Original subtitles

I got into town on a windy day.

There was no reception committee.

Just a few kids.

They'd never seen anything quite like me before.

But I had no wish to be interviewed.

It wasn't what you'd call a big place.

No.

But big enough.

Big enough.

Do you think they've never had a stranger in town before?

They thought I was amusing.

But that was only the beginning.

Yes, sir?

We want a suite.

Suite, sir? Yeah.

Bedroom, bathroom, drawing room.

And I want a view.

I want an uninterrupted view of the entire town.

We don't have any suites left, sir.

All we have are rooms.

Rooms on their own. Yeah.

With no bath, sir? Who said anything about a bath?

I don't need a bath.

All I want is a room somewhere in the back.

The rooms in the back don't have any views, sir.

Who said anything about a view?

My dear young man, is your little town so attractive that I have to look at it?

Will you sign here, please, sir?

Number 19, sir.

Christopher Columbus.

What a way to discover.

The next day was bright and sunny.

Well, let's take a look.

Two days for a job you could do in the morning? Now, don't try that on me.

Greetings, gentlemen.

Gentlemen, would you mind?

Good trick. Now, gentlemen, I want your attention.

There, you see?

Money. Now, watch very closely.

Money into paper.

He's picked the wrong fellow, isn't he?

Paper.

Into money.

Very good.

And I'm keeping this.

My good man, what day is it? Well, it's Thursday. Thursday.

We're late.

They thought I was crazy, did they?

I'd show them if I was crazy or not.

I didn't create an earthquake, exactly.

But a considerable tremor.

Well, why not?

I was quite a remarkable fellow.

I really became quite popular.

I quickly made one or two influential friends.

They thought I was funny.

Very, very funny.

Good.

Good.

It wasn't long, see, before everybody knew me.

They were always pleased to see me.

After a while, you know what they began to call me?

Hello, Columbus!

Hello!

I became the town character.

Chewy -looking, you know.

On the tenth day then, I was ready.

Excuse me, my good man. Would I be correct in assuming that this is the

establishment where Mr. Latham conducts his business?

Quite correct, Columbus.

First floor.

Thank you.

But if you've come to see Mr.

Latham, you'd better hurry.

Mr. Latham leaves at six o 'clock.

It's five minutes to.

Time enough.

Time enough.

Good afternoon.

It's you, Columbus.

What are you doing here?

Did you want to see Mr. Latham? That is the purpose of my visit.

I'm sorry. I'm afraid Mr. Latham's just going.

Nine o 'clock sharp tomorrow morning, Miss Parker.

All right.

Well, it looks as if we're just about ready to call it a day.

But I'm Mr. Latham's secretary.

Is there anything I can do?

No, thank you. Mr.

Latham was the one I wanted to see.

I promise I'll only give him just one moment. Do you mind?

Of course not. Thank you so much.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

Columbus!

How did you get in here? Good afternoon.

Still want to know what day it is?

It's Friday.

This time I'm late.

Take a card.

Any card.

Now, Columbus... Oh, go on.

Oh, all right.

Look at it.

I'm looking.

The ace of spades.

Very good.

Bravo.

Now... Take another card.

No.

You take a card.

And another card.

The three of hearts and the ten of clubs. Oh, very good.

Very good.

I like card tricks, Columbus.

Matter of fact, I like to think that I'm pretty good at the old sleight of hand.

But there's a time for everything, and this is not it.

My dinner will be ready.

I don't want to keep my wife waiting.

Tell you what, Columbus.

You come back tomorrow when I'm not here.

You can do all the tricks you like in the morning.

Now you see it.

Now you don't.

Very good.

Now, come on. There's a good fellow. Oh, no.

Not yet, please.

I have something very special to show you.

What's this?

Handcuffs. Genuine, guaranteed.

Examine them, please.

They look all right to me. They are all right. You take my word for it.

Now, kindly, place them upon my wrists.

My wife will kill me.

There.

There.

Are they shut tightly?

They certainly are. I hope you got the key.

Oh, I need no key.

Examine them once more, please.

They're quite satisfied.

Yes, yes.

All right. Now, watch carefully.

The more carefully you watch, the more astonishing the effect.

All right. Get on with it.

I raise my hands slowly over my head, very slowly, and I count one, two,

three.

Well, that's very good.

Demand them again.

Well, they seem genuine. It's very effective.

Did you invent this?

Yes. Why don't you try? Come along.

All right.

Yeah, enlarge your repertoire.

The trick is in slowly raising your hands over your head. No, no, no, no,

no. Slowly.

One, two, three.

Jerk your hands.

Ah, you see, not slow enough in the raising, not quick enough in the jerk.

what's the knack?

Try again.

One, two, three.

No, I haven't got the hang of it. You show me again.

Now you see it.

Now you don't. Don't mind about that.

So much for magic.

What about these handcuffs?

So much for escape.

Now we come to illusion.

I take my waistcoat.

Waistcoat!

And go back.

Isn't that extraordinary?

No, I don't think it's so extraordinary.

And I don't want to see any more of your tricks. I want to understand this one,

then I want to get home to my dinner.

Ta -da!

Will you stop this crazy nonsense?

Presto. Remember, Mr. Latham. Remember what?

Me.

Remember me.

You don't, do you?

Oh.

So sorry.

What on earth are you doing? And I nearly forgot.

I'm not really as tall as this. In fact, I'm not tall.

At all.

Just medium height.

Will you stop this nonsense and get these damn handcuffs off me?

And I don't wear a top hat.

Not as a rule.

Now, Mr. Latham.

Now do you remember me?

Not even yet.

Oh, dear.

Well, then, how about now?

We're getting warmer, aren't we? But still not quite.

Well, then, what about now?

Now do you remember me, Mr. Latham?

Oh, my God.

You, you do remember me, Mr. Latham.

Wonderful. After 15 years, you remember me.

How extraordinary.

What an extraordinary memory you've got, Mr Latham.

Most people would have forgotten by now.

I mean, why should you remember the man you framed for the murder you did?

The little man who was so confused, he couldn't answer all your lies in court.

and got 15 years for the crime you committed.

What do you want?

Money?

How extraordinary you could remember me.

I'm flattered, really and truly flattered.

But nobody else is going to remember me.

I know who walked through that door a few minutes ago.

Crazy old man in a top hat and a big bushy beard. Not quite right in the

Poor old soul.

But harmless.

Oh, quite harmless.

And lots of people saw him come in here.

Lots of people.

Including your secretary.

Now, when they walk in here tomorrow morning, they're going to say, he did

That old loony did it.

You have guests, haven't you?

I'm about to show you the best trick of all.

Best trip you'll ever see.

I've had 15 years to scheme and dream and work it all out.

So now we come to my, what you might call, grand finale.

Ready? Now you watch very carefully.

Umbrella into knife.

Place point of knife just there.

And...

Wasn't that a wonderful trick?

Nobody took any notice of the little man who walked out of Latham's office.

Just in time for the 620.

It was over.

The perfect crowd.

Never in a million years would they guess that the little man who left town

day was their bearded village half -wit.

Never in a million years.