Original subtitles

Are you ready?

Ooh, I know you see me standing here.

Do I look good, my dear?

Do I look good today?

Ooh,

I'm just another kind of girl.

And you want to see my world.

So come and...

I got a handle.

I'll meet you back at your door.

Hold

on.

We're not even two hours into the new school year and you guys are already

to kill each other? No.

I'm about to kill him, though. I'm standing here. You know what?

am not gonna rock now

what up i want the single bed this year

i get the single bed you're still on time out all right you tell him that i

the single bed like i always do that's the point man it's my turn okay it's

michael's time all right listen may i suggest something please what look you

guys both want the single bed right so why don't we just say that whoever gets

there first gets the bed Fair enough?

Yes, boy.

Okay, good.

Now look, the important thing to remember here is...

Husband, hey.

Hey. Hi. How's it going?

We're going to the beach. You want to come hang?

I do, but I promised my sister I'd help her unpacking stuff.

Okay, I love the shoes, but the outfit is way too rectangular.

Zoe! Hi!

Hi! Oh!

Sorry.

When did you get here? How cool is our new dorm?

Awesome. I love that. Help me get my mattress up on the bed. Okay.

There. And now, I shall make it. You sure you don't want the single bed? No.

I've always wanted the top bunk ever since I was a kid. But my little sister

always got it. And then last year when I came to PCA, Nicole wanted it. So this

year I made sure I got here extra early before Nicole shows up and starts...

Actually, I have something to tell you.

Nicole's not coming back to PCA? I didn't say that. I said she's going to

away for a while.

Why? What happened?

Well, during the summer... Yeah?

Her mom got worried about her, so she took her to a psychologist.

And? Nicole was diagnosed with obsessive male gender disorder.

Which means she's boy crazy.

Well, we all knew that.

So where is she now? They put her in an all -girls school.

Oh, my God.

Nicole in an all -girls school? She's going to lose her mind.

Hey, you guys got to see the new lounge. There's a new Blix machine with five

different flavors.

New flavor?

Yes!

The single bed is mine!

What are you doing in our room?

What do you mean? I'm in 148 Maxwell Hall.

This is Dillard Hall?

advisor yeah i'm the problem you put me in room 36d go there is no room 36d

listen i think i know what room wait you may be right when am i not

right yeah okay i know what happened here see a few nights ago when i was

the room assignments i ordered a bra online and yeah i must have put 36d down

your room number by mistake what's that the pina colada yeah i give it

Excellent. It is like the perfect blend of pineapple and chocolate. I'd like a

room to live in.

Relax.

You can room with Zoe and Lola for a few months.

What about Nicole?

She won't be back until she's cured of her obsessive male gender disorder.

OMGD? It's a long story.

So, uh, you guys don't mind if Quinn bunks with you for a while, right?

No, we wouldn't mind.

At least now I know why this brought him to it.

She took my drink.

So if you guys could be quiet for ten seconds, I'd appreciate it.

You said whoever gets to the single bed first gets it.

Yeah, so I get it. I beat you here by ten of a second. Look, I'm about to beat

you in a ten of a second. If you guys got here within the same second, you're

going to have to find some other way to decide who gets the single bed.

Okay, good. Let's go. I'm right behind you. Oh, yeah, that's right. You're

to be behind me. You know what? I'm in front.

I'm the man.

You're the man, right?

Did you tell Zoe yet?

Not yet.

When are you going to tell her?

Soon. You better.

I'm going to tell her.

Tell her what?

You that you're annoying. Get out. Oh, I'm annoying? Yes, you're annoying.

Who's annoying? Your mom's annoying.

You're annoying. I don't care about her.

That's a love love, man. That's a love love.

for a while, maybe we should go over a few, you know, rules.

Uh, yeah, like, no poison chemicals, no nuclear experiments, no genetic

mutations, no cloning us without our permission, and, um, know that,

whatever that is.

Jeez, are we gonna have any fun?

Knocking.

Entering. Jeez!

And,

uh, no hugs. Zoe?

I tried to hug you like an hour ago, but you fell down and ran away.

This is true.

What's with all the, uh, items?

Um, Quinn's gonna be our new roommate for a while.

Uh -oh.

Oh!

How nice for all of you.

Does he know about Nicole?

Yeah, I heard.

OMGD. Yeah. Mm -hmm.

What?

What is this?

Happy sanctuary.

Why?

I like to put fresh honey on my biscuits.

Is that so weird?

Be quiet.

So, um, listen, Ro, you got a minute to talk?

Sure, talk.

Um, privately?

Oh, uh, yeah, but can we do it later? I really want to get all this stuff put

away. Yeah, absolutely.

I'm just going to set this down.

Try to get the image of it out of my brain forever.

Oh, come on. That's just it. Don't want to know.

Anyway, you guys have fun.

Bye, Chase. See you later.

Ciao.

I wonder what he wants to tell me.

Gee, I wonder.

Yes, whatever could it be?

Okay.

Does it smell really sarcastic in here?

Well, I mean, come on, it's so obvious.

What's obvious?

Why Chase wants to talk to you alone.

Then I guess it's obvious to everyone but me.

Bingo! Ding, ding, ding.

Okay, what?

Chase wants to tell you he's in love with you.

In love with me? Yes, completely.

Head over heels.

Uvula over pancreas.

Head over heels.

In love with me?

Chase? No, me.

Marry me, Zoe. Please be my wife.

Chase is not in love with me. He and I are just friends. Fa -ren.

And you are fa -crazy.

How long have you two thought this?

Us two?

Everyone thinks that. No, they don't.

Uh,

Jeannie, come here.

What's up?

Blank is in love with Zoe. Fill in the blank.

Chase, thanks for playing.

You know, it really gets on my nerves that a guy and a girl can't be close

friends without everyone thinking there's more to it.

Oh, grow up, Zoe. Yeah, there is more to it. Okay, okay, if everyone's thought

that Chase is in love with me for so long, why didn't you guys say so a year

ago? You were waiting for you to catch on.

No one thought you could be so clueless for so long.

No offense.

I'm taken.

Now she's mad at us.

Yeah, I'm mad, and Chase is not in love with me.

Where are you going?

To get some lunch.

What about us?

Eat this.

You know, we actually could eat... No!

Okay. Whoever eats most hot peppers in one hour gets a single bit.

Push the button.

Let's go.

Go.

It's pretty damn hot.

It's not even that hot.

I wish they were hot.

Your java chino. Thanks, girl.

Ew!

I wash behind my ears every other month.

So, you spent most of your summer being a lifeguard.

Mm -hmm.

Fun?

Mostly. Except for one Thursday when this old lady fell in the deep end,

drowned.

Wow. You pull her out? Yeah. I had to give her mouth to mouth.

So how'd that go?

She bit my tongue.

But it all turned out okay?

Yeah, she was fine.

How about your tongue?

I don't know. Do I have a scar?

Hmm.

I don't think so, but... What?

You have a tiny tongue.

All right, we're not going to sit here and make fun of my tongue. Please? No.

So what do you want to talk to me about?

All right, well, um, actually...

Okay,

why did you guys eat hot peppers?

They were trying to see who would get the single bed.

Ah, so who won?

Well, maybe you guys should try boxing.

Boxing killed me.

Cool.

Let's box.

Sometimes I wish I didn't have roommates.

I hear you. All day so far.

One sec.

Hello?

Lola. Did you just... Lola, hang on.

Okay, I'll be right there. What now?

I don't know, but I better get there. We'll talk later.

Good luck.

Sweet dreams.

They chased Coco out of the building.

Wow. She really likes ravioli.

Ew.

you? Did he say he's in love with you?

Stop. He did.

He didn't and he's not.

He said he's not?

He didn't say anything.

When are you going to let Chase tell you he's in love with you? Now would be a

good time.

Chase is not in love with me.

Okay.

He's not in love with you.

Thank you.

But he is so in love.

Okay, that's it.

What's it?

You guys are so sure Chase is in love with me, I'm going to go ask.

No, you can't ask a guy if he's in love with you. You have to let him tell you

when he's ready.

Nope, I'm going to go ask him right now, point blank.

This is so wrong of her.

I know, I love it. Me too.

Uh, I'm sorry.

Zoe, this is Rebecca, my girlfriend.

Nice to meet you.

Why do I try so hard to be

him?

Why do I try so hard

to stay?