Original subtitles

I'm going.

Oh, don't you look nice. Wait a minute. Just let me fix this.

Come on, Mom. It's the first day of classes. I don't want to be late. You

I can hardly believe it. It seems like only yesterday that we were getting you

dressed for your first day of kindergarten.

Well, I've got to go.

Remember, George, how he cried and cried and said, I want to be late.

I don't think we'd have ever gotten you there except finally Daddy and I told

you that we were taking you on a trip to the ice cream factory.

Oh, the scream you let out when we pulled up in front of that school?

I remember.

I still have nightmares about it.

It's okay.

They're not as bad as they used to be.

I'm done with my cereal.

Well, I was just chuckling over a story I've been reading in this newspaper for

the last 15 minutes.

No?

Toxic spill leaves 500 homeless.

Yes, I thought you'd get a kick out of that.

Morning, gang. Good morning. Morning.

I'm dropping your mom at work. See you tonight. Sure. Have a nice day. Thank

you. Yes, of course, Mrs. Huffnagle.

If I find out anything, I'll let you know right away.

What is it?

That was Hortense Huffnagle.

It seems a small rock just came through her living room window.

Hey, how come the minute something bad happens, everybody automatically thinks

did it?

It saves a lot of time.

Yeah, well, it couldn't have been me, because it just so happens... I've been

here the whole time eating my cereal.

It was my cereal, and he just came in.

I think she's crazy.

Her zits must be affecting her brain. I don't know how that window got broken.

Look in the stone basket.

There's nothing there.

Ooh.

A slingshot.

Okay, let's have it.

I didn't do it on purpose. I was aiming at their birdbath, but it ricocheted off

the mailman and hit their window.

and pay for a new window out of my allowance.

You bet your sweet butt you will.

Yes, sir.

Wait a minute.

Where did you get this?

Uh -oh.

And you thought it was Elsa.

Well, I ordered it from Dad's hunting catalog.

But they only take credit cards.

Yeah, how about that?

from school and up to your room. We will discuss your punishment when your

father and I get home.

Yes, ma 'am.

No one glad.

According to our new rival, life is more than mere survival.

And we just might live a good life yet.

Come on, this is going to be great. It's the only X -rated class on

campus. Carl, it's an art class.

Just because there's nude models, there's nothing sexy about it. So you

well stop drooling. Yeah.

Anyway, I don't know why we're here. We don't even know how to draw. Maybe

they'll let us trace.

I'm leaving. No, no, come on. Let's get some seats up front.

Good afternoon.

I'm Miss Fielding, and welcome to Illustration 102.

She's dressed.

She's the teacher, Carl.

For the next ten weeks, we'll take a close look at the human anatomy.

Our models will be unknown, so I expect the proper level of decorum. Our model

today... It's Jamie Douglas.

I would like you to pay particular attention to the latissimus and the

maximus.

It's a guy.

Yeah, but he's not bad.

How's it going?

Good. I cut up all the potatoes in a little starch, just like you said.

Oh, very good, Wesley.

told me to keep her hands busy.

Now, I wouldn't be being punished in the first place if Miss Piggy hadn't

squealed on me.

Look, you're the one that broke the window and lied about it, not your

Yeah, I know.

Now, I'm going to be away for a few minutes, and I want you to mash these

they're absolutely smooth and there isn't a lump in them.

Okay, then what should I do with them?

I don't care. We're having rice.

Excuse me, is this Illustration 102?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure is. Oh, good.

Hey, uh, I don't remember seeing you here the first couple days. I wasn't

Probably explains it.

So, are you an art major?

Political science and history.

What about you?

Business and pleasure.

Um, actually, I'm undeclared. My name's Kevin.

Hi, Kevin.

All right, if everyone will be seated.

Excuse me. Um, listen.

I'd like to see more of you.

That might be possible.

Today we'll focus on the muscle groups of the back and the shoulders as we move

on to the drawing of the female form.

Our model today is Miss Amy Nelson.

Boy, it's not even your first date.

Here you go.

Cheeseburger. Nothing on it.

Oh, and I got you some hot coffee. I figure it must get pretty cold up there.

It does. Thanks.

So, listen.

I'm curious.

How did you get into this line of work?

Well, I don't know. I saw an ad on the bulletin board, and I figured, why not?

Anyway, it pays a lot more than working at McDonald's.

And you don't have to wear the little hat.

People find out that I do this, and they sort of get the wrong idea.

Oh, not me.

I mean, I understand. It's a classical discipline, and I think it's real

interesting.

Good.

So, listen, are you doing anything Friday night?

Oh, I don't know.

I was thinking maybe we could go see a movie or something.

Oh, and there's this neat little French place I'd like to take you to.

Sure, sounds like fun.

Great.

Is it fancy?

Huh? The restaurant. I just want to know what to wear.

Oh, it doesn't matter.

I mean, wear something.

I'll get it.

Real funny, Wesley. I know you're out here.

Wesley?

Yeah, Heather?

How did you get up there so fast?

Never mind. I just thought there was somebody at the door.

It's all clear, Miles.

So she fought for it?

Like a ton of bricks.

I still don't know what we're doing this for.

Look, I got in trouble because she ratted on me. But by the time we're

she'll be so nuts, nobody will ever believe another word she says.

Not even her.

What?

No.

You've been seeing an awful lot of her.

How'd you know?

What do you mean?

Look, Mr. Belvedere, remember how I told everybody that I met Amy in

Fundamentals of Accounting? Yes.

Well, I lied.

I met her in art class.

Good Lord, do your parents know?

The thing is, she's not really in the class. She's a nude model.

I see.

Yeah, so does everybody else.

I mean, it's kind of embarrassing.

I assume she'll be wearing clothes tonight.

Oh, come on, Kevin. There's nothing wrong in being a model.

Yeah, I know. It's just kind of hard to get serious about someone that everybody

in the world has seen naked.

Golly, I haven't.

You know what day this is?

Huh?

It was two weeks ago tonight that we had our first date.

Oh, yeah, right, right.

So?

I got you a little something.

Oh, Amy.

Thanks.

See, it's Popeye and olive oil.

Isn't that kind of a cute couple?

It's like a... Of course, I'm not as skinny as she is, but I guess you

know that.

You don't like it.

I could get you one with blue dough.

No, no, it's fine.

Is something wrong?

No, look, it's just...

If we're going to make a commitment to each other, I think we should do it

right. Okay. I mean, I'll promise to stop seeing other people, and you'll

promise to stop letting other people see you.

Naked, I mean.

Why?

Why?

Because I hate it, that's why. I mean, look around you. Every guy in this whole

place is staring at you.

Look, I just think you're going to be my girlfriend. You should give up all this

model junk.

I thought you said it was a classical discipline.

Yeah, well, that was before.

Hey.

Hey, what are you jerks looking at, huh? Haven't you ever seen a naked girl

before? Where?

Look, Kevin.

I like what I do.

And I don't have anything to be ashamed of.

If you can't handle that, then that's your problem.

All right, look, Amy.

Happy anniversary.

Whoops. Forgot the paper.

Let that open.

You

know

what else is good?

Cocoa puffs and prune juice.

Come on, Mr. B.

Hey, who shut the front door?

I almost froze out there.

Perhaps it was the wind.

And, Heather, didn't I tell you last night to put the car in a garage?

I did.

Then how come it's sitting out in the street covered with snow?

Well, I was sure I'd put it away, but I guess I didn't.

You've been forgetting a lot of things lately.

I know. I'm sorry. I'll go put it away.

Honey, don't you think you'll need these?

worry about her.

Thank you, Amy.

Now on Monday, we'll focus on the contour and texture of the cheeks.

All right.

She means these.

Let's not catch up with you, okay? Yeah.

I don't want to be late. Look, Amy, I just wanted to apologize.

Oh? I know I acted like a jerk last night. It's just, I like you so much, I

a little crazy.

Yeah, I noticed.

Anyway, I'm sorry I ruined our anniversary.

I promise, it won't happen again.

It's okay.

I guess I should be flattered.

Because I thought about it, Amy, and I realized... How hard you're working to

put yourself through school.

I mean, you're only doing this because it's a real good job.

Right.

So guess what?

I found you a better one.

Wanted clerk typist Arab studies department?

You don't even have to wear the veil.

Hey, Amy, come on. You can at least try getting a regular job.

I'll pay you to get one. There's nothing wrong with what I do.

Oh, yeah. You'd be hung up, too, if I was doing it.

What? Yeah.

How would you like that, huh? How would you like it if I was the one up there,

posing nude?

It wouldn't bother me.

Did I just hear someone volunteer?

Huh?

Jamie, our regular model, got a job in a low -budget film.

We need someone to take his place next week.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you're tall and good -looking and...

You appear to have a very well -developed musculature.

Great. Biceps are hard and firm. You'd be perfect for me.

Us? I mean the class.

Yes. Okay, I'll do it.

I forgot.

Yeah, that's the first time I've asked you.

Oh, great. Now I can't even remember things I didn't even forget.

Mr. Belvedere, do you think 16 is too young to already be losing your mind?

Ah, look, I wouldn't worry. At 16, you haven't got much of a mind to lose.

Oh, look.

We all have our lapses of memory from time to time.

Why, only yesterday, I forgot to pick Wesley up at school.

Really?

Actually, I didn't forget.

I just couldn't face it.

Heather, what's the matter?

Oh, nothing.

I just saw a tree walk by.

Oh, really?

Oh, perhaps it was going south for the winter.

wouldn't is to tell me what's going on.

Okay, kid. I want you to knock him dead up there.

Just relax, take a deep breath, and come out punching.

Kevin, are you ready?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure.

Hi, Kevin.

Glad to see you can make it.

What are you doing here?

I work here.

Big laugh will try something a bit more challenging.

as we examine the juxtaposition of the male and female figures, with Amy and

Kevin helping us recreate Rodin's The Handshake.

My foot's asleep.

So wiggle it.

Huh? Your foot.

Oh.

So, except for the air conditioning, this isn't so bad.

of fun, knowing all the girls in the class can't take their eyes off me.

As a matter of fact, I might quit my job at Mr. Cluck's.

Take this up full time.

Fine.

Hey, this is driving you crazy. I know it.

No, it's not.

Yeah, well, it is me. Kevin! All right, class is dismissed. There's nothing to

be seen here. Kevin, stop it! All right, I forgot. You like it up here. This is

how you get your kicks.

a girl go by here?

Does she look like this?

Hi, Amy.

I've been looking all over for you.

Leave me alone.

Come on, Amy. Give me a break.

Barely managed to shake the campus police.

Oh.

Okay, you better sit down.

People are starting to stare.

Look, I'm really sorry about what I said before. You know, about you getting

your kicks from this.

Really? I mean, it wasn't me talking.

It was a cold floor.

Look, Kevin, I don't think this is going to work out.

I mean, I'm going to keep modeling, and you're going to keep going nuts because

other guys are looking at me. That's not it.

Okay? I don't care about the other guys. It's me seeing you that's driving me

crazy. What?

Amy, I see you up there like that every day.

Then when I take you home at night, I barely manage to get a goodnight kiss.

I like to go slow with that kind of stuff.

I guess I'm old -fashioned that way.

Yeah, well, I always figured you care about somebody first. Then you see them

like this.

I guess I'm old -fashioned, too.

So what do you think we should do?

I don't know.

I guess you should just keep on modeling, and I'll keep being crazy.

Well, at least you're dressed for it.

Maybe you went in here.

I'll see you.

Hi, Mr. Belkier.

Hello, Wesley.

Uh, is there any of that chocolate cake left?

Yes, you'll have to get it for yourself.

I have to run to the hospital to meet your parents.

How? What happened?

We had a call from school.

Seems your sister's had a nervous breakdown.

She did?

Poor girl. When they took her away, she was mumbling something about being

attacked by a Christmas tree.

She really is quite mad.

Oh, no, and it's all my fault.

It is?

I've been doing bad stuff to her, trying to drive her crazy.

Well, apparently you've done a very good job.

But I must run.

I don't want to miss the shock therapy.

be right back.

At any rate, now that all the gaslighting is over and done with, the

household has returned to its normal level of insanity.

It's too bad, too.

I'd already picked out Wesley's straitjacket.

As for Kevin and Amy, they've resolved their differences.

And Kevin says they're going to be seeing a lot more of each other.

I'm afraid to ask what that means.

I never told Kevin that back in my bohemian days, I posed for a sculptress

Paris who said she wanted to immortalize me.

Personally, I just think she wanted to see me naked.

Later tonight on Nightline with Ted Koppel, a Christian scientist couple is

charged with manslaughter after they refused medical treatment and their

died. Is it child neglect or religious persecution?

Tomorrow at 9, a beautiful model has Ohada fighting for his honor. Then,

talk Spencer to gain possession of a crooked judge's diary on Spencer.