Original subtitles

Yo, Phoebe. Shh, quiet.

I'm hiding from Gideon. Oh, sorry.

Why are you hiding from Gideon?

Gideon is out of control these days. He's constantly asking me out, calling

boo, or boo bear, or boo ranasaurus wreck.

He can't possibly be worse than Sarah. Ever since I stopped dating Allison, she

won't leave me alone.

So I had to break out this.

Chloe's makeup mirror?

Yeah. Back when I had a band and dreamed of being a rock star, I was going to

use it to avoid crazy fans.

Now, I use it to avoid my craziest fan of all.

Hey, Max!

You have a crazy fan? That must be so annoying.

Anyway, I got you this little beehive.

Oh, I got it, Sarah, because you're Max's honey.

Did he say that?

Did you say that?

Are there bees in that thing?

Maybe Max does have it worse than me.

Get it? Because I'm your boo?

I get it.

Just don't want it.

Well, you didn't like that, but you are going to love the boo -loons.

The what?

help me drop off Nora at super camp.

I feel bad that I sat on her bunkmate, the invisible kid.

Why didn't I ever get to go to camp?

You did. You burnt the place down.

Where is it? Where is it?

I can't be sure, but I think Mom's looking for something.

Oh, no. Barb, did Chloe lose her blanket again?

I'll go ask her where she left it. Aren't you mad, child?

You know how attached she is to that thing. Now, last time it went missing,

teleported everything out of the house to try to find it. Including my slide. I

had to use the stairs like an animal.

I'm gonna go hide my homework.

I'm gonna go hide from Phoebe.

Barb, we panic every time Chloe loses that blanket. Maybe there's another way

can handle this?

No, when she's ready to give up the blanket, she will.

Now, make with the muscles and lift up the couch.

which is where we should go into so I can make you a snack.

Chloe is never going to get over that blanket as long as your mom keeps

it for her. But Daddy knows exactly what to do.

Leave it alone and let Mom handle it?

Oh, Thunder Child, I have so much to teach you.

Well, this is weird.

What? Nothing weird about this.

Take my underwear!

Okay, now it's weird.

Gideon and Sarah are completely in love with us, and your solution is to play

video games? This is the closest I'll get to living out my rock star dream.

Going on a world tour, staying in fancy hotel rooms, having adoring fans.

Hey, about that, can I have my underwear back? I feel a draft.

Next time, keep them on your butt.

Would you focus, Max? We have to fix our Gideon and Sarah problem.

That's a school problem.

We're home now. We're safe.

Really?

Thunder monitor, show us the door cams.

Does she have a tent?

Yep. And he's stringing up a hammock.

We're not safe at school. We're not safe at home. This has to stop.

You're right.

We let them sleep through the night, then we attack in the morning.

No. I have a better plan. Let's do it.

You haven't heard the plan.

Let's not do it. Okay.

We're going to set Gideon and Sarah up with each other. If they hit it off,

they'll forget all about us.

Oh. Now that is a really good idea.

Colosso, give her the deluxe super fan treatment.

Right?

Simple thank you would have been fine.

what we try to be. Look closer, you might see the crazy things we do.

This is a make -believe.

It's our reality.

Just your average family.

Try to be normal and stay out of trouble.

Living a double life.

Alright, I texted Sarah to meet me over at table seven.

Okay, good. I just texted Gideon to meet me at table seven. Although, it is a

school night, so they might not show up.

in our porch, you think school would stop them?

I'm sorry, Sarah, but I need this table.

I'm meeting Phoebe.

Well, I'm meeting Max.

I know what's happening.

Me and Phoebe and you and Max are having a double date.

A date?

I knew sleeping on his porch would work.

All right, they're sitting together. Now what?

Now we call the love doctor.

I have to take this.

Yes, this is Phoebe, the love doctor.

No one's enjoying them.

Just watch. They're perfect for each other. We just need to create the right

mood for them to realize it. Here, first step, flower.

Somebody ordered your table this bloody romance package.

I bet Max set this up. He's so romantic.

Don't you think?

All I think about is Phoebe.

Forget he's allergic to everything?

Yes, I did.

Ring, ring. Hello, this is Dr. Better Than Phoebe, and I'm ready to operate.

Did not sting.

Worth it!

Okay, before your mom gets back, it's up to us to fix Khloe's blanket problem.

Just to be clear, we're talking about Khloe Kardashian, right?

No, Chloe, your sister.

Not as high profile, but I'll still help.

First, we hide her blanket.

Next, we tell her it's missing. She'll get upset, but she'll get over it.

Then we'll fix this Chloe Kardashian thing.

Sure.

Chloe!

Hey, Daddy.

Honey, take a seat. We've got some bad news.

Your blanket is gone.

What? Your blanket's gone and you have to deal with it.

All right, just settle down, Billy.

Honey, I know you're sad, but you'll always have it in your heart.

I thought it was in the cupboard.

What Billy means is you'll always keep it in the cupboard in your heart.

But it is time to move on.

I miss my blankie.

She still looks pretty sad.

Should I yell at her again? No.

This is all part of the process. She'll be completely over it in 20 minutes.

I miss my blankie!

Let's get that blanket back.

now that you've returned, sweetie.

I missed my blanket!

Oh, no, it happened again?

Yes, because... We don't know where it is.

Why don't you go look for it upstairs?

A blanket doesn't just walk away. Somebody had to have taken it.

I bet it was Colosso, because he's always up to something, and he's

over there.

You're so soft.

I've been looking for you my whole life.

Colossal, get your bunny butt off Chloe's blanket.

Oh, this is Chloe's?

That changes nothing!

Quick, Billy, run after him and get Chloe's blanket.

Just to be clear, are we talking about Chloe Kardashian?

Fresh clam?

Fresh from where?

You ask too many questions.

Oh, good, the lovebird's flying back to the nest.

The police said it's only been 20 minutes, so it's too soon to declare Max

missing.

Okay, I just hacked into the tube to send them a romantic heart -shaped

Did you order this pizza? She's like a bus.

No, I didn't order any of this stuff.

I'm done waiting here for Phoebe.

I'm going to go wait at her house.

I'm going to go get my bloodhound watch. and he'll track Max down.

He always does.

Max, they're leaving. Do something.

They can't leave. They can't find the door.

Whoa!

Max, turn the lights back on.

Mike dumped the clams.

I mean, ocean clams.

Phoebe, look.

You caught me.

I did.

And you didn't comment on my sweaty paws.

hand.

I like how you smell like pimple cream.

Hey, I got movie tickets for me and Max.

Do you want to go instead?

Sure. I spent so much time in Phoebe's locker. I'm happy to go anywhere.

I think they're going on a date.

Yep. Thanks to my plan.

Moist hands is not your plan.

Dilworth!

blanket, Colosso.

What are you guys scared of? A little girl?

Yes, and little girl's mother.

Sorry, but you know the old saying, finders keepers, losers, get out of my

Oh yeah?

Well, whoever smelt it, dealt it.

That's all I got.

I'm taking back that blanket.

You electrified your cage?

Kloster, you have a problem.

You're right.

Stealing a little girl's blanket?

What's wrong with me?

Sorry, I'll turn the cage off.

This is the kind of fun we're going to have now, Blankie.

Hey, I've been here ten seconds and no bees, balloons, or bloodhounds.

Surprise! I baked you cookies.

I ate some of them because I've been in here since last night.

Idiot! So sweet!

I love locker food.

Max, I think we did it.

We sure did.

Hey, Phoebe, I'm sorry to break your heart, but I went out with Sarah last

night. And Max, in case you were wondering, I'm the Sarah he's talking

Oh, no, I...

I have feelings of sadness now.

Phoebe, you're still young.

You'll meet another stud muffin who's out of your league.

Yeah, yeah, I'm heartbroken. So when are you going on your second date?

I'm taking Gideon to meet my uncle at his band's concert tonight at the

Hiddenville Coliseum.

Huh. Sugar Ray's playing in the Coliseum tonight.

Wait, your uncle and Sugar Ray?

Yeah, Mark McGrath. He's a rock star. No big deal.

Oh, I thought your uncle was Mark McGrath the janitor.

I'm a custodial engineer.

Who knows?

Maybe if you become my boyfriend, Uncle Mark will let you come on tour with us

this summer.

Wait, so Gideon's gonna get to live the rock star dream?

Hope so.

Come on, babe.

He's talking to you.

Oh.

I'm babe?

Squirreling on the inside.

Okay, good. For a second there, I thought you were going to try to become

Sarah's boyfriend so you could go on that world tour.

What? I would never do that. Okay, good.

I'm going to go enjoy having Gideon out of my life.

And I'm going to go get Sarah back into mine.

Woo!

Squirreling's a lot more fun than I thought.

Ready to be your boyfriend.

What's that?

Kiss you in front of your rock star uncle?

It's a little weird, but okay.

What's that? I was just cleaning the mirror with my face.

Anyway, goodbye.

Hold on, mirror kisser.

Is that your disguise bag?

It says Disguise Bag.

Actually, it says Disguise Bag.

Because it belongs to Disguise.

You're going to sneak into that concert and try to make Sarah fall for you just

so her uncle will take you on that world tour.

Okay, fine.

Just because I have to live out my rock star dream.

Private jets, backstage passes, all you can eat shrimp.

You know how much Disguise loves shrimp.

You cannot mess with Gideon and Sarah's relationship like that. It's not even a

relationship. They went on one date that we tricked them into. So I'm not

letting you stand in my way of dating the girl that I can't stand.

Well, I'm not going to let you leave.

Unless you do that.

I know it's been a whole day since we lost your blanket, but please stop

teleporting.

It's not under the table.

That new blanket looks just like Chloe's. There is no way she's going to

to tell the difference.

Chloe, we found your blanket.

Frankie! Oh, thank goodness. Where was it? It doesn't matter. Just as long as

Chloe's happy.

Do you think I'm a fool?

We were hoping you were.

No, it's not.

Yeah, it looks just like the one that we took from you.

What? What?

Goose.

Hey, start talking.

You look beautiful today. About the blanket.

Okay. I know where it is, but you are not going to believe it. Colossal has

Yes, dear.

Ah, you guys are just in time to watch my snuggle party.

Snuggle, snuggle, snuggle, snuggle.

Colossal, give us back that blanket or... I'll take it from you myself.

Barb, I already tried. And if Thunderman can't open that cage, no one can.

No fair. You have electrical powers.

Here you go, Chloe.

teleporting all our furniture to... Where is it?

Abu Dhabi.

Blankie made me a monster. Here, you keep it.

Oh, Blankie! I missed your soft touch.

Chloe, we are so proud of you. But we're even more proud...

of luxury box seats to his concert. Your uncle's so cool, my uncle lives in our

garage.

It's cool, bro.

I'm a roadie. Yeah, the band asked me to come up here and see if I could check

out the acoustics.

Oh, no, this is not good.

Could be a while.

Hey, chef bro.

You seen the cute redhead? She's about this tall and this crazy.

Yeah, she's here with someone. You should go kiss a mirror.

Chef, bro, you're my sis.

That's right, Mac. How'd you beat me here?

Because I didn't waste an hour at the wig depot.

I also had to go to the sleeveless shirt check.

Okay, well, now you can go away and leave the happy couple alone.

I'm not going anywhere until I win back what's -her -face.

Believe me, no choice.

You want beef?

You got it.

That was a veggie burger, you fool.

A roadie chef fight? In every...

No, you both need to listen.

Sugar Ray?

Well, the band's named Sugar Ray, but I'm Mark McGrath.

Mark McGrath?

Listen, I've toured around the world and I've seen a lot of things. And I see

what's going on here.

You ladies are clearly in love with my niece's date.

I'm sorry, that's definitely not it.

Don't talk.

Just look. This is the best view of the stage.

Why watch the stage when I have a front row seat to your face?

You just bought yourself a nose kiss.

You can't stop that dorky passion.

Mark McGrath's right.

Mark McGrath sure is.

They fell for each other.

I can't stand in the way of their nerd love.

Oh, man, look at this place. So sorry about the mess.

Ah, don't worry about it. It'll get cleaned up by the other Mark McGrath.

Maybe you're the other Mark McGrath. Did you ever think of that?

All right, let's get out of here before Gideon and Tara recognize us.

Guess it's time to kiss my rock star dreams goodbye.

But wait, before you go, I have got something for you.

Your guitar?

Better.

How did you know?

Mark McGrath.

It's what I do.