Original subtitles

[vehicles approaching]

Papa!

[speaking French]

[speaking German]

[speaking French]

[continuing in French]

While I'm very familiar with your and your family,

I have no way of knowing if you are familiar

with who I am.

Are you aware of my existence?

Yes.

This is good.

Are you aware of the job

I've been ordered to carry out in France?

Yes.

Please tell me what you've heard.

I've heard

that the Fuhrer has put you in charge

of rounding up the Jews left in France

who are either hiding or passing for Gentile.

The Fuhrer couldn't have said it better himself.

But the meaning of your visit--

pleasant, though it is--

is mysterious to me.

The Germans looked through my house

nine months ago for hiding Jews...

and found nothing.

Yeah.

I'm aware of that.

I've read the reports of this area.

But like any enterprise,

when under new management,

there's always a slight duplication of efforts.

Most of it being a complete waste of time.

But needs to be done nevertheless.

I just have a few questions, Monsieur LaPadite.

If you can assist me with the answers,

my department can close a file on your family.

Now...

before the occupation there were...

four Jewish families in this area.

All dairy farmers like yourself.

The Doleracs, the Rollins,

the Loveitts

and the Dreyfuses.

Is that correct?

To my knowledge, those were the Jewish families

among the dairy farmers.

Herr Colonel, would it disturb you

if I smoked my pipe?

Please, Monsieur LaPadite.

This is your house. Make yourself comfortable.

Now according to these papers,

all the Jewish families in this area

have been accounted for except...

the Dreyfuses.

Somewhere in the last year

it would appear they have vanished,

which leads me to the conclusion

that they've either made good their escape

or someone is very successfully hiding them.

What have you heard about the Dreyfuses, Monsieur LaPadite?

Only rumors.

I love rumors.

Facts can be so misleading,

where rumors-- true or false,

are often revealing.

So Monsieur LaPadite,

what rumors have you heard

regarding the Dreyfuses?

[clears throat] Again, this is just a rumor,

but we heard...

the Dreyfuses...

had made their way into Spain.

So the rumors you've heard have been of escape?

Oui.

Uh, Yes.

Having never met the Dreyfuses,

would you confirm for me the exact members of the household

and their names?

There were five of them.

Um, the father,

Jacob.

Wife...

Miriam.

And her brother...

Bob.

How old is Bob?

30, 31.

Continue.

And the children...

Amos...

and Shosanna.

Ages of the children?

[sighs]

Uh, Amos was...

nine or 10?

And Shosanna?

And Shosanna was...

18 or 19.

I'm not really sure.

I guess that should do it.

[zipping]

However, before I go,

could I have another glass of your delicious milk?

LaPadite: But of course.

Monsieur LaPadite,

are you aware of the nickname

the people of France have given me?

I have no interest in such things.

But you are aware of what they call me.

I'm aware.

What are you aware of then?

Merci.

That they call you the "Jew Hunter."

Precisely.

I understand your trepidation in repeating it.

Heydrich apparently hates the moniker

the good people of Prague have bestowed on him.

Actually, why he would hate

the name "The Hangman" is baffling to me.

It would appear he's done everything in his power to earn it.

I, on the other hand, love my unofficial title,

precisely because I've earned it.

The feature that makes me such an effective hunter of the Jews is,

as opposed to most German soldiers,

I can think like a Jew...

where they can only think like a German.

[laughs] More precisely, German soldier.

Now if one were to determine what attribute

the German people share with a beast,

it would be the cunning and the predatory instinct of a hawk.

But if one were to determine what attributes

the Jews share with the beast,

it would be that of the rat.

The Fuhrer and Goebbels' propaganda

have said pretty much the same thing.

But where our conclusions differ

is I don't consider the comparison an insult.

Consider for a moment

the world a rat lives in.

It's a hostile world, indeed.

If a rat were to scamper

through your front door right now,

would you greet it with hostility?

I suppose I would.

Has a rat ever done anything to you to create

this animosity you feel toward them?

Rats spread disease.

They bite people.

Rats were the cause of the bubonic plague.

But that's some time ago.

I propose to you any disease a rat could spread,

a squirrel could equally carry.

Would you agree?

Oui.

Yet I assume you don't share

the same animosity with squirrels

you do with rats, do you?

- No. - Yet they're both rodents, are they not?

Except for the tail, they even rather look alike, don't they?

It's an interesting thought, Herr Colonel.

However interesting as the thought may be,

it makes not one bit of difference to how you feel.

If a rat were to walk in here right now,

as I'm talking,

would you greet it

with a saucer of your delicious milk?

Probably not.

I didn't think so.

You don't like them.

You don't really know why you don't like them,

all you know is you find them repulsive.

Consequently, a German soldier

conducts a search of a house suspected of hiding Jews.

Where does the hawk look?

He looks in the barn, he looks in the attic,

he looks in the cellar--

he looks everywhere he would hide.

But there's so many places it would never occur

to a hawk to hide.

However, the reason the Fuhrer's

brought me off my Alps in Austria

and placed me in French cow country today

is because it does occur to me.

Because I'm aware of what tremendous feats

human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity.

May I smoke my pipe as well?

[clears throat] P-Please, Herr Colonel,

make yourself at home.

Now...

my job dictates...

that I must have my men enter your home...

and conduct a thorough search

before I can officially cross your family's name off my list.

If there are any irregularities to be found,

rest assured, they will be.

That is, unless you have something to tell me

that makes the conducting of a search unnecessary.

I might add, also, that any information

that makes the performance of my duty easier

will not be met with punishment.

Actually, quite the contrary--

it will be met with reward.

That reward will be your family

will cease to be harassed

in any way by the German military

during the rest of our occupation of your country.

[clock ticking]

You are sheltering enemies of the state, are you not?

[ticking continues]

Yes.

You're sheltering them

underneath your floorboards, aren't you?

Yes.

Point out to me the areas where they're hiding.

Since I haven't heard any disturbance,

I assume while they are listening,

they don't speak English.

Yes.

I'm going to switch back to French now,

and I want you to follow my masquerade,

is that clear?

Yes.

[speaking French]

Shh!

It's the girl.

[sobbing]

[speaks German]

Au revoir, Shosanna!

- [footsteps] - Man: Ten-hut!

My name is Lieutenant Aldo Raine,

and I'm putting together a special team,

and I need me eight soldiers.

Eight Jewish American soldiers.

Now y'all might've heard rumors

about the armada happening soon.

Well, we'll be leaving a little earlier.

We're gonna be dropped into France dressed as civilians.

Once we're in enemy territory,

as a bushwhacking guerilla army,

we're gonna be doing one thing,

and one thing only--

killing Nazis.

I don't know about y'all,

but I sure as hell didn't come down

from the goddamn smoky mountains,

cross 5000 miles of water,

fight my way through half of Sicily,

and jump out of a fucking airplane

to teach the Nazis lessons in humanity.

Nazi ain't got no humanity.

They're the foot soldiers of a Jew-hating,

mass-murdering maniac,

and they need to be destroyed.

That's why any and every son of a bitch we find

wearing a Nazi uniform,

they're gonna die.

I'm the direct descendent

of the mountain man Jim Bridger.

That means I got a little Indian in me.

Our battle plan

will be that of an Apache resistance.

We will be cruel to the Germans.

Through our cruelty, they will know who we are.

They will find the evidence of our cruelty

in the disemboweled, dismembered

and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us.

And the German won't be able to help themselves

but imagine the cruelty

their brothers endured at our hands,

and our boot heels,

and the edge of our knives.

And the German will be sickened by us.

And the German will talk about us.

And the German will fear us.

When the German closes their eyes at night,

and they're tortured by their subconscious

for the evil they have done,

it will be with thoughts of us

that they are tortured with.

Sound good?

All: Yes, sir!

That's what I like to hear.

But I got a word of warning

for all you would-be warriors--

when you join my command,

you take on debit.

That debit you owe me... personally.

Each and every man under my command

owes me 100 Nazi scalps.

And I want my scalps.

And all y'all will get me 100 Nazi scalps

taken from the heads of 100 dead Nazis,

or you will die trying.

[speaking German]

[buzzer sounds]

Hey, Hirschberg.

Send that Kraut sarge over.

Hirschberg: You, go.

Sergeant Werner Rachtmann.

Lieutenant Aldo Raine, pleased to meet you.

You know what sit down means, Werner?

Yes.

Then sit down.

How's your English, Werner?

'Cause need be, we got a couple fellas can translate.

Wicki there--

an Austrian Jew who got the fuck out of Munich

while the getting was good, became American.

Got drafted, come back to give y'all what for.

Another one up there you might be familiar with,

Sergeant Hugo Stiglitz.

Heard of him?

Everybody in the German army has heard of Hugo Stiglitz.

[laughing]

Narrator: The reason for Hugo Stiglitz's

celebrity among German soldiers is simple.

As a German enlisted man,

- [gunshots] - ...he killed 13 Gestapo officers.

[groaning]

Instead of putting him up against the wall,

the high command decided to send him back to Berlin

to be made an example of.

Needless to say,

once the Basterds heard about him,

he never got there.

Sergeant Hugo Stiglitz?

Lieutenant Aldo Raine.

These are the Basterds.

Ever heard of us?

We just wanted to say we're a big fan of your work.

- When it comes to killing Nazis... - [soldier groans]

...I think you show great talent.

I pride myself in having an eye for that kind of talent.

But your status as a Nazi killer is still amateur.

We all come here to see if you want to go pro.

Can I assume you know who we are?

You're Aldo the Apache.

- [cheering] - Hey!

Werner, if you heard of us,

you probably heard we ain't in the prisoner taking business.

We in the killing Nazi business.

And cousin, business is a-booming.

- [laughing] - Soldier: Oh, yeah.

That leaves two ways we can play this out.

Either kill you or let you go.

Whether or not you're gonna leave this ditch alive

depends entirely on you.

Up the road a piece there's an orchard.

Besides you, we know there's another

Kraut patrol fucking around here somewhere.

If that patrol were to have any crack shots,

that orchard would be a goddamn sniper's delight.

So if you ever want to eat

a sauerkraut sandwich again,

you gotta show me on this here map

where they are.

You gotta tell me how many they are,

and you gotta tell me what kinda artillery

they're carrying with 'em.

[chuckles]

You can't expect me to divulge information

that would put German lives in danger.

Well, now, Werner,

that's where you're wrong. That's exactly what I expect.

I need to know about Germans hiding in trees.

And you need to tell me.

And you need to tell me right now.

Just take that finger of yours

and point out on this here map

where this party's being held.

How many is a-coming,

and what they brought to play with.

I respectfully refuse, sir.

- [knocking] - Hear that?

- [knocking continues] - Yes.

That's Sergeant Donny Donowitz.

You might know him better by his nickname--

"The Bear Jew."

If you heard of Aldo the Apache,

you gotta have heard about the Bear Jew.

I heard of the Bear Jew.

What did you hear?

Beats German soldiers with a club.

He bashes their brains in with a baseball bat

is what he does.

Werner, I'm gonna ask you one last goddamn time,

and if you still respectfully refuse,

I'm calling the Bear Jew over.

He's gonna take that big bat of his

and he's gonna beat your ass to death with it.

Now take your wiener-schnitzel- looking finger

and point out on this map what I want to know.

Fuck you,

and your Jew dogs!

[laughing, clapping]

Actually, we're all tickled to hear you say that.

Quite frankly, watching Donny beat Nazis to death

is the closest we ever get to going to the movies.

- Donny! - Yeah?

We got us a German here who wants to die for country. Oblige him.

[knocking]

[knocking continues]

[knocking continues]

[knocking intensifies]

[cheers and applause]

Did you get that for killing Jews?

Bravery.

[soldiers shouting, cheering]

[laughing] Oh, no!

About now, I'd be shitting my pants if I was you.

Teddy fucking Williams knocks it out of the park!

Fenway Park is on its feet for Teddy fucking Ballgame!

He went yard on that one!

On to fucking Landsdowne Street!

You!

Damn it, Hirschberg.

Donny, bring that other one over here.

Alive!

Get the fuck up! Batter up! You're on deck!

Two hits-- I hit you, you hit the ground.

- English? - Nein.

Wicki.

Ask him if he wants to live.

- [speaking German] - Ja, sir.

Tell him to point out on this map the German position.

[speaking German]

[soldiers laughing]

Ask him how many Germans.

[speaking German]

Round about 12.

What kind of artillery?

[speaking German]

Raine: When you report what happened here,

you can't tell 'em you told us what you told us.

They'll shoot you. They're gonna want to know

why are you so special we let you live.

So tell 'em we let you live

so you could spread the word through the ranks

what's gonna happen to every Nazi we find.

[speaking German]

Now that you survived the war,

when you get home what you gonna do?

[speaking German]

He's gonna hug his mother.

[sniffs] Well, ain't that nice.

Ask if he's gonna take off his uniform.

[speaking German]

He's gonna burn it.

That's what we thought.

We don't like that.

See, we like our Nazis in uniforms.

That way you can spot 'em--

[snaps] just like that.

[speaking German]

Once you take off that uniform,

ain't nobody gonna know you's a Nazi.

That don't sit well with us.

[speaking German]

So I'm gonna give you a little something you can't take off.

You know, Lieutenant,

you're getting pretty good at that.

You know how you get to Carnegie Hall, don't you?

Practice.

[speaking French]

[clears throat]

[knocking]

[speaking French]

[speaking German]

- Heil Hitler. - Heil Hitler.

[speaking French]

[speaking German]

[laughing]

Hallo, Hallo, Hallo, Frederick Zoller.

[continuing in German]

[speaking French]

- Heil Hitler. - Heil Hitler.

Au revoir.

[speaking German]

[speaking French]

[clears throat]

Au revoir.

[speaking French]

[car approaches, brakes squeal]

[speaking German]

[speaking French]

[speaking German]

[speaking French]

[speaking German]

[speaking German]

[laughing]

[laughing continuing]

[speaking French]

[speaking German]

[speaking French]

[speaking German]

[speaking French]

[wheezing, gurgling]

[speaking German]

[translating in French]

[speaking German]

[translating]

[speaking German]

[Mondino translating]

[speaking German]

[speaking French]

[clears throat]

[speaking German]

[Mondino translating]

[speaking German]

[speaking German]

[laughing]

[translating in French]

[speaking German]

- [translating] - [speaking German]

[speaks French]

Landa: Au revoir, Shosanna!

[speaking German]

[Goebbels laughing]

[speaking German]

[kisses]

[footsteps departing]

[speaking French]

[inhaling deeply]

[exhales]

[lighter clicking]

[gasping]

[speaking German]

- [translating] - [speaking French]

[Goebbels shouting in German]

[speaking French]

Narrator: At that time,

35 millimeter nitrate film

was so flammable

that you couldn't even bring a reel onto a streetcar.

You can't bring those there in a public vehicle.

- They're films, ain't they? - Yes.

Then they're flammable. Go on, hop off.

Narrator: Because nitrate film

burns three times faster than paper.

Shosanna has a collection

of over 350 nitrate film prints.

[speaking French]

[footsteps approaching]

Right this way, Lieutenant.

[clears throat]

Lieutenant Archie Hicox reporting, sir.

General Ed Fenech.

At ease, Hicox.

Drink?

If you offer me a scotch and plain water,

I could drink a scotch and plain water.

Thattaboy, Lieutenant.

Make it yourself like a good chap, will you?

The bar's in the globe.

Something for yourself, sir?

Whisky, straight.

No junk in it.

It says here that you speak German fluently.

Like a Katzenjammer kid.

And your occupation before the war?

I'm a film critic.

List your accomplishments.

Well, sir,

such as they are, I write reviews and articles

for a publication called "Films and Filmmakers."

And I've had two books published.

Hmm, impressive.

Don't be modest, Lieutenant,

what are their titles?

The first book was called,

"Art of the Eyes, the Heart and the Mind:

A study of German cinema in the '20s."

The second one was called, "24 Frame da Vinci."

It's a subtextual film criticism study

of the work of German director G.W. Pabst.

What shall we drink to, sir?

Well, um...

down with Hitler.

All the way down, sir.

Yes. Yes.

Are you familiar with German cinema under the Third Reich?

Yes, obviously I haven't seen any of the films

made in the last three years,

but I'm familiar with it.

Explain it to me.

Pardon, sir?

Well, this little escapade of ours

requires a knowledge of the German film industry

under the Third Reich.

Explain to me UFA under Goebbels.

Goebbels considers the films he's making

to be the beginning of a new era in German cinema,

an alternative to what he considers

the Jewish-German intellectual cinema of the '20s

and the Jewish-controlled dogma of Hollywood.

How's he doing?

Frightfully. Sorry, sir. Once again?

You say he wants to take on the Jews

at their own game.

Well, compared to, say,

Louis B. Mayer,

how's he doing?

Quite well, actually.

Since Goebbels has taken over,

film attendance has steadily risen in Germany

over the last eight years.

But Louis B. Mayer wouldn't be

Goebbels' proper opposite number.

I believe Goebbels sees himself

closer to David O. Selznick.

Brief him.

Lieutenant Hicox,

at this point in time, I'd like to brief you

on Operation Kino.

Three days from now,

Joseph Goebbels is throwing a gala premiere

of one of his new movies in Paris.

- What film, sir? - The motion picture is called "Nation's Pride."

In attendance at this joyous Germatic occasion

will be Goebbels, Goring, Bormann,

and most of the German High Command,

including all high-ranking officers

of both the SS and the Gestapo,

as well as luminaries of the Nazi propaganda film industry.

The master race at play, eh?

Basically, we have all our rotten eggs

in one basket.

The objective of Operation Kino...

blow up the basket.

And like the snows of yesteryear,

gone from this earth.

Jolly good, sir.

An American Secret Service outfit

that lives deep behind enemy lines

will be your assist.

The Germans call them the Basterds.

- The Basterds? - Yeah.

Never heard of them.

Whole point of the Secret Service,

old boy, you not hearing of them.

But the Jerries have heard of them

because these Yanks have been them the devil.

You'll be dropped into France,

about 24 kilometers outside of Paris.

The Basterds will be waiting for you.

First thing, you'll go to a little village

called Nadine.

In Nadine, there's a tavern called La Louisiane.

There you'll rendezvous with our double agent.

She'll take you from there.

She's the one who's going to get you into the premiere.

It will be you, her, and two German-born members of the Basterds.

She's also made all the other arrangements

you're going to need.

How will I know her?

I suspect that won't be too much trouble for you.

Your contact is Bridget von Hammersmark.

Bridget von Hammersmark?

The German movie star is working for England?

Yes, for the last two years now.

One could even say that Operation Kino

is her brain child.

Indeed.

Got the gist?

Well, I think so, sir.

Paris when it sizzles.

You didn't say the goddamn rendezvous was in a fucking basement.

I didn't know.

It said it was in a tavern.

- It is a tavern. - Yeah. In a basement.

You know, fighting in a basement offers a lot of difficulties,

number one being you're fighting in a basement.

What if we go in there and she's not even there?

We wait. Don't worry.

She's a British spy.

She'll make the rendezvous.

Stiglitz, right?

That's right, sir.

I hear you're pretty good with that.

You know, we're not looking for trouble right now,

simply making contact with our agent.

Should be uneventful.

However,

the off chance I'm wrong,

things prove eventful,

I need to know we can all remain calm.

I don't look calm to you?

[chuckles]

Well, now that you put it like that...

I guess you do.

This Jerry of yours, Stiglitz,

he's not exactly the loquacious type, is he?

Is that the kind of man you need?

Loquacious type?

Fair point, Lieutenant.

So, you all get in trouble in there,

what are we supposed to do,

make bets on how it call comes out?

If we get into trouble,

we can handle it.

But if trouble does happen,

we need you to make damn sure

no Germans, or French, for that matter,

escape from that basement.

If Frau von Hammersmark's cover is compromised,

the mission is kaput.

Speaking of Frau von Hammersmark,

whose idea was it for the death-trap rendezvous?

She chose the spot.

Oh, isn't that just dandy?

Look. She's not a military strategist.

She's just an actress.

Well, you don't got to be Stonewall Jackson

to know you don't want to fight in a basement.

She wasn't picking a place to fight.

She was picking a place isolated

and without Germans.

[speaking German]

[all trilling]

[glass shatters, tray clatters]

Eric, merci beaucoup.

[speaking German]

[speaking French]

[speaking German]

[all cheer]

[laughter]

[speaking German]

[all cheer]

[humming]

[rock guitar playing]

[whip cracking]

[Von Hammersmark laughing]

[groans]

[speaking German]

Nein.

[laughing]

[speaks French]

[speaking German]

[belches]

Well, if this is it, old boy...

I hope you don't mind if I go out speaking the kings.

By all means, Captain.

There's a special rung in hell

reserved for people who waste good scotch.

Seeing as I may be rapping on the door momentarily...

I must say...

damn good stuff, sir.

Now, about this pickle...

we find ourselves in.

It would appear that there's only

one thing left for you to do.

And what would that be?

- Stiglitz. - Say auf Weidersehen to your Nazi balls.

[panting]

[door opens]

You outside! Who are you?

British? American?

What?

Raine: We're American.

What are you?

I'm a German, you idiot!

You speak English pretty good for a German.

I agree.

So, let's talk.

Okay, talk.

I'm a father.

My baby was born today in Frankfurt

five hours ago.

His name is Max.

We were in here drinking, celebrating.

They're the ones that came in

shooting and killing.

It's not my fault!

Okay, it wasn't your fault.

What's your name, soldier?

Wilhelm.

Now...

is there anybody alive on our side?

- No! - I'm alive!

[speaks German]

Raine: Who's that?

Is the girl on your side?

Which girl?

Who do you think?

Von Hammersmark.

Yeah, she's ours. Is she okay?

[speaking German]

Wilhelm!

She's been shot!

But she's alive.

No.

Okay, Wilhelm.

What do you say we make us a deal?

What's your name?

Aldo.

Okay, Wilhelm, here's my deal.

You let me and one of my men

come down there and take the girl away.

No guns-- no guns me, no guns you.

And we take the girl and leave.

It's that simple, Willy.

You go your way, and we go ours,

and little Max gets to grow up

playing catch with his daddy.

So what do you say, Willy?

We got us a deal?

Aldo?

I'm here, Willy.

I want to trust you,

but-but...

but how can I?

What choice you got, son?

Okay, okay.

Aldo...

I'm going to trust you.

Come down.

Hey, Willy, what's with the machine gun?

I thought we had us a deal.

We still have a deal. Now get the girl and go.

Not so fast.

We only got a deal if we trust each other.

And a Mexican standoff ain't trust.

You need guns on me for it to be a Mexican standoff.

You got guns on us.

You decide to shoot, we're dead.

Up top, they got grenades.

They drop 'em down here, you're dead.

That's a Mexican standoff, and that was not the deal.

No trust, no deal.

Wilhelm...

[speaking German]

All right, Aldo.

Fine.

Just take that fucking traitor

and get her out of my sight.

[grunting]

Not so goddamn fast, doc.

Tell him to go play with his dogs.

[speaks French]

[clattering]

[dogs barking]

Before we yank that slug out you,

you need to answer a few questions.

A few questions about what?

About I got three men dead back there.

Why don't you try telling us what the fuck happened?

The British officer blew his German act

and the Gestapo major saw it.

Before we get into who shot John...

why did you invite my men

to a rendezvous in a basement with a bunch of Nazis?

I can see since you didn't see what happened inside

that the Nazis being there must look odd.

Yeah, we got a word for that kind of odd in English.

It's called "suspicious."

[groaning]

Everybody needs to calm down!

You're letting your imagination get the better of you!

[screams] You met the sergeant yourself!

Willy-- You remember him, don't you?

Yeah, I remember him.

His wife had a baby tonight.

He had just become a fa--

He had just become a father!

His commanding officer gave him and his mates

the night off to celebrate.

The Germans being there was either a trap set by me

or a tragic coincidence.

It couldn't be both.

How'd the shooting start?

The Englishman gave himself away.

How'd he do that?

He ordered three glasses.

We order three glasses.

That's the German three.

The other looks odd.

Germans would and did notice it.

Okay, let's pretend there were no Germans

and everything went exactly the way it was supposed to.

What was the next step?

Tuxedos.

To get them into the premiere

wearing military uniforms

with all the military there would have been suicide.

[breathing heavily]

But going as members of the German film industry,

they wear tuxedos and fit in with everybody else.

I arranged for the tailor

to fit three tuxedos tonight.

How'd you intend to get them in that premiere?

Hand me my purse.

Lieutenant Hicox was going as my escort.

The other two were going

as a German cameraman and his assistant.

You still get us in that premiere?

You speak German better than your friends?

No.

Have I been shot? Yes.

I don't see me tripping the light fantastique

up at the red carpet anytime soon.

Least of all, by tomorrow night.

[dogs barking]

However...

there's something you don't know.

There have been two recent developments

regarding Operation Kino.

One-- the venue has been changed

from the Ritz to a much smaller venue.

Enormous change at the last minute?

That's not very Germatic.

Why the hell is Goebbels doing stuff so damn peculiar?

It probably has something to do with the second development.

Which is?

Der Fuhrer is attending the premiere.

[speaking German]

Fuck a duck!

[dogs barking]

What are you thinking?

I'm thinking of getting a whack

at planting old Uncle Adolf makes this a horse of a different color.

What is that supposed to mean?

It means you getting us in that premiere.

I'm probably going to end up losing this leg!

Bye-bye, acting career! Fun while it lasted.

How do you expect me to walk the red carpet?

[sniffs]

Doggy doc's going to dig that slug out your gam.

He's gonna wrap it up in a cast,

and you got a good how-I-broke-my-leg- mountain-climbing story.

That's German, ain't it? Y'all like climbing mountains, don't you?

I don't. I like smoking, drinking,

and ordering in restaurants, but I see your point.

We fill you up with morphine till it's coming out your ears

and just limp your little ass up that rouge carpet.

I know this is a silly question

before I ask it, but...

can you Americans speak any other language than English?

We both speak a little Italian.

With an atrocious accent, no doubt.

But that doesn't exactly kill us in the crib.

Germans don't have a good ear for Italian.

So you mumble Italian and brazen through it.

Is that a plan?

That's about it.

That sounds good.

Sounds like shit.

What else we gonna do, go home?

No. That sounds good.

If you don't blow it,

with that, I can get you in the building.

Who does what?

Well, I speak the most Italian, so...

I'll be your escort. Donowitz speaks the second most,

so he'll be your Italian cameraman.

Omar, third most. He'll be Donny's assistant.

I don't speak Italian.

Like I said, third best.

Just keep your fucking mouth shut.

In fact, why don't you start practicing right now?

[speaking German]

[engine turns over]

[David Bowie's "Cat People" playing]

♪ See these eyes so green ♪

♪ I can stare for a thousand years ♪

♪ Colder than the moon ♪

♪ It's been so long ♪

♪ And I've been putting out fire ♪

♪ With gasoline ♪

♪ See these eyes so red ♪

♪ Red like jungle burning bright ♪

♪ Those who feel me near ♪

♪ Pull the blinds and change their minds ♪

♪ It's been so long ♪

♪ Still this pulsing night ♪

♪ A plague I call a heartbeat ♪

[speaks French]

Yes.

♪ See these tears so blue ♪

♪ An ageless heart that can never mend ♪

♪ Tears can never dry ♪

♪ A judgment made can never bend ♪

♪ See these eyes so green ♪

♪ I can stare for a thousand years ♪

♪ Just be still with me ♪

♪ You wouldn't believe what I've been through ♪

♪ You've been so long ♪

♪ Well, it's been so long ♪

♪ And I've been putting out the fire with gasoline ♪

♪ Putting out fire ♪

♪ With gasoline ♪

♪ Been so long ♪

♪ Been so long ♪

♪ Well, it's been so long ♪

♪ Been so long ♪

♪ I've been putting out fire ♪

♪ Been so long ♪

♪ Well, it's been so long ♪

♪ Been so long ♪

[indistinct conversations]

[speaking German]

[speaking French]

[speaking German]

[speaking German]

[laughing]

[Landa laughs hysterically]

[speaking Italian]

[speaks Italian]

[speaking Italian]

Mm.

Gorlomi?

Gorla-- lomi?

Gorlomi.

Gorlomi.

Gorlomi.

Antonio Margheriti.

Hmm.

Margheriti.

Margheriti.

Margheriti...

Dominick Decocco.

Dominick Decocco.

Bravo! Bravo.

[speaking German]

[speaks Italian]

[speaking German]

[speaks Italian]

Both: Arrivederci.

♪ Arrivederci ♪

Arrivederci.

[speaking German]

Scusi, scusi.

Pardon, pardon.

[knock on door]

[both laugh]

[speaking French]

[speaking German]

Salute.

[speaks Italian]

[exhales sharply]

Voilà.

What's that American expression?

If the shoe fits, you must wear it.

[chuckles]

[grunting]

[gasping]

Who's that? Shit!

Fucking shithead fascist fuck!

Fuck you!

Ge-- fascist shithead fuck!

Fuck you, too!

Fuck!

Goddamn Nazi fucks!

Sons of bitches! Get your hands off me!

Fuckin' bratwurst-smelling-- God damn you!

Get off!

Hmm.

You Jerry-bangin', Lindbergh-smellin'--

As Stanley said to Livingstone,

Lieutenant Aldo Raine, I presume?

Hans Landa.

[engine turns over]

You've had a nice, long run, Aldo.

Alas, you're now in the hands of the SS.

My hands, to be exact.

And they've been waiting a long time

to touch you.

[chuckles] Caught you flinching.

[speaks German]

Touch me again, Kraut-burger.

- Utivich? - Is that you, Lieutenant?

Yeah.

Do you know what happened to Donnie?

Omar?

The woman?

No, I do not.

Tell me, Aldo,

if I were sitting where you're sitting,

would you show me mercy?

Nope.

What is that English expression about shoes and feet?

Looks like the shoe's on the other foot.

Yeah, I was just thinking that.

[speaks German]

So, you're Aldo the Apache.

So, you're the Jew Hunter.

I'm a detective.

A damn good detective.

Finding people is my specialty,

so naturally I worked for the Nazis finding people

and, yes, some of them were Jews,

but Jew Hunter? [chortles]

Just a name that stuck.

Well, you do have to admit, it is catchy.

Do you control the nicknames your enemies bestow on you?

Aldo the Apache and the Little Man?

What do you mean the Little Man?

Germans' nickname for you.

The Germans' nickname for me is the Little Man?

And as if to make my point,

I'm a little surprised how tall you are in real life.

You're a little fellow,

but not circus-midget little,

as your reputation suggests.

Where's my men?

Where's Bridget von Hammersmark?

Well, let's just say

she got what she deserved.

And when you purchase friends like Bridget von Hammersmark,

you get what you pay for.

Now, as far as your paisanos,

Sergeant Donowitz and Private Omar--

How you know our names?

Lieutenant Aldo...

if you don't think I wouldn't interrogate

every single one of your swastika-marked survivors...

We simply aren't operating

on the level of mutual respect I assumed.

No, I guess not.

Well...

back to the whereabouts of your two Italian saboteurs.

As of this moment,

both Omar and Donowitz

should be sitting in the very seats we left them in.

0023 and 0024, if my memory serves,

explosives still around their ankles,

still ready to explode,

and your mission--

some would call it terrorist plot--

as of this moment is still a go.

That's a pretty exciting story. What's next?

"Eliza on Ice"?

However...

all I have to do

is pick up this phone right here,

inform the cinema, and your plan's kaput.

If they're still here...

and if they're still alive,

and that's one big if.

There ain't no way you're gonna take them boys

without setting off them bombs.

I have no doubt.

And, yes, some Germans will die

and, yes, it will ruin the evening,

and, yes, Goebbels will be

very, very, very mad at you

for what you've done to his big night,

but you won't get Hitler, you won't get Goebbels,

you won't get Goring, and you won't get Bormann.

And you need all four to end the war.

But if I don't pick up this phone right here,

you may very well get all four.

And if you get all four,

you end the war...

tonight.

So, gentlemen,

let's discuss the prospect

of ending the war tonight.

So, the way I see it,

since Hitler's death or possible rescue

rests solely on my reaction,

if I do nothing,

it's as if I'm causing his death even more than yourselves,

wouldn't you agree?

I guess so.

How about you, Utivich?

I guess so, too.

Gentlemen, I have no intention

of killing Hitler and killing Goebbels

and killing Goring and killing Bormann,

not to mention winning the war single-handedly for the Allies

only later to find myself standing before a Jewish tribunal.

If you want to win the war tonight...

we have to make a deal.

What kind of deal?

The kind you wouldn't have the authority to make.

However, I'm sure this mission of yours

has a commanding officer.

A general.

Mm, I'm betting for...

OSS would be my guess.

Oooh! That's a bingo!

Is that the way you say it? "That's a bingo"?

You just say "bingo".

Bingo!

How fun!

But I digress. Where were we?

Ja, make a deal.

Over there is a very capable two-way radio,

and sitting behind it is a more than capable radio operator

named... Hermann.

Get me someone on the other end of that radio with the power of the pen

to authorize my...

let's call it the terms of my conditional surrender.

If that tastes better going down.

You know, where I'm from--

Yeah, where is that exactly?

Maynardville, Tennessee.

I've done my share of bootlegging.

Up there, if you engage in what the federal government calls illegal activity

but what we call just a man trying to make a living for his family

selling moonshine liquor,

it behooves oneself to keep his wits.

Long story short,

we hear a story too good to be true...

it ain't.

Sitting in your chair,

I would probably say the same thing.

And 999.999 times out of a million,

you would be correct.

But in the pages of history,

every once in a while,

fate reaches out and extends its hand.

What shall the history books read?

[speaking German]

[people shouting]

Man: I implore you,

we must destroy that tower!

Sergeant, that tower...

Psst!

Psst!

Scusi.

Scusi.

Pardon. Scusi, scusi.

Pardon.

Scusi! Pardon.

Scusi.

[speaks French]

[crowd cheering]

Landa: So, when the military history of this night is written,

it will be recorded that I was part of Operation Kino

from the very beginning as a double agent.

Anything I've done in my guise as an SS colonel

was sanctioned by the OSS as a necessary evil

to establish my cover with the Germans,

and it was my placement of Lieutenant Raine's dynamite

in Hitler and Goebbels' opera box

that assured their demise.

[speaking German]

[ticking]

By the way, that last part's actually true.

I want my full military pension and benefits

under my proper rank.

I want to receive the Congressional Medal of Honor

for my invaluable assistance

in the toppling of the Third Reich.

In fact, I want all the members of Operation Kino

to receive the Congressional Medal of Honor.

Full citizenship for myself--

well, that goes without saying--

and I would like the United States of America

to purchase property for me on Nantucket Island

as a reward for all the countless lives I've saved

by bringing the tyranny of the National Socialist Party

to a swifter than imagined end.

Do you have all that, sir?

[chuckles] I look forward

to seeing you face to face, as well, sir.

Lieutenant Raine? Right here.

Yes, sir?

Man: Colonel Landa will put you and Private Utivich

in a truck as prisoners.

Then he and his radio operator will get in the truck

and drive to our lines.

Upon crossing our lines,

Colonel Landa and his men will surrender to you.

You will then take over driving of the truck

and bring them straight to me for debriefing.

- Is that clear, Lieutenant? - Yes, sir.

Over and out.

[crowd cheering]

[laughing]

[speaking German]

[knock on door]

[speaking French]

[crowd cheering]

[Fredrick groaning]

[shrieks]

When I kill that guy, you got 30 feet to get to that guard.

- Can you do it? - I have to.

[crowd cheering]

Champagne?

[yells]

[speaking German]

Who wants to send a message to Germany?

I have a message for Germany.

[crowd murmuring]

That you are all going to die.

And I want you to look deep into the face

of the Jew who is going to do it.

Marcel, burn it down.

Oui, Shosanna.

[laughing]

[crowd screaming]

My name is Shosanna Dreyfus,

and this is the face...

of Jewish vengeance.

[laughing]

[speaking German]

Landa: Hermann, uncuff them.

I'm officially surrendering myself

over to you, Lieutenant Raine.

We're your prisoners.

How about my knife?

[chuckles]

Thank you very much, Colonel.

Utivich, cuff the colonel's hands behind his back.

Aww, is that really necessary?

I'm a slave to appearances.

Scalp Hermann.

Are you mad?

What have you done?

I made a deal with your general for that man's life!

Yeah, they made that deal,

but they don't give a fuck about him.

- They need you. - You'll be shot for this!

No, I don't think so. More like chewed out.

I've been chewed out before.

You know, Utivich and myself heard

that deal you made with the brass.

End the war tonight?

I'd make that deal.

How about you, Utivich? You make that deal?

I'd make that deal.

I don't blame you.

Damn good deal.

And that pretty little nest you feathered for yourself.

Well, if you're willing to barbecue the whole high command,

I suppose that's worth certain considerations.

But I do have one question.

When you get to your little place on Nantucket Island,

I imagine you're gonna take off

that handsome-looking SS uniform of yours,

ain't you?

That's what I thought.

Now, that I can't abide.

How about you, Utivich? Can you abide it?

Not one damn bit, sir.

I mean, if I had my way,

you'd wear that goddamn uniform

for the rest of your pecker-sucking life.

But I'm aware that ain't practical.

I mean, at some point, you're gonna have to take it off.

So I'm gonna give you a little something you can't take off.

[screaming]

[Landa continues screaming]

You know something, Utivich?

I think this might just be my masterpiece.

[orchestral music playing]

[music continues]