Original subtitles

Ah, nice hands, 47.

Yeah, I could have got that one.

Let's not go crazy, Kev.

Here we go, sports fans.

As requested, something from each of the four basic junk food groups.

I'm ready.

Hey, honey, you look great.

Come on, George, you have to get ready.

The game's almost over. Yeah, Steelers are on the 10 -yard line.

Look, I told Hortense we'd pick them up at 7.

All right. All right, I'm going, I'm going.

I ran a tub for you.

Did you put in some Mr. Bubble?

Yes, George.

We're going out to dinner with the Huffnagels. Oh.

Has there been a ceasefire?

Sort of.

Yeah, every year Mom and Dad take the Huffnagels someplace to make up for all

the bad stuff Wes did.

Where do you take them?

Paddy's?

All right.

Steeler's score?

No, they cut to the cheerleaders.

Wesley, what are you doing?

Saving electricity.

Don't do that. They'll know I'm here.

Who's chasing you? The police or the neighborhood vigilantes?

The Huffnagels.

Hi, babe.

Oh, hello, Mother.

You look very nice tonight.

Thank you, honey.

We're going out to dinner with the Huffnagels. Well, you'll sure have lots

talk about.

I didn't do it.

Mom! What happened?

It's Dad. The TV fell in the bathtub, and I don't think he's breathing. Oh, my

God.

But sometimes things get turned around and no one's fed All

hands look out below There's a change in the status quo Gonna need

all the help that we can get According to our new

arrival Life is more than mere survival We just might live the good

life yet

Take it easy, honey. Not too fast.

Thanks. George, good to have you back. How do you feel, Dad?

Like a million volts.

Hey, Dad, it's not funny. You almost got electrocuted.

The paramedics said Dad was very lucky.

Apparently, your rubber ducky absorbed most of the shock.

All I can say is it's a pretty good thing Mr. Belvedere knew CPR.

Huh? He's the one who brought you around.

Yeah, he dragged you out of the tub, laid you on the ground, put his mouth

yours and everything.

It was very romantic.

So, I guess what everybody's trying to say is you sort of saved my life, huh,

Belvedere? Yes, George.

Thanks, big guy.

George.

Hey, Belvedere.

Couldn't sleep?

I guess I'm still a little charged up.

Look, George, if you're still thinking about how I saved your life, forget it.

I mean, I wouldn't want you to feel obligated to save mine or anything.

I don't.

Oh.

What I've really been thinking about is how I was sort of dead for a while.

I mean, my heart stopped and everything.

Well.

It's not as if you were brain dead.

At least no more than usual.

Hey, I was gone, pal.

I was someplace else.

I see.

What was it like?

I don't know.

All I kind of remember is this weird smell like liver and onions.

I'm sorry, George. I didn't have time to gargle.

It's just, something like this happens to you, it's like somebody's giving you

second chance.

No, that's true.

It's a beautiful night, huh, Belvedere?

Mm -hmm, yes.

Lovely. You can see just about every star in the sky.

It's funny.

It's like I've never seen them before.

Don't you think we ought to go... There were bells on the hills.

But I never heard them ringing.

No, I never heard them at all.

When I was you, there were birds in the sky.

But I never saw them winging.

No, I never thought...

Wesley, what are you making?

Lunch. I told you to make a sandwich.

I am.

Potato chip and jelly on pound cake.

Give me that.

Hey, Dad says you should do what makes you happy. Live each day as if it were

your last.

Eat this, and it might be.

Poor Dad.

I think he's outside flying a kite.

And I didn't even tell him to.

Well, George's editor is on the phone, and he doesn't sound too happy. Yeah, I

think I know why.

You see this column?

No.

Steelers win. So what?

I like it so far.

It was a crisp fall afternoon at Three River Stadium.

On the field are the Pittsburgh Steelers, making it happen, living out

dreams. In the stands, 60 ,000 spectators who long ago abandoned

They yell, they cheer, but it's just a temporary diversion from their empty,

wasted lives.

Hey, family!

George, your editor's on the phone.

Uh -oh, he must have read Pop's column.

Hi, Ed, what's doing?

Whoa, Eddie, Eddie, take it easy.

Life's too short.

Well, look, if that's the way you feel, I think I can solve both our problems.

I quit.

George! But have a nice day.

What's everybody looking at?

George, what did you do?

I just quit my job.

Pretty crazy, huh?

Yes. But I didn't want to be the one to say it.

George, can we talk for a second?

Alone. Oh, sure.

I got time.

Look, honey, I know you've been through a lot, but don't you think we should

have talked about this first?

You're right.

I'm sorry.

It's okay, honey. We'll talk about it now.

I don't want to.

George!

Look, Marsh, I can't explain it, but something's happened to me since the

accident. I mean, I've changed.

Well, that's wonderful, George, but what about the rest of us?

I haven't changed. The kids haven't changed. The mortgage payment hasn't

changed.

Hey, you guys mean everything to me.

Look, do you think I'd ever do anything that I didn't think was absolutely right

for all of us?

No. I mean, do you think I'd just up and quit like that without having some kind

of a game plan?

Of course not.

So what are you going to do?

I'm going to be a singer.

Here we go, Mrs. Owens.

I have made you some tea.

You already have my sympathy.

Thank you.

So, Mom, are you sure he said he wanted to be a singer?

Maybe he meant swinger.

What kind of singer he wanted to be? If it's country and western, I'm moving

out.

Hey, maybe he'll do rap.

I was sitting in the tub, I was watching the big game when the TV set fell in

and it shorted out my brain. I think what he had

in mind was more like easy listening.

Is that possible?

Oh, years ago, George used to fool around with singing.

Music would come on the radio and he'd pretend to be Frank Sinatra.

And he would want me to pretend to swoon, so I would. And then he'd want me

go back to his pretend dressing room.

So what are we going to do?

Nothing.

I'm sure as soon as he realizes how impractical the whole thing is, he'll be

back to the paper in no time.

I hope you're right. And regardless, with a voice like George's...

Who would hire him?

So, what do you think?

Very nice.

George, Mr. Pittsburgh Owen, now appearing in the fabulous ingot room.

Three drink minimum.

Well, that should be no problem.

Hi, honey.

Hey.

Ta -da!

George, that's a very good picture.

Yeah. Old blue eyes ain't got nothing on me.

Anyway, I got to go upstairs.

Loosen up the old pipes.

Would you like some Drano?

I love this cat.

So anything, Mr. Belvedere?

Does this bag go with this dress?

Well, I've got to see you tonight, and I've got to wear something so people

won't recognize me.

I'm wearing these.

through with this, huh?

Unless something happens to change his mind.

Well, I thought you were going to talk to him. Oh, he'll never listen to me.

But perhaps there's someone he will listen to.

On a clear day, I'll look around you, and

you'll see... It's my song.

Hey, you're Robert Goulet.

Yes.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I'm just... Hanging out?

Huh?

George? I hear you want to be a singer.

Yeah, I do, and in fact, I'm opening tonight at the Steel Town Inn.

Really? You ever play there?

Play there? I wouldn't sleep there.

Now, that's pretty much why I'm here.

Why's that, Bob?

Well, this singing racket is kind of tough, and don't call me Bob.

Yes, sir.

See, the thing is, it's not easy getting started in this business.

I know that.

Oh, you know that.

Oh, well, then you know what it's like.

I mean, playing in every kind of crummy dive, singing your heart out to somebody

who's only interested in his cocktail or his cocktail waitress.

I mean, getting heckled, not getting paid, and you're lucky if they don't

you sweep up on the way out.

You mean all that happened to you? No.

But for every guy like me, there are a million guys like you, sweetheart.

And chances are, you're just not going to make it. Hey, look.

I've been dreaming about this my whole life.

And now that I'm getting a second chance, I'm going to go for it. George,

think... Yeah, well, I don't care what you think.

And nothing you say is going to change my mind. So why don't you just get the

hell out of here?

George!

Now, you're hurting my feelings.

Um...

Sorry, Mr. Gouvet.

Oh, that's all right.

Bye, George.

So long.

Oh, uh, incidentally, this is the way it goes.

On a clear day, right...

You know who was just here?

Robert Goulet.

Oh, really?

He tried to talk me out of being a singer.

So I got mad and yelled at him.

And he sang on a clear day and left.

A toss.

I better go rest up for tonight.

Oh, George.

When you see Victor Moan, just ignore him.

Look, Dad got us a table right up front. I'm leaving. Just sit down.

Come on, Mr. Gallagher. I don't see what you're so mad about.

Wesley, you don't just walk into an empty room and start watching the adult

movie. You didn't have to drag me out so fast.

I still had a quarter left on the vibrating bed.

Sit.

Five minutes, Mr. Pittsburgh.

Looks like a full house out there.

Great.

Very clever making it helmet night.

What the hell am I doing?

Excuse me?

I'm nuts.

I gotta be nuts.

That's true.

You guys were right.

This was stupid.

Just go out there and tell them I'm calling the whole thing off.

No.

Huh? I've changed my mind. I think you should go out there.

Why? Because now I don't?

George, if you back out now, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

I don't know.

I can't do it.

You know something, George?

I had a dream once.

Right.

I always wanted to be a member of Parliament.

But like you, I was afraid I didn't have it, or I'd be rejected.

Oh, yeah?

But eventually I thumbed up enough courage and stood for election.

Before I knew it, there I was, in front of the House of Commons, giving my

maiden speech.

So how'd it go?

Terrible.

I hadn't been elected.

But at least I tried.

Hi.

Hi. I'm Sharon. I'll be your waitress.

I'm Kevin. I'll be your slave.

Uh, can I get you guys something to drink?

Oh, gee, uh, I don't know. What am I in the mood for?

Maybe something exotic.

Like a root beer?

Uh, yeah, root beer.

Straight up.

And the other children will have sodas, too. And for you, ma 'am, a triple

vodka.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Steel Town Inn's fabulous ingot room proudly

the first sports writer of song, Mr.

George Owens.

Hey, maybe Dad chickened out.

God, I hope so.

My kind of town.

My kind of town.

My kind of razzmatazz.

And it has that there jazz

and...

Come fly with me. Come fly, let's fly away.

If you can use some exotic booze, there's a bar in Firebomb Bay.

Come fly with me.

Let's fly off in the blue today.

Boy, Dad's doing pretty good.

Yeah, I think people actually like him.

Come fly with me. Come fly, let's... Fly away.

Hey, all right.

Yes, sir.

Hey, what's the matter, you?

Hey! Got no respect.

Hey! What do you think you're doing?

Hey! It's not so bad.

Hey! Why do you feel so sad?

Hey! It's a nicer place.

Shut up with your face.

You!

I guess we should be happy for him. I don't believe this. My father's a lounge

act. So does he mean we have to move to Las Vegas?

I don't know.

Hey, that'd be great.

Heather and Mom could be keynote girls, and me and Mr. Belvedere will be pit

bosses.

Wednesday, shut up your face.

And, of course, on the keyboards, a gentleman who's been with me my whole

career.

I met him this morning. Mr. Ben Lanzarone.

Put your hand down, Ben. You should have thought of that before you left the

house.

Seriously, though, Ben's work was some of the greats.

Sinatra, Bennett, Pretley.

He parked all their cars.

Anyway, before I do my last number tonight, I'd like to take a moment to

introduce some people who are pretty special to me.

My family.

They think dear old dad kind of flipped out a little with this singing business.

But I got to tell you something.

This has been the greatest night of my life.

Well, maybe not the greatest.

Maybe that was the night my first kid was born.

Or my little girl's first smile after they took her braces off.

Or maybe when Westman made Little League.

or the night this big English guy showed up on my front doorstep.

Actually, though, if I had to pick one night in particular, I guess it would be

the night I met this lady.

This is my wife, Marsha. Come on, honey.

And that's why I like to dedicate this last song to her.

And when I say last, I really mean it.

Because this is it.

This is my last performance.

Come on, honey.

Oh, George, I... Come on.

It's very clear Our love is here to stay

Not for a year But...

Ever and a day The radio

And the telephone and the movies that we know may just be passing

fancies and in time may go.

But... Oh, my dear, our love is here today.

Together we're going along...

Gibraltar may tumble. They're only made of clay.

But our love is here to stay.

Yeah, room for one more.

Oh, my dear.

Our love is here to stay.

Not for a year, but ever and a day.

But our love is here.

George seems to be content now that he's had his moment in the limelight and has

promised to confine his singing to the shower and hopefully not the tub.

As for Marsha, she's probably still at the ingot room, finishing her third

encore of Let Me Entertain You.

It constantly amazes me how people can be such hands.

Me and my shadow

With no one there to tell me