Original subtitles

Last week, as you recall, we left Will and the robot working with Dr. Smith on

his rainmaking device, unaware that they were soon to be shanghaied on an

incredible voyage through outer space.

Ready on the left.

Ready on the right.

Ready on the firing line.

Oh, no. I think it's headed for the Jupiter.

Ridiculous. Will Robinson is correct. Your calculations are snafu, Dr. Smith.

Oh, dear.

Go ahead and hit the ship.

Everybody, hide or run.

Well,

it missed the ship, but I don't know how.

A little bit of luck.

Smells as though someone just blew out 10 ,000 candles.

I think it smells like the Fourth of July.

Well, if you ask me, it smells like Smith.

We'd better start repairing this.

Come on, Penny, we'll get the toolkit.

Okay.

You know, until we make a new set of instruments, we're going to have to rely

our senses to tell what kind of weather's blowing on the wind.

There's a piece of the casing that contained the charge.

Nitrochloric acid.

Phosphorus. And nitroglycerin.

Well, aren't those some of the chemicals that we have in our lab?

Had, Maureen.

Will!

Did anything happen?

Oh, I see that it did.

Well, that's the end of Dr. Smith's rain -making experiment.

And the end of Dr. Smith.

Where is he?

Back there. He asked me to come here and ask you if it was raining before he

came. Well, as you can see, it has been raining.

It's been raining flack.

It's a miracle none of us were hit, or the ship.

Now, you go back and tell Dr. Smith that I want to see him right now.

Yes, sir, but I don't think he'll come.

All right, then.

He can stay out there till it really rains, and then some.

Oh, then I will.

Don't worry about Dr.

Smith. Oh, I failed to drop that time.

It's wet.

Experiment concluded and successful.

The wetness on the palm of your hand, Dr. Smith, is cold sweat, usually

by fear.

Indeed, and what have I to fear, you nattering ninny? Do you wish me to draw

a diagram? As a little old rainmaker, Dr. Smith, you have a lot to learn.

Spare me your people attempts at humor.

Where is that boy?

Why hasn't he come?

The reason is obvious. The best laid plans of Mice and Smith.

Gang at the Glay.

You are in hot water, Dr. Smith.

Up to your neck.

I may be trying to convince the heavens to release a bit of rain.

Surely they'll understand that. Do you want to bet?

Certainly not.

Betting is vulgar.

What's that?

I just saw a shadow on those rocks.

Will? Will, my dear boy, is that you?

No!

Some poor unfortunate obviously made an involuntary landing, wouldn't you say?

Affirmative.

On this, though, what extraordinary creatures.

Poor devil.

Stuck into space when the hull split apart, probably.

A reasonable deduction, but not entirely true.

Is it possible it could be made to fly?

Possible, but highly improbable. You are planning a getaway, Dr. Smith?

We shall see. Yes, indeed, we shall.

As for you, sir, mind your manners if you intend to keep your friends.

This will bear a little looking into, I think.

Hold your tongue and come along.

Fugitives are castaways by the look of them.

Planning a getaway, are you?

Well, Admiral Zark is not a villus to helping those who can help him.

If I can make mariners out on them...

You haven't seen the last of Admiral Thark, Mr. Kidnow.

Not by a long shot.

Oh, someone say something to me.

Even a friendly smile would be enough.

Judy.

Oh, sadness. Oh, sorrow. We were such good chums.

Major, I give you permission to talk to me as harshly as you like.

Insult me, please, Major.

Oh, dear, not even a single venomous word.

In that case, I have no choice but to remove myself at the earliest possible

moment from this torment of ostracism.

By a fortunate happenstance, I have discovered a vehicle which, with a few

repairs, will take me into a silence that is far, far better than the silence

Prince.

I shall take with me only those few necessaries which will enable me to

until my untimely end. With your permission, I should like to borrow a

kit.

Yes, dear girl.

Adieu.

Adieu.

Adieu.

I don't know. He may

really mean it.

Especially if he's found the vehicle.

Oh, I think he was just saying that to make us feel sorry for him.

As a matter of fact, I did feel sorry for him.

I don't feel a bit sorry for him.

Oh, poor Dr. Smith.

Poor Dr. Smith.

Oh, poor Dr.

Smith. Say, why don't we throw him a party just to show him how happy we are

that he blew up our weather station?

Now, look, I don't care whether he's telling the truth or not about finding

vehicle. And one thing's certain, he's incapable of repairing it.

So whatever scheme he's got up his sleeve to get off the hook, just

this. Until further notice, Dr. Smith is off limits.

My sentiments exactly.

What are you trying to do, ruin everything, you lame brain lump?

I wish to correct your omissions, Dr. Smith.

Without proper caulking, adequate pressure within the ship cannot be

You could not survive in the vacuum of space.

Simple, Simon, don't you realize?

that this pitiful rattletrap of a vehicle will convince the Robinsons that

will be responsible for my death if they let me go?

As humanitarians, they will at once regret the cruel and unusual punishment

they've bestowed upon me and restore me at once to my rightful place in their

midst.

Oh, dear, now I really must rest my back as extremely delicate.

You, sir, will come along and give me adequate warning when the Robinsons'

curiosity induces them to come and see me at work.

There.

Oh, dear.

What

a

foul weaver of cowardly conspiracy that fellow is.

He and Kidno are two of a kind.

Schemes, rascals.

If I didn't need his help, I'd have him flogged for this.

Scamping his work like a galley scallion.

Oh, well.

Hardly fitting words for an admiral.

But needs must when the devil drives.

Warning! Warning!

Danger! Warning!

Danger! Warning!

Warning!

Will you stop the platter, you bubble -headed booby?

A person is approaching.

That's better.

What kind of a person?

Except for the diminutive part, sounds exactly like me.

Well, I suppose we'd best get back to the alien ship.

Is he coming this way?

He will be here directly.

Good. It will give me a chance to convince him.

What you are doing is not honest, Dr. Smith.

Spare me the accurate appraisal, Dunderhead.

There really is a spaceship.

Looks like it's a pretty good one, too.

In a manner of speaking.

You are correct, Will Robinson.

Have you no greeting for me, dear boy?

Well, tell Dr. Smith I'm sorry, but he's still off limits.

That is, he's ostr... Ostr... Ostracized.

Yeah, that's right.

Well, tell Dr. Smith not to worry, because I don't think that the silent

treatment will last too long.

But I have my pride, you know. I cannot allow myself to be treated like a

pariah. I made the only choice that was open to me. Did you hear that, Will

Robinson? Uh -huh.

Then I do not have to repeat that either.

I see you've been working on a spaceship.

Tell Dr. Smith you did a real good caulking job on the hatch.

Thank the young man.

Thank you.

The hatch?

Who is responsible for this?

Do not look at me.

Tell Dr. Smith that I'm sorry that he has to go. But I understand how he feels

about being off limits and everything.

And tell him that if I can help in any way... Oh, he can. He really can. I

like a spare astral compass and some food. A few pressure patches and some

food. A little fuel and whatever small delicacies in the way of food that he

spare.

Tell Dr. Smith I'll do the best I can, and then I'll see him later.

Thanks, young man.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

They'll never let me go once he tells them how ill -prepared I am for such a

fight. And don't you dare to ask me if I want a bet on that.

No one would take a bet on such skullduggery, Dr. Smith.

Silence, you presumptuous pigwit.

I agree with you, laddie.

An excellent caulking job.

Admiral Zark's hand has not lost its cunning.

Or his spirit, its determination.

Cast me adrift to perishing space, would you, Mr. Kidner? Oh, well, you're

wrong. You're wrong, you mutinous dog.

Dr. Smith?

Boy, come along.

Don't dawdle in the companionway.

There's work to be done.

Come along, boy. Come along.

Man to help.

Man to help.

Quartermaster Pro Tem Boy, your duty is to obey orders, not ask questions.

Sir, I just want to know where we're going, because wherever it is, I don't

to go. I live here with my family, and you have no right to drag me aboard.

Sir, boy, sir!

When you address an admiral of the Imperial Cassiopeian Fleet, I'll relay a

signal to your grandfather, informing him that you are now under the

of Admiral Zark.

You'll be well taken care of, boy.

If you mean Dr.

Smith, he's not my grandfather, and I don't want any...

taking care of me except my own family, sir.

Listen, boy, he who ships with Admiral Zark ships to glory.

Your family will be proud of you.

They'd rather have me with them.

By order of Admiral Zark, for the good of the fleet, for the honor of your

family, you are now articled as a volunteer.

Attend to your health, mister.

Stand by.

Blast off.

Nothing makes a man more proud in his profession than a splendid liftoff.

You'll get your space legs in just a few moments, Larry.

Ah, there's Cepheus on the starboard row. Here, take a look.

Good old Cepheus.

Send a flare of friendship out to him.

I think we're still on the ground, sir. Are you presuming to question my

navigation on my bridge, quartermaster?

The chronometer seems to have suffered, too.

Ah, there she goes.

Nell Desperandum.

It'll all be repaired, lad, after I've dined.

Attend to table, boy.

Aye, aye, sir.

Did it again.

Excellent work.

Done to a turn.

Had some experience in the galley, have you?

That roast was cooked by my mother, sir. It wasn't really intended for you. It

was meant for Dr.

Smith. Bah!

Do you happen to know where he is, sir?

Carousing! In some infamous grog shop, no doubt.

More wine!

Ah, boy.

We'll attend to the damage presently.

Duty can wait on an excellent repast, eh?

Oh, duty.

It's a word that's why Mr. Kidno seems to have forgotten.

But I'll make him remember it. That I will.

There'll be no quarter for Mr. Kidno when I catch up with him. And

when he learns what punishment I've devised, his eyes... will start from

sockets in mortal terror.

Mr. Kibno!

Take that!

And that!

And that!

That! And that!

Who said that?

Yes, I put him to bed and told him to save his wild stories for the morning.

Let's see now.

An alien spaceship, a rough, tough admiral who shanghies children, a Dr.

who can't be found, let alone a robot.

It's wild enough to be believable.

Say, where did Will say he found that ship?

Over in the Rock Canyon area, I believe.

Well, we could see the rocks with a scope, but, uh, well, anything below

no. Something tells me you're planning to investigate.

Well, only to find out how much truth there is to the Dr. Smith story about

finding a ship. Well, certainly not Will's about an admiral.

Aren't you even curious about Will's story, Dad? No, just... fascinated by

boy's fantastic imagination.

Admiral Zark of the Imperial Cassiopeian Navy.

Wow. Do we go out there in the morning?

Yeah, I guess so.

What'd you find?

A burned -out propulsion unit.

At least I guess that's what it was. And a slew of other instruments that could

be in working order or not. I'm not familiar with half of them.

Lower deck looks like it could have been crew's quarters.

Not Admiral's quarters?

No evidence that it was even used by a midshipman.

But it is an alien ship, all right.

So at least that part of Smith's story, as well as Will's, is correct.

Well, I guess you owe Will an apology for that part.

But what do you owe Smith, if he could find him?

No, I'm still working on that one.

Well, there's no hurry. This ship isn't going anywhere.

Nor is Smith.

You know, John, it might be kind of interesting if we could pretend that he

What do you mean?

Well, just suppose that...

Are you going to lie on the sack all day? It is well past breakfast time.

Did you say breakfast time?

I said it was well past breakfast time.

Oh.

That hard bed leaves a great deal to be desired.

My back is a disaster area.

Do you suppose Will has arrived with the supplies I ordered?

If you mean food, you should say food.

Hold your tongue, silly goose.

Food is essential to sustain the inner man.

Nobody seems to understand that but me.

Ah, the dear boy kept his word. Now, what have we here?

It is not one of the extras you ordered, Dr. Smith.

However, it is an extra propulsion unit from the Jupiter II surplus.

The compliments of the Jupiter II, bon voyage.

It is one of Will's jokes.

Negative. The handwriting indicates that the message came from Major West.

What do you find so funny, you hardware hyena? Major West is calling your bluff,

Dr. Smith. He believed you meant it. I think that is very funny.

Silence, you sniggering cinderbox!

Mr.

Spindle -X, what have you done with that lad?

If you mean Will Robinson, General... General!

I'm an admiral of the imperial fleet, you bumbling ignoramus.

Where is he?

Well, you see, your worship, my metallic friend will explain all.

Begging the admiral's pardon, sir, but if my senses serve me correctly, Will

Robinson is now safe and sound in the bosom of his family.

Most regrettable. I could have made a man out of him instead of a mollycoddle,

drowned with mother love.

You seem to have shown some resourcefulness this morning, Mr.

Spindlelegs. This power unit will serve my purpose admirably.

You may take it aboard.

But I had nothing to do with it, sir.

Modesty ill becomes a man of your staggering vanity, Mr.

Spindlelegs. Take it aboard. We shall cast off the moment it's installed.

We, sir?

You seem to be afflicted by some unwarranted fears for your safety.

Am I to understand that you would prefer not to sail with Admiral Duck?

I would prefer not to sail with anyone, sir.

Indeed. It seems to me I distinctly remember you're telling the lad that you

intended to sail in my ship.

Now, hoist the engine aboard, sir, and don't try my patience any further.

Yes, your worship.

Yes, indeed, your worship.

Well, you heard what he paid.

Hoist to the board.

He said for you to hoist to the board, Dr. Smith.

You know very well that my condition does not warrant such manual labor.

That does not compute.

Compute my foot? You down there!

Didn't you hear what I said?

Hoist to the board! Yes, Your Worship. Aye, aye, sir.

Hi,

Admiral. Have you seen Dr. Smith this morning? Good morning, boy.

Climb the rigging. I just want to know if you've seen Dr. Smith this morning.

Didn't you hear what I said, boy?

Climb the rigging.

And now we are ready for takeoff, Mr.

Kidnow!

I'm on my way!

You'll rue the day you ever cross me, Mr.

Kidnow!

taking off.

Yes, we're looking at it right here.

I can't understand it. Dr. Smith couldn't have gotten that propulsion

work. Will said that propulsion unit was all Admiral Thark needed.

Where's Will now?

Well, he was afraid the Admiral would Shanghai Dr. Smith, so he went out there

to warn them.

You've just got to take us back, sir.

You could drop us off and then go wherever you wanted to.

There, there, laddie. Just a momentary pang of homesickness, that's all it is.

Quite understandable.

You're a plucky one returning here.

But I shall expect you to write to your mother at least once a week while we're

away. Couldn't resist the great adventure with Admiral Zark, could you

Fess up, ladders! Space is in your blood as it is in mine.

I just came back to get Dr. Smith.

Of course, of course.

Quartermaster!

Aye, aye, sir.

We shall bear on juvenile Ganubi, Quartermaster.

Zubin el -Ghanoubi it is.

Otherwise known as the southern claw of a scorpion.

Knowledgeable little rascal, aren't you?

Go below!

Aye, aye, sir.

Take the wheel, lad.

Go on, take the wheel. It won't bite you.

That's a good lad.

It's good to have somebody sturdy and dependable by my side.

Where are we? I think that's Zubinil Ganubi to the starboard bowser.

Ah, so it is.

Harder port to Neoplasidas.

Harder port, lad!

Ah, that's a good lad, Midshipman Robinson.

Midshipman? Admiral Zark is sufficiently impressed with your abilities, me lad,

to reward them as they deserve.

Sail with Zark, and you'll be first mate in a year or two.

We'll run a splendid ship together, you and I, midshipman. The pride of the

fleet when we sail into our home port with Mr.

Kidnow's head hanging from the highest yard arm.

However,

never make the mistake of assuming that my liking for you will excuse a

dereliction of duty, midshipman.

Discipline will always come first with me, as it always has.

My father's like that when we're in space.

No one is like Admiral Zok, Mitchell.

Maybe the ship's logged.

Could give us a clue to their whereabouts if I could decode it.

Let's get back to the ship.

It's your watch, robot.

When there is work to be done to be done, a sailor's lot is not a happy one.

Oh, big arm.

Oh, William.

He had me swabbing decks, scrubbing bulkheads, polishing brass.

All ignominious tasks for a man of my quality.

I would not be in this predicament if your family hadn't sent me to company.

None of us would be in this predicament if you hadn't made threats you weren't

going to keep, Dr. Smith.

Be that as it may, we must find some way of making him take you back to your

sorrowing family, William, regardless of what may happen to me.

Well, I tried to talk to him, but he's got his mind fixed on just one

destination, and he knows enough about navigation to get us there.

Do you suppose he knows enough about navigation to get us back to Earth,

William? I guess so, but I don't think it would fit in with his plans.

One can but try.

And now I must make myself presentable before I speak to him.

Ah, yes.

What have we here?

I think it might just do the trick.

Now come along.

I was seized and cast adrift in a leaky space cutter by order of my thieving dog

of a mate, Mr.

Kidnow. But I have outwitted him. Though he be a hundred light years away, I

will never give up the pursuit. With the crew which I have assembled on this

uncharted planet, the chase is on. Death to all mutineers.

Well, at least we know why he came here and what he's doing. Yeah.

A ragtag and a bobtail crew and a leaky space cutter. And with our propulsion

unit. Say, that unit... That unit had magnetic drive, didn't it? Yeah.

Meaning it could run forever on a minimum of fuel.

Yeah, I know, but... But what, John?

Listen, let me get this more clear in my mind, and I'll tell you all about it.

John, I'm going to need a lot of help.

I don't know who I need more, Smith or myself.

Top of the evening to you, sir. Everything below is scrubbed and ship

sir.

Mr. Kidlow!

Mr.

Kidlow!

You mutinous dog!

What have you done with my ship?

Answer me before I plunge my cactus into your gizzard!

Oh, sir.

Dear sir, my name is Smith, Dr. Zachary Smith. I was pre -ganged, remember?

Ah!

Mr. Spindlelegs.

What are you doing on my bridge?

I came up to help, sir. I can be of great assistance to you, sir.

Assistance?

Why, you clumsy swab!

Your very presence on board this ship is an insult to Navy tradition!

But I'm an old space hand, Admiral. Indeed, I am. I've sailed many a craft

this deep. I've sailed four -stackers, twin -riggers, pancakers. You name them,

Admiral, I've sailed them all. And now, of course, you'd like to see my papers,

wouldn't you? Well, I have them right here.

Or possibly here.

Oh, dear.

Ah, yes, I remember. I left them in my old spaceship back on Earth. Perhaps we

could make a brief stop there until I join you officially, if you would be

enough to appoint me quartermaster.

You have a glib tongue, Mr.

Spindlelegs. I am sincere, sir.

Lock on Thornax, quartermaster!

Begging your pardon, sir,

presuming to navigate my ship, Quartermaster!

Lock on Funtax immediately!

Lock on Funtax it is, sir. A shortcut to Earth, sir? A shortcut to Mr. Kidno,

you slimy -tongued cuttlefish.

And when I catch up with him, him mutinous dog, and his pack of filthy

scavengers, there'll be no vengeance in all thy youth!

to match mine.

How do you will, sir? Not recently.

I'll dance a hornpipe to the rhythm of their cries, Mr.

Spindlelegs.

Have you danced today, Mr.

Spindlelegs? Dance, sir?

Yes, dance, blastier. It's a standing order for my crew.

Clear as the...

Stimulate the...

Opportunity to test our metal is close at hand.

Whatever it was he said.

What are the orders, sir? We shall drive through.

up here? All to my course, Midshipman. Are you assuming that I don't know what

I'm about?

Well, not exactly, sir, but... Midshipman Robinson!

Your standing in the roster of the officer class is something below that of

lowliest apprentice in the focus hall.

We are driving through, Midshipman.

You lost your voice, quartermaster?

My computers are awfully dry, sir.

There'll be a good deal drier before this day's done.

As soon as we've found the guns, I'll engage him in amusing conversation while

you thrust a gun into the small of his back. At which point... I don't know,

Smith.

What's all this confounded mattering?

Speak up, sir!

I was just telling the midshipman how much I admire your superb navigation,

Blather and... Bilgewater, Mr.

Spindlelegs. Go below and holy stone the deck. I want it scrubbed until it

gleams. At a terrible time like this, sir? I should be a poor master if I

allowed a mere solar fire to interrupt my ship discipline.

Go below, Mr.

Spindlelegs. That is an odd...

You may set the table for the captain's mess.

May I, sir?

There's no question about it, my dear old friend. We must take action.

I am familiar with the expression.

but not with its significance in this instance.

We're going to seize command of the ship. It will be your duty to stand

over the Admiral while Will and I take over the controls, understood?

Negative. I am not programmed for mutiny.

You prefer to be reduced to a heap of molten tin? Are you nervous, Ninny?

I am not nervous.

You are. I have complete faith in the Admiral's navigational skill.

Besides, I am the quartermaster.

So that's how it is, you sober, greedy fellout. Very well. Will and I will have

to go. it alone. Go away and holy stone the deck, Mr.

Spindlelegs.

Watermasters do not talk to ordinary swabbies.

Swabbies indeed.

I'll pay you back for this, you dutiful scrappy.

I think we're ready to give it a whirl.

Well, not until you tell me what you're going to do, I hope.

Well, the propulsion unit on Zark's cutter is powered by magnetic drive.

So is this.

I think.

Well, when reverse or negative power is applied, it'll attract any vehicle

powered by positive magnetic drive.

Including Zack's cutter?

That's the one we're interested in.

Ready?

Power on.

Maureen, get on the scope and point anything you see.

Girl,

turn on the radar power unit.

Ready for beam.

Well, short rations are nothing new to me, boy.

A man has the will to survive.

When the will to live is uppermost in his mind, that's more important than

thirst or hunger.

Mr.

Kedner, oh!

Didn't think of that!

Sir, I don't mean to be disrespectful or anything.

And I know how you feel about manners, but not everybody feels the same way you

do. Explain yourself, boy.

thinks that you're running him into danger, they get ideas.

Ideas? If you could just change our course so we could go around the solar

Abast, there but. Oh, our bearing is Fontax, solar fire or no solar fire.

Fontax, boy, is Mr. Kidno's wretched hiding place. And it's there that I'm

to surprise that mutinous hound. And I expect my crew to be loyal to the end.

To the end.

Ah, boy, be of good cheer. I've undertaken to protect you, and protect

will.

We shall find some goat cheese in the pantry locker, boy.

Here we go.

Ah, drat.

There's nothing in the locker but cobwebs, sir.

Cobwebs?

Where is my goat cheese, boy?

I don't think there's been any goat cheese in that locker for years, sir.

Silence, you impertinent pup.

Mr. Kidno.

Mr.

Kidno.

Mr. Kidno's on fond tax, remember?

Don't make it necessary for me.

to come to you, Mr.

Kidnow!

All right!

I warned you!

Midshipman!

Mr.

Kidnow!

Stand to attention, Mr. Kidnow!

My pantry locker, Mr. Kidnow, is empty. My name is Mr., although I do answer to

spindle legs under duress.

It's too late to attempt the use of an alias, Mr. Kidno.

Now, Mr.

Kidno. Who stole my goat cheese?

Surely you don't think it was I?

Think, Mr. Kidno.

Why, you pilfering scoundrel. I know.

You've been at my goat cheese.

My emergency rations.

Alas, just leaving Hyde.

I'm charging you with grand theft in space.

Oh, no, sir. Put him in irons, midshipman, and throw him in the box.

Dr. Smith's not Mr. Kidno. Miss Chipman, do your duty, or I'll throw you

overboard and let you hang in space until you burst your seams.

Yes, Miss Chipman, do your duty. You'll find a gun in the gun locker.

The young man really has very little experience in car duty, and I don't mind

all his learning on me.

Go ahead, my boy, get the gun.

He's really a very charming young man, don't you think so, Admiral? A charming

young man. I don't really want to hear that.

Admiral! You're under arrest. We are feeding your ship. Point the gun at him,

will you? Did I hear you right, Mr.

Spindlelegs? Did I hear you say that I, Admiral Stark, was under arrest?

You haven't come with me before I answer that.

closer, John.

Let me know the minute I change his course.

All right, dear.

Increase the power. Two point.

Roger.

It worked.

Reverse the course.

We need more power!

We're in full power now, sir.

However, our course is now 180 degrees off.

Put the gun in the small of his neck.

I don't know, Dr. Smith.

He's got enough problems of his own.

And besides, I thought you were going to engage him in amusing conversation

before I did anything like that.

That's out of the question, now that I've told him the intent to seize

of his ship.

Well, in that case, maybe you'd better handle the gun.

What's me a placidus doing out there, Quartermaster?

Begging your pardon, sir, but we are going back the way we came.

Subinil Janubi coming up on the port bow, sir.

Take some. Thank you, William. I think we'd better forget this whole thing, Dr.

Smith. And have him toss me out in the lake for mutiny.

Unidentified planet dead ahead, sir.

Aye, quartermaster.

Ah, Mr. Spindleleg.

The hand of fate seems to be smiling upon us. I believe that we have caught

with Mr. Kidno and his pack of mutinous counterals.

Ah, I see you're already armed for a fray. It's strange how you remind me of

Kidno.

I could have sworn that I heard you use the very same words to the effect that

you are taking over command of my ship.

Aye, sir.

Oh, no, sir.

Half speed ahead, quartermaster. Stand by to orbit. Half speed ahead. Stand by

to orbit, sir.

You down there! I have you clear in my sight, you mutinous dog!

Mr. Kidnow!

Show yourself!

Show yourself, you stifling scoundrel!

or I'll blow you and your murderous gang to kingdom come!

You hear me?

Get the force field going.

Force field on.

Defy me, will you? You mutinous swine.

Man the missile gun, Midshipman Robinson.

Ready? Aim!

Please, Admiral, listen to me. That's my family down there. Take another look.

Are you suggesting that I don't know Kidmo and his gang when I see the

Midshipman? Yes, sir, I am. You could be wrong. Why, you thought... Dr. Smith

was Mr. Kidno for a while. Yes, you did.

You may fire when ready, midshipman.

I'm sorry, sir, but I'm not going to. Why, you insolent pup.

I'll take off the wheel, robot. Fire.

Now, we shall fire the gun.

Ready?

Fire.

Steady as you go.

Ready?

Fire.

Ready, I say.

if Admiral Zark has changed his mind about blowing us all to kingdom come.

He'd better take us alive.

Are we going to wait for him to come to us?

No, I think it's better that Don and I go to him.

Be careful, John.

All right.

Will!

Hi, Dad.

Are you all right?

Sure, I guess so. I should get excellent care of him for later.

Offend? I'd say he took excellent care of you.

Say, what happened? Well, when Admiral Zark realized that you weren't Mr.

he didn't want to stay. He was in a real big hurry to catch him.

I guess so.

Though he be a hundred light years away, I will never give up the pursuit.

I sure would like to have met him. What would you like? Mr.

Kidno!

Who stole my goat cheese?

Blast your thieving hide!

Mr. Kidno!

Steady as she goes, quartermaster!

Okay, okay, I get the picture.

Oh, but you're bubbled.

All right, young Thespians, we all have our part. Now let us rehearse.

Places, please, assume your positions.

Lovely. You may begin, Penny.

I am Freya. I love... Don't mumble, dear. Recite the lines trippingly on the

tongue. And don't slouch to your head and chest proud, remember.

Your eye on the balcony railing gives a natural poise to the head.

Oh, dear. Start again.

Yes, Dr. Smith.

I am Freya. I love all things of beauty.

Music, spring, flowers.

I love the clouds in the sky, the birds on high, the silver fishes below, under

the ground all the worms that glow.

Death is less prude.

I love...

Why do I have to be Freya, Dr. Smith? I've only got four lines. Why can't I be

Norse God Odin? For the simple reason that Odin was a man.

Yeah, I'm going to be Odin. You will play the part that I've assigned to you,

William. Odin, the mythological god of Valhalla, was most glorious, most great.

Naturally, it follows that I should play that part.

Naturally. All these lovely long speeches.

I shall be magnificent.

Of course. You've written them all for yourself.

Let's not quibble, my dear. The play's the thing. Play's the thing.

That looks like a cosmic storm.

Of course it's a storm. I wrote it into the third act.

We're not playing at me now, Dr. Smith. That's a real storm.

What?

Dr. Smith?

Maybe you're just trying to prove that you're all wet.

Oh, but indeed, young Upshark.

I'll have you know I'm a masquerade or any of the other mythological gods.

No, no, I really didn't mean that. Let's not be hasty up there.

If I've said anything to offend anyone, I'm sorry.

You must understand that this is only play -acting of the most harmless sort.

Oh, good heavens!

Giant hands!

They're coming for me!