Original subtitles

Hey, remember when I said we could save money for Kira's college fund by growing

our own food? Uh -huh. Well, crops are in.

Well, that is amazing.

You spent months planting and weeding and fertilizing, and next thing you

you've almost got a carrot.

Good morning, neighbors.

So, Kira, are you ready to hit the mall? Yeah, but before we go, I need you to

sign this permission slip for a school field trip. Sure.

This is to get your navel pierced.

Cool. I thought we were going to the science center.

All right.

Man, I got to start reading those things.

Okay, I'm going to go up and change, then we'll go. Why don't you just wear

that?

My old gardening shirt?

Oh, shoot.

I've patched this thing a hundred times.

I only wear it to scare the crows away.

I never thought I'd say this, but what you're wearing is actually cool.

Wait.

Are you saying I'm cool?

I'm saying your shirt is cool.

Kira's right.

Patrick is the new silk.

I want to be cool.

I wish I'd save my old rags and patch them onto a shirt.

I'll give you $20 for that shirt.

Oh, don't be ridiculous, Barbara Jean. I'm not going to sell you the shirt off

my back.

Okay, I get it.

$30. No way. $40. $60. $65. Sold. Yeah!

Bye. Bye.

Bye.

I bet you're in a good mood. I got you a fudge -covered apple.

Wow.

This looks like an apology apple.

What'd you do?

Nothing.

Yet. Hey, you know how when we're going somewhere and you get all mad because

you're waiting for me because I'm doing my hair?

Well, those days are over.

Because all the guys in the football team are shaving their heads.

Do you want to shave your head? If that's what it takes to make you happy.

Forget it, Van. You know how I freaked when you got that perm? Which... We

talk about the perm.

Look, it's for work. And if I don't do it because my wife won't let me, all the

guys will make fun of me. This isn't like high school taunting, okay? They're

pro football players. They're clever.

Mom, Van wants to shave his head.

For business purposes.

Why don't you practice by mowing the lawn?

I absolutely forbid you to do this. End of discussion.

But all the guys are doing it. I can't be the only one with soft, wavy brown

hair.

Well, whatever you do, don't get another one of those perms.

So, Reba, I got good news. What? Brock came to his senses about quitting his

to play golf?

I have not come to my senses, Reba, and I never will.

So, you remember that shirt that you sold me? No refund.

No, I showed it to a friend who took it to a guy that he works with, and he said

that he thinks he could sell those shirts.

We're going to be rich. Sure, we're going to be rich. And Brock's going to

Tiger Woods at the Fat Chance Desert Classic.

Reba, I'm serious. We should do this.

You know, a lot of people make money selling things they make. And a lot of

people lose money by selling things they make. Yeah, but you don't hear about

those people.

Well, maybe you got a point.

Maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones.

So, um, you don't mind if I kind of take this and run with it?

Hmm. Barbara Jean, you can run with this idea. You can run with scissors.

You can run with the bad crowd, just so long as you run.

Because everyone else is?

Gee.

It's okay to do something just because everyone else is doing it?

Yeah.

To be cool.

Thanks.

Hey, Tiki, where are you going?

Graveyard.

Hi, honey.

You look really pretty.

I know, but you're still not shaving your head. Why do we always have to

about stuff, huh?

I mean, I think the world would be a better place if people with opposing

would just agree.

Oh, very mature. Listen, what I'm trying to say is... Cut it out.

Ah,

the round table.

Kira, don't you think Bam would look stupid if you shaved his head?

Yes, but are we going to list all the ways that he would look stupid? Because

I've only got a few years until college.

Everybody's doing it to show unity, all right?

To show we're all on the same team.

Oh, jeez.

If only there were a way to do that with matching jerseys.

I can't talk to you.

Van, do you mind if I speak for you?

Yeah.

No.

I don't know. What?

Van's trying to say that playing on a team involves complex group dynamics,

seemingly self -destructive acts are actually initiation rites that foster

camaraderie. Did I just say that?

Look, I know it's dumb. So what? It was dumb when my high school team dressed in

drag on game days. You didn't say anything about that then.

Huh. That's the first time I heard those were game days.

Look, this is important to me, okay? Right now, I'm the new guy.

Rookie. I just want to feel like I belong.

But I don't want you to do it. Why not? Just because.

Well, that's not good enough. Well, it used to be.

You don't even care what I think. You just want me to agree with the decision

that you've already made.

Yes. Thank you for understanding.

You know what?

Do whatever you want. I don't care.

You are the prettiest on game days.

I thought so, too.

Good news, Reba.

I shot a two under par.

I hit a seven iron on 18 tap -in for birdies. Oh, that's terrific, Brock.

Go in the kitchen and get yourself a cookie.

Oh, good, Brock, you're here.

I have excellent news.

Can it top how Brock killed seven birdies with his 18 wood?

Well, good job, honey.

And I bet you're going to be proud of me, too.

So much he ordered a hundred of them to sell in stores all over town.

This is just a deposit.

That's great, honey. Isn't that great, Reba? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And he said that this is just the first order. He said that he

see all of Houston wearing these shirts. And after that, all of Texas.

And after that, he didn't say.

But if he did, I bet he would have said America.

Wow. This is just like me with golf. Yeah.

Except I got a big fat check.

No, I meant you have a lot of potential. Oh, I do.

And I have a big fat check.

Wow, this is something.

So that guy said that my shirts could sell like that?

Well, you know, he didn't mention you, but yes.

Wow, that's great.

So fork over my $150.

Why would I do that?

Because it's my shirt.

My design is the hip new thing.

Who knew?

Well, not you.

It wasn't so much your design he bought as my salesmanship.

Oh, well, does he want a hundred of your salesmanship or a hundred of my design?

You know, the way I see it, you guys did this together.

We really did it.

I recognized the potential of the shirt, and Reba didn't want any part of it.

She told me to run with it, and I did.

Me, not her.

Right, but it was my shirt.

Yeah, which I bought, which would make it my shirt.

I bought a greeting card once. That doesn't make me Hallmark.

Well, I bought a lollipop once.

Doesn't make me a sucker.

This is my idea, my business, my company, and my money.

Your idea, my design.

Your business, my design. Do you get where I'm going with this? Hey, hey,

hey, hey.

Why don't you guys just share?

Get her chance.

Oh, come on, Barbara Jean.

It was Reba's design.

It's only fair that she gets half.

Now, you remember what your mother taught you.

Don't shape above the knee unless you're expecting company.

No, the other thing.

fine, but if she gets half the money, she does half the work.

Well, of course I will.

I've been looking for a way to get some cash for Kears College Fund.

Apparently, I'll do anything.

Fine.

You win.

We'll work together, but I'll call the shots.

If you hear any shots, they're coming from me.

but if we do three shirts a night, we're still ahead of schedule.

What's that?

The stink of mediocrity?

Okay, moving forward.

I have cut up a bunch of fabric for patches, so why don't you make a

for us to work from?

What about the shirt I already made?

It was left with the buyer.

What?

Why would you do that?

Management made a decision. We're just going to have to live with it.

Go back and get the shirt and we'll start again tomorrow.

And lose a whole day?

Unacceptable!

We've got shirts, we've got patches, do that thing you do!

If you don't lower your voice, I'm going to do that thing I've always wanted to

do.

Reba, I knew you were going to ruin this for me.

Ruin what?

Barbara Jean, quit being so testy.

I am not testy.

I am a serious businesswoman.

Gladden, this company can afford a psychiatrist.

Hey, Cheyenne, what's doing?

Making a list of insulting names to call Van when he gets back from shaving his

head. You know, I can't believe he's doing that after I absolutely positively

told him not to.

Oh, my gosh.

This is the first husband who's ever had a problem with a direct order.

Did you happen to tell him why you didn't want him to do it?

No. Huh. We may be on to something.

Look, I can ask you what's wrong, and eventually you'll tell me. Then I'll go

Van and tell him. Then he'll tell me his side of the story, and I'll just get

you two to work it out. But you know what?

I still got dinner to make, so go talk to him. Yeah, but Van doesn't have a

side, Mom.

Of course he does. That's what marriage is, finding out each other's side.

Go talk to him. All right, I get it. It's just I... Go talk to him.

I just feel like I'm married.

You know, you can be very annoying sometimes, Mother.

The kid has a point. Ah, shut up.

What's it going to be?

Shave it.

Bet you hear this a lot.

My old lady doesn't want me to do it.

But, I mean, it's my head.

It should be my decision.

I just hate when she's mad at me.

I don't know. I don't know.

What do you think?

Okay.

Okay, let's do it.

Could you give us a minute, please?

Sure.

I'll go see if that stripey thing is turning.

What is it, Cheyenne?

I'm kind of in the middle of something here.

Whoa.

That feels weird.

Do this and then do this.

I should, um, tell you why I didn't want you to do this instead of just ordering

you around.

Well, I think that... Let me finish.

I didn't want you to do this because it made me feel left out.

Oh, sure.

You want to shave your head, too?

I felt left out because, you know, you have this job and it's taking up all

these areas of your life and now it's taking your hair.

But this doesn't mean anything. This is something I have to do for my job. It's

similar to how some people have to take certain tests to get a job. Like when a

bartender has to pass the bar.

Look, it used to be just you and me.

Now you have this whole other life, and I'm not even a part of it. Hey, I tried

to make you a part of it.

I mean, I came to you two times.

I mean, I wanted your support. I wanted you to be here with me because I'm doing

this for you and Elizabeth.

I'm doing this for our future.

I mean, do you think I really want to look like the mayor of Munchkinland?

Look, I'm sorry, Van. It's just...

This is the only van I've ever known.

Look, look.

If you don't want me to finish, I guess I don't have to.

I mean, yeah.

I'm pretty sure we can afford a very narrow toupee.

So what's it going to be?

Okay. Jake. Place in bed.

How's your head?

Are you sane yet?

No. I feel like a failure.

We failed.

I didn't fail. I ain't started yet.

Oh, Jean.

Calm down.

We got plenty of time.

No, we don't. We don't know how much time we have.

Sure we do.

The shirts aren't due till next Friday.

Reba, open your eyes.

I'm not talking about the shirts.

about Brock.

He's selling the practice.

He wants to play pro golf.

I don't think he knows what he's doing.

Oh, honey.

Is that what you're worried about?

Of course he doesn't know what he's doing.

He's making all these changes, Reba.

What if the next change he wants to make is me?

Oh, that's not going to happen.

Well, you'll forgive me if I don't find much comfort in the assurances of his ex

-wife.

If the worst does happen, Reba, I just need to know that I can be something

other than Brock's wife.

But apparently, I can't.

I can't even be the crazy lady that makes shirts.

Barbara Jean, he loves you.

Reba, he loved you, too.

The man's a pig.

and he finally agrees on something.

Barb Jean, look at me.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Brock isn't going anywhere.

He loves you. He's crazy about you. Okay?

Thank you. You're welcome.

Let's see what you got going here.

Barb Jean, I gotta look at it sometime.

Bon.

have to remember why you did it, to be like one of the guys.

Well, see, the other guys didn't do it.

What? Yeah, they tricked me.

They're mean. Hold me.

Oh, honey.

Jenny Garth, isn't it? It's an all -new What I Like About You.