All language subtitles for tales_of_the_unexpected_s07e09_sauce_for_the_goose

What was that terrible noise, darling?

A pile of stuff fell off a shelf in the
cellar. I pulled just a little bit on a

clothesline and nearly had my skull
crushed by a sewing machine.

Those things do happen.

Have you been up to that shelf or
anything lately?

Oh, no. Why?

Because, well, everything was poised to
fall, darling.

Are you blaming me?

Blaming your carelessness, yes.

I arranged those suitcases up there, and
I'd never put them so that they'd fall

at a mere touch.

Now, I'm not saying... Blaming my
carelessness?

Now, what I'm getting at, my dear, is
that you want something to happen to

whether you realize it or not. But
you've got to be more careful, Olivia.

Oh, darling, please don't cry. I'm
trying to help. I'm not criticizing.

I know, Lauren.

You're good.

But my life, it doesn't seem worth
living anymore, I suppose.

I don't mean that I'm trying to end my
life.

You are.

Still thinking out of your heart.

That young man, Stefan.

You made me promise not to think of him.
So I have it.

I swear it, Lauren.

I can't help it. I still love Stefan.

She's done it now.

She probably got and killed herself.

I'm coming, darling.

I'm coming.

Think he's dead, Olivia?

Appears to be.

Well?

He's dead.

Finally got him. We must have used every
trick in the book.

I'd say this one looks pretty
accidental, wouldn't you?

No one could prove it wasn't.

I must go. Oh, couldn't you stay for a
little while, Steph? You'll have to

the police.

Well, I know. I just thought that
perhaps before I called, we might...

I can't. I have a rehearsal today for a
very important audition.

Oh.

It's a fantastic part. If I get it, it
will do wonders for my acting career.

I want to be your career from now on,
darling.

Olivia, acting is very important to me.
Now, you know that.

Yes, Stefan. I do.

I'll try to be more patient.

Please forgive me.

I do, Olivia.

When will I see you?

Next Thursday in front of the plaza,
usual time. Not till next Thursday.

But, Stefan... Olivia, I have a full
schedule of rehearsals. But... Olivia,

promised to be patient.

I love you, Stefan.

Love you too, Olivia.

I was upstairs in bed reading when I
heard a terrible crash.

I came down and found poor Larf. It was
terrible.

I warned him so many times, but he was
careless, forgetful.

Apartment 5.

Aye, aye, that I did. An order of fried
rice.

Some beef lo mein.

Egg foo young.

And some egg foo young.

Lots of duck sauce and hot mustard.

Right.

Lunch break.

I'll let it ring.

I can't. It might be an agent, a
producer. It might even be a part of the

Broadway play.

Hello. Hello, Devin.

Olivia, darling, how extraordinary.

I was just this moment going to call
you.

Don't you remember? We had a date today
at the plaza.

Ah, a date today at the plaza. No, I
didn't forget. As a matter of fact,

just what I was going to call you about,
Olivia, my darling.

Olivia, my darling.

No, that was not a woman you heard. That
was just an actress.

Olivia, look, let's just start fresh.

Sweetheart, let's make it tomorrow. Same
time, same place, okay?

Really, Stephen?

You must learn to be more responsible.

It takes over an hour on the train to
get to town.

All right.

They say she's not a woman.

She's just an actress.

That's enough.

Who's Olivia?

A woman friend, a patron of sorts.

Is she rich?

Her late husband had all the money.
Depends on what he did with it.

Do you love her?

Who loves anybody anymore?

Let's just say I appreciate her.

As much as you appreciate me?

As much.

But for different reasons.

Must be the Chinese food. I'm starved.

Olivia, you have no right to suspect me
of anything more than diligently

practicing my art. What you see here is
the second act of a new bedroom farce

that may star Stephen Shaw next season
on Broadway.

He's telling the truth, honey. We are
rehearsing a bedroom farce.

You ordered Chinese food, lady? No, I
did not order the Chinese food. Olivia,

Olivia, now you must believe me. It was
a rehearsal, just a rehearsal. If I get

this part, well, it's what I have
dreamed of.

And, Olivia, I've also dreamed of
someday sharing a life with you.

Hi, mister. You ordered Chinese food?

Yeah.

If that's true, Stephen, then let's make
that someday soon.

The millions of dollars I inherited mean
nothing without you.

You really love me?

With all my heart, my love.

Great rehearsal, Steph. Don't forget me
if you get the part.

and you make me so happy.

I want so much to make you as happy.

Let's take a trip around the world.

It'll be our honeymoon.

Wonderful. I would love to travel
Greece, Africa, Asia.

Speaking of Asia, would you like some
egg foo young?

Egg foo what?

Young, dear, egg foo young. It's a
Chinese dish. Would you like some?

Certainly not. I detest Chinese food.

That's $18 out of $50.

Keep the change.

Thanks. Oh, Stefan, you are so awful.

Can't you control yourself?

I guess not.

I've suffered nothing but humiliation
during our honeymoon.

Except for the time in Singapore.

You never once looked at me lovingly.
And you only did then because you paid

that Korean bookie who owed $4 ,000.

You don't love me at all, Stefan.

I think you're being insensitive,
Olivia.

Oh, insensitive indeed.

What about that little cool cabbie you
just tipped?

$32 of my money.

Your money means nothing to me. Why is
it so cold in this house? Because the

heat's been off.

Can we turn it on? That's exactly what I
was planning to do this moment.

You ought to be more careful, Olivia.

Accidents like that, I'm told, can be
fatal.

Stay away from me!

Olivia, you don't think that I would
push you. You had an accident.

And accidents are...

Glorious sweetheart, it is Stefan. I am
desperate. I must see you.

I miss you something awful.

Sounds like your marriage was a big
mistake.

Beyond big, I'd say the mistake was
colossal.

Well, if you feel miserable, why don't
you just leave?

Are you insane, part with all that
money? I mean, how often does one get to

millionaire?

Well, if it's the money you want, why
are you calling me?

Because I want you as well.

I am miserable without you.

But you can't have everything, Stefan.

Why not? I mean, who says so?

Me, for one.

Because I'm not just going to hang
around waiting for Stephen Shaw.

I mean, there are a lot of guys who are
just as desperate as you are to be with

me, you know. I mean, I'm very fond of
you, Stephen, but if you're not

available, well... I will be soon. I've
got a plan.

We'll be together, darling. I promise.

of mine!

I love you, Gloria.

Sure you do.

You crazy, mixed -up kid. What do I have
to do? Pull a star from the sky to

prove it?

Stop with the movie dialogue, Stefan.

You told me on the phone that if I came
down here, you'd give me something very,

very special.

So far, all we've been doing is fooling
around.

Fooling around?

Is that how you describe my kisses?

Stefan, I didn't drive 50 miles just for
a little country mauling.

I'm beginning to think that you're a
loser.

Gloria, don't say that. Come on, come
on, don't do that.

There's this guy I met that wants to
marry me.

I gotta look after myself, you know.

I'm going. Gloria, Gloria, listen,
listen to me. Olivia, my wife, she's,

she's, she's ill.

So?

Very ill. So?

So, she may die soon.

We get married.

When?

After a proper period of mourning.

I meant, when do you think she'll die,
Stephan?

This merchandise is perishable.

The shelf life for lovely young ladies,
as you know, is limited.

In a few years, all the warranties and
guarantees for little old Gloria will

out. And then where will I be?

Wait a few months.

No way.

Donna wants to marry me. Next week.

I'll be thinking about you on my wedding
night, Stephanie.

Don't do anything that I call you,
Gloria.

I'm rich, you know.

Very, very rich.

I've got to think of something.

Darling, I'm terribly sorry for acting
so, well, suspicious of you.

Suspicious? When was that, dear?

Oh, when I fell on the cellar step.

Oh, you are sweet for making light of
it. But I did act rather foolishly.

Not another word, Olivia, dear. From now
on, harmony will reign upon our humble

home. And suspicion and distrust will be
banished forever.

Freezer repair, lady.

Oh, yes. The freezer's in the basement.

Hey, listen, I got a van.

Is there anywhere I can park it? You
know, so I can get a little closer.

Just around the corner.

Right.

You really are a dear, Stephan. And you,
my sweetest angel.

Sweet or a sweet.

That need is fixing, lady. Otherwise,
the freeze is working real good.

Dangerous, lady. Very dangerous.

You got to keep that automatic door
latch clear so the door on the page can

open.

If you was to walk in this freeze and
the door slammed shut behind you, you'd

freeze to death in no time. There's no
inside handle on that door.

You could get killed.

Killed?

That's right.

Happened to a customer of mine a couple
of years ago. A kid.

He left his skateboard by the latch.

I guess she never saw it when she walked
in.

Bam! The door slammed shut behind her.

When they finally figured out where she
was, it was too late.

Too late, huh?

That's right. Dead.

She was frozen like one of them leg of
lambs you got in there.

I gotta go, baby.

Darling, would you be a lovely and get
two nice steaks from the freezer for

tonight's dinner? Certainly, my dear.

I searched all over that freezer and I
couldn't find those darn steaks. Look,

I've got to go into town, sweetheart.
Would you mind getting them yourself?

Did you really look, Stephen?

Yes. Now I've got to go.

All right, Stephen, I'll find them.

Don't be late for dinner.

darling, I am so glad you could make it.

We're going to have a wonderful evening.

But is it all right for us to be
together? I mean, is it really cool with

Oh, it's definitely cool with her.

Oh,

let's get out of here. No, no, no, I
endure the rain.

You'll catch your dad the call.

Oh, no.

Thank you.