Original subtitles

You're late, darling.

Don't be afraid.

You've wanted this for a long time.

I know your secrets.

I know your secret desire.

You desire.

We're going to do it again.

What do you mean, again? What was wrong with that?

Let's just say that it wasn't perfect.

Now, there is a helpful bit of direction.

It wasn't perfect.

Look, in this scene, your character is almost possessed. You weren't giving me

possessed. You were giving me a walk in the park.

Let me tell you something, Junior.

I was playing this part when you were in diapers.

And I can still play this part better than anybody else around.

The problem here is you don't know what you're doing.

Oh, well, the studio thinks that I do. In fact, they've got millions riding on

my track record.

A couple of music videos and a movie starring a robot with enough

explosives to blow up China.

Well, hell, we don't have a director here. What we have is a glorified fire

marshal. from a woman whose thespian artistry has included such film classics

S is for Satan, Dance of the Dead, and Terror Town, Part 1, 2, 3,

4, and 5.

A woman who has based her entire film career on her ability to scream while

running around in her underwear.

I have a bit of helpful direction for you, Miss McKay.

Learn how to act.

Unforgivable.

Exits have always been mom's forte. Look, Susan, go after her and try and

her down, would you please?

Sorry, not my department.

Hey, do anything, just get her back on the set.

Does she have to be alive?

There's McKay.

Understand, the crew hates him just as much as you do, I swear. We're on your

side. Please go back. If you don't, it could mean our jobs. Would you stop

bothering me?

I'm sorry.

Guess who is going to interview you on Saturday?

Not now, Jack. A reporter from the journal with a possible cover story.

Who cares?

Now what happened?

No.

I told you and the other studio executives that she's an over -the

-up hack, didn't I?

Didn't I? You mentioned you're not her biggest fan.

What, now will you let me replace her?

Are you out of your mind?

She's ruining my movie.

This is not a horror film anymore. This is turning into a Saturday morning

cartoon show. She had two days of work left. It is too late to replace her.

Well, she walked off the set.

What if she doesn't come back?

Time and money mr. Bishop now if we have to replace somebody it's not gonna be

her

You're

joking

Catherine, tell me you're joking. I mean it, Jack.

Noel can take his picture and stick it. Catherine, before I got you this part,

you hadn't had a job for nine years. I'm aware of that. If you walk out on this

part, you are not going to be hurting Noel Bishop. You are going to be hurting

the studios, and they are not going to like that very much, and it may very

be that you don't work for another nine years.

Oh, God, what have I done?

Really kicked some tail today, Mom.

What did they do on set after I left? We rapped.

And then Noel had a very long talk with that studio exec about me. Who else?

Excuse me. Mr. Bishop is here to see you, Catherine.

Show him into the library.

How interesting.

What is with you, Mom? I mean, for all you know, you're about to get the ax

here.

If they were going to fire me, the studio would have sent some lackey to do

job. Unlike the great auteur in there, I wasn't born yesterday.

This is from Essence for Satan, right? I mean, this is the knife from the

bathtub scene.

Well, you've actually seen one of my little film classics.

I've seen them all.

I've learned a lot by watching old horror films. They were so dependent

basics. Lighting, sound, camera placement, pacing.

And the acting ability of their stars.

I'm sorry about what I said to you on the set today, Catherine. I didn't mean

it.

Liar. No, really.

I... We're behind schedule, time and money. I'm just stressed.

I had no right to blame you.

Maybe I was to blame.

Maybe you should just fire me.

Catherine.

I can't make this picture without you. You are its centerpiece, its raison d

'etre. But how can that be, Noel, when all I can do is run around screaming in

my underwear?

I apologize for that. I humbly apologize.

You have my deepest respect, and from here on out, my total support.

What time is my call?

6 a .m. We start with your death scene. You know, we only see that knife of

yours once up close.

Wait.

I have a vision.

We're going to use that knife.

Slice and dice, film freaks. I'll recognize it instantly.

I mean, they'll go nuts.

If we can get special effects to dummy up a replica by tomorrow.

Susan has special effects on this picture. Susan!

Susan, come in here a moment, please. And Jack, you too.

Come on. Noah has finally had an idea that I like. He thinks we should use the

is for Satan knife in the death scene tomorrow.

You know, as kind of an inside joke.

Just a dummy with a curved handle like this and an S like this. And we need it

by 6 a .m.

No problem. You know, I bet I can get some press out of this. You mind if a

couple of reporters come by the set tomorrow?

As long as they're quiet and they stay out of the way.

You will be able to interview Ms.

McKay and take some pictures after the scene is over. So please, if you'll just

bear with us, be quiet.

Let's have some clients. Just tell me who it is.

Put your hand up here, this one here. Keep it half closed, all right?

Excellent. All right, guy.

Knife, please.

Excellent.

Excellent. Thank you.

Okay, now attach it to Catherine. Everybody, I want you to clear the set.

to get this shot, and I want to get it now.

Come on, out. Let's go.

Susan, hurry it up, please.

As if Satan was 20 years ago, you were what, two?

Five, Mother. But don't worry, I'll never tell. I keep all your secrets.

Ready, Catherine?

Four hours, Noel.

I'll cue you before we come through the door.

Sometime today, I hope.

Look, what I really came up here to say was I hope we can put what's happened

behind us and make this the best damn film either one of us has ever done.

Deal?

Deal.

Knock them dead.

You've got her.

No!

No, we're ready for the shot.

And we are rolling.

Take your time.

Slow.

Slow and easy.

Easy.

Easy, that's the way.

That's it.

That's it. Take your time. Take your time. Slow and easy, that's the way.

That's it.

That's it.

Take your time.

That's it.

Here we are, Catherine.

Here we are.

On you now.

That's it.

Take your time.

Take your time.

That was terrific, Don. You can relax now.

Randy, I want to do it again.

Only this time, I want to try something else. Catherine?

When I get to the stairs, I want to make that turn.

Oh, my God.

Get an ambulance.

Hurry. Hurry. Get an ambulance.

Get some help.

And she was.

She was dead.

But when Bill told the police that he saw me walking out of the back of the

house before we did the shot, well, that was it.

I was their prime suspect.

Now, according to the police report, you had a loud, violent

argument with the victim the day before she was killed. Yeah, well, that was

artistic differences, which we later settled.

Do you always dress like that?

Yeah.

Why?

Well, I... What the hell does that have to... Never mind. All right. Let's go.

Did you tell the studio that

you wanted her off the picture?

Yeah. What happened?

They said, forget it.

Well, you got what you wanted. She's definitely off the picture.

Yeah. And you're in jail. I know.

I know.

You need a haircut.

Yeah, well, I'm letting my perm grow out.

How's that?

I am letting my perm grow out.

Uh, the police believe that you stole...

The murder weapon from Ms. McKay's house the day before she was killed.

That's ridiculous. I didn't do it. You were in the house.

Yeah, well, so was Catherine's daughter, Susan.

Her chauffeur, butler, Aaron, whatever his name is, and her manager and live

lover, Jack Burns.

All of them were there, too.

And they had access to the night?

They lived there.

Well, you were the last person to see her alive.

I didn't kill her.

You're wearing an earring.

No, I am wearing two earrings. Are you going to be my lawyer or not?

Well, I, um... I gotta

tell you the truth. I ordinarily go by instinct on

these things, but, um...

I've got to be honest with you. I'm having a problem.

I'm innocent.

Well, I hope. I hope.

How can I best put this?

You're strange.

Well...

Welcome to Hollywood.

Terrific, you guys. Everybody,

listen up.

I've got something I want to say to you.

As you well know, Catherine McKay and I have had our differences.

But that doesn't change the fact that she was a star.

She'll be remembered for a long, long time. And so will our picture.

Now, no matter what you heard, I had nothing to do with her death.

He's going to need some information, which means he's going to be questioning

some of you.

Oh, there he is now.

Everybody, Ben Matlock, the world's greatest lawyer.

Welcome, Ben.

Oh, this is Conrad McMaster.

We work together. He's an investigator.

How you doing, Conrad?

I'd appreciate it if you'd give them both your total cooperation.

Now, what are we waiting for, ladies and gentlemen? Let's get back to work.

Would you look at the way that guy's dressed?

He's wearing a ponytail and he's got two earrings on.

Is there something you want to tell me?

I mean, this is not like you.

Let me put it this way.

The studio is spending $10 million.

They can't afford not to finish it.

They can't finish it without him.

So they made me my favorite kind of team.

Get out.

They let you write your own ticket.

I learned to like ponytails and earrings real fast.

That's a big one, isn't it?

Oh,

Mr. Burns.

Ben Matlock.

Look,

I got to get this stuff to my car.

They want everything out of Catherine's bus by the end of the day. I'll help

you.

Creeps. They're going to make a fortune on Catherine's picture, and they're

worried about one lousy extra day's worth.

Yeah, yeah.

This is going to be our comeback, and yours too, as a matter of fact. Boy, I'm

having a dream.

Well, Catherine's and my relationship went beyond business.

Oh, is this where she's at?

Yeah. Oh, look. Was Susan your daughter?

No, no.

From a previous marriage, long before I met her.

When was that?

Fifteen years ago. I managed her when I negotiated the first lead in the Terror

Town film.

Oh, yeah. And after that, her career took a dive, didn't it? Dive? Well, fly.

Hardly. She did four sequels.

But you're right.

After that, the offers did start drying up. As a matter of fact, the only way I

got her this film was by taking points and getting down on my knees and just

plain begging.

No bishop told me that he heard Catherine on several occasions threaten

you. Fire me? Are you kidding?

Well, listen, Catherine was a very theatrical woman. I mean, she loved

and high drama. She was always threatening to fire everybody.

Never did.

No, she was just acting.

When she was in that room by herself, where were you?

I was downstairs standing with some reporters.

And when the camera went up the stairs... I was right behind it.

You know, after Catherine and Noel had their fight, she demanded that I be on

the set at all times, and I was. As a matter of fact, I was the one that

discovered she was dead.

She always said I was never there when she needed me, and God help me, she was

right.

Guys, when you get the stuff unloaded, I want it in the shade pronto.

All right, now the question was, who didn't I see? Yeah, just before that,

Or even during the, what do you call it, when the camera guy.

Operator? Yeah, the camera operator, when he's just holding the camera. The

steady camera guy. Yeah, the steady camera.

I didn't see Susan McKay, that's who I didn't see.

Catherine's daughter.

Yeah. Yeah, I remember, as I was calling the paramedics, I'm thinking, because I

hope they get Susan away from there, you know, so she doesn't see her mom like

that. But then I remember thinking, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Where the hell is Susan anyway?

She wasn't on the set.

I didn't see her.

You know if she's on the set now?

She was here earlier, but she went home.

We're just shooting pig guts the rest of the day.

Pig guts?

This yard could use a little care.

So could the house.

I guess the butler's too elegant to do yard work.

The maid's going nuts.

Yeah. She's cleaning up the stock.

That's not the maid. That's Susan.

Hi, Susan.

She was rifling through Catherine's desk?

Yeah. Susan!

I think she was kind of upset when she saw us. I think she's gone.

That's strange.

I wonder what she was up to.

She took some letters out of this drawer.

You have any idea what was in them? Could be anything from three -year -old

bills to 20 -year -old family.

Never got rid of anything, huh?

Never.

Where did she keep the knife that killed her?

Over here.

It was supposed to use a replica.

Yeah.

You know anything about scrapbooks?

What? Scrapbooks.

1977 and 1979 are missing.

Must have lent them to someone.

Oh, oh.

Oh, hi, Susan. I've been Matt Locke. Oh, well, why don't you make yourselves at

home?

Well, as soon as this will is over, I won't have to deal with this anymore.

She scares people for a living. Oh?

Good attitude.

Oh. Got the goosebumps to prove it. You said you wanted to ask me some

questions, so ask. I've got nothing to hide.

Okay. Why were you rifling through your mother's desk?

That's none of your business. Ha, like mother, like daughter.

Uh, Susan, I know this is a difficult time for you, and I'm sorry that we have

to make it any worse, but you're going to have to tell us, and the police.

I was doing research for my book.

Uh, how's that?

My book. The book that's going to tell the world what a vain, selfish, and evil

person my mother really was.

Susan! Oh, Jack.

You're just mad because you didn't think of it first.

Uh, Susan, uh...

What was in the letters that you took from your mother's desk?

I don't know. I haven't read them yet.

What about the scrapbooks?

I didn't take any scrapbooks.

Well, two books are missing, 1977 and 1979.

That's fan magazine garbage.

See, my mother only kept the nice things that people said about her, the made

-up stuff.

I'm going to write the truth. Like hell. You hated your mother, and now you're

going to exploit her memory for money.

It's a great idea, isn't it?

Susan, nobody remembers seeing you on the set after you had that phony knife

to your mother. Why is that?

I was in her bus.

Oh, oh, now.

So that's why Catherine's things were scattered all over the trailer. You

through them, you thief.

Oh, as if you haven't been stealing from her since the day you walked in the

door.

What are you going to do now anyway, huh, you parasite?

Maybe I'll write a book about you.

Daughter from Hell.

Jack, you're going to love my book.

See, when it comes out, everyone will know you and my mother for the snakes

you really were. You write one word about me and I will sue you into the

Of course I knew Aaron. He was always right there holding Catherine's robe.

She was always cold.

Of course, she did most of her scenes in her underwear. Real pro.

Could she really scream in three octaves? I saw one of her pictures one

Absolutely. That's amazing.

Okay, so he was on the set the day she was murdered.

Yes and no. What do you mean? Well...

I was sitting at the makeup table, as usual.

You know how long it takes to put this stuff on.

Right. I know he went into the house with Catherine, but I don't remember

him come out.

He says he went for a walk.

He didn't go past me.

So what do you think?

Could he have been in the house without anybody knowing about it? Sure.

Sometimes I used to find him sitting in a dark corner, just holding Catherine's

robe and staring off into space.

The guy is very weird.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You know where I can find a telephone?

Oh sure.

Right over there.

Thank you.

Mr. Mitchell, could we step outside and talk for a minute?

Mr. Matlock, this is neither the time nor the place. It's either here or in

court.

Okay.

After that big fight between Susan and Jack, I started wondering what was going

to come of all of you.

I read the will.

Guess who gets the house?

You've seen it.

It's hardly worth killing someone for.

Property.

Prime location.

One developer said that he would gladly, gladly pay three quarters of a million

just for the land. Tear down the old house, put up a new one.

A lot of people have been killed for under three quarters of a million

I am the last.

person on earth who would have killed Catherine.

Why is that?

I was her husband.

I don't know why she mentioned a house and a will.

I get it anyway. Community property.

See, it's a little bit strange, you know.

She lived in that house with Jack Burns for 15 years.

Ours was an unorthodox marriage.

Catherine and I met in 1968.

Susan was barely two, and Catherine was still an unknown.

We fell in love.

And in my insistence, we drove to Las Vegas and got married.

But there was one condition.

I was to tell no one.

Why?

She claimed that marriage was a bad career move.

Anyhow, within a few years, our marriage was over.

At least as far as she was concerned.

But she never demanded a divorce.

And she agreed to let me stay as her chauffeur butler.

And you wanted to stay?

How could you stand it?

Not only did Jack Burns live in your house, he slept with your wife.

I loved her.

And I couldn't help but think that the reason she never divorced me and never

sent me away

It's because deep down inside, she loved

me too.

Good. I'm talking good. You're good looking. You're a good dresser. You're a

good yodeler. You're a good snoop. You're a super snoop. You really think

good yodeler? What are you two talking about? Get your hands off of me.

Oh, hi, Jack.

Why were you following me?

You knew I was following you?

Oh, yeah. Remember when I left the mortuary and I stopped and made a phone

I called him.

See, you were following me and he was following you. Why were you following

Well, I... I just... Just what?

I was just curious.

Oh, curious to see how close we were coming?

Close? Yeah. How close we were coming to the killer, to you.

To me?

Yeah.

Well, see, it couldn't have been Catherine's daughter.

And it couldn't have been my client.

And it couldn't have been the butler.

So it couldn't have been either one of us.

So as the song says.

Had to be you.

You'll never prove it.

Easy.

That's the way.

That's it.

That's it. Take your time.

Take your time. Hitchcock had one like this in practically every one of his

pictures.

A tracking shot so long and complex it boggles the mind.

Great, huh?

Makes me a little dizzy.

Could I see the last few seconds over again?

Sure.

Could I have the last few feet, please?

Okay, fine.

Can I see one of those copies of the police letter?

Mr. Burns, how did you get into the business?

I mean, what were you?

before you teamed up with Catherine McKay 15 years ago?

I was the publicist.

Then I went into business for myself as a talent manager.

Oh, I see. So you managed other actors' and actresses' careers.

That's correct.

Well, what happened to those clients when Catherine signed with you? I

them. Why?

Catherine wanted me to manage her career and hers alone, which was fine with me.

She was a big star. I could make more money representing her than representing

all my other clients combined.

Yeah, well, yeah, I guess so. But it seems to me the problem with a

situation like that is that you put all your eggs in one basket.

So if her career dropped, then your career would drop too. And

that's... Exactly what happened, isn't it? We shared some rough times, yes.

So this picture was your comeback as well as hers, wasn't it? And once she

started raking in the big money, why, you would too.

Or, uh, would you?

A few weeks, uh, before Catherine died, uh...

You started talking to other actors and actresses about handling their careers,

didn't you? So I talked to a few kids about managing their careers. So what?

Well, for one thing, it might indicate that Catherine was not planning to share

her fame and fortune with you.

As a matter of fact, she was going to fire you, wasn't she?

No. Catherine wouldn't have done that. We were in love.

Yeah. Yeah, well, there's still no reason not to hedge your bets and

yourself, is there?

But, you know, you had another problem there. I mean, you had been out of

circulation for 15 years.

I mean, how did these people that you approached react to the idea of your

handling their careers?

They weren't interested. Not interested.

So if Catherine... had fired you, you would have had a rough road to hoe to

back on your feet, wouldn't you? I mean, here she had her comeback, thanks to

you. And what did you get out of it? I mean, nothing.

Make you mad?

That is not the way it was.

Oh, I think it was.

I think it made you mad, and I think you killed her.

I have an alibi for the time of the murder, and you know it. One of your

was to generate publicity.

before, wasn't it? Yes.

Did you ever stage any publicity stunts?

I staged press conferences and photo ops, things like that. No, no, I'm not

talking about that. I'm talking about old -fashioned, headline -grabbing, no

-hold -barred stunts like 1977, 79.

When Catherine's career was really dragging bottom and she needed every

press she could get. I don't know what you're talking about. Of course you do.

Like in 77.

You got the press to believe and the public to believe that she was being

hostage in a hotel room by a crazed fan.

She was held hostage.

The police ruled it a hoax. No man was ever found or arrested.

And in 79, at a famous producer's house, At a well -attended party, you had

her fall into the pool and pretend to be drowning so you could jump in, drag her

out, give her mouth -to -mouth resuscitation, pretend to save her life.

no stunt. She almost drowned.

And so that's why you took those two scrapbooks, 1977

and 79, out of Catherine's library so that nobody would read them.

And remember the kind of stunts you used to pull. Start drawing parallels

between them and Catherine's death.

What in the world are you talking about?

Okay.

You told her to pretend to be dead that day, didn't you?

You told her not to move a muscle when Noel yelled cut.

You told her to let everybody believe that she was already dead.

So that when the paramedics, the police, and the press all stormed into that

room, she could sit up and scare the hell out of everybody.

You convinced her it was a good stunt. And she believed you. Only when you

sounded the alarm and everybody left the room to get help, you stayed.

And you killed her, didn't you? I did no such thing.

You can't prove a word of this. Not one word.

I can.

And if the court will permit a short demonstration, I will.

Proceed.

Now, these copies of the police photograph

of the body have been marked People's Exhibit 2.

Pass them along, please.

Now, it's not a very pretty picture, and I apologize for that, but it's

important that you look closely at the position.

of The Night Handle. We're over. Now, this

strip of film has been marked People's Exhibit number one.

This few feet is the last scene in Catherine McKay's life.

There, the camera's moving up.

There she is. There still is death. Freeze the frame.

All right.

Now, she looks like she's dead, but she's not dead.

You have to remember, Catherine was an actress.

She had played this death scene dozens of times. She knew how to not move a

muscle, not breathe.

We know she's alive because of the position of the

knife handle.

See, the knife handle here is facing her feet.

The knife handle here in the photograph is facing her head.

This one is fake.

This one is real.

She was going to drop you.

I mean, just like that.

After all those years of devotion.

Just drop you.

And it made you mad.

And you thought of this marvelous stunt.

And while everybody was out of the room, except you and she, before she knew

what you were doing, you removed...

the prop knife from her chest.

And plunged the real one through her heart.

Which explains how the handles got reversed.

She deceived you.

And you killed her.

Nothing further.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

Case dismissed.

You were terrific. You too.