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Zulu
I ought to warn you if you haven't read any of my stories that you may be a
little disturbed by some of the things that happen in them.
When I'm writing a short story, I'm haunted by the thought that I've got to
the reader's attention for literally every second, otherwise I'm dead.
The one you're going to see now is the first of a series based on stories that
have taken me 35 years to write.
I find them difficult to do well.
So I work slowly, about two a year.
This one was filmed in its real setting, Jamaica.
I hope you like it.
Excuse me, please. Yes.
Do I have your permission to sit here? Of course. Please, go ahead. Thank you
very much.
Splendid day, is it not? But then, of course, they're all splendid days here
Jamaica.
Jamaica. Yes, indeed.
Who, might I ask, are all these people here?
They are not hotel people, no?
No, I think they're American sailors, or rather they're learning to be sailors.
Well, I heard that their training ship arrived in port yesterday evening.
I expect this is their period of rest and recreation.
You okay?
Yes, I'm fine.
It's like filling a drink.
Good idea.
How about a rum punch?
Lovely.
What's your name?
Kathy.
What's yours?
Tommy.
You are here on holiday, perhaps?
Yes. And you?
No, no, no. It was my wife's idea.
She insisted on it.
Forced, as it were.
Is this chair taken?
No. Do you mind if we use it?
Of course not. Go ahead. Thank you.
Cigarette?
Oh, thank you very much.
Here.
Let me give you a light.
That will not work in this wind.
I'm sure it'll work.
It's American. It always works.
Always?
Sure.
Never fail.
Not with me, anyway.
Well, well.
So you are saying this famous lighter never fails. Is that what you are
That's right.
Never fails.
I promise you, it never fails.
One moment, please.
Now, just one moment.
Shall we not perhaps have a little bet on that?
Shall we not make a little bet on whether your lighter lights?
Sure. I'll bet.
Why not?
You like to bet, huh? Sure, I'll always bet.
I like to bet, too. Why don't we have a good bet on this thing? A good, big bet,
hmm? Wait a minute, I can't do that.
I'm not rich, but I will bet you five or ten dollars, or whatever it is down
here in local money.
Now listen to me.
We are going to have some fun.
First we make the bet, then we go to my room here in the hotel where there is no
wind, and I bet you cannot light this famous lighter of yours ten times
consecutively without missing once.
I'll bet I can.
Good. Fine.
So we agree on the bet?
Sure. Now you listen to me.
Outside the hotel is my car. It's a very fine car.
Jaguar.
Jaguar.
Hey, now, wait a minute.
I can't put up that kind of stakes.
Well, this is crazy.
Not crazy at all. You strike your lighter successfully ten times one after
another, and the Jaguar is yours.
You'd like to have this Jaguar, no?
Sure.
I'd like to have a Jaguar. Who wouldn't?
All right, fine. We have a bet. I put up my car.
Then what do I put up?
I never ask you, my friend, to bet something you cannot afford. Do you
understand?
Then what do I bet?
I make it very easy for you, yes?
Okay.
You make it easy.
Some small thing you can afford to give away. And if you did happen to lose it,
you do not feel too bad. Right?
Such as what?
Such as the little finger of your left hand.
My what?
Yes, why not?
You win, you take the jaguar. You lose, I take the finger.
I don't get it. How do you mean you take the finger?
I chop it off.
Chop it off?
Oh, no.
That's a crazy bet.
Let's just make it five or ten dollars.
Well, well, well, I do not understand.
You say that your lighter will light, and yet you do not agree to my bet.
So, we forget it, yes?
Might I have a light, please?
I forgot you didn't have one.
Thank you. You're from the training ship, I expect?
Yes.
Enjoying it here?
It's pretty nice.
Nice people.
Now, just let me check up on this bed of yours.
You say we go up to your room, and if I make my lighter light ten times running,
I win your jaguar.
If it misses just once, then I forfeit the little finger of my left hand. Is
that right?
That is the bet.
You know, I have studied you.
Briefly, I admit. But the way you hold the lighter, for example.
Obviously, you are right -handed.
So what use is the little finger of your left hand?
If you lose, you don't lose much. If you win, I ain't how it was.
But I think you are afraid.
What do we do if I lose?
Do I hold my finger out while you chop it off? No, no, no, no. That would be no
good. You might be tempted to refuse to hold it out. No, what I should do, I
should tie your hands to the table before we start.
And then I stand there with a knife ready to go chop the minute your lighter
misses.
Are you serious?
Well, he's a fine, healthy young man, no?
One quick chop is all right. No worry. He's all right.
But maybe you don't lose.
Maybe you win fine automobile instead.
What year is your car?
Excuse me, I, uh... I don't understand.
What year? How old is the car? No, it's very new. I buy only a few months ago.
But I see you are not a betting man.
Most Americans are not.
Could I see the car?
Do you wish to accept the bet?
There it is.
The white one.
She's nice, no?
You like?
Go on, get in.
Sit behind the wheel.
See how comfortable she is.
Well, I must say, it's a very fine car.
Wouldn't mind having it myself.
But is it worth a finger?
Well, no, of course not.
They tell me again, isn't it? They're not really serious.
I think they are.
Okay, it's a deal.
I accept your bet.
Fine. Good.
Now, we begin.
Now, look, I don't like this very much. Nor do I.
What do you want to do it for, Tommy? Is it a bet?
Yes. Good.
Now we go see if you can win this car.
Oh, and you, sir, perhaps you would be good enough to, how you call it,
Now, look here.
Sir, I would consider it a favor.
Oh, very well. I'll come along.
But I still don't like it.
Good. Now we begin.
Do you really intend going through with this?
Sure.
I don't think you quite know what you're doing.
Come in.
Ah, good.
Now, there are certain things I want you to get for me. You see, we are going to
play a little game here, so I want you to get me two, no, three things.
I want some nails, I want a hammer, and I want a butcher's chopping knife, which
you can borrow for me from the kitchen. You can get this, no?
Chopping knife? Yes, yes, of course.
You mean a real chopping knife? The kind that goes chop, chop.
Off you go now. You can get these things for me, yes?
Yes, sir. We'll try it, sir. Of course, we'll get it.
Good. And make it soon. As soon as possible, you get these things.
Look,
don't you think this joke's gone far enough?
Joke? Who make joke?
I don't make joke.
But the bet is preposterous. The bet is fair.
He accept the bet, no? It's good.
My fine, expensive automobile against his little finger.
I think it's a fine bet.
I think it's a stupid, ridiculous bet.
What'll happen if you lose?
It won't matter.
Come to think of it, I can't remember ever in my life having had any youth
a little finger in my left hand.
Observe one left little finger.
Here he is.
Here he is.
And he hasn't ever done a thing for me yet, so why shouldn't I bet him?
I think it's a fine bet.
Can't you talk him out of it?
I've tried.
Seems determined to go through with it.
Thank you.
Now, before we begin, I will give to the referee the keys to the car.
The papers, the ownership papers, and the insurance are in the pocket of the
car.
Ah, good, you have come.
I have some money for you.
And hammer, nails.
And chop, chop.
Very good. Thank you. Off you go now. Goodbye.
Now we begin to prepare ourselves.
Hmm?
First, the chair.
And now, the nails.
Put in the nails.
And now all we need is some string.
If your friend loses, we must rush him to the hospital, using that damn car if
necessary. All right.
At last we are ready.
There.
Everything is now ready.
Okay. Let's do it. You sit here.
Thank you.
Now. Put your left hand between the nails, like this. The nails are there so
can tie your hand to the table. Now you must clench the fist.
No, no, no, no. The little finger is sticking out like that, lying on the
Now I will tie your hand with the string.
Here we are.
Begin.
Around.
Around.
Around once more.
And stop.
Anyone would think he was organizing party games.
Tom, why don't you back out now? We've got still time.
Back out?
I liked this lighter ten times. I want a great car.
Where comes your light of faith?
And it could happen. He'll do.
He will. He's dying for you to lose.
I think they're good.
Excellent, excellent. Now we can begin. One moment, please.
So, now, Mr. Referee, you will please come and tell us when to start.
Are you sure you still want to go ahead with this insane business?
But of course.
And you?
Yeah.
All right.
Are you ready?
I'm ready.
And you.
White, red.
Will you please count aloud the number of times that I light it?
Yes, I'll do that.
All right.
Go ahead.
One Two
Three
Four Five
Halfway
Good everything is fine.
Now you try your lighter again
He's crazy.
Crazy. And manners.
When we were at home, he's taken altogether 47 fingers from different
And he has lost 11 cars.
In the end, they threatened to have him put away somewhere.
That's why I brought him here.
He was just a small bet.
I suppose he bet you a car.
Yes.
The white Jaguar.
He has no car.
It is mine.
And that make it worse.
That he should bet you when he has nothing to bet with.
I'm ashamed.
I'm very sorry about it all.
Well, madam, here are your car keys.
And thank heavens the whole horrible business is over.
We're only having a little bet. He agreed. There's nothing wrong with a
bet.
He has not a thing left in the world to bet with.
He has not a thing in the world.
Not a thing.
As a matter of fact, I won everything from him a long while ago.
It took time.
A lot of time.
And it was hard work.
But I win all in the end.
Yes. I want everything from him eventually.
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