Original subtitles

Last week, we left Will and Dr. Smith trapped in a mysterious cave, unaware

inside, a space warp was about to open a ghostly door to an incredible haunted

world.

Do you see anything?

It looks like it gets bigger inside, but the robot can't fit through this

opening. Then he can stand out here on guard.

A little storm won't hurt him. That is all right, Will Robinson. I do not mind

weather. Better get Dr. Smith inside before he melts.

Go ahead, Dr. Smith.

After you, dear boy. I shall fight a rearguard action against the elements.

There's nothing to be afraid of in there now. Come on.

You see?

Nothing to worry about.

Forgive me, claustrophobia.

I have never been able to endure confinement in small places.

Oh, but they sure are handy.

Golly. A landslide sealed up the cave entrance.

A landslide.

Then we are entombed. We shall die like rats in the darkness of hunger. Oh, woe

is me. Come on, Dr. Smith. Someone will dig us out. They won't even know where

to look. The robot can tell them where we are.

That incompetent walking ingot.

No, William, we may as well face it.

We are entombed and we are doomed.

Well, this is no time to sit down. On the contrary, William, it is a time to

compose oneself to face doom bravely and with noble composure.

Well, I'm too young to die.

Where are you going?

I'm going to see if there's another entrance to the cave. William, don't

me here alone!

William!

Oh, sadness will follow.

My end is surely near.

Thank you.

gone back to the ship.

We'd better start back. Maybe we'll catch up with them on the way.

We'd better get back to the ship.

Emergency! Emergency!

What's wrong?

What is it? Emergency!

Emergency! To the rescue!

What's the matter with him?

Overheated circuits?

Well, if it was possible, I'd say he's hysterical.

Emergency! To the rescue!

What could be wrong with him?

Well, something's wrong, but whatever it is, our metallic friend doesn't make

much sense.

Emergency! Emergency!

Will Robinson and Dr. Smith are trapped in a cave by a landslide. Are they hurt?

My senses indicate they were both in good physical condition. How long this

condition prevails will depend on the air supply.

Will and Smith? Oh, Don, the robot says they're both trapped in a cave.

Oh, no. We'll need tools. Take shovels. They need me to dig with them. We'll

start right away. All right.

I'm coming with you.

Oh dear, I'm afraid he's fallen into some crevice, perhaps hurtling to the

centre of this horrible planet.

you

This place, in the year 1497, Anno Domini, Hamish of Glamis,

9th Laird of Glamis, was executed for high treason against his liege lord and

master, James Stuart, king of Scotland.

Scotland?

I'm back on Earth!

Use your wit.

Think clearly. There must be some way out of this.

And above all, be calm, Zachary. Be calm. Be calm.

Be calm.

We'll lose Rock and Shale. We ought to be able to break through it in no time.

There's no passage here, nothing but solid rock.

Don, what could have happened?

Well, we know the magnetic field of this planet's unstable, Maureen.

And? And I think the storm created a warp in that field and Will went through

it. You mean he passed through into another dimension?

Well, how do we get him back?

We can only try to duplicate that warp effect.

Will it work?

Well, if Will stays in the same space continuum, yes, I think there's a chance

we can get him back.

Who do you think you're trying to frighten?

That's a child's play for any good magician. An amateur at that.

Where'd you get that getup? Did he use costume sales?

Hey, cut it out.

Where are you?

Over here.

I said to cut it out.

But you know, that is a pretty good trick.

To a wooden mirror, I guess.

Great horned toads, have you no respect for a ghostie?

Why don't you stop fooling around and take me to your leader?

Me what?

You aliens are all alike.

Never come out and say what's on your mind. Never save time and trouble.

always trying to scare somebody.

Tell me, are you mortal?

Well, of course. What are you?

I told you what I was. I'm a ghostie.

If you're not going to be sensible about this, please leave. I kind of want to

thank her.

Ah!

Are you no a field?

Not even a wee bit?

Not at all.

Now, how do I get out of here?

Oh, how does he get out? Oh, that's a good one. How does he get out of here?

Don't you know where you are, laddie?

Now we're getting someplace.

Where are we?

in the famous halted ruin of Glamish Castle.

And I am the resident ghostie.

Hamish Rue Glamish.

Ninth Laird of Glamish.

You mean... You're... The very same, laddie.

Oh, would you look at that. Oh, the dust and dust on this thing.

I'm telling you, things have gone to sixes and sevens around here in the last

few hundred years.

All right, Daddy, where's your man? Speak up. Who are you?

Will Robinson.

Robinson, did you say?

You know, that's a goodly name.

I knew Robinson once.

Yes, he was a surgeon.

A surgeon?

He took care of me, Galt. Oh, you should have seen the foot on me. It was that

big.

It's still a bit swollen, but that's because they cut off me head before the

cure was complete.

Go ahead, you can touch it. Oh, but be careful now. Be careful.

I'm saying this again. Excuse me.

Excuse me. I forgot something.

You see, it's only the soft music of the pipes that keeps Angus calm.

Piping is grand, lady, but it surely takes the wind out of a man.

I ask you a question. What is that?

Ah,

Angus, is it?

Sure, he's the curse of Glamis.

What is he? What's he like?

It's a wee bit difficult to describe poor Angus.

Part human, you know.

Human? Oh, yes, yes. Why shouldn't he be, too? Isn't he me own great, great,

great granduncle? Or is it great, great, great...

Great grad, Uncle Iyer, that's it. Oh, these generations are very confused,

confused. What else is he like?

Oh, now, like I said, it's very hard to say.

You could call him the thing that goes bump in the night.

He also eats people.

Is it safe out here?

Oh, to be sure, to be sure, yes.

Inglis loves the soft music of the pipes.

Told you now. He is a wee bit odd, you know.

Down, down, down, Angus, down now. Easy.

You better be off inside.

He becomes uncontrollable when he smells fresh meat. Now off with you, off, I

say. Off.

Come back with explosives and take that cave apart.

Will's got to be in there. Mom!

Will?

Where have you been?

I'm not sure.

Then I went along this corridor and out this door, and here I am.

Don't you believe me?

Will, I think you'd better go to bed. You're overtired.

I don't have a fever, Mom.

I tell you, that's just the way it happened. I was back on Earth. I was

We'll talk about it later.

I guess I'd better go to bed.

Go ahead, dear.

Doesn't anybody believe me?

Oh, now, that's enough of that.

You don't believe that stuff about ghoulies and ghosties and strange

do you? I believe something happened to Will in that cave.

And instead of everybody doubting him, I think it should be investigated.

Oh, come on, Judy. Will had a rough time in there. He imagined things.

Oh, no, Don. Will's not the kind of boy to imagine things.

Judy's right.

There is something in that cave that bears investigating.

I couldn't agree more, madam.

William was in that cave with me, and there was no apparent way for him to get

out. Well, I'm not about to start believing in ghosts, Scottish ghosts or

other kind. Good night.

I'll talk to Will about it in the morning.

William?

Come in, Dr. Smith.

I thought you'd be awake, and so I brought you some milk.

No, thank you. I don't want any milk.

As you wish.

Here, my dear boy.

I know how you feel.

It's very hard to tell the truth and not be believed.

The same thing has happened to me so many times that I always found it very

disconcerting.

However, on some occasions, I have managed to establish my veracity by

some physical evidence.

Now, if you had any such evidence... Evidence of what?

Of the fact that you were actually back on Earth.

How could I ever prove anything like that?

Perhaps you picked up a trifle on the way.

No.

Wait a minute.

Yes? Yes?

Yes? How about this?

A weed? It was growing all over the castle wall.

That's hardly conclusive evidence, William. Plants like this could grow

on the planet.

However, I shall take it along and give it some scientific tests and we shall

see.

Good night.

Good night.

that I just couldn't.

No.

Scotch ivy, indigenous to the British Isles, particularly the Ayrshire

of Scotland.

I knew it.

The boy has stumbled onto something at entrance through the dimensions of back

to Mother Earth. Oh, joy, oh, bliss.

I must act at once.

Will Robinson.

Yes, Robert?

Your father ordered me to patrol the area while he is away.

I must warn you.

It is not safe to venture beyond the perimeter of the ship, Will Robinson.

Well, it's all right. I'm not going to go very far.

Say, did you hear any music out here?

Certain cacophonous sounds were received and recorded by my sensors.

Sounds about right.

Now, don't worry about me. I won't be going very far.

Don't you try to play any of your sneaky tricks on me again.

I didn't play any tricks on you. Oh, didn't you indeed, huh? And how come

this poor tormented ghost of Hamish Rouglamish is in the perdition that he

It isn't perdition.

Of course it's perdition. Would you look at it?

What's wrong with it? It's the gout, you clot. It's the gout.

After 400 years it's come back to plague me. If that's not perdition, I don't

know what is.

Ghosts don't have gout.

Now he's trying to murder me, the wretch.

I touched you. Of course you touched me.

You did touch me.

I'm flesh and blood again.

I'm no longer a ghostie.

Now look at the mess you've got me into.

I thought you'd be glad.

My head won't come off either. Have you no notion how this happened?

It must have happened when you passed through the space warp.

Space warp?

Indeed. Will you give over your whining explanations and tell me how I get back

to where I belong?

You mean you want to be a ghost again?

Do you think I want to go through another miserable lifetime of this gout

foot? Well, I do not.

And besides, who will look after poor Angus when I'm not around?

Well,

I don't know about that, but my mother might be able to help your gout. She's

awfully good at doctoring. Ah, your mother and... Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, well, I think we...

We best try something.

All right.

Do what you have to do, Lenny. But I ain't going to lie down.

Watch out for your gaps.

It just can't be.

I can see him and I can touch him.

But I just don't believe it.

I didn't come here to be insulted.

You say you're Hamish, ninth laird of Glamis, huh? Aye. And you're a ghost.

I am.

Or at least I was.

Now give me your hand, please.

The gout's in me foot, woman, not in me hand.

Do as Mom says, Hamish.

No.

All right.

What's yon dagger for?

I'm going to take a sample of your blood.

What?

I fall among vampires, demons, and ghosts, and all the pearls of darkness

out. I'm going to run a test on this blood to see if you're really human or

I believe I can provide assurances on that point.

Permit me to introduce myself.

I am Dr. Zachary Smith.

Never mind that, Smith. Just get to the point.

The point is this.

What is it?

It's a kind of ivy, indigenous to the British Isles, and particularly to the

Ayrshire district of Scotland.

Well, that settles it, then.

We must radio John out with a relay station.

He can explain how to set up that magnetic warp apparatus.

The only problem is, John, we can't generate enough power to maintain the

for more than a few seconds, which means only one besides Hamerson will go

through. I see what you mean.

You're going to be needed at the magnetizer controls.

I could go.

Oh, no, dear.

No chance, Judy.

Not without knowing what's beyond that warp.

May I propose a solution?

Now, let's hear it, Smith.

I shall go myself.

You? Why?

I am eminently qualified from a scientific point of view.

I shall return to Earth with this briefcase containing star charts,

our exact location in space.

Within a matter of months, a relief expedition will be on the way to rescue

of you. Now, what could be simpler than that?

How do we know this isn't one of your tricks, Smith?

Tricks? Aye.

I'm afraid you'll just have to trust me.

That's like trusting a fox in a henhouse.

Spare me the poisonous barbs, Major. They fall on deaf ears.

I have proposed a logical solution. Now you find something better.

Donnie's right.

It's our best chance.

But... No buts. Now, you set it up that way and don't wait for me if I'm not

back. That warp could close up at any time.

All right, let's get back to the Jupiter and pick up some superchargers.

Rush, Smith, you and the robot stay here and guard this.

When we get back, we'll assemble it inside the cave.

I knew they'd see it my way.

and I'll take the high road and I'll be in Scotland before ye and me and my true

love will never meet again by the bonny, bonny banks of Loch Lomond.

Oh, dearie, dearie me, what a horrible sound.

Well,

what do you want, you bobble -headed booby?

Some sounds are even too much for my electronic hearing, Dr. Smith.

I see what you mean.

Well, sir, I might as well say farewell to you now, since I shall be departing

in the morning.

And let me tell you that our association has been most unpleasant, and I do not

regret its termination in the very least.

Mutual, Dr. Smith.

What did you say?

I said do not be so certain you will not be coming back.

I shall never return, you tint -enabulating tin can.

Never.

Ah, my dear sir, what lovely, lovely music. So delicate.

Quiet! You're disturbing me, music weasel snout. My sincere apologies, my

sir. But I did think that since we are to journey together through time and

space, we should know a bit more about each other.

I am Dr. Zachary Smith, psychic investigator extraordinaire.

I am a student of the occult, a sophisticated man of the world, a bon

You're nothing but a nasty, mealy -mouthed gizzard. That's what you are.

I beg your pardon. And a treasonous to the first water. Oh, I know your kind

very well, Smith.

You have no intention of sending a rescue back to your comrades when you're

on Earth.

And I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

But there's nothing but dirty shirts in that wee bag of yours there.

My dear Hamish. Quiet, that's enough.

Don't deny it.

Very well.

But under the circumstances, I would find it most inconvenient for them to

return to Earth to bear witness against me.

I knew it, I knew it. But surely the rule of self -preservation was the same

your time, was it not? There were always self -seekers. Well,

I beg you, sir, I implore you.

Do not betray me to the others.

I have no intention of it.

It has always been my belief that a man finds his own just desserts.

And now, good night to you, Dr. Smith.

All right, as soon as you get to Earth, you make sure the Space Authority gets

this. And up here, Smith is here.

All right, Marie, let's get this activated.

Goodbye, dear William.

Try to cherish the priceless bits of wisdom that I've managed to pass on to

Take care, Dr. Smith.

And Penny, how I shall miss you, dear Penny.

We'll be seeing you again soon, Dr. Smith. Of course you will.

Goodbye.

Now I'm ready.

Stand by.

You've got 20 seconds.

Leave an hour.

Oh, dear.

Don't worry, Mom. We'll get Will back.

I hope.

What a grand, cozy feeling, huh?

Hey, bish!

Hey, this rouglam is! Wait for me!

Did you hear that, Dinkus? Did you hear that, huh?

Now, now, none of that, you naughty boy. None of that, I say.

Give him a bit of a fright, all right.

Just to let him know what kind of a place he's in, huh?

Hamish, are you there?

Hamish?

Oh, good heavens.

It worked.

It's Earth.

I'm back on Earth.

Is that you, Hamish?

Forgive me. I forgot that you're not used to such terrible sights, huh?

Did the cold chills run up and down your spine, huh? Yes, they did. Indeed, they

did. Good, good.

And your teeth?

Did they chitter -chatter and gnash?

Yes, so much so that they still hurt.

Oh, I meant rare for them all together, huh?

How did I get here?

And what happened to that horrible creature?

Hush now, hush.

You're speaking of Angus, a dear relative.

A relative, I see.

Well, I'm sure he'd be much more charming under other circumstances.

Yes, well, now, come along now. We'd better be going inside.

Yes, my baggage. Ah, just so.

What is it? Here we are.

Isn't this cozy?

Cozy indeed.

I think not.

What is this I'm seeing?

A chopping block.

A chopping block. What?

And this is the chopper.

And this makes a man laugh. Moments very comfortable indeed.

Listen, would you like to try it, huh?

Heaven forbid.

Now, let's not dawdle any longer, sir. Just show me the way out of here and

to my beautiful earth.

Ah, just so, just so.

You might try that door over there.

That door? Aye.

You're quite sure?

Oh, certain.

World.

Dear world.

make it easy for a man to go from one world to the next, huh?

Although, my dear sir, I must implore you, let me return to my friends at

if you please.

Your friends, huh? The ones that you were so anxious to leave behind, is it,

huh? Well... Well, no matter.

There's the door, laddie.

The door.

But remember, Uncle Angus will be waiting on the other side for you.

Uncle?

Angus. Help!

Help me! You shouty, no one can hear you. Get me out of here. You must get me

out of here.

Hush, hush, hush, lad.

You'll grow to love this place in a hundred years or so.

A hundred years?

My dear sir, I shall be dead of salvation much before then. Oh, that you

indeed, laddy.

And maybe then, as a ghosty, you'll provide a fitting companion for myself.

A ghosty? An earthbound spirit?

Me?

For a man of your miserable disposition, it's the only fitting thing.

Miserable disposition, indeed. I don't think you should talk about miserable

dispositions. You miserable spectre! After all, no one in my family turned

traitor to the king.

What?

Your family?

And what were they, mate, I ask, ah?

A miserable bunch of ragpickers, I'll want. How dare you, sir?

In Scotland. Oh, to be sure, to be sure. Say you so indeed.

Say I so indeed.

And let me add you further.

I am direct descent to the...

Not me.

Oh, I'm dreaming.

I must be dreaming. Oh, the pain.

The pain.

Don't make the ropes too tight. Oh, tell your silly klutz.

Now, down. Down. No, no. No, no. No.

No.

Go ahead.

Put the poor man out of his misery.

Shameful. Shameful. You nasty creature. You caused a man to miss his job.

Oh, we'll give it another try.

Whenever you're...

Doctor Smith!

What are you doing here?

Will you help me, save me? Don't let him chop off my head. I should say not. Who

ever heard of such a thing? Now, now, now, lady, there are great issues at

here. Once his miserable, worthless head rolls in the dust, I shall be free to

enter into my eternal rest.

I have never heard of anything so utterly selfish.

Selfish? I'm thinking not of myself, but of poor Angus out there. Think of him,

laddie, lying there in the bottom of that lake for 900 years, all covered

slimy crawly things and in that horrible monster shape of his.

Now, once I'm free, he'll be free too.

Now, stand aside, ladies, stand aside, and I'll be over in a snick -snack job.

Dr. Smith isn't a good man, but he's not a bad one either.

The thing is, he's alive.

He's a man like you were once.

Remember how it was when you could be strong and weak all at the same time?

When you wanted to do good things, but they turned out bad because you were

human and a man like Dr. Smith.

Angus, please, ask Hamish to let Dr.

Smith go.

You put Hamish Rue Glamis to shame.

What about Dr. Smith?

Ah, yes.

Well, all right. Take him. Take him and go back where you belong.

Thanks, Hamish.

And thank Angus, too. Aye, we'll go off with you.

Yes, pretty good.

for one thing. What?

I sure feel sorry for poor Hamish and Angus back there.

Sorry indeed, the back of my hand to the both of them.

However, it might perhaps be the time for charity to outweigh justice.

Well, maybe a bit of a tune will cheer us up, eh, Angus?

Mayor de Glamis.

Yes? Who calls Hamish Roo Glamis?

It's your father, Hamish.

Father? I haven't heard from you in a long time.

Hamish, my son, you failed to take your righteous revenge.

I know, father, I know.

But like you always say, I am a bit of a fool.

Hamish, you might have lost your chance for eternal rest.

You were guilty of charity, Hamish.

Yes, I... I suppose so. And for that, Hamish, lair of Glamis, there can be but

one judgment.

Come home, Hamish.

Oh, you... You mean for... You've earned your rest. Now get a move on.

Oh.

What... What about poor Angus, father?

Oh, take him along.

Agus, come on out, Daddy.

Out. Come on out up on there.

Here, give me your hand.

if you ask me. No one did, you Neanderthal ninny. And spare me the

libs. All right, all right, wait.

Now, you're in the house, Dr. Smith, and the mother reacts in fear.

Let's hear it.

Play doesn't need a director. It needs a referee.

Now, when you're all ready to take this seriously, call me!

Do not leave, Will Robinson.

We need you.

We don't need the writer or the director. All we need is the star.

Me. Penny, let's try it for my entrance.

I will knock and you will answer.

What was my line again?

Just one moment.

Oh, yes. Now I remember.

We're waiting for the knock at the door, Dr. Smith.