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00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:01,680
Are you ready?
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00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:06,740
Ooh, I know you see me standing here.
3
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Do I look good, my dear?
4
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Do I look good today?
5
00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:17,880
Ooh,
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I'm just another kind of girl.
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And you want to see my world.
8
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So come and run.
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Bye.
10
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Bye.
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Bye.
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00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,300
I've never been stranded on a deserted
island.
13
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Neither have you.
14
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Well, if I was and I could only have one
thing, I would way rather have a pair
15
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of socks than a knife.
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Why? One, socks will keep your feet warm
so you don't freeze to death.
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Two, you can stick your hand up a sock
and use it as a puppet to keep yourself
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company. And three, you drop a rock in a
sock and bam, you got yourself a
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swingable weapon.
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How is a rock in a sock a weapon?
21
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Why don't you close your eyes and I'll
show you? I don't want to close my eyes
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and you show me. Why do you always talk?
23
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No, you would not.
24
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I don't know.
25
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I'm not going to close my eyes. You
always talk. I know I'm always going to
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talk. Just listen. One,
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two. Stop it.
28
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Can't we live in a world where socks and
knives coexist peacefully?
29
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Hey, Zoe, there's a delivery guy out
there looking for you.
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Wait. Tell him that a rock and a sock is
not a weapon.
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You don't make any sense. I'm handsome.
I don't have to make sense. You know
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that? Stop talking.
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Zoe Brooks?
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Yeah, sign here.
35
00:02:11,550 --> 00:02:13,050
What am I signing for?
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Ribs.
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Ribs?
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Who sent me ribs?
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Here.
40
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Would you?
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Sure.
42
00:02:28,310 --> 00:02:29,310
Oh, my God.
43
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What?
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Your great -uncle Morris passed away.
45
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I have a great -uncle Morris?
46
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Well, had.
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And he left you some ribs.
48
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That's sweet.
49
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Kinda weird.
50
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Yeah, this is a lot of ribs.
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Uh, you got more than that.
52
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Okay, write down three drops of ammonium
paraffite.
53
00:03:04,490 --> 00:03:06,430
What's the point of making a liquid
candle?
54
00:03:06,790 --> 00:03:11,990
An everlasting... I wish I was
everlasting.
55
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Alright. Here. You light the candle.
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Okay. And I'll videotape the moment for
posterity.
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And... go.
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in there until Sunday. Thank you so
much.
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00:03:52,020 --> 00:03:53,360
But then I need the space back.
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00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,240
I got a big shipment of Tater Pops
coming in Monday morning.
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Oh, I love Tater Pops.
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They're like French fries in ball form.
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You're in ball form?
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Look, why do you have to say the most
ridiculous things? Okay,
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I did not suffer through two years of
cafeteria college for this.
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You see what you do? You guys upset a
lunch lady.
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for period college.
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00:04:20,350 --> 00:04:23,490
Just stop fighting for two seconds and
help Zoe figure out how she's going to
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eat a thousand pounds of ribs before
Monday.
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00:04:26,370 --> 00:04:28,070
What do you guys think about a rib cook
-off?
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00:04:28,650 --> 00:04:30,250
What do you mean? Like a contest?
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00:04:30,610 --> 00:04:34,910
Yeah. Kids form teams. Everybody sets up
a booth. Best ribs win. I think people
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will be into it. Probably. And the four
of us could be a team.
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I'm in.
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00:04:38,590 --> 00:04:41,490
Cool. My dad's got an awesome baby back
rib recipe.
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00:04:41,750 --> 00:04:44,650
Oh, that works. Because my grandma makes
this homemade barbecue sauce.
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You'd cry it's so good.
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00:04:46,570 --> 00:04:47,570
Sweet!
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Now that's nice.
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00:04:52,430 --> 00:04:53,690
What do you mean? What's nice?
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Seeing you guys cooperate and not fight
for one.
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Well, ribs do bring people together. The
magic of pork.
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Amen. Amen.
84
00:05:01,830 --> 00:05:02,830
Amen.
85
00:05:02,950 --> 00:05:03,950
Yeah.
86
00:05:06,430 --> 00:05:07,430
Ow.
87
00:05:08,230 --> 00:05:09,230
Ow.
88
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,530
Ow! Do you want eyebrows or not?
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00:05:11,730 --> 00:05:12,730
Yes, please.
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Then hold still and stop being a baby.
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There.
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Dear God.
93
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,020
Those were the only fake eyebrows they
had in the drama department.
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00:05:23,460 --> 00:05:27,020
I cannot walk around PCA with two red
gerbils on my face.
95
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:29,500
Hey, guys.
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00:05:30,860 --> 00:05:33,060
Oh, my God. Mark, you look ridiculous.
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00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:35,440
See? Would you rather have no eyebrows
at all?
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By tomorrow morning, he'll have his own
eyebrows back.
99
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:40,099
You found them?
100
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:41,880
No. I made this.
101
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:47,000
It's a follicular stimulant. A
follicular? It accelerates hair growth.
102
00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:50,640
You just dab a little on whatever skin
you wish to become hairy, and within
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00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,600
hours, hair. And it works? You tell me.
104
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:56,880
Oh! Oh, my.
105
00:05:58,300 --> 00:05:59,480
Your pen's all furry!
106
00:05:59,940 --> 00:06:04,520
Well, I had to test it out. So, last
night, I put some of this under my arm,
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00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:05,680
now... Stop!
108
00:06:05,940 --> 00:06:07,620
Oh. Stop showing us!
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Oh, calm down.
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I'll shave it off before I go to bed
tonight.
111
00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:14,340
Now, get those caterpillars off Mark's
face.
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Okay.
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Wait, is this going to hurt? Because I
have a low threshold.
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It just says we're allowed to have a rib
cook -off this Saturday in the quad.
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If we get an adult to supervise.
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Ribs? Can I be the judge?
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Well, yeah, we were just going to ask. I
want to be the judge! Okay!
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You can be the judge.
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Yes!
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Come on, come on, come on, let's go!
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I'm coming!
122
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:06,620
Where are you guys going?
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To grab some breakfast before class.
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anymore to get the ribs.
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That's not true.
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Now, um, you just lay the ribs down
there.
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Okay.
128
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,520
And I'll apply the Reese family's world
famous rib rub.
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00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,240
World famous?
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Yes, world famous.
131
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:07,060
So if I'm walking down the street in
Bangladesh and I turn to some
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00:08:07,060 --> 00:08:09,560
and say, hey, you heard about the Reese
family's rib rub?
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00:08:09,820 --> 00:08:11,000
He's gonna say, oh,
134
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:18,060
I have to put up with this?
135
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:19,320
Just rub the ribs.
136
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:28,200
Okay, step one. Just sprinkle it all
over both sides of the slab, like this.
137
00:08:29,620 --> 00:08:33,900
Then, just rub it in really good like
this.
138
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:36,720
And there.
139
00:08:37,539 --> 00:08:40,080
Nice. Okay, now what about the sauce?
140
00:08:40,299 --> 00:08:41,400
All right.
141
00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:46,320
Now, we're just going to take a little
of the sauce with this brush, you see.
142
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:51,000
Then we're just going to spread it
evenly across the slab.
143
00:08:51,300 --> 00:08:52,300
That's too much.
144
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,000
Excuse me?
145
00:08:54,060 --> 00:08:57,340
You just put a little sauce on before
you cook them, and then when they're
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almost done, you put more on.
147
00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:00,680
You're a moron.
148
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:01,880
Just trying to help.
149
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:04,960
I'm doing it the way my grandma does it.
Well, your grandma's wrong.
150
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,520
Did I tell you how to rub the rib?
151
00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:14,640
No, because I did it right.
152
00:09:14,980 --> 00:09:15,980
Come on, boys.
153
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:17,160
Play nice.
154
00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:18,559
No, no, no.
155
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:19,560
Cool.
156
00:09:20,020 --> 00:09:21,980
He did do it right.
157
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:28,700
In fact, let me see if I have the rib
rubbing technique down.
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00:09:29,540 --> 00:09:31,000
First, you get some rub.
159
00:09:32,420 --> 00:09:34,640
And then, you apply it to the ribs.
160
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:37,340
That's right, all in the rib cage area.
161
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:38,900
All in there. Right there.
162
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,980
Okay, maybe this would be a good time to
take a little break.
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00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:45,400
Wait, wait, wait.
164
00:09:46,030 --> 00:09:48,250
Let me see if I understand how to apply
this thought.
165
00:09:56,210 --> 00:09:57,550
That how your grandma does it?
166
00:09:58,530 --> 00:09:59,530
Yeah.
167
00:10:00,270 --> 00:10:02,030
Let me show you how she takes out the
trash.
168
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,570
One more time.
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00:10:06,790 --> 00:10:08,370
My grandma does so much.
170
00:10:08,950 --> 00:10:12,810
Don't talk about my grandma.
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00:10:16,060 --> 00:10:20,080
Okay, okay, okay. All right, since you
two can't act like grown -ups, we're
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00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:21,640
going to form two separate teams.
173
00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:23,140
Michael, you're with me.
174
00:10:23,340 --> 00:10:24,980
Good. Sadly, I got you.
175
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:30,840
Good. Our ribs are going to make your
ribs taste like... bad ribs.
176
00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:32,680
Well, we'll settle this on the grill.
177
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:34,800
Win!
178
00:10:36,620 --> 00:10:37,620
Win!
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00:10:51,340 --> 00:10:53,620
guys and Michael and Logan were all on
the same rib team.
180
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:54,819
What happened?
181
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,120
Well, there was a rubbing.
182
00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:57,540
There was a thopping.
183
00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:02,160
Some grandma bashing. And now I'm
cooking ribs with Michael. And I'll be
184
00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:03,160
it up with Logan.
185
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:04,440
Zoe! Zoe!
186
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:05,760
Oh, hey, Dean Rivers.
187
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,000
What's up, Dino?
188
00:11:07,140 --> 00:11:08,140
Too casual.
189
00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,100
Dean Rivers, how are you?
190
00:11:10,380 --> 00:11:11,380
Very excited.
191
00:11:11,580 --> 00:11:13,220
Guess who's right outside the building?
192
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,740
Who? Pierre Lamage.
193
00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:17,680
From the Food Channel?
194
00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:18,559
No way!
195
00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:20,380
He's like the most famous chef in the
world.
196
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:21,659
What's he doing here?
197
00:11:21,660 --> 00:11:23,780
He wants to judge your rib cook -off.
What?
198
00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:28,100
How'd he even know about... I was at the
gas station. He pulls up next to me. I
199
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:30,900
say, aren't you Pierre Lamage? And he
says, oui, oui.
200
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,220
Really? Yeah.
201
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:36,660
So we start talking. I mention the rib
cook -off, and he just offered to be the
202
00:11:36,660 --> 00:11:38,040
judge. That's so cool.
203
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:39,300
The best. That's awesome.
204
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,120
You want to meet him? Yeah, totally.
205
00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:42,560
Wait here.
206
00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:43,860
You got a celebrity judge.
207
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:46,780
Yeah, and who's going to tell Coco?
208
00:11:47,860 --> 00:11:48,960
Who's going to tell me what?
209
00:11:50,090 --> 00:11:51,090
Uh, Coco.
210
00:11:51,830 --> 00:11:55,670
Um, Zoe, why don't you tell Coco the
exciting news?
211
00:11:56,010 --> 00:11:57,010
Thanks, Chase.
212
00:11:57,990 --> 00:12:04,590
Um, on a scale of one to ten, how mad
would you be if you didn't judge the rib
213
00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:05,269
cook -off?
214
00:12:05,270 --> 00:12:06,270
What?
215
00:12:06,630 --> 00:12:11,630
Students. Pierre Lamont. I can't stand
it when I'm promised something and then,
216
00:12:11,670 --> 00:12:13,450
oh my God, you're Pierre Lamont!
217
00:12:14,890 --> 00:12:19,350
Bonjour, mademoiselle. Mes amis. I watch
you on TV all the time.
218
00:12:19,710 --> 00:12:20,830
I made your butternut squash fries.
219
00:12:21,070 --> 00:12:22,530
And were they delicious?
220
00:12:22,830 --> 00:12:26,010
Yeah. I knew your answer before you
responded.
221
00:12:27,090 --> 00:12:28,090
I'm Coco.
222
00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:29,750
Coco.
223
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:35,150
Named after my favorite warm chocolatey
beverage with the small marshmallows
224
00:12:35,150 --> 00:12:36,670
that float upon the surface.
225
00:12:38,350 --> 00:12:43,530
See, we were hoping you'd be okay if Mr.
Lamond judged the rib cook -off and,
226
00:12:43,590 --> 00:12:46,590
uh... You were the assistant judge.
227
00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:48,070
Okay.
228
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,120
You are a food expert.
229
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,160
Oh, you bet your sweet bippy.
230
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:58,420
I have found you all delightful, and I
look forward to tasting your ribs.
231
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:04,120
I am in love with that man.
232
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:06,300
Hey, Coco.
233
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,760
You dropped your pillowcase.
234
00:13:11,460 --> 00:13:14,360
That is my underwear.
235
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:19,460
I'm gonna go boil my hand.
236
00:13:27,780 --> 00:13:28,780
Look at this!
237
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:29,880
Look at this!
238
00:13:30,620 --> 00:13:32,440
Well, what are we supposed to do?
239
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,740
This is one of our brand new
dormitories.
240
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,880
Notice the extra wide hallways?
Fantastic.
241
00:14:04,340 --> 00:14:07,180
I have never seen a school hallway so
wide.
242
00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:10,100
Excuse me.
243
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:13,780
I should take this. Just give me one
second.
244
00:14:13,980 --> 00:14:14,980
But of course.
245
00:14:16,380 --> 00:14:17,380
River's here.
246
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:19,620
Sure, what time?
247
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,120
Hey. Mr. Lamage.
248
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:32,300
Oui? I hear you're judging the rib cook
-off. Indeed, this is true.
249
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,320
Are you one of the students competing?
250
00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:37,560
Yeah, me and my friend, tall, skinny
kid, weird hair.
251
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:41,620
It is nice to see a young person so
interested in cooking.
252
00:14:42,140 --> 00:14:43,280
Interested in winning.
253
00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:48,840
Oh, hey, what's this?
254
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,540
I think you dropped some cash.
255
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,720
But I don't think... Take it.
256
00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:58,229
Oh.
257
00:14:59,730 --> 00:15:05,190
And, uh, when you're judging, just
remember, Logan Reed, the guy who bound
258
00:15:05,190 --> 00:15:06,190
$300.
259
00:15:23,310 --> 00:15:24,950
There. I'm all fake.
260
00:15:25,290 --> 00:15:26,290
Well, I'm not.
261
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:27,620
I have no eyebrows.
262
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:28,960
I look like a freak.
263
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:32,920
No, you just look more aerodynamic.
264
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:35,840
Now, come on. Let's go meet Zoe and Lola
for dinner.
265
00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:37,960
I'm not going out in public like this.
266
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:41,160
All right, I'll bring you something
back.
267
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:44,820
Thanks. Can I get a plain potato and a
napkin? Sure.
268
00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:46,680
No butter, sour cream?
269
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,200
Plain potato and a napkin.
270
00:16:02,190 --> 00:16:04,730
It is helping my back more than you can
understand.
271
00:16:05,510 --> 00:16:06,510
That's good to hear.
272
00:16:07,010 --> 00:16:08,390
You just relax and enjoy.
273
00:16:08,710 --> 00:16:11,270
Very well, but you must let me pay you
for this massage.
274
00:16:11,850 --> 00:16:12,850
Now, now.
275
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:17,090
You just remember me, Michael Barrett,
when you're judging that rib cook -off.
276
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:21,370
How can I forget? You have hands like a
lumberjack. You flatter me.
277
00:16:21,910 --> 00:16:23,970
Look out. Here comes the chop -o -matic.
278
00:16:28,150 --> 00:16:30,690
You like that. I know.
279
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,220
I got you the biggest baked potato I
could... Mark!
280
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:45,120
They're back.
281
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,860
But haven't they been gone for an hour?
How could...
282
00:16:47,860 --> 00:16:54,600
You
283
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,140
tell me. It's your follicular stimulant.
284
00:16:57,460 --> 00:17:00,080
Yeah, but I never knew it would
regenerate hair this aggressively.
285
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,900
Oh, we're freaks.
286
00:17:04,180 --> 00:17:05,180
Yeah.
287
00:17:06,140 --> 00:17:07,260
Did I have my potato?
288
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,240
Grab your thing, get in the car.
289
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:31,100
Walk the mountain in your style.
290
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:38,680
Spread your arms, raise in the air. It's
a perfect day.
291
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:43,360
No one bought them, you were bound.
292
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:49,160
So just get lost until you're found.
293
00:17:54,190 --> 00:17:58,130
Spread your arms, we will be an
unsuperfect tale
294
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:32,940
Well, what do you think, Mr. LaMange?
295
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:36,300
Your ribs are excellent.
296
00:18:37,660 --> 00:18:39,660
But not better than 9 .6, right?
297
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,120
Yes.
298
00:18:50,020 --> 00:18:54,660
Why are the police here?
299
00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:56,420
Jambon.
300
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:11,760
A couple of fellas.
301
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,040
What was that about?
302
00:19:15,540 --> 00:19:16,540
You're under arrest.
303
00:19:16,980 --> 00:19:17,980
Come on, let's go.
304
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,220
Why is Pierre Lamage under arrest?
305
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:25,020
Well, this guy is not Pierre Lamage.
306
00:19:25,220 --> 00:19:30,120
What? He's an imposter. He goes around
the country pretending he's Mr. Lamage
307
00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:32,600
he can get free stuff and special VIP
treatment.
308
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:37,700
No way. For real? Yep. We've been
chasing this guy ever since the Burbank
309
00:19:37,700 --> 00:19:38,700
Festival.
310
00:19:40,020 --> 00:19:41,440
Birmingham has a tamale festival?
311
00:19:41,940 --> 00:19:43,040
Put him in the car.
312
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:47,240
Wait!
313
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:51,280
Wait for Coco!
314
00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:53,160
Step away from the car.
315
00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:58,060
Uh, you have sauce all over your face.
316
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:01,680
Great.
317
00:20:03,180 --> 00:20:04,880
Whole rib Coco was for nothing.
318
00:20:05,140 --> 00:20:05,999
No, it wasn't.
319
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,200
Yeah, we had some fun, had some ribs.
320
00:20:08,590 --> 00:20:10,430
Got Stephen Kovstok with some big dude?
321
00:20:11,050 --> 00:20:12,050
Yeah.
322
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:14,690
Right before he picked our ribs as
number one.
323
00:20:15,330 --> 00:20:17,350
Your ribs don't even come close to our
ribs.
324
00:20:17,570 --> 00:20:21,390
You don't know about my ribs. My grandma
made my ribs. My grandma's better. Your
325
00:20:21,390 --> 00:20:22,390
grandma's better.
326
00:20:23,350 --> 00:20:27,770
We're all sick and tired of you two
screaming at each other. So from now on,
327
00:20:27,770 --> 00:20:28,810
more arguing.
328
00:20:29,050 --> 00:20:30,050
Seriously.
329
00:20:35,370 --> 00:20:36,370
They're right, you know.
330
00:20:36,810 --> 00:20:37,810
Yeah.
331
00:20:38,350 --> 00:20:39,350
So uh...
332
00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:37,170
Three to four weeks.
333
00:21:37,390 --> 00:21:39,850
Great. We gotta hide for a month.
334
00:21:48,990 --> 00:21:51,770
You know, this is what's wrong with
being a teenager.
335
00:21:52,110 --> 00:21:54,330
We're all so worried about what
everybody else thinks.
336
00:21:54,790 --> 00:21:57,170
So what if you have giant shrubberies
for eyebrows?
337
00:21:57,470 --> 00:21:58,650
Who cares what people think?
338
00:21:58,990 --> 00:22:01,150
You're saying I should go out there like
this?
339
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:06,560
Okay.
340
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,540
And you're gonna go out with that wad of
fur under your arm?
341
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:28,460
Why does someone even date him?
342
00:22:32,780 --> 00:22:35,760
Oh, my grandma's sauce is amazing. I
know, dude. Your rib rub is pretty good,
343
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:36,479
too. I know.
344
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,200
Hey, either of you guys want to dance?
345
00:22:39,340 --> 00:22:40,340
Yeah, sure.
346
00:23:09,710 --> 00:23:10,710
Thank you.
24906
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