Original subtitles

Hey, Mr. Belvedere.

Hello, Wesley.

Have you and your sister finished your Easter baskets yet?

Well, Heather fell asleep watching TV.

But I finished coloring all my eggs, see?

Oh, very nice.

I can see a lot of effort went into these.

Thanks. You should see the big one I did.

I think it just woke up.

Now, calm down, Heather. I don't want you to crack.

Mr. Belvedere, look at me. What am I going to do?

I don't know.

A few jelly beans in the hair might set it off nicely.

I'm going to get you, Wesley.

I don't know how and I don't know when, but I am going to get you.

Ha!

She'll never get me right, Mr. Belvedere.

Not unless you fall asleep.

Who's got the notes on Parker versus Fox? That's going to be on the test for

sure. Ooh, I think I slept through that one.

Yeah, me too.

I've got them.

They're still out there, Belvedere.

Thanks for the update.

Sitting there in their little preppy sweaters.

Skipping Biff or whatever the hell they are.

Stop spying, George.

It's beneath even you.

No, it isn't.

Besides, it's my house, and I can do what I want.

Uh -oh, she's coming. That's natural.

Thanks for the coffee, Mr. Belvedere. Oh, it's my pleasure.

We're almost done.

Are they still here?

I hadn't noticed.

George, I know you're not crazy about my study group, but they're a big help to

me.

I know, I know.

Hey, so listen, after you give the three preps the heave -ho, you want to go out

and grab a pizza or something? Just the two of us.

Oh, well, actually, the gang and I were thinking of going out and grabbing a

couple of burgers, just to unwind a little.

Gee, I didn't know the mall shop was open this late.

Hey, why don't you come along with us? We'd love to have you.

No, thanks.

You kids run along.

Okay. See ya.

I could go for a pizza.

Never met her before.

Who cares when you dropkick your jacket? As you came through the door, no one

glared. But sometimes things get turned around and no one's spared.

All hands look out below.

There's a change in the status quo.

Gonna need all the help that we can get.

According to our new arrival.

Life is more than mere survival.

We just might live the good life yet.

Hello, Wesley. How was school today?

Lousy. They wouldn't let me sleep.

So?

I was up almost the whole night waiting for Heather to sneak in and get even.

But she never did.

Well, do you know your sister would never do anything like that?

She's a good egg.

Fine. She's probably forgotten the entire incident.

Hey, Mr. Belvedere. Hi, Heather.

She was.

You look awfully tired.

Maybe you ought to lie down and take a little nap.

We'll give it.

Don't talk with your mouth full.

It's probably that Swedish. I just asked you how your day was.

Oh.

Then I should probably say something like bra, Kevin.

How do you have day?

Hey, you speak Swedish?

Litegrann.

Great. Hey, maybe you can help me out. I kind of have a little problem.

What's the name? Greta or Ingrid?

Dagmar.

My next guest.

She's an exchange student from Stockholm, and I really like her.

The problem is her English isn't that good.

What do you want me to do? Ask her out on a date for me. Kevin.

No, come on, Mr. Belvedere. She'll be real impressed I got someone to ask her

out in Swedish.

Hello, Dagmar?

It's Kevin.

Yeah, hold on, Ski.

Hey,

Dagmar.

Well,

it's all set. Oh, great.

I pick her up tomorrow at seven.

Hey, Marshall.

Tesco, all that study and pay off?

I guess I did okay.

Got a 97.

Hey, that's great, Mom. Congratulations.

Yeah. Move over, Jacoby and Myers.

What you got there?

Oh, it's just a little car brochure.

I've been thinking that when I graduate and open my practice, we're gonna need

another car.

We're getting a Porsche?

I don't know. Maybe.

Huh. What's the matter? Are they out of Maseratis?

George, it's just a nice, sporty little car.

We're not gonna need a big one.

Yeah, Dad, I think it's a terrific idea.

I can drive this one, and Kevin can have the wagon.

Gee, thanks, Mom.

See ya.

Oh, I gotta go.

Who's out there?

Oh, it's not just Greg.

Oh, yeah? Yeah, we're all meeting over at Rhonda's tonight.

Oh, Mr. Belvedere, don't hold dinner for me, okay?

Fine.

I'm coming. I'm coming.

If you're getting that from me, I prefer the five speed.

If you want to drive a stick, Belvedere, go in the kitchen and grab a mop.

Problem, George?

It's Marsha.

All of a sudden, she's buying sports cars and running around with all those

little college friends. Wink and dinker.

I hardly get to see her anymore.

Oh.

Then maybe you should make the most of the time you do have.

Oh, yeah?

I could prepare a romantic little dinner for two, serve it, and then make myself

scarce.

Hey, that sounds great, Belvedere. You're right.

Fine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a menu to plan.

Morning, Mr. Belvedere.

Wesley.

What have you been?

under a beach towel with a spare tire pulled over me.

That's nice.

But why?

Because Heather's still out to get me. So I hid in the last place she'd ever

look and fooled her.

Would you like a little orange juice to go with your paranoia?

Yes, please.

Hey, Wes.

Sleep okay in the car?

You stay away from me, she -devil.

I'm taking Dagmar to the movies tonight. We're going to go see a Swedish film.

Oh, that's a wonderful idea.

Yeah, I was thinking maybe you could teach me some Swedish phrases like

good time or whoops, my hand slipped.

How about Dagmar?

Det här är min bror, min sister.

Yeah, what's that mean?

That means this is my brother and sister.

You're taking Heather and Wesley with you.

What? Oh, come on.

I'm not going to any stupid Swedish movie.

It's probably Pippi Longstocking.

I hate that broad.

Why do I have to die?

Because your father is surprising your mother with a candlelight dinner.

And I promised him good food, fine wine, and no children.

Hi,

kids. Morning, Mr. Belvedere. Anything wrong?

Nothing, Mrs. Owens. Coffee?

No breakfast.

I'm late for school.

But you will be home for dinner tonight, won't you?

Sure, I should be home by seven.

Yeah, I should be home by then, too.

George, did you just wink at Mr.

Belvedere? Why not?

You're never around.

Voila.

This ought to charm the pants -offer.

That's up to you.

Act off to the movies.

And after I've served you, I'll be toddling off myself.

Thanks, Belvedere. I really appreciate you going to all this trouble.

Well, I ought to go and check on dinner.

Why is it so dark in here?

Hello, Marsha.

Surprise.

What's all this?

Oh, just a little something I had arranged for the two of us.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Big night for surprises, I guess.

Anyway, I gotta get these notes over to Rhonda's. The gang's waiting.

Well, tell them old George said hi.

I will.

Oh, honey, this was really very sweet.

Oh, I am really starved.

Bye.

I hope she likes the shrimp.

Can you believe that?

I go to all the trouble of having you make this nice dinner, and she walks

George, I'm sure it's a very important little quiz.

Yeah, right. They all are.

Well, in any case, I'd better start carrying this away.

No, no, I'll leave it. I'll eat it. Fine.

Now, where are you going?

Excuse me?

Well, you made it for two.

Why not pull up a seat?

I mean, I'm sure you'd fix some real good stuff, and just because our nibs

make it doesn't mean we can't enjoy ourselves.

Right, Belvedere?

Right, George.

Let's eat.

Thank you.

Would you like some popcorn?

Oh, no, thank you, Kevin.

Still working on Milk Dead.

naked and rolling in the snow.

Do you do stuff like that?

Yeah, sure.

It feels good.

What is this?

It looks like a dead pigeon.

George, it's a squab.

What's that?

A dead pigeon.

Stuff isn't bad.

Actually, roast clob was quite a favorite when I worked for the royal

I guess they attract a lot of pigeons just standing around the way they do.

George, the royal family have always been a symbol of pride and inspiration

the English people.

Of course, you wouldn't understand that.

Since the nearest thing you colonials ever had to a royal family was the Dukes

of Hazzard.

I never knew those guys were such a big deal to you. Well, they are.

Tell you what, Belvedere.

Just to show there's no hard feelings, we'll have a toast. A toast to the royal

family.

All right.

Blended.

To the...

To the House of Windsor, may they live long and rule wisely.

Can't hear.

And may at least one of them find a job.

You know, this whole thing doesn't turn out so bad.

Good grub, few laughs, nice candles.

It's kind of pretty the way the flames seem to dance in your eyes.

it's good to have some company.

Right. Right.

And if it's just a couple of guys sitting down together, splitting a

what's the big deal, right?

Right, George.

Nothing wrong with that.

I'm Frederick. Is this the Owens love nest?

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Hey, Kevin.

Where's Heather?

Who cares?

I do. She's still out to get me.

I'm right here, Wesley.

What are you doing in front of me?

Oh, nothing. Just enjoying these nice, sticky nachos and giant orange drink

extra ice.

Come on, Heather. We're in public. Anything awful I ever did to you is in

privacy of our own home.

Get off already.

Shh.

I'm really sorry about that.

It's okay.

How shall we eat today?

Oh, Kevin, this is the good part.

Gonna profess his love to Olga?

They throw themselves into a fjord.

So romantic.

Wes, wake up. No.

Leave him be.

He's just a tired little fella.

Hey,

Belvedere.

Mind if I ask you something sort of personal?

Yeah, go ahead anyway.

You think I'm a jerk?

This is the trick question, isn't it?

I don't think you're a jerk.

In fact, I almost sort of like you a lot.

Thank you, Georgie.

And listen, just because I say I like you doesn't mean you have to say you

me. All right.

Hey, come on.

George, I like you too.

How much?

A buckle and a pick.

Thank you.

Do you guys mind if I take five?

Sure, Freddy boy.

I'll be back in a minute and I'll play you boys some nice show tunes.

Hey, pal, this whole thing was supposed to be for me and my wife.

But she decided she'd rather be out with a couple of young college guys.

Well, you're certainly showing her.

Well, all good things.

Hey, Belvedere. I know a little secret about you.

Oh, do you?

I know about that little book you write in.

What little book?

You know, your diary.

The one where you put all your snotty little comments in?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Anyway, it's not a daddy, it's a general.

And it's none of your B .I .B.'s work.

I'm sorry.

Fine. Let's talk about something else.

Fine.

Let's talk about Marsha.

Fine.

Sometimes she gives me a real pain.

You know something?

Sometimes she gives me one, too.

With her.

I'll take my coffee in the nook, Mr. Belvedere.

I'll drop these off at the cleaners, Mr. Belvedere.

Who died and made her queen?

Not me, that's for sure.

The thing is, she used to be happy being Mrs. George Owens.

Or at least I thought she was.

But now all she cares about is being Miss Big Deal Attorney -in -Law.

And I'm just getting in the way.

Now, George, pretty soon she's going to have her degree and her Porsche and her

preppy friends, and I'm going to lose her.

George, now you're being ridiculous.

She's going to leave, and I'm going to be all alone.

Except for you.

There, there.

I'm home.

You broke this man's heart.

Hello, Marsha.

Back so soon?

Sorry it got so late.

Me too, Cap.

We had fun without you.

Yeah, I can see that.

Actually, I had a rotten time.

I didn't want to have a romantic dinner with him.

I wanted to have a romantic dinner with you.

But, honey... Don't butt honey up.

You're always too busy flitting around with your...

Chad and Jeremy, or whatever their names are, care about his feelings.

Say, Belvedere, take it easy.

Oh.

I apologize.

I've been through rather a lot.

Come on, guys, I think it's time for us to go to bed.

I don't want to go to bed.

I want to talk.

Okay, fine.

You go first.

Look, George, when I went back to school, we both knew we would have to

some pretty big sacrifices.

I know.

I know.

But I didn't think you were going to miss dinner.

George.

Are you leaving me?

No.

Oh.

Why not?

I mean, you're smart and beautiful.

You're going to be real successful?

What are you hanging around me for?

That's a good question.

Look, honey.

I know sometimes I get all wrapped up in law school and myself.

And sometimes I forget about some other things that are even more important.

Like what?

Like being with my husband, whom I love very, very much.

A bushel and a peck.

Not so much Belvedere likes me.

A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck.

Come on, guys, upstairs.

Certainly.

Coming, George.

After you.

Oh, Mrs. Owens. Yes?

Do something about that mess, would you?

against me last night while I fell asleep in the movies, but she didn't.

driving me crazy.

I know.

It's more fun that way.

Mr. Belvedere, you've got to help me.

All right, Heather.

Stop tormenting your brother and do something to him. But I don't want to.

Heather, do what Mr. Belvedere tells you.

All right, all right.

sister.

Thank you, Heather.

Although it's scarcely eight o 'clock, the children and I have been

banished to our rooms as George and Marsha are finally having their romantic

dinner for two.

I certainly hope they're enjoying the squab croquettes.

I think I got all the bones down.

still can't believe george said he liked me if the truth be known i'm quite fond

of him too but that's my little secret and

it's going to stay that way