Original subtitles

Bye.

Is this about the Mariposa branch?

Yes, sir.

The Mariposa branch?

The Mariposa branch. I have a letter here.

Oh, well, this is most peculiar.

It alleges... Irregularities at the Mariposa branch.

Well, what regularities do we have at the Mariposa branch?

None that I know of, sir.

This letter states that this man... Flock, sir? Flock, yes, Flock.

Who's Flock?

Acting manager, sir. Mr. Pierce, the regular died, sir. Flock, a minor clerk

temporarily taken over the duties of the deceased manager because... Why?

He knows the computer, sir. We intend to replace him as soon as possible, of

course. This letter accuses the acting manager of irregularities.

Embezzlement. Yes, sir.

Is that possible?

It's highly unlikely, sir. However, we shall investigate at once.

I'm curious.

An anonymous letter should arrive shortly after the branch manager's

Oh, how did he die?

Mr. Pierce died of perfectly natural causes, sir. Oh, yes.

Well, I'll leave it in your capable hands. Oh, yes, sir.

A leaking ship is a sinking ship, Philbert. Yes, sir. The same goes for a

Plug up that leak. Yes, sir.

Oh, Philbert. Yes, sir.

The natural causes of Mr. Pierce's death, what were they?

He choked, sir.

Ah, on a piece of meatloaf.

Come on, eat up, Harry, otherwise you're going to be late for work.

What is this?

Oh, that's sea kelp. You know, there's nothing better to keep the system clean

as a whistle.

Remember poor Mr. Pierce?

Yes.

Gorging himself all the time on that heavy meat.

Harry,

come on, finish that sea kelp because I've got a nice soybean patty to follow.

What's that?

A hamburger for Punky.

Where is that dog?

Punky? Punky, come here, boy.

Time is money.

Harry Flock, you are not leaving the breakfast table until you finish your

soybean patty. Now, you know that breakfast is the cornerstone of the day.

quite full. Thank you, my dear. It's amazing how sea kelp fills the stomach.

Okay, Harry, now let me fix your tie.

Is it all right? Uh -huh.

But, yup.

Thank you. Now, let me look at you.

Harry Flock.

Bank manager.

Acting bank manager. Oh, sure. But that's just until they see how competent

are. Competency is seldom rewarded, my dear. What they're looking for is

charisma. Pierce with his capped teeth and his waxed mustache. Oh, sure. Mr.

Pierce had a very fine set of teeth.

But he certainly didn't know anything about his computers.

Not like you did.

Yes. Still, if one little thing goes wrong...

Nothing is going to go wrong.

Nothing much has gone right with my life.

Except you.

Oh, Harry.

It's true.

Pierce kept me a little humpback mole toiling away.

Well, all that's changed now.

There you go.

Bye -bye, honey. Bye. Have a good day. You too.

You know, I just can't get over this feeling of impending doom. What could go

wrong? Yes.

That's your right, of course. What could go wrong?

Bye -bye. Goodbye.

Pokey! Pokey, where are you?

Come here, Pokey.

Oh, my Pokey, where were you? Mama was looking all over for you.

I had your husband already.

Yes. Oops, hold on.

Here you go, Pokey. Wait till you see what Mama has for you.

Mrs. Runyon?

Morning, Peterson.

Over.

Filbert, Main Branch. This is Wheatley. Bank examiner. Mr.

Fluke. Flock. We are here to run a check.

A check? I don't understand.

There's nothing to be alarmed about. It's just a routine once over. Mr.

Flock, if you'll just produce the printouts for the past month as well as

collateral ledgers. Produce the printouts, of course.

I hope there's no suspicion of any irregularities. I've never had any

or... No, no, Mr. Blue. Flock, this is just a formality. You know our motto,

when in doubt... Check it out. I heard that, yes.

Now, if I can just, um, excuse me.

I mean, I never...

Ah, there's never been the slightest doubt of it. My books are impeccable.

no, no, Mr. Clark, I'm certain of that. There's no need to get upset.

All right, everybody.

Everybody back to your places, please.

Please.

I just can't comprehend why you... I know from time to time little... And yet

Mr. Pierce was never audited.

I've always prided myself on my property.

A small community like this, you know, the slightest hint of suspicion, rumors

spread like wildfire. My reputation's at stake. Mr. Pierce died where?

Oh, at this very desk where you're sitting now.

He just fixed himself a cup of tea.

He...

He took the last bite of his meatloaf sandwich and gagged.

Tea, anyone?

Yes, that would be nice.

He'll like this. It's herb tea.

My wife grows it in our own little garden.

Pierce, blessed soul, loved my wife's herb tea.

I think I'll forego the tea, Mr. Flock.

Well, I must... Say, Mr... Flock. You've done an admirable job. I've never seen

books so immaculately in balance.

My compliments.

It's a lovely, lovely piece of work.

Thank you. Well, Philbert, my work is done.

I wish the books and all our branches were as finely tuned as Mr... Flock's.

Well, uh, thank you for your time, Wheatley.

If they went over the books in such great detail, then they must know what a

wonderful job you're doing.

Yeah. You know, Harry, I don't think it's going to be much longer before...

Harry, honey, what's wrong?

Hmm? You barely touched your gluten cutlet.

I'm sorry. I don't seem to have much of an appetite. A visit from the bank

examiner is a very upsetting experience.

Well, that's only if you have something to hide.

You know they were treating me as if I had committed murder.

Really? Yeah.

as though I was suspect in the death of Mr. Pierce.

My goodness.

That seems awfully unfair, though.

I offered them some herb tea.

They were afraid to drink it. Afraid to drink herb tea? Yes.

You know, there's really nothing more helpful.

Of course not. There's nothing one can drink as helpful as your herb tea.

I can't imagine anybody suspecting you of killing Mr. Pierce.

Where would they get such an idea?

Another anonymous letter. It ain't got irregularities at the Mariposa branch. I

thought you told me Wheatley checked it out. He did, sir. He said that

everything was in very good order and that Flock had done a lovely job. Well,

this letter says that Flock manipulated the computer. He should have known

better that the books were too well balanced.

Is that possible?

Wheatley did say they were the most perfectly balanced set of books he'd

come across.

All right, you go down there with Wheatley again and you go over

a fine -tooth comb. And don't come back until you've gotten to the bottom of

this. It'll take Simpson with you.

Simpson, sir? The bank detective?

This letter is more explicit.

It goes into detail about meatloaf and tea.

Meatloaf and teas. There are intimations here.

Sir? A foul play concerning Mr. Pierce.

What's your opinion, Mrs. Runyon? Mr. Flock is doing an acceptable job in Mr.

Pierce's position.

Mr. Flock is a very competent operative, and with the new computers, he's just a

whiz. Mr. Grunge, what's your opinion?

I am on to him. I am on to Flocky. Wilbur. No, no, no, no. Let's hear Mr.

Grunge out. Grunge?

Well, he's supposed to be this big vegetarian, vegetarian, my foot. I have

him eat hot dogs, and more than once. Mr. Grunge is bitter.

He was in line for Mr. Pierce's job until Flock caught him in a boo -boo. It

$1 .67.

I was humiliated for $1 .67.

What's going on?

Oh, Mr.

Flock, I hope you don't mind. I took the liberty of having everyone come in

early. There's still a few minor problems to clear up. What minor

sure they have nothing to do with me. We hope not, Mr. Flock. We certainly hope

not.

Magnificent. Magnificent.

You check, read, check, and triple check.

Mr. Flock, I am genuinely impressed.

I have never seen books in such sublime balance.

Fine, then whatever problems you're having have nothing to do with me.

These should be bronzed and hung in a museum.

That's beautiful.

Now, gentlemen, if you'll excuse me, I have a lot of work to do.

Not so fast.

Simpsons, Main Branch, Internal Security.

This is Mr. Flock.

I deduced as much.

Now then, Mr. Flock.

We want to make it completely clear to you that you are under absolutely no

suspicion.

No suspicion?

You come in here questioning my fellow workers. You steal my fingerprints. You

muck around in my books. Your books, Mr. Flock?

I believe you were present when Mr. Pierce met with his unfortunate

Yes, I was. I was in the vicinity.

He had a cup of tea.

Is that correct?

Yes. Herb tea?

Yes. Your wife's tea?

Yes, yes, yes!

Why am I being subjected to this?

Look, I'm only interested in doing my job.

My sole concern is, as it always has been, for the good of the bank. Do you

I've given my best years to this bank? When I first started working here, my

eyesight was 20 -20.

Take a look at these now. Where are you? Can you see that? Look how thick they

are. The hump on my back keeps growing from toiling over the books. I wake up

the middle of the night in a cold sweat for fear that I've shorted the bank a

nickel or a dime.

There, there, Mr. Flock. Pull yourself together.

Don't you understand?

This is a very small town.

You're ruining my reputation.

Look. Look. My co -workers.

My dear co -workers, the most loyal people in the world. Just look at the

and suspicion on their faces.

Someone is trying to sabotage me.

Why? Why?

Surely your investigations have shown nothing.

Whatever you're looking for, you've either found or not found by now.

Mr. Flock, please, simmer down.

Why don't you make us all a nice cup of herb tea?

Tea?

Yes, of course.

Tell me, Mr. Flock, is this the same tea Mr.

Pierce had on the day... Yes, of course.

I'll take that.

That's my tea.

It was Mr. Pierce's tea. It was enough. It was shared by all.

Then it's time the main branch had its share.

That man took my tea.

What's the matter, Harry? Didn't you like the cashew casserole? They sent a

detective to question me. A detective.

Astonishing. Mr. Bullock has a great deal to consider. Now, if there's a

suspicion of an irregular... Harry?

Honey?

Guess what we're having for dessert.

What? Your favorite.

Avocado whip.

I don't want any.

Harry, have you been sneaking hot dogs?

Because you know what happened to Mr. Pierce with those hot dogs and that

meatloaf and... Yes, dear, yes.

Harry, it's very important under these trying times that you keep your health

up. Oh, Daisy.

You're so good to me. What would I do without you?

What do any of these have to do with the herb tea?

I have deduced, sir. Oh, you have deduced. Well, I have deduced. You're a

Yes, sir.

According to this lab report, apart from being foul -tasting bilge, Mrs.

Flock's herb tea is utterly harmless.

Dust particles, hair samples, fingerprints.

Is that what I'm paying you for?

It is standard procedure, sir.

Well, you get to the heart of the matter, man.

Well, but tell him what the heart of the matter is. The heart of the matter,

sir? The corpus delecti.

Corpus delecti. Would you check out the body?

Get in touch with the proper authorities. I want an autopsy performed

man Pierce. I will not count its petty embezzlement a murder, for that matter,

in any of my branch banks. Of course not, sir.

A leaking ship. It is a sinking ship, yes, sir. Yes.

If this man Flock has poisoned this man Pierce...

I want to know about it. Sir, the corpus delecti will be looked into.

Mr. Filbert?

Yes? We found something very interesting.

Come with me.

I have just been through the most grueling experience.

Pierce's body has been exhumed.

Exhumed? You realized we'd have to do it? The circumstances surrounding his

death? The letters we've been receiving?

Letter? Accusing you of the most extraordinary behavior.

Now, the coroner has found... What?

The coroner's found what?

Pierce.

Had two gallbladders.

Rare, the coroner said, rare. But other than that, the circumstances of his

death were perfectly normal.

As normal as a death can be when one chokes on a piece of meatloaf.

Two gallbladders.

You dug up poor Pierce's body to discover only that he had two

Well, this has been a great strain on all of us. I realize it's been an

imposition on you. I cannot tell you how terribly sorry I am, but we did have

the letters.

You have pushed me to the brink and over.

I have been maligned, abused, my character spattered with mud.

Flock, Flock, keep your voice down.

No! No, no!

on the bounds of reason. This whole dreary matter must be settled now. I'm

to finish this thing right now. Fuck, fuck. Where are you going? To the main

branch. I'm going to settle this thing. This persecution must cease. I'm going

to finish it once and for all.

Fuck.

Flock, acting manager of Mariposa Branch.

Flock. Oh, yes, Flock.

Oh, it's a nasty business, this whole thing.

Nasty business?

Sir, I have been maligned, humiliated, accused of the most outrageous crimes.

Calm down, Flock.

These little things happen, you know. I don't call being suspected of

embezzlement and murder a little thing. Look, a week ago, I didn't even know

your name.

Now I have a stack of reports on you, and it seems you're doing a bang -up job

for us out there. No more.

What? As of this moment, I resign. My career in shambles, my life in ruin. Do

you know that my own co -workers look at me like I'm a common thief? Or worse,

I'm a young man. I have a wife to consider.

I understand how you feel. I think a great injustice has been done to you,

I'm going to make it my personal responsibility to see that your good

restored. Impossible!

Pierce's job is still open.

Doubles.

Okay.

My hairy bank manager. Not acting bank manager, but the real thing.

From the vicious attack of a hostile fanatic has come a marvelous good.

Yes, the trouble with being an honest man is that nobody ever knows it. I

have gone years without my honesty being there.

I only have one regret.

What's that?

My last letter.

Oh, Harry, it was a masterpiece.

In it, I accuse you of being a notorious embezzler.

Well, no sense in sending it now.

No, dear, no more letters. The others quite did the job.

Sure did.

Well, tonight for dinner, I've prepared something very, very special. Tonight

for dinner on this special occasion, dinner is my treat.

Chump boots?

Oh, Harry.

Very. That's very, very wicked of you.

Yes, I know.

Mmm.

Hamburgers. Hot dogs.

French fries.

Mmm. Thank you.

Try the corn dog. Where's the corn dog? Here.

Oh, a corn dog. I bought that.

Where's the pickles?