Original subtitles

When is Cheyenne going to get home?

I'm dying to know how she did on the test.

I need to wash these windows.

Mom, don't get your hopes up. Cheyenne's taking a college exam, not just

guessing which hand the candy is in.

Besides, what's the big deal if she fails? Maybe she's not cut out to be a

dentist. I'll tell you what the big deal is. No matter how old you kids are, I

still want to protect you.

Shoot, if I thought you could still breathe, I'd bubble wrap you.

Hey, have you heard from Cheyenne?

Do I look like I've heard from Cheyenne?

If I had, I'd go, uh, or, not, uh.

I have been sending Cheyenne good thoughts all day.

For her and Sting.

I love Sting.

Hey, Barbara Jean, guess which hand. Oh, I'm not going to fall for that.

You never have any candy.

Left.

Where is she? This can't be good.

Reba, relax. I'm sure she did just fine.

And so what if she didn't? Heck, I flunked my first three pre -med exams

barely squeaked by on my fourth.

You must be so proud.

Now, Brock Cheyenne's taking a big risk here.

She's dreaming of being a dentist.

I remember how crushed I was when I wasn't perky enough for the price is

Someday, Bob Barker.

This is so nerve -wracking. I mean, I let my little birdie leave the nest, and

now she's out there flying around on a world full of plate glass windows. Here

she comes.

Hey, little birdie, how'd it go?

Oh, honey.

Oh, you know what? I squeaked by on my fourth try, and I'm sure you will, too.

Gotcha!

I've got to think it was the studying.

We have to celebrate. I am taking everybody out to dinner. I'm even

for lobster.

But only for Cheyenne.

Honey, I am so proud of you.

You picked a really tough career, and so far you're doing great. Thank you, but

you deserve a lot of the credit, Mom.

Even though I said at first you shouldn't do it? Yeah, because it was

you did believe in me, I knew I could do it.

I'm pretty sure I believed in you right from the beginning.

I'm pretty sure we're not talking about you.

I believed in you.

I believe you can do anything you set your mind to.

You and Sting.

You know, I have to say, it seems like you two are really growing up and making

some solid decisions.

Guess what, everybody?

I'm quitting school.

I want you to divorce him.

Go get me a switch.

Mrs. H, I'm not quitting just to do nothing. I got a tryout with Arena

Oh, my gosh.

I'm going to be a dentist, and you're going to be a pro football player?

We're going to be a power couple, honey.

Man, that is so awesome. Excuse me, honey.

This could be your stepping stone to the NFL, and I want you to remember, I've

always believed in you and your ability to get me seats on the 50 -yard line.

football. Yeah, I know, I know, but the scallops isn't practically a lock. And

get this, I could make 60 G's a year.

$60 ,000?

Yeah!

We're gonna be rich!

Hey, 50 yard line seats and a parking pass.

$60 ,000 phones a year to do what you love?

Okay, this just in.

I just don't think it's a good idea.

Oh.

So, are you saying I shouldn't do it?

No, I just think it's a bad idea, but you do what you think's best.

So, who wants pie?

Jim, that is not fair.

She can't say it's a bad idea and then offer me pie.

and it was his decision. That's a big step for me.

Mom, he's not going to try out because he knows and thinks it's a bad idea.

Well, that's another thing you can thank me for one day.

And what a busy day that's going to be.

Okay, I'm off to school.

Another day, another zero dollars.

I hate to sound preachy, but stay in school. Don't do drugs.

saying is colleges are full of people who thought college was going to get

somewhere. And where are they?

In college.

Think about it.

Mom, this isn't like all of our other decisions.

Van really thought this one out.

Oh, I'm sure he's got 60 ,000 reasons.

He just cares about the blink blink.

It's bling bling, Mom.

is what I do when Dad tells another one of his golf stories.

Whatever. I just don't think Van realizes what he's given up.

Honestly, Mom, Van's not that into school.

You know, he's only there to play football.

Okay, what if he gets hurt?

He's not going to have an education to fall back on.

Mom, even if Van played for just one year, it would give us enough money that

could go back to school anytime he wanted to.

And it would pay for my dental school, and we could start a college fund for

Elizabeth.

Okay.

I'm going to need a little time to find the flaws in this argument, so until

then, let's just slide them aside and pretend they don't count.

Anything else?

Mom, I think Van and I are finally putting things together.

You know, and if you look past the whole teen pregnancy thing, we've made a lot

of really good choices.

Okay, fine, but if I find out that Kira taught you how to argue with me, you're

all in trouble.

Van, would you come in here, please?

Did you call me?

Because I was thinking about getting a haircut. You might want to kill that

dream.

Listen, I realize that I might have been a little quick to judge.

So if you really want to try out for the arena football, you have my blessings.

What's your game, lady?

No game. Cheyenne just convinced me that there's another way of looking at this.

And maybe I was looking at it in a negative way.

But it's just that I was trying to protect you guys.

So you still think it's a bad idea?

Who knows?

Maybe it's a great start for you and a great career.

I mean, it could go from arena football to the NFL, and you could take the

Cowboys to the Super Bowl.

I mean, this tryout could set you up for the rest of your life.

You really think I could do it?

I really do.

Well, thanks, Mrs. H. You have no idea what this means to me.

I'm going to go get started. on the rest of my life.

Darn.

Okay, Mom, I'm heading home. And I'll be at Tommy's. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Did you finish your homework?

Nope, and I'm never doing homework again.

Kira said I can drop out of school like that.

Kira?

Well, he's going to eventually. I mean, you've talked to the boy.

Don't you think he's peaked?

Jake, go upstairs.

Kira will help you with your homework.

Oh, man.

Well, we'll start with subtraction. What is my life minus two hours?

You know, I taught her how to read, too.

You know what I taught you?

Shut up, Kara.

Have you heard from Diane?

No, but I know he's going to make the team.

Last night, we had one of our good luck fights.

For a couple of minutes, I couldn't even stand him.

You're an odd young couple.

Mom, he has guts. to make the team. I've already imagined how awesome our life

will be.

I can't go back to how it was before.

You mean this morning? Yeah.

He's not back yet. Oh, good.

We wanted to be here for the good news.

Now, remember, everybody, this is a big moment in Van's life.

Of course, that doesn't mean we can't horn in on it.

Hey. Hi.

Honey, how did it go?

I can tell you how it went, or you can read about it in Van's Stinks magazine.

Well, at least you got your own magazine.

Wait a minute. You're doing the same thing that Cheyenne did to us. Come on.

Come on. Say it. Gotcha.

I made it. Come on. You dog.

Go on and yell at Van. Yell. Gotcha.

Honey.

Van.

Gotcha.

I'm going to be upstairs taking a long look in the mirror.

That myself.

He just won't quit. I know he's messing with us.

No, he's not. Who wants pie?

Hey, honey, how's Van? Any better?

is good enough to make that team.

He's fantastic under pressure.

Did he say what happened? He just said he keeps on thinking about what Mom

You know how this is his big chance.

Oh, Reba.

You sent Van off thinking?

Thinking is highly overrated.

Yeah, well, now it all makes sense.

No, an athlete can't be thinking. He's got to go on instinct.

It's like golf. You know, the other day I was on this par five, okay?

Second shot, 240 yards over water to the green.

And I kept thinking that my five wood wasn't going to be enough. And sure

enough, I hit it right in the water.

Double bogey.

What's your point, Brock?

No point, Reba.

Can't I just get a bad day off my chest?

Awful? I didn't mean to put pressure on Van. I was trying to be supportive.

I mean, it worked when I did it with Cheyenne's test.

You know what?

Now that I think about it, I did feel a little more nervous.

Who knows?

You might have cost me an A.

Why don't we just give Van another tryout?

We can tell the coach he just cracked under pressure.

Sure.

Coaches love that in a player, right after a slow and throws like a girl.

Is there any reason someone could get another tryout? I don't know, maybe.

I guess if they were sick or something.

Then he's thick. Oh, broken leg.

Barbara Jean, the coach saw him.

If he had broken his leg, he'd be wearing a cast.

Right, no cast.

Oh, I got it.

Then he'd be in a wheelchair.

I'll think of something on my way over there.

Hey, boo, where are you going? Shouldn't Van go?

Van go.

Van go!

Tell the coach he cut his ear off.

Come in.

Hi there, I'm Reba Hart.

Well, if you're here for the...

A cheerleader.

Anyway, I'm looking for the coach who held the football tryouts this

That would be me.

Oh. Coach Klaas. Nice to meet you.

No, I want to talk to you about my son -in -law who tried out today but didn't

make it.

Oh, please, don't be one of those.

One of those what?

One of those mothers or fathers or whoever who call me when somebody

make the team.

Nobody believes their all -star just isn't good enough.

Oh, that must be terrible.

But in my case, it's true.

Why is that? Because your family's perfect and nobody could possibly fail?

Bobby was nervous. Bobby was sick. Well, you know what?

Sometimes Bobby just stinks.

Well, he doesn't stink.

He probably plays better than anybody else on your stinking team.

Sure he does.

What would a football coach know about a good player? You know what they say. If

you want to know if a guy can play, ask his mother -in -law.

You know what?

I'm glad Van didn't make the team, because that would mean I'd have to see

arrogant, judgmental coach low class like you again.

Van, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're Van Montgomery's mother -in -law? Yeah.

He didn't show up for his triad.

He what?

I figured he was sick or something.

Until you came down here and started screaming at me.

Gotcha!

Oh, you thought I was all rude and crazy for real?

here to reschedule the tryout because of what you said, that he was sick and

all. What happened to him?

Oh, well, the doctor thought he might have had a broken leg or cut off his

but he's played through worse.

Okay. Look, I'd be happy to give him another tryout. We've heard good things

about him. Oh, great.

Okay. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Yeah.

Bye.

Hey!

You sure you're not a cheerleader?

Would you stop?

What is it, hon? Because for the tenth time, if something's bothering you, I'd

be glad to talk.

Oh, no.

I'm okay. I think I'm getting over it. All right.

Hey, Mrs. Beach.

Where were you? Oh, I was down visiting with Coach Clash. I gotta go.

Get in the back here.

What's going on?

Van didn't go to the tryout.

Van, is that true?

Maybe.

Maybe? Yeah.

You mean you lied to us and you made us feel terrible for you and you didn't

even go?

I know, I know.

If I were a guy like me, I'd hate myself.

And I am. So I do.

Trust me, that coach has great taste.

I couldn't take the pressure.

If you didn't make it? If I did, you said this would set us up for life.

Life. Man, I was being encouraging. You were being terrifying.

Suddenly it hit me.

If I made the team, I'd have a career.

Do you know what that would make me?

An adult.

Are you in the room for the part where your wife had a baby?

Listen, I know we're parents, but still, we didn't have to grow up so fast.

You were always more parentee.

Parentish?

Parentilius.

If I have a career, then we have to go out on our own.

And if I blow it, then my entire family suffers.

At this age, I don't think I'm ready to be the man of the house.

I like it when you're the man of the house.

So you want me to cook and clean and take care of you for the rest of your

And I'd be very grateful.

Man, you're using me as your crutch. Now this has got to stop.

What do you mean?

You can't take away a man's crutch.

You have to make your own decisions without my opinion.

And if you fail, you fail.

You deal with it.

Now, I got you another tryout. And whether you use it or not, that's up to

Wait, wait, wait.

You asked the coach to give me another tryout.

Oh, man, now he's going to think I'm some mama's boy in law.

No comment.

Fly away, little birdies.

Good luck, world.

So

I

guess you're mad at me, too.

What, that you're scared of growing up? Uh, I know the feeling.

Van, you're not alone out there, okay?

Whatever happens, happens to us.

You know, we're a team.

And I got news for you. You do not have to be the man of the house. We both will

be.

We succeed together and we fail together.

You mean it?

So do we think I should try out for the team?

Yeah, we do.

Okay. And hey, if I don't make the team, it doesn't matter because you're still

going to become a dentist.

Trying to put all the pressure on me?

Just make the team. Okay.

And just think of it this way. If everything else goes wrong, we can

with Mom for the rest of our lives.

If you're nervous about Vance trying, I'd be more than happy to talk.

No, no, it's okay. I'm fine.

Not really nervous nervous anyway, you know. I'm just more like, hmm, I wonder

if he made it nervous.