Original subtitles

It's the young Mr. Belvedere.

Louise Gilbert, say hello to the Owens family.

So, you met the big guy at the laundromat, eh?

As it happens, we both spent time in Africa, so we thought it would be fun to

get together and compare notes.

That was just a gorilla gesture of friendship.

Hey, I'm not worried about the gorillas, big guy.

It's you going ape over her I was thinking about.

Uh -oh.

So, um...

Did you guys break up?

We're going to get married.

I can't even picture it.

Streaks on the China Never mattered before Who cares When you drop cake to

jacket As you came through the door No one glared

According to our new rival, life is more than mere survival.

And we just might live the good life yet.

Did you say married?

Yes, I suppose I did.

Hey, what's going on?

Mr. Belvedere's engaged.

What?

Whoa, way to go, big guy.

Not her, her.

Oh. Congratulations.

Thank you.

So, who are you?

Giselle. I was with Lenny, but now he's getting married.

Well, I'm Kevin. I just got over the chicken pox.

I'm single.

Ooh, you're cute.

Well, shall we go and make a toast to our commitment?

Uh, Mr. Belvedere, isn't all this kind of sudden?

Yeah, you guys hardly know each other. I mean...

Does she know you sleep in the nude?

I know this might appear rash, but Lynn and I are kindred spirits.

I believe marrying Louise will be the best thing I've ever done.

Congratulations. Hey,

wait a minute. What about us?

Oh, my God. We're not losing you, are we?

Well, this is what makes it so perfect.

With Louise working in Pittsburgh, I can still remain as your housekeeper.

Oh, so we'll still have your cocaine cleaning and she gets stuck with your

snoring.

Yeah, we'll even keep your room open, big guy. Just in case you need a place

crash when Louise kicks you out of the house.

Come on, let's go before George turns us into the honeymooners.

Bye -bye. Bye.

You think they'll invite us to the wedding?

Of course they will.

Daddy's going to pay for it.

So, considering all the options, I think the wedding should be at George's

Country Club.

Yeah. Make it around four, will you? That way I can come right from the 18th

hole.

Why don't we have it in a sand trap? Then you won't have to make the trip.

Actually, a country club sounds like a big affair.

We were hoping for something more intimate.

Well, hey, let's go to Vegas.

Hey, wait a minute. I'm not flying everybody to Vegas.

Well, how about Tahoe?

Marsha! May I make a suggestion?

Why don't we just have it here?

Gee, that was easy.

Well, what's next?

Oh, invitations and announcements.

Let's go, guys. That's not our department.

Tarkin.

Yes, honey buns?

What's that, Heather? Well, with you being a professor and all and writing

on gorillas and stuff, are you going to change your name to Belvedere? Of course

you will, Dr. Louise Belvedere.

To be honest, I hadn't given it much thought.

What is there to think about?

A woman doesn't just automatically give up her last name.

Since when?

Liz Taylor didn't give up hers.

I'm not marrying Liz, Louise.

Hey, guys, guys, guys, guys.

You're supposed to save up all the fights till after you're married.

Where were we?

What's up, big guy?

Oh, just came from telegrams from some friends of mine. They must have got our

wedding announcements.

You mind? Help yourself.

Congratulations, Lynn.

That Louise must be some foxy lady.

Love, Tina Turner.

I told Tina the shingling.

All right.

Here's one from Jar Jar.

She says she only attends weddings if she's the bride.

You know all these women?

Oh, they were just friends.

Uh -huh.

What's that supposed to mean?

Oh, nothing.

I mean, you can tell me they're just friends.

But try convincing Louise.

What?

They're ladies from your past, big guy.

If your missus gets a peek at these, you know what your honeymoon's gonna be

like? No. What?

Tell me again about Meryl Streep.

Oh, Lenny, were you and Cher really just buddies?

We were buddies.

Cher and I simply got the same tattoo.

Look, I'll show you. No, no.

Now, look,

if you want to avoid trouble, I'd hide those babies.

And whenever the topic of old flames comes up, switch the subject to apes.

is only days away, and I approach the event with a happy heart.

After all, Louise and I know the key to any relationship is patience and

understanding. So I'm convinced our marriage will be a long and joyous one.

Still, why does George keep painting us as the battling Belvederes?

That could never happen to us.

Could it?

I'll take a what?

My, aren't we a vision of loveliness this morning?

Speaking of loveliness, is that a new apron?

It was on sale, Winn. Sale?

You don't see me running out to buy a new robe?

That's because they don't make them that big.

You're going to be the first broad on the moon, Louise.

in this place.

Maybe you would have been happier if you had married one of your apes.

Maybe.

But stupid me doesn't marry a chimp. I marry a chump.

That's it.

This is my castle.

And from now on, I intend to be treated like a king.

You want to be treated like a king? Like a king.

A king? I said like a king.

All right, your majesty. You want the royal...

That's your crown.

Hey, little boy.

Get out!

You know, your breakfast is on your head.

Get out!

Well,

there seems to be only one logical course of action.

Run.

for his wedding.

Or maybe he and Louise are rehearsing for their honeymoon.

How interesting you people can be laughing at a time like this. What's

problem?

Bye, everyone.

Nice knowing you.

P .S. All regards to Louise.

Mr. Belvedere ran away?

His clothes are gone and everything.

Well, why would he just take off like that?

Well, he probably got cold feet about getting married and I...

You're good enough to make that guy leave the house.

Guys, can you fight about this later? I think we better find Mr. Belvedere.

You're right.

Let's split up and not a word about this to Louise.

Right. I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd stop by and say hi to Lynn.

Is he here?

I'm here.

Is the seat taken?

Help yourself.

Thanks, big guy.

Well, George, how did you find me?

Well, I checked out Donut World, and when you weren't there, I figured,

Belvedere going when he starts getting squirrely?

Am I that predictable?

You got my family kind of worried, big guy.

I'm sorry, George.

How many times have I said to you people, running away doesn't solve

and here I am running away.

Kind of a tubby Tom Sawyer.

Hey, come on, Belvedere.

You love Louise, right?

Mm -hmm. Well, so what's the big deal about time tonight?

Well, as soon as after all those little cautions you give me about marriage, I

realized you're right.

Huh? But I was just having fun.

Hmm? I mean, half the stuff I do is just to get a rise out of you.

What? Well, it's like the time I told you English cricket is for sissies. You

jumped all over me for weeks.

You even dragged me out in the mud to play a stupid game.

And I won.

Yeah.

Hey, what about the time I hid your ding -dongs all over the house?

Went out and got some police dog to snip them all out?

Ah, yes.

Fritzy.

I believe he also sniffed out your secret collection of Playboys.

Marsha's still harping on that one.

Then are you really saying that maybe marriage really could be all right for

Hey, if you can handle our household, you sure as hell can enjoy one of your

own.

Thanks, George.

I needed that.

Yep.

If you ask me, the way you cook and sew, you're going to make Louise a damn good

wife.

Gotcha.

Okay,

tomorrow I have a limo picking up Louise.

I got your talks back from the cleaners.

I ordered flowers for you guys.

And I didn't hock your rings.

Wesley, I couldn't have asked for a better best man.

You handled your duties with dignity and taste.

Yeah, right.

Hey, Mr. Belvedere. Now, what are you doing just sitting around the last night

you're single?

What? Hey, big guy. Hello, Mr. Belvedere. George, Skip, what are you

Why aren't you doing the news at the station?

We called in sick.

Yeah?

old news of Earl?

Oh, Wesley, you haven't arranged one of those wretched bachelor parties, have

you? Well, it wasn't just my idea.

On a coolie day!

Bob,

are you behind all this?

Uh, come on, Lynn. You've got to loosen up. Tomorrow you're getting married.

Tonight you've got to party.

I won't go. Oh!

Yes, you will. No, I won't. No.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'll jump out of the car.

He just bounced back in.

I'll call Louise.

No, she's out with Mom and Heather at the Beefcake Club.

All right, I'll go.

But I won't have any fun.

So I think we should join in.

Party!

No sign of them yet? Uh -uh. When I get my

hands on your father...

talk about it.

Not now, okay?

George!

Yeah?

Well?

Hey, come on, Marge. This is all Belvedere's fault.

Oh.

Well, first he gets us kicked out of the Steel Town Inn.

convention.

Where's Mr. Belvedere now?

Mr.

Belvedere, who are they?

Oh, this is Ginger and this is Annette.

I told them they could be flower girls.

Looks like we're ready for a wedding.

You're so pretty, I'm ready for a honeymoon.

Out of my way.

I have a nervous groom upstairs. The man needs some ho -hos.

I don't care what you say, Angela. This dress makes me look like Margaret

Thatcher.

Gosh, that'll be confusing when she shows up for Mr.

Bumpercar's wedding.

Come on, kitten. Let's man the door.

Who are they?

Oh, you told me to invite the Shriners.

I'm an Elliot and Paula Shriner. Up the street.

Whoa.

Check out the bride.

George, I've got... to see Lynn.

Well, you will. You're going to marry him. No, I've got to talk to him now.

No, see you in the groom before the wedding. Oh, but did you see...

Lynn, could I talk to you?

Not now.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to... Stop, please.

I'm sorry, but there's really something we have to talk about. Can't it wait?

I'm afraid it can't.

Ladies and gentlemen, would you excuse us for a moment? Get amongst yourselves.

Have you had a change of heart?

Not exactly.

More like a change of address.

I'm being called back to Africa.

What? The university at Butare.

They need me to come back and lead a guerrilla census.

Why can't they count them?

It's not as simple as that. A census could take over a year.

And also, they've offered me a faculty position.

I guess we better brush up on our Kinyawanda.

okay? Yeah, you guys better hurry up. Goulet's running out of material.

So, uh, what gives?

Well, it seems that Louise has been recalled to Rwanda.

Hey, that's neat.

Well, wait a minute.

If you're her husband, that means that you're... I'd be going with her.

Well, what are you gonna do, Mr. Belvedere? I mean, that would mean you'd

leaving us.

I spent six years with this family.

They've been some of the warmest and happiest moments of my life.

But now, I think it's time for Louise and I to find a life of our own.

And if that means traipsing through the mud with my wife, then that's what I

want to do.

Well, We can't tell you how much we're going to miss you, big guy, but you sure

as hell have our blessings.

I guess we always sort of knew you were going to leave someday.

And I can't think of a happier way for you to go.

As best man, I'd like to remind everyone that we have a wedding to attend.

Do you, Louise Marie Gilbert, take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?

I do.

And do you, Lynn Aloysius Belvedere, take this woman to be your lawful wedded

wife? I do.

Then by the authority vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

The cab's outside, then.

Well, as you know, I was never one to long goodbyes.

George. Orbiter.

After your many threats, I'm glad you never fired me. Yeah, me too.

Don't take any wooden bananas.

Mr. Belvedere, I just can't say goodbye.

Then don't.

I've left the recipes.

Be gentle to them.

I'll try.

So long, Mr. Belvedere.

Thanks for everything.

I regret I shan't see you graduate.

You are graduating.

Yeah, I am.

I love you, Mr. Belvedere.

I love you, Heather.

You know, if you weren't so old, I would have married you myself.

You know what I mean.

You know, I'm losing my best friend.

Wesley, I've known heads of state.

And many celebrities.

But none have given me finer memories than you.

I shall savor our moments together.

Even the embarrassing and painful ones.

Which account for most of them.

Though you are an Owens, I shall always think of you as a son.

Lynn, I'm afraid we have to go.

Oh, yes, the meter must be running.

He's gone.

Mr. Belvedere will be right back.

From the master of the family.

To all my dear Owens.

Married life has been rather hectic here in the Virunga Mountains.

First, Louise and I enjoyed our abba -dabba honeymoon.

Now we fill our days counting gorilla noses.

I miss you dearly. The being around apes keeps the spirit of the Owens family

alive indeed.

Oops, I was close.

Louise is calling.

Love to all.

P .S.

When you notice I've left my journal behind, don't bother to send it.

Perhaps someday I'll drop by and pick it up myself.