All language subtitles for Mum s03e02 Tuesday.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:25,320 Oh. 2 00:00:28,905 --> 00:00:30,185 All right, Cath? 3 00:00:31,975 --> 00:00:34,530 Oh. Yeah, good. Yeah. 4 00:00:35,382 --> 00:00:37,011 We've just seen a wolf. 5 00:00:37,995 --> 00:00:39,395 Oh, OK. 6 00:00:43,369 --> 00:00:48,017 We just saw a wolf, didn't we? 7 00:00:49,365 --> 00:00:50,565 Yes. 8 00:00:51,627 --> 00:00:55,363 Ha, don't say it like that. You said it was a wolf. 9 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,946 Yes. Absolutely. 10 00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:59,757 It was definitely a wolf. 11 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:01,913 What else could it have been? 12 00:01:03,037 --> 00:01:04,237 A dog. 13 00:01:07,089 --> 00:01:08,457 - Oh, yeah. - Breakfast? 14 00:01:08,689 --> 00:01:09,889 - Um... 15 00:01:10,533 --> 00:01:14,860 I've got a bit of a hangover. I'm not sure I'll be eating much. 16 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:16,719 No, but everyone else will. 17 00:01:17,094 --> 00:01:18,294 Right. 18 00:01:18,629 --> 00:01:19,996 Off you pop. 19 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:28,460 You know, weighing it all up, I think it might have been a dog. 20 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:30,437 Of course it was a fucking dog. 21 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:34,020 - Good morning. - Sorry, Mum, can't talk, I'm too hungry. 22 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:48,062 - Morning. - Morning. 23 00:01:48,123 --> 00:01:49,526 Morning, Michael. 24 00:01:49,587 --> 00:01:51,620 - I've just had a blackberry. - Oh, nice. 25 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,784 Yeah. Got it off a bush. 26 00:01:54,011 --> 00:01:55,291 Oh. 27 00:02:03,244 --> 00:02:06,125 - A little bit giggly, wasn't I? - Just a bit. 28 00:02:07,406 --> 00:02:09,186 And then I fell asleep. 29 00:02:09,247 --> 00:02:12,684 - You were fast asleep on the sofa. - Oh, God! 30 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,059 What did I come in here for? 31 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:21,547 Oh, yeah. 32 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,558 Um... Hm. 33 00:02:24,383 --> 00:02:25,969 Have you seen my slippers? 34 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:30,673 Well, actually, last night, 35 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:35,545 the really funny thing was you fell asleep on Michael. 36 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,454 How do you mean? 37 00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:40,340 Well, we were watching the film 38 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:43,081 and you fell asleep with your head on Michael's shoulder. 39 00:02:44,968 --> 00:02:47,009 - Did I? - Yeah. 40 00:02:47,381 --> 00:02:48,631 Not like you. 41 00:02:49,022 --> 00:02:50,223 Oh, dear. 42 00:02:53,499 --> 00:02:55,059 Everyone saw it. 43 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,910 You think Michael would have moved or something. 44 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:04,606 - But he just sat there. - Did he? 45 00:03:04,667 --> 00:03:07,089 - Yeah. - Weird. 46 00:03:08,156 --> 00:03:10,407 All right, Cath? I've just got my wellies off. 47 00:03:11,336 --> 00:03:12,540 Well done, love. 48 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:15,140 - Thanks. - What's happened? 49 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,487 I've just got my wellies off. I did it myself. 50 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:20,126 - Congratulations. - Thanks, mate. 51 00:03:20,187 --> 00:03:23,000 - Want some of this old meat? - Do you even have to ask? 52 00:03:24,276 --> 00:03:26,528 - It was a good night, wasn't it? - Oh, yeah. 53 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:31,505 Are you all right if I have this? What about this one? 54 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,440 - Are you sure? I don't want to... - Go for it. 55 00:04:11,145 --> 00:04:15,745 Synced & corrected by minouhse www.addic7ed.com 56 00:04:29,661 --> 00:04:34,285 _ 57 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,850 - You all right, babe? - Yeah. 58 00:04:43,223 --> 00:04:45,014 How's the morning sickness? 59 00:04:46,221 --> 00:04:47,860 It's great, babe, yeah. 60 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,820 Remember, the pregnancy doesn't last forever, 61 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:52,760 so at the very most you'll feel like this for nine months. 62 00:04:53,667 --> 00:04:54,947 Yeah. 63 00:04:56,307 --> 00:04:58,922 That's really helpful, babe, thanks. 64 00:04:59,770 --> 00:05:01,010 Kiss? 65 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:04,700 No, probably for the best. 66 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:06,011 Just ate a sausage. 67 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:12,946 You're doing really well, babe. 68 00:05:15,809 --> 00:05:17,380 Oh, babe. 69 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:18,934 You're so strong. 70 00:05:19,588 --> 00:05:21,535 Women are amazing. 71 00:05:23,903 --> 00:05:25,980 You got the password for the wifi? 72 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:30,020 Uh, yeah. It's peter17. 73 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:33,307 That's peter, all lower case, and then just the number 17. 74 00:05:40,766 --> 00:05:42,006 P... 75 00:05:47,797 --> 00:05:49,037 Er... 76 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:55,760 peter17? 77 00:05:56,502 --> 00:05:57,722 Yeah. 78 00:06:05,876 --> 00:06:07,156 E... 79 00:06:15,852 --> 00:06:17,446 Oh, wow. 80 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:20,108 Women are so amazing. 81 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,509 God, they're so much better than men. 82 00:06:22,570 --> 00:06:24,882 - Could you stay over there? - Yeah, course. Sorry. 83 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:27,448 Could you face the other way? 84 00:06:27,508 --> 00:06:28,788 Yep. No worries. 85 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,945 Maybe you should just clean your teeth, babe. 86 00:06:34,115 --> 00:06:35,315 Yep. 87 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:42,420 Do you mind if I use your toothbrush? 88 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:47,840 There. 89 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,240 Thanks. 90 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,032 Last night was fun, wasn't it? 91 00:06:56,027 --> 00:06:57,267 Yeah. 92 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,060 Jason said I fell asleep on Michael. 93 00:07:02,361 --> 00:07:03,601 Yeah. 94 00:07:07,186 --> 00:07:08,406 You tried banging it? 95 00:07:08,467 --> 00:07:10,507 - Er, no. - Give it here. 96 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:18,960 Oh. 97 00:07:23,379 --> 00:07:24,739 - It's not that one. - No. 98 00:07:34,189 --> 00:07:35,600 It's not that one. 99 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,090 Yeah, I got my wellies off. 100 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:42,960 Just like that. Did it myself. 101 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,724 It's amazing what you can achieve when you put your mind to it. 102 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:56,612 - Are you going to take your clothes off? - I'm not getting into the shower with you. 103 00:07:57,795 --> 00:07:59,075 It's a power shower. 104 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:03,633 No worries, my darling. You carry on. 105 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:05,860 Look at me. 106 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,740 If only my dad could seem me now. 107 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:09,992 Sort of thing he dreamed about, poor sod. 108 00:08:13,665 --> 00:08:15,854 Oh. Morning. 109 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:18,192 You need a new toothbrush. 110 00:08:18,253 --> 00:08:19,933 Oh. What do you mean? 111 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:25,110 I've got one somewhere at home, just can't remember where I put it. 112 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,820 There was a thing on 5 Live about toothbrushes. 113 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,780 Who are these people spending seven quid on a toothbrush? 114 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,080 It was funny. 115 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,949 So, apparently, I fell asleep on you. 116 00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:38,270 Yeah. 117 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,774 - Morning. - Oh. 118 00:08:41,835 --> 00:08:44,900 - Morning. - Morning. Did you sleep well? 119 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,500 - Oh, no, fuck off. - Oh. 120 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:47,620 Sorry. 121 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,020 Sorry, I'm... 122 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,680 It's my sense of smell. 123 00:08:51,743 --> 00:08:54,855 The antibiotics make it really sensitive, don't they? 124 00:08:54,916 --> 00:08:57,700 - In the morning. - It's one of the many side effects. 125 00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,112 Oh, you poor thing. 126 00:09:02,506 --> 00:09:05,420 Would you mind breathing in that direction? 127 00:09:05,691 --> 00:09:06,931 Sure. 128 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,660 I'm just going to, um... 129 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:14,027 Will you go and get the bag really fucking quickly? 130 00:09:14,088 --> 00:09:15,368 Yeah. 131 00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:19,755 So... 132 00:09:21,380 --> 00:09:23,084 I fell asleep on your shoulder. 133 00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:25,963 I tried to move you off, but you weren't going anywhere. 134 00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,780 Dead to the world. 135 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:29,300 But em... 136 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:30,660 Yeah, it was fine. 137 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:32,080 You were just tired. 138 00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:35,820 - I don't think anyone saw. - Jason saw... 139 00:09:35,903 --> 00:09:37,143 Michael! 140 00:09:37,967 --> 00:09:39,280 Come see my room. 141 00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:46,006 - Sorry, mate. - Oh, don't worry. 142 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,340 Nothing you haven't seen before. 143 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,900 Though part of it is bigger than anything you've seen before. 144 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:52,900 HE LAUGHS 145 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,660 I'm kidding, I'm kidding. 146 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,700 It is on the larger end of the spectrum, 147 00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,460 according to the NHS website. 148 00:09:58,520 --> 00:09:59,740 But not in a weird way. 149 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,780 You wouldn't make a documentary about it. 150 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,660 If you saw it, you wouldn't, like, gasp or jump up and down. 151 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,740 You'd just be like, "Oh, OK." 152 00:10:06,801 --> 00:10:08,880 That's what most people say, anyway. 153 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:11,860 What are we talking about? 154 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,080 - My penis. - Ah, I thought we were. 155 00:10:15,669 --> 00:10:16,909 Babe. 156 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,580 Crisps, biscuits, gherkins or popcorn? 157 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:22,841 Biscuits. 158 00:10:22,927 --> 00:10:24,740 Digestives or ginger nuts? 159 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,060 Digestives. 160 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,436 - Chocolate or no chocolate? - No chocolate. 161 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:39,680 - We should keep the bag by the bed. - Cant talk, babe. 162 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,240 Sorry. 163 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:46,020 I know exactly how you feel. 164 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:49,730 If I've mixed my drinks or if I've been in the sun too much, or 165 00:10:49,791 --> 00:10:51,460 if I've eaten too much pork... 166 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:52,860 Can you shut the fuck up? 167 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,140 Yep. 168 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:55,420 Fireplace. 169 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:56,760 En-suite. 170 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:58,340 Dressing room. 171 00:10:58,400 --> 00:10:59,420 - Derek! - Sorry. 172 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,240 Sorry, my beautiful little petal. 173 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,439 I knew she was in there. Bollocks! 174 00:11:05,986 --> 00:11:08,460 Ah, you were excited about showing me the room. 175 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:09,740 I do this. 176 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,662 I get caught up in the adrenaline. 177 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:32,060 Hey, there, cutie. 178 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,060 - It's croissants. - Yes. 179 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:36,743 I'll come and join you in a minute, my pretty little button. 180 00:11:39,467 --> 00:11:42,180 If you tell a woman she looks nice, she'll forgive you anything. 181 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:45,080 - I'll remember that. - Yeah. Comes in handy. 182 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,980 Yeah, it was all right last night, wasn't it? 183 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,946 Yeah, mate. I love the Transformers movies. 184 00:11:53,007 --> 00:11:57,220 Yeah. We were just having a goodnight, and... 185 00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:00,561 Yeah, of course we were. We were watching a Transformers movie. 186 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:03,280 Yeah. And... 187 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,472 Cathy fell asleep on me. 188 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:09,011 I know. That's funny. 189 00:12:09,661 --> 00:12:12,185 Imagine falling asleep during a Transformers movie. 190 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:31,080 - Morning. - Yes. 191 00:12:35,246 --> 00:12:36,687 Just getting some air. 192 00:13:03,692 --> 00:13:06,280 - Good book? - Riveting. 193 00:13:15,396 --> 00:13:16,911 If you owned the moon... 194 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:20,560 how much would you charge people to look at it? 195 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,462 I'm not going to answer that. 196 00:13:40,217 --> 00:13:41,497 40 Pounds. 197 00:13:43,417 --> 00:13:44,697 Wow. 198 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:49,700 Is that for, like, an annual subscription, or...? 199 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,021 Per look. 200 00:13:52,443 --> 00:13:53,680 Per look? 201 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:58,859 So, every time I look at the moon, I've got to give you 40 quid? 202 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,920 If you want it enough, you'll pay the money. 203 00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:10,180 - What you watching? - Don't know. Whatever this is. 204 00:14:12,234 --> 00:14:15,860 I think they're trying to buy a house, or sell a house, or... 205 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,502 maybe they're antiques in it, or a chef. 206 00:14:18,634 --> 00:14:20,644 - I'm not really watching it. - Ah. 207 00:14:21,208 --> 00:14:22,448 Right. 208 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:28,500 You doing well with that meat, love. 209 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,145 Do you want any? There's tonnes. 210 00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:33,360 I don't know what you're saying, because your mouth's full of meat! 211 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:37,568 Why don't you cram a bit more in? 212 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,440 - You're so funny. - What was that? 213 00:14:48,147 --> 00:14:51,280 Right, then, my darling. Got my artisinal croissant. 214 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,572 - How's the book? - Riveting. 215 00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:59,145 Has there been, like, a murder yet, or...? 216 00:14:59,573 --> 00:15:00,813 Plate. 217 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,231 Yeah. 218 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,460 Excuse me. 219 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:13,280 Sorry, just me, being ignorant. 220 00:15:16,168 --> 00:15:18,628 I was going to eat a croissant off a bowl. 221 00:15:19,117 --> 00:15:21,237 Totally fucking ignorant. 222 00:15:22,381 --> 00:15:24,386 What are you meant to eat it off? 223 00:15:24,447 --> 00:15:26,245 A plate, obviously. 224 00:15:26,719 --> 00:15:28,019 What a clown! 225 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:29,371 HE CHUCKLES 226 00:15:31,368 --> 00:15:32,587 HE CHUCKLES AGAIN 227 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:49,680 Sorry about that. 228 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:57,383 Yeah, I was going to say. 229 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:01,680 Sometimes, I think we could sit like this for the rest of our lives. 230 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,270 We make quite a team, don't we? 231 00:16:06,204 --> 00:16:07,440 Me and you. 232 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,560 We could be together forever and ever. 233 00:16:13,187 --> 00:16:14,957 Makes you think, doesn't it? 234 00:16:15,018 --> 00:16:16,278 All this... 235 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:18,640 England... 236 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:21,320 Man and the land. 237 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:26,526 Makes you want to put down your roots, 238 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,457 get a bit of peace in your life. 239 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,020 You meant like a side plate, didn't you? 240 00:16:43,220 --> 00:16:44,689 Doesn't matter, Derek. 241 00:16:50,964 --> 00:16:52,224 Bollocks. 242 00:16:54,718 --> 00:16:58,840 Ha, yes, mad, me, falling asleep on Michael. 243 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:02,258 - Yeah, really weird. - Yeah. 244 00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:14,780 Did you apologise to him? 245 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:17,460 Oh, yeah. He was fine with it. 246 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:18,846 Yeah, I bet he was. 247 00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:33,219 I think your dad would have found it funny. 248 00:17:36,544 --> 00:17:38,605 I think he would have found it weird. 249 00:17:40,758 --> 00:17:41,998 Yeah. 250 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:52,240 I don't know what Nana and Grandad thought of you. 251 00:18:00,862 --> 00:18:03,782 - I need to go and get the paper. - Oh, OK. 252 00:18:14,879 --> 00:18:17,382 It wasn't that your breath was disgusting. 253 00:18:17,443 --> 00:18:19,797 - Oh, good. - Yeah. 254 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:23,848 Do you know the word heinous? 255 00:18:24,473 --> 00:18:26,800 Or the word unbearable? 256 00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:29,612 - Yeah, I do. - Yeah. 257 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:36,205 You know these things actually block out the heat. 258 00:18:36,266 --> 00:18:38,988 Oh, I know, yeah. It's terrible. 259 00:18:39,081 --> 00:18:40,371 Mmm. 260 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:48,325 Thank God it's just antibiotics, and I'm not pregnant or anything. 261 00:18:48,386 --> 00:18:49,606 Yeah. 262 00:18:49,950 --> 00:18:53,555 But the thing is, if it ever happens that I actually do become a mum, 263 00:18:53,616 --> 00:18:56,164 not that I'm pregnant, I know I'd be absolutely fine. 264 00:18:56,225 --> 00:18:58,140 - Yeah. - Yeah. 265 00:18:58,200 --> 00:18:59,716 I thought it all through. 266 00:18:59,777 --> 00:19:03,488 As long as I get my nine hours' sleep every night, I'll be absolutely fine. 267 00:19:03,549 --> 00:19:05,729 And I went into a NatWest, 268 00:19:05,790 --> 00:19:08,458 which makes no sense, because I'm with the Halifax. 269 00:19:08,519 --> 00:19:09,950 Reg had a dream. 270 00:19:10,043 --> 00:19:12,222 - Right. - And they'd run out of fivers. 271 00:19:12,283 --> 00:19:14,243 Sorry, can I erm...? 272 00:19:15,118 --> 00:19:18,920 I wanted change from a 20. All they had was tenners! 273 00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:22,020 I couldn't believe it was happening! 274 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:23,882 - Sorry, Reg, can I, erm...? - Sorry. 275 00:19:25,752 --> 00:19:27,847 Fiona Bruce was there. 276 00:19:27,908 --> 00:19:29,540 She was livid! 277 00:19:29,691 --> 00:19:31,380 She was going to write to head office. 278 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:32,800 - Sorry. - Oh, sorry. 279 00:19:40,123 --> 00:19:43,476 I was thinking, we could do some shooting while we're here. 280 00:19:43,961 --> 00:19:46,322 You know, like, pheasants and clay pigeons and that. 281 00:19:46,930 --> 00:19:48,431 I've never killed an animal. 282 00:19:48,962 --> 00:19:51,070 Unless you count running over a dog, 283 00:19:51,438 --> 00:19:53,546 in which case I've killed four animals. 284 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,261 Four! It sounds bad, doesn't it? 285 00:19:58,826 --> 00:20:01,366 And also, I hate flies, don't I, so... 286 00:20:01,847 --> 00:20:03,127 Are they animals? 287 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:08,952 God knows how many flies I have killed, hundreds, thousands! 288 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:11,553 There's a thought. 289 00:20:15,705 --> 00:20:18,950 Yeah, that was a decent croissant actually. 290 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,627 I've had better croissants obviously, 291 00:20:22,963 --> 00:20:24,723 it was a bit on the crumbly side, 292 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,720 but, yeah, all in all, not a bad croissant. 293 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:31,609 I need to pop out. 294 00:20:32,466 --> 00:20:33,772 Where are you going? 295 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:39,748 Jeff and I had a house near here. I need to pick up some chattels. 296 00:20:43,297 --> 00:20:44,784 Is Jeff going to be there? 297 00:20:46,811 --> 00:20:49,126 Pauline, this is my birthday celebration week. 298 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,460 I think you're so pretty! 299 00:20:55,350 --> 00:20:57,374 Need anything from the shop, Pauline? 300 00:20:57,435 --> 00:21:00,055 I'm getting my grandad a paper and a Twix. 301 00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:02,620 - I'll have a Twix, yeah. - OK. 302 00:21:03,051 --> 00:21:06,920 Make it three, and I'll have a Mars bar drink, a Yop and a Lion bar. 303 00:21:06,981 --> 00:21:10,242 - Get me two of each. - Wow, OK. 304 00:21:10,524 --> 00:21:12,660 Get me a few Lion bars, however many they've got, 305 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,176 and whatever Maltesers you can find, I can put them in a bowl. 306 00:21:15,236 --> 00:21:17,263 They sell White Mice, so get me a kilo. 307 00:21:17,481 --> 00:21:18,875 And a family pack of skittles. 308 00:21:19,250 --> 00:21:21,182 Oh, God. OK. 309 00:21:21,464 --> 00:21:22,901 Wait a minute, 310 00:21:23,987 --> 00:21:25,228 a Yop... 311 00:21:25,289 --> 00:21:28,784 Jason! And he's getting us a Twix? 312 00:21:28,845 --> 00:21:31,927 - Huh? - Jason's getting the paper. 313 00:21:32,285 --> 00:21:33,499 And a Twix. 314 00:21:34,391 --> 00:21:35,904 - One? - Yeah. 315 00:21:35,965 --> 00:21:37,216 Oh. 316 00:21:37,425 --> 00:21:41,640 A whole Twix to yourself. Jesus. Probably would, as well. 317 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,331 You've locked it. 318 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,000 Give me the passcode. 319 00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:54,240 - She brought it up! - Huh? 320 00:21:54,301 --> 00:21:56,621 - Falling asleep on Michael. - Oh. 321 00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:58,875 Guilty conscience. 322 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,160 Oh, leave her alone. 323 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,775 You want anything to eat? 324 00:22:06,430 --> 00:22:07,968 They got eggs. 325 00:22:08,143 --> 00:22:10,440 They've got everything down there. 326 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,219 It's unbelievable. 327 00:22:14,233 --> 00:22:16,327 I'll just have eggs. 328 00:22:17,592 --> 00:22:20,340 Three, four, whatever's left. 329 00:22:20,639 --> 00:22:23,439 Just sling 'em in the microwave, and I'll mash them up. 330 00:22:24,275 --> 00:22:27,303 I hear that's how they serve them at Buckingham Palace. 331 00:22:49,735 --> 00:22:51,540 That was quite a night last night. 332 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:52,900 Yeah, it was good. 333 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,860 Yeah I'm feeling a bit worse for wear, this morning. 334 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:57,180 HE CHUCKLES 335 00:22:58,630 --> 00:23:01,124 Like being at a stag do, or something. 336 00:23:02,303 --> 00:23:04,763 Yeah, crazy days, crazy days. 337 00:23:06,065 --> 00:23:08,069 No, I was going to say, erm... 338 00:23:09,975 --> 00:23:12,820 You know, they put dental floss in all the bathrooms. 339 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:14,176 Have you seen that? 340 00:23:14,817 --> 00:23:18,949 I mean, who's got time to floss between every tooth? 341 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:22,083 Do they even know how many teeth I've got? 342 00:23:23,173 --> 00:23:27,444 There was a thing on 5 Live about it, was very funny. 343 00:23:27,608 --> 00:23:30,340 - Yeah? - Yeah, yeah, I don't know, I mean, it's... 344 00:23:30,708 --> 00:23:32,081 Must be something in it. 345 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:39,879 Pauline's off. 346 00:23:41,949 --> 00:23:43,302 Going somewhere nice? 347 00:23:43,363 --> 00:23:45,246 Just getting the paper for my grandad. 348 00:23:46,445 --> 00:23:48,620 Oh, right. Oh, cool. Yeah. Nice. 349 00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,407 It used to be my dad's thing, getting the paper in the morning. 350 00:23:51,467 --> 00:23:54,548 Right, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, make sense. 351 00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:59,807 Yeah, luckily I had some paracetamol in the car for the hangover. 352 00:23:59,868 --> 00:24:01,774 - Oh, good. - Yeah, I was a bit... 353 00:24:01,835 --> 00:24:03,893 Yeah, I was quite drunk last night. 354 00:24:04,550 --> 00:24:09,000 Yeah, I don't remember anything I did, so, 355 00:24:09,571 --> 00:24:14,396 I hope I didn't do anything too silly, or you know, 356 00:24:14,704 --> 00:24:17,530 inappropriate, or upsetting... 357 00:24:17,591 --> 00:24:18,831 HE CHUCKLES 358 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,990 Is it all right if I shut my door, mate? 359 00:24:22,051 --> 00:24:24,520 Yeah, yeah, of course. No worries, no worries. 360 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:24,100 - Do you want any breakfast, Derek? - No, I'm good, mate. 361 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,223 I'm going to make myself some 362 00:25:26,715 --> 00:25:29,011 porridge, with almond milk. 363 00:25:29,470 --> 00:25:30,738 Wow! 364 00:25:31,038 --> 00:25:32,238 Yeah. 365 00:25:33,042 --> 00:25:35,122 That's so vegan! 366 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,004 Yeah, really fucking vegan. 367 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:44,776 Can I just say, Derek, 368 00:25:45,571 --> 00:25:50,374 you're one of the kindest men I've ever come across in the history of the whole wide world. 369 00:25:52,099 --> 00:25:53,359 Thanks, Kelly. 370 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:55,320 It's OK. 371 00:25:57,840 --> 00:25:59,599 I think you're really nice, as well. 372 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:01,680 Oh... 373 00:26:03,156 --> 00:26:04,576 Thanks, Derek. 374 00:26:07,099 --> 00:26:09,680 I feel like I could cry for 100 years. 375 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:18,960 Oh... 376 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:24,060 Jason's gone off to get the paper. 377 00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:28,620 - Good, yeah. Reggie would wanted that. - Excellent. 378 00:26:29,304 --> 00:26:31,645 - Saves me the journey. - Yeah. 379 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:41,212 Did Jason say anything to you about last night? 380 00:26:42,048 --> 00:26:43,648 No, nothing, so... 381 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:47,640 I just fell asleep on you. 382 00:26:49,158 --> 00:26:52,489 Yeah, well, no wonder, we all had champagne. 383 00:26:53,306 --> 00:26:54,540 I know. 384 00:26:54,711 --> 00:26:55,742 SHE CHUCKLES 385 00:26:55,803 --> 00:26:58,549 You never usually get more than, like, a glass, do you? 386 00:26:58,610 --> 00:26:59,877 - If that. 387 00:26:59,938 --> 00:27:01,980 Yeah, yeah, by the time the bottle's gone round, 388 00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,887 can sometimes be a lot less than that, can't it, yeah. 389 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:09,800 Bit weird, maybe. 390 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:14,566 Doing that in front of Jason, and in front of Dave's parents. 391 00:27:14,887 --> 00:27:17,301 I'm sure they didn't think anything of it. 392 00:27:17,394 --> 00:27:19,982 Well, I just fell asleep on your shoulder. 393 00:27:20,328 --> 00:27:21,555 Yeah. 394 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:24,941 I was just having a nice time. 395 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:29,616 Doesn't make me a bad person. 396 00:27:31,908 --> 00:27:35,088 Oh, no, of course not! 397 00:27:35,149 --> 00:27:38,004 - Cath! Do you remember the lakes? - Oh, yeah. 398 00:27:39,812 --> 00:27:42,602 Well, Mum and Dad would be having a go at me, wouldn't they? 399 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:44,263 I was such an annoying kid. 400 00:27:45,946 --> 00:27:47,407 Such a fat fuck. 401 00:27:48,699 --> 00:27:52,340 And you'd be like, "Leave Derek alone!" Wouldn't you? 402 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:55,260 Well you'd try and sort of hide me in your room, 403 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:56,900 - until Mum had calmed down. - Yeah. 404 00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:58,263 - Yeah. - Come here. 405 00:27:58,783 --> 00:28:01,340 Oh, let me just... 406 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:03,385 - I love you so much. - Oh... 407 00:28:03,836 --> 00:28:07,713 - I don't know what I'd do without you. - You OK, love. 408 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,753 Do your deep breaths. 409 00:28:11,938 --> 00:28:14,125 I'm trying, but I'm starting to panic. 410 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:20,720 Right, then. Porridge! With almond milk! 411 00:28:21,220 --> 00:28:22,442 I love almonds! 412 00:28:22,503 --> 00:28:24,315 I want to make love to an almond! 413 00:28:24,376 --> 00:28:25,091 HE LAUGHS 414 00:28:25,152 --> 00:28:27,249 Derek, you're so daft. 415 00:28:28,932 --> 00:28:31,253 - You fell asleep on Michael. - Oh, did I? 416 00:28:31,314 --> 00:28:33,590 I thought you looked lovely together. 417 00:28:33,651 --> 00:28:36,649 And even though you're both sort of like older people, 418 00:28:36,710 --> 00:28:40,608 and you were both sort of like on each other, it wasn't even gross. 419 00:28:48,628 --> 00:28:53,228 Synced & corrected by minouhse www.addic7ed.com 420 00:28:53,278 --> 00:28:57,828 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 29583

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