Original subtitles

Mr. Belvedere. Uh -huh?

We're trying to come up with a birthday gift for Dad. Can you think of anything

that would make him really happy?

Yes. But I like it here.

We've been through all these hardware catalogs, and we can't find anything

George hasn't already bought or busted or couldn't put together anyway.

Oh, here's something. An electronic laser beam for zapping pests.

Oh, good. We could test it out on Wesley.

Okay, guys.

Got a great idea.

See this plunger? It's Dad's favorite, so I thought maybe we could have it

lacquered and embossed Dad's name on the wood.

You're a sentimental lad, aren't you?

That's right. Look, birthdays are about people, not things.

Why don't you research your father, study his past, find out what's really

meaningful to him.

Sounds like a lot of work.

Well, he's worth it, isn't he?

Well, are we all prepared for the baseball match today?

It's not a match. It's a game.

Whatever.

Wesley, are you the thrower?

I'm not a thrower. I'm a pitcher.

That's your opinion.

Playoff.

Wesley, who are your disagreeable little teammates and why do I have to put up

with them?

This is Bobby. He's our best hitter. And Cal here leads the team in stolen

bases. Stolen bases?

I think that'd be more your specialty.

Okay, troops, let's hit it.

Men!

I can't begin to stress how important this game is to our chances this season.

Dad, we're one and nine.

Well, but if you sweep the rest of your games, you could still finish 16th.

Oh, wow.

Someone called the sporting news quick.

Oh, so your backs are against the wall.

Did Custer quit at Little Bighorn?

No, he died.

Well, that's the spirit. That's the drive.

You're winners.

Come on.

But sometimes things get turned around And no one's fed All

hands look out below There's a change in the bed and fall Gonna need

all the help that we can get According to our new

arrival Life is more than mere survival We just might live the good

life yet

Hey, Mr. Belvedere. I was going through some of Dad's stuff, and look what I

found. His old baseball cleats.

He walks much better since he stopped tying them together.

Yeah, I bet these will bring back a lot of old memories.

They'll also bring the health department. Get them out of here.

I don't believe it.

How could you give up 21 runs?

Did you win?

I guess not.

Dad, it's not whether you win or lose. It's how you play the game.

Who told you that, baloney?

I did.

That's why you guys lost India.

Come on, where's your competitive fire?

Dad, my fastball is slow, my curveball is straight, and when I try to throw a

slider, I fall down.

There's nothing a little practice won't fix.

But, Dad... Move!

So, did you find anything interesting?

A picture of Dad on the audiovisual squad in high school. I never knew he

nerd.

Who's on the audiovisual squad?

I rest my case.

Oh, wait, here's that on the football team.

Why is he carrying towels?

It must have been very humid that day.

So, are there any pictures of him on the baseball team?

I don't see him.

Oh, wait, it says here that he was absent.

Wait a minute, why would he ditch the team photo?

What were you doing out there?

Watching George and Wesley inhale hot dogs between throws.

It was disgusting.

How can Dad and Wes keep on playing in the dark?

They've got luminous balls.

Whoops.

Sorry, I guess it slipped away from me.

Hey, pal.

Better practice your grip.

Sure, Dad, but...

I mean, I'm supposed to do a book report on Kitcher and the Rye.

Oh, okay.

As long as it's got something to do with baseball.

Hey, Mom.

Hi.

What you reading?

Oh, just some old diaries I kept when I first met your father.

I was around your age, and he was, well, not your age.

Ooh, any really juicy details that would embarrass you? No, mostly it's just

about what color my hair was or what I wore.

You know how vain and mindless girls that age can be.

Huh?

Anyway, I found this sweater in the garage behind the snow tires. Is this

Oh, gosh, that's his old letter sweater from college.

Where's the letter?

They wouldn't sell him one.

See how this guy Wallace stares down the batters?

Pay attention to his motion.

Notice how he backs off his follow -through so he's in position to field?

Wes!

Wes, wake up!

I'm tired.

Hey, this is a privilege.

How often do I let you watch a West Coast game?

How often do I ask?

You'll thank me later. This guy's pitching a perfect game.

I'm going to go get something to drink. Tell me if I miss anything.

So, Wes, you learning anything?

Maybe.

Oh, my.

Pork rinds and spam dip.

George's favorite. How did you remember?

I ate one once.

Well, we got Dad's gifts all ready for the big presentation.

I sure hope he likes it.

Oh, that must be him and Wes now. All right, everybody, look sharp.

I want this to be Dad's best. First date ever.

Big jerk.

Got some nerve throwing me out of the game.

What happened?

Dad got into a fight with the umpire.

Did you get racked up again, Wes?

No, I struck out ten. I was pitching a shutout. Yeah, till a slob of an ump

accused him of doctoring the ball.

No, is anything like nothing a grudge?

No, you know, it's when they grease the ball to make it drop like a rock. It's

not exactly legal.

Yeah, nobody's gonna call my kid a cheater.

Dad, it's... It's okay. You don't have to get so hot.

Yeah, they just couldn't believe you were that good.

And you know why you were that good? Because you practiced and practiced and

made yourself good.

Yeah, that was it. Can I go upstairs and wash up? Sure, pal. I want you to know

I'm proud of you.

What's all this junk in your hair?

It's nothing. It's just a little oily.

You know, hormones.

There's more gunk in here. Lots more.

So that's what happened to my lip gloss.

Wes, you've been throwing a grease ball.

I can't believe this.

My own kid a cheater.

What could ever make you do something like this?

Gee, I don't know, Dad.

Why don't you figure it out?

Dad? Yeah, Wes?

I'm sorry I yelled at you.

You're my dad, and you've done a lot for me, and I really appreciate it.

Gee, Wes, that's really biggie to say.

Well, it is your birthday.

And besides, Mom made me.

Hey, Wes, I know I pushed you hard.

Those 3 a .m. wind sprints were a little over the top.

But I never wanted you to win so bad that you'd break the rules.

I just wanted to see you do your best.

Sorry if I got carried away.

It's okay, Dad.

Come on. We better go inside before the spandex goes south.

Okay, let's get this show on the road.

All right!

What's going on?

Oh, you'll see, you'll see.

This is your life, George Owens. Huh?

Yeah, we dug into your past, Dad, to create this special mural celebrating

Hey, look, here's your sixth grade report card where you made all Bs.

Hey, wait a minute. Those are Ds with lines drawn through them.

And here's some stuff from junior high. That's the eighth bandage you were

wearing in your class photo.

I bet you got hurt in some big game and they carried you off the field like a

hero. Yeah.

Broke my knees square dancing.

Dad, here's the best part. The headline from your high school paper.

Owens wins title for Porter High.

Bravo, George.

I went to Cleveland High.

I struck out with the winning runs on base and Porter won the title.

Well, I'm sure you tried.

Yeah, Dad.

I bet lots of people strike out with the winning runs on base and the

championship on the line. We still love you.

Yeah. Thanks, kid.

I hate this house.

George, I didn't realize the trip down memory lane could be so bumpy.

It's just, well, all that stuff out there reminds me of when I was a kid and

everything seemed possible.

Oh, George.

I mean, it's like baseball.

When I was young, I dreamed of playing with the greats.

Mickey Mantle, Willie Mays, Henry Aaron, Ernie Banks, the professor, and Mary

Ann.

I don't know.

I thought that was Wes's dream, too.

Oh, Wesley is of a different breed.

His dreams are more of world conquest.

Yeah, right.

All I'm trying to say is that everyone has their own dreams.

As a child, I dreamed about climbing Mount Everest and meeting the queen.

But you did all that.

Well, that's me.

Yeah, right.

So what's the point of having dreams if all they do is not come true?

May as well not dream at all.

I see.

Hey, where are you going?

To return your gift.

I have something else in mind.

Hey, Dad,

I don't think the other team's going to show.

Does that mean we win?

Well, let's give them another five minutes.

I wonder what happened to those kids anyway.

Apparently, somebody told them that the game had been moved to Venezuela.

What? Anyway, I took the liberty of arranging a pickup game.

Oh, lads, your presence is required.

Hey, Lynn, I just love the thread.

I was up all night sewing, Reggie. Looks great.

Hey, wait a second.

You're Reggie Jackson.

Oh, yeah. You know who this is? It's Reggie Jackson. This is Reggie Jackson.

George. I'm Henry Aaron.

Henry Aaron.

You know who this guy is?

He's the all -time home run champ.

If I had a dollar for every home run this guy hit, you know what I'd have?

My back salary?

Hi, George.

Willie Mays, say hey.

Ernie Banks, Mr. Cobb.

Welcome to the friendly confines. So wherever the heck we are.

This is incredible.

Some of the greatest hitters of all of baseball. George.

Harmon Killebrew.

Hey, Johnny Bench.

And Robert Goulet. Hey, George.

What are you doing here? I own the field.

I don't believe it. It's Robert Goulet.

All right, give me a pen. Give me a pen.

Okay, here's your pen.

You want my autograph?

Uh, sir.

Who are you?

Armand Killebrew, the twins.

Hey. My name's on your back, you little twerp.

Enough dawdling. It's time for the game.

Happy birthday, George.

Pleasant dreams.

Oh, wow.

Hey, we only got eight guys.

Hi, Len.

Hi. Sorry I'm late.

Mickey Mantle! I got lost.

Yogi gave me the directions.

Now that everybody's accounting for, let's make balls.

Play ball!

What happened?

Mom, it's unbelievable.

Mr. Belvedere gathered the greatest ballplayers of all time just so Dad

meet him and live out his fondest childhood fantasy.

That's nice.

Okay, here's the rundown. Killebrew on first, Mantle on second. I'm gonna

pitch George right field.

Well, how come you get to pitch?

It's my ball.

Put the klutz in right field.

I heard that.

Here, George. You can catch.

The tools of ignorance.

Don't say a word.

you know how to umpire a big guy?

Not at all.

But I do look spiffy in this outfit.

It'll be an honor if you give him your autograph.

Sure, kid.

I guess you guys are pretty proud of yourselves, huh?

Three runs down, one inning to go.

We want to play six innings? That's Little League rules.

Well, hey, it's a beautiful day for baseball. Let's play two.

You play two.

I'm pooped.

Come on, you guys aren't even trying.

Hey, give me a break. I was just elected to the Hall of Fame. Wow, we're real

impressed. All these guys are in the Hall of Fame.

Reggie isn't.

Maybe not, but I'm the best actor.

Okay, Mr. Show Business and all you guys.

I mean, do you really want to get beat by a bunch of kids?

I don't.

I've got to go out and face audiences in Las Vegas and on Broadway, and I intend

to do it with my head held high.

Now, we can pull ourselves out of this thing. We've got the skills. I mean, you

just... You just... You just gotta have heart.

All you really need is heart.

When the odds are saying you'll never win, that's when the grin should start.

All together now.

You've got to have hope.

Must sit around and hope.

Nothing's really bad as it may appear.

So wait till next year and hope. All right, let's go out there and get out.

Let's go.

I think you should walk him.

But my dad's up next. That's the point.

But if he hits a homer, they'll win.

Give me a break, Wes. Your dad hasn't touched the ball all day.

Do the right thing.

Oh, no.

What's happening?

Ball three.

Wes is walking Robert Goulet to get to dad.

That's humiliating, isn't it?

All right, George, we're going to go to you now, pal. Come on, buddy.

Ball, ball.

I don't know what to do.

You've done pretty well so far.

Yeah, but what has Dad done?

Pitifully.

That's just it.

This is supposed to be his dream come true.

I'm making it his nightmare.

Maybe I should ease up on him.

You mean, groove one?

Send him up a gopher ball?

You've been holding out on us. I have a facility for languages.

Then what should I do?

It's up to you.

I think your father's doing his best, so...

I think he'll want you to do the same.

Oh, and whatever you do, don't beam him.

Mr. Belvedere will be right back.

Oh,

somewhere in this favored land, the clouds obscure the night.

And somewhere there is misery.

And somewhere there is blight.

And somewhere children argue.

And somewhere parents shout.

But there is joy in Beaver Falls, because George just hit one out.

Hey, Lynn.

We're headed to this room, John. Want to come?

Oh, thanks, Danny, but the Owens are waiting for me. It's all you can eat.

Let them wait.

Tomorrow at 7, there's awesome entertainment on Incredible Sunday.

Now, stay tuned for a special preview of Homeroom.