Original subtitles

Do I look good, my dear?

Do I look good today?

I'm just another kind of girl.

And you want...

So you're saying you can knock people out just by squeezing their inner elbow?

Yeah, it's easy. Easy for you.

It is. Look.

You put your thumb right here, and these fingers on the back of your elbow, and

then you just apply transverse pressure.

Like this?

No. Oh, here, watch.

Oh, so you just push down with the thumb.

No, it's more like you push in and then across.

That's Tiffany for my French class.

Oh, yeah.

Cool earrings.

Oh, hey, Dean Rivers. Hello.

Dean Rivers.

Kids, this is my wife, Tipper.

Hi, I'm Quinn.

Mrs. Rivers.

Nice to meet you.

She just loves her new eye, Barry.

Oh, my God.

You know that scarf I saw at Dorfberg?

The one they said didn't come in green?

It does come in green.

I am going to get that sales lady if it is the last thing I do.

What's this about?

Ethan, hey, hey, what's going on? The coffee carts. They're having half -price

day. Half -price on coffee drinks?

Coffee, smoothies, muffins, half -price on everything. I gotta go.

Wow, half -price coffee.

Well, if you ask me...

I say kids today are way too obsessed with...

A hundred kids freaking out over the half -price sale.

Bullhorn!

Attention! Attention all PCA students.

From this day forward, I hereby ban all coffee carts from this campus.

What? No.

You can't ban the coffee carts.

I just bought a new mug. Then fill it with chowder.

Chowder? Anybody caught on this campus with coffee will be...

to students, teachers, everyone.

Can I get you anything?

Yeah. A new life.

Move!

Chowder?

Dang it.

Who says dang it? People who grew up in the South. Who cares? I want coffee.

Yeah, I wouldn't mind a decaf icy blend.

Watch this.

I win again.

Well, yeah.

Girls.

Special girl.

Hey.

What? lips taste like... Uh, let's talk over there.

We'll be right back.

Keep it down, would you? You taste like coffee. I understand.

How? Because I've been drinking coffee. But there's no coffee on campus.

Isn't there?

Where?

No way. You can't tell people. Yeah, yeah.

Password? What password?

Just let us in. You big meathead.

Names? Zoe, Lola, and Quinn.

Wait here.

Go ahead.

Thanks for stopping by.

Hey, Logan, we got a situation here. Be right back.

What's the problem?

He wants sugar for free. For free? Yeah.

You're charging me nine bucks for a large coffee, and now I'm supposed to

another buck for sugar?

You don't like it? Go buy your coffee somewhere else. There is no place else

PCA. You want the sugar?

You want to buy a muffin?

No.

Sorry. So what can I get you?

$9 for a cup of coffee?

Kind of pricey.

You can get a medium for $8 .50. But the PCI coffee carts didn't charge nearly

that much.

Oh, well.

Um... You're not

going to charge me, are you, baby?

Yes, I am.

Where? Boyfriend and girlfriend.

I know, but business is business.

Where's Jane?

Don't know. You want coffee or not?

We're not going to pay your freakish prices.

Then no coffee for you.

Wait, how are you selling coffee? Where are you getting it from?

I have a connection.

I'll get us some.

Hi, Michael.

Hey, Lola.

One large coffee?

Can do.

That'll be $9. No problem. I got a $10 bill right in my... Tell me, Quinn,

go! Right behind you.

JT, you know what to do.

The PCA has to deal with stupid Logan. What are we going to do about that? I

don't know. Get a part -time job so we can afford Logan's prices?

Yeah, I don't do jobs.

Hey, my uncle just married a lady who runs a coffee shop in Seattle.

You think she'd send us coffee?

Hot chocolate, please.

How much for lunch?

Four dollars.

Really? Ah, you know, Logan's charging nine bucks for a large.

You're cheap.

Well, we're not.

Your coffee.

Your four dollars.

Thanks. Thank you.

Hey, there's like eight more kids outside who want to come in.

Uh, okay.

Let them in. Cool.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Zoe. Hey, Zoe.

Hey, you got room for one more thirsty piece of gay stew?

I

don't

get it.

What happened?

People stopped coming here to buy coffee. I know that.

I want to know why.

I'll tell you why.

Zoe Brooks is selling coffee in her dorm for less than half of what we're

selling it for.

Zoe?

James, did you know about this?

Sure. So why didn't you tell me?

Because it's fun when you're mad.

I told you we were charging too much. Yeah?

Well, everybody was happy to pay us until Zoe stole our customers.

Where'd you buy that?

From Zoe.

Hey, they had cinnamon.

Look, let's just lower our prices, and then we'll get all our customers back. I

got a better idea.

I'm going to eliminate the competition.

Yeah, Dean Rivers, please.

What are you going to say?

Yeah, Dean Rivers, I think I have a little information you'd like to know.

It's about coffee on campus.

See?

James! Hey, James! Stop the game! Hey, James!

Hey! James!

My roommates.

I gotta talk to you. Excuse me.

What's up?

Logan dropped diamond on Zoe.

Dropped diamond? It's a cool street term.

It means he turned her in.

All right, just catch your breath and tell me what happened.

Logan called Dean Rivers and told him that Zoe's selling coffee and muffins

such in her dorm room.

Take my place in the game.

But these aren't my hoop shoes. I can't play basketball.

Michael!

Hey,

how's your game going?

Dean Rivers is on his way to your dorm.

What? You better shut down fast.

I'm on my way.

Thanks.

I don't know.

Keep it alive.

Don't trust.

And he came upon the clearing and saw the glorious fields beneath him and

proclaimed, Gaze upon this place from whence those before us frolic, and let

give thanks for the bounty that has been bestowed upon us.

Um, excuse me.

Shh, this is my favorite part.

And so the people rejoiced and feasted upon the blessed fruits.

The blessing proves.

Then raise their voices in song, praising their homeland.

Sorry about that, Dean Rivers. What do you mean?

Um, I got a phone call saying that...

Never mind.

Hey, can I get another large coffee? I need a medium decaf. Do you guys have

more of those fat -free muffins?

Hey, hey, you guys.

We gotta close down for a few days.

What?

How come?

Are you kidding? Logan told Dean Rivers on us, so he's gonna be all suspicious

now.

She's right.

Yeah. Get out!

We'll open back up in a few days after things cool down. But for now, leave.

Thanks for warning us.

Hey, what are boyfriends for?

Aw. This is no time for cuteness. Now Logan's going to get all of our

No, he's not.

But don't you think everybody's going to... He messed with our business, so

we're going to mess with his.

How?

How, Quinn?

Well, um, I have been working on extending the range of my zap watch.

What's a zap watch?

No more questions.

Nice to see you, Jeff.

Hey, Gordy, how's that French rose?

Alison, nice sweater.

It's awful.

Hey,

what'd I tell you? We're back in business, my friend.

Yeah, but why'd you have to raise prices?

Because I can.

Hey.

Okay,

guys.

Is James there yet? Let me check.

Yep. James just walked in.

Okay, he touched his forehead.

We're good to go.

That

thing

scares me.

It won't, like, hurt anybody, will it?

Not too bad.

Did you get it?

Yep. Targeting another one.

Hold still.

Hey, my cup's leaking.

Yeah, mine is too.

Hey, don't drip coffee on the carpet.

It's not my fault.

And down.

Yeah. Hey, this is kind of fun.

Keep zapping.

So are you.

I am flabbergasted.

Flabbergasted!

You understand me?

What don't you understand, Logan? What flabbergasted means?

It means I am shocked.

and outraged that you kids would defy PCA rules and run two illegal coffee

right under my nose.

I banned the coffee carts for a reason, and I expect my rules to be respected.

Well, what do you have to say?

None of the kids at PCA think it was fair of you to ban the coffee carts in

first place. Who asked you?

You just did. Don't twist my words.

When I ban something from this campus, it's banned.

For you, for me, for everyone.

And what is this thing?

I wouldn't touch that.

I am the dean of this...

Nothing.

Let's forget about this whole thing. Dismissed.

My goodness.

Just leave that alone.

Dean Rivers, that isn't coffee, is it?

It looks like coffee.

Smell my coffee.

I am dabber -flasted.

I am shocked.

I think Jeremiah Trotman might be very interested to know that the dean of PCA

violated his own coffee ban.

What a great story for the PCA News.

I don't think we need to involve PCA News.

Why don't we just pretend that none of this ever happened?

Sure.

Right after you make a little announcement.

Attention, PCA students and faculty.

After rethinking the situation and my somewhat hasty decision,

I've decided the PCA coffee cart ban is over.

One grandiose javacino, $3 .50?

One grandiose javacino.

Sure!

$400. What?

I'm not paying you $400!

If you don't like it, go buy your coffee somewhere else.

Come on, dude.

$400. Or, no coffee.

There is no way I'm...

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