Original subtitles

Mom here? Yeah, you're in the kitchen.

Who got your nose?

Who got it? That's a good way to make your kid feel safe. Tell her parts of

body can get yanked off.

Hey there, neighbor.

How's school?

It was like work, but without the money.

I got news for you. So's work.

So what brings you around?

Well, I was on my way home to Dad's, but then I remembered.

Dad's there.

Dad in his third degree.

Where were you? Who were you with? What were you doing?

Oh, man, you'd think he's your father.

Then Barbara Jeans really starts.

Where were you really? Who were you really with? How does the CD player

work?

Maybe she's just naturally inquisitive. You know, like a chimp.

Look, they're just a little on edge right now.

Your father trying to sell his practice and trying to get this golf thing going.

Well, I wish they would stop.

I can't keep hanging out at the library.

I'm getting a bad reputation.

You want me to talk to them about it?

Ah, they wouldn't listen. They might.

I'll bring them some bananas.

Hey! My lips are planted in the past Though my life is changing fast

Who I am and who I want to be A single mom who works too

hard Who loves her kids and never stops With gentle hands and a heart

What happened to me today?

What? I got asked to appear on The Huddle, the teen's cable TV show.

Oh, you mean that goofy thing on, like, Channel 2000?

It's Channel 200.

And it's not goofy. It's very prestigious. And I'm the only rookie

asked to appear on it. Oh, hey, look at you, Mr. Big Shot.

It's because you've been playing so well.

And because you're hot.

No.

Well, I mean, yeah, but that's not the only reason.

The team is starting this big marketing campaign to have more families come to

games, and I'm one of the few players with the family.

We are so lucky we got pregnant in high school.

I haven't even told you the coolest part yet. What? They asked me to have you

come on the show.

Cheyenne, we're both going to be on a TV show.

Oh, God.

I am going to get you so ready for that TV show.

I can't do this. Look, we're just talking about it and I feel like I'm

throw up.

They say if you're nervous, you should picture the people in their underwear.

I don't recommend it.

I always lose my train of thought when I do that.

Yes, sorry.

Believe me, the best thing to do when you're nervous is to talk slowly.

You should talk so slowly, you think it sounds weird.

Okay.

Why do I have to be there, okay? I'm not on the team. I'm just your hot wife.

They're just supposed to show me up in the stands looking nervous when you get

hurt.

Giant,

I can't believe you don't want to do this. I mean, you love having people

at you. Yeah, Van, look at me. Not ask me questions, okay?

I was on the drill team, not the debate club. Okay.

Hey, how's rehearsal going? Great. Great.

Go ahead, Barbara Jean. Okay.

Ask me a question. All right.

So, Van, how do you balance your career with your family life?

After all, you have a fairly large extended family, don't you?

Well... Not yet.

Father -in -law is remarried.

Talk about a new wife.

Can I take a crack at that one?

Okay, okay, all right.

Cheyenne's turn.

Cheyenne, how has your life changed since Van Term Pro?

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, Barbara Jean, you don't ask a pretty blonde hard questions. You just admire

them.

Speaking of pretty blondes, where's Brock?

Upstairs. Brock!

Oh, wow, Barbara Jean, you got a new wall fairy?

Well, I had to.

Everybody knows fairies hang out in threes.

Gee, Barbara Jean, when you yell like that, you sound just like... Hey,

Reba.

But you sure do scoop when you're called for, huh?

So what's up?

Ah, nothing. I was just at work today, and Eugene was talking about you selling

your practice.

He was saying that it must be kind of a tense time for you.

Yeah, well, you can tell Weasel Boy to mind his own business.

Oh, I did.

But not before I made a bet with him that even if things are tense, that you

aren't giving Kira a hard time.

You aren't, right?

Okay. What is this really about?

You are inquisitive, aren't you?

Shoot, I meant to bring you a banana.

Okay, wait a second.

What happened? Did Kira complain about something?

No, Kira wasn't complaining.

Well, then why'd you come over here like there's some big problem to solve?

Didn't say problem.

Good. Because there's not. The only problem is if we let Kira play us

each other. Right.

And every time Kira says boo, you can't rush over here to make sure we're good

parents. Didn't rush.

You're the one who said it's important that we present a united front, Reba. I

know. I know.

Man, I wish I'd have brought a banana.

If I ran church, I'd have food there.

Candy and hamburgers.

You'd probably have a big church.

And soda. And I'd have TVs all over the place. And video games. And it would

only be five minutes.

why you said you'd run school.

That's the way I'd run everything.

Hey, wait up. We're going, too.

Cheyenne and Elizabeth are getting dressed.

You're going to church?

Wait a minute. What'd you do wrong?

Nothing. Church is just a good family thing to do.

Oh, this is for that show thing he's going on.

Show? What show?

Oh, right.

That TV thing. Jake, go grab the camera. Mrs. H, I want you to take some

pictures of us praying.

Because you've got plenty to confess, sister.

If you don't change your tone, that might be true.

Dang it, Reba. We're not supposed to let her play us against each other.

Family, can't all this ugliness wait until after we worship the Lord?

Brock, what are you babbling about?

Kira and our united front. It undermines our authority if you let her do things

like this. Things like what?

She can't come over here in the middle of the night just because I yelled at

her. What?

Kara's not here.

Okay, everybody just calm down. Are you sure she's not at your house? Oh, my

God.

Calm down, calm down, calm down. Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh.

No, Reba, she's not at our house. Maybe she got up early and went to a friend's.

Reba, I've been up since five. She had to have left in the middle of the night.

What about her boyfriend, huh?

That Scott kid. I will kill that kid.

All right, what's his home number? What if they ran away to Vegas?

Who knows Scott's home phone number?

555 -0165. That's it. Call it.

555 -0165.

Gosh, come here, honey.

Oh, you are in big trouble. Oh, my sweet baby.

It's busy. I'm going to keep calling.

I'm sorry, okay? I came in when everybody was asleep and slept in my old

Without telling anyone, do you have any idea how scared we all were?

You little knuckle bunny.

Thanks for making me sweat right through my church clothes.

I'll come here anyway.

Church clothes?

I jumped over a fire hydrant in my jammies.

Okay, Kira.

Funny joke.

Now here's what you won. You are grounded.

You are big time, super sized, new and improved, grounded.

When you come home from school, you go to your room. When you leave your room,

you go to school. That's it.

That's not fair.

This wasn't fair.

Now you go home.

You see, Reba, this is what I was trying to explain to you the other day.

She's just doing this to make us look like bad parents. But we are not bad

parents. In fact, we are really good parents. And despite how this little

makes it look, we are totally on top of things.

Yeah.

Where's Henry?

Come on, Jake. We've got two more people to pray for.

It doesn't match my clothes, Van. Let's go. No, come on.

There's nothing to it. You're going to do fine. Just remember what Barbara Jean

said.

Talk. It doesn't matter how I talk because I'm not going to talk.

Slow.

Cheyenne.

Free donuts.

Run.

There's that rising star.

It is an honor to meet you, sir.

This is my wife, Cheyenne.

Cheyenne, it's nice to meet you.

Now, can I get you anything before we get started?

Scotch.

Think we've got enough snacks for the Van and Cheyenne show?

Yep. Man, they are so lucky.

Don't you think it would be cool to be on a TV show?

A TV show?

Nah.

I think it'd be cool to be a singer.

I'll take all that in the living room, and I'll bring the drinks.

Hey, Mom.

Hey, you here to see the big show?

Wait a minute. Aren't you supposed to go directly home after school?

I'll just tell Colonel Clink I took the scenic route.

Sorry,

Sheriff, but I'm with Colonel Clink on this one.

You scared the heck out of us the other night.

If you'd have woke me up when you got here, things would be different.

But you handled this all wrong.

I know, and I said I was sorry.

You know, the thing that kills me is that you did it knowing you'd get

Deliberately. No, I didn't.

Oh, come on, Carrie. You're not stupid.

You knew when they found out that your father and Sergeant Schultz would freak.

I planned on waking up early and going back before they got up. Yeah, right.

Like I did the other time.

What? Forget it. I'll just go home. No, no, no, no, no. Sit down.

Are you saying that you've come over in the middle of the night before?

Yeah, okay?

I have.

Sometimes I just can't take the fighting and I need to get out of there.

What are you saying?

That they fight with you so much that you feel like you have to run away?

Honey, is that what's happening?

No.

They fight with each other.

Oh.

I just can't stand listening to it.

It was 2 o 'clock in the morning and they were still yelling in their room.

I just had to get out of there.

Okay, when they come out of the theme music, they're going to cue me.

And it's our ball to run with.

How are you feeling, Cheyenne? You a little nervous?

That's me on the monitor.

Oh, my God.

Well, I look...

I look great.

Ben, Ben, check it out. Look how goofy your head looks.

I look great.

Ben,

honey, honey.

You okay, buddy boy?

Welcome to the huddle.

My very special guest today is rookie standout linebacker and tight end, Van

Montgomery.

Welcome, number 88.

Hello.

We're also very excited to have Van's lovely wife here with us today,

Oh, hello, Nick. It's great to be here with you.

And with all you wonderful Houston fans.

Go Thunder Bears.

All right.

Yeah.

You know something? You're the first player's wife we've had on this show.

I guess that makes me a rookie tunic.

So, Van, I know a lot of our viewers with families are just.

Wondering how you managed to balance the responsibilities of professional

athlete and father. Yeah.

Yeah.

I got her pregnant. I play football.

Well, Nick, Van is actually incredible at both jobs. He gives it all he

has on the playing field and all he has at home. You know, even after a tough

practice, he still comes home and reads Elizabeth her bedtime stories.

Is that true, Ben?

Why don't we take a phone call?

Okay.

You're on the air with rookie sensation number 88, Van Montgomery.

It's so nice to see a player who's a nice family man.

Cheyenne, I love your hair.

Where do you get it cut?

That is so sweet.

Actually, I get it cut at Salon Verona on Fair Oak.

Well, now that you've given them a plug, I'm sure they'll cut it for free.

Really?

Well, in that case, I buy all of my clothes at Donna's Outlet on Oak.

I got her pregnant.

Back to the phones.

You're in the huddle with Van and Cheyenne Montgomery.

I mean, he has a beautiful wife. You're so supportive of him.

Well, makeup, I'm blushing.

Well, you shouldn't be. That guy was right on the mark. Oh, Nick, thank you.

Let's take another call. Okay.

You're on the air with Cheyenne Montgomery.

Let's go ahead and save that one for Oprah, lady.

So, Van, you sure seem like a guy who just has it all. I mean, you have a

beautiful wife, wonderful child.

Tell us all what it's like to be a guy who's on top of the world.

If you didn't, I taped it.

Yeah, I saw that.

Good job on coaching them.

Unbelievable. Kira's 15 minutes late. You know what that means? No TV for the

rest of the week.

Well, that's great.

Then she can just sit in the kitchen and stare at me.

Actually, she's over at my house.

What?

She's not supposed to go anywhere after school. She's grounded.

I know that, Brock.

Maybe we ought to talk about that.

About you undermining our authority?

Neato, let's do talk about that.

Look, what Kira did the other night was wrong. We all get that. Kira gets that.

But maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing if she had some place to go to to chill

out. Oh, boy.

How mad would you have been if I'd suggested something like that when she

living with you?

Touché. But the point is, she's over at my house.

No, Reba.

No, I don't think it's a good idea. Now, would you please go ask Kira to come

home? Pronto.

Yeah, you're not the only one who speaks French.

I don't think I'm willing to do that.

At least not until we talk about this.

We have talked about it. What is going on? What is she telling you?

I really can't say.

Why not?

Because she... Just because.

Well, gee, I thought you wanted to talk, Reba.

Touché back at you.

She says that you guys yell at each other.

Barbara Jean, I'm not trying to get in your business here. Well, that's not

true. The biggest argument we have is who loves the other one more.

I win.

Barbara Jean.

No, we don't yell.

It's okay. We don't yell!

I think it's hard for her to listen to.

Maybe because you know how it was in the end between Brock and me.

Well, it's not like that with us, Reba.

It's always funny when we yell.

Yeah, we sure have been laughing a lot around here lately.

I just want my daughter to feel safe. And she does feel safe.

Why are we even talking about this?

Barbara Jean, if she's feeling like she felt the other night and can't come to

my house, she's going to go somewhere.

And I don't think I'm going to let that happen.

So what are we saying here, Reba?

I'm going to tell her that she's allowed to come to my house when she needs to,

as long as she tells you. Fine.

Because she won't need to.

I mean, she's just making a mountain out of a molehill. Now, if you'll excuse

me, I have to go check on the pot roast.

It's Kira's favorite, you know, although I bet she tells you she hates it.

You always think the kids don't hear it, you know? Yeah.

Well, tell her it's fine with me.

Okay.

By the way, she really does hate pot roast.

Yeah, me too.