Original subtitles

Hey, Mom.

Oh, hey, Kira. You got in another college application. This one's from

Women's University.

An all -girls school? What's the point of college?

Kira, you got to get on this. College is just right around the corner.

No, Jake's around the corner getting beat up by a girl.

Yeah, she really likes him.

College is a long time away.

Ten months is not a long time.

Is it really? Only ten months? Yeah, you're going to be gone before you know

Wow, I guess I will.

Yeah, and honey, if you don't take care of this on your own, you'll be going to

Good Buddy Trucking Academy.

Jake, fetal position!

Fetal position!

Man, that chick really likes him.

Mrs. H., what are you doing?

What's it look like I'm doing? I'm making a salad, you donkey.

Yeah, I see that. In the middle of the day, we have work to do. Do I have to

remind you that I gave up a great opportunity with Norris Realty to stick

you? Apparently, because you bring it up every ten seconds.

And yet, you choose to waste time feeding your family. I don't get it.

Sam, look, I know you want to work harder, so this is what I've come up

Instead of us getting to the office at 8 o 'clock in the morning, we get there

at 7 .45.

What do you think about that?

Wow, with that go -get -em attitude, I'm surprised you don't run the world.

And just listen.

Fifteen minutes adds up to six hours and fifteen minutes a month.

Heck, you've wasted twice that much just noodling over there in the garage this

week. Noodling? Noodling.

Mrs. H.

I have a surprise for you. It is cool, it is awesome, and it is in the very

garage that you just mentioned. Van, I don't want to see two spiders mating

again.

Don't worry, she ate them after they did it. Come on.

Ta -da!

Welcome to our new state -of -the -art home office.

Wow, so this is what you've been doing over here.

Okay, where's the lawnmower?

Under your bed.

Do you see, Mrs. H?

Do you see?

Now we don't have to go to the office to work. You can come down here any time,

day or night. Even in your bathrobe with no makeup on.

Just give me the heads up if you're going to be doing that.

Ring, ring.

Hello, Reba Hart here in my new home office.

Oh, it's a good question, potential client. Let me consult my newly

files.

Oh, my.

How convenient.

A database of every listing in the Houston area. Would you lookie there?

My son -in -law is not a donkey.

Paul, you're back.

Huh? Yeah, and while I'm doing all this work stuff, who's doing everything else

around the house?

You.

Ding. What's that? Oh, yes, the laundry's done.

Now I take out the laundry right when it's dry and fold it so it doesn't

wrinkle, and then I iron it just the way Van likes it.

Well, Van, I gotta hand it to you. Looks like you've thought of everything.

That's right, because that's what you get when your partner is a genius.

And if you need some fresh air...

This is H. I made a list of 200 potential clients that we need to call

end of the day. I also written up some really cool icebreakers.

Hi, I'm Reba Hart, and I'm dying.

I'm dying?

To sell your house.

Got your attention, didn't it?

I don't know, Van. Calling 100 people in one day, isn't that a little much?

No, no, because I was thinking, why is North Realty so successful?

And then it hit me.

It's because they sell more houses.

You really do understand this business.

I understand that if I wanted to be rich and successful, I would have taken the

offer from Norris Realty. Instead, I'm a loyal, hardworking, good person with

nice hair and a killer smile.

That's not a killer smile. That's a smile of a killer.

Oh, aren't those the best?

It's hard to believe they're fat -free.

It's hard to believe they're food.

I told you eating healthy would make you feel better.

Now, I know it's an adjustment, but, honey, I'm just so proud of you.

Okay, Dad.

Double chili cheeseburger, a side of onion rings, and a chocolate shake.

Oh.

And they stamped your card so you got a free apple pie. Yes.

Brock?

Honey? Oh, don't worry, baby.

I'm going to eat this on the treadmill.

The way that man eats just makes me so mad I could spit, which I will

not do because a lady doesn't spit.

Although my aunt used to spit professionally.

She trained in France.

Barbagine, I have something I want to tell you, and when I do, I don't want

to cry or make a big deal about it.

Oh, my gosh.

Is it my aunt's saliva? Is she dead?

Oh, God.

Oh, God. No.

No.

I want to move back in with my mom.

Oh.

I see.

Please don't be upset.

Oh. Oh.

It's not about you. Yeah, I was, um... You know, I was, uh...

Yeah, I was just thinking about my aunt, you know.

I should really go see her.

You know, I haven't seen her since she won the Baton Rouge spit -off.

Look, I know this isn't easy for you, but I'm going to be going to college in

less than a year, and I just want to spend that time with my mom.

You understand, right?

Oh, sure.

Of course I do.

So you're not upset or angry?

Oh, no, honey, no.

In fact, I'm actually...

I'm actually kind of proud of you.

I think you made the right decision.

Thanks, Barbara Jean. Of course.

Johnson. Yeah.

Even with 20 % capital gains, you're looking at a profit of $60 ,219.

Mom, can you help me with my homework? Honey, I'm terrible at math.

Mom! Stop whining.

Oh, no, no, not you, sir. Oh,

can you hang on just a second? I'm getting another call. Thank you.

Ray Bahart.

I've made 83 calls. How about you?

Well, seven. But in fairness, number four was lonely and wanted to talk about

her cats.

Come on, Mrs. H, we need to concentrate. The only thing that we should be

focusing on is real estate, real estate, real estate. By the way, when's dinner?

Okay, then I gotta go.

Okay, sir, now about your house.

Mom, Elizabeth may or may not have flushed something down the toilet.

What? Well, let's just say her pink dolly's missing and the bathroom is

Well, stick your hand down the toilet.

Oh, no, no, not you, sir.

Hello? Mom, I need your help. Honey, I'm cooking dinner. Jay, go help your

sister clean up.

Ew, gross.

Oh, you are so... Such a little girl.

Mrs. H, you hung up on me, and I had to come all the way from the office to talk

to you.

Van, dinner will be ready when it's ready. This is not about dinner. This is

about your poor work ethic.

Poor work ethic?

I've been busting my hump since 6 a .m. Seven calls, you're barely scratching

your hump.

Van, look, I am trying my hardest, but I have other responsibilities. I am the

head of this household.

that goes on around here has to come through me. I have to juggle work and

family. Well, so do I. Why do you think I'm pushing it so hard? I don't know.

Why are you? Because Cheyenne is having a baby.

I did not know that.

Oh, babe, we're going to have another baby!

So this is why you've been acting so insane. Yes.

A baby is coming, and I guarantee you it's going to show up with no money.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Here's the thing. Cheyenne doesn't want you to

know. Hey, we're talking about my grandchild here.

Cheyenne's wishes mean nothing to me.

Wait.

Mrs. H, it just happened, and she doesn't want you to worry.

With your high blood pressure and short fuse, you're a ticking bomb.

When we tell people, you'll be the first.

Okay. I understand.

I'll try to contain my excitement. Thank you. And just don't gush and coo or

she'll know something's up.

Okay. Promise?

Yes, Ben, I promise.

Okay. Ah!

What? I'm just going to the bathroom. Well, if you're going to go on break,

you're going to need to sign out.

Okay.

There's no I in Reba.

Barbara Jean, is that you?

What are you doing?

I changed my mind. I'm not letting you go.

Why? I explained why I'm moving back.

I want to spend time with my mommy. Oh, please.

No teenager wants to spend time with their parents.

You are doing this because Brock and I are crazy.

Well, as hard as it is to say this to somebody who's chaining me into a room,

you are not crazy.

Oh, really?

Kira, I have 400 Beanie Babies.

I have them arranged by occupation.

Your father, he's got a tan that makes him look like a piece of Melba toast.

Saying you guys can't be a little... challenging.

But I have loved living here.

You mean it?

Yes.

And what you said about teenagers is true.

I might have even felt that way about my mom when I moved in here.

But you've changed me.

I've changed you?

Hearing you talk... Hearing you talk about Mom and how much you love her,

it made me realize how special she is.

I owe you for that.

Huh.

I am responsible for the reunification of you and your mother.

Go to her.

Go to your mother. She needs your love.

I was kind of... Don't question my wisdom. Just go.

Go and love her with your newly healed heart.

I'm not crazy.

You know, I don't know what made me think of this, but when I was pregnant

Jake, I ate a ton of ice cream.

Yeah, and look what happened to him.

Can I hug you?

What for?

No reason.

Oh, I love you, I love you.

Mama,

are you all right? You're acting weird.

Oh, I'm doing great.

You know, I'm taking this new medication from a high blood pressure, and it's

really working.

You smoking that medicine?

You're so funny, you're funny enough for two people.

No, what I was talking about is that since I've been taking this new

my blood pressure is perfect, so you can spring anything on me you want to, and

it's no problem.

Boo! Jake,

what do you mean, speaking up on me like that? What are you thinking?

But you just said that I... When do you ever listen to me? Now get upstairs

before you give me a heart attack!

Children.

Hey, speaking of children, you know, I was watching Elizabeth the other day and

she seemed so lonely.

We probably ought to get her a pet or a baby.

Pet.

Just thought I'd share that with you.

Anything you want to share with me?

Nope, I'm good.

Okay.

We'll talk later.

Sorry, what was that?

Nothing. Okay.

Mom? Yes, honey.

Nothing.

Okay.

Mom? Oh, yes, honey. Never mind. Oh, Cheyenne, I'm getting dizzy. I ain't

pregnant. I know, but you told me. After we celebrate.

when you were pregnant when you were in high school? I thought this would be so

much easier.

Well, actually, this time it's a little harder.

What are you talking about?

Well, with the new baby, Van and I, we're going to move out.

What? Yeah, we're a growing family and there's no room here.

Oh, sure there is.

Heck, when I was born, we were living with my grandparents and they kept me in

shoebox on top of the radiator.

We're no longer... We're no longer two kids in high school trying to raise a

baby. We're two adults with a growing family.

It's time.

Let's see.

Come on, Mom.

You had to know that this was going to happen someday.

Not really.

I always thought that you guys would never get your lives together and you'd

just be here with me forever.

Is that really what you wanted for us? Well, a mother can dream, can't she?

Look, Mom, Van's going to find a house really close by and you can come over

whenever you want. You don't want me hanging around an old meddling mother

-law barging in.

Oh, Mom.

Well, I have a lock.

I love you.

I love you, too.

And I love you too, you little troublemaker.

What made you two make this big decision right now?

Well, Van was out in the garage looking at these two spiders.

What's this? Don't touch that.

Those are all the listings on the market today and a bunch of frozen waffles.

I want the files to look really full.

And what's that?

These are the houses that Cheyenne and I are looking at.

And why are you here?

Is this the only place where you can hide from the sunlight?

Well, I heard that besides knocking up my sister, you were actually good at

something. I had to see it for myself.

Well, now that you have, why don't you go to the malt shop and hang out with

Potsy and Ralph?

And what's with the tape?

Why not?

Because if you do, I will follow you to college, stand up in front of your dorm,

and tell everyone I see that I'm your boyfriend.

And I will say it like this.

Here's my girlfriend.

I love her.

Sam, we need to talk. Have you signed back in?

Look, this thing with you and Cheyenne moving out, I wasn't happy about it at

first, but in the long run, I think it'll be great for everyone.

And I understand about you wanting to work so hard for your family because

family is the most important thing.

Yep.

That's my old carrot top.

Yeah, and to prove it, I'm going to get to work right now on this phone list.

All right.

Mom, is that how you really feel? Yep. Work, work, work.

Oh, because I actually wanted to move back in with you.

Don't mess with me, Kara, because right now I'm very fragile.

No, I mean it.

Yes! I'm taking the day off. Well, Mr. Diggs, we have work to do.

Family comes first, Van.

Let's go fix your room up.

Sign out for me.

No, don't take it!

I have got to move those shelves.

We are finally adults.

I know.

This is the biggest thing to happen to us since we became parents.

You know, all thanks to your mom.

She let us stay here when we needed help, and now she's letting us leave.

She is something else, isn't she? I just hope when it comes time for us to let

Elizabeth go, we can be as selfless as she is.

Mrs. H., what are you doing? I changed my mind.

Nobody's going nowhere.

Start packing. I'll get the bolt cutters.

You got the back door, too?

Tie some sheets together. We're going out the window.