Original subtitles

Are you ready?

I know you see me standing here.

Do I look good, my dear?

Do I look good today?

I'm just another kind of girl.

And you want to be my world.

So come and run.

Not pudding. What is this goo?

That's hummus. Well, why is the pudding pudding?

It looks nothing like pudding.

That's clearly hummus. Which is made from eggplant.

No, that's Baba Ganoush. Who is Bob Ganoush?

Wait, doesn't he pitch for the Lakers?

There's no one named Bob Ganoush.

Then why'd you say... See your pudding.

All right.

Hi. Hey, Coco. Hey, Coco.

Ooh, someone's been shopping.

Hey, I'm not in the mood for peppy cutesy.

Wow.

I'm sorry.

It's just that time of the year.

Year? For my job review with Dean Rivers?

Once a year, I have to sit in his office while he tells me what a bad dorm

advisor I am.

At least he's honest.

Oh, come on. You know you're awful.

Hey! She's not that bad.

She took that group of sixth graders on a camping trip and lost two of the boys.

They found them?

Yeah, two weeks later, huddled together in a freezing cave.

Okay, I'm the worst. We all get it. Look, you want to make Dean Rivers like

do something really nice for him.

Yeah, take him camping.

Just find out what makes him happy, then use that.

Okay. Okay.

I'll give it a shot.

Hey, that hummus looks pretty good.

Take it.

Sweet.

Hey man, let's go hoop it up. I don't feel like hooping.

Dude, Chase has just gone for a while.

He'll be back again someday.

You're making my best friend sound like Frosty the Snowman.

You gotta get over it.

Look, I don't miss Chase, alright?

Really?

What are you writing?

Nothing.

You don't miss

Chase?

Well, he's my best friend.

What about me?

You're my worst friend.

Look, I miss Chase, too. But until he gets back, let's look at the upside.

What upside?

Well, if we move that single bed out of here, rearrange stuff a little, We got a

lot of extra room.

So? Let's use it for something fun.

Like a... hot tub?

There you go.

We could have a hot tub in here.

You'll pay for it?

Uh, yeah.

That's the problem.

Why? Your rich daddy gives you $15 ,000 a month allowance.

Which I already spent this month.

On what?

On this.

What is it?

Tan Credo from Galaxy Wars.

You spent 15 grand on a movie man head?

With a certificate of authenticity.

Oh, well then.

Come on.

We're smart.

You're smart.

Let's think of a way to get ourselves a hot tub.

You're squishing my wrist.

Coco, tell him what you're doing.

Okay, Zoe, remember you told me to find out what Dean Rivers likes and then do

something special for him?

Yeah. Well, I called his wife, and she told me he loved lions.

Oh, no. Lions?

Yeah. He has lion artwork, little lion statues.

Tell them.

I put a lion in his office.

A lion? I just meant, like, give him a gift card to the pottery barrel.

So much better. And no worries. The lion's totally tame.

I rented him from Pete here.

Look, I really don't think that it was a good idea. Coco!

Ladies?

scared you. He looks so friendly in the online brochure.

You're fired!

We got us a hot tub. Yeah, we do.

Chase who?

The water's getting kind of cold.

Stand by.

Hey! The Bigelow!

More hot water!

How long do I gotta keep doing this?

Till we're through hot tubbing!

Logan Reed, Michael Barrett. Hello. What?

I'm Miss Burbidge from the housing office.

Oh, well, how you doing?

I'm fine.

I don't mean to interrupt your pool time fun, but I wanted to introduce you to

your new roommate.

Huh? New roommate?

This is Diedrich.

You've been a bug.

Oh, man. Come on.

Is there a problem?

We don't want another roommate.

There's 33 of us living here.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's me and Logan and... And Chase Matthews. And Chase Matthews.

Chase Matthews transferred to another boarding school.

No, he didn't.

Well,

according to the computer... Computers make mistakes.

That must be what happened.

Well, I guess I should go look into this.

Come along, Dietrich.

Dietrich!

Mushna? Yeah, Mushu.

I don't want to live with Mushna.

Dietrich. I don't want any new roommate.

Then we gotta figure out a way to make her think she still lives here.

I'll just take a nap.

Hello, fellow girls.

This is Mira.

Hey.

Mira's our new dorm advisor.

Oh, really?

So, you're Coco's replacement?

Uh, yeah, I guess you could say that. I met Mira before anyone.

Nice to meet you.

I'm Quinn.

Zoe, that's Lola.

Quinn, Zoe, Lola.

Got it.

Do you want to know my hobbies? In alphabetical order, they're acrobatics,

astronomy... Hey, could you talk less?

Well, it's really cool to meet you guys. If you need anything from me, call any

time. See you, Mira.

Bye.

Wow,

a dorm advisor who's normal.

And dresses cool.

And doesn't smell like bugs or ravioli.

Okay, can we stop trashing Coco behind her back?

Come on. Most people trash her right to her face.

Yeah, but I feel like I got her fired.

It wasn't your fault.

Anyways, Coco already got another job.

She did? Really? Already? Yeah. She's working at Vaccaro, that really fancy

restaurant just a half mile up PCH.

See? I bet a server there makes a ton more money than a school dorm advisor.

Good. That makes me feel a little better.

Um, Coco's not working there as a server.

Then what's she doing there?

restroom attendant?

You having a nice dinner?

What'd you order?

Steak.

Hi.

Zoe, what are you doing here?

Oh, Stacy told me you got a job, and I just wanted to come by and say hey.

Hey.

Look, I'm so sorry about what happened.

I'm not. This job is fantastic.

Yeah? Yeah, seriously, don't worry about it.

It's really great. And sometimes they'll be like... Oh, my God!

This toilet stopped up. Would you mind?

Yes, ma 'am.

Hey, Michael.

What?

Our problems are over.

You got us that special shampoo?

No. I found a way to convince that housing lady that Chase is still our

roommate. How are we going to do that?

Hey,

here she comes.

Let's do this.

His hair is fine.

Miss Burbidge! Hey!

Morning, boys.

Aloha. I'm glad I ran into you. I checked the computer, and it says Chase

Matthews transferred out of PCA. Ma 'am, there's Chase sitting right over there.

Huh. That is Chase.

Yep. See? But I just don't understand how... Chase!

Will, come over here, please!

You shouldn't interrupt him.

He's got a monster history paper due.

Let Chase study.

Well, all right.

I guess someone made a mistake.

I'll go modify the computer records since Chase is still here.

Yes. You modify.

Excellent.

And when Chase is finished... Please tell him to come by my office to sign

papers. How come? Why?

It's required for me to change the computer record.

Good day.

Well, now what?

I don't know.

Maybe we could...

Mr. Bamboo broke his collarbone.

How'd he do that?

Who cares? No chemistry.

Hey,

where's my other blue sparkly sneaker?

I don't know. I gave them back to you.

I only have one.

Well, I gave them both back. Why would I keep one shoe?

To make me crazy.

Yeah, I need to make you crazy.

For you?

For you.

Thanks. For the clipboard? Those are petitions.

If we get enough students to sign these, I think I can get Dean Rivers to give

Coco her job back.

Guys.

We like Mira.

She's a really good dorm advisor.

She baked us cookies last night.

Coco made us brownies once.

Yeah, then she ate them all and went to bed. And threw up in her sleep.

Mira's a way better DA.

I know that, but come on. It's kind of my fault Coco got fired.

Please help me fix this.

She's working in a bathroom.

All right.

Give us the clipboards.

I still need my blue sparkly sneaker back. I gave it back to you. No, you

didn't. Oh,

hey, me and my friends are having a petition to bring back Coco. Do you want

sign?

No way.

No.

Hey,

you want to sign my petition to bring Coco back?

No.

so we can bring back Coco?

Wait, you guys!

Hey, Dean Rivers?

Yeah? Um, listen, me and my roommates, we've been going around getting some of

the girls to sign a petition to bring Coco back.

I don't like Coco. She almost killed me.

But you lived, and a lot of us really want her back.

Look, Zoe, I'll admit that maybe I shouldn't have fired Coco.

She was just trying to do something nice for you. I know, but I've already hired

Mira, and the girls really seem to like her. But couldn't you maybe... Zoe,

forget about Coco.

We're all better off.

I'll catch you eventually!

Just sign the petition!

But I don't understand why Chase can't just come into my office and sign these

papers. I'm telling you, he's sick.

You can see just by looking at him.

Okay? But if he feels well enough to ride around on a Jet -X, then why can't

come into my office for two minutes and sign these papers?

Because they could be contagious.

Are you looking to catch a Portuguese head cold?

What is a Portuguese... I'm not a doctor.

Look, just give me the papers.

I'll run them over there to Chase. He'll sign them. I'll bring them back.

Everybody's happy.

All right.

BRB.

You buying it?

Here

I

am. Sign's still delivered. They're yours.

Thank you.

Well, I'm glad this is settled. And I do apologize for trying to... Oh, you're a

fine lady.

Goody, get away!

Get out of here!

What is going on? Uh, nothing.

Uh, um... Everything's hunky -dory. Just do what you do.

Get back here! That's what it really is! Hey! Hey! Frank!

He's a fake boy!

Nope. I knew Chase Matthews left PCA.

And let me tell you something, mister.

You and Logan are getting... You and Logan are getting a new

roommate!

How

many

signatures did you get? Not enough. You? Three.

I just got one.

Pianute Boutier.

Some boring kid?

That says peanut butter.

Well, he has awful handwriting.

Why'd some kid write peanut butter on your petition?

I don't know, but now I want some.

Come on, let's go get some peanut butter. Who's with me? I'll go.

Yay! Just give me a sec to brush my hair.

Okay, who took my crazy cool hairbrush and didn't put it back?

Not me.

Maybe you lost it. when you were busy not returning my left shoe.

I put your shoe back.

Back to oblivion?

I don't care. I just want some peanut butter.

Wait.

Didn't you say we're missing a bracelet?

Who? Okay, so where's all our stuff going?

There's a thief among us.

So let's go tell Mira.

Oh, yeah.

We finally have a dorm advisor that can actually help us with something.

I hope she can help me get a mouthful of peanut butter.

Will you stop? What is wrong with you?

When I was little, I only liked smooth peanut butter. But now I'm a chunky

Chunky? Well, not that way.

Mira, we got a problem.

It's open.

Mira?

Mira, you in here? We wanted to talk to you about...

peanut butter in your pocket, do ya?

How are you?

Hey, how's it going?

Girls!

Dean Rivers!

May I ask what you're all doing in my... Dealer?

Mira, can you explain why you have all these things here?

Well, of course!

I'm... Uh... I'm, uh...

On a new reality show. It's called Take the Stuff.

Mira. No, seriously. It's for Fox.

All right.

I'm sick.

I take things.

I don't want to, but I can't help it. I have a problem.

Are you going to fire me?

Well, duh.

Get out of here, you nut bar.

All right.

Oh, Coco can have her job back?

Come on.

Come on.

I can?

Really?

I'm on my way!

Yay!

Coco's a dorm advisor again!

I don't want a new roommate.

Like I do.

What if he smells weird or tries to talk to me?

Look, just because some guy's our roommate doesn't mean we have to... Hey,

that?

I don't know.

Isn't that Dean Rivers' car?

I think that's the new girl's dorm advisor.

I thought she got fired.

Me too.

Later, PCA!