All language subtitles for Splash.1984.DVDRip.XviD.iNT-NewMov

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional) Download
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi Download
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese Download
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean Download
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian Download
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal) Download
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian Download
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai Download
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,041 --> 00:00:00,041 23.976 2 00:00:05,922 --> 00:00:08,591 [ Seagulls Cty, Ocean Waves Crash ] 3 00:00:21,938 --> 00:00:25,358 Uno, dos, one, two, tres, cuatro. 4 00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:28,194 [''Wooly Bully''] 5 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:33,742 Hey, wooly bully 6 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,869 Watch it now, watch it 7 00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:37,787 Here it comes Here it comes 8 00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:44,210 Watch it now He gets you 9 00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:54,012 Matty told Hatty 10 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:57,640 About a thing she saw 11 00:00:57,766 --> 00:01:00,769 It had two big horns 12 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,729 And a woolyjaw 13 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,940 Wooly bully 14 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:09,486 Wooly bully That's right 15 00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:12,697 Wooly bully, wooly bully 16 00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:15,241 Wooly bully 17 00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:19,496 Hatty told Matty 18 00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:23,458 Let's don't take no chance 19 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:26,503 Let's not be L seven 20 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,463 Come and learn to dance 21 00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:31,508 Wooly bully 22 00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:35,011 Wooly bully 23 00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:39,474 Wooly bully, wooly bully Wooly bully 24 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,268 Watch it now Watch it, watch it 25 00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:46,231 Hey 26 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:51,820 Hey, that's right 27 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:55,699 Right, right, right 28 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:04,499 [ Ferry Whistle ] 29 00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:17,554 Hey, wooly bully Watch it now 30 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,306 Here it comes Here it comes 31 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,851 [ Indistinct Chatter] 32 00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:36,614 Matty told Hatty 33 00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:38,825 About a thing she saw... 34 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:42,454 - Freddie! - I dropped something. 35 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:45,040 Ralph, talk to him. 36 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,459 Listen to your father. 37 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:50,545 - From there we can see Cape Cod. - We were just there! 38 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:53,381 We could have stayed and saved $ 1 2.00. 39 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:58,094 Allen, don't you want to see Cape Cod? 40 00:02:58,261 --> 00:03:01,639 You know where we are if you change your mind. 41 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,451 - Allen! - [ Alarm Bell, Whistle ] 42 00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,541 Oh, my God.! 43 00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:53,316 [ Bell Ringing ] 44 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,153 Thanks a lot. Thanks. 45 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,740 You okay, Allen? Lend me a towel. 46 00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:03,159 Why did you do that? 47 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,383 Come on, son. 48 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,817 [ Ferry Whistle ] 49 00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:42,198 [ Woman Over P.A. System ] Augie, pick up line four, please. 50 00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,291 - Where are my cherries? - Mr. McCulloch, 51 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:54,169 they came in, but there was a fog-- 52 00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:57,047 If I don't get my cherries in 5 minutes, 53 00:04:57,255 --> 00:05:00,258 you don't get your money and you starve and you die. 54 00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:02,761 Jerry? 55 00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:07,140 - Where are McCulloch's cherries? - They're here, 56 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,392 but you gotta take a look. 57 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:12,187 Ah, Mr. McCulloch, be right back. 58 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:15,106 Where are my cherries? 59 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,819 Augie, did you grow these under your arms? 60 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,405 Jesus, snails with stems. Get them outta here! 61 00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:24,741 - George, get them out of here. - You got it. 62 00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:29,412 Bauer. Thank you. Honey, what's up? 63 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:33,083 We get a lot of rain and cherries get slime. 64 00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:35,877 -I can't hear ya. -You agreed to take these off our hands. 65 00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:39,673 - When the hell did I agree to that? - Not you, your brother. 66 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,675 Ah, all right. 67 00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,677 Victoria, I can't hear you. 68 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:46,137 What I'm doing is important too. 69 00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:48,098 My brother bought your slimy cherries? 70 00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:50,475 Yeah. We were playing poker. 71 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,477 He had two pair. I had a flush. 72 00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:55,730 He had no cash, so we worked this out. 73 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:59,442 [ Tires Screech ] 74 00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:02,821 [ Car Radio ] 75 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:06,950 Who put this goddamn fruit here? 76 00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:09,369 I'm all right, if anyone's concerned. 77 00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:11,955 Good morning, Freddie. 78 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,623 Allen! Allen! 79 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,750 A simple ''yes'' or ''no.'' 80 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,461 I made it. I'm in Penthouse magazine. 81 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,797 They printed my letter! 82 00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:23,216 Listen, I'm very happy. 83 00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,176 I'm in the Forum section. 84 00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:27,637 The story's entitled, ''A Lesbian No More.'' 85 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,098 They printed every word. It's a beautiful story. 86 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,517 I want copies for everybody. 87 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,644 Augie, good to see you! 88 00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:36,604 Great game. We gotta do that more. 89 00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:38,815 - Can we talk? - Great poker player. 90 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:41,985 - Cheats like a son of a bitch! - We have to talk. 91 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:45,780 - Missing petty cash? It was the cleaning girl. - I don't care. 92 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:48,033 You don't? I admit the whole thing. 93 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:50,285 I still don't care about it. 94 00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:52,954 I love this guy! Do you hear me? 95 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:54,956 - Gimme a kiss. - Oh, Freddie. 96 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,167 Too big to kiss your older brother? 97 00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,673 I love this guy's head. 98 00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:06,217 Here's a buck. Wash my car. 99 00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:09,262 Bauer! Where are my-- 100 00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:11,389 Your cherries, yes. 101 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:14,851 Believe me, you won't be satisfied with what we have. 102 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:18,188 You're ruined! Everyone's gonna know you left me dry. 103 00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,315 You're finished, a ghost. 104 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,234 - How'd you like bananas at cost? - Deal! 105 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:26,071 Set up our friend with bananas at cost. 106 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:29,282 Allen, wait. I've got to get out early. 107 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:32,077 Gee, right. Today's the big day. 108 00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:34,496 Ushers have to be early too. 109 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,456 - I'll be there. - Okay. 110 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:42,337 [ Woman On P.A.] Will someone get thoseJonathans off the truck? 111 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:46,508 Any messages, Mrs. Stimler? 112 00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:48,968 Yes. 113 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,515 What are they? 114 00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:57,686 Huh? Oh, 115 00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:01,022 your father wants you to call him back. 116 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:05,485 Mrs. Stimler, our father passed away five years ago. 117 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:08,697 - Remember? - Right. 118 00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,866 Should I get him for you? 119 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:16,037 No, no. We'll-- I'll take care of it. 120 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:18,665 You just get back to work. 121 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:29,050 - What's with her? - A little accident over the weekend. 122 00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:31,845 Got hit in the head by some lightning. 123 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:35,724 It's not funny, Freddie! 124 00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:38,727 I'm sorry. That's not funny. 125 00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:41,896 Besides, she can still do certain things. 126 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,399 Like jump-start a car? 127 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,444 [ Laughing ] Jump-start a car.! 128 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,904 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 129 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:53,450 -What the hell are you doing down here? -Maybe I went... 130 00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:56,786 - to the ''Club A'' last night. -Something new for you. 131 00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:59,581 Maybe I met Mr. Buyrite, owner of Buyrite Markets. 132 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,334 Maybe we had a few drinks. 133 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:05,754 And maybe,just maybe... 134 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,881 we're his new produce suppliers. 135 00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:11,593 I'm proud of you. That's great.! Which store? 136 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:15,305 Not which store, the whole chain. 137 00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:18,683 I hope you are joking with me. 138 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,143 Think big, be big. 139 00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,479 He was a colonel. I made up a stoty... 140 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:24,981 about you being wounded in Nam and he wants to do business. 141 00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,108 He's coming this morning. 142 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:30,653 Great, Freddie. It's only chaos down here. 143 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:33,615 - Augie brings me slimy cherries. -So what? 144 00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:37,369 -Jerty's getting married tomorrow. - So what? 145 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,662 I was drinking with this bum all night. 146 00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:42,916 - I'm busting my buns. - East 77 th Street. 147 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:46,586 - Come on, you can handle this deal. - Yeah, I'll handle it. 148 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:50,340 - Your desk looks like a pigsty. - I have a system. 149 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,759 -[ Buzzer ] - Phone for you. 150 00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:56,638 Yes? All right. Thank you. 151 00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:58,890 Hi, Victoria. I'm sorry. 152 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,809 I forgot to call you back. 153 00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:03,561 What's the matter? Your voice sounds funny. 154 00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:06,147 What? Now? 155 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:09,567 You're moving out of the apartment now? 156 00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:12,487 While we're talking? 157 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:16,074 Yeah, I know we were going to talk about it. 158 00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:19,828 Victoria, this is a little impulsive. 159 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:22,831 If we were married you wouldn't move out like this. 160 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,250 - She might. Sure. - Get off. 161 00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,377 - Was that you? - Get off the phone! 162 00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:30,213 - I'm so sorry! - Not you. 163 00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:32,882 Why not tell a guy you're on the phone? 164 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:34,551 [ Door Closes ] 165 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:37,345 What do you mean, ''Do I love you?'' 166 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,224 Well, I-- 167 00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:45,186 Well, we met and-- 168 00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:49,816 You moved in, didn't you? 169 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:55,697 Well, it's-- it's just a very complicated thing. 170 00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:58,533 Hey, do you love me? 171 00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:01,703 Well, there you go. 172 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,375 There she went. 173 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,756 [ Woman's Voice ] What a huge wedding. 174 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,799 [ Church Bells ] 175 00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:20,555 Cindy, hi. 176 00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:24,976 - How are you? - How are you? 177 00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:27,145 Excuse me. 178 00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:29,439 You look so pretty.! 179 00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:35,987 Darn! My flash never works! 180 00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,865 Figures. My mother-in-law gave it to me. 181 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:43,953 - [ Allen ] Get up.! - What? What? 182 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:47,499 It was embarrassing when you were 1 0. 183 00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:50,210 If something works for me, I stick with it! 184 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:51,878 I've been thinking. 185 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:54,589 I intend to get more involved with business. 186 00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:57,842 I mean that this time. I know the business. 187 00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:01,054 I was there at the beginning with Dad. 188 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:05,308 Do we sell fruit and vegetables or just fruit? 189 00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:09,270 By the time I came home, she was already gone. 190 00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:11,731 - Victoria left, huh? - Yeah. 191 00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:14,442 You know why she left me? 192 00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:17,862 - Because I didn't love her. - That bitch. 193 00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:22,117 Hi. Anywhere but the first three rows. 194 00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:25,453 - Anywhere but the first three rows. - Hey! 195 00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:28,289 Hi, Freddie. Allen, where's Victoria? 196 00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:31,751 She's sick, and she can't make it. 197 00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:34,462 - I'm sorry. - Hey! 198 00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:39,801 Can you answer me why I didn't love her, Freddie? 199 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,761 She had everything. 200 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,514 She was bright, sensitive, beautiful. 201 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,933 - Hey, Allen.! - Hi. 202 00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:52,147 - Where's Victoria? - She can't make it because of the flu. 203 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,733 - Give her my love. - You bet! Sure. 204 00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:58,403 I can't even give her my love! 205 00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:02,032 Something in here is not working. 206 00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,659 There are worse organs not to be working. Ha! 207 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:08,038 Hi, guys. Bauer, where's your pretty lady? 208 00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:09,998 She's not coming! Okay? 209 00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:12,500 Do you want your money back? 210 00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:17,881 Well, I don't know. Maybe it's for the best. 211 00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:21,051 - Hey, Allen. - She left me! My life's a shambles. 212 00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:23,345 That's the news. Want the weather? 213 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,889 Anywhere but the first three rows! 214 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:31,227 Lighten up on the guy. That's the bride's brother. 215 00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:34,022 Drinking is a matter of algebraic ratios. 216 00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:39,903 How drunk you get depends on how much alcohol you consume... 217 00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:43,156 in relation to your total body weight. 218 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:45,325 It's not that you had too much to drink, 219 00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,911 it's that you're too skinny! 220 00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:50,205 - Marceau, more drinks here. - No. 221 00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:54,042 - Freddie, I don't want to get drunk. - But you are. 222 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,670 A sober person would have reached for the pretzels. 223 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,422 - Is he going to be there long? - I don't know. 224 00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:03,218 - Oh, I'm on the bar. - You're on the bar. 225 00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:05,345 Come on, off the bar. 226 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:08,223 This stool is in your way. Let me move it. 227 00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,266 Oh, oh, you fell. 228 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:15,230 That hurt. You're not having a good day. 229 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:18,191 - Wasn't that a beautiful wedding? - That was. 230 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:21,778 It was. It really was. 231 00:14:21,903 --> 00:14:24,948 - The most gorgeous ceremony-- - A lovely... 232 00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:26,908 [ Growls ] 233 00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:29,411 - How ya doing? - Fine. 234 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,538 The fabulous Freddie Bauer here. 235 00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:34,916 - Where did you get those? - My grandmother. 236 00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:37,627 - She left them to me. - She did? 237 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:40,213 - They're beautiful. - Thank you. 238 00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,923 Hi. 239 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:44,175 - Hi. - Hi. 240 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,594 You guys are in love, aren't you? 241 00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:48,763 We just met. 242 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:52,183 That doesn't matter. I know about these things. 243 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,436 I can see. I can tell. 244 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:56,646 You two guys, you're in love. 245 00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:59,065 I think that's beautiful. 246 00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:01,735 Thanks. 247 00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:07,115 I don't live too far. 248 00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:10,577 Let's go to my place for a quiet drink. 249 00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:14,456 Do I expect too much out of life? 250 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:17,500 My dress! I can't believe this. 251 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,545 - I'm sorry. - Hey, what are you doing? 252 00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:23,506 Both of you. You're both crazy! 253 00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:25,508 I'm sorry. Look-- 254 00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,927 I don't ask that much, do I? 255 00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:29,888 I don't ask to be famous, rich, 256 00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:33,683 or play center field for the Yankees. 257 00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:36,811 I just want to meet a woman... 258 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:39,481 and fall in love, and get married. 259 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,691 And I want to have a kid, 260 00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:44,444 and I want to see him play a tooth in the school play. 261 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,488 It's not much. 262 00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:49,741 But I'm kidding myself. 263 00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:52,160 It's never going to happen. 264 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,662 I'm going to grow old... 265 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:57,999 and grow lonely, and I'm gonna die; 266 00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:02,045 and I'll be surrounded by a bunch of rotten fruit. 267 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:06,049 - Freddie? - No kidding! 268 00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:07,801 Freddie? 269 00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:12,138 Allen! I want you to meet some friends of mine. 270 00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:14,724 This is Tawny, and this is Jill. 271 00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:16,685 - I'm Tawny. - You're Tawny Tiger! 272 00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:19,354 And this is Jill, a four-letter word. 273 00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:21,356 - My brother, Allen. - Hi. 274 00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:24,359 - Freddie, can I talk to you? - Absolutely. 275 00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,361 Excuse me. 276 00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:28,822 I'll be right back. We'll whisper some more. 277 00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:31,241 I've got some whispering for you! 278 00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:33,201 Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. 279 00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:36,204 Pack your bags. We're going to Rio! 280 00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:38,623 They have a timesharing condominium. 281 00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:41,543 We're gonna share some time with them. 282 00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,753 No, I'm going to Cape Cod. 283 00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,839 What are you talking about? 284 00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:47,799 Why would you go to Cape Cod? 285 00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,510 Because I like Cape Cod. 286 00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:52,470 I feel better up there. 287 00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:55,306 I look at the water and feel closer to something. 288 00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:58,727 - Cape Cod over Rio? Are you all right? - Yeah. 289 00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:02,188 - Let me drive you up there. - No, no. 290 00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:04,149 - You got enough money? - I've got plenty. 291 00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:06,651 - Yeah? - Thanks. 292 00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:08,611 Can I have some then? 293 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,243 [ Tapping ] 294 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:21,458 - Where to? - Cape Cod, Massachusetts. 295 00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,793 [ Tires Screech ] 296 00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:26,254 You break that, you pay for it. 297 00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:29,257 Well, I'm sorry. I usually enjoy... 298 00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:31,593 smashing the glass with my face. 299 00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:35,597 That's about 300 miles. You got the cash? 300 00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:38,350 What is this? 301 00:17:44,773 --> 00:17:47,317 [ Crickets Chirp, Frogs Croak ] 302 00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:01,456 [ Walter ] Careful with that. 303 00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,375 Be careful with that! 304 00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:06,002 What do you think you're loading? 305 00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:09,422 This is delicate scientific equipment. 306 00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:14,594 Hold it. Put it down. You see that? It says, ''This end up.'' 307 00:18:14,678 --> 00:18:17,013 Know what that means? This end up! 308 00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:20,433 Why don't you try holding that end up? 309 00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:23,311 All right, get away! 310 00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:27,148 I'll do it myself. Get away. Give me a hand. 311 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:34,072 Easy. 312 00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:36,991 - Move that-- - Excuse me. 313 00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:41,037 - Morning. - Morning. 314 00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:43,039 Ah, 315 00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:45,834 I was dropped off on the wrong side of the beach. 316 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,461 Could you take me over to the island? 317 00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,215 Well, ah, we're not-- 318 00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:54,175 We're not going-- 319 00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:57,512 We're taking the boat. We're not going out there! 320 00:18:57,595 --> 00:19:01,057 Have you seen anyone else along this beach? 321 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:03,852 No,just me and the moron twins. 322 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:06,604 We're not twins. 323 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:12,277 - What is all this stuff? - I knew it! 324 00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:15,572 Who sent you up here? Dr. Ross from Chicago? 325 00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:17,782 Who's Dr. Ross from Chicago? 326 00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:20,910 Who's Dr. Ross? You're very good. 327 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:23,204 I suppose you're some harmless beachcomber... 328 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:26,374 who happens to wear a tuxedo! 329 00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:29,127 How dare you try and horn in on someone else's research! 330 00:19:29,252 --> 00:19:31,087 I'm just a guy-- 331 00:19:31,254 --> 00:19:33,548 Walter Kornbluth is not to be taken advantage of. 332 00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:37,844 Just stay out of my way, sonny. 333 00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:41,556 All right, let's move out! 334 00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:51,566 A guy down the beach runs people out to the island. 335 00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:53,860 What's the name? 336 00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:55,779 The guy or the island? 337 00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:59,282 I'll find him. 338 00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:01,242 [ Boat Motor] 339 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:05,580 What's the matter? You look nervous. 340 00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:08,333 Yeah. The truth is, FatJack, 341 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:11,086 I don't know how to swim. 342 00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:13,129 - You can't swim? - No, sir. 343 00:20:13,296 --> 00:20:16,341 Then you wouldn't want me to do this. 344 00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:19,135 Stop! Ah, don't! 345 00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:22,722 Please, cut it out! There's water coming in the boat! 346 00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:25,058 I'm just having a little fun. 347 00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:28,728 - Well, don't. - [ Motor Sputters ] 348 00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:31,606 What is that? What's the matter? 349 00:20:31,773 --> 00:20:35,193 When I rocked the boat, I must have got water in the engine. 350 00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:38,029 I can fix it. I'm mechanical. 351 00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:41,241 [ Hammering ] 352 00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:46,621 Did you fix it? 353 00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:49,791 No. I'll go back for the other boat. 354 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,751 What? 355 00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:56,548 Where are you going, Mr. FatJack? 356 00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:59,551 Back to the dock. It's only a few miles. 357 00:20:59,718 --> 00:21:02,971 I can swim it. I'll be back with the little boat. 358 00:21:03,054 --> 00:21:06,349 The little boat? 359 00:21:18,028 --> 00:21:22,490 I knew it. I knew that guy was spying on me. 360 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,951 I want to go down! 361 00:21:27,662 --> 00:21:29,789 Mr. Cornbeef? 362 00:21:29,873 --> 00:21:32,167 Kornbluth! 363 00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:34,544 Whatcha looking for down there? 364 00:21:34,669 --> 00:21:36,838 Buried treasure? 365 00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:38,965 Want to know what I'm looking for? 366 00:21:39,049 --> 00:21:40,884 I'll tell ya. 367 00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:44,971 None of your goddamn business, that's what! 368 00:21:45,096 --> 00:21:47,265 Get out of my way! 369 00:21:53,063 --> 00:21:55,565 Let's pee down his air hose. 370 00:21:55,690 --> 00:21:57,859 [ Laughter] You get that. 371 00:22:15,794 --> 00:22:18,088 Piece of shit. 372 00:22:21,966 --> 00:22:25,595 - [ Scream ] - [ Boat Motor ] 373 00:22:25,762 --> 00:22:28,098 [ Gasping ] 374 00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:30,642 [ Boat Motor ] 375 00:22:30,767 --> 00:22:32,811 Ahh! 376 00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:42,195 [ Gasping ] 377 00:22:44,614 --> 00:22:47,325 Ah, gee. 378 00:22:47,492 --> 00:22:48,827 [ Bang ] 379 00:23:17,230 --> 00:23:19,524 Ohhh! 380 00:23:22,485 --> 00:23:24,571 Ohh. 381 00:23:26,197 --> 00:23:28,283 [ Spitting ] 382 00:23:30,827 --> 00:23:33,705 Ouch! 383 00:23:33,872 --> 00:23:36,332 Ouch. 384 00:23:36,499 --> 00:23:38,793 [ Moans ] 385 00:23:56,394 --> 00:23:58,229 Hello. 386 00:23:58,396 --> 00:24:02,192 You have any idea how I got here? 387 00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:04,027 Did you save me? 388 00:24:09,532 --> 00:24:11,576 Ah, 389 00:24:11,701 --> 00:24:13,953 do you speak English? 390 00:24:52,409 --> 00:24:54,536 Hey! Come back! 391 00:24:54,619 --> 00:24:56,871 Hey, come back! Please? 392 00:24:56,996 --> 00:24:59,207 Just tell me who you are. 393 00:24:59,207 --> 00:25:02,752 I've gotta talk to you. Can I call you? What's your number? 394 00:25:03,253 --> 00:25:05,714 I don't know how to swim. 395 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:09,175 I don't know how to swim! Come back. 396 00:25:09,259 --> 00:25:11,886 Why didn't I learn how to swim? 397 00:25:12,012 --> 00:25:14,305 Please,just-- 398 00:26:14,532 --> 00:26:16,117 [ Gasp ] 399 00:26:16,159 --> 00:26:18,745 It's a mermaid. It's her! 400 00:26:19,037 --> 00:26:21,373 [ Shouts ] Wait a minute. 401 00:26:21,373 --> 00:26:24,376 Wait a minute.! Don't go. 402 00:26:25,627 --> 00:26:27,587 Come back. 403 00:26:27,712 --> 00:26:30,006 I gotta take your picture. 404 00:26:31,091 --> 00:26:32,592 Hold it. 405 00:28:03,433 --> 00:28:05,226 [ Honking ] 406 00:28:05,435 --> 00:28:07,937 [ Chattering ] 407 00:28:15,987 --> 00:28:17,822 Hi, Mrs. Stimler. 408 00:28:17,989 --> 00:28:21,034 Hi. What happened to your head? 409 00:28:21,117 --> 00:28:24,746 - Lightning? - No, a boat hit me. 410 00:28:26,206 --> 00:28:29,000 - Mrs. Stimler? - Yes? 411 00:28:29,167 --> 00:28:32,754 - Nothing. - So nice to have you back. 412 00:28:34,964 --> 00:28:37,217 Welcome to the Statue of Liberty. 413 00:28:37,300 --> 00:28:39,594 The statue is a gift from French citizens... 414 00:28:39,761 --> 00:28:43,473 and symbolizes hope for oppressed people. 415 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:47,268 Over the past centuty, she has seen the skyline, 416 00:28:47,435 --> 00:28:51,856 which once she dwarfed, rise in mountains of stone and steel. 417 00:28:51,981 --> 00:28:55,860 If you'll go inside, the tour will continue. 418 00:28:56,027 --> 00:28:58,279 Come on. Here we go. 419 00:28:58,405 --> 00:29:00,865 Let's go. We're backing up. 420 00:29:00,990 --> 00:29:03,576 You've got feet, use them.! 421 00:29:03,702 --> 00:29:08,498 Don't touch my hat. Do not ever touch my hat. That's it. 422 00:29:08,665 --> 00:29:11,501 Up-up-up-up-up-up. Okay. 423 00:29:11,668 --> 00:29:13,795 Welcome to the Statue of Liberty. 424 00:29:13,878 --> 00:29:16,923 The statue is a gift from French citizens. 425 00:29:17,007 --> 00:29:20,301 It has come to symbolize hope for naked women everywhere. 426 00:29:20,427 --> 00:29:22,262 Bocci balls! 427 00:29:22,429 --> 00:29:24,723 - [ Screams ] - Hey, hey. 428 00:29:24,848 --> 00:29:27,100 Come on. Don't be doing that. 429 00:29:27,183 --> 00:29:30,395 Take a picture of me, Vinnie. 430 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:32,814 Vinnie, take my picture. 431 00:29:32,897 --> 00:29:36,443 You get it? You get it! 432 00:29:36,568 --> 00:29:40,655 The statue was a gift from French people. 433 00:29:40,822 --> 00:29:42,991 Get out of the way. What's going on? 434 00:29:43,116 --> 00:29:48,580 Okay, miss. This ain't California. We don't go for this. 435 00:29:48,705 --> 00:29:51,958 [ Booing ] 436 00:29:58,006 --> 00:30:00,675 [ Boat Whistle ] 437 00:30:06,264 --> 00:30:09,309 - What's your name? - She don't speak no English. 438 00:30:09,392 --> 00:30:12,479 - And you do? - Here. She was carrying this. 439 00:30:12,562 --> 00:30:14,397 What's this? 440 00:30:16,733 --> 00:30:18,943 Who's this guy? 441 00:30:20,945 --> 00:30:23,365 Is that enough? Do you want some more? 442 00:30:23,490 --> 00:30:26,284 That's all we can handle. Let's talk terms. 443 00:30:26,451 --> 00:30:28,703 - He doesn't have a clue. - Don't worry. 444 00:30:28,787 --> 00:30:30,622 We'll move it out in the morning. 445 00:30:30,789 --> 00:30:33,208 Bauer. Your brother told me about... 446 00:30:33,333 --> 00:30:35,168 your unfortunate experience in Vietnam. 447 00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:38,546 Huh? 448 00:30:38,755 --> 00:30:41,758 The incident in Vietnam. Remember? 449 00:30:43,259 --> 00:30:47,138 The grenade still bother you? You're wearing a bandage. 450 00:30:47,305 --> 00:30:49,557 Page him. Hey, Al? 451 00:30:49,641 --> 00:30:51,476 - Yeah? - Phone. 452 00:30:51,643 --> 00:30:53,520 Um, excuse me. 453 00:30:55,438 --> 00:30:57,732 Thanks,Jerry. Yeah? 454 00:30:57,899 --> 00:31:00,360 Allen Bauer. Speaking. 455 00:31:06,491 --> 00:31:08,368 Yeah. On my way! 456 00:31:08,535 --> 00:31:10,370 I believe this-- 457 00:31:11,913 --> 00:31:14,374 Allen, where are you going? 458 00:31:14,499 --> 00:31:15,959 Allen! 459 00:31:18,003 --> 00:31:20,755 - What happened? - Telephone. 460 00:31:20,964 --> 00:31:24,050 He was on the phone in Nam when the grenade went off. 461 00:31:24,134 --> 00:31:27,053 Ever since then, he runs, 462 00:31:27,220 --> 00:31:29,389 gets in a car, and drives away. 463 00:31:29,472 --> 00:31:32,017 - Oh. - I don't know why. 464 00:31:32,142 --> 00:31:34,060 - It just happens. - Oh. 465 00:31:34,227 --> 00:31:36,062 Let's review this. 466 00:31:36,271 --> 00:31:39,024 [ Siren ] 467 00:31:57,751 --> 00:31:59,586 Pardon me. Excuse me! 468 00:31:59,753 --> 00:32:02,380 - [ Bell Rings ] - Mr. Police Officer? 469 00:32:02,547 --> 00:32:04,966 Hey! Take it easy. 470 00:32:05,091 --> 00:32:06,968 What do you want? 471 00:32:07,135 --> 00:32:09,471 My name's Allen Bauer. You guys called me. 472 00:32:09,637 --> 00:32:12,849 Any of you guys call for an Allen Bauer? 473 00:32:12,974 --> 00:32:16,561 Bauer. Yeah. That's for her. 474 00:32:16,728 --> 00:32:18,563 Right over there. 475 00:32:40,627 --> 00:32:42,462 Hi. 476 00:32:50,303 --> 00:32:52,305 I take it you know this girl? 477 00:32:53,723 --> 00:32:55,558 Yeah, I do. 478 00:32:55,725 --> 00:32:57,560 Who is she? 479 00:32:59,729 --> 00:33:01,523 I don't know. 480 00:33:01,731 --> 00:33:03,983 Of course. 481 00:33:16,705 --> 00:33:19,374 Afternoon. You're home early. 482 00:33:19,541 --> 00:33:21,584 Yeah. 483 00:33:27,632 --> 00:33:29,467 Uh, 484 00:33:29,634 --> 00:33:31,886 that doorway spins. 485 00:33:32,012 --> 00:33:34,723 Want to get this fixed, Timmy? 486 00:33:40,687 --> 00:33:43,148 - Hi. - Hello. 487 00:34:29,361 --> 00:34:31,946 [ Allen Sings ] 488 00:34:32,155 --> 00:34:34,824 Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-ay 489 00:34:34,991 --> 00:34:38,286 Mr. Bluebird's on my shoulder 490 00:34:38,370 --> 00:34:41,873 It's the truth, it's actual Everything is satisfactual 491 00:34:41,998 --> 00:34:44,918 Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-ay 492 00:34:45,001 --> 00:34:47,003 My, oh, my What a wonderful day 493 00:34:47,212 --> 00:34:50,006 Room service. I didn't know what you liked, 494 00:34:50,173 --> 00:34:53,885 so I got you a choice. Fruity Pebbles, pancakes-- 495 00:34:54,052 --> 00:34:56,179 No. No. No-no-no-no-no-no-no. 496 00:34:56,304 --> 00:34:59,933 I've got to get back to work. That will keep you company. 497 00:35:00,100 --> 00:35:04,229 When I come back from work, we'll get some dinner, 498 00:35:04,354 --> 00:35:06,648 and pick you up some clothes. 499 00:35:06,815 --> 00:35:09,442 Not that you don't look spectacular in my robe. 500 00:35:09,609 --> 00:35:12,404 Okay? Bye-bye. 501 00:35:15,198 --> 00:35:17,575 No. Please. 502 00:35:17,701 --> 00:35:19,661 You're gonna put me in the hospital. 503 00:35:19,661 --> 00:35:22,455 It's about 3:00. I really have to get back. 504 00:35:22,956 --> 00:35:25,083 You are wonderful. 505 00:35:25,208 --> 00:35:27,627 Bye-bye. Bye. 506 00:35:29,129 --> 00:35:32,507 [ TV] 507 00:35:32,632 --> 00:35:36,344 Things don't get started again until 4:00. 508 00:35:42,142 --> 00:35:44,644 Let's not be so choosy with these onions. 509 00:35:44,811 --> 00:35:47,814 Some of these are perfectly good onions. 510 00:35:47,939 --> 00:35:50,525 [ Allen ] Evetybody, zip-a-dee-doo-dah.! 511 00:35:50,734 --> 00:35:54,195 Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-ay 512 00:35:54,362 --> 00:35:57,866 My, oh, my What a wonderful day 513 00:35:58,033 --> 00:36:00,869 Plenty of sunshine heading my way 514 00:36:01,036 --> 00:36:03,830 Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-ay 515 00:36:03,997 --> 00:36:07,542 Mr. Mango on my shoulder 516 00:36:07,667 --> 00:36:11,212 - Freddie, dance with me! - Please, not in front of the teamsters. 517 00:36:11,379 --> 00:36:14,382 - Come on, they're happy guys. - You're a rotten lead. 518 00:36:14,507 --> 00:36:16,718 I've got the Buyrite contracts ready. 519 00:36:16,843 --> 00:36:18,553 - Want to check them? - No. 520 00:36:18,553 --> 00:36:20,347 You check them. You know the business. 521 00:36:20,930 --> 00:36:22,766 - So I'm in charge? - Sure. 522 00:36:22,932 --> 00:36:24,726 What about the lawyer's meeting at 8:00? 523 00:36:24,893 --> 00:36:28,229 8 p.m.? That's too late for me. 524 00:36:28,355 --> 00:36:31,733 I'm going upstairs and take a nap. 525 00:36:31,858 --> 00:36:34,110 Wake me when it's time to go home. 526 00:36:34,277 --> 00:36:37,572 Zip-a-dee-- Jerry, handle those for me! 527 00:36:39,908 --> 00:36:42,035 [ TVAnnouncer] Anne Klein. 528 00:36:42,118 --> 00:36:44,704 Bloomingdale's. 529 00:36:47,290 --> 00:36:50,085 Anne Klein. 530 00:36:50,293 --> 00:36:52,462 Bloomingdale's. 531 00:36:56,299 --> 00:36:59,302 The Anne Klein Collection, available at... 532 00:36:59,427 --> 00:37:01,763 Bloomingdale's. 533 00:37:12,982 --> 00:37:15,276 Can I help you? 534 00:37:16,695 --> 00:37:18,321 Can't you talk? 535 00:37:20,532 --> 00:37:24,077 - Bloomingdale's? - Sure. Hey! 536 00:38:21,551 --> 00:38:24,012 Oh, my God. 537 00:38:24,137 --> 00:38:26,890 Darling. Darling. 538 00:38:27,057 --> 00:38:30,977 Darling! That outfit, it's to die from. 539 00:38:31,144 --> 00:38:33,855 What happened? You saw Annie Hall 1 00 times? 540 00:38:34,022 --> 00:38:36,566 That look is over. 541 00:38:36,733 --> 00:38:38,610 You want to try that on? 542 00:38:38,777 --> 00:38:41,112 Who knows? Maybe it's you. 543 00:38:41,237 --> 00:38:43,365 I couldn't get one leg in there. 544 00:38:43,490 --> 00:38:47,786 My daughter is lucky. She's anorexic. 545 00:38:50,163 --> 00:38:53,750 Please call again. Don't forget these. 546 00:38:55,418 --> 00:38:58,713 Do yourself a favor and stop in the lingerie department. 547 00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:02,842 A pretty girl like you shouldn't wear boxer shorts. 548 00:39:09,891 --> 00:39:11,768 [ Boy ] Let me try! 549 00:39:11,935 --> 00:39:14,646 [ TVAnnouncer] Colgate Winter Fresh Gel-- 550 00:39:14,813 --> 00:39:19,109 And now, we continue with Capitol. 551 00:39:19,234 --> 00:39:23,196 Wear the adjustable-angle mascara by Revlon. 552 00:39:26,241 --> 00:39:28,952 Maximum fluoride protection in a great-tasting gel. 553 00:39:29,119 --> 00:39:31,788 It's Crazy Eddie's greatest clearance sale ever! 554 00:39:31,955 --> 00:39:33,957 Crazy Eddie's slashing prices... 555 00:39:33,957 --> 00:39:36,209 on stereo equipment, video equipment, 556 00:39:36,459 --> 00:39:38,753 color TV's, car stereos, CB's, phones, 557 00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,006 disco equipment and professional products, 558 00:39:41,131 --> 00:39:44,551 plus a selection offloor samples and demonstrators... 559 00:39:44,676 --> 00:39:46,302 priced at or below cost. 560 00:39:46,469 --> 00:39:48,304 It's Crazy Eddie's greatest sale ever, 561 00:39:48,471 --> 00:39:51,266 going on right now with prices that are insane.! 562 00:39:51,474 --> 00:39:53,935 Crazy Eddie,1 2 great locations. Manhattan, 563 00:39:54,060 --> 00:39:55,895 the Bronx, Brooklyn, Syosset, Paramus, 564 00:39:56,062 --> 00:39:58,690 East Brunswick, Union, Westchester, Westbuty and Norwalk. 565 00:39:58,857 --> 00:40:02,360 [ Humming ] 566 00:40:02,485 --> 00:40:06,573 Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Hello? 567 00:40:07,907 --> 00:40:10,618 I'm home.! 568 00:40:21,004 --> 00:40:22,839 [ Ding ] 569 00:40:27,802 --> 00:40:29,888 - I'm looking for a girl, Timmy. - 200 bucks. 570 00:40:30,013 --> 00:40:32,474 No, the blonde I came in with. 571 00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,310 - Oh, she left. - Any idea where? 572 00:40:35,518 --> 00:40:38,313 - I put her in a cab. - To where, Timmy? 573 00:40:38,521 --> 00:40:41,191 - Bloomingdale's. - Bloomingdale's. Great. Thanks. 574 00:40:41,358 --> 00:40:44,652 Yo! Hey, taxi! Hey! 575 00:40:44,778 --> 00:40:46,613 Halt, taxi, please! 576 00:40:46,780 --> 00:40:49,074 She works hard for the money 577 00:40:49,199 --> 00:40:52,494 Come on, come on. Let's go! 578 00:40:52,660 --> 00:40:56,456 She works hard for the money so you better treat her right 579 00:40:56,623 --> 00:40:59,918 Excuse me, miss, we're getting ready to close. 580 00:41:00,043 --> 00:41:02,879 She's been here for six hours. 581 00:41:04,589 --> 00:41:06,925 Excuse me, miss. 582 00:41:07,050 --> 00:41:09,511 I'm going to insist that-- 583 00:41:09,678 --> 00:41:13,139 that you stop doing that. 584 00:41:16,226 --> 00:41:18,937 She's exercising. 585 00:41:20,814 --> 00:41:23,566 Give her... a minute. 586 00:41:23,733 --> 00:41:25,777 Sir, we're closing. 587 00:41:25,902 --> 00:41:28,363 I know. Just give me three minutes. 588 00:41:28,488 --> 00:41:30,740 - Come back. - Three minutes. You can time me! 589 00:41:33,284 --> 00:41:35,912 Oh, thank God. 590 00:41:36,079 --> 00:41:38,206 Excuse me. Do you know this woman? 591 00:41:38,289 --> 00:41:40,959 Yeah.Just don't ask me her name. 592 00:41:41,126 --> 00:41:43,420 We've been trying to tell her it's closing time, 593 00:41:43,586 --> 00:41:45,839 but she doesn't seem to understand. 594 00:41:45,922 --> 00:41:48,717 That's because she doesn't speak English. 595 00:41:48,883 --> 00:41:52,721 Hello, Allen. How was your day? 596 00:41:53,930 --> 00:41:55,849 I never went to college, 597 00:41:56,016 --> 00:41:58,268 but wasn't that English? 598 00:41:58,393 --> 00:42:00,228 Thank you for letting me use your television. 599 00:42:00,395 --> 00:42:03,398 It was very educational. 600 00:42:04,899 --> 00:42:06,735 It's all right, miss. 601 00:42:09,696 --> 00:42:11,573 What's your name? 602 00:42:11,740 --> 00:42:14,367 It's hard to say in English. 603 00:42:14,367 --> 00:42:17,370 Well,just say it in your language. 604 00:42:17,746 --> 00:42:20,123 All right. My name is... 605 00:42:20,290 --> 00:42:22,375 [ Screech ] 606 00:42:34,637 --> 00:42:37,807 Hey, how 'bout those Knicks? 607 00:42:37,932 --> 00:42:42,020 I'm confused why you haven't said anything until now. 608 00:42:42,145 --> 00:42:45,357 - I didn't know English. - I see. Now you do? 609 00:42:45,482 --> 00:42:48,026 I learned from television. It's wonderful! 610 00:42:48,151 --> 00:42:50,779 I'll ask questions and if you answer correctly, 611 00:42:50,945 --> 00:42:53,281 you can win one of these prizes. 612 00:42:53,406 --> 00:42:55,992 A wall clock, matching washer and dryer, 613 00:42:56,159 --> 00:42:58,203 or a brand-new car! 614 00:42:58,328 --> 00:43:00,288 Let me go first, okay? 615 00:43:00,413 --> 00:43:02,248 Who are you? Where are you from? 616 00:43:02,415 --> 00:43:04,250 Begin when you were born... 617 00:43:04,417 --> 00:43:06,753 and finish when you blew up the TV's. 618 00:43:14,135 --> 00:43:16,596 Pretty. 619 00:43:16,763 --> 00:43:20,975 Well, yeah. I've never thought about it before. 620 00:43:22,018 --> 00:43:23,895 Are you from Cape Cod? 621 00:43:26,022 --> 00:43:29,150 No, I'm from another place. 622 00:43:29,275 --> 00:43:33,863 Yeah? I've got a cousin from there. Ha-ha-ha. 623 00:43:36,282 --> 00:43:38,076 Are you an American? 624 00:43:38,535 --> 00:43:40,412 No. 625 00:43:40,578 --> 00:43:44,290 Then why were you in Cape Cod and now New York? 626 00:43:44,457 --> 00:43:48,294 - How did the cops find you naked? - What's that? 627 00:43:48,461 --> 00:43:50,463 What? The music? 628 00:43:50,547 --> 00:43:53,133 I like music! I heard some in the television, 629 00:43:53,258 --> 00:43:55,385 Dance Fever. 630 00:43:55,510 --> 00:43:59,139 Hey, I love you, girl 631 00:43:59,305 --> 00:44:02,642 - Darling - Ah, hi, hi. 632 00:44:02,767 --> 00:44:05,270 We better go, hon, or else we'll be late. 633 00:44:05,395 --> 00:44:08,523 - You never heard music? - What's that? 634 00:44:08,606 --> 00:44:11,192 - Ah-- - [ Car Horn ] 635 00:44:11,401 --> 00:44:13,194 - [ Crash ] - Oh, gosh! 636 00:44:13,403 --> 00:44:15,196 - What's that? - It's a movie theater. 637 00:44:15,405 --> 00:44:17,699 What the hell you doin'? You coulda got me killed! 638 00:44:17,782 --> 00:44:20,160 Cut her some slack. She's from out of town. 639 00:44:20,285 --> 00:44:23,371 - Keep her on a leash. - Yeah, yeah. Have a nice day. 640 00:44:23,496 --> 00:44:25,331 Hello? 641 00:44:28,418 --> 00:44:30,295 Did you see this? 642 00:44:30,462 --> 00:44:34,591 It's wonderfully delicious and so good for you. 643 00:44:34,716 --> 00:44:38,136 While you're here, watch a little less TV. 644 00:44:40,096 --> 00:44:43,725 How long are you going to be in town? 645 00:44:44,893 --> 00:44:47,479 Six fun-filled days. 646 00:44:47,604 --> 00:44:49,481 Oh, six days. 647 00:44:49,647 --> 00:44:51,483 Is that all? 648 00:44:53,193 --> 00:44:55,403 Six days, 649 00:44:55,528 --> 00:44:58,031 and the moon is full. 650 00:44:58,198 --> 00:45:00,492 Oh. 651 00:45:02,243 --> 00:45:04,537 The moon is full. 652 00:45:09,626 --> 00:45:13,755 If I stay longer than that, I can't ever go back. 653 00:45:13,880 --> 00:45:15,715 Oh, I get-- What? 654 00:45:15,882 --> 00:45:19,094 Is there some sort of immigration problem? 655 00:45:19,219 --> 00:45:21,054 Where did you get that? 656 00:45:21,221 --> 00:45:23,682 Where? Oh, for-- 657 00:45:26,017 --> 00:45:29,604 Sir? Here you are, sir. There you go. 658 00:45:29,729 --> 00:45:33,191 I'm going to have to call you something in English, 659 00:45:33,316 --> 00:45:36,152 because I can't pronounce-- What? 660 00:45:36,319 --> 00:45:38,279 What are English names? 661 00:45:38,279 --> 00:45:40,490 There's millions of them, I guess. 662 00:45:40,824 --> 00:45:42,784 Jennifer,Joanie, Hillary. 663 00:45:42,784 --> 00:45:44,994 Careful. Those are hot. 664 00:45:45,286 --> 00:45:47,622 Names, names. Linda, Kim-- 665 00:45:47,789 --> 00:45:49,749 [ Allen ] Where are we? Madison. 666 00:45:49,874 --> 00:45:52,502 - Elizabeth, Samantha-- - I like Madison. 667 00:45:52,669 --> 00:45:55,005 Madison's not a name. 668 00:45:56,589 --> 00:45:59,634 Well, all right. Madison it is. 669 00:45:59,759 --> 00:46:02,470 Good thing we weren't at 1 49th Street. 670 00:46:02,637 --> 00:46:05,306 Are we going back to where you live? 671 00:46:05,473 --> 00:46:08,309 Okay, um-- Here's the thing. 672 00:46:08,476 --> 00:46:11,062 I was going to find you a hotel, 673 00:46:11,229 --> 00:46:15,483 but I figure that after this afternoon-- 674 00:46:15,608 --> 00:46:19,237 Well, I just assumed that-- 675 00:46:21,197 --> 00:46:24,617 Would you mind staying with me? 676 00:46:25,910 --> 00:46:28,204 I want to stay with you. 677 00:46:28,329 --> 00:46:31,166 You're the reason I came here. 678 00:46:40,717 --> 00:46:43,303 Ah, that was a kiss. 679 00:46:43,428 --> 00:46:45,263 I know. 680 00:48:56,853 --> 00:48:58,688 Madison? 681 00:49:07,614 --> 00:49:10,283 - Madison? - Allen? 682 00:49:10,450 --> 00:49:13,078 Yeah, of course, it's Allen. 683 00:49:13,244 --> 00:49:15,080 What are you doing, sweetheart? 684 00:49:15,246 --> 00:49:17,540 Taking a bath. 685 00:49:17,665 --> 00:49:20,835 Ooo, ooo. Can I come in? 686 00:49:21,878 --> 00:49:24,464 - No! - [ Clunk ] 687 00:49:24,631 --> 00:49:26,758 What was that? 688 00:49:26,883 --> 00:49:28,677 Madison, are you all right? 689 00:49:28,885 --> 00:49:31,763 - Everything's fine. - Then let me in. 690 00:49:31,930 --> 00:49:34,641 I'll be right there. I'm just changing. 691 00:49:34,808 --> 00:49:37,519 Enough! Open the door. Something is wrong. 692 00:49:37,727 --> 00:49:39,979 Allen, can you make me some pancakes? 693 00:49:40,063 --> 00:49:41,898 Make you some-- Madison.! 694 00:49:41,898 --> 00:49:44,359 All right, Madison, this is getting scary. 695 00:49:44,818 --> 00:49:46,861 Either open this door, or I'll break it down! 696 00:49:46,986 --> 00:49:49,698 - No, Allen, please. -All right, that's it.! 697 00:49:49,906 --> 00:49:53,034 - Allen, no! - Ow. 698 00:50:03,712 --> 00:50:05,547 Hi. 699 00:50:05,714 --> 00:50:09,300 Hi. Are you okay? 700 00:50:09,467 --> 00:50:11,302 Yeah. 701 00:50:11,469 --> 00:50:14,556 Why wouldn't you let me in? 702 00:50:14,681 --> 00:50:18,518 I was... shy. 703 00:50:19,644 --> 00:50:21,479 You were shy? 704 00:50:21,646 --> 00:50:24,566 After the car, elevator, bedroom, 705 00:50:24,733 --> 00:50:28,486 and top of the refrigerator, you were shy? 706 00:50:29,612 --> 00:50:31,614 I was shy. 707 00:50:32,741 --> 00:50:34,576 She was shy. 708 00:50:43,752 --> 00:50:46,463 [ Garbled Shouts ] 709 00:50:59,517 --> 00:51:02,228 [ Gasping ] 710 00:51:05,065 --> 00:51:07,192 Hey, B.B. brain! 711 00:51:07,317 --> 00:51:11,446 - Yeah? - See this hose? 712 00:51:11,571 --> 00:51:14,949 - It's so I can breathe. - Uh-huh. 713 00:51:15,116 --> 00:51:17,786 You want to get your chair off it? 714 00:51:17,952 --> 00:51:20,288 Huh? 715 00:51:26,961 --> 00:51:28,630 [ Laughing ] 716 00:51:28,838 --> 00:51:30,965 The Star Confidential? 717 00:51:32,008 --> 00:51:33,343 Yeah. 718 00:51:33,510 --> 00:51:36,638 - Why are you reading that? - I don't know. 719 00:51:36,721 --> 00:51:41,142 What possesses the uneducated to purchase these? 720 00:51:41,309 --> 00:51:45,021 - Interesting. - You're not helping yourself. 721 00:51:45,188 --> 00:51:48,316 You're not-- This is not news. 722 00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:51,236 Give me this. You know what's in here? 723 00:51:51,403 --> 00:51:54,781 Nothing. You have sex, perversion. 724 00:51:54,906 --> 00:51:57,575 It's all fabrication. Look at this. 725 00:51:57,742 --> 00:52:00,745 A naked woman at the Statue of Liberty. 726 00:52:02,914 --> 00:52:05,375 Where would they find a girl to do that? 727 00:52:05,542 --> 00:52:07,335 [ Laughing ] 728 00:52:09,713 --> 00:52:12,340 - Ow, my head! - Let me see that. 729 00:52:20,640 --> 00:52:23,226 Take me back to shore. Now! 730 00:52:27,772 --> 00:52:29,899 Hello. 731 00:52:33,695 --> 00:52:36,239 Madison, what is it? 732 00:52:36,406 --> 00:52:38,366 What happened? 733 00:52:38,491 --> 00:52:40,368 [ Horse Whinnying On TVProgram ] 734 00:52:40,577 --> 00:52:43,163 It's the saddest thing I ever saw. 735 00:52:43,329 --> 00:52:45,165 [ TV, Indistinct ] 736 00:52:45,331 --> 00:52:47,834 It's Bonanza. 737 00:52:47,959 --> 00:52:51,212 The man killed another man and he died in the street. 738 00:52:51,338 --> 00:52:55,925 No, no. This is only TV. 739 00:52:56,092 --> 00:52:59,554 I thought you understood about TV being make-believe. 740 00:52:59,721 --> 00:53:03,016 It's pretend killing that's going on. 741 00:53:03,141 --> 00:53:05,226 This guy is an actor. 742 00:53:05,352 --> 00:53:07,562 Next week, he'll get shot on another show. 743 00:53:07,645 --> 00:53:09,481 It's kinda funny. 744 00:53:11,858 --> 00:53:14,235 I'm supposed to laugh? 745 00:53:14,402 --> 00:53:16,571 Yeah. 746 00:53:16,654 --> 00:53:18,573 There you go. 747 00:53:18,740 --> 00:53:21,076 Yeah. 748 00:53:21,201 --> 00:53:23,328 I got you something. 749 00:53:26,956 --> 00:53:28,875 [ Sigh ] 750 00:53:38,551 --> 00:53:41,596 It's beautiful. I love it. 751 00:53:43,807 --> 00:53:46,142 No, you open it. 752 00:53:46,309 --> 00:53:48,186 There's more? 753 00:53:58,238 --> 00:54:01,783 [ Waltz ] 754 00:55:05,013 --> 00:55:06,848 Do you like that? 755 00:55:07,015 --> 00:55:09,309 Yeah, I do. 756 00:55:10,393 --> 00:55:13,146 I don't know why.Just... 757 00:55:13,313 --> 00:55:15,148 something about it. 758 00:55:15,315 --> 00:55:18,401 It's always appealed to me. 759 00:55:19,444 --> 00:55:21,529 Do you like the sea? 760 00:55:21,654 --> 00:55:24,532 No. When I was about eight, 761 00:55:24,699 --> 00:55:27,035 I had this accident on a ship. 762 00:55:27,202 --> 00:55:29,287 I remember. 763 00:55:29,412 --> 00:55:31,206 What? 764 00:55:31,373 --> 00:55:33,667 Ah, I can't. 765 00:55:33,792 --> 00:55:35,627 I forget the words. 766 00:55:35,794 --> 00:55:38,922 What's-- ''I understand.'' 767 00:55:39,047 --> 00:55:41,633 [ Chuckles ] 768 00:55:41,758 --> 00:55:43,927 Did you get hurt? 769 00:55:45,345 --> 00:55:48,473 No, no, I didn't, 770 00:55:48,598 --> 00:55:53,395 but when I was underwater, I could have sworn I saw-- 771 00:55:53,561 --> 00:55:57,565 - What? - Nothing. 772 00:55:57,691 --> 00:55:59,526 - What? - Nothing! 773 00:55:59,693 --> 00:56:02,404 I was just a stupid kid. 774 00:56:05,907 --> 00:56:09,285 - They're going to tear this park out. - Why? 775 00:56:09,452 --> 00:56:13,081 They're gonna build condos or some such nonsense. 776 00:56:13,248 --> 00:56:15,583 What are you gonna do, huh? 777 00:56:19,754 --> 00:56:21,923 You want to go home? 778 00:56:22,048 --> 00:56:23,925 No, I have five days left! 779 00:56:24,092 --> 00:56:27,804 No-no-no. My home! 780 00:56:27,971 --> 00:56:31,433 Oh. Yes. 781 00:56:41,484 --> 00:56:43,987 [ Allen ] Why do we want to go to a political dinner? 782 00:56:43,987 --> 00:56:47,073 - The president will be speaking. - President of what? 783 00:56:47,449 --> 00:56:49,784 President of the Three Stooges Fan Club. 784 00:56:49,909 --> 00:56:52,287 - The president of the United States! - Wow. 785 00:56:52,412 --> 00:56:54,289 We'll be rubbing elbows with the big boys. 786 00:56:54,497 --> 00:56:57,125 - You think big, you be big. - I guess so. 787 00:56:57,292 --> 00:56:59,127 Listen, 788 00:56:59,294 --> 00:57:02,422 would you mind if I took Madison... 789 00:57:02,589 --> 00:57:05,091 instead of going with you? 790 00:57:06,885 --> 00:57:09,137 What? 791 00:57:09,304 --> 00:57:11,639 - What? - What? 792 00:57:11,806 --> 00:57:14,267 Something in here not working? 793 00:57:14,434 --> 00:57:17,979 ''Oh, I'll never fall in love, Freddie. 794 00:57:18,188 --> 00:57:20,815 I can't. It won't work with me.'' 795 00:57:21,024 --> 00:57:23,693 Who said anything about me being in love? 796 00:57:23,735 --> 00:57:26,029 You haven't been to work in two days. 797 00:57:26,321 --> 00:57:28,156 - So? - Admit it. 798 00:57:28,323 --> 00:57:29,824 - No. - Admit it! 799 00:57:30,033 --> 00:57:31,659 Eye gouge! 800 00:57:31,868 --> 00:57:33,703 [ Screams ] 801 00:57:33,912 --> 00:57:36,247 Ahhh. Ahhh! 802 00:57:36,373 --> 00:57:39,751 - Admit it. Bone crusher! - No. 803 00:57:44,506 --> 00:57:46,633 Son of a bi-- 804 00:57:55,725 --> 00:57:57,060 Ow. 805 00:57:59,979 --> 00:58:01,856 How long we been playing? 806 00:58:02,065 --> 00:58:05,110 -About five minutes. - Oh, God. 807 00:58:05,235 --> 00:58:08,321 My heart's beating like a rabbit. 808 00:58:08,446 --> 00:58:10,240 You, uh, want a beer? 809 00:58:10,448 --> 00:58:12,575 No, thanks. 810 00:58:26,381 --> 00:58:29,092 So, tell me this. 811 00:58:29,300 --> 00:58:31,636 If you're not in love with her, 812 00:58:31,761 --> 00:58:34,848 how come little things she does, drive you crazy? 813 00:58:34,931 --> 00:58:36,725 Little things? 814 00:58:36,933 --> 00:58:41,062 Freddie, the woman learned English in a single afternoon. 815 00:58:43,148 --> 00:58:45,692 She could probably speak English already. 816 00:58:45,859 --> 00:58:47,861 I think she was in shock from being arrested. 817 00:58:47,986 --> 00:58:50,155 What about that, huh? 818 00:58:50,280 --> 00:58:52,866 What about a woman showing up naked in a public place? 819 00:58:53,074 --> 00:58:54,617 I'm for it. 820 00:58:54,784 --> 00:58:56,578 You said... 821 00:58:56,786 --> 00:59:00,290 that she had some kind of immigration problem. 822 00:59:00,457 --> 00:59:04,252 She's on an ocean liner in international waters. 823 00:59:04,419 --> 00:59:08,256 She sees America. It looks good. 824 00:59:08,423 --> 00:59:11,926 So, she greases her body like a channel swimmer. 825 00:59:12,135 --> 00:59:16,389 She dives in. She has heavy trouble with sharks, 826 00:59:16,514 --> 00:59:20,643 she goes through the Coast Guard, minefields and then she's on shore. 827 00:59:20,810 --> 00:59:22,604 She's okay. That's it. 828 00:59:24,856 --> 00:59:26,900 What about the bathtub? 829 00:59:27,025 --> 00:59:30,028 This moon stuff, and all those TV's? 830 00:59:30,153 --> 00:59:32,322 Look, I'm being serious. 831 00:59:32,447 --> 00:59:37,160 I admit to a few minor fiascos in my love life. 832 00:59:37,369 --> 00:59:41,998 Freddie, you took a date to one of your own weddings! 833 00:59:42,165 --> 00:59:44,459 I'm a free spirit! 834 00:59:44,584 --> 00:59:47,796 I'm extremely liberal, a freewheeling dude. 835 00:59:47,962 --> 00:59:52,676 You're in love with this girl. You're ttying to convince yourself you're not. 836 00:59:54,469 --> 00:59:56,596 I just don't know, Freddie. 837 00:59:56,721 --> 00:59:58,848 Something about it isn't right. 838 00:59:59,015 --> 01:00:00,809 I'll serve. 839 01:00:01,017 --> 01:00:03,353 Hold the beer. That will be your handicap. 840 01:00:03,478 --> 01:00:05,980 - Oh, we're gonna play? - Yeah. 841 01:00:06,189 --> 01:00:09,359 - I'm gonna teach you a lesson in humility. - Wait. 842 01:00:09,484 --> 01:00:11,486 Humility 1 01 . 843 01:00:11,611 --> 01:00:13,405 - You all set? - Yeah. 844 01:00:13,613 --> 01:00:15,740 Here we go. 845 01:00:15,865 --> 01:00:17,409 Oh! 846 01:00:24,207 --> 01:00:26,668 This is what we came to hear? 847 01:00:29,921 --> 01:00:35,343 You call and tell us you have stretched the frontiers of paleontology... 848 01:00:35,510 --> 01:00:37,595 and zoology. 849 01:00:37,679 --> 01:00:40,974 We interrupt important, serious work... 850 01:00:41,099 --> 01:00:43,184 to fly here at a moment's notice, 851 01:00:43,351 --> 01:00:45,729 and you give us mermaids.! 852 01:00:45,729 --> 01:00:48,481 Don't call us. Call the comic book companies. 853 01:00:48,898 --> 01:00:52,694 Enough. We have a seminar in three weeks. Be ready. 854 01:00:54,863 --> 01:00:56,698 [ Whistling ] 855 01:00:58,158 --> 01:01:00,827 Allen, you're here! I got you a present. 856 01:01:01,036 --> 01:01:04,497 - Don't look. Close your eyes. - I gotta close the door. 857 01:01:04,706 --> 01:01:06,833 What are you doing? 858 01:01:06,958 --> 01:01:09,252 All right. 859 01:01:10,420 --> 01:01:13,173 Okay. Look. 860 01:01:19,262 --> 01:01:22,807 Ha-ha! Wha-- You, ah-- 861 01:01:22,974 --> 01:01:25,852 Well, that's big! 862 01:01:26,978 --> 01:01:29,981 Yeah, this is-- 863 01:01:30,106 --> 01:01:32,567 This is very... big, 864 01:01:32,734 --> 01:01:35,070 and it's... really here. 865 01:01:35,236 --> 01:01:37,072 It's just so big.! 866 01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:39,741 They were gonna tear it down, so I bought it for you. 867 01:01:39,908 --> 01:01:42,619 Where did you get the money to pay for it? 868 01:01:44,579 --> 01:01:47,749 Madison, where's your necklace? 869 01:01:47,916 --> 01:01:51,419 - I traded it for the statue. - Why? 870 01:01:53,129 --> 01:01:55,298 Because I love you. 871 01:01:57,050 --> 01:01:59,260 Oh, Madison. 872 01:02:03,640 --> 01:02:05,725 Madison, I love... 873 01:02:05,850 --> 01:02:08,019 this, ah, present. 874 01:02:08,144 --> 01:02:10,271 I love it. 875 01:02:13,191 --> 01:02:15,276 And I love you. 876 01:02:20,782 --> 01:02:22,575 [ Dr. Zidell ] What's happened to you? 877 01:02:22,784 --> 01:02:25,954 You were the brightest student in my class. 878 01:02:26,079 --> 01:02:29,290 True, emotionally, you were 1 2 years old. 879 01:02:29,457 --> 01:02:32,919 - I was 1 2 years old. - That's right. 880 01:02:33,128 --> 01:02:35,255 Look what you've become; 881 01:02:35,380 --> 01:02:37,549 a schmuck. 882 01:02:37,674 --> 01:02:41,344 There is a mermaid in New York City. 883 01:02:41,553 --> 01:02:45,348 You mean this, this naked girl? 884 01:02:45,557 --> 01:02:47,559 How come she's got legs? 885 01:02:47,642 --> 01:02:51,813 She has legs out of water and fins in the water. 886 01:02:51,980 --> 01:02:55,567 You taught me that, Dr. Zidell. Remember? 887 01:02:55,734 --> 01:02:58,486 You taught me all the legends. 888 01:02:58,695 --> 01:03:01,781 You used to show me charts on your office walls... 889 01:03:01,865 --> 01:03:05,493 where sailors had claimed they saw mermaids. 890 01:03:05,660 --> 01:03:08,496 Walter, that was for fun, for relaxation, 891 01:03:08,663 --> 01:03:11,875 not for you to build your whole life on. 892 01:03:13,168 --> 01:03:16,838 I'm gonna prove to you and everyone else that... 893 01:03:17,005 --> 01:03:20,008 that girl is a mermaid! 894 01:03:20,133 --> 01:03:22,427 How? You gonna get her wet... 895 01:03:22,552 --> 01:03:24,721 so evetybody sees she has fins? 896 01:03:24,846 --> 01:03:27,057 [ Chuckles ] 897 01:03:31,853 --> 01:03:35,357 [ Indistinct ] 898 01:03:43,031 --> 01:03:45,158 [ Honking ] 899 01:03:51,581 --> 01:03:54,042 [ Honking ] 900 01:03:59,881 --> 01:04:01,675 [ Man ] Taxi? 901 01:04:04,969 --> 01:04:06,096 Oh! 902 01:04:06,221 --> 01:04:08,515 - Watch it.! - Hey, watch it, buddy. 903 01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:11,184 [ Walter] Excuse me. 904 01:04:14,437 --> 01:04:16,606 Look out. 905 01:04:19,609 --> 01:04:21,653 What does he think he's doing? 906 01:04:22,696 --> 01:04:25,073 Hey.! Hey.! 907 01:04:25,240 --> 01:04:29,285 [ Crying ] 908 01:04:37,502 --> 01:04:40,588 [ Walter ] Oh, my-- 909 01:04:49,472 --> 01:04:52,267 [ Piano ] 910 01:05:08,408 --> 01:05:09,993 - [ Grunt ] - [ Gasp ] 911 01:05:10,368 --> 01:05:11,953 Oops. 912 01:05:13,663 --> 01:05:15,123 Nice earrings. 913 01:05:17,375 --> 01:05:21,046 - Is something the matter? - No, nothing at all. 914 01:05:21,212 --> 01:05:25,592 I was thinking. You don't have to leave the country. 915 01:05:26,801 --> 01:05:30,597 - I do. - You don't. There's stuff we can do... 916 01:05:30,805 --> 01:05:33,641 to get around the immigration laws. 917 01:05:33,808 --> 01:05:37,562 I could give you a job down at the market. 918 01:05:37,771 --> 01:05:40,315 You could get a work visa. 919 01:05:40,482 --> 01:05:44,110 Or, uh, you could, uh, 920 01:05:44,277 --> 01:05:47,614 marry, like, an American, 921 01:05:47,739 --> 01:05:49,866 and they have to let you stay. 922 01:05:49,991 --> 01:05:51,826 Our food is here! 923 01:05:52,994 --> 01:05:57,791 Oh. Well, we'll talk about it later. 924 01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:02,671 Do be careful, madam. The plate is very hot. 925 01:06:02,837 --> 01:06:04,631 Thank you. These look terrific. 926 01:06:26,027 --> 01:06:28,863 She's really hungry! 927 01:06:31,032 --> 01:06:34,202 [''Skater's Waltz''] 928 01:06:53,888 --> 01:06:55,724 You were very good. 929 01:06:55,890 --> 01:06:58,768 Come on. Oops. Come on. 930 01:07:00,395 --> 01:07:04,107 Let's sit down and talk. 931 01:07:04,315 --> 01:07:06,151 Ah. 932 01:07:07,902 --> 01:07:10,071 Your nose is cold. 933 01:07:10,196 --> 01:07:11,990 I don't want to talk about my nose. 934 01:07:12,198 --> 01:07:14,534 Your ears are all red! 935 01:07:14,659 --> 01:07:18,413 I don't want to talk about any part of my face. 936 01:07:18,580 --> 01:07:23,793 But I do want to talk about what happened in the restaurant. 937 01:07:24,961 --> 01:07:26,755 I'm sorry. 938 01:07:26,963 --> 01:07:29,382 That's how we eat lobster where I come from. 939 01:07:29,549 --> 01:07:34,804 Oh, no-no-no. I don't care about that. 940 01:07:36,598 --> 01:07:39,601 I was trying to do something in there, and I guess I did it very badly. 941 01:07:39,726 --> 01:07:41,770 I was trying... 942 01:07:43,355 --> 01:07:48,401 to ask you if you wanted to get married. 943 01:07:50,111 --> 01:07:52,447 Madison, will you marry me? 944 01:07:58,578 --> 01:08:00,372 No. 945 01:08:00,580 --> 01:08:03,583 What? No? Just no? 946 01:08:03,708 --> 01:08:06,544 You don't want to think about it, kick it around? 947 01:08:06,753 --> 01:08:08,880 - I can't. - Why? 948 01:08:09,005 --> 01:08:11,508 I can't tell you. 949 01:08:11,675 --> 01:08:13,885 I know you have some big secret you think... 950 01:08:14,010 --> 01:08:16,054 you can't tell me, but you can. 951 01:08:16,137 --> 01:08:18,139 - You're already married? - Allen. 952 01:08:18,264 --> 01:08:20,350 You're dying? You were once a man? 953 01:08:20,475 --> 01:08:22,936 - Whatever it is, you can tell me. - Allen. 954 01:08:23,103 --> 01:08:26,439 I only have three days left. 955 01:08:28,108 --> 01:08:30,610 Please make them wonderful. 956 01:08:33,029 --> 01:08:34,823 Okay. 957 01:08:42,247 --> 01:08:44,666 Want to skate some more? 958 01:08:45,792 --> 01:08:47,836 Yeah. Yeah, I do. 959 01:08:51,673 --> 01:08:53,508 Allen? 960 01:09:09,858 --> 01:09:11,693 You know them? 961 01:09:11,860 --> 01:09:15,530 No, I'vejust seen them before. 962 01:09:15,655 --> 01:09:18,283 I guess they've come here for about 40 years. 963 01:09:21,202 --> 01:09:23,038 They look very happy. 964 01:09:23,204 --> 01:09:26,458 Why shouldn't they be happy, huh? 965 01:09:26,583 --> 01:09:29,794 They get to spend their whole lives together. 966 01:09:32,964 --> 01:09:36,676 Is this really what happens when water gets cold? 967 01:09:36,885 --> 01:09:38,928 Yeah. 968 01:09:39,054 --> 01:09:42,057 Where I come from, it never gets cold. 969 01:09:42,182 --> 01:09:44,559 Well, hey, what a breakthrough! 970 01:09:44,684 --> 01:09:47,854 You just really opened up to me there. 971 01:09:50,440 --> 01:09:52,901 Your voice sounds funny. 972 01:09:53,068 --> 01:09:55,195 It's called sarcasm. 973 01:09:55,362 --> 01:09:58,031 They don't have that where you come from either? 974 01:09:59,741 --> 01:10:01,826 No. 975 01:10:03,912 --> 01:10:06,414 Well, they don't have anything, do they? 976 01:10:06,581 --> 01:10:10,877 They don't have ice, or music or clothes. 977 01:10:11,002 --> 01:10:13,672 What kind of a place is this? 978 01:10:15,090 --> 01:10:17,217 Madison? 979 01:10:17,342 --> 01:10:20,220 - Madison! - Hey, those skates are rented! 980 01:10:20,428 --> 01:10:24,099 Give me one second. Madison? Ahh! Madison! 981 01:10:26,393 --> 01:10:29,437 Madison, please? I'm sorry! 982 01:10:29,562 --> 01:10:32,565 Let her go. Show some dignity. 983 01:10:32,649 --> 01:10:34,067 Madison? 984 01:10:37,070 --> 01:10:39,447 [ Indistinct ] 985 01:10:42,409 --> 01:10:44,202 Thanks. 986 01:11:07,058 --> 01:11:09,436 [ Car Horn ] 987 01:11:21,656 --> 01:11:24,659 [ Thunder ] 988 01:12:35,313 --> 01:12:37,982 Hey, Charlie. How's it goin'? 989 01:12:42,737 --> 01:12:44,572 - Allen? - What? 990 01:12:53,289 --> 01:12:55,166 Yes. 991 01:13:09,431 --> 01:13:14,102 If we get our blood test today, we can marry tomorrow! 992 01:13:14,310 --> 01:13:16,104 Before the blood test, I have to tell you everything. 993 01:13:16,312 --> 01:13:18,690 So, tell me. 994 01:13:18,857 --> 01:13:21,609 - Not today. - But see, 995 01:13:21,776 --> 01:13:24,320 if we get the test today-- no pressure, mind you-- 996 01:13:24,487 --> 01:13:28,116 then as soon as you tell me, we can get married. 997 01:13:28,283 --> 01:13:30,702 Listen,you will love being married to me. 998 01:13:30,869 --> 01:13:35,248 I was born to be married. Mom and Dad were married. 999 01:13:35,415 --> 01:13:38,710 Their moms and dads were married too. 1000 01:13:43,298 --> 01:13:46,426 [ Panting ] 1001 01:14:11,534 --> 01:14:13,536 [ Camera Clicks ] 1002 01:14:17,499 --> 01:14:19,542 Son of a bitch. 1003 01:14:19,668 --> 01:14:22,045 I thought we were going upstairs. 1004 01:14:22,170 --> 01:14:24,881 I love you. I'm not gonna lose you again. 1005 01:14:25,090 --> 01:14:27,342 We are getting married tonight. 1006 01:14:27,342 --> 01:14:30,845 We're gonna drive to Maryland. Freddie always marries there. 1007 01:14:31,262 --> 01:14:33,473 You don't need a blood test down there. 1008 01:14:33,473 --> 01:14:36,685 There's this dinner with the president. Damn! 1009 01:14:37,018 --> 01:14:40,647 Hey, that's okay! We'll go to Maryland after dinner. 1010 01:14:40,814 --> 01:14:43,274 - We'll already be dressed up! - I haven't told you-- 1011 01:14:43,441 --> 01:14:45,819 You haven't told me this big secret. 1012 01:14:45,944 --> 01:14:47,737 Tell me on the way to Maryland. 1013 01:14:48,947 --> 01:14:50,740 Oooh! 1014 01:15:21,312 --> 01:15:24,566 I hope we have a boy and a girl. 1015 01:15:25,900 --> 01:15:30,363 - What kind? - Wha-- What kind? 1016 01:15:30,530 --> 01:15:32,866 The young kind, I guess. 1017 01:15:32,991 --> 01:15:35,493 The older ones are a little hard to deliver. 1018 01:15:35,660 --> 01:15:37,454 We're getting married tonight. 1019 01:15:37,662 --> 01:15:39,414 - Wonderful. - Thank you. 1020 01:15:39,414 --> 01:15:43,001 Why is this bread in here instead of out there? 1021 01:15:43,418 --> 01:15:45,879 The butter is hard like a rock. 1022 01:15:46,087 --> 01:15:48,506 Do you have a broken arm? 1023 01:15:48,673 --> 01:15:51,718 No, it's fractured in 1 6 places. 1024 01:15:51,843 --> 01:15:53,678 Why are you here? 1025 01:15:55,180 --> 01:15:56,973 The union sent me. 1026 01:15:57,015 --> 01:15:59,559 [''Hail To The Chief'] 1027 01:15:59,934 --> 01:16:02,562 My God, the president is here! 1028 01:16:02,729 --> 01:16:06,066 The president's here. The president's here! 1029 01:16:23,458 --> 01:16:25,293 Hmm. 1030 01:16:41,601 --> 01:16:43,728 I'm just a corn-fed Kansas boy, 1031 01:16:43,853 --> 01:16:46,940 but you are the Big Apple of my eye. 1032 01:16:48,566 --> 01:16:50,610 Thank you. 1033 01:16:50,735 --> 01:16:52,529 Thank you. 1034 01:16:52,737 --> 01:16:54,781 Thank you vety much. 1035 01:16:56,324 --> 01:17:00,662 Thank you. It's great to be back in New York. 1036 01:17:11,256 --> 01:17:13,258 Alert. Alert. Table 5. 1037 01:17:13,341 --> 01:17:15,218 Intercept busboy with suspicious hump. 1038 01:17:18,847 --> 01:17:20,598 He's reaching! Get him now! 1039 01:17:20,807 --> 01:17:23,852 - Sir, I'd like a word with you, please. - About what? 1040 01:17:23,977 --> 01:17:25,770 This has nothing to do with the president. 1041 01:17:25,979 --> 01:17:28,690 This has nothing to do with the president.! 1042 01:17:28,857 --> 01:17:30,692 [ Indistinct ] 1043 01:17:30,859 --> 01:17:35,363 Well, I guess he just found out what his dinner cost. 1044 01:17:38,450 --> 01:17:40,618 I want to talk to the press. 1045 01:17:40,744 --> 01:17:42,829 I want to talk to the press. 1046 01:17:42,996 --> 01:17:45,248 I have a formal statement to make! 1047 01:17:45,373 --> 01:17:48,918 [ President ] In Bob Hollins, you have a candidate for Congress... 1048 01:17:49,085 --> 01:17:51,129 who is in touch with the people, 1049 01:17:51,212 --> 01:17:54,924 a man who built up the business left to him by his grandfather. 1050 01:17:55,133 --> 01:17:56,926 What was once a small pushcart on wheels-- 1051 01:17:57,135 --> 01:17:59,971 - Allen? - Yeah? 1052 01:18:00,180 --> 01:18:02,474 It's time for me to tell you. 1053 01:18:02,599 --> 01:18:04,684 What? Now? 1054 01:18:04,768 --> 01:18:08,063 - Right now. - Okay. Great. 1055 01:18:08,188 --> 01:18:10,023 - Not here. - Fine. Fine. 1056 01:18:10,231 --> 01:18:12,025 [ President ] But more importantly, with fresh meat. 1057 01:18:14,652 --> 01:18:17,697 - I am not crazy. There's a mermaid in there. - Shut up. 1058 01:18:17,822 --> 01:18:19,616 - What mermaid? - I am a scientist! 1059 01:18:19,824 --> 01:18:22,202 Where's the goddamn car! 1060 01:18:22,410 --> 01:18:25,038 The gray BMW. 1061 01:18:25,205 --> 01:18:26,998 [ Shouting ] 1062 01:18:27,207 --> 01:18:29,668 [ Indistinct ] 1063 01:18:29,834 --> 01:18:31,878 Hey, I know that guy. 1064 01:18:32,045 --> 01:18:34,839 I saw him on Cape Cod. He was crazy then. 1065 01:18:35,048 --> 01:18:38,510 There she is! There she is! 1066 01:18:41,137 --> 01:18:43,264 - Don't let him shoot that. - That a gun? 1067 01:18:43,640 --> 01:18:46,184 - Hold it.! - No! 1068 01:18:46,351 --> 01:18:49,396 Get that thing out ofhis hand. 1069 01:18:49,562 --> 01:18:51,314 Grab that hose.! 1070 01:18:51,523 --> 01:18:54,609 Grab him.! Get him.! 1071 01:18:59,114 --> 01:19:01,157 - No! - What's going on? 1072 01:19:20,468 --> 01:19:22,804 I was right! 1073 01:19:22,929 --> 01:19:26,683 Behold the mermaid! 1074 01:19:26,891 --> 01:19:31,146 [ Crowd Gasps ] 1075 01:19:33,440 --> 01:19:34,941 Let me outta here.! 1076 01:19:35,108 --> 01:19:36,901 Who are you? What is your name? 1077 01:19:37,110 --> 01:19:38,695 Allen! 1078 01:19:39,946 --> 01:19:42,323 - What do we do? - Grab her. Grab everybody. 1079 01:19:42,449 --> 01:19:46,578 - I want to see her. - Allen! Allen! 1080 01:19:47,829 --> 01:19:49,622 Get her.! Get her.! 1081 01:19:51,416 --> 01:19:53,293 Allen.! 1082 01:19:56,755 --> 01:19:58,423 Please? 1083 01:19:58,590 --> 01:20:01,426 - Let's pick her up. - Allen. Allen! 1084 01:20:06,973 --> 01:20:09,017 Allen. Allen. 1085 01:20:13,938 --> 01:20:15,940 Allen.! 1086 01:20:22,113 --> 01:20:25,575 Good afternoon, Dr. Ross. 1087 01:20:25,742 --> 01:20:28,578 [ Man On P.A. System ] Dr. Hill, line 5. Stat.! 1088 01:20:30,580 --> 01:20:32,374 - Buckwalter. - Sir! 1089 01:20:33,667 --> 01:20:35,460 Gentlemen. 1090 01:20:35,669 --> 01:20:37,462 - Anything? - No change. 1091 01:20:48,556 --> 01:20:50,892 I am not a fish! 1092 01:20:51,059 --> 01:20:55,522 How many times do I have to tell you that? 1093 01:20:55,689 --> 01:20:58,692 Will you just let me out of here? 1094 01:20:58,817 --> 01:21:01,986 Please? Huh? People? 1095 01:21:02,112 --> 01:21:04,197 Let's try some interaction. 1096 01:21:04,280 --> 01:21:06,574 Fine.Jim? 1097 01:21:06,741 --> 01:21:09,577 [ Hoist Motor] 1098 01:21:40,859 --> 01:21:42,652 [ Beeping ] 1099 01:21:58,626 --> 01:22:02,630 I guess they thought you might be one. 1100 01:22:03,965 --> 01:22:06,301 Yeah. 1101 01:22:06,468 --> 01:22:08,470 I guess so. 1102 01:22:09,721 --> 01:22:13,475 You said whatever my secret was, you'd understand. 1103 01:22:13,683 --> 01:22:16,936 I know. 1104 01:22:19,731 --> 01:22:23,401 You thought at least I was a human being. 1105 01:22:30,075 --> 01:22:31,868 Allen? 1106 01:22:48,510 --> 01:22:51,805 He's been in the water 1 2 hours. He's just a man. 1107 01:22:51,930 --> 01:22:55,141 Get him out so we can concentrate on her. 1108 01:23:06,403 --> 01:23:09,197 Greg Martin, W-M-E-T Radio, here with Allen Bauer. 1109 01:23:09,364 --> 01:23:12,742 - When did you meet the mermaid? - Tell me where. 1110 01:23:12,909 --> 01:23:15,036 Did you know she was a mermaid? 1111 01:23:15,203 --> 01:23:18,748 - Did you actually make love to her? - That's a stupid question. 1112 01:23:18,915 --> 01:23:20,709 Did she eat worms? 1113 01:23:20,917 --> 01:23:23,503 Would you have to make love to her in water? 1114 01:23:23,670 --> 01:23:25,422 That's none of your business. 1115 01:23:25,630 --> 01:23:28,008 Is she a mutant or missing link? 1116 01:23:28,133 --> 01:23:29,926 No, she's not. 1117 01:23:30,135 --> 01:23:32,846 I'm from People. Is she also seeing Burt Reynolds? 1118 01:23:33,054 --> 01:23:36,099 For crying out loud! 1119 01:23:39,102 --> 01:23:41,187 Leave him alone! 1120 01:23:41,354 --> 01:23:45,025 Leave him alone! Get out of the way! 1121 01:23:45,191 --> 01:23:47,068 - Let me through. - Out of the way. 1122 01:23:47,235 --> 01:23:50,321 - Allen, you all right? - Yeah. Get me out. 1123 01:23:50,405 --> 01:23:52,782 Is anyone here from Penthouse? 1124 01:23:52,949 --> 01:23:56,202 - [ Reporters ] No. - Then we ain't talking. 1125 01:23:57,412 --> 01:23:59,914 [ Car Radio ] 1126 01:24:16,931 --> 01:24:19,100 Hey, Allen? 1127 01:24:25,690 --> 01:24:29,402 What are you looking at? You never saw a guy who slept with a fish? 1128 01:24:29,611 --> 01:24:32,072 Get back to work! 1129 01:24:33,406 --> 01:24:36,242 Mr. Bauer, you had a million messages. 1130 01:24:36,451 --> 01:24:38,286 I wrote them down. 1131 01:24:38,286 --> 01:24:43,458 You got calls from CBS, NBC, ABC, AP, 1132 01:24:43,917 --> 01:24:47,921 UPI, Ted Turner, Time, Newsweek, 1133 01:24:48,004 --> 01:24:50,590 Marineland, ''Ripley's Believe It Or Not, '' 1134 01:24:50,799 --> 01:24:53,134 and Mrs. Paul. 1135 01:24:53,301 --> 01:24:55,929 Not now, Mrs. Stimler. 1136 01:25:00,350 --> 01:25:03,061 ''Fishman?'' 1137 01:25:03,269 --> 01:25:05,063 Fishman! 1138 01:25:05,271 --> 01:25:07,982 That's what they're calling you on TVtoo. 1139 01:25:08,191 --> 01:25:10,610 Personally, I think it's kinda cute. 1140 01:25:14,364 --> 01:25:17,367 - So, how is she? - How is she? 1141 01:25:17,659 --> 01:25:22,038 She's... a mermaid. 1142 01:25:22,205 --> 01:25:26,251 I don't understand. All my life... 1143 01:25:26,334 --> 01:25:28,420 I've been waiting for someone... 1144 01:25:28,545 --> 01:25:30,839 and when I find her, 1145 01:25:30,964 --> 01:25:32,757 she's a fish. 1146 01:25:32,966 --> 01:25:35,176 Nobody said love's perfect! 1147 01:25:35,343 --> 01:25:39,973 Oh, Freddie, I don't expect it to be perfect, 1148 01:25:40,181 --> 01:25:42,934 but for God's sake, it's usually human! 1149 01:25:44,811 --> 01:25:47,439 Every day people meet and they fall in love. 1150 01:25:47,605 --> 01:25:49,399 Look what I got. 1151 01:25:51,192 --> 01:25:55,280 Look what you got. Yeah, let's look. 1152 01:25:56,448 --> 01:25:59,284 Let's take a good look at what you got. 1153 01:25:59,492 --> 01:26:01,953 - People fall in love every day, huh? - Yeah. 1154 01:26:02,120 --> 01:26:05,874 That's a crock! It doesn't work that way. 1155 01:26:06,082 --> 01:26:08,626 Do you realize how happy you were with her? 1156 01:26:08,793 --> 01:26:11,171 That is, when you weren't driving yourself crazy. 1157 01:26:11,338 --> 01:26:14,341 Every day? Come on. 1158 01:26:14,466 --> 01:26:18,011 Some people will never be that happy! I'll never be that happy. 1159 01:26:22,724 --> 01:26:24,517 What am I talking to you for? 1160 01:26:24,642 --> 01:26:27,479 You don't know nothing. Mrs. Stimler? 1161 01:26:33,568 --> 01:26:35,570 [ Beeping ] 1162 01:27:01,096 --> 01:27:02,889 Does she look a little pale? 1163 01:27:05,058 --> 01:27:07,185 Ah, that's a good day's work. 1164 01:27:07,310 --> 01:27:10,605 Tomorrow, I want to see how she interacts... 1165 01:27:10,772 --> 01:27:14,067 with other marine life, then the internal examination. 1166 01:27:16,569 --> 01:27:18,363 Internal? 1167 01:27:18,571 --> 01:27:21,574 I want to study her pulmonary system, 1168 01:27:21,658 --> 01:27:25,120 - reproductive organs, everything! - Dr. Ross? 1169 01:27:25,286 --> 01:27:28,748 Are we considering... 1170 01:27:28,915 --> 01:27:32,502 how the subject is responding to the examination procedure? 1171 01:27:32,669 --> 01:27:34,462 I'm considering everything! 1172 01:27:34,671 --> 01:27:36,965 Ah, yes, 1173 01:27:37,132 --> 01:27:39,592 I'm sure you are, Dr. Ross. 1174 01:27:39,801 --> 01:27:42,262 How stupid of me. But let me ask, 1175 01:27:42,470 --> 01:27:44,472 are you considering the possibility... 1176 01:27:44,472 --> 01:27:46,808 that you might be a sadistic pig? 1177 01:27:51,646 --> 01:27:54,983 While we are baring our souls, Mr. Kornbluth, 1178 01:27:55,442 --> 01:27:58,903 I must honestly tell you I have never considered you a man of science. 1179 01:27:59,070 --> 01:28:02,115 You're not a member of my team. 1180 01:28:02,240 --> 01:28:07,245 Run along, Walter. See if you can't find a unicorn. 1181 01:28:10,623 --> 01:28:12,417 [ Door Slams ] 1182 01:29:02,050 --> 01:29:04,135 [ Trickling Water] 1183 01:29:16,064 --> 01:29:19,442 - What's that? - Painkiller, Mr. Kornbluth. 1184 01:29:19,609 --> 01:29:22,404 Whoever punched you cracked your tooth. 1185 01:29:22,570 --> 01:29:25,073 We'll be very close to the nerve. 1186 01:29:25,240 --> 01:29:28,910 I don't deserve painkiller.Just drill. 1187 01:29:29,119 --> 01:29:32,706 Oh, you want pain. Well, we aim to please. 1188 01:29:32,914 --> 01:29:34,541 [ Drill Motor Whirring ] 1189 01:29:35,750 --> 01:29:37,502 Get out. 1190 01:29:37,711 --> 01:29:39,713 - What are you-- - Get out! 1191 01:29:39,838 --> 01:29:43,091 -Ja,ja,ja. - Please stay. Ahh! 1192 01:29:44,259 --> 01:29:46,094 Let's talk. 1193 01:29:49,097 --> 01:29:51,558 Hey, put that down. 1194 01:29:51,725 --> 01:29:54,102 - Put that needle down. - Stay away from me. 1195 01:29:54,269 --> 01:29:57,897 - I said, ''Let's talk.'' Put it down. - Stay away! 1196 01:30:03,111 --> 01:30:04,904 Ahhh! 1197 01:30:06,031 --> 01:30:09,659 Ahhh! Ohhh! 1198 01:30:11,077 --> 01:30:12,662 Uh. 1199 01:30:13,997 --> 01:30:15,665 Ah! 1200 01:30:16,875 --> 01:30:18,918 Ah! 1201 01:30:19,002 --> 01:30:20,795 Ah! 1202 01:30:21,004 --> 01:30:23,048 What a week I'm having! 1203 01:30:25,759 --> 01:30:28,136 You've destroyed my life, Kornbluth. 1204 01:30:28,261 --> 01:30:31,264 I didn't mean to. 1205 01:30:31,389 --> 01:30:34,434 I just had to prove that I wasn't crazy. 1206 01:30:34,601 --> 01:30:37,270 I'm a man of science. 1207 01:30:39,147 --> 01:30:43,276 I just didn't think about how it would affect you... 1208 01:30:43,777 --> 01:30:45,570 or her. 1209 01:30:45,779 --> 01:30:48,156 I'm really a nice guy. 1210 01:30:48,281 --> 01:30:50,742 If I had friends, you could ask them. 1211 01:30:50,909 --> 01:30:55,330 I've been on the phone to every employee of the government... 1212 01:30:55,413 --> 01:30:59,167 calling them sons of bitches. 1213 01:30:59,459 --> 01:31:02,128 Nobody could even get in to see her. 1214 01:31:04,005 --> 01:31:05,799 I can. 1215 01:31:09,010 --> 01:31:11,346 Come on. Come on! 1216 01:31:11,513 --> 01:31:13,515 - Ahh! - Come on. 1217 01:31:55,557 --> 01:31:58,727 Good afternoon, Dr. Kornbluth. I wasn't expecting you today. 1218 01:31:58,727 --> 01:32:00,770 These are Drs.Jarred and Johanssen... 1219 01:32:01,062 --> 01:32:03,106 from the Stockholm Institute. 1220 01:32:03,231 --> 01:32:05,358 I thought they were coming later with Dr. Ross. 1221 01:32:05,525 --> 01:32:10,363 No, no. That story was to fool the press. 1222 01:32:10,572 --> 01:32:13,867 You know, I'm half Swedish. 1223 01:32:18,830 --> 01:32:20,248 -Ja. -Ja. 1224 01:32:23,835 --> 01:32:27,630 -Ja. - Oh,ja. 1225 01:32:27,839 --> 01:32:31,509 - Well! -Just a second. 1226 01:32:48,276 --> 01:32:50,612 Ah. 1227 01:33:01,831 --> 01:33:04,417 - How the hell did you do that? - Let me tell you. 1228 01:33:04,584 --> 01:33:07,087 Many nudie films come from Sweden. 1229 01:33:07,253 --> 01:33:11,007 After you see them 400 or 500 times, the stuff sinks in. 1230 01:33:11,216 --> 01:33:13,593 Afternoon, Buckwalter. 1231 01:33:13,718 --> 01:33:15,762 Sorry, no one comes in... 1232 01:33:15,887 --> 01:33:18,556 until Dr. Ross gets back with them Swede people. 1233 01:33:18,765 --> 01:33:20,558 These are the Swedish doctors. 1234 01:33:20,767 --> 01:33:24,062 These are... Swedes? 1235 01:33:24,187 --> 01:33:26,272 Ah, come here. 1236 01:33:26,439 --> 01:33:30,110 Isn't that one kinda dark? 1237 01:33:30,318 --> 01:33:32,278 He's dirty from the trip! 1238 01:33:32,278 --> 01:33:34,572 - Let us in. - I'm not supposed to. 1239 01:33:35,115 --> 01:33:37,117 What are you afraid of? 1240 01:33:37,200 --> 01:33:40,912 Do you think we're gonna steal the mermaid? 1241 01:33:41,121 --> 01:33:43,331 Steal the mermaid. Stealing the mermaid! 1242 01:33:43,498 --> 01:33:46,751 Are we gonna fold her in half and put her in a briefcase? 1243 01:33:46,876 --> 01:33:48,753 In a briefcase. In half. 1244 01:33:48,962 --> 01:33:51,506 I guess it's all right. 1245 01:33:51,673 --> 01:33:53,383 Go in. Go in. 1246 01:33:53,591 --> 01:33:55,343 - Good joke, there. - Yeah. 1247 01:33:57,595 --> 01:33:59,389 [ Beeping ] 1248 01:34:30,545 --> 01:34:32,881 - Hi. - Hi. 1249 01:34:33,006 --> 01:34:36,676 Is this the big secret you've been keeping, 1250 01:34:36,843 --> 01:34:39,471 that you're a mermaid, or is there something else? 1251 01:34:39,637 --> 01:34:41,681 No, that's it. 1252 01:34:45,018 --> 01:34:48,271 Allen, don't feel guilty. 1253 01:34:48,396 --> 01:34:50,523 Guilty? About what? 1254 01:34:50,648 --> 01:34:52,901 About not loving me anymore. 1255 01:34:54,486 --> 01:34:57,030 Oh, Madison. 1256 01:34:57,238 --> 01:34:59,407 All the time we were together, 1257 01:34:59,574 --> 01:35:01,910 you always knew how I was feeling. 1258 01:35:02,077 --> 01:35:03,912 Can't you tell now? 1259 01:35:09,084 --> 01:35:10,919 [ Faster Beeping ] 1260 01:35:13,338 --> 01:35:16,925 Well, left my wife in New Orleans 1261 01:35:17,092 --> 01:35:19,260 Forty-eight kids and a can of beans 1262 01:35:19,427 --> 01:35:22,180 - Left, right, one, two - Oh, my God! 1263 01:35:22,389 --> 01:35:24,391 - What? - Stand back, man. 1264 01:35:24,516 --> 01:35:27,894 Cover his face, for God's sake! 1265 01:35:28,019 --> 01:35:30,522 What happened? What's going on? 1266 01:35:30,689 --> 01:35:33,149 Dr.Johanssen bent down to examine that creature... 1267 01:35:33,316 --> 01:35:35,944 and suddenly these rays came out of her eyes! 1268 01:35:36,111 --> 01:35:39,406 Don't go in there! She'll melt your face off. 1269 01:35:39,531 --> 01:35:41,408 I knew something would happen. What should I do? 1270 01:35:41,616 --> 01:35:44,953 - Don't whine. Seal off the area. - I'll call the Pentagon. 1271 01:35:45,120 --> 01:35:47,956 You want to create a national panic? 1272 01:35:48,123 --> 01:35:51,418 - I don't want to die! - Pull yourself together. 1273 01:35:51,543 --> 01:35:53,628 Don't let anybody in that room. 1274 01:35:53,795 --> 01:35:56,923 I'll be back with nuclear weapons. Come on, Doctor. 1275 01:36:24,826 --> 01:36:26,953 Good afternoon, Dr. Ross. Who are your guests? 1276 01:36:27,120 --> 01:36:30,331 Drs.Jarred and Johanssen from the Swedish Institute. 1277 01:36:30,498 --> 01:36:32,584 Sir? 1278 01:36:32,709 --> 01:36:37,088 Dr. Kornbluth left with the Swedes a few minutes ago. 1279 01:36:43,178 --> 01:36:46,973 Hiya, boys. Come in. The water's fine. 1280 01:36:47,182 --> 01:36:48,975 [ Laughing ] 1281 01:36:50,477 --> 01:36:54,105 Let's get her back now! And arrest him. 1282 01:36:57,692 --> 01:37:01,738 [ Alarm ] 1283 01:37:08,328 --> 01:37:13,667 [ Helicopter] We have a blue BMW. Over. 1284 01:37:35,897 --> 01:37:37,691 - [ Honking ] - Come on. 1285 01:37:37,899 --> 01:37:41,528 Know something? I don't think we're being followed. 1286 01:37:41,695 --> 01:37:44,572 Wha-- Well, that was easy. 1287 01:37:44,739 --> 01:37:48,159 That was simple! We did it! [ Laughing ] 1288 01:37:48,326 --> 01:37:50,578 -[ Walter ] My plan. - You're a genius. 1289 01:37:50,704 --> 01:37:53,081 I am a genius, but you came in with the Swedish thing. 1290 01:37:53,248 --> 01:37:56,710 That was a brilliant touch. 1291 01:37:56,876 --> 01:37:59,045 I didn't even like you when we first met. 1292 01:37:59,170 --> 01:38:01,464 Nobody likes me when they first meet me. 1293 01:38:01,589 --> 01:38:03,425 [ Laughing ] 1294 01:38:03,591 --> 01:38:05,969 Allen? 1295 01:38:12,767 --> 01:38:14,853 - Move! - All right. Here we go! 1296 01:38:19,566 --> 01:38:22,068 [ Honking ] 1297 01:38:25,739 --> 01:38:28,241 [ Honking ] 1298 01:38:31,119 --> 01:38:33,288 Suspect heading south on Broadway. 1299 01:39:05,945 --> 01:39:10,325 [ Helicopter ] Unit One. Lost them in the Wall Street district. Over. 1300 01:39:13,078 --> 01:39:14,871 - Stop the car. - What? 1301 01:39:15,330 --> 01:39:17,957 Stop and let me out. I'll slow them down. Do it! 1302 01:39:24,506 --> 01:39:27,926 I caused all this. Now I'm gonna finish it. 1303 01:39:36,685 --> 01:39:38,478 Get the hell out of here. 1304 01:39:38,687 --> 01:39:40,438 Go! 1305 01:39:58,331 --> 01:40:00,417 Whoa! Oooh. 1306 01:40:02,711 --> 01:40:05,505 What a week I'm having.! 1307 01:40:06,715 --> 01:40:08,550 [ Honking ] 1308 01:40:16,349 --> 01:40:19,019 [ Honking ] 1309 01:40:20,645 --> 01:40:22,939 Hey, mac, move that thing out of here. 1310 01:40:24,524 --> 01:40:26,735 Up yours, Gomer. I'm waitin' for a fare. 1311 01:40:26,901 --> 01:40:28,945 [ Tires Screech ] 1312 01:40:34,451 --> 01:40:36,953 Heave! 1313 01:40:38,913 --> 01:40:41,124 All right. Move out. 1314 01:40:42,292 --> 01:40:44,502 Come on, let's go! 1315 01:41:10,570 --> 01:41:12,947 - I was ready to stay with you forever. - I know. 1316 01:41:13,073 --> 01:41:15,867 They know who you are. They won't leave you alone. 1317 01:41:16,076 --> 01:41:18,453 I can't ever come back to you. 1318 01:41:18,620 --> 01:41:21,081 I wish I could go with you. 1319 01:41:21,247 --> 01:41:23,291 You can. 1320 01:41:23,291 --> 01:41:25,710 - How? - It can be done. 1321 01:41:26,127 --> 01:41:29,964 Remember when you were eight and fell off the ship? 1322 01:41:30,131 --> 01:41:32,509 You were safe under the water, weren't you? 1323 01:41:32,676 --> 01:41:34,803 Yeah. 1324 01:41:34,969 --> 01:41:37,347 You were with me. 1325 01:41:37,514 --> 01:41:40,642 You mean, that was real? 1326 01:41:41,726 --> 01:41:44,145 That was you? 1327 01:41:44,312 --> 01:41:46,981 That was you! 1328 01:41:49,859 --> 01:41:52,445 This is great. This is great! 1329 01:41:52,654 --> 01:41:54,864 I can go with you and still come back... 1330 01:41:54,989 --> 01:41:57,659 and see Freddie at Christmas. 1331 01:41:57,826 --> 01:41:59,828 You can't ever come back. 1332 01:41:59,953 --> 01:42:03,081 [ Sirens ] 1333 01:42:13,633 --> 01:42:15,468 Madison. 1334 01:42:18,430 --> 01:42:20,223 I understand. 1335 01:42:29,649 --> 01:42:31,693 You on the dock, don't move. 1336 01:42:31,860 --> 01:42:33,695 You're under arrest. 1337 01:42:33,903 --> 01:42:35,989 Let the girl go. Step back. 1338 01:42:36,156 --> 01:42:38,199 You're under arrest. 1339 01:42:38,324 --> 01:42:40,118 You have to go. 1340 01:42:40,326 --> 01:42:42,620 Move out. Let's go.! 1341 01:42:43,705 --> 01:42:45,498 I love you, Madison. 1342 01:42:47,334 --> 01:42:48,752 Go. 1343 01:42:51,087 --> 01:42:52,964 Go! 1344 01:42:59,554 --> 01:43:02,390 Get that guy on the dock. 1345 01:43:03,767 --> 01:43:05,393 Leave her alone! 1346 01:43:08,438 --> 01:43:10,065 Leave her alone! 1347 01:43:20,408 --> 01:43:22,660 Madison. 1348 01:43:29,626 --> 01:43:31,211 Madison! 1349 01:43:41,429 --> 01:43:45,100 Stay where you are. We'll get you out. 1350 01:43:48,061 --> 01:43:50,730 [ Gasping ] Madison! 1351 01:44:36,109 --> 01:44:38,153 [ Garbled Shouts ] 1352 01:44:38,278 --> 01:44:39,946 Ooo! 1353 01:45:08,433 --> 01:45:12,604 [''Love Came For Me''] 1354 01:45:12,729 --> 01:45:15,899 One fine day 1355 01:45:17,067 --> 01:45:22,280 Love came for me 1356 01:45:24,074 --> 01:45:28,161 And love was rare 1357 01:45:30,038 --> 01:45:34,084 As love can be 1358 01:45:35,960 --> 01:45:41,007 I saw stars 1359 01:45:41,174 --> 01:45:46,554 Shining in clear blue skies 1360 01:45:46,721 --> 01:45:52,394 We flowed together 1361 01:45:53,561 --> 01:45:56,815 Once and forever 1362 01:45:59,234 --> 01:46:03,363 Love came for me 1363 01:46:05,281 --> 01:46:08,868 One fine night 1364 01:46:11,037 --> 01:46:15,417 Love let us see 1365 01:46:16,960 --> 01:46:21,589 How far we'll go 1366 01:46:22,882 --> 01:46:26,386 How good we'll be 1367 01:46:29,055 --> 01:46:31,850 We saw a world 1368 01:46:33,643 --> 01:46:39,441 No one ever saw before 1369 01:46:39,649 --> 01:46:43,445 It was the world 1370 01:46:43,611 --> 01:46:46,906 Love can start 1371 01:46:47,032 --> 01:46:51,661 With a beat of a heart 1372 01:46:51,828 --> 01:46:55,915 Love came for me 1373 01:47:21,024 --> 01:47:24,569 I saw stars 1374 01:47:26,696 --> 01:47:32,535 Shining in clear blue skies 1375 01:47:32,744 --> 01:47:36,039 We flowed together 1376 01:47:38,124 --> 01:47:43,755 Once and forever 1377 01:47:43,922 --> 01:47:48,343 Love came for me 1378 01:47:49,761 --> 01:47:53,973 One fine night 1379 01:47:55,517 --> 01:47:59,854 Love let us see 1380 01:48:01,272 --> 01:48:05,485 How far we'll go 1381 01:48:07,195 --> 01:48:11,908 How good we'll be 1382 01:48:13,243 --> 01:48:18,498 We saw a world 1383 01:48:18,623 --> 01:48:25,171 No one ever saw before 1384 01:48:25,380 --> 01:48:28,675 It was the world 1385 01:48:28,800 --> 01:48:32,178 Love can start 1386 01:48:32,345 --> 01:48:37,142 With a beat of a heart 1387 01:48:37,350 --> 01:48:41,938 Love came for me 1388 01:48:42,105 --> 01:48:48,194 Love came for me 1389 01:48:48,319 --> 01:48:53,074 Love came for me 1390 01:48:53,074 --> 01:48:57,245 >> Napisy pobrane z http://napisy.org << >>>>>>>> nowa wizja napisów <<<<<<<< 90216

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.