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1
00:00:02,306 --> 00:00:03,699
NANDOR:
Guillermo, I want you to go
2
00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:05,222
tomorrow, and I want you to get
3
00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:08,051
some of those things
that humans use for smelling.
4
00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:10,314
Rhymes with "hoses."
5
00:00:10,358 --> 00:00:11,837
Noses?
6
00:00:11,881 --> 00:00:13,926
NANDOR:
No. It's a green, spiky stick.
7
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,841
You know, with the colors
on the top.
8
00:00:15,885 --> 00:00:17,713
You got the red.
"I love you.
9
00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:19,715
-Here's some..."
-Roses.
10
00:00:19,758 --> 00:00:21,282
NANDOR:
Roses, yes.
11
00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:25,068
The Baron's attic has got a bitof a dank whiff.
12
00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:26,287
Since the Baron arrived,
13
00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:28,028
things have been very stressful.
14
00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:32,293
That's our familiar.
15
00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:34,295
NANDOR:
He's staying in our attic
at the moment, and
16
00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:38,473
that's a lot of storage space
that we-we can't use.
17
00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:40,431
When is he going
to leave, anyway?
18
00:00:40,475 --> 00:00:41,911
Shh, Nadja!
19
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:44,218
Guillermo.
20
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,525
Well, pull it, then.
21
00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:49,092
[loud clatter]
22
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:50,311
-NADJA: Oh!
-Too loud!
23
00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:51,747
-He needs to pipe down
with that.
-Yes.
24
00:00:51,790 --> 00:00:53,705
-When will he leave?
-Shh.
25
00:00:53,749 --> 00:00:56,099
Nadja, you must keep
your voice down, my darling.
26
00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:58,493
Oh, for goodness' sake,
I'm not scared of him.
27
00:00:58,536 --> 00:01:00,495
-[cries out]
-Oh...
28
00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:05,021
The Baron has awakened?
29
00:01:09,025 --> 00:01:12,159
Sorry, was that a yes?
30
00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:15,118
-LASZLO: Was it a nod?
-No, I asked and she went,
31
00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:16,902
she went and did this.
32
00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:18,208
That is a nod,
I've seen her do it before.
33
00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:19,731
What, this? Like this?
34
00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:21,255
-He's awake.
-COLIN: He's awake.
35
00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:22,734
[laughs]:
Oh, he's awake.
36
00:01:22,778 --> 00:01:24,910
All right, I-I can feel
37
00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:27,478
his energy, it's very dark
and angry, and I think
38
00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:30,351
it's pointed at you guys.
[chuckles]
39
00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:31,526
Hate to be you guys.
40
00:01:31,569 --> 00:01:34,224
["You're Dead"
by Norma Tanega playing]
41
00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:37,271
♪ Don't sing if you want
to live long♪
42
00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:39,925
♪ They have no use
for your song♪
43
00:01:39,969 --> 00:01:42,493
♪ You're dead, you're dead,
you're dead♪
44
00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:44,974
♪ You're dead
and out of this world♪
45
00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:50,153
♪ Now your hope and compassion
is gone♪
46
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:52,808
♪ You sold out your dream
to the world♪
47
00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:55,245
♪ Stay dead, stay dead,
stay dead♪
48
00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:58,727
♪ You're dead
and out of this world.♪
49
00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:02,078
♪
50
00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:11,740
In Europe, a couple of centuries
ago, the Baron was a fun guy.
51
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:14,569
And we got up to some
very messy business together.
52
00:02:14,612 --> 00:02:16,397
-Yes.
-Problem is,
53
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,181
he's turned up recently
54
00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:21,793
with what only can be describedas pretty old-fashioned ideas.
55
00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:25,362
He's obsessed with the idea ofvampires taking over all humans,
56
00:02:25,406 --> 00:02:28,191
which, at first, you're like,
"Oh, that's a cool idea,"
57
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:30,759
but then, after a while,
it's like,
58
00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:32,761
"Sorry, why are we doing this?"
59
00:02:32,804 --> 00:02:34,980
Yeah.
60
00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:36,330
You can bet your balls
he's gonna be furious
61
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:37,983
we haven't come up
with a conquering plan.
62
00:02:38,027 --> 00:02:39,202
NANDOR:
Maybe he's not angry.
63
00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:40,638
Maybe he's just wanting a chat?
64
00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:43,337
Get up with the latest
vampire gossip.
65
00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:44,773
-[mouths]-That's highly unlucky, Nandor.
66
00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:46,340
The man's a fucking psychopath.
67
00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:47,993
I think he's going
to kill us all.
68
00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:49,343
That's more likely.
69
00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:51,345
Baron, we are here.
70
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,651
But there's really no needfor any kind of grand entrance.
71
00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:56,611
Or j-just do your bit--
that's fine, too.
72
00:02:56,654 --> 00:02:59,614
[thunder rumbles]
73
00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:03,052
♪ In nomine Patris...♪
74
00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:05,010
My slumber is...
75
00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:06,098
[distorted]:
complete.
76
00:03:06,142 --> 00:03:07,361
Great.
Uh, we weren't sure
77
00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:09,450
that you wanted us
to conquer the whole
78
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:11,626
of North America, or just, you
know, maybe a couple streets?
79
00:03:11,669 --> 00:03:13,845
[distorted]:
Silence!
80
00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:17,806
I have heard so much of
the wonders of this New World,
81
00:03:17,849 --> 00:03:21,244
yet I have seen of it
not but this attic.
82
00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:24,465
Uh, would you like us
to get you a TV?
83
00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:25,857
No.
84
00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:28,643
I want to see the sights.
85
00:03:28,686 --> 00:03:30,645
-I want a night on the town.
-[thunder crashes]
86
00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:33,256
A night on the town?
87
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,084
Really? I mean,
won't that be a bit difficult
88
00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:36,128
with your, um...?
[grunts]
89
00:03:36,172 --> 00:03:37,521
[Nadja gasps]
90
00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:38,479
Oh.
91
00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,481
You were saying?
92
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:45,094
[strains]: No, but I'm sure
we can help you fit in.
93
00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:46,530
[grunts]
94
00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:47,836
Marvelous.
95
00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:51,274
-[coughs]
-Ah, relax.
96
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,842
This is going to be fun.
97
00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:55,060
No.
98
00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:56,497
Oh, that's the documentary crew.
99
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:57,715
-[growls]
-[screams]
100
00:03:57,759 --> 00:04:00,065
[buzzing, distorted audio]
101
00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:01,719
[dialogue inaudible]
102
00:04:01,763 --> 00:04:04,505
We are so sorry that...
103
00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:07,899
our houseguest ate
your sound recordist.
104
00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:09,945
NADJA:
This... what is this
"conquering America" stuff?
105
00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:11,425
He's going to get us killed.
106
00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:13,427
Not unless he tries
to kill us himself first.
107
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:15,559
-He threw me
straight across the room.
-Most importantly, we are...
108
00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:17,300
[dialogue inaudible]
109
00:04:17,344 --> 00:04:18,432
...that he ate
your sound recordist.
110
00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:19,520
That was very...
111
00:04:19,563 --> 00:04:20,521
[dialogue inaudible]
112
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:23,088
Yeah. Wasn't very cool.
We'll, uh,
113
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:25,308
we'll make sure
we look after you people.
114
00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:26,744
And how are we going to do that?
115
00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:28,180
[whispers]:
I don't know, uh...
116
00:04:33,011 --> 00:04:34,578
NADJA:
Of course it's a trap.
117
00:04:34,622 --> 00:04:36,319
Why would the Baron want
to go on a night out?
118
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:38,408
Because he wants to know howmuch of America we've conquered.
119
00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:40,323
And when he finds out thatwe've just conquered our street
120
00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,456
and part of Ashley Street,
he's going to kill us.
121
00:04:42,499 --> 00:04:44,719
But if we seriously think
he's gonna "quack" us...
122
00:04:44,762 --> 00:04:46,764
-NADJA: Which we do.
-...then we should
"quack" him first.
123
00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:49,114
You want us to quackhim?
124
00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:52,683
If you think he's gonna
"whack" us first, yes.
125
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:55,904
Laszlo, be quiet. We will not
discuss this any further.
126
00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:57,471
It is the greatest violation
127
00:04:57,514 --> 00:05:00,474
of the unnatural order
by which we live.
128
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:02,563
Also, can he even die?
129
00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:04,739
-[door closes]
-NADJA: Oh, my...
-[shouts]
130
00:05:04,782 --> 00:05:06,131
NANDOR:
You happy now? You just scared
131
00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:07,481
the shit out of all three of us?
132
00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:08,960
Hmm? You don't knock anymore?
133
00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:11,354
Is this the new you? Hmm?
134
00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:13,487
Sorry, I just wanted to inform
you that the Baron's ready.
135
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,140
-Oh.
-NADJA: God...
136
00:05:15,184 --> 00:05:16,490
He's really terrifying.
137
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:19,144
Yes, okay, well, we all are,
we are vampires.
138
00:05:19,188 --> 00:05:20,363
Well...
139
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:22,452
-[hisses]
-Eh.
140
00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:24,498
[hisses]
141
00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:26,935
Get out.
142
00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:29,241
We shall call this night
Operation...
143
00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:31,592
Accidentally Kill the Baron.
144
00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:35,030
Absolutely not. At least think
of a different name.
145
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:38,381
This conversation
never happened.
146
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,561
[owl hoots]
147
00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:48,435
[creaking]
148
00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:51,263
[whispering]:
She keeps looking at me.
149
00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:55,485
Don't look at her.
150
00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:57,182
[door opens]
151
00:05:57,226 --> 00:05:59,750
[Nadja laughs nervously]
152
00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:02,013
Bloody hell,
he's wearing two ruffs.
153
00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:07,497
-[applause]
-Let our grand evening
on the town commence.
154
00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:08,977
-NADJA: Yes! Very good.
-[chuckles] Yes.
155
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:12,807
Yes, uh, this is what
you're going to wear?
156
00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,853
Is it not right?
157
00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:19,553
Y-Yes, I mean, you look
the... dog's knackers.
158
00:06:19,596 --> 00:06:23,034
But, um, where we come from,
two ruffs
159
00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:25,210
means you're up for anything.
160
00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:27,778
Uh, it's best just to kind ofblend in like-- like we are now.
161
00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:29,606
Yes.
162
00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,826
Yes, I see.
163
00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:35,656
I want to walk amongst
the commoners unnoticed.
164
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:37,614
-NADJA: Yes.
-A prince amongst paupers.
165
00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,573
-NADJA: Yes, very good.
Very good.
-NANDOR: Exactly.
166
00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:42,053
Two ruffs don't make a right.
167
00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:45,013
[low snarl]
168
00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:46,710
Colin Robinson.
169
00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:49,887
Oh, wow. Uh... hello.
170
00:06:49,931 --> 00:06:51,802
NANDOR:You wouldn't happen to have any
171
00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:55,284
human-type clothes
to lend to the Baron?
172
00:06:55,327 --> 00:06:58,809
Uh, yeah, I-I could
scrounge something up.
173
00:06:58,853 --> 00:07:00,028
What size are you?
174
00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:01,682
Mm, this size.
175
00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:05,250
And what kind of vibe
are-are you going for?
176
00:07:05,294 --> 00:07:09,037
Jeans, T-shirt? Are you a jeansand T-shirt type of guy?
177
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,691
Probably not shorts.
178
00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:15,260
Um, maybe some cords,
some w-wale cords.
179
00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:17,262
He is not coming along, is he?
180
00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:19,482
I will take care of it.
181
00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:23,094
Oh, okay. But don't make
a big thing out of it.
182
00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:24,879
-Mm?
-Okay.
183
00:07:24,922 --> 00:07:28,622
LASZLO:
Vampires have hidden
amongst humans
184
00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:30,319
for millennia.
185
00:07:30,362 --> 00:07:32,582
There are some in the community that believe
186
00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:35,716
that vampires
should rule the world.
187
00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:37,500
One such person
188
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:38,719
is the Baron.
189
00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:41,069
And he's become a massive prick.
190
00:07:41,112 --> 00:07:43,288
Absolutely agree.
191
00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:46,335
LASZLO:
Which is ironic,
because he doesn't have one.
192
00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:50,121
[bats squeaking]
193
00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:52,646
Where is he?
194
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:55,126
He was right behind us.
195
00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:56,780
-[cawing]
-LASZLO: Ah.
196
00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,869
NANDOR:
He's going to frighten
the townspeople.
197
00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:02,090
-Oh.
-[grunts]
198
00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:04,179
-LASZLO: Um...
-MAN: Holy shit.
199
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:06,311
A lot of these buildings
are, uh, are taverns,
200
00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:08,749
-or bars as they call them.
-NADJA: Don't mind him.
201
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:10,098
-WOMAN: Did you see that?
-Why are these pedestrians
202
00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:11,360
making rictus faces at us?
203
00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:12,579
MAN 2:
Oh, my God.
204
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:14,406
Devils suck, man.
[chuckles]
205
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:15,407
We are vampires!
206
00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:16,583
Shh! What are you doing?
207
00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:18,759
He is literally going around,
208
00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:22,110
telling everyone, "Nice to meetyou, I am vampire."
209
00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:23,894
And, you know,
there's only so many times
210
00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:26,723
you can say that he's joking,
because look at his face.
211
00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:30,161
-Yo, Laz. Nadja. Whoa...
-[low growl]
212
00:08:30,205 --> 00:08:33,774
I was just, uh, stocking upon some brews for the big game.
213
00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:35,950
Who is this guy?
[groaning]
214
00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:38,126
NADJA:
No, no, no. This is
our neighbor Sean, sire.
215
00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:39,780
NANDOR:
He brings our trash cans in
216
00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:41,738
when we forget them.
217
00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:42,739
[grunts]
218
00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:43,784
[coughs]
219
00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:45,960
What the fuck? How did he...?
220
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,570
LASZLO:
Shut up.
You won't remember anything
221
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:50,573
from the last five minutes.
222
00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:52,749
Yo, Laz, Nadja.
223
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,925
I was just going to stock up
on some more brews.
224
00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:57,406
-[groaning]
-Oh, no, no, no, no.
-LASZLO: No, no, no, no...
225
00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:00,714
BARON:
We will fill this place
226
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:03,412
with the carcasses
of the conquered.
227
00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:05,936
Some humans will become slaves.
228
00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:08,417
The rest, food.
229
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:10,854
Slave.
230
00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:12,856
WOMAN [over P.A.]:
Pharmacy, pick up
line three, please.
231
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:13,857
Pharmacy, line three.
232
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,380
[gasps]
233
00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:16,817
Food.
234
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:19,167
He's as mad as a wax banana.
235
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:21,169
-He's a fucking liability.
-I think it might be
236
00:09:21,212 --> 00:09:22,736
better if he dies.
237
00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:25,869
How about we just put his coffinon a nice, long ocean journey?
238
00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:28,959
Look at this wonderful talisman.
239
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:31,222
-Whoop.
-[laughter]
240
00:09:31,266 --> 00:09:33,747
Need I haggle
with the proprietor?
241
00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:36,837
-Just put it in your pocket.
-Hmm. It is done.
242
00:09:37,838 --> 00:09:40,884
BARON:
Let us see, what to drink.
243
00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:42,625
What to...
[gasps]
244
00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:45,410
[moans]
245
00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:46,455
-LASZLO: Oh, no, no.
-[laughs]
246
00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:48,631
[overlapping chatter]
247
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:50,807
NANDOR:Oh, give him a nice hug from us.
248
00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:52,809
-Is he okay? I...
-NADJA: Ha, ha.
249
00:09:52,853 --> 00:09:54,855
Whoa, dear. Hi.
250
00:09:54,898 --> 00:09:57,422
The Baron is being
very loud and obvious
251
00:09:57,466 --> 00:10:00,904
and vampirey and reckless.
252
00:10:00,948 --> 00:10:03,777
He had
a very high alcohol content.
253
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:06,431
Do you think maybe
we should move the body?
254
00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:09,043
Now he's just gone up
to a drunk man
255
00:10:09,086 --> 00:10:10,914
and he's drunk
the drunk man's blood
256
00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:13,047
that has made him drunk.
257
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:15,223
[sighs] Okay. That's a...
258
00:10:15,266 --> 00:10:16,877
Just a little dizzy. Okay.
259
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,270
-A little dizzy, little dizzy.
-[mouthing]
260
00:10:19,314 --> 00:10:20,532
[mouthing]
261
00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:22,665
[all whispering]
262
00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:24,319
I am better.
263
00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:26,451
Back in the saddle.
264
00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:28,366
The drinking saddle!
265
00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:30,717
That was bollocks.
266
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:38,507
♪ We need you now...♪
267
00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:40,944
You people are as much fun
as the plague.
268
00:10:40,988 --> 00:10:43,033
Remember the plague?
And how much fun it was?
269
00:10:43,077 --> 00:10:44,513
That's this.
270
00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:47,255
-Let's liven this place up.
-Not too lively.
271
00:10:47,298 --> 00:10:51,259
It's very important to just
blend in and go with the flow.
272
00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:52,695
Or we could do shots.
273
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:55,089
Shots, shots, shots,
shots, shots,
274
00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:57,482
shots, shots, shots,
shots, shots, shots,
275
00:10:57,526 --> 00:10:58,919
shots, shots, shots, shots.
276
00:10:58,962 --> 00:11:00,703
[man gasping]
277
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:01,878
LASZLO:
For God's sake.
278
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,968
Oh, who wants a shot? [snarls]
279
00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:06,491
We could do shots.
280
00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:07,884
[Baron moaning]
281
00:11:07,928 --> 00:11:10,844
Just a minute.
282
00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:13,716
-[all laughing]
-And I said,
283
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,893
"No, how do you like
yourstakes?"
284
00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:19,983
And pushed itright through his stupid heart.
285
00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:22,072
[Nadja shrieks with laughter]
286
00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:24,118
You know I'm not really a baron.
287
00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:25,728
NANDOR [slurring]:
Yes, you are.
288
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:27,730
You're the Baron.
289
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:30,951
No, I am not. It was a nickname.
290
00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:32,735
To tease me.
291
00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:35,607
Barren, B-A-R-R-E-N.
292
00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:36,739
Huh.
293
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,828
Because I cannot sire offspring
294
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:41,875
due to my lack of genitals.
295
00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:44,181
-Hello-- whoop!
-There it isn't.
296
00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:45,748
NADJA:
I like it.
297
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:48,969
All I ever wanted
was a child of my own.
298
00:11:51,058 --> 00:11:53,408
Well, I don't know, Baron.
299
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,367
Maybe we could be your children.
300
00:11:56,411 --> 00:11:58,543
-NADJA: Yes.
-Yes.
301
00:11:58,587 --> 00:11:59,980
-Yes.
-Also, maybe
302
00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:02,199
you want to pull
your pants back up now or...?
303
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:04,375
Hmm? Oh, of course.
304
00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:06,595
NADJA:
Aw...
305
00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:10,904
[group laughing]
306
00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:12,993
NADJA:
The Baron,
307
00:12:13,036 --> 00:12:14,995
he told us very sad story.
308
00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:17,911
We might not kill him now--
309
00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,913
no, not going to kill him.
310
00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:23,394
BARON:
It's just hard.
311
00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:27,007
I used to derive such pleasure
from killing,
312
00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:28,922
but now... it's just a thing
313
00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:32,795
I do because... why?
314
00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,797
Because I've always
done it, I guess?
315
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:38,235
And these dark rages
that overtake me,
316
00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:40,672
oh, my mind is devouring itself.
317
00:12:40,716 --> 00:12:42,022
Aw...
318
00:12:42,065 --> 00:12:43,458
We're all going through shit.
319
00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:45,199
It's hard doing what we do.
320
00:12:45,242 --> 00:12:47,157
BARON:
You know...
321
00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:49,159
this is going
to sound odd, but...
322
00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:51,031
I was thinking of killing
all of you tonight.
323
00:12:51,074 --> 00:12:52,162
NADJA:
Ah.
324
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:53,990
-Yeah, yeah, I was.
-Ah.
325
00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:55,818
BARON:
What have I become?
326
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:57,951
[Nadja and Laszlo
chuckle weakly]
327
00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:02,912
Guess what.
328
00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:04,479
[Nandor giggles]
329
00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:08,396
We were going to kill you
tonight, too.
330
00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:10,180
[snickers]
331
00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:14,054
[trio laughing]
332
00:13:14,097 --> 00:13:15,707
NANDOR:
We were going to kill you!
333
00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:18,667
[laughing]:
It was, it was Laszlo's idea.
334
00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:21,191
-Yeah, it was.
-[trio laughing]
335
00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:22,627
He had the stake,
336
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:24,064
-the...
-[laughter stops]
337
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:25,979
...stake...
338
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:29,460
I beg your pardon?
339
00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:30,897
NANDOR:
Uh...
340
00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:32,507
LASZLO:
He was just joking, it was,
341
00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:34,857
it was just an idea
that we were kicking upstream.
342
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,946
NANDOR:
Was more of a "what if"
situation.
343
00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:40,645
-Like, "What if?" and then "No."-Shut up.
344
00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:42,299
-[groans]
-[Nadja giggles nervously]
345
00:13:42,343 --> 00:13:45,520
You... "kicked upstream"
346
00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:48,653
the idea of killing...
347
00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:50,090
me?
348
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:52,657
As a joke. Nothing more.
349
00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,094
NADJA:
Just a-- a laugh.
350
00:13:54,137 --> 00:13:55,138
NANDOR:
Nothing happened.
351
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:05,061
[laughs]
352
00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:06,671
LASZLO:
Oh...
353
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:08,325
-Your faces!
-Oh, the Baron...
354
00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:09,761
-Oh...
-You shithead.
355
00:14:09,805 --> 00:14:11,676
BARON:
Oh, I am proud of you.
356
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,678
If I were you, I would have
done the same thing.
357
00:14:13,722 --> 00:14:15,028
[all laughing, chattering]
358
00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,333
BARON:
Where is next?
359
00:14:16,377 --> 00:14:18,248
You know what I have
always wanted to try?
360
00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:19,946
-Coprophilia.
-No.
361
00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:21,556
Pizza pie.
362
00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:24,080
Is it as wonderful
as they sa...?
363
00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,908
Coprophilia?
364
00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:27,692
Sire, this is an even worse idea
365
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:29,564
than when we tried
to invade Vienna.
366
00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:31,087
It's certainly going
to make you very ill.
367
00:14:31,131 --> 00:14:33,176
I'm having pizza pie.
368
00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:35,744
Oh, no, no, no.
369
00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,789
[trio groaning in disgust]
370
00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:39,313
Mmm.
371
00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:40,705
[chuckles]
372
00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:42,316
Mmm.
373
00:14:42,359 --> 00:14:43,926
The garlic burnt a little,
but...
374
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:44,971
[retches]
375
00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:48,104
[group gasping, groaning]
376
00:14:49,366 --> 00:14:51,064
Down he goes.
377
00:14:51,107 --> 00:14:52,761
-[retching]
-NANDOR: He's up again.
378
00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:53,762
NADJA:
The Baron has eaten
379
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:55,938
some human food and now his body
380
00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:58,593
is being propelled around
by his own vomit.
381
00:14:58,636 --> 00:15:00,073
-LASZLO: Is he all right?-NANDOR: Now, where's he going?
382
00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:01,770
NADJA:
So, that's what's happening
383
00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:03,119
right now.
384
00:15:04,773 --> 00:15:06,340
[trio gasping]
385
00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:08,385
-LASZLO: There he is.
-NADJA: Ooh.
386
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:14,000
♪
387
00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:19,962
Uh...
388
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:21,529
[Laszlo and Nandor gasp]
389
00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:23,357
Totally worth it.
390
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:24,749
What is next?
391
00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:26,795
[techno music playing]
392
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:39,808
-[techno music playing]
-[Baron hisses]
393
00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:41,810
[gasps]
394
00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:45,596
[growls]
395
00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:51,994
♪ I♪
396
00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:55,215
♪ I'm alive♪
397
00:15:55,258 --> 00:16:00,220
♪ I'm alive.♪
398
00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:02,135
We drank the blood
of some people,
399
00:16:02,178 --> 00:16:04,354
but the people were on drugs
400
00:16:04,398 --> 00:16:06,791
and now I am a wizard.
401
00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:11,013
The Baron is, is very,
actually... great man...
402
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:12,406
I drank the drug blood.
403
00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,234
Yes, I drank some drug blood.
404
00:16:14,277 --> 00:16:16,236
We drank-- we've done
some drug blood.
405
00:16:16,279 --> 00:16:18,803
BARON:
♪ It is the time♪
406
00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:20,805
♪ Of the season♪
407
00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:24,244
♪ When the love runs high♪
408
00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:25,636
♪ It is the time...♪
409
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:29,162
That's the Baron I remember.
410
00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:31,860
Having a really great time,
411
00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:33,905
but it's almost sunup.
412
00:16:33,949 --> 00:16:36,691
I think we should leave soon,otherwise we're gonna be fried.
413
00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:41,609
♪
It's the time of the season♪
414
00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:46,266
♪ For loving♪
415
00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:47,832
♪ Ah.♪
416
00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:49,834
Laszlo, can you see if they have
417
00:16:49,878 --> 00:16:52,185
"Girl in the Village
with the One Small Foot"
418
00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:54,056
by Vasilios the Balladeer?
419
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,840
-Yep.
-Never mind.
420
00:16:55,884 --> 00:16:57,146
I'll sing a cappella.
421
00:16:57,190 --> 00:16:58,713
-[clears throat]
-LASZLO: Okay.
422
00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:01,672
♪ There was a girl
in the village♪
423
00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:04,849
♪ She had one very small foot♪
424
00:17:04,893 --> 00:17:07,069
♪ Did she lose her foot
in the well?♪
425
00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:08,636
-It is time
to return to our den.
-♪ No one knows♪
426
00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:11,856
-♪ No one knows...♪
-Party's over.
427
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:13,336
[distorted]:
I said we are leaving!
428
00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:14,642
[feedback]
429
00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:16,296
-NANDOR: We should go.
-LASZLO: Yeah, yeah.
430
00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:17,514
-[keys jangling]
-NADJA: The sun is coming.
431
00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:19,342
NANDOR:
The door's stuck again.
432
00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:21,431
Everyone, quickly,
the sun is coming.
433
00:17:21,475 --> 00:17:22,737
[cheering, laughter]
434
00:17:22,780 --> 00:17:25,305
-♪ Par-tay!♪
-Come on.
435
00:17:25,348 --> 00:17:27,307
Just one foot at a time, Baron.
436
00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:29,222
COLIN:
Someone sure had
a good time, huh?
437
00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:32,094
NADJA:
Colin Robinson, we missed you.
438
00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:33,139
-BARON: Hi.
-What?
439
00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:34,662
What-What's wrong with you?
440
00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:36,098
We are on drugs.
441
00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:38,535
[Baron pants]
442
00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:40,320
Have you partaken
of the pizza pie?
443
00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:43,671
[group laughing]
444
00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:45,673
NANDOR:
I can do this, I can do this.
445
00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:48,197
NADJA [laughing]:
Oh, no, the sunlight.
446
00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:49,894
-[laughs]
-Laszlo!
447
00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:51,331
Careful.
448
00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:52,462
Be careful.
449
00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:53,898
-Oh...
-Oh, man.
450
00:17:53,942 --> 00:17:55,248
BARON:
Look at this... wait.
451
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:58,120
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
452
00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,513
No, the sunlight.
453
00:17:59,556 --> 00:18:01,254
I'm so scared.
454
00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:02,690
No, no, no, Baron.
455
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:04,518
-Baron...
-No, no, no, no!
456
00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:07,260
No, no, no, no, go easy.
It's dangerous, man.
457
00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:09,131
He's being an idiot.
Come on, Baron.
458
00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:11,264
You're a bunch of pussies...
[yelps]
459
00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:12,743
[groans, laughs]
460
00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:13,918
NADJA [laughing]:
See what you've done.
461
00:18:13,962 --> 00:18:15,224
-Did you see that?
-You hurt yourself.
462
00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:17,313
-Come on, Baron.
-Put your night skirts on
463
00:18:17,357 --> 00:18:18,706
-and go to coffin.
-BARON: All right, okay,
464
00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:20,360
-okay, okay.
-Go to coffin, Baron.
465
00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:23,363
Thing off, I don't know
how to work this. [laughs]
466
00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:24,494
-[Nadja laughs, gasps]
-Oh-- ah!
467
00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:25,495
LASZLO:
Oh, shit.
468
00:18:25,539 --> 00:18:27,758
[Baron gasping]
469
00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:30,196
[grunting]
470
00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:32,372
LASZLO:
Baron?
471
00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:34,983
Well, that was unexpected.
[laughs]
472
00:18:35,026 --> 00:18:36,811
Uh, oh-- oh...
473
00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:40,293
oh... aw...
474
00:18:40,336 --> 00:18:42,338
Hello.
Oh.
475
00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:44,384
[exclaims]
476
00:18:44,427 --> 00:18:46,386
-NADJA: Shit.
-LASZLO: Shit.
477
00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:47,952
-Is he dead?
-Oh, no.
478
00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:50,390
[hisses]
Ouchie.
479
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:52,174
Just a little sore.
480
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,176
Oh, God-- Oh. Oh...
481
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:56,309
lucky I missed
these wooden stakes.
482
00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:57,832
[all laugh]
483
00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:59,573
He's safe.
484
00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:01,749
I am okay.
485
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:04,317
[yelps]
486
00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:10,192
What's that smell?
487
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:11,802
Hey, I got the rose...
488
00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:16,111
[whispers]:
Fuck.
489
00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:18,244
[gasps]
490
00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:21,551
Oh...
491
00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:23,031
-Wow.
-[groans]
492
00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:25,033
Oh, shit.
493
00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:26,991
♪ Let's go sunning♪
494
00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:28,428
♪ It's so good for you♪
495
00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:30,343
♪ Let's go sunning♪
496
00:19:30,386 --> 00:19:32,432
♪ 'Neath the sky of blue♪
497
00:19:32,475 --> 00:19:35,261
♪ Greet the sun every morn♪
498
00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:38,264
♪ Feel as free and happy
as the day you were born♪
499
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,657
♪ Let's go native♪
500
00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:43,573
♪ Sun your cares away,
be creative♪
501
00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:45,575
♪ Learn to live and play♪
502
00:19:45,619 --> 00:19:48,361
♪ Pretty flowers need the sun♪
503
00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:51,886
♪ This applies to everyone♪
504
00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:55,019
♪ Happiness to everyone♪
505
00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:59,067
♪ So let's go sunning.♪
506
00:20:07,075 --> 00:20:09,120
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
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