All language subtitles for Mum s03e01 Monday.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:37,477 --> 00:00:39,017 Oh, Christ. 2 00:00:41,550 --> 00:00:43,850 - Hello? - Hi! 3 00:00:43,997 --> 00:00:46,797 Sorry to keep you waiting. I was by the pool. 4 00:00:48,077 --> 00:00:49,957 - How was your journey? - Oh, fine. 5 00:00:50,018 --> 00:00:51,992 Bit of trouble on the M25, but... 6 00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:54,817 I was wondering where you'd got to, as I was sitting by the pool. 7 00:00:54,877 --> 00:00:57,377 Oh, sorry, Jason texted Derek to let him know. 8 00:00:57,437 --> 00:00:58,417 No, it's fine. 9 00:00:58,477 --> 00:01:01,651 I was just worried about you, as I was sitting by the pool. 10 00:01:02,359 --> 00:01:03,559 Oh. 11 00:01:04,717 --> 00:01:06,296 It's got a pool. 12 00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:07,542 Right. 13 00:01:07,603 --> 00:01:08,777 ALL SHOUTING 14 00:01:08,837 --> 00:01:11,115 Oh, sorry, love. Come on. 15 00:01:12,902 --> 00:01:14,360 Hello. 16 00:01:14,637 --> 00:01:18,057 - It's amazing. - Yeah, this is incredible. 17 00:01:18,117 --> 00:01:19,777 Thanks for inviting us, Pauline. 18 00:01:19,979 --> 00:01:22,097 Well, it's just got the three reception rooms 19 00:01:22,157 --> 00:01:25,657 and the one swimming pool and the 4.5 acres of grounds, but... 20 00:01:25,717 --> 00:01:26,937 it'll do! 21 00:01:26,997 --> 00:01:28,412 This way. 22 00:01:29,317 --> 00:01:30,763 Gravel. 23 00:01:31,343 --> 00:01:32,543 Yeah. 24 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:36,510 Welcome. 25 00:01:37,277 --> 00:01:38,457 Oh! 26 00:01:38,517 --> 00:01:41,917 - Here's the birthday boy. - Here she is. Big sis! 27 00:01:43,997 --> 00:01:46,277 Welcome to our little home for the week. 28 00:01:46,338 --> 00:01:47,667 Shoes. 29 00:01:48,077 --> 00:01:49,577 Yep. 30 00:01:49,637 --> 00:01:52,497 Wow, look at this place! 31 00:01:52,557 --> 00:01:54,057 Shoes. 32 00:01:54,117 --> 00:01:57,648 Yes. Not a bad life, just been sitting by a roaring fire 33 00:01:57,709 --> 00:02:00,149 and reading a newspaper. 34 00:02:01,837 --> 00:02:03,097 Champagne, everyone? 35 00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:05,053 Oh, wow. Uh, yeah. 36 00:02:05,114 --> 00:02:07,057 - Go on, then. - Yeah. 37 00:02:07,125 --> 00:02:08,845 We've just got the 96 bottles. 38 00:02:10,317 --> 00:02:13,497 Shall we use the plain flutes or the crystal? 39 00:02:13,557 --> 00:02:15,297 I hate having to choose. 40 00:02:15,357 --> 00:02:18,732 Well, I won't be having any champagne, so... 41 00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:22,712 - I'm on antibiotics, aren't I? - Yeah. 42 00:02:22,773 --> 00:02:24,033 Are you, love? 43 00:02:24,197 --> 00:02:25,497 Yeah. 44 00:02:25,557 --> 00:02:28,177 I'm on antibiotics, which means I can't drink alcohol. 45 00:02:28,237 --> 00:02:31,937 And also, I'm always tired and I can't lift anything. 46 00:02:32,184 --> 00:02:33,697 And in the mornings, I'm sick. 47 00:02:33,757 --> 00:02:35,057 And for the rest of the day, 48 00:02:35,117 --> 00:02:38,817 I have to keep eating and drinking water or I just keep being sick. 49 00:02:38,877 --> 00:02:42,237 - And you're a little bit teary, aren't you? - Yeah. 50 00:02:43,437 --> 00:02:45,195 Just a little bit, but I... 51 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,514 Let's not talk about it. 52 00:02:49,477 --> 00:02:51,577 They're really strong antibiotics. 53 00:02:54,877 --> 00:02:56,337 - Shall we... - Yes. 54 00:02:56,397 --> 00:02:59,125 Well, if you'd like to come this way, we'll begin the tour. 55 00:02:59,997 --> 00:03:03,657 Oh, this hallway is nearly as big as my house. 56 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,190 Yes, but it feels bigger. 57 00:03:05,296 --> 00:03:07,016 Should you be carrying that? 58 00:03:09,997 --> 00:03:11,448 This is the dining room. 59 00:03:11,839 --> 00:03:14,096 Oh, yeah, it's lovely. 60 00:03:14,343 --> 00:03:15,697 - Oh. - Don't. 61 00:03:15,757 --> 00:03:17,337 Oh, wow, babe. 62 00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:18,897 Look at the bottle. 63 00:03:18,957 --> 00:03:21,377 That's not a bottle, babe. That's a decanter. 64 00:03:21,437 --> 00:03:23,017 Piano, obviously. 65 00:03:23,077 --> 00:03:24,332 Very nice. 66 00:03:24,629 --> 00:03:26,766 You can play the piano, can't you? 67 00:03:28,378 --> 00:03:30,253 It's pronounced pi-ah-no. 68 00:03:30,329 --> 00:03:31,817 This is quite a good space 69 00:03:31,877 --> 00:03:35,765 if you want to read a broad sheet or check the Ftse 100 index. 70 00:03:35,826 --> 00:03:37,747 Well, that's good to know. 71 00:03:38,477 --> 00:03:43,017 65 inches, 4k, surround sound, Wi-Fi, Sky plus, 72 00:03:43,077 --> 00:03:45,989 and if you ask it nicely, it'll make you a latte. 73 00:03:46,050 --> 00:03:47,030 Ha. 74 00:03:47,237 --> 00:03:49,137 And if you're nice to the telly, it'll make you... 75 00:03:49,197 --> 00:03:50,681 - I've done it. - Right. 76 00:03:51,357 --> 00:03:54,123 The kitchen. It's got an island. 77 00:03:54,431 --> 00:03:56,257 Bay window. 78 00:03:56,317 --> 00:03:57,994 Hand spray pull-out rinse. 79 00:04:02,874 --> 00:04:03,818 Wow. 80 00:04:04,087 --> 00:04:05,467 Yes. 81 00:04:05,528 --> 00:04:08,534 - Oh, wow. - Bloody hell! 82 00:04:08,628 --> 00:04:12,569 It's just got the two dishwashers, ice machine, larder through there. 83 00:04:13,208 --> 00:04:16,274 I don't suppose you've ever had a larder, have you, Cathy? 84 00:04:17,223 --> 00:04:18,243 No. 85 00:04:18,304 --> 00:04:19,506 No. 86 00:04:20,437 --> 00:04:21,977 Well, I don't know about you guys, 87 00:04:22,037 --> 00:04:24,217 - but I'm going to have a dip in the pool. - Oh, my God. 88 00:04:24,277 --> 00:04:25,857 Derek will help you with your luggage 89 00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:27,943 and once I've dried off, I'll accompany you to your rooms. 90 00:04:28,004 --> 00:04:30,504 - Thanks, Pauline. - Thanks, Pauline! 91 00:04:30,757 --> 00:04:33,297 Oh, it's... It's really lovely, Pauline. 92 00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:35,418 Thanks so much for inviting us. 93 00:04:35,968 --> 00:04:37,168 It's quite all right. 94 00:04:47,277 --> 00:04:49,423 I love a swimming pool in the spring. 95 00:04:51,477 --> 00:04:52,537 So fresh! 96 00:04:52,597 --> 00:04:53,797 Lovely and fresh. 97 00:04:57,477 --> 00:04:58,857 I'll go in later. 98 00:04:58,917 --> 00:05:00,234 Good idea. 99 00:05:01,798 --> 00:05:03,438 PHONE DINGS 100 00:05:37,184 --> 00:05:41,784 Synced & corrected by minouhse www.addic7ed.com 101 00:05:55,590 --> 00:06:00,156 _ 102 00:06:01,775 --> 00:06:03,946 - Hello? - Michael! 103 00:06:05,026 --> 00:06:06,337 I'm in here, mate. 104 00:06:06,397 --> 00:06:08,657 Sorry, just turn this off. 105 00:06:08,717 --> 00:06:10,977 I've been listening to, er... 106 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,497 Radio 4. 107 00:06:12,557 --> 00:06:13,785 Oh, OK. 108 00:06:14,505 --> 00:06:17,341 It's a radio station, but they don't play music and you can't phone in. 109 00:06:17,402 --> 00:06:19,532 Yeah. I have it on in the car. 110 00:06:21,196 --> 00:06:22,396 I can see that. 111 00:06:27,037 --> 00:06:29,857 - Thanks for coming. - Thanks for inviting me. 112 00:06:29,917 --> 00:06:31,197 - It's quite a house. - Yeah. 113 00:06:39,837 --> 00:06:42,257 So, you'll be residing in Chestnut, Cathy. 114 00:06:42,317 --> 00:06:44,217 It's not one of the premier rooms, but 115 00:06:44,277 --> 00:06:46,157 don't worry, it's very you. 116 00:06:49,312 --> 00:06:50,712 Aw! 117 00:06:52,157 --> 00:06:54,012 A little bed for a little Cathy. 118 00:06:54,157 --> 00:06:56,463 Thanks, that's really thoughtful. 119 00:06:56,524 --> 00:06:58,373 Will you actually fit in that? 120 00:06:58,795 --> 00:07:00,144 Just about. 121 00:07:00,757 --> 00:07:02,657 Aw, that's so cute. 122 00:07:02,717 --> 00:07:04,057 She's such a tiny person. 123 00:07:04,117 --> 00:07:07,200 Only things to point out are, don't touch the Lego. 124 00:07:07,637 --> 00:07:08,817 I won't. 125 00:07:09,352 --> 00:07:10,552 Promise? 126 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:14,816 - Yeah. - No smoking indoors, and... 127 00:07:15,397 --> 00:07:18,082 - swan. - Oh, yeah. Wow. 128 00:07:19,015 --> 00:07:20,289 Never seen that before. 129 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,396 Thought not. 130 00:07:22,757 --> 00:07:24,652 If you'd like to follow me. 131 00:07:24,957 --> 00:07:27,657 There's a room down here we're keeping for a party 132 00:07:27,717 --> 00:07:32,163 on Saturday, so you'll be residing down in the South wing. 133 00:07:34,877 --> 00:07:37,305 - Oh, my God. - Welcome to your room. 134 00:07:37,637 --> 00:07:39,177 It's got en en-suite. 135 00:07:39,237 --> 00:07:41,437 I'll be next door, so just give me a shout. 136 00:07:43,037 --> 00:07:44,237 Thanks, Pauline! 137 00:07:50,717 --> 00:07:53,277 - That's a nice one. - Show me. 138 00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:58,302 - It's a nice one, isn't it? - Yeah, it is a nice one. 139 00:08:06,574 --> 00:08:07,794 It's unbelievable. 140 00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:09,856 - And that's just setting one. - Jesus. 141 00:08:09,917 --> 00:08:11,996 Whereas, if you really to fuck something up... 142 00:08:15,736 --> 00:08:17,917 - Oh, my God. - It's vicious! 143 00:08:19,797 --> 00:08:22,357 - Oh, I bet it makes a lovely dough. - What's that? 144 00:08:24,277 --> 00:08:27,137 - I bet it makes a lovely dough. - Oh, yeah, mate. Springy as fuck. 145 00:08:27,331 --> 00:08:28,613 Right. 146 00:08:29,896 --> 00:08:31,096 Here it is. 147 00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,039 Just a small diamond. 148 00:08:40,197 --> 00:08:42,239 - You going to do it, then? - Yeah. 149 00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:45,273 WHISPERING: - Cost me 8,900. 150 00:08:48,037 --> 00:08:52,316 Deary me. Why are you spending 8,900 on a ring? 151 00:08:56,251 --> 00:08:58,095 That's how much it cost. 152 00:08:58,665 --> 00:09:01,281 - Look at the en-suite, babe. - Is there anything we can nick? 153 00:09:01,342 --> 00:09:02,857 Power shower. 154 00:09:03,135 --> 00:09:05,437 - Is it big enough? - Erm... 155 00:09:13,077 --> 00:09:16,201 - That feels all right. - Little bit tight, maybe, but... 156 00:09:16,262 --> 00:09:18,137 No, it's all right. 157 00:09:18,197 --> 00:09:19,778 What about when you wash your bum? 158 00:09:19,839 --> 00:09:21,119 Erm... 159 00:09:25,917 --> 00:09:28,148 - Good for you? - Yeah, good for me. 160 00:09:28,357 --> 00:09:30,774 - Good for you? - Yeah. 161 00:09:32,688 --> 00:09:34,008 Teeth? 162 00:09:35,237 --> 00:09:37,150 Yeah, teeth should be all right. 163 00:09:37,717 --> 00:09:38,917 Erm... 164 00:09:41,877 --> 00:09:44,328 You know you don't have to wash your bum like that. 165 00:09:48,472 --> 00:09:50,417 I want to wash my bum like that. 166 00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:55,379 That's quite a chandelier. 167 00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:00,656 Yeah, I was thinking I might nick it and put it in my house. 168 00:10:00,717 --> 00:10:01,917 It would fit right in. 169 00:10:02,946 --> 00:10:05,102 What do you think of my bedroom? 170 00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:11,717 Oh, an astronaut. 171 00:10:12,629 --> 00:10:14,317 You do love astronauts. 172 00:10:15,433 --> 00:10:17,639 Yeah, I'm going to be one when I grow up. 173 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:20,017 But do you know what I love more than astronauts? 174 00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:21,357 Lego? 175 00:10:25,837 --> 00:10:28,641 Oh, that excites me in a way no furniture should. 176 00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:31,734 And a tiny, single bed. 177 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:35,596 I did ask for a matchbox, but this was all they had. 178 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:38,400 I... 179 00:10:40,197 --> 00:10:42,473 Oh. Yeah, thanks. 180 00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:45,381 And... 181 00:10:46,432 --> 00:10:48,017 Oh. Yep. 182 00:10:48,077 --> 00:10:50,257 Was all a bit of a rush this morning, wasn't it? 183 00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,601 Yeah. 184 00:10:52,025 --> 00:10:54,273 Did you get home before Jason got there? 185 00:10:54,334 --> 00:10:55,534 Yeah, yeah. 186 00:10:57,557 --> 00:10:59,180 No, it was, um... 187 00:11:01,437 --> 00:11:02,885 It was nice. 188 00:11:04,797 --> 00:11:06,817 I mean, the film was bollocks, but... 189 00:11:06,877 --> 00:11:08,930 - Yeah, they always are. - It's... 190 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:10,977 nice to go to the cinema. 191 00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:12,962 Yeah. And then... 192 00:11:14,143 --> 00:11:15,343 Yeah. 193 00:11:16,791 --> 00:11:18,892 - Afterwards. - Yeah. 194 00:11:21,239 --> 00:11:24,697 Yeah, no, we should probably do it again at some point. 195 00:11:24,757 --> 00:11:26,049 Oh, God, yeah. 196 00:11:26,592 --> 00:11:28,672 Consider that your free trial. 197 00:11:30,317 --> 00:11:32,417 Now I'm on permanent standby. 198 00:11:32,477 --> 00:11:36,017 Anything you want to do, no matter how depraved... 199 00:11:36,077 --> 00:11:37,977 - Oh, my God... - INDISTINCT 200 00:11:38,037 --> 00:11:39,397 I don't want Jason to... 201 00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,168 Oh, no, of course not. 202 00:11:42,489 --> 00:11:43,897 I'll, um... 203 00:11:43,957 --> 00:11:45,632 I'd better get to my room. 204 00:11:45,917 --> 00:11:47,297 I'm in Willow, apparently. 205 00:11:47,357 --> 00:11:49,017 Oh. Very nice. 206 00:11:49,365 --> 00:11:50,827 My favourite tree. 207 00:11:53,037 --> 00:11:54,363 Tastes delicious. 208 00:11:59,330 --> 00:12:00,717 Hi, Michael. 209 00:12:01,717 --> 00:12:03,376 - Isn't it big? - Yeah, 210 00:12:03,437 --> 00:12:06,078 just going to go and look for my room. 211 00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:09,792 If you don't hear from me in the next hour or so, send out a search party. 212 00:12:12,597 --> 00:12:14,197 Oh. 213 00:12:14,797 --> 00:12:16,257 Wow. 214 00:12:16,317 --> 00:12:17,729 How funny. 215 00:12:18,715 --> 00:12:19,915 Thanks. 216 00:12:22,317 --> 00:12:24,617 Michael just made a funny joke. 217 00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:25,897 Oh, well done, mate. 218 00:12:25,957 --> 00:12:28,297 Yeah. It was really witty. 219 00:12:28,357 --> 00:12:30,097 About a search party. 220 00:12:30,157 --> 00:12:32,737 - Oh, sounds great. - Yeah. 221 00:12:32,797 --> 00:12:33,977 Thanks, Michael. 222 00:12:34,037 --> 00:12:36,717 We're going to be laughing about that all afternoon. 223 00:12:39,917 --> 00:12:42,559 - Not a bad house, is it, Jason, mate? - Yeah, it's amazing. 224 00:12:42,620 --> 00:12:45,057 I feel like Pauline must have spent a fortune hiring it... 225 00:12:45,117 --> 00:12:47,280 Are you coming, Mum? They're doing champagne and nibbles. 226 00:12:47,341 --> 00:12:49,097 Yeah, in a minute. 227 00:12:49,157 --> 00:12:51,069 I wonder what the nibbles are going to be. 228 00:12:51,130 --> 00:12:53,130 It's got to be, like, nuts or something. 229 00:12:54,637 --> 00:12:56,088 What was Michael's joke? 230 00:13:33,954 --> 00:13:35,623 You can smell the cows. 231 00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:39,477 Hundreds of them. 232 00:13:46,557 --> 00:13:49,197 - Can you smell the cows? - Take this. 233 00:13:50,357 --> 00:13:53,870 - And them. - All I can smell is cows. 234 00:13:54,031 --> 00:13:57,117 Take that, a minute. And that. 235 00:13:58,197 --> 00:13:59,397 Just take them. 236 00:14:00,818 --> 00:14:02,757 What's this doing in here? 237 00:14:03,477 --> 00:14:05,374 I didn't know if they'd have one. 238 00:14:05,517 --> 00:14:09,057 65 inches, 4k, surround sound, Wi-Fi, Sky Plus 239 00:14:09,124 --> 00:14:11,413 - and if you ask it nicely... - Nan and Grandad are here. 240 00:14:11,474 --> 00:14:12,712 Oh, great. 241 00:14:13,717 --> 00:14:16,355 - Oh, right, yeah. Well, we should, uh... - What does it do? 242 00:14:16,805 --> 00:14:18,467 Oh, nothing. Doesn't matter. 243 00:14:18,709 --> 00:14:21,058 No, go on. What does it do if you ask it nicely? 244 00:14:21,119 --> 00:14:23,429 No, it doesn't matter, mate. 245 00:14:23,490 --> 00:14:26,135 - It's a, it's a... forget about it. - Oh, go on, please. 246 00:14:28,442 --> 00:14:29,852 It, uh... 247 00:14:31,157 --> 00:14:32,477 it makes you a latte. 248 00:14:38,899 --> 00:14:40,499 That's really funny. 249 00:14:41,601 --> 00:14:42,811 Well, thanks. 250 00:14:43,115 --> 00:14:44,315 Wow. 251 00:14:45,798 --> 00:14:47,697 - Did you actually find that funny? - Yeah! 252 00:14:47,757 --> 00:14:50,151 Of course, it's hilarious! 253 00:14:50,737 --> 00:14:51,937 OK. 254 00:14:52,477 --> 00:14:54,217 Well, I came up with it yesterday. 255 00:14:54,277 --> 00:14:56,217 The fellow who owns this place was showing us around, 256 00:14:56,277 --> 00:14:58,029 saying what the telly can do and I just came out with it. 257 00:14:58,090 --> 00:14:59,470 - Wow! - Yeah. 258 00:14:59,568 --> 00:15:01,397 I didn't even know I was saying it. 259 00:15:02,604 --> 00:15:05,731 - That's really funny, Derek. - Thanks, Kelly. 260 00:15:05,930 --> 00:15:07,577 Oh, there's a fly now. 261 00:15:07,883 --> 00:15:09,257 Hello, Nan! Grandad! 262 00:15:09,420 --> 00:15:11,457 Hi, Reg. Hi, Maureen. 263 00:15:11,517 --> 00:15:14,057 - I'm thirsty. - Oh, dear. 264 00:15:14,117 --> 00:15:16,092 She's had too many Pringles. 265 00:15:16,153 --> 00:15:18,548 I've had too many Pringles, Cathy. 266 00:15:18,837 --> 00:15:20,788 Stupid how many Pringles I've had. 267 00:15:20,849 --> 00:15:22,617 Hello, everyone! 268 00:15:22,677 --> 00:15:27,034 - This is Kumar, the owner of the house. - Hello, welcome. 269 00:15:27,237 --> 00:15:29,100 Hello, nice to meet you. 270 00:15:29,161 --> 00:15:31,656 - You've got such a lovely home. - Thank you. 271 00:15:31,717 --> 00:15:34,297 But Kumar and his family are sadly residing 272 00:15:34,357 --> 00:15:36,097 at the back of the house, aren't you? 273 00:15:36,157 --> 00:15:37,457 Yes, just during the rental period. 274 00:15:37,517 --> 00:15:40,817 The kids are away at boarding school, so it's just the two of us. 275 00:15:40,877 --> 00:15:43,261 It's not so nice back there, is it? 276 00:15:43,581 --> 00:15:45,257 It's cosy. 277 00:15:45,317 --> 00:15:47,857 But you need the money, don't you? From the rental? 278 00:15:47,917 --> 00:15:49,121 Yeah. 279 00:15:50,197 --> 00:15:51,857 - Should I show you the...? - Did I mention the size 280 00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:53,577 of my divorce settlement? 281 00:15:53,637 --> 00:15:54,837 - You did, yes. - Yes. 282 00:15:56,277 --> 00:15:58,348 - I'll show you the barbecue. - Reg. 283 00:15:58,981 --> 00:16:00,188 Kumar. 284 00:16:02,199 --> 00:16:04,614 - Big, isn't it? - Yeah. 285 00:16:06,557 --> 00:16:09,093 - You got Wi-Fi? - We do, yes. 286 00:16:10,357 --> 00:16:11,717 They've got Wi-Fi! 287 00:16:12,422 --> 00:16:13,668 Yeah. 288 00:16:14,423 --> 00:16:15,646 Wi-Fi. 289 00:16:20,315 --> 00:16:21,574 My God. 290 00:16:23,180 --> 00:16:25,377 Was your towel shaped like a swan? 291 00:16:25,437 --> 00:16:27,068 - Yeah. - Yeah? 292 00:16:27,637 --> 00:16:30,172 It's genuinely unbelievable. 293 00:16:30,997 --> 00:16:34,238 - IN THE BACKGROUND: - I've just been getting a latte from the telly! 294 00:16:35,797 --> 00:16:38,897 - How's everything at the flat? - It's good, yeah. 295 00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:43,009 There's a leak from our bath going into the flat downstairs, but... 296 00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:45,215 we're pretending it's not, so it should be fine. 297 00:16:46,437 --> 00:16:47,637 Right. 298 00:16:50,478 --> 00:16:53,038 I'm OK, I just keep crying for no reason. 299 00:16:57,957 --> 00:16:59,870 How much of it can we eat? 300 00:17:00,010 --> 00:17:02,277 All of it, just help yourselves. 301 00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,117 What's wrong with it? 302 00:17:04,277 --> 00:17:05,847 There's nothing wrong with it. 303 00:17:05,908 --> 00:17:09,750 - We just got some food for everyone to share. - Why are you pawning it off on us? 304 00:17:10,117 --> 00:17:11,937 - And how big is the pool? - It's 12m. 305 00:17:11,997 --> 00:17:13,457 - 12? - Yeah. 306 00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:14,899 Mm. 307 00:17:15,517 --> 00:17:18,857 And it's... what? Was it 5.5 acres of land? 308 00:17:18,917 --> 00:17:20,617 Uh, 4.5, yeah. 309 00:17:20,677 --> 00:17:22,005 Oh, 4.5? 310 00:17:22,597 --> 00:17:23,850 Ohh. 311 00:17:25,206 --> 00:17:26,406 Oh, OK. 312 00:17:28,597 --> 00:17:30,177 Sorry, I was just leaning on my new car. 313 00:17:30,237 --> 00:17:32,577 - I'll show you where the barbecue is. - If you could. 314 00:17:33,797 --> 00:17:37,739 I meant to say, I was a bit late, because I had to stop for a pee. 315 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,120 Of course I did. 316 00:17:43,357 --> 00:17:45,377 How was it getting your nan across the gravel? 317 00:17:45,437 --> 00:17:47,297 I'm really sorry, I should have helped. 318 00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:49,191 Didn't need your help, mate. 319 00:17:49,637 --> 00:17:52,457 I think I might pop upstairs and... 320 00:17:52,517 --> 00:17:54,061 finish my unpacking. 321 00:17:54,122 --> 00:17:56,814 - Oh, it's all glamour with you. - Yeah. 322 00:17:58,270 --> 00:17:59,570 Um... 323 00:18:04,051 --> 00:18:05,475 England. 324 00:18:05,917 --> 00:18:07,129 Yes. 325 00:18:07,557 --> 00:18:08,757 It's England all right. 326 00:18:09,643 --> 00:18:11,397 You wouldn't get this in France. 327 00:18:13,541 --> 00:18:14,887 I'll tell you what, 328 00:18:14,955 --> 00:18:16,712 and this is no exaggeration, 329 00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:19,657 I'd rather be dead than be French. 330 00:18:19,928 --> 00:18:22,057 - I hate the Dutch. - Oh, yeah, the Dutch. 331 00:18:22,117 --> 00:18:24,257 I mean, what do they even do all day? 332 00:18:24,317 --> 00:18:27,697 You know the thing about the Dutch? No manners. 333 00:18:27,757 --> 00:18:29,033 Is that right? 334 00:18:29,477 --> 00:18:32,377 We did a house move for this Dutch bird. She offered us a cup of tea 335 00:18:32,437 --> 00:18:34,091 and she never even made it. 336 00:18:34,997 --> 00:18:36,537 - You're kidding me? - No. 337 00:18:36,597 --> 00:18:38,253 It's in their DNA. 338 00:18:38,597 --> 00:18:41,824 If I discovered I was even a quarter Dutch I'd be out of here. 339 00:18:42,437 --> 00:18:43,776 - Really? - Yeah. 340 00:18:43,837 --> 00:18:47,337 Pills, cyanide, revolver, I wouldn't take my chances. 341 00:18:47,397 --> 00:18:49,025 I'd completely erase myself. 342 00:18:50,837 --> 00:18:53,642 - Well, I'm sorry to hear that. - Well... 343 00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:58,791 Hm. 344 00:18:59,349 --> 00:19:01,521 Pauline's on good form, isn't she? 345 00:19:02,122 --> 00:19:04,537 I think this is going to be an interesting week. 346 00:19:04,846 --> 00:19:07,977 Oh, God, yeah. Fascinating, yeah. 347 00:19:08,038 --> 00:19:10,337 No, I'm really interested. 348 00:19:10,397 --> 00:19:12,737 It will be really interesting to, sort of, collate all the facts 349 00:19:12,797 --> 00:19:14,457 and figures and then go from there with a view 350 00:19:14,517 --> 00:19:15,957 to what the findings are. 351 00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:29,352 CATHY CLEARS HER THROAT Yeah. 352 00:19:36,293 --> 00:19:39,053 I'm totally on my period at the moment. 353 00:19:40,690 --> 00:19:42,330 Oh, are you? 354 00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:45,412 Yeah. 355 00:19:49,699 --> 00:19:51,777 Apparently there's a whole other area out the back, 356 00:19:51,837 --> 00:19:54,882 where the family who own it live while they're renting it out. 357 00:19:55,303 --> 00:19:59,009 Oh, what a place to hire for your birthday. 358 00:19:59,540 --> 00:20:02,983 - I hate to think what they paid for it. - Yeah. 359 00:20:03,437 --> 00:20:05,882 - My dad would have loved it here. - Oh, yeah. 360 00:20:06,837 --> 00:20:09,493 He would have been straight out into that swimming pool, wouldn't he? 361 00:20:09,554 --> 00:20:10,754 Um... 362 00:20:11,997 --> 00:20:14,157 no, I don't think so, mate. 363 00:20:15,197 --> 00:20:16,397 No? 364 00:20:17,197 --> 00:20:18,457 Well... 365 00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:21,297 your dad would have found it funny, though. 366 00:20:21,357 --> 00:20:24,257 The chandeliers, the fancy furniture. 367 00:20:24,465 --> 00:20:27,025 No, I don't think so actually. 368 00:20:30,376 --> 00:20:31,675 Why did you come? 369 00:20:33,957 --> 00:20:37,097 - It's Derek's birthday. - Yeah, yeah. 370 00:20:37,157 --> 00:20:38,684 You know, he invited me. 371 00:20:39,517 --> 00:20:42,797 I've moved into a more consultancy role at work, haven't I? So... 372 00:20:43,874 --> 00:20:45,594 bit easier to take time off. 373 00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:50,077 - I think they're trying to get rid of me. - Why aren't you in Spain? 374 00:20:53,528 --> 00:20:54,768 I'm just not. 375 00:20:55,790 --> 00:20:57,117 OK. 376 00:20:59,766 --> 00:21:03,249 - Mind if I sit by the fire? - Yeah, great. Do what you want, mate. 377 00:21:03,376 --> 00:21:04,636 Thanks. 378 00:21:23,477 --> 00:21:27,400 And the long hours, you'd always feel like you're at work. 379 00:21:28,635 --> 00:21:31,044 And I think I'd really miss gravity. 380 00:21:31,105 --> 00:21:33,577 I'd get so hot in the space suit. 381 00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:35,475 Do you know what I mean? 382 00:21:35,757 --> 00:21:37,717 Should we head downstairs, love? 383 00:21:37,978 --> 00:21:39,538 Um... 384 00:21:43,036 --> 00:21:45,816 one of my friends from Sainsbury's, 385 00:21:46,134 --> 00:21:48,574 who you don't know, she wasn't at my birthday... 386 00:21:49,705 --> 00:21:52,498 she's a little bit, sort of, pregnant. 387 00:21:54,677 --> 00:21:57,271 - Oh, uh, OK. - Yeah. 388 00:21:57,373 --> 00:22:02,659 Like, just, like, six weeks, four days or something, 389 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:04,507 something like that and she was asking me 390 00:22:04,568 --> 00:22:07,337 and I said I'd ask you, because you know everything, 391 00:22:07,397 --> 00:22:10,377 you're basically the best person I've ever met, have I told you that? 392 00:22:10,437 --> 00:22:12,516 - You might have mentioned it, yeah. - Yeah. 393 00:22:13,109 --> 00:22:18,180 Well, she was wondering whether, when you were as pregnant as she is, 394 00:22:18,241 --> 00:22:21,046 six weeks, four days or thereabouts... 395 00:22:21,930 --> 00:22:23,977 whether it's normal to get, like... 396 00:22:24,396 --> 00:22:26,696 little pains in your tummy? 397 00:22:29,946 --> 00:22:31,628 How little are they? 398 00:22:31,689 --> 00:22:36,577 They're just little pains, just, sort of, twinges and... 399 00:22:36,637 --> 00:22:39,772 a few little aches down here. 400 00:22:40,916 --> 00:22:43,248 And, and do they make her dizzy? Or... 401 00:22:43,309 --> 00:22:45,947 does she have to sit down when she has them? Or...? 402 00:22:46,008 --> 00:22:47,308 Um... 403 00:22:47,957 --> 00:22:53,219 no, I don't think so. They just sort of twinge a little bit. 404 00:22:56,302 --> 00:22:58,256 I think that sounds pretty normal. 405 00:22:59,584 --> 00:23:01,163 - Yeah? - Yeah. 406 00:23:01,663 --> 00:23:05,335 If they don't hurt too much or don't get any worse. 407 00:23:06,608 --> 00:23:09,497 She's got all these special bits of her body 408 00:23:09,557 --> 00:23:11,640 that she's never really used before. 409 00:23:11,999 --> 00:23:14,755 - Now they're starting to wake up. - Yeah, yeah. 410 00:23:15,193 --> 00:23:17,175 I'll tell her that, then, yeah. 411 00:23:17,678 --> 00:23:18,878 Thanks. 412 00:23:23,614 --> 00:23:24,814 How does she feel? 413 00:23:26,006 --> 00:23:29,233 Um... disgusting, yeah. 414 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:33,097 She just, sort of, feels constantly sick I think and... 415 00:23:33,157 --> 00:23:38,696 sort of like she's the tiredest and ugliest person in the universe. 416 00:23:39,192 --> 00:23:40,508 And like... 417 00:23:40,968 --> 00:23:43,517 she's always been the stupid one. 418 00:23:45,916 --> 00:23:47,796 But now it's getting like... 419 00:23:50,449 --> 00:23:51,899 I don't know. 420 00:23:55,346 --> 00:23:56,751 But is she happy? 421 00:24:03,557 --> 00:24:06,137 Well, if your friend's got any other questions, 422 00:24:06,197 --> 00:24:08,203 - you can always ask me for her. - Yeah. 423 00:24:09,485 --> 00:24:11,017 Thanks, yeah. 424 00:24:11,540 --> 00:24:12,977 I will do. 425 00:24:13,037 --> 00:24:15,657 I'm just going to pop to my room and text her all that info 426 00:24:15,717 --> 00:24:18,484 and then I'm going to get back to dealing with my massive period. 427 00:24:18,545 --> 00:24:19,786 Lovely. 428 00:24:21,797 --> 00:24:23,137 How's Kumar? 429 00:24:23,197 --> 00:24:24,883 Boasting about the house again. 430 00:24:24,944 --> 00:24:26,377 Huh! It's not that good. 431 00:24:26,437 --> 00:24:27,617 I know! 432 00:24:27,677 --> 00:24:30,322 - I know. - What's it got? Like, four acres? 433 00:24:30,383 --> 00:24:31,663 4.5. 434 00:24:32,683 --> 00:24:33,937 Please. 435 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:36,369 He never forgets the point five. 436 00:24:38,397 --> 00:24:40,097 He's got no self-awareness. 437 00:24:40,351 --> 00:24:41,577 Sad really. 438 00:24:41,637 --> 00:24:43,506 We should feel sorry for him. 439 00:24:44,637 --> 00:24:45,997 I don't feel sorry for him. 440 00:24:47,397 --> 00:24:49,277 I want to punch his fucking face. 441 00:24:51,356 --> 00:24:53,787 Is your towel shaped like a swan? 442 00:24:53,848 --> 00:24:55,914 Of course, I insist upon it. 443 00:24:56,357 --> 00:24:58,597 I think I'm going to start doing that at home. 444 00:25:06,634 --> 00:25:08,173 Jason been OK? 445 00:25:08,477 --> 00:25:12,057 - Yeah, yeah we had a nice chat. - I was in such a rush this morning, 446 00:25:12,415 --> 00:25:14,257 I was worried that he might have noticed or... 447 00:25:14,317 --> 00:25:15,557 He didn't say anything. 448 00:25:18,170 --> 00:25:21,042 - You don't think he suspects anything? - Michael, mate. 449 00:25:21,103 --> 00:25:22,377 Have you seen the sofas in here? 450 00:25:22,437 --> 00:25:25,034 - What's that? - They've got piping. 451 00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:28,217 - You're kidding me? - It's another world. 452 00:25:28,298 --> 00:25:30,410 Look at it, mate. Piping. 453 00:25:33,911 --> 00:25:36,731 Mum, come and have a look at the garden. There's a swing. 454 00:25:36,792 --> 00:25:38,792 Oh, lovely, yeah. 455 00:25:43,344 --> 00:25:45,097 And you just turn the gas on. 456 00:25:45,157 --> 00:25:48,817 This actually reminds me of the third time I went to southern Brazil. 457 00:25:48,877 --> 00:25:50,103 Oh, OK. 458 00:25:51,237 --> 00:25:54,177 Have you ever had a churrasco in southern Brazil? 459 00:25:54,237 --> 00:25:57,217 no, I haven't, no. We've, we've been to the north. 460 00:25:57,277 --> 00:25:59,397 - Well, everyone's been to the north. - Yeah. 461 00:26:08,392 --> 00:26:09,677 Lovely loo roll. 462 00:26:11,648 --> 00:26:12,968 It's three ply! 463 00:26:13,877 --> 00:26:16,005 It's three ply! 464 00:26:22,037 --> 00:26:24,060 How am I going to get up the stairs? 465 00:26:35,572 --> 00:26:37,777 I'll get you up the stairs. 466 00:26:37,977 --> 00:26:39,775 Here's the birthday boy! 467 00:26:40,877 --> 00:26:42,577 Oh, bloody hell, champagne! 468 00:26:42,637 --> 00:26:44,457 It's a great house, Pauline, wow. 469 00:26:44,517 --> 00:26:45,537 It'll do. 470 00:26:45,597 --> 00:26:48,871 I was just saying to Marco how Dad would have liked it here. 471 00:26:48,932 --> 00:26:50,514 Oh, God. Yeah, he would have. 472 00:26:50,575 --> 00:26:52,417 He'd have been straight in that pool, wouldn't he? 473 00:26:52,477 --> 00:26:54,657 He would have been straight in there with all his clothes on 474 00:26:54,717 --> 00:26:57,312 and we would have been stood about laughing. 475 00:26:58,557 --> 00:27:01,017 I'd have been in there after him, wouldn't I? 476 00:27:01,077 --> 00:27:02,888 Yeah, yeah, you would have, love. 477 00:27:04,326 --> 00:27:06,226 - Vegetable crusts. - Coming! 478 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:17,160 Synced & corrected by minouhse www.addic7ed.com 479 00:27:17,210 --> 00:27:21,760 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33847

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