Original subtitles

Helen? Helen?

Where are you, Helen?

Helen? You scared the life out of me.

Why aren't you upstairs in bed?

Oh, my neck was hurting again. I couldn't sleep.

Me neither, with you walking around like a bride of Frankenstein.

Danny, I was thinking.

At 5 o 'clock in the morning? That's the best time to think.

It's a better time to sleep. Come on. No, no, I don't feel like it.

Oh, Stanley.

I was just lying there in bed.

It was frightening.

I know. I've seen you.

All I could think of was, is this all there is?

What? I mean, there has to be more in life than just sleeping and eating and

watching television, doesn't there?

Why?

Why?

got together.

Why did you marry me, Stanley?

Oh, that was a long time ago, Helen.

No, I want to know.

Can we let bygones be bygones?

Stanley. Forgive and forget. That's my motto.

Come on, let's go to sleep. No, not until you tell me why you married me.

I married you because, uh...

Because I thought you were

the most beautiful girl in the world.

Oh, Stanley, you didn't. I did then.

Come on, Ellen, why are you talking like this? I want to know, what's it all

about? What's what all about? Life, Stanley, life. What's life all about?

Life, life, uh, life is about, uh...

Give me your hand.

Now let's go to bed.

Oh, my neck!

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Wait, let me get the heating pad. It'll make your neck feel

better. Where is it?

Oh, I don't think we unpacked it. It's probably still up in the storage room.

Oh, well, I'll look for it later. Look, just sit still. I'll get you a nice hot

cup of coffee. Okay.

And I'll get you the morning paper.

And while you're reading that, you won't have to think about anything. Oh, all

right. Thank you, Sally.

before I got outside.

Oh, look, it's happened again.

Another nice note and another little rose.

Let me see it.

Every morning now for two weeks, a nice little thank you note and a little fresh

rosebud. Oh, I wonder what it means.

It means there are a lot of sick people out there.

Or it could be some guy trying to make time with you.

You think so?

Well, like I said, there are a lot of sick people out there.

I will be calm.

I will be calm.

I will be calm.

Jeffrey, what is it? Someone is stealing my roses.

Jeffrey, who'd do a thing like that? I do not know, but I intend to find out.

Hello, police? I would like to report a robbery.

Jeffrey!

Shh, that's right, officer.

Sometime last night. And unless I missed my guess, the thief will strike again

tonight.

What's he taking?

Roses.

Roses.

That's right.

Flowers. From my garden.

And if you want to catch the blackguard... Hello?

Maybe they have to keep the lines open for emergencies. And while they're

sitting around waiting for an emergency, the Rose Thief is stalking the city.

Stalking the city. That's not bad, you see.

Stalking... Coffee's getting cold.

David, did you see any suspicious characters hanging around?

No. Oh, David was telling me how interesting yesterday was at school.

Oh, really? You want to tell me about it, son? I was learning about...

Well, that is very interesting.

What? We were talking about how babies were made.

And I had no idea they taught sex education at David's school. I wish I

told. Oh, Jeffrey, they wouldn't let you in the classroom.

about the facts of life. Yes, yes, yes. And the sooner the better.

Now, sit down, David.

I recall being somewhat older than David when my father had this kind of talk

with me.

That's true. We were getting married the very next day.

Now, where to begin?

Where to begin?

Oh, yes.

First of all, David, little boys are different.

From little girls.

I think he picked up on that already.

Please, you're not making any of this easier.

Jeffrey, you know, you can buy a very good book with pictures.

Pictures? So you can do the job right.

Would you... Do you honestly think that I have to depend upon a book to

communicate to my son something as important as the mystery of life itself?

What are you going to tell him? The truth.

Now, come here, fella.

What do you want to know?

Where did I come from? San Diego.

Jeffrey. Well, it's the truth.

Not the whole truth. I'll tell him the rest later. Later?

After I've bought the book.

That's all you're going to say is hi?

How about goodbye?

Oh, you know.

You'd rather I say. I'd rather see what you got in that bag.

It's personal belongings.

Yeah, but whose?

At least you got all our silver in it. We don't have any silver.

We need a lot of money for stainless steel these days.

How did you get up here? Yeah, yeah, you know, I checked every lock on every

door personally.

You left the window open.

You left...

leaves it open every night. Every night?

How many nights have you been up here?

Two weeks.

You mean you've been sleeping here for the last two weeks?

And you thought we had mice.

What's your name?

Jenny. Jenny Ballinger.

Oh, hi.

I'm Helen Roper. I know.

You know? Oh, well, yeah.

I guess you would.

She's been up here casing the whole neighborhood.

And this is my husband, Kojak.

You forget I'm the one who found it.

Only because I sent you up here to find the heating pad for my neck.

What's wrong with your neck?

Oh, I don't know. It's a pinched nerve or something.

Really? Sit down.

Here, hold this.

Now you just relax.

Try a little acupressure here.

Oh!

That's it right there.

like you doing sleeping on our floor?

Because I didn't have a place of my own anymore.

Why?

Because I wouldn't let my landlord fix my bathtub.

Why not?

I was in it at the time.

So he evicted me.

That's terrible.

It's not so bad.

Except then I couldn't find a place I could afford.

Until you found our open window.

Right. So when I finished my paper route, I parked my car around the corner

I climbed up your trellis.

You're our paper boy?

Good Lord, his eyes are going, too.

You're the one who's been leaving all those thank -you notes?

Oh, and all those lovely roses.

Ooh!

What's the matter?

The pain.

It's all gone.

What'd you do to her?

Very simple.

Pressure applied to certain parts in the body wakes up the muscles, puts new

life into the system.

go to school?

Yes, art school.

Oh, Stanley.

Hey, what are you doing?

I want to see if there's anything in here that belongs to me.

I don't think it's your size.

I better be going.

Oh, hey, wait a minute. Where are you going to stay?

Don't worry about it. No, wait. I will worry unless I know you have a place to

stay.

So, uh, why don't you just stay here tonight?

Have you gone nuts?

Uh, so, Jenny, the bathroom... There's a second door on the right. Now, would

you be a good girl and go down there and freshen up while I take care of Stanley

Steamer here?

Thanks.

I don't want to stay in here one more night.

We're lucky we weren't found dead in our bed.

Yeah, from boredom.

She could be a dope fiend.

A what?

You know, one of those kids taking PPP?

That's PCP. Well, whatever. I don't want to hear it.

But tomorrow, out she goes.

She still makes me jumpy.

I'm sure she's a thief.

Oh, Stanley, don't be ridiculous.

Well, she took my dessert at dinner last night.

You had dessert?

Yeah, but I usually have seconds. Last night, my seconds were her first.

Look, I made out a list. I want you to go to the market.

I'm going to make a nice brunch for Jenny.

It's 11 o 'clock. Why isn't she up and out of here?

She didn't finish work till 5 .30 in the morning.

How do you know that?

I heard her come in the door.

She picked the lock?

No, silly. I gave her a key.

You gave her a key?

I think when she fixed your neck, you loosened your head.

that a key is like wrapping up all your jewels and handing them to her for

Christmas. If I wanted to wrap up all my jewels, I wouldn't be able to find a

piece of paper small enough.

That's a sign.

Hi, guys.

What a beautiful day.

Good morning, Danny.

I think I'm going to the market. See you later.

Oh, and don't worry about the key.

I only had copies made for a few of my best friends.

Women.

What you doing?

My father told me to keep an eye on those roses.

Oh, you don't have to worry about those. Nobody's going to steal them anymore.

How come?

I tracked down the rose snapper.

That's how come.

Jenny, do your parents know how you're living?

Mrs. Roper, I've been on my own now for three years, and I like it that way. And

I guess they do, too.

They do?

Sure. I mean, they got more important things on their mind.

Like my dad.

He's up north someplace.

Trying to find himself.

And your mother?

I haven't seen her in years. One day she baked a tray of cookies and just took

off.

Why? I don't know.

Cookies weren't that bad.

Must have been a blow when she left like that. Be all alone.

Not really. She makes friends easily.

How did you get into your storeroom?

Uh, Mrs. Roper left the window open.

You want to go to the market with me?

No, thanks.

I'm waiting for Daddy. He's bringing a book home about sex.

What?

His pictures.

Really? Yeah, my mommy said it will help him do the job right.

All right.

Yeah, hello, David.

Hi, Dad.

I, uh, I hope he hasn't been bothering you. Oh, we've been having a nice chat.

I was talking to David.

Come on, huh?

Hope you enjoy your book.

What

were

you and Mr. Roper talking about?

Sex.

David? Did Mr.

Roper say anything interesting?

And?

I think it would have been nice.

Nah. Kids can be a pain. Take me, for instance.

Yeah, you. What about you?

Oh, I'm a pain.

I mean, I'm always yelling about being independent and on my own and

But then I get mad because there's no one around to give me a hug when I'm

really feeling low.

Well, everybody needs a hug now and then.

Nah. I'm a nerd.

A nerd?

What's a nerd?

Old enough to be your mother.

Of course I was a child bride.

Hello. Oh, Stanley, where are you?

I'm in the shopping center parking lot.

My car won't start.

So what else is new?

Did you call the tow truck?

Tow truck?

Why don't I just call a mugger and hand him my wallet?

You've got to come down here and get me.

How? Ask that girl to drive you.

Jenny, oh, that's a good idea.

Right. And she can keep right on driving.

Nerd.

I think it's a valve.

300 bucks if it's a sin.

Can I take a look at it?

You? What are you going to do? Tie it together with your suspenders?

Joey will look at it tomorrow.

Maybe he could do something.

Yeah. He can haul it away to the nearest dump.

Hey, they don't make it worse. That's impossible, Stanley.

Hey, be careful you'll dent it.

You want to try it now?

Are you kidding?

It's going to take more than a little puttering around with your nail file.

It's a carburetor.

Yeah?

Well, I was going to look at that next.

Never ate so fast in my life.

Don't you like Jenny?

She clears the table like a vacuum cleaner.

I see you two have a lot in common.

Who's she now?

Doing the dishes.

You better count them when she's finished.

You know, Stanley, you know what I was thinking?

Yes, and the answer's no.

You'd like her to stay one more night, wouldn't you? Right?

Wrong.

I'd like her to stay as long as she wants to stay.

What?

You know, you and my car have a lot in common. You're both firing on half your

cylinders.

Roper, I'd like to have a word with you. Okay, how about this one? Goodbye.

Oh, Mr.

Brooks, I'm so sorry.

What did you want to see us about?

I want you to get rid of that female rose thief.

Fallon, give him a chance, will you?

Are we through playing games here?

Young lady, I think you should hear this too.

Good Lord, she's wearing suspenders.

I think you should bear in mind that the tenants of Royaldale townhouses are

reputable people.

Well, Stanley and I... Are exceptions.

Are you going to send her packing or not?

That's for me to decide and you to find out. But she's riff -raff.

Don't you dare... How could you talk that way in front of...

She's gone.

Me?

I wanted her to stay.

Oh, no, you did not.

Yeah, Brooks just helped me decide.

I mean, there's a lot of great things that Jenny did. She fixed your neck,

my car.

She ruined Brooks Rosebush.

You really wanted her to stay?

Crossed my heart. I was going to tell her tonight she can stay as long as she

wants.

Why aren't you playing with your friends?

Oh, this is more fun.

Oh? Jenny's teaching me the facts of life. Oh, really?

I warned Roper I knew this would happen. Mr. Roper, I think... I know what you

think. Now, David, I want you to tell me exactly what nonsense she told you.

You should always tell the truth.

Oh, no

The Ropers was videotaped in front of a studio audience.