Original subtitles

Last week, as you recall, we left Will, Dr. Smith, and the robot investigating

an alien machine, unaware that within its depth lurked an incredible array of

monstrous mechanical toys.

Well, another of those interesting intergalactic mail order catalogs. How

By pressing buttons and causing pictures to appear on the screen, one can order

anything one wants in the universe and have it appear immediately.

This one doesn't seem like it's in very good condition, Dr. Smith. Never mind

appearances. Just see if it works.

Warning! Warning!

Hazardous area. Return at once, Will Robinson.

The fissure you have crossed is filled with hyperatomic matter.

Silence, you cackling cod!

The machine also is dangerous.

Nonsense. Will is very good with machines.

Now go ahead, William.

See if you can find a suitable present for your dear sister.

Do you think she'd like that?

I'm sure she would.

Perhaps you should turn the gold now, and then we will have the vehicle in

It's such a charming metal.

Turn it off!

Something must have gone wrong.

Perhaps the hand of an expert is indicated.

Stand aside, my boy.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

He who plays with fire will surely get... Spare me the asinine axioms. Be

careful, Dr. Smith.

The robot said the fissure in this area was dangerous.

With Dr. Smith, greed conquers all.

I'll attend to you later, you adulpated armor -bearer.

Now, let's see. What shall I order?

Money would be so nice, except for the fact that there's no place to spend it.

We're looking for something for Penny, remember?

My dear boy, how could I forget that?

But wouldn't it be wise to test the capacity of the machine by ordering

something a little more substantial?

I have it. I shall order myself a new coat. The nights have been very chilly

lately.

Oh, dear.

There must be a way to get something other than the toy department.

I have it. It's all in touch.

Now, let me see. I'll try this one or possibly that one.

I think all of them. That should do it.

Careful, Dr. Smith.

Never fear. Smith is here. I know exactly what I'm doing.

Warning! Warning!

Silence, Minnie!

Thank you.

Yes, please.

Mom!

Where's Dad and Don?

Why, what's the matter? I've got to find them. I've got to. Well, they're not

here right now. You can't.

Something terrible's happened. I've got to find them. Now, wait a minute, Will.

But, Mom!

Now, look, your dad and Don aren't here. They went out looking for some sort of

a fissure. The seismograph indicated that a potentially dangerous one had

up somewhere in this area.

Well, we found that, and it's not important now.

And just what is so important? Dr. Smith's gone. He pushed the wrong button

an old Android machine and it kind of swallowed him up. What?

You know what Dad said about those alien machines.

He said you were... Now, Penny, that'll do.

How did this happen? I issued all the required warnings.

However, if I protest too much, Dr.

Smith removes my power pack and I become a complete write -off. We've got to do

something. Dr. Smith could be off in some other dimension. Anything could

to him. Well, all right, then, dear. You wait here and I'll go and try and find

your father.

Penny, keep an eye on your brother.

I just thought of something. That android machine is sort of like a

people can order things from all over the galaxy.

What's wrong with that?

Don't you get it? Now Dr. Smith's part of that catalog. Anybody could order

How can you laugh when right now anybody could buy Dr. Smith?

I was bought. Believe me, it is not a bad way to go.

Well, you're different. You don't count. You're just a machine.

Oh, I see.

I'm sorry, robot. I shouldn't have said that.

I'm sorry.

Where are you going? Mom told me to keep an eye on you. Then come along. Then

you can keep an eye on me.

better stay here. Well, be careful.

I'm just going to turn it on.

There. Now, see? I just turned it on. That's all.

Well, be careful.

I've got to get Dr. Smith's image on the panel.

That couldn't be Dr. Smith, could it?

Well, are you sure you know what you're doing?

Well, maybe I'm not using the right combination. Maybe that's what I'm

Well, the count's increasing.

That fish has got to be around here someplace.

Setting is 285, holding steady.

Range still indeterminate.

John?

Oh, thank heaven I found you. Listen, something dreadful has happened.

Dr. Smith has been trapped in an android machine.

What's so dreadful about that? That's about the best news I've heard in weeks.

Oh, now, Don, please be serious.

Will is afraid that something awful might happen to him. He was caught in

those once before.

It didn't seem to do him any harm.

But this is different. This is an old abandoned machine.

Maureen, a lot of things are different this time.

We could be in a lot of trouble if we don't find this fissure soon.

I don't understand.

From our readings, that fissure that opened last night has continued to

Now, if it reaches down to the core of this planet and the heat builds up...

Well, it's liable to blow.

And we could blow with it.

We've got to find that Fisher somehow and seal it up. But Will found the

It's right by the android machine.

Where is he? I left him back at the spaceship.

Well, let's go.

Maybe I'm not pushing enough buttons at the same time.

Maybe that's what I'm doing wrong.

I suggest you leave it alone.

The machine is becoming overheated.

I'm just going to do it once more. That can't hurt anything.

Warning. Warning! I've got to get Dr. Smith out!

Well! Kenny!

Warning! Warning! Do not go near that machine!

Electrical explosion imminent!

Dr. Smith?

Machine, probably.

And it was the only one on that planet. I didn't break any machine. Of course

you didn't. Well, look for yourself.

Somebody must be to blame. And since you're the only somebody here, then I

you. Well, you're mistaken, sir. The machine kind of grabbed me. That's all I

know. Oh, pish -tosh, pish -tosh. Nobody gets in here.

So you must have been here all the while.

Now, which stockroom are you from?

I'm not from any stockroom. Oh, you're very drab. Very drab, indeed. Very drab.

But then, in my position, I can't afford to be choosy. I must take what I can

get.

I imagine I could touch you up a bit, a little paint here and there.

Do you bite?

Why, of course I don't bite! Which may or may not be true. If you lie, you'll

probably bite.

But if you do bite, I can always strike you with my cane.

It's always very effective.

Can you tell me where Dr. Smith is?

And what kind of a place is this?

I never heard of a place called Dr. Smith. And this place is here.

It can't be anywhere else.

Therefore, it must be here. Now, come along.

Come along, come along, and don't dawdle. I don't like somebody who

Come along, come along.

Now, that's the last of the burned -out tubes and wires.

Can you make anything out of this?

The prognosis is poor.

The circuits are very primitive, and the machine has been reprogrammed.

Rewiring will be necessary.

Can you tell us anything about where Will and Smith might be?

This machine operates on a fourth -dimensional process.

It could be anywhere.

How long will it take to repair this machine?

It is impossible to estimate at this time.

Even if we get it put back together again, we can't be sure it'll work the

time around.

We won't get a second chance.

Is it that bad?

That fish is getting harder by the minute.

At the outside, we've got 24 hours to seal it up.

And if we use a charge powerful enough to seal it up, we'll take this android

machine with it.

Well, we're just gonna have to move it, that's all.

That cannot be done.

To move this old machine would destroy it. Well, that doesn't give us any

choice, then.

Somehow, we're going to have to get them out of there within 24 hours.

Come along, then. Come along.

Here, here, here, here. Now, don't talk. Don't talk.

Ordering, ordering, ordering.

Children all over ordering toys. They do run their legs off me. Indeed, they do.

They would pick one of those Constructo kits we ran out of those 50 years ago.

Where's that order coming from, sir? Oh, that machine is on a small planet near

Orion. There are plenty of children there.

Be patient, be patient, be patient.

But that's not what they ordered. Well, it's the best I can do.

I'm going to do the best I can. They'll just have to take what they can get.

All right, then. Come along.

Come along now and don't dawdle.

What kind of toy are you?

Do you have a name?

My name's Will Robinson, sir. And I'm not a toy. I'm a boy.

Oh, nonsense, nonsense.

There are no boys here.

Therefore, you can't be one.

And I've never heard of a Will Robinson.

Well, that's what I am. I mean, who I am.

What's your name, sir?

Oh, I've had lots of names.

When I was young, they called me boy.

Then later, they called me young man.

In my prime, I was known as sir.

When they retired me from the department store, they called me old man.

I prefer O .M.

O .M. Yes, sir.

Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.

Well, then, we must be off now. We must be going.

Come, come. Don't dawdle.

Come along. Come along. Don't dawdle.

What's that, Mr. O .M.? That is exactly what it seems to be. Everything here is

what it seems to be.

That is a wind -up monster and a very great nuisance.

He's always acting up, getting out of hand.

Mr. O .L.! Stop that!

He's trying to wind himself up and I can't ship him out until I cure him of

that. Will, is that you?

Dr. Smith, where are you?

Over here.

Now, now, now, now, now, you be careful, be careful. There's dangerous toys

there. Very dangerous.

Dr. Smith.

Help me, my boy. Get me down.

Don't get too close. Don't get too close. Stay away from me. He's a mean

bites. That's Dr. Smith. He's the man I've been telling you about.

You won't bite anymore, will you, Dr. Smith?

Of course I won't bite.

I'll do anything.

Anything you like. I'll be as placid as a lamb. Only please get me down.

Oh, all right, all right, all right.

One more outburst from you, and I'll put you back up again.

You seem ready to ship.

Ship? Ship where?

There's a planet in Andromeda where the children have a particular preference

for animated toys.

But I'm too big to be a toy.

Oh, nonsense, nonsense.

You're just the right size.

The children there are 75 feet tall.

Oh, dear.

Now, look, you can't ship out Dr.

Smith. He's not a toy. He's a man.

Can't you see that I am? Oh, please look at me, dear sir. Can't you see that I'm

real flesh and blood?

Yes, you do look a bit pale.

Your color must have faded.

I'll have to touch it up. Yes, I will indeed. Indeed, I will. Yes, yes, I will

indeed. Indeed, I will.

Gamma green, Martian mold, Orion orange.

What did I do with my radiant red?

Valoration.

Oh, dear.

We can't let him send me away.

Who will take care of you? We simply cannot allow it.

Do you know how we're going to get out of here?

We'll go back the way we came.

We can't. The machine's broken.

But don't worry, Dr. Smith. We'll get out of here somehow.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

And then Dr. Smith started pushing buttons all at once.

And there was a crack of electricity and he just froze there.

Now, I know how hard this must be on you, darling.

But it's absolutely necessary.

Did Will get through the machine the same way?

It was terrible.

He was so upset about Dr. Smith that he started doing the same thing.

Pressing all the buttons at once.

Yes. And then he just wasn't there anymore.

It's going to be all right, darling.

I promise you that.

How about going to bed?

All right, Dad.

I'll stay with him just in case he needs me.

That might be a good idea. Dad, we will be able to get them out, won't we?

We'll get them out.

Boosters ready? Yeah, all set.

All right, I want to put them in the fishery tonight. But I want you to wait

until the last minute before setting them off.

That should be sometime around noon tomorrow.

What are you going to do?

We don't have any alternative.

Since we can't summon them out of the machine, I'm going to take the robot and

go in after them.

All right, John.

Darling, good luck.

Don't worry, darling.

We'll get them out.

It's very bad form to stare at people while they're eating. Oh, it's

Simply marvellous. That's what it is. The children on Andromeda will be

delighted. They've never before had a toy that eats.

Toy, indeed.

I think we would like a drink now, if you please.

Oh, you'll drink, too?

That's excellent, excellent.

I'll be back in a moment.

It's time for us to take our departure, my boy.

I don't know, Dr. Smith.

Mr. O .M. doesn't seem so bad. I don't think he'd really ship us out. He's mad

at the Hatter.

You may rely on me. I have considerable experience in these things. I will get

you out now, family.

They've gone.

I've been far too trusting, that's what I've been. And when a man's trust has

been betrayed... There's only one thing left to do, to take action.

Drastic action.

You.

Who is wanting to chase somebody?

Well, now.

There's something about that roar. It's much too noisy.

Well, don't stand there, don't leave.

After them, after them, after them.

Do you know where you're going?

Of course I do.

Navigation has always been one of my strongest points. I've never been lost

my life. There's always a first time.

Do you know how we're going to get out of here? Of course I do. We shall

to the area where we first arrived and await rescue.

They will certainly not leave us in here.

I don't know.

This just doesn't seem like the right direction. It's way too far.

Never fear.

Myth is here.

I have not failed yet.

Mr. Smith?

Yes, what is it?

Do you hear a kind of shuffling noise?

No. No, I do not. It must be your imagination.

I think we'd better move on. In a moment, my boy. I must do my breathing

exercises first.

It's vital to keep the breathing regular. It makes the nerves steady and

prevents one from imagining things.

Easy. Now keep it coming.

Okay, good, easy.

All the way down. Go on.

More, more. A little to your right.

All right.

Keep her coming.

Okay, tie her up.

Well, it's right in the middle of the fissure.

Great.

Well, it's your baby from now on.

Right.

Now, let's get our signal straight.

We don't know what we're going to find, so be ready for anything.

Are you sure you need me to go along?

Yes. Now, we're going to go into that machine, find Smith and Will as quickly

possible, and get out. Is that understood?

Yes, sir. All right.

Warning! Warning!

Alien aircraft approaching!

thing away, sir.

Tzondish never conducts business under any threat of coercion. Business?

Of course.

There's no other reason why I would come to this desolate planet again.

As you know, my name is Tzondish, and I now represent the demolition department

of the Celestial Department stores.

We met before.

I do not have time for pleasantries.

This is a machine that's creating all the trouble I take.

Does that machine belong to the Celestial Department store?

Precisely. It's quite obsolete and should have been destroyed a long time

But there are hundreds of them scattered around these planets, and it takes time

to find them.

Listen, friend, two of our people were taken by that machine, and we intend

getting them back.

Surely you can't hold the celestial department stores responsible for that.

No, indeed.

Some renegade is operating this machine, and he's not on our payroll.

We're not holding you responsible.

Now, if you'll excuse us, we're going in there.

Choose a machine?

Unless you've got a need to your way for us to get our people out.

I'm afraid that's quite impossible out of the question.

My orders are to destroy this machine immediately.

Now would you kindly step aside?

You question my authority?

Don't go near that machine, Zundish.

My dear sir, you have no idea how much trouble you're about to cause yourself.

Stand aside!

Met with belligerence. There, that should do it.

Since you forced me into it, I will be forced to confer with the head of the

security division.

I'm finished.

Done in. I simply cannot move another step. I should have followed my own

instincts, not listened to you. We've got to keep moving, Dr. Smith. Maybe we

can find a place to hide.

Hide, indeed.

The very idea is anathema to me.

Zachary Smith hides from nothing.

Come on, Dr. Smith!

Oh, dear.

This is defying ambiguity.

That I should meet my fate at the hands of a wind -up monster.

What are you doing?

Is it really there?

Is it what it seems to be?

It's Earth, Dr. Smith.

We found a way back. Oh, joy.

Oh, bliss.

William, do you see the light?

They're celebrating Christmas.

We've got to get out of here.

William, we've got to get out of here. Help me.

Quickly. Hurry, Dr. Smith.

This nail is rusting.

a point at things, it is even more impolite to poke. And that's what you

doing. He has feelings, you know, and he doesn't like to be poked.

Well, he was going to hurt Dr. Smith.

He was on the point of doing me in.

Oh, pish -tosh.

He doesn't do anything that I don't tell him to do, and I did not tell him to

hurt anybody.

Therefore... Oh, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what are you doing

here? Is that really Earth out there?

Say that it is, my dear sir. Say that it is.

It must certainly be.

Saturn has wings around it and doesn't look like that at all.

But it's a real little planet, much too congested. You wouldn't like it at all.

Well, that's where my family and I started from. That's home.

Oh, nonsense, nonsense.

Home is where you happen to be at the moment, and you happen to be here.

Therefore, this is home.

Besides, you were just wasting your time. A toy cannot go through that door.

Here, take the big one back to the workshop.

And mind you, don't damage his paint.

Oh, no, please.

No, sir.

Spare me.

so near and yet so far.

Oh, no. Oh, no, please.

Please don't let me.

No. No.

Don't take me. Don't take me. I'm doing a charm in my mind. Will you get to know

me? Oh, dear, my dear.

Help me.

Help me.

Oh, no, please.

Please don't take me. You're a most peculiar toy.

Do you promise?

Do I promise to do what?

That is not the question. The question is what you promise not to do, namely

to run away anymore.

But even if you do promise, I can't believe you.

Toys are totally irresponsible.

If you say so.

And I do say so. I do indeed, indeed I do.

Now, let's be getting back.

There's lots to be done.

Come on.

Scheduled, you know.

Busy, busy, busy.

Nice. Very nice.

Very natural.

Ah,

that's better.

Very lifelike.

Mr. O .M., my dear sir, you're making a great mistake, you know. If you don't

mind my saying so, of course. I would fetch a much larger price if you were to

send me to Earth.

Tut -tut.

Embossed. I do not charge for my product.

Therefore, I am not concerned with profits.

Besides, Earth children have far too many toys already.

That's why I closed down my outlet there.

Therefore, I'm sending you to Andromeda.

Oh, no, you wouldn't. Oh, yes, I would. You wouldn't. I would. Oh, dear.

I've finished mopping the floors, sir.

Andromeda.

Andromeda.

Misery. Misery.

Well, then, you can clean off the workbench.

But there's no way to clean the workbench without getting the floor

Well, then you can mop the floor again after you clean the workbench. It's

better to have too much work than too little. Work is the best cure there is

unhappiness.

What's the matter?

Oh, nothing. It's none of my business.

Well, if it's not your business, then it certainly must be mine.

Speak up, speak up, speak up.

Well, he just doesn't look right.

What's wrong with him?

It's his clothes.

I think the children on Andromeda would like him much better if he were dressed

like a clown.

A clown?

A clown.

A clown, yes.

A splendid, perfect, perfect, splendid idea.

Yes, a wonderful idea.

Simply marvelous.

Marvelous.

Now.

There.

Perfect, perfect, perfect.

The pain of it all.

Now for the clown suit.

The clown suit is not here.

Therefore, it must be someplace else.

It must be someplace else.

I know what you're trying to do, but it won't work. He'll just send that

terrible monster out after us again.

What if we can get the key?

Perhaps you'd better do it. Your fingers are much more adept at this sort of

thing.

I got the key. Let's go.

My fondest dream is about to be realized.

In ten minutes, I shall be back on Earth.

You better get going.

Time's running out.

Here. Hold them off till we get back. We'll make it as soon as we can.

Don't worry. I've got a little surprise for them.

All right. Get into position.

I do not feel well. Repeat.

Get into position.

I really...

leaves us no choice.

Get him away from the machine.

If he resists, disintegrate him.

Call your man off, sir.

Remote control detonator, model A -99.

You certainly can bluff me with a piece of equipment like that.

This is no bluff, sir.

Another radioactive fissure.

I suppose you have explosives in it.

Enough to contaminate your spaceship if I push this plunger.

Primitive. Primitive. Primitive. But effective.

Now calm him off.

I can afford to play this foolish game with you for another ten minutes and

still meet my schedule. But then I'm afraid I'm going to have to call your

bluff.

Ten minutes.

Primitive.

Are you picking up any signals?

No, sir.

Stay close. There's no telling what we'll run into.

Oh, and another thing.

I think your warning circuit's in overhaul.

I am not programmed to warn against wind -up dangers.

Come on.

What an inspiring sight.

William, terra firma.

Well, we're not going to get anywhere unless you help me with this. This

stuck. Patience, my boy, I'm thinking.

We need a clear -cut course of action once we get the door open.

And we must send help for your dear family, of course, in due time.

William!

Is that a small cafe I see on the other side of the square?

Oh, yes, I do believe it is. Lovely. I shall have a quite enormous take,

literally smothered with mushrooms, to bring me strength.

Dr. Smith.

Oh, very well, my boy. Stand aside.

It's a whiny toy.

You wanted to go through that door, but you didn't. Why?

I couldn't let the monster hurt Dr. Smith.

He wanted to go through, but he didn't.

He could not have opened the door, because only the pure of heart can open

door between the two dimensions.

And a toy has no heart.

You must be... a boy?

Yes, sir.

I'm a boy.

A boy! A real boy!

Indeed it is, it is indeed.

My prayers have been answered.

Oh, there are great things in store for you here.

I'm going to teach you my craft.

You'll be my helper. There are so many machines to attend to.

And you know, my eyes aren't as good as they once were.

No, sir.

I can't stay. I have to get back to my family and Dr. Smith.

He will be shipped out immediately.

Make no mistake, boy. This is my world. And what I say is going to happen does

happen. And I say that you are going to stay.

Oh, botheration.

What's that?

My alarm system.

Things are always getting out of order.

Toys moving around.

Intruders. Who knows?

What are you doing?

I'm getting things stationary.

I like things to be stationary.

Well, I must have a book.

Come along.

I'll take you to your precious Dr. Smith.

Come on, come on, come on, come on. Don't bother, don't bother, don't

Here, here, here.

What are you doing?

Whistling. I do not like dark places.

Blast us out.

It's no use. It's no use. You can't get out.

I'm a pretty good cage builder, if I have to say so myself.

Sturdy, sturdy, sturdy.

Who are you? That is not the question.

Oh, my.

You're a very fine toy.

Where's your key? How do you wind up?

I do not wind up, nor do I run down.

I am powered by solar cells.

Incredible.

A toy that does not have to be wound up.

Oh, I've been out of touch too long.

If you let us out of here, I might arrange for you to get all the solar

batteries you need.

Toys that would not run down?

Oh, my.

How the children would love that.

Well, let us out of here and I'll discuss it with you.

These toys are marvelous.

What did you make them out of?

Oh, floxam and jetsam.

Things I had left over from the Celestial Department store.

The Celestial Department store?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. When they retired me. They retired you when you

wonderful work like this?

Say, uh... How would you like to have your own workshop?

With everything in it.

Oh, I'd like it, I'd like it, yes, I'd like it.

Well, I can't promise, but there's a very good chance.

A torch that would never run down.

How incredible.

You're not taking the machine, rubbish. I'm very sorry, but I run out of time.

They can't do it. They're still in there.

They will have a few minutes before the activator creates a vacuum.

Now, step aside.

And then...

Vacuum activator has been placed on the machine.

We've got to get out of here. This whole place is about to be destroyed.

Vacuum activator destroyed? I don't understand.

Dad!

Son!

Please, Mr. Owen, let them out. They won't hurt anything.

Oh, this is all too confusing. Much to... Oh.

Oh! Right, all right.

I must go sit somewhere and think this out.

There's no time for that. We've got to get out of here now.

But I can't leave here.

Where would I work?

We'll get you another place.

A bigger, nicer place.

With those things that keep the toys from running down? I'm sure that can be

arranged if you just show us the way out of here.

That would be even better than having strong springs.

Yes, much better.

Yes, much.

You. Place your hands on the frame of the panel. Place your hands on the

That's it. Here.

You. You. You're next.

Place your hands on the frame.

Can't be turned off With

Robinson,

you've gotta get Robert for now in a minute All right, you go next

since next is also last we'll have to go together raise your hands on the break

Go back to the ship and tell them we're back.

We've got to get our detonator back before he leaves. Who's that?

A very nice old man.

And our salvation.

This

has

been one of the renegades who has been operating our outmoded machines.

Not one of the renegades. The only one.

That man, Zumdish, operated all those machines.

And if it's caused a loss to the Celestial Department store, we'll be

to make it up out of profits.

Profits? What profits?

Well, the man's an inventive genius.

We're going to set up a factory here.

Give him a demonstration.

Make something.

You can, can't you? I have some instant toys.

Go on, go on. I think.

You think?

Well, I always...

Carry some with me.

Somewhere. Now, where did I... Where did I put them? I had them...

Here.

He was in our machine after all.

That is to Celestial Department Store's exclusive rights to him. No, sir.

The Celestial Department Store gave up those rights when they retired him.

Retired him? We retired him? Nobody else did it, so you must have done it. You

must have done it.

Somebody set the rule for that.

You're a reasonable man, Professor Robinson.

You have nothing here to give him. We can supply him with his own department,

all the workers he needs.

And cells that never run down? I must have cells that never run down.

Everything you need, my good men. Full reinstatement. Top salary.

How do you like that, my good men? Professor Robinson, you surely won't

this way.

Whatever's satisfactory to Mr. O .M. is certainly all right with me. Well, then,

everything is done.

My dear Mr. O .M., there's no need to rush into anything. You need the

of a good business manager.

May I offer mine?

You, out.

Our business is finished.

Not quite, Thumbish.

We want our detonator back.

Oh, the Fisher business.

A simple way to stop that, you know. We run into them all the time and have to

be prepared.

It so happens I have a device in my ship that's ordinary self for...

Well, let's call this a free sample.

It'll never work, Dumptish.

I don't know what shape that fissure is, but it's certainly not round.

That's our model 512 Deluxe plug.

It will conform itself to any shape opening.

There. There, that's it.

A perfect seal.

The vapor will dissipate in a day or two.

In case you wish to order another one, remember the model number, 512

Deluxe. Remember that.

If you wish to reorder.

Deluxe.

Thank you.

Wrong again, Robinson.

Crazy plug. It's actually going to work.

Smith. What I wouldn't get was seeing you strung up like a puppet. Now, that

must have been quite a sight. It was indeed a sight, Major. I was a charming

toy. So you may spare me your poisonous barbs. They fall on deaf ears.

Now, wait till you see this.

What a beautiful dress for my old doll.

Happy birthday, pal. Well, I'm glad you like it, dear.

I can't wait to see what O .M. left for me.

Well, open it.

I guess it's like everything else he made, but it's about to count.

I think this is the best birthday I've ever had.

Today is Penny's birthday. Today is Penny's birthday.

Today is Penny's birthday.

We wish you many more.

We wish you many more.

We wish you many more.

Today is Penny's birthday. We wish you many more.

We wish you many more. We wish you many more.

to make rain, Dr. Smith. Really, my dear boy, sometimes your ignorance of

atmospheric chemistry is appalling. Making rain is no more difficult than

light pastry, once you know the formula.

Formula for pastry, flour, water, shortening, and a light touch.

Formula for rain, nimbus clouds, low pressure, and a little bit of luck. The

odds are against you, Dr. Smith.

Spare me the warnings, you jabbering Jeremiah, and hand me the trisodium

phosphorus.

There we are.

bit of this.

That should do it.

There we are.

You sure have a mean face, Dr. Smith.

If my calculations are correct, and I'm quite sure they are, the trajectory of

this missile will end in a pinpoint landing on a most promising mass of

vapor. Then what'll happen?

The missile will explode, causing instant condensation and a vigorous

of rain. We could sure use it.

Warning! Warning!

Warning! Warning! My foot! What is it?

Your calculations may not be accurate. I suggest a thorough recheck, just to be

on the safe side.

Oh, fiddly pie.

You'd better listen to him, Dr. Smith.

Listen to a dippity -dunt who doesn't know enough to get out of the rain?

Indeed, I will not. Stand by, my boy.

Careful, Dr. Smith!

Step up here.

This is here.

Zachary Smith, the rainmaker.

Ready on the left.

Ready on the right.

Ready on the firing line.

Oh, no. I think it's headed for the Jupiter.

Ridiculous. Will Robinson is correct. Your calculations are snafu, Dr.

Smith.

Oh, dear.