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And then Daddy nagged the ball out of the air, and then he jigged, and then he
zagged, and then he zagged again to get away from the defense, and he scored!
Touchdown! And Daddy was going to spike the ball, but he kissed it!
Because he loved it so much.
Okay, the ball's over. It is nap time.
Oh, you said if I stop being crabby, no nap.
Elizabeth. Oh, come on, Cheyenne. I just got home. I want to play with her some
more. Well, play on the way upstairs.
Okay, Elizabeth.
It's time for the halftime show.
Yeah,
that'll calm her down for a nap.
Hey, Reba. Hey.
I brought you a little something.
Oh.
Straight from Brock's dental practice.
we like to call your 20 % share of the monthly profits.
Where's the rest of it? Yeah, that's why I didn't mail it.
I'd have to deduct the price of the stamp and you'd owe me money.
Oh, Lord, it is funny how Brock's practice is making so little money.
No, it's not.
He's taking too much time off to chase his pro -golf dream and he's running his
dental practice into the ground.
Amen to that, Reverend.
He needs to make a decision what he's going to do. Dang it, Doctor.
One or the other, golf or dentistry.
You can put mustard on that and eat it.
Sir, are you going to talk to him?
Oh, no way.
Talking to Brock about how I feel would be exactly the wrong thing to do.
Why? Reba, our relationship is in a very delicate place right now.
We've only been in therapy a short time, and the last thing I want to do is
pressure him.
Actually, the last thing I want to do is go to the mall with the back of my
dress tucked into my pantyhose.
Stupid kids with those phones that take pictures.
Well,
then, if you're not going to talk any sense into your husband, I guess I will.
You can dip that in batter, put a stick in it, and sell it at the state fair.
How many carnies did you date?
With gentle hands and the heart of a fighter, I'm a
survivor.
Oh, you suck, Hart!
Hey, Reva, how's it going?
Look at this.
Doesn't this embarrass you?
No, Barbara Jean's the one that picked out the little ducky pattern.
The amount?
Yeah, yeah, I know. It's just that I've been spending a lot of time practicing
my putting.
Oh, for the love of meatloaf.
You know, I don't play the game, but you want it to go in, right?
What's your point?
Quit this pro -golf deal.
Go back to being a full -time dentist.
Reba, I can't give up golf now. I'm in the middle of a tournament.
Yeah? How's it going?
I'm hanging in there.
You know, the usual.
God. Really?
The best you've ever done in a tournament is Mr.
Congeniality.
You know what?
It's not easy juggling two careers. I mean, when I'm out on the golf course, I
should be thinking about golf. Instead, I'm worried about if I have fresh
magazines in the waiting room. That's the point, Brock.
Your hand's in two places.
Three, if you count where I think it is.
You've got to make a choice.
Before this business is completely worthless.
For your information, Reba, a dentist in the building wants to buy my practice.
Yes, that's right. He's already made an offer.
Really? Yeah.
Okay, then I changed my mind. You're a great golfer. Take the money.
It's not that great an offer. More reason to jump on it before this
becomes a ghost town.
All right, look, I tell you what. Between tournaments, I'll spend more
working on the practice.
No, Brock, it doesn't work that way. You have to make a choice to be a golfer or
a dentist.
Maybe I should make a decision.
I don't know. I just can't decide.
Brock, remember when you wanted to grow mutton chops in a Fu Manchu, but you
couldn't decide which one to grow, so you just grew both of them?
Uh, the Fu Manchops.
You look ridiculous, and I have pictures to prove it.
So if you don't decide what you're going to be, I'm going to take a half -page
ad out in the newspaper, and I'm going to put that picture in it. I'll think
about it, okay? No, don't think about it.
Don't give yourself an out.
Come here.
Come here for something.
Just come here.
Hey, you know what?
You go ahead and run that picture. Because I look good, sister.
Where are you?
Where's daddy's little girl?
Daddy's coming to get you. Yes, I am.
And you wonder why she's hiding.
dig with her for like an hour. She is great at this game.
She's at school.
Morning,
sweetie. Morning.
Hey, what's this I hear about Elizabeth going to preschool?
Yeah, that's right. So the rumors are true?
Man, I told you about it on the phone last week. What probably happened was
of habit when he heard the word school he fell asleep.
happened was out of habit. I know you are, but what am I?
You just said you were going to check out some preschools. You didn't say you
were going to sign her up. Yes, I did.
Okay, I admit it. Sometimes when I'm talking to you, I put the phone down.
So from now on, do not say anything important unless you hear me breathing.
And don't say anything to me.
Well, let's just leave it at that.
he would have been put on this huge weight lift. Yeah, but what is this
Is it safe? Does it have rusty play equipment or slides or poison arsenic
-treated wood?
Arsenic wood? Uh -huh. I saw a report on the news.
Or I imagined it. But the point is, I don't like this.
Dan, you are just being difficult. Yes, I am. I'm only home for a little while,
and I don't get to see her enough as it is.
Besides, next thing you know, she'll be reading and writing and...
She'll never come back to the tribe.
Jake, I said one hour of TV a day.
One hour?
Can I make you desperate housewives?
I'm some sort of giant freak. That's what I am.
Hey, Reva. Can you talk? Yes. Wait.
No. Oh, I can't decide.
Frustrating, isn't it?
I thought about what you said, and I've decided to tell the practice.
Seriously? Yeah.
I called the guy this morning. He's sending over papers. Great!
When do I get my share of the money?
Soon. Soon.
You know, I thought about what you said and made a commitment, and everything
changed. I mean, I played great today.
I'm on top of the leaderboard. Great!
When do I get my share of the money?
Don't you want to hear about how I birdied the last three holes to grab a
of the lead? No. I want to hear about when I get my share of the money.
Okay, okay, I get it, I get it. I just want to say thanks, Reba. You are a
genius. No, I've never been tested, but thank you.
Well, you're welcome. I'm going to head to the driving range and work on my
interview skills.
No, I'm not the next Tiger Woods. Why, there's only one Tiger Woods.
I am pretty good.
Don't do that!
How does someone so big move so quiet?
I may be big, but I move like a cat.
So, uh, did, uh, did Brock tell you his decision?
Yes. But seriously, you're in heels.
You know, he said that you talked him into it.
You must be very proud of yourself.
Well, let's see. I've got Brock's life back on track, I'm gonna make some
and I've discovered some fantastic fat -free cookies.
I'd say my life's doing pretty good.
I'm, uh, really glad to hear that.
Because you ruined mine!
Talk about desperate housewife.
Okay, Barbara Jean, what's going on?
Oh, have you come to gloat?
To see how what you've done has sucked the life out of me?
Like taking the fat out of these cookies that sucked out the flavor?
What have I done?
Oh, no. I'm not going to get tricked into having a rational discussion with
You always win those.
I'm just going to stand here until my pain shames you into tears.
Behold the misery.
Behold me leaving.
Hey, Reba, get back here.
Okay, okay, okay, fine. You've suffered enough. We'll talk. What's going on,
Barbara Jean?
I thought you wanted Brock to make a choice. No.
I wanted him to quit playing golf. But you didn't say that. Well, of course I
didn't say that.
If he thinks I pushed him into giving up his dream, he would resent me for the
rest of his life.
That's why I manipulated you into confronting him.
Do not manipulate me. Oh, give yourself a shake, peaches.
The tiny check, the friendly banter.
I knew you'd fly off the handle, and it worked.
The puppet master had control of the puppet.
But there was just one thing I didn't count on. You are a bad puppet.
Look. I know at first none of us were thrilled about Brock's new career
Oh, it wasn't a career choice, Reba. It was an escape.
You know, we used to have a happy marriage.
Until one day he woke up and realized that wasn't enough for him.
Well, as long as he is still golfing, it means he's still searching.
And I can't feel secure again until he's committed to Henry and me.
Until we're enough to make him happy.
Thanks to you, that's never going to happen. Hey, that's not my fault.
that I was going to make him quit. I said I was going to try to get him to
a decision.
What's with the legalese?
It's not legalese.
It's the truth.
No, Reba, the truth is my marriage is probably over because you couldn't
I'm hooked on phonics.
Pushed his way out, and he was a beautiful butterfly.
Okay, everybody, let's follow Miss Jeannie out to the recess area.
Yay!
Van,
is this a place?
No.
Hi, Cheyenne.
Hi, Miss Lori. This is my husband, Van.
Thanks, Laura.
You know, we were going to decorate our room like this.
It's so nice to finally meet you. You know, Elizabeth talks about you all the
time. She always says, Daddy's away at Marina Football. It's so cute.
I play arena football. That's probably why she says that. She's just a kid. She
gets her words mixed up, you know.
Yeah, I got that.
We just wanted to come by so Van could feel more comfortable where Elizabeth is
while he's away. I'm glad you did. Here.
What's this?
Oh, Elizabeth threw it last week. It's Daddy on a Plane.
Maybe you can take it to Denver with you.
What was the assignment? Draw a picture that sticks a knife in Daddy's heart?
No, I believe it was Use Blue.
Could you give us for a minute?
Sure. You know, when the kids get emotional, I let them take a juice box
the refrigerator.
Thanks, Miss Laurie.
Ken, why are you acting all sad all of a sudden? I'm a terrible father,
Cheyenne. No, you're not. You're a great father.
I should be here. I should be sitting here watching her every day and enjoying
one of these delicious juice boxes.
But I'm not. I'm in Denver. You know why? Because I'm a selfish. I'm a
evil toad.
You... are in Denver. Yes, ma 'am, but it's because it's your job.
Yeah, my job is a selfish evil toad.
Honey, stop.
Even if you weren't in Denver, you wouldn't be here every day. You'd be at
other job you had around here. Oh, another job around here? Are they hiring
selfish evil toads?
Don't you...
realize that because you're gone a lot, the times that you are home are that
much more special to her?
She looks forward to it for days before you get here and talks about it for days
after you're gone.
You're like Christmas to her every week.
Am I Christmas?
Like Christmas and Halloween all combined with a little Fourth of July
there.
Sweetie, you could not be more special to her.
Thanks, Cheyenne. I love you so much. I love you, too.
You want to go in the supply room?
I hope this is okay, but Elizabeth wants you to come outside so all her friends
can meet her marina football daddy.
These used to have a pattern on them.
You just seem a little tense.
I've never been more relaxed.
Would you look at that?
The water must have softened it up.
Hey, Barbara Jean.
Kara, can you give us a minute, please?
Sure.
I'm not taking back anything I said, Reba. Barbara Jean. Okay, fine, I take
everything back.
at my life. How do you think I feel? I'm in it.
I can't stay mad at you. You know that.
My love for you is almost unnatural.
Everything about our relationship is unnatural.
What I came over to say was I'm sorry I didn't know what you actually wanted.
I called a lawyer. You can't sue me for being a bad puppet.
No.
A divorce lawyer.
What? Yeah, I almost called yours.
And I figured he could just white out your names on the form and type in mine.
But to be frank, I don't think he got you a very good deal.
Barbara Jean, I want you to listen to me.
Okay. I've said this to you many times.
But listen very clearly.
You are...
Yes, you are. No, it's over, Reba.
When he decided to go to that tournament today, it meant he's chosen to keep
searching for whatever it is he needs to find.
And I can't just sit around cracking plates hoping he'll come back.
Hey, guys, you will never believe what happened at my golf tournament.
Congratulations.
Guess what I did today?
Oh, hang on, Barbara Jean.
Let's hear about Brock's day.
So you won.
Yeah, yeah, I played the best round of golf in my life. I beat the second place
guy by six strokes.
Well, I hate to be the one to burst your bubble, but that doesn't guarantee that
you'll win the next time.
I realize that. And even if you do, so what?
Do you know what a winner is?
It's just the guy who lost the least. You ever think about that?
Well, here's something else.
Do you remember yesterday when I came over to your office all genius -y?
Well, I hate to admit it, but I'd had a couple of beers first.
But he's made his choice.
Has he?
And does he realize what that choice could cost him? Of course he doesn't.
All he ever thinks about is golf.
His little green mistress.
Well, you know what, Brock?
She can have you. You know, until one day you're driving to see her and a
bowling alley catches your eye.
Barbara Jean, I don't think you understand.
How fast you're running out of plates.
I'm done, honey.
I'm quitting golf.
What?
Yeah, you know, I realized today that I could be a professional golfer. But
what's it going to cost me and the people I love? I mean, you take a look
what's happening in Van, living over in Denver.
As great as that is for him, all he talks about is how much he misses his
family.
Don't play me, Blondie.
I am ready to blow.
Honey, honey, honey.
Winning today put me in a place where I could clearly see what I wanted, what's
important to me.
And it's you.
And it's working on fixing our family.
Yes.
Reba, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be selling my practice.
Ah, that's okay.
With my 50%, I'll be catching up pretty quick.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Reba, Reba. Hey, she only got 20%. Oh, no. Not
after I talk to my lawyer.
Word around town is I got a pretty bad deal.
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