Original subtitles

I'm just another kind of girl.

Can't you watch?

As we've been discussing over the past few weeks, psychology isn't just talking

about the feelings we want to talk about. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

To really discover what makes our brains tick, we have to talk about our inner

feelings that we don't want to talk about.

Um, why would we want to talk about stuff we don't want to talk about?

We wouldn't. That's why we must. Do you understand?

Yes. Truthfully?

No.

Zoe, help him out. Are you saying that keeping secrets is a bad thing?

No, no. Oh, wait, yeah. That is what I'm saying.

Yes, yes. You see, if you're open and share your feelings, even your deep,

dark secrets, it can help free your mind and help you be more comfortable with

who you really are.

Lola, share a secret.

Well, okay.

Um, when I was really little, I did have kind of a bad experience.

Harry's hot dogs where everyone's a wiener.

Come try Harry's hot dogs where everyone's a wiener.

And

ever

since I've been afraid of people in big costumes.

You know, mascots, theme park characters, Easter bunnies.

All of them.

Thank you. Thanks for the laughter. Class.

Lola, don't you feel better for having shared that secret with your classmates?

No, not at all.

Really? Because it says in my teaching handbook that, uh, chapter seven.

Oh.

Yes, I wasn't supposed to have you reveal your secret out loud.

Oh, super.

Any which, um, um, uh, tonight, um, I want all... All of you to write

down a secret about yourselves on a piece of paper, sign it, and then bring

back to class tomorrow.

Who's going to read it? No one. Then what's the point of this? Just do as I

Two spicy California rolls for one spicy Zoe Brooks.

Just put the sushi on the table.

Here. Thank you.

So, uh, what you doing? French homework?

No, psychology.

Ah, writing down your little secret, are you?

Maybe.

Excuse me. I want to see.

It's a secret.

Come on, I thought we were close friends.

You know, tight, like road dogs.

Okay, you want to read my secret?

Read it.

It's not in here.

Why not?

It's a bear thing. Read it in the hall.

All right.

I'm not telling you my secret.

Are you kidding?

I feel duped.

Now, students, today nature is going to be our classroom.

Does that mean that tree is going to be our restroom?

Please continue.

Thank you.

Does everyone have their secret?

Oh, yeah. Yeah? Fabulous.

Now, why am I holding these helium balloons?

We're going to hire secret balloons and let them go? Yes. To lift your burdens

off your shoulders.

so you'll feel freer of spirit and clearer of mind.

Questions? May I go to the tree?

Oh, come on, you people laugh at that? I set that joke up.

All right, no more fribble. Everyone, come fetch a balloon.

I want a green one.

Wait, I don't want the pink one. Dude, it's not even pink.

It's more like a... like a salmon.

And that's supposed to make me feel better? The salmon is the noblest of all

fish. I've heard that. Look, I do not want a fish -colored balloon.

I'll take the pink one.

It's salmon.

Good job, Zoe.

Okay, young people.

Tie your secrets securely to your strings.

Miss Stangle, I think this is a fantastic idea.

When the horrendous secret of mine floats up into the sky, I know I'll feel

so...

Stacy, there's no such thing as bad luck. What you must do is take the good

your life and... We'll chat later, Stacy.

And now, students, I will play some inspirational music to underscore this

cleansing.

I think they're going to hit the plate. They're going so high.

Hi, from PCA.

It's just after midnight, so both my roommates are asleep.

Hey, did I ever tell you that one of my roommates has to put soft African

guppies in her nose so she won't snore?

I know that sounds weird, but it actually...

line to zoesballoon .com.

your secret.

Unless you do exactly as I say, I will tell your secrets to everyone at PCA.

Return to this website tomorrow morning for instructions.

And if you tell anyone about this, your secret will be revealed to all.

Sweet dreams.

Snowy.

Reveal your secret to everyone at BCA.

Now, here's what you're going to do.

Down in the lobby, in the storage room closet, you will find a large yellow

banana suit.

Oh, hey, Zoe.

Hello. What's up, Zoe?

Okay, I think that's all the poppy seeds.

No.

I still feel one between my molar and my cuspid. Well, it's your fault for

eating that poppy seed muffin.

If we had left at 7 .40 as I asked, we would have... Oh, my God, Zoe's a

And ever since...

I've been afraid of people in big costumes.

Big fuzzy costume.

Hey, guys.

Well,

at least she didn't laugh at me.

Like everyone else has.

Well, you can't blame people for laughing. The banana is the funniest of

fruits.

the kumquat kumquat say it it's funny please don't make

jokes this wasn't exactly my idea why wear it i can't say come on i'm your

roommate i hear you burp in your sleep i do not burp in my sleep well if you did

i'd hear it just telling me why you're dressed as a banana

come with me

Who's blackmailing you when you have no idea who?

Zero. I don't know who it is, and I don't know how he got his hands on my

balloon. You know, why even worry about it? I mean, even if you blabbed your

secret all over PCA, would it really be that bad?

Yes. I'd rather dress up like a banana every day for the rest of my life.

Wow. What's your secret?

I'm not telling my secret.

All right. Calm down.

Where's the original note you got from the blackmailer?

Here. Wait.

Give me the note.

Interesting.

You think you can figure out who made it?

I think so.

We're going to run a fingerprint and spectral analysis, a paper thread

diagnostic, and an adhesive polymer scan to test the matrix of the glue

structure.

Yes, I was going to suggest that.

It's morning?

We've been up all night?

I've been up all night.

You guys crashed at about four in the morning.

Well, did you find out where that note came from?

No. Quinn, there are no fingerprints, no hairs, no DNA, no dandruff particles.

This guy's good.

What are you doing?

Checking the website to find out what horrible thing this person's gonna make

do today.

6 p .m., you are to report to Central Campus just west of the library.

You will bring a large boombox and a CD of the 1994 hit song, The Macalana.

What's The Macalana? I've read about it. The Macalana was the most embarrassing

song and dance of the 20th century.

It was like a big zit on the face of the 90s.

Every student at PCA.

Have fun, Zoe.

I'll be watching you dance.

Are you going to do it? What choice do I have?

Where are you going?

Zoe!

I just want to be alone.

I feel so bad for her.

I know, I just... Oh, I'm so stupid!

Zoe's blackmailer is sending messages through a website.

So? With an IP address, I might be able to pinpoint the exact location of

whoever created the website.

Well, then type things and push buttons. I'm typing, I'm pushing.

Hello, Firewire.

Why are you blackmailing Zoe?

I'm serious.

Thanks a lot, Force.

Why are you blackmailing Zoe?

It's not me.

I traced the website's IP address to this room, your computer.

Okay, okay, it did come from my computer, but I just helped the person

the website.

I swear.

Then who'd you create the website for? Who's blackmailing Zoe?

I can't say. I promise.

Now, you guys better leave me alone, or I swear I'll call Dean Rip... How

do you do that? Just grab a foot.

Wakey, wakey.

Are you ready to tell us who's blackmailing Zoe?

No, I'm not telling. Uh -oh.

We didn't want to have to do that.

But...

What?

Does this look familiar?

You took my Galaxy Wars action figures?

All of them.

Mm -hmm.

Now, tell us who's blackmailing Zoe or Princess Oblongata's gonna take a bath.

A bath?

In chloropeptic acid.

You can't do that. She's in her original packaging.

If you want to save the princess, then you better tell us who's blackmailing

Zoe. Help her, Firewire.

You're her only hope.

I'm not telling you anything.

Okay, then.

I know it's you, Rebecca.

What do you mean, Zoe?

That you're the one blackmailing me?

Now, Zoe, what would make you think that I'm the one who found your pink balloon

and your little secret note attached to it? Are you denying it?

No, it was me.

Why? What did I ever do to you? You made Chase break up with me. No, she didn't.

Chase broke up with you because you're a bucket of nut!

Well,

think what you want.

But, um... Zoe?

You better get going because you've got to dance the Macalana on a table in

Central Campus in less than 20 minutes. What?

It's over. You're busted.

Doesn't matter because I know your secret. And if you don't do what I say,

going to email the entire school and make sure everyone knows your secret.

Now, I'm going to go wait because I'm really looking forward to watching you

look like an idiot in front of this whole school.

Now what?

I better go get the boom box.

Zoe!

If that girl tells this whole school my secret, I'm going to have to leave TTA.

So it's Macalana time.

I'm not going to do it.

You hear me, Rebecca?

I'm not doing it.

Okay.

Then I'm going to do this.

Everyone, if I could have your attention, please.

Thank you.

Most of us here at PCA know Zoe Brooks.

Well, I know a little secret about Zoe you might be interested in.

But first, I have a little secret about myself.

Okay. When I went to my uncle's wedding when I was five years old, I was the

flower girl.

Zoe's secret is a little more embarrassing than that.

I have a secret.

The first time I wore a bra, I couldn't figure out how to get it off, and my mom

had to help me.

Nice.

Yeah, well, that's embarrassing, but not nearly as embarrassing as what I'm

going to tell you about Zoe.

Every year when my parents drop me off at PCA, I cry for two hours.