Original subtitles

Are you ready?

Ooh, I know you see me standing here.

Do I look good, my dear?

Do I look good today?

Ooh, I'm just another kind of girl.

And you want to see my world.

Believe in yourself, don't follow me.

I just checked my to -do list and I forgot to write my history paper.

How'd you forget?

I forgot to check my to -do list.

Well, if you're not going to check the list, what's the point of having...

Quiet, Delphiglo.

Mola, he was giving me lip.

Just tell your teacher you couldn't write the paper due to global warming.

It's what you do these days.

Just blame everything on global warming.

Global warming could be a positive thing.

You get to wear shorts all year round.

Guys get sweaty, take off their shirt. All the earth's water dries up.

So we drink lemonade.

The cafeteria ladies overcooked my hamburger.

Well, don't blame them.

Global warming.

Global warming. Of course.

Warming. Global.

Bad news, dude.

I hate news when it's bad.

What's wrong?

What does it say?

Me and Logan are getting our new roommate today.

You sure showed that cob.

It's not funny.

Why did that housing lady have to find out Chase left?

And make us get rid of our hot tub.

I miss our hot tub.

Remember the good times?

Oh, the noodles.

Well, maybe you guys don't like your new roommate.

You know his name?

James Garrett.

Jimmy Garrett.

Sounds like a loser.

You can't judge a guy by his name.

Yeah, you can.

Logan Reed.

Cool name.

Cool guy.

Mark Del Figolo.

See?

You just insulted me, right?

Stop clacking. I can't. When I'm nervous, I gotta clack.

Ow! I hate this toy so much!

I got him.

What'd you find out about our terrible new roommate?

Uh, it says here that in the eighth grade, Jimmy Garrett went to Woodcliffe

Middle School in Santa Fe.

That's in New Mexico.

I know where Santa Fe is.

Click your little mouth.

Let's see what he looks like.

No!

He's a doof.

Wait, wait.

Click on that other picture of him.

No!

I mean, I knew it. I knew our new roommate would be a doof. A nerdy little

A doof doof.

We've got to go to the housing office and tell that Miss Burbage we're not

rooming with Jimmy Garrett.

To Burbage.

I

hate

waiting. I wish I had my clacker balls.

What are you doing?

Air clacking.

Hey, you guys got a pen, pencil I could borrow?

Yeah, sure.

You know, they should let us pick our own roommate.

Yeah, not stick us with some nub like Jimmy Garrett, nerd.

Oh, pardon me.

I'm Jimmy Garrett.

Oh, lookie.

I got tickets to the comic book convention.

You're going to serve us hard -boiled eggs and juice.

Hey, hey.

You want to play extreme checkers?

Michael Barrett, Logan Reese, he wanted to see me.

You bet we do. That's right.

This dude you're trying to stick us with, Jimmy Garrett?

Actually, he goes by James.

Well, we looked James up online.

And?

Loser. Boys.

My father donates a lot of money to this school.

Bunch of money.

Boys. And we're not putting up.

With anything.

Miss Burbidge, Mr. O 'Connor asked me to fill out these papers for you. Thank

you, James.

No, we demand that you...

Your?

So, how do you play extreme checkers?

So you guys are pretty psyched about me moving in here, right?

Okay.

I'll be back in a few with the rest of my stuff.

No, no, thanks. I got it.

Well, at least you're not as goofy looking as you used to be.

Dude, that's worse.

How's it worse?

Because he probably thinks he's all hot.

What? You afraid of a little competition?

No. I just don't want to live with a guy who's all conceited and full of

himself.

Whew.

Is it getting ironic in here?

I... I just... I... I don't want any

part of that guy. I don't either. Let's just... He's back. He's back.

I'm back.

Good for you.

There you go, buddy.

Knock, knock.

Don't do that.

Hey. What's up?

We wanted to know if you guys wanted to play some...

Uh,

Michael, did you want to introduce us? Not really.

I'm James, their new roommate.

Why are you guys here?

Uh, we, uh...

Uh, we... Why'd we come here?

Uh, basketball.

Great, basketball.

We were going to ask you guys to play.

James, would you like to come play with us?

What's wrong with you guys?

Nothing. Why?

Hey, I don't need a bunch of girls staring at me through my

window.

Get out of here.

So?

Let's play.

I hate him.

Hey, hey, you girls.

Seriously, who do you think's better looking? Me or this guy?

Oh, my God. Who is that?

He is so hot.

What is the matter with you people?

Look at my face. I have perfect features.

My hair is all... I wasn't done with them. They were done with you.

Why do girls freak out over this? No.

Who knows why girls do anything?

Why do they cover their mouths when they're all surprised?

Can't you just be surprised without doing this?

Hey.

Hey.

I was wondering what the best place is to get some lunch on campus.

What are we?

The PCA Student Information Bureau?

Do we look like pamphlets?

Sorry, I was just thinking maybe the three of us... How many dates do you

week? Huh?

My average is three.

Three dates.

Wow, that's cool for you.

Hey, what you guys up to?

Well, Logan here's up to three dates a week.

Are you mocking me?

Yeah, a little bit.

That's not funny.

He laughed.

Hey, you don't know what I did.

Come on, Logan.

Let's go get some cheese.

Just the two of us, which is all we need.

Two cheese.

Yeah, they really make me feel like family.

Don't let it bug you. Michael just visits his hot tub, and Logan's a...

Conceited jerk?

You catch on fast.

Yeah, well... Hey, what's a good place to get some lunch on campus?

Oh, you want to have lunch?

Uh... Oh, you weren't asking me to have lunch with you.

Yeah, but if you're hungry... We don't have to. No, I mean, I know we don't

to, but if you want to have lunch together... Sure.

Sushi Rock is just up the hill, if you don't mind hills.

Or sushi.

You don't like sushi?

I love sushi.

Show me the hill.

To the hill.

Sure, what's up?

Well, as you know, I'm really into astronomy.

I know.

Okay, so my three favorite planets are Mars, Uranus, and Saturn. I love Saturn.

My best friend is my telescope.

Start talking!

Wait a minute! How long?

What do you mean? You know what's all over campus?

What's all over campus? How could you not tell us? Tell you what?

That you and James are dating!

We are?

We're your best friends.

I'm not dating James, okay? We're not dating. There is no dating going on

between me and James.

Okay, what are you trying to say? Just tell us.

Ow! Hey!

Did that shake your brains loose a little bit?

Maybe they're not dating.

Then why does everyone on campus think you and James are a thing?

I don't know. You tell me. All I did was have a 45 -minute lunch with him at

Sushi Rock.

What, one spicy tuna roll and now I'm in a serious relationship?

Hello?

No, I'm not dating Jane.

We just had lunch together. And how did you get this number?

Who started this rumor?

Maybe it was Jane.

But why would he? It makes perfect sense.

He starts a rumor that you guys are dating, then you hear about it, and I

know where I'm going with this.

Yeah, it doesn't make sense that he would have started it.

Oh, my God.

Did you start it?

Okay, so we know it wasn't you.

Well, I gotta go find James, because I don't want him to think that I was the

one who was...

What are those?

Clackers. They're awesome.

Ow!

What

you

doing?

Leaving.

You leaving PCA?

No, just this room.

Oh.

Well, why?

It's pretty obvious you and Logan don't want me here. And... I don't want to be

somewhere I'm not wanted.

Wait.

Who are your new roommates going to be?

Just me.

I'm moving into a single.

3A. 3A?

That's like the worst dorm room on campus.

Well, it was the only one left.

So, whatever.

Take it easy.

Hey, way to go, dude.

Nice man.

Dude, you are my idol.

All right.

Um, hi.

Hey. Can we, uh... Sure.

Uh, what's up?

Um, have you heard that we're dating?

No. We're not, right? No.

But somehow this whole campus thinks we are.

Ah.

That would explain things.

So, do you have any idea?

Uh, maybe people saw us at Sushi Rocks?

Maybe, but I don't see how that'd make people think we're dating.

Well, we did share the wasabi.

Then we must be engaged.

I better go buy you a ring.

How many kids should we have?

Hey, you two.

Yeah.

Who started this rumor?

I don't know.

Bigfoot?

I don't think Bigfoot would do that. Me either.

I'm just glad to know that you believe in Bigfoot. Well, duh.

Okay,

I am the best.

I mean, I already knew I was the best, but... Dude, you ate all of Jane's

That's brilliant!

When he gets back here...

He moved out.

No way.

No way. Dude, this is awesome.

First I made him undateable, and now he's out of our room?

How'd you make him undateable? I started a rumor that he and Zoe are going out,

which officially takes him off the market, which means more girls for the

Come on, man.

Let's go celebrate.

Yeah, sure, but give me ten minutes.

Well, where are you... Ten minutes.

Hey, man.

Hi. I think you left your cell phone in our room.

Well, my room.

That was your room.

Thanks.

Nice room.

Yeah, not really.

But it works.

Kind of hot.

No air conditioner?

No. The housing lady said it used to be a janitor's closet, so...

No air.

Well, at least you're next to the bathroom.

That's convenient.

What was that?

Whenever someone flushes one of the toilets in there, it makes the shower

boiling hot for a few seconds.

Oh, well, how often is that?

Well, I guess the good news is... Help me out here.

Hey, I'm cool with it.

Just a room, you know?

Thanks.

Sure.

Look, James.

I'm sorry, alright?

For the way me and Logan acted.

We, uh, just kind of like having the extra space in the room.

So... Or maybe you missed Chase.

I hear things.

Yeah, well... Me and Chase, you know, we started going to PFA together

back in sixth grade.

So... I get it.

Anyway, I'm sorry.

I appreciate you saying it.

So, we cool?

We're cool.

Oh, and move back in our room, man. This place is jank.

All right.

Hey, you got any idea how this rumor got started about me and Zoe dating?

Oh, that was Logan.

Logan? Yep. He started the rumor so girls would think I'm undateable.

So you are dateable?

I'm just clarifying.

So how do we kill this rumor?

I say we go to the source.

What, get Logan to admit it? Zero chance of that.

He might.

Under the right conditions.

I'm busy shampooing. I need to talk to you. Dude!

I said I... Hi,

Logan. Get out of here!

Hi, I'm Jeremiah Chopman with the PCA News Bulletin. I'm here live in Maxwell

Hall's third floor restroom.

Oh, my God!

Where Logan Reese is currently showering and apparently shampooing. Someone call

the police!

Zoe Brooks, you alleged that it was Logan Reese who started the rumor that

and new student James Garrett are dating.

That's right, Jeremiah. We have reliable sources.

That's me.

I am a reliable source.

Logan, you have ten seconds to admit that you started the rumor and that it's

lie. Leave me alone.

curtain moving. If you don't admit what you did, bye -bye curtain.

You wouldn't dare.

Yeah, we would.

Whoa, what happened?

Ten, nine, eight, seven. Hey, can I change the channel?

No. Four, three, two, one.

I started the rumor.

It was me.

Zoe and James are not dating.

All right.

Everybody happy?

What's that pizza?

The best.

I love thin crusts. Me too. What's wrong with Chicago?

Yeah, don't get me started on the whole deep dish thing. It's just wrong.

I know, right?

Anyway, I'm glad we squashed that whole rumor thing.

Logan's just ridiculous sometimes.

Yeah, no doubt.

Hey, I hear you're in my history class.

You got Mr.

Murphy? I did.

Awesome, then I'll see you in class tomorrow.

And I'll see you.

Oh, my God.

I will make you see all the things that you can be.

Believe in yourself, come follow me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Loser!