Original subtitles

time to bake since her chick left the nest.

Look who's not getting a muffin.

Hey, honey, you want one?

Uh, no time. I left a library book upstairs. It's due today. Bye. Oh, well,

a minute. We haven't talked all week.

Can't you spare five minutes? What would five minutes really do, Mom?

Wouldn't that just leave us wanting more?

Barbecue, I'm going to Jenny's after the library. Bye.

Don't you want to hear about my day?

about your day.

Here's the headline.

Giant blonde attacks muffin factory. Cute redhead saves the day.

And since when is Kira and Jenny talking? I thought they were fighting.

anymore. See, Kira sat with Macy at lunch, so Jenny thought Kira was stuck

But then Kira sat with Jenny again, so Jenny and Kira made up.

Any questions?

Yeah. Since when are you in the ninth grade?

I'm very plugged in with the kids, Reba.

And, you know, it's only natural that you've fallen out of touch with Karis

since she moved out.

I am not out of touch with my daughter.

It's just that she doesn't live here, and we don't always talk as much as we

And you don't live here either, by the way.

Reba, let me give you the benefit of my parenting experience.

I tried talking to Kira, but all I ever got were angry looks.

Yes, just like that.

But I have learned there are other ways to open the doors of communication.

I don't want your parenting advice, Barbara Jean.

Yes, you do.

Because you know that I know things about Kira that you want to know. And

want to know how I know them. And I'll let you know how I know them if you let

me know that you want to know... Okay, fine!

Tell me your secret. Tell me how you get my daughter to completely open up about

every detail in her life.

I spy on her.

Put your hands in the heart of the fighter.

I'm a survivor.

I can't believe you spy on my daughter.

And you thought I wasn't ready to raise a teenager.

Hey, guys, we're back from the ballgame.

Dad let me eat a whole bowl.

Making it sound a lot worse than it is. The relish was on, like, six hot dogs.

Did you know Barbara Jean is spying on Kira?

So? So!

It's a betrayal of trust. It's an invasion of privacy.

It's just old -fashioned wrong.

No, it's only wrong if the person you're spying on has something to hide.

Like if you had spied on Brock when we were having...

Okay, honey?

Look, Kira's a good kid. What's Barbara Jean gonna find out? It's either banned,

the library, or the mall.

We're lucky.

Kira has no life.

Apparently, neither does Barbara Jean, or she wouldn't be reading a 14 -year

-old's diary.

I would never read Kira's diary.

I read her e -mail.

Yeah. See, I put this filter... on the computer that lets me see everything

anyone does online.

You mean anything Kira does, right?

No.

I gotta go.

Really,

Reba, there's no harm in spying.

Wouldn't you like to know things? about Kira?

Like who gave her that friendship necklace?

No, I wouldn't.

I'm not going to stoop to your level, Barbara Jean. If Kira wants me to know,

she'll tell me.

Or you could just wait 30 years and hope that Kira's memoirs get turned into a

movie, which you won't be able to see unless there's parking outside the

for your high horse.

Kira's life is a movie.

You know who I want to play me?

Who?

Denzel Washington.

What

was that

about? Oh, Barbara Jean thinks that I'll spy on Kira like I'd ever spy on one of

my kids.

You spied on me all the time. I did not.

Your mom has a point, Cheyenne.

I mean, if she didn't spy on us, you'd never gotten pregnant.

It's like you were blind.

If you didn't spy on me, how did you always know when I liked a boy? Oh, it

obvious. You'd be on the phone all day with all your friends telling them about

it, and then you'd write, I love Jimmy, on your notebooks.

Jimmy?

Who's Jimmy?

You are, honey.

And then your pockets would be full of those empty lip gloss containers, and

you'd wear that pink sweater, real low -cut, with the black lace on it.

Hey, you know, going through someone's pocket is called spying, Mom.

No, honey, it's called doing the laundry.

Well, maybe I'll do your laundry and see how much you like it.

Yeah, do my ironing, too. That'll show me.

You know what I think, Mrs. H?

That you're not really Jimmy?

I think you should spy on Kira.

What? Yeah, go through her backpack. They keep everything in there.

And wise up, Mrs. H.

No one gets a friendship necklace from a friend.

It's from a boy.

Boy friend.

You do the math.

Hey.

Hey! It's been a week.

That deserves a hug.

What are you doing?

Oh, enjoying the scent of a girl who doesn't smoke or hang out with kids who

Have you been drinking?

No.

Have you?

I'm going upstairs to get some clothes.

Don't follow me.

Why would I follow you?

I'm not nosy.

I'm gonna go through your backpack.

If it's okay, don't say anything.

Brandon!

Hello, Jimmy.

Whoa! That's Cheyenne's sweater. Not anymore. She gave it to me.

What is that smell?

Did you swallow a car freshener?

No.

And where are you going in Cheyenne's sweater?

Out. Out where?

Out there, to enjoy the freedom our forefathers fought and died for.

Why are you asking all this stuff? I'm not asking stuff.

I just want to know if you're going to go meet someone somewhere and do

something that I might or might not like.

Oh, I get it. You think I didn't check all this with Dad.

No, that's not what I'm saying.

Well, it must be, or you wouldn't be saying it. I mean, when I lived with

checked with you, not Dad.

Now that I live with Dad, I check with him, not you, right?

Well, yes.

And now you're worried that I didn't check with either of you. But I know the

rules, and I check with Dad.

Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?

Well, yeah, but don't think you can just walk in here and abide by the rules,

little missy.

Hey, guys.

You're around?

No, she's over at a friend's house.

Which friend's? I don't know. Mindy, Bitsy, Bootsy. I can't keep track.

You let your daughter leave this house without knowing where she's going?

What kind of parent are you?

Am I? Jake, what are you doing here?

Not ruining my dinner.

You didn't know where Jake was.

Oh, that's different. Jake hasn't blossomed.

Come on. Kira's fine. She's a good kid.

Oh, really?

So you're not the least bit worried that she just left my house wearing

Cheyenne's sweater?

Hey, I spent so much money on those clothes, I hope Jake wears Cheyenne's

sweater.

And anyway, we're not talking about Cheyenne here. We're talking about Kira.

Kira, who might have a boyfriend whose name might be Brandon, who might have

given her a necklace.

Well, I'm hearing a lot of might.

So until I hear some definitelys, I'm not going to freak out.

How can I be sure?

Boop.

You've got mail.

Boop. You've got a goofball.

Okay, Barbara Jean.

What's the story with Kira?

She definitely has a boyfriend named Brandon. And he definitely gave her that

necklace. Well, is she meeting him or is she over at Mindy Bitsy Bootsy's house?

Well, there's nothing in here that tells me... Oh, my goodness!

What? What? We can refinance at 4 .75 with no points!

Oh, get over it!

Oh, what'd I do? Did I set off the alarm?

No, it's the instant message.

It's like talking with someone over the phone.

but less private and more difficult.

It's from her friend Mindy.

F2T. What does that mean?

Free to talk.

Put yes.

Oh, I don't mean put yes. I mean put why.

That's the first letter.

Okay, another message. The letter R, the letter U.

No! Are you?

See, are you?

Okay, right, all right. Are you going to Brandon's tonight? K -Y -R -A.

What? K -Y -R -A.

Kira.

No parents equal fun. No parents. It's an unsupervised party, Brock.

That she may not be going to. She's asking why I'm not replying. What do I

Well, don't say anything. She'll know you're not Kira. It's all cats. She's

Turn it off.

TIO. TIO.

Well,

Brock. Okay, all right, now don't panic.

So she didn't tell us her friend was a boy. A boy she likes whose parents are

out of town.

Yeah, yeah, it sounds bad.

Real, real bad. But that doesn't mean she's going to go over there and

do something stupid.

Right. It just means she can.

Kids are starting to arrive. Pull closer, Brock.

We'll never be able to see her from here. We're never going to see her

she's not coming.

But if her friends see us, then she's going to think I don't trust her.

And Reba, don't worry.

I've got a plan that'll make both of you happy.

Ha!

That vision goggle, huh? Barbara Jean, we're in the suburbs, not now.

You can't go sneaking around looking in people's windows.

I'll radio if I see anything.

And don't worry.

I'm not going to do anything that looks suspicious.

I can't believe this

is happening.

Oh, come on, Brock. You knew she was crazy when you married her.

I heard that.

No, I can't believe I'm sitting out here because you don't trust me.

Kira's been living with me for a whole month, so obviously she's gone wild. I'm

that bad a parent.

Well, I'm not here to argue with you, Brock.

All I know is when she lived with me, I knew what she was up to.

Oh, yeah, like you did with Cheyenne?

One time. One time our daughter gets pregnant, and I never hear the end of

Hey, I know what Kira's up to. She's out with friends.

Well, that's not good enough.

You need to know which friends and where they're going, for how long, and get a

phone number. And then get a cell number in case they lie about the phone

number. Or maybe we could put a chip in her head and track her by satellite.

Well, if you weren't so cheap.

Did you ever stop and think that maybe one of the reasons Kira moved in with me

is because I trust her?

You know what?

We might have to be here on a stakeout, but we don't have to talk.

Fine. Fine.

Roger that.

You think my mom kept track of my lip gloss?

Oh, I know.

We'd go through like a tube a week.

Hey, remember when my mom kept that old couch out in the garage?

I thought my lips would fall off.

You know, it was kind of fun sneaking around, never knowing if we're going to

get caught or not. Yeah.

Sitting there in the dark, the scent of strawberry passion on our faces.

Nothing's wrong. That's the problem.

There's no tension.

We're married.

It takes all the fun out of fooling around.

No. I mean, we could go upstairs and dance around our room naked and no one

would care.

sign of Kyrie yet.

I'm going back in.

You know, I'd love to think that your wife is insane for climbing up a tree in

night vision goggles, but then I realize she's my leader.

What are you talking about?

I spied on my kid today, Brock. I'm spying on her right now.

Well, unless she doesn't show up.

then you'd just be some creepy old lady watching the teenagers party.

Because I don't know who she is anymore.

You know, Kara's only been out of the house for a month, and she's got a whole

new life I don't know about.

Hey, try three years.

When I moved out, Cheyenne was drill team captain, Jake was learning to tie

shoes, and Kara was just a smart -mouthed kid.

Every parent looks at their kid and thinks, oh, they grow up so fast.

But I never realized how fast until I wasn't there every day to see it.

Yeah, now I'm going to be the one that's not there to see it.

Hit the gas!

I've been spotted!

What? What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

Oh, I think a better question is...

Never mind why we're here. Why are you here?

I'm with my friends, okay?

Friends or boys?

What's the difference?

You don't know?

We got nothing to worry about.

We know it's an unsupervised party, Kira.

Where did you hear that?

Have you been following me?

No, we got it from your email.

Again, honey, don't help.

Wait, Kira. Stop.

You know, I get Barbara Jean doing this, and Dad has to tag along in case he

needs to post bail.

But not you, Mom.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

And we all know what your mom did was wrong.

But you know what else is wrong?

You sneaking around with boys.

I know it's kind of dark out, but if you borrow Barbara Jean's spy goggles,

you'll be able to see I'm not Cheyenne.

Well, maybe we got confused because you're wearing her boy -meeting sweater.

So you guys really think I'm so stupid that I'd sneak off and have sex when I'm

14? And even if I did, why would I wear Cheyenne's sweater?

For good luck?

I thought you knew me better than that. Well, I used to.

But since you moved out, we don't talk, I don't see you. You don't even check in

with me. Because I live with Dad now. I don't have to do all that stuff.

Oh, yes, you do.

What? From now on, you have to check with both me and your mother.

Maybe you thought you'd have it easy living with me because Dad's a pushover.

Well, let me tell you something.

Living with me isn't going to be a free ride, and it isn't a license to cut your

mother out of your life either.

But that's not fair.

Well, good. Then I must be doing something right.

Now go say goodnight to your friends.

Oh, and tell Brandon I'm going to be sending his parents a nice little thank

note for letting him throw this party.

I can't believe this.

Who are you?

I'm the girl's father.

Hands off the merchandise.