Original subtitles

Kevin, what are you doing?

Juggling.

Oh.

You're getting very good at it.

This book I got says you just start with one ball, then pretty soon you work

your way up to stuff like chainsaws and puppies.

Not at the same time, I hope.

Why all this sudden interest in juggling?

I need this to get into a good college.

I thought you needed good grades.

Everybody's got those.

You gotta have something else. Something that makes you stand out. I mean, I

read where this guy got into Harvard just because he built these really great

sandcastles.

Well, good luck.

Hey, hey, wait, wait, wait. I'm gonna try two now.

Well, there's always barber college.

Afternoon, ladies.

Fifty people. How much prune juice do you need?

How early do you want it to end?

Well, we're just trying to get our refreshments together for the open house

the restaurant.

What do you think, Mr. Bellpepper?

Let's see.

Trained carrots, creamed corn, tapioca pudding.

This may come as a shock, but some senior citizens can actually chew.

Boy, I'm glad we asked.

How was the shopping trip?

Do we have any aspirin? Oh, that good.

It happens every time. We get to the mall, I turn my back for one second, and

they disappear.

It took me an hour to find them.

Are you sure it was worth it?

It lets you put two cans on your head and drink out of them. What do you

Belvedere? Is it me?

To be perfectly honest, yes.

Hey, Wesley, what are you doing tomorrow?

I already told you, I'm not going. Come on, Mr. Belvedere, tell them to go to

our open house.

Go, Wesley.

You know what they want me to do?

They want me to babysit a bunch of old wrinkleheads.

citizen, they thought of adopting us back. And then we'd visit them and go

places and keep each other company.

Forget it.

Besides, if I want to lift some old person's spirit, I've got Mr.

Belvedere.

Come on, Angela, let's go.

Hey, Mr.

Belvedere, look, I'm getting better.

How about that?

Have you got any eggs?

No.

You think I'm being selfish, don't you?

Well, it's your decision, Wesley.

But remember, you'll be an old wrinklehead yourself one day.

If you live.

I don't know.

I mean, what do I want fake grandparents for? I never even knew my real ones.

They all died before I was born.

I didn't know that. Yeah, Wes would have loved Grandma Cameron. She was great.

Oh, yeah?

Always taking us places, buying us things.

All I had to do was point at something and she'd get it for me.

You mean old people have money?

Oh, Heather!

© BF -WATCH TV 2021

© BF -WATCH TV 2021

Okay, folks, if you'll just fill these out, then we can get on with the

interviews. Wesley, what are you doing?

Nothing. What's this?

Just a little questionnaire I made up to make sure I choose the right

grandparent.

Annual income, major credit card, something wrong.

I am surprised you forgot T -bills and life insurance.

Wesley, this is a new low, even to you.

Come on, I'm just doing it for their own good. I mean, I don't want some poor

old person spinning their last nickel on me. And I know they're going to want

to, wouldn't you?

All right, all right.

Hi. Hi.

Ah, what do we have here?

A couple of sweet birds of youth come to brighten up my otherwise dreary day.

This is my friend Heather. Hi. Great.

Go away.

Would you like some punch or cookies?

No, I wouldn't.

Would you like us to read to you?

No, I wouldn't. Well, do anything you want.

Huh?

Why don't you jump in a couple of bikinis and go outside and we'll take

snapshots.

What I'm trying to tell you is I... I ain't interested in this stupid

grandparent stuff, so...

Why don't you just both run along and leave me in peace, all right?

I think he likes it.

When you take me to the movies, I gotta sit up close with a big tub of popcorn

and enough candy to last me the whole time.

Oh, and I don't go into that D -rated junk.

It's PG -13 or nothing.

You know, young man, I wish you were my real grandchild.

You do?

Yes, because then I could hit you.

the same question. Huh?

I filled out your little financial statement.

Oh, yeah?

My husband was a banker.

He would have been impressed with you.

This is nice.

This is very nice.

So, do I qualify?

I think we can do business.

I'm home.

Whoop -de -doo.

George Owens.

Oh, good for you.

You here to see Belvedere?

No, I'm dating your daughter.

Okay, I'm ready to go.

Oh, hi, Dad.

Hi, kitten.

Did you meet Mr. Sparks? He's my new foster grandparent.

Oh, that's great. Yeah, great.

They take people who are perfectly content to drag them outside and make

things. Yeah, we're going to a concert in the park. I hate music. Too bad.

I hate pop.

You two kids have fun. I'll have her back by Tuesday.

Wesley. I can only stay a minute.

I need a leash for that boy.

I'd be happy to lend you mine.

I just thought he should get his sweater before we go play miniature golf.

Well, watch out for him.

He cheat.

Well, I know. he's a little con artist, but he is just so lovable.

I wish I could take him home with me.

Sign here.

Okay, I'm ready.

Remember, dinner's at seven.

Oh, no.

Mom said I could eat out with Grandma Unit.

Yeah, we're going to Wee Willie Winky Pizza Cartoon Theater.

It's her favorite restaurant.

Oh, mine too.

Good luck.

Come on, let's go.

Go where?

play miniature golf. Oh, right.

Wednesday, I told you to get a hat.

Huh? You told me to get a sweater.

Oh, yeah, that's what I meant.

Come on.

Let's go.

Are you going to juggle that?

No, juggling was stupid.

I mean, what college is going to care about somebody just because they can

a bunch of balls up in the air?

Yes, especially when it's only two.

Anyway, I figured I'd try something more artistic.

And this is it?

Yeah, it's a modern sculpture.

I call it roadside litter.

What do you think?

Well, it's certainly something I'd throw out of my car.

Hey, thanks.

Anyway, here's Mom carrying me home from the hospital.

You are adorable.

in labor for 27 hours.

That's why she looks like that.

And here's me in my crib when I was six months old.

Is that barbed wire?

Something like that.

And here's me and Dad taking a bath together.

Oh, isn't that nice?

You want to sit down and watch the rest of it?

I'd love to, honey, but I've got to go do something else.

Yeah, I've got to go do that, too.

You don't have to watch the rest of it, either, if you don't want.

Oh, no, it's fine.

You sure?

This does get a little boring, even for me.

I'm not bored.

Besides, it isn't what you're doing that matters.

It's who you're with.

What's this?

That's Wesley's new gelato machine.

I told him not to take advantage.

Then you better not look in the garage.

What did she do? Buy him a bike?

Go, Carson.

Oh, boy.

Me and Grandma Eunice are going to the movies now.

Wesley, what did I say about letting Mrs. Dodson spoil you?

Go for it.

I told her she doesn't have to keep buying me stuff, but she likes to.

Anyway, the movie tonight is my treat.

Well, it's very nice, Wesley.

Where did you get the money?

Grandma Eunice gave me $20.

Wesley?

Is everything okay?

Oh, sure.

Um, Mrs. Dodson, I really don't think Wesley should be taking any money from

you. I don't think so either.

But you did give him that $20.

Oh, no, I didn't.

Sure you did.

With me.

I was going to use that money for the movies.

But you gave it to me. I did not.

Don't you remember? You said it was all the money you had. No, I...

Go.

I didn't take her money. She gave it to me.

She must have forgot.

Twenty dollars?

Dad. Sure I will, pal.

What did he do?

Mrs. Dodson said he took $20 out of her purse.

I didn't do it, Dad. I swear.

All right, Westman. We believe you.

No, you don't.

Actually, if Wesley had wanted to get the $20, it'd be much more shifty and

underhanded in obtaining it.

Thanks, Mr. Belvedere.

I told you.

It's all about old people.

Just what I need, a change of pace.

Hi, Mrs. Dodson.

Wesley, what are you doing here?

What's that?

I'm bringing back all the stuff you bought me.

Why? I didn't ask you to do that.

Did I?

No, it's just everyone says I took advantage of you.

So, here.

go back to the U -Haul, start bringing the rest.

Anyone want this?

Nice to see you again, Mrs. Dodson.

Hello, Mr.

Belvedere. I guess I did go a little overboard.

I, uh, I just wanted to tell you how upset we all are about what Wesley did.

Oh, it's all right.

Not that I put anything past him. I don't think he really is such a bad boy.

always have our suspicions about that.

Little crook.

Stealing the $20 has finally proved it. Oh, he didn't take the money.

I gave it to him. I just forgot.

You forgot?

I forget about a lot of things.

I think I have Alzheimer's disease.

But just a few lapses of memory doesn't necessarily mean that you have... I

know, I know.

It might be something else.

That's what the doctors keep telling me. Of course.

Sometimes, I am standing in the middle of the room or outside on the lawn.

All of a sudden, I don't know what I'm doing, how I got there.

You know, Wesley still thinks that you think he stole the money.

I am sorry about that.

Perhaps it would be better if you sat him down and explained it. Oh, no.

No.

I don't want him to know.

I'm afraid pretty soon I won't be able to remember anything.

I won't even be able to take care of myself.

I don't want Wesley around to see that.

Well, that's everything.

It's all here except for the boomerang, and that's in the Huffnagle's dining

room.

Thank you, Wesley.

Well, it was nice knowing you.

Goodbye.

You know, I wasn't just hanging around to get stuff off you.

I like you.

I thought you liked me, too.

I guess you were wrong.

Let's go, Wesley.

Here, I forgot this.

I don't believe this.

Draft notice?

From Princeton. They said forget it.

They weren't impressed by roadside litter?

No, they liked that a lot.

Said my grades weren't good enough.

Oh, they still look at those pesky things?

Yeah.

I don't know.

Guess I'll just have to try studying.

We're back.

How was football practice?

Great. I put a tuna sandwich in Howie Huffnagle's helmet, and he didn't even

notice till he started sweating mayonnaise.

That's not so funny, champ.

Anyway, I got the mail. There's something for you here, Wes. Oh, yeah?

Hey, it's a Christmas card.

For Mrs. Dodson.

It is?

Won't you send me this? for. It isn't even Halloween yet.

Okay, Mr. Belvedere, we're ready to go.

Where are you going? I'm taking the girls to the retirement home.

While you're there, ask Mrs. Dodgson why she sent me a Christmas card.

Oh, Mrs. Dodgson, she's got a looney tune. Angela.

Well, she has. She's got Alzheimer's disease.

Huh? What are you talking about?

Hey, what's going on?

You guys aren't telling me something.

Wexley.

Mrs. Dodson has Alzheimer's disease.

What's that?

Well, it means she's kind of sick in the head, honey. It affects her thinking,

her memory.

That's why she thought you took her money, pal.

Because she just forgot she gave it to you.

Oh.

So why didn't anybody tell me?

Because Mrs. Dodson didn't want us to.

I think maybe she just wants you to remember her the way she was.

Well, that's stupid.

Hey, champ, I don't think that's such a good idea.

Why not?

Well, because you haven't seen her in a long time, and she's a lot different.

Yeah, she probably wouldn't even recognize you. Oh, yeah.

Nobody forgets Wesley P. Owen.

Hey, see my wheelchair?

just to play it safe.

Oh.

Did you make a wish?

Yeah, but you're still here.

Oh, we got you some presents, and look, we fixed your wheelchair real neat, see?

Hey, you must have put a lot of work into that, huh?

And the cake and the presents, oh, boy.

Hey, you did all this for me?

Yeah.

Well, who the hell asked you to?

Talk about touchy.

Wait a minute.

Come back here.

Why?

Well, you forgot to show me how the horn works.

Just push the button.

Uh -huh.

Hey, I like that.

Hey, what do you say, girls? Why don't you wheel me down to the east wing? It's

quiet hour down there.

Is that so?

I got your Christmas card and everyone told me you were sick and wouldn't

recognize me anymore.

Is that so?

It's okay if you forget stuff once in a while. I do too.

I mean, yesterday I forgot my lunch.

Actually, I didn't really forget it. Mr. Belvedere made me a sardine sandwich

and I just told him I forgot it.

Is that so?

Hey, what? What do you keep saying that for?

Are you mad at me or something?

It looks like rain.

Yeah, the weatherman said it might rain tonight with thunder and lightning and

everything. You remember when I was 15?

No. I had my first real date.

His name was Cal.

And I wore that organdy dress, you know? The one with the beautiful head

stitching.

Anyway... We were walking to the dance, and halfway down Sutton Street,

it began to pour, and my hair and my dress and

everything just got soaked.

Oh, but we had the best time anyway.

Come on, I don't know about any of that stuff.

I'm Wesley. This is 1986.

Is that so?

Wesley, I think we should go.

until she remembers me. Where's the... Come on, it's me.

We went to the movies and played miniature golf and had ice cream

Remember this?

Remember when I used to do this and you'd tell me my face would freeze?

I'm sorry.

All the fun we had. All our great times together.

It's like it never happened. Like we never knew each other.

But you did.

And that's what's important.

Yeah, I guess so.

Goodbye, Grandma.

It was nice having you.

Even for a little while.

rate, I'm very proud of Heather and Wesley.

They still visit the retirement home from time to time and I think the

experience has given them a better understanding and appreciation for those

their golden years.

As for me, I agree with Bernard Baruch who said, old age is always

15 years older than I am.

I'm not getting older, I'm getting sillier.