Original subtitles

Are you ready?

I know you see me standing here.

Do I look good, my dear?

Do I look good today?

I'm just another kind of girl.

And you want...

Food for lunch.

So, what's the big deal? The big deal is, this is not a healthy meal. Well, we

wouldn't have to eat these spheres of marshmallowy pinkness if the PCA lunch

ladies would learn to make a better chicken breast.

Why are you giggling?

Because Chase said breast.

Breast?

I just don't think the world would come to an end if they put some healthier

snacks in that machine.

Look, can I just have my doodle pup back?

Sure. No.

Thanks for sucking the fun out of lunchtime.

There he is, the great Vince Blake.

Hey, if it wasn't for Vince Blake, the PC football team would not be in the

state finals for the first time ever.

Vince may be the best high school quarterback in the country.

So he's still just a person.

Oh, my God, he's coming this way. Quick!

No go.

Michaelicious, what's up?

Oh,

hey. Nice cashless Friday night.

Are you kidding me, man? That was a perfect pass. How could I not catch it?

make a good point, my friend.

What's up, Zoloroid? Hey, Vince.

Zoloroid? Vince is the nickname Master.

I have a gift.

I bet you do.

Hi, Vince. We haven't met. I'm Quinn Penske.

And although the Americans

lost the Battle of Bunker Hill, they showed that poorly trained volunteers

able to stand up to the British Army.

And of course, this is a battle where Colonel Prescott coined the phrase, run

away, they're killing us.

Hmm. Prescott started that?

Now remember, Wednesday you'll have your test on the American Revolution.

Vince isn't such a big shot when he has to use his brain.

And speaking of history, I think there'll be a little history in the

coming weekend when Vince Blake leads PCA to its first ever state football

championship.

I can hug you then.

Hey, what's life without Ritz? Come here.

All right.

Vince! Vince!

Vince! Vince! Vince!

Vince! Vince! Vince! Vince! Vince! Vince! Vince! Vince! Vince!

Vince!

Girls,

every vending machine at PCA brings in thousands of dollars a month.

They're very profitable for this school.

Then why can't you afford a normal -sized pool table?

My son -in -law bought me this.

How are you supposed to hit these tiny balls?

Look, we're not trying to get rid of the vending machine. We just want to get

rid of all the junk food and fill them with healthy snacks.

Yeah, I don't really think kids will buy broccoli on a stick.

They'll buy healthy snacks if they taste good. Lots of them do.

Like, what if we could find something high in fiber and we'll...

when you swallowed the cue ball.

Like it's my fault?

So what about our healthy snack idea?

I'm afraid not, Zoe.

But Dean, we're... Please.

I have to make an important call.

Hello?

Yes, I'd like to order a tiny cue ball.

Help you?

Uh, yeah. I, uh, I think I left my tech mate in Mr. Toplin's classroom.

Mind if I go check?

Eh, well, make it quick.

Thanks.

I'm telling you, Vince was taking pictures of the test.

So what if he was?

Well, that's cheating.

PCA has an honor code, and I'm pretty sure the cheating is frowned upon.

Yeah, well, if you bust Vince Blake and get him suspended, this whole school is

going to frown upon you.

Because we'll lose the state championship.

So I should just forget what I saw and let him cheat.

Yeah.

Boy, Flobin is catching on.

3 kilograms.

1 .3.

1 .7 kilograms.

Wow.

Any reason you guys are weighing cactuses?

We're working on a horticultural project together.

I'm keeping a log.

You two sure know how to party it up, don't you? Ah, here we go. Moon bars.

Delicious and filling.

These rectangular treats from New Jersey contain only 70 calories, 11 grams of

fiber, and are made entirely from pulverized vegetables, soy protein, and

grains. Why are you looking up moon bars?

Because we're going to put them in PCA's vending machine.

Dean Rivers said no.

Yeah, yeah, I heard him.

You can't defy the dean.

Why are you defending him? He shot a pool ball down your throat.

True. I gotta take a break.

What do you call the nurse?

He sat on a cactus?

What was it that he spent six hours in the infirmary having needles removed

his left butt cheek?

Ow. It just proves my motto.

What's your motto?

Never sit on a cactus.

That's your motto.

There you go.

Hey, there's Vince.

Man, man, please don't do this.

I'm just gonna go talk to him. No, dude, she's crazy.

Just... What's up, Vince?

Uh, Chip?

Chase. Um, listen, you got a minute to... Hi, Vince.

Can we get a picture with you?

Later, okay?

Okay, sure.

Happens all the time.

Yeah, yeah.

I can't relate.

Um... Look, last night I saw you in Mr. Toplin's classroom,

and it sort of looked like you were taking pics of the test.

Yeah.

I, you know, I realized I could be wrong accusing you. You're not wrong.

So you were taking pics of the test.

That's right.

What's the problem?

Well, you know...

The prob is that, you know, PTA's got an honor code, and cheating just kind of

isn't cool here, you know? Don't worry about it, all right?

No one's going to catch me.

You sure on that?

A hundred percent.

I mean, you're the only person who knows, so if I get busted, I know who to

blame, right?

You picking up what I'm putting down?

I'm picking it up.

Wait, so Vince didn't even deny it?

Nope. I told him I saw him taking pics of the test, and he totally admitted it.

What a jerk. I know.

I mean you.

Why do you have to accuse him of cheating?

What if you stress him out? Yeah, man. Vince has got to be focused on football

until Friday night when we win.

Okay, okay. So let me see if I got this straight, okay?

Cheating is wrong unless you're a big football hero.

Yes. There you go.

Zoe.

I agree that cheating is wrong. Thank you.

That's because she's a girl. Girls always think wrong things are wrong.

But if he turns 10, he's going to get suspended, which means PPA is going to

lose the championship.

I can't believe that you think winning a football game is more important than

doing what's right.

I can't believe you think it's worth ruining something special for everybody

just to bust one guy for cheating one time.

Oh, God, my head is going to explode. Good.

That's really nice. Now my friend is wishing me head trauma.

Vince Blake is the best football player that's ever gone to PCA. Yes, Vince is a

big deal at football, but that doesn't make him bigger than life.

And he's bigger than life.

Cactus goo.

Cactus goo.

Now, hand me the moon bar.

You want to tell us what you're doing?

Just taste this.

It's good.

Oh, my God, that's awesome.

This is an extremely rare cactus grown only in the deserts of southern

Guadalupechu. It contains a unique piquant fluid.

Which is tasty.

But with almost no calories.

How many of those cactuses you got?

About two dozen.

Crack open the moon bars.

Woo!

Hey.

You Chase?

Yeah. Coach Keller wants to talk to you by the field house.

Coach Keller.

He makes me do squat threats. I'm going to puke on his shoes.

No snacks. I'll load up the machine.

No problem.

May I see your elbow?

My elbow?

I'm doing a project for school. It involves elbows.

May I see yours?

Um, okay.

How did she... Nerd pinch.

Uh, you seen the coach?

Coach ain't coming.

Oh. That's weird, because the guy over there told me to meet him right around

here. Hey! Oh.

We hear you thinking about busting Vince for cheating.

That's a bad idea.

I'll tell you guys what's a bad idea. It's messing with a guy that knows

You know karate?

Well, I, uh, I know people.

That know karate. For example, my cousin in Phoenix.

He's just a short plane ride away and his number's programmed right in my...

Keep your mouth shut about Vince.

Because we hate to see you get hurt.

eat for moon bars.

Did I tell you? Did I say to buy healthy snacks that taste good?

Zoe!

Okay, you were right. I was wrong.

These moon bars are incredible.

Yeah, listen, I know it was wrong of us to break into the machines when you said

not to, but... No, no, I'm glad you did.

Mmm!

And low -calorie, low -fat.

Totally. And filled with cactus goo.

What kind of goo? Skip it.

I've got to get another one of these things.

I'll take that.

I'd like to congratulate you all on your

test, which I know were not easy.

Most of you did quite well.

Vince, listen.

I want you to know I'm not going to turn you in for cheating.

Cool?

If you swear not to do it anymore.

I hear you.

Good.

No more cheating.

No, I was just letting you know I hear you.

I'm still going to cheat.

Dude, don't irritate Vince.

And it looks like we have a new MVP of this class. Vince Blake gets 100.

Yeah!

Nice work, Vince.

Hey, when Vince Blake does something, he always... Vince cheated.

What did you say?

Vince stole the answers to the test.

I saw him do it.

That's a lie.

Chase, that's a very serious charge.

I know.

Well, unless you have some proof, I suggest... He snuck in here at night and

took pictures of the test with his cell phone.

I bet he wasn't smart enough to delete them.

Vince, may I see your cell phone?

So, Mr. Topham's on the picks in his phone?

Yep, and Vince got academic suspension, so he can't play in the state finals.

So, everyone at PCA hates me.

Not everyone hates you.

You think I did the right thing?

Tell you what, if I make this basket, then you did the right thing.

Excellent. Listen, I should get going.

Okay. I think I'm going to hang out here.

Thanks. You know, shoot some air balls.

You're good at that.

Night. Night.

Okay. If I make this, I will one day own my own zebra.

I shall name him Zebo.

Told you not to mess with me.

Should have just kept your mouth shut.

Fine. Come on.

You want to beat me up?

Do it.

It's not going to change things.

It'll change a face.

Touché.

All right, now, just hold him.

Hey, Reed, Barrett.

You guys going to help us do a little dance on Matthew's face?

Nope.

It's gonna be a fight.

You guys said we were gonna see a movie.

Now look, why don't you guys just go on back to your dorm, all right?

I don't think so.

Okay.

But if you're gonna mess with Chase, then you're gonna mess with us, too.

They just hit you guys?

Hit.

Punched. Kicked.

It was a medley of pain.

You poor guys.

Yeah, but at least they got beat up for doing the right thing.

I can't believe the three of you took on the whole football team.

More of it.

Yeah. They'll pick a little help. Sort of.

Mark? My Mark?

Where is he?

Oh, dear.

Basketball booth.

Okay,

chapter seven.

Zoe? Zoe!

Hey, Stacy. You have to order more moon bars.

Huh? The vending machine is out. There's one stuck in there, and a bunch of kids

are trying to break inside to get at it.

We need more moon bars.

They're all gone.

Oh, there's one left. It's stuck in the machine.

Stuck in the... Oh!

What's going on? Queen!

Well, the cactus glue I used does have an addictive quality.

Addictive?

Yeah. The more you eat, the more your body craves it. It makes people go

It's what destroyed the civilization of Guadalupe in 1721.

Then why'd you let us...

Moomba? Moomba!

Moomba! Moomba! Moomba!

Moomba!

Yeah, yeah, you.

I just gotta let it loose.

I do what you do for me.