All language subtitles for The Ropers s02e07 All Around The Clock

Stanley.

Stanley, time to wake up. Come on.

I got something real nice for you.

Not now, Helen. It's too early.

Not that.

This. What?

Don't you remember what day this is?

Yeah, Sunday.

It's our anniversary.

23 years.

You woke me up to tell me that?

And to give you your present.

What is it?

Something to make you more macho.

I'm not going to take any more of those
vitamins, Helen.

For heaven's sake, open it.

A pipe. You got me a pipe.

And some tobacco.

Why?

Isn't that what you put in a pipe?

I thought you didn't like me to smoke.

Oh, yeah, but see, the girls down at the
beauty parlor were reading this

magazine article that says that men who
smoke pipes are more... romantic.

Come on, Helen, don't take all the fun
out of this.

23 years today, huh?

Yeah.

I don't suppose that you remembered to
buy me one.

I didn't know you wanted a pipe.

present.

Are you kidding? How could I not think
of buying you something?

You've been dropping hints for weeks.

I have not. What about all those ads for
fur coats?

Oh, Stanley, you didn't. No, I didn't.

I got you something better.

Oh, you did remember. I was sure you'd
forget.

Oh, it's a clock.

Not just a clock. It's an antique mantel
clock.

Oh, it's beautiful. How much was it?

You don't ask somebody the price of a
gift, especially an expensive gift like

this. Oh, yeah, you're right.

A hundred dollars.

A hundred dollars? Yeah, it's worth a
lot more, but I got a very good buy.

Oh, it's lovely.

Yeah, see, the antique dealer was trying
to clean out all his stock because he

was in a hurry. His van was double
parked.

Well, it's still lovely.

You deserve a great...

Nothing but golf, golf, golf. You mean
nothing but nag, nag, nag.

I thought we were going skiing.

You can't ski with golf clubs in. It
throws you way off balance.

I thought you'd enjoy learning how to
play golf.

I might if you didn't criticize me. And
you're standing all wrong.

And you're not keeping your eye on the
ball. And that's just when I was

your golf bag.

Certainly not.

You dug a lot of them.

Not intentionally.

Oh, no.

Jeffrey, Jeffrey.

Yes, yes.

No, no.

Wow, we've been robbed.

Oh, Stanley, I'm so glad you're here
because... I need your opinion.

Sure. Yeah, do you think my new clock
looks better here on this table, or do

think it'd look better over there on
that table?

Looks better here.

Thank you.

Oh, look at this. What's that?

Ah, the Brookses are back home.

I thought I heard somebody kick in my
car.

Oh, I'd like to kick some...

You have to keep puffing that smoke.

You know, Helen, you're right. A pipe
makes a man feel more like a man.

Really, Sam?

Keep puffing. You just keep puffing.

Hey, look at that.

It's a police car pulling up outside.

Police? What'd you do?

Me nothing.

It's the dog.

You didn't get a license for a muffin,
did you?

You were supposed to do that. You were
supposed to do that.

Oh, damn me. Will they take my little
muffin? Look, just calm down.

If they come in here, I'm going to
handle this in a man's way.

What will you do?

Pretend we're not at home.

Well, whoever did it just forced the
lock on the back door. After that, it

easy. Why did they come through the back
garden?

Couldn't they see the lawn had just been
seeded?

You'd be surprised how few burblers are
garden lovers.

We never used to have crime in this
area.

It's that new housing project.

Oh, you think so? Oh, sure. It's a den
of thieves. Really?

That's where you should start your
investigation, officer.

It's right down the road. I know where
it is. I live there.

Of course, I'm not saying that they're
all criminals. Thank you.

I checked through the kitchen. The only
thing missing is the blender.

Blender. Which I lent to the ropers next
door.

Oh, yes, rovers. It might be worth
talking to them.

I've never thought so.

Not your type, Mr. Brooks? Probably
moved here from the housing project.

Why do you always have to act so
superior?

I?

Act superior?

And that's ridiculous. I'm way above
that sort of thing.

Hi.

Well. Hi there.

Do you live here?

I'm a cop from the 12th Division.

Oh, good.

Then you can help me with this case.

What's the first thing we should do,
Sergeant?

Captain.

I should have figured.

Captain? I think we should jump in the
car, chase after them with a siren

Good. Then you can jump out and arrest
them single -handed.

How's that? Okay, but I'm not allowed to
cross the street.

Oh.

I'm not really a policeman. Oh, no?

Well, still it's fun pretending, isn't
it?

You mean you're not really a policeman
either?

Stanley, do you think the policeman is
questioning the Brooks about muffins?

I think they're after Brooks.

Why? Why?

The fancy car, those shirts, those ties.

What? White -collar crime, Helen. White
-collar crime.

They're cracking down.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

The cops don't knock at anybody's door
unless they're on something.

Ah!

What?

Quiet. Sammy, it's the police.

Shh. Just a minute. Just a minute,
Helen.

Remember, it's your dog.

Mrs. Roper?

Yes? I'm Officer McNabb. I'd like to ask
you a few questions.

Oh, well... You don't have to tell them
anything, Helen.

This is my husband.

Good morning, sir.

Aren't the flowers supposed to go in the
vase?

Huh? Oh.

I suppose you're here to see about the
dog license?

Dog license?

No, no, no. The chief handles all the
big stuff himself.

Well, if you're not here about our
puppy... No, it's about your neighbor.

There's been a robbery.

I'll bet you Brooks denied everything.

Huh? What happened, officer?

Well, someone broke into the house and
got all kinds of... Wait a minute, wait

minute. You mean they were robbed? Yeah,
sometime in the last few days.

The Brooks were robbed.

You'll have to excuse my husband,
officer.

He gets his nervous reaction to bad
news.

Makes him laugh.

He gets hysterical at funerals.

I see.

Well, Mrs. Roper, I don't suppose you're
missing anything. You gotta be kidding.

I mean, I know. No, no, not us. I
thought you... Would you excuse me? I

go next door and see how poor Mrs.
Brooks is doing.

Excuse me.

Well, sir, have you heard any unusual
noises in the last few days?

Noises?

Oh, you mean like footsteps in the dark?

Whispering?

Locks breaking, things like that? Right.
No, I didn't hear anything.

Do you want to pull on this?

Oh, thank you.

Oh, my.

It must have been such a shock.

Did they take very much? All my jewelry?

Jeffrey's cufflinks? The stereo?

You'll never see any of it again.

Those people sell it as fast as they
steal it.

There's one thing that really upset us.
They took a wedding present that

Jeffrey's mother gave us. A beautiful
antique mantel clock.

Wrong way.

Did you say antique mantel clock?

It's a brass clock with black numerals
and beveled glass.

And you can see the moving parts.

You've seen it? No!

Of course you have. We kept it on the
side table there.

Oh, yes, of course.

It's insured, but we can never replace
it. No, we'll never see it again.

By now, some dastardly thief is counting
his money.

Some horrible stranger is admiring our
clock.

My sergeant isn't gonna like this. Just
tell him you sweat a lot.

Stanley! Stanley! Oh!

Hello, officer.

What's the matter, Helen?

Nothing, nothing, Stanley.

I just, uh, I just...

be away from you for such a long time.

What?

You won't be keeping him from any more
questions, will you, officer?

Uh, well, no. Because I want him.

I beg your pardon?

Over here, Stanley.

Will you try to control yourself?

Next to me, baby.

Next to you?

Yeah.

Close to me.

It's my pipe.

She wants your pipe?

I see the lady's red about it in the
beauty parlor.

Well, it's not in front of the cop. I
think it's against the law.

Well, I want to thank you both.

Thank you both for all your help.

What's the matter with you?

What's the matter?

Think, Stanley.

A mantel clock was stolen from the
Brooks about the same time that you

this clock from a curbside antique
dealer.

So?

You're not thinking.

Don't jump to conclusions, Helen. I bet
you their clock is different from this.

Is theirs made of bran?

Yeah.

Desserts have the fancy glass all over
it? Yes.

Okay. Desserts have black numbers on the
face?

Yes.

Okay, let's start over.

Desserts were stolen. I bought mine from
an honest businessman.

Be reasonable, Danny. What honest
businessman sells his wares from the

van?

That's the cop. Get rid of this.

Here, you get rid of it. You get rid of
it. I'm going to answer the call. Wait,

wait, wait, wait.

Oh.

Oh, it's you.

What do you want? I believe you have
something of ours.

I never saw it.

You never saw it? You mean you haven't
watered it?

Watered it?

Oh, you mean the plant that I was taking
care of while you were gone. I watered

it every day.

Well, I certainly hope so, Mrs. Roper.

Oh, there!

Thank you very much.

Oh -ho!

What have we here?

Look, I can explain.

I hope so.

Look at these dead leaves.

Are you sure you ordered it?

Every day.

Really? Well, I hope it'll recover with
proper care.

Yes. Well, I see the thieves haven't
taken anything from over here.

Of course. They know better than to try
anything in this house.

Interesting. Criminals with taste.

Oh!

Can't keep it going, Helen.

I've noticed that.

It's not working the way it's supposed
to.

I've noticed that, too.

I think it's the way it's curved.

clock, it's your clock.

You gave it to me. But you took it.

Stanley!

Wait a minute.

I think I got the answer. Good, good.
What is it?

I'm going to put less tobacco in the
bowl.

Stanley, you don't seem to understand.
You could be charged with receiving

stolen goods.

Now, we've got to get that car back to
the Brookses.

Oh, good, because then they'll be
charged with receiving stolen goods.

thing to do, we gotta take that clock
back to them tomorrow and tell them the

truth. That you bought it from a toned
stranger who was double parked for a

quick getaway.

Oh, no!

We can't tell them that.

Why can't we sneak it in there without
them noticing it? That is the most

stupid, ridiculous... On the other
hand... I, uh, must

say, Charles, it's wonderful to have a
friend helping us with our insurance

claim. Scotch and soda.

Just a flash, thanks. All righty.

They took all our glasses.

They took the good scotch, too, huh?

No.

You know, for one terrible moment
yesterday, I thought I hadn't renewed my

insurance policy.

Really?

Did I renew my insurance?

Unfortunately, yes.

You covered for everything except flood.

You sure it was a burglary and not a
flood? Of course there was a flood.

why everything's under six feet of
water. Hey, just a little joke, Jeffrey.

Sorry, I'm sorry.

Now, what would life be if we kept
getting depressed about losing a few

possessions, hmm? You're right, I'm
sorry.

It's only money. You're right. You're
right. You're right.

You're claiming $40 for an electric
razor?

It's only money.

That's not funny, Jeffrey.

We won't give you more than $20 for it.

That's fair enough. It's twice what it
cost me.

Okay,

$10. Of course, you might get lucky and
have the police recover the loot. No, I

don't have that kind of luck.

I have this kind.

Mr. Brooks, my husband wanted to come
over and express his sympathy for what

happened. Well, thank you. That's very
kind. Oh, he also...

Wanted to express this sympathy to your
wife.

Oh, I'm sorry. She's not at home. Oh,
thank you.

Will she be very long, do you think?
Well, I hope not. I mean, she's down at

police station. They think they might
have a lead on the people who robbed us.

Let's go help.

Sit down, Stanley.

Oh, this is Charles Remington. He's
helping us with our insurance claim.

Better help him stick it to him, huh?

That's good.

Insurance companies are all crooks.

I work for an insurance company.

Oh, good, good. Then you must know all
the dirty tricks.

Do you mind if we continue? Good.

Okay, let's recheck this list, shall we?

Electric razor, $10.

Cup links, platinum.

Against what?

Against my other leg.

Well, but this is an empty clock. Now,
my mother had it valued over $400, and

that was some years ago. Well, I don't
think we will wait for Ann any longer.

Why not? Maybe she'll give us a drink.

Actually,

I can't stay too long myself.

Is that the right time?

No, that runs about a half hour to...

Officer McNabb asked me to be sure to
tell you that.

Jeffrey, look. We got your razor, my
jewelry, and best of all, your mother's

antique metal clock.

What?

It's a fine piece. I can see what you
mean.

Wait a minute.

Isn't that your clock?

This piece of junk?

Junk? It's a fake antique. Made in Hong
Kong. They sell them for ten bucks a

piece.

but I paid $20.

$20?

You told me $100!

It's yours?

Mine? No, no, no. It's hers.

What's it doing here?

Oh, well, I just brought it over because
I thought you might want to

borrow it since you lost yours.

Oh, how nice.

But obviously you wouldn't.

Piece of Hong Kong junk.

Come on, Stanley.

I'll come when I'm ready. I'm the man in
this family, remember?

That's another thing.

You lied to me, Stanley.

You told me this hunk of junk cost $100
and only cost $20.

It's the thought that counts, Helen.

You owe me $80.

$80?

Listen, Helen, giving you a present
isn't the only way we can celebrate our

anniversary. Don't try to weasel out of
it, Stanley, because...

What did you say?

I just, I thought it would be nice if we
could retire early and celebrate our

anniversary upstairs.

Oh, Stanley, do you mean it? Sure I mean
it.

We just liked last Saturday night,
remember?

How could I forget?

I'll take the $80.

The Ropers was videotaped in front of a
studio audience.

Jack's not sure what to do when he
thinks Vicki's recently dumped friend is

coming on to him.

Three's a Crowd is next on Deja View.