Original subtitles

Are you ready?

Ooh, I know you see me standing here.

Do I look good, my dear?

Do I look good today?

Ooh,

I'm just another kind of girl.

And you want to see my world.

Thank you.

Is this a dolphin or a porpoise?

That's a trash bag.

You guys, I did it.

My latest convention work.

Uh -oh. What, the bra thing?

Uh -huh.

What bra thing?

Well, you know how some older cars don't have airbags, right?

Right, okay.

Well, now a girl can be safe in any car, whether it has airbags or not.

Watch.

All right.

That's great. Very nice, Quinn. A -plot. Or D -plot. Hey, I called the bra bag.

How cute is that?

Adorable. Genius.

So cute.

What's going on?

Hey, guys.

How do you like the new ride?

Whose car is that?

Mine. You bought this? Yep.

God, I love my dad's black United Express card. Dude, this car had to cost

300 ,000 bucks.

327 ,000. For a car?

Why? You're 15.

You don't even have a driver's license.

But I will.

And this car's a special edition.

They may not make it next year, and I had to have it.

And, uh, until you can drive, what are you going to do with it?

I'm going to make out with girls in it.

What girl's going to make out with you in a car you can't even drive?

Me!

That's the great Doheny.

Yeah, he's a magician.

The greatest magician ever.

What trick is he doing?

They tied him up with ropes, and now he's going to try and escape.

I bet you he doesn't. That dude can escape from anything.

Well, sure.

Because it's fake.

Fake? Still fake.

How can you say this is fake?

Because if someone was really tied up like that, there's no way they could get

out of it.

Yeah, you can.

You just need skills.

Skills which I happen to possess.

So you're saying if I tied you up with ropes, you could get out of it?

No question.

Hey, you guys ready?

For what?

I made a video of me in my new car.

Check it.

Okay, there I am.

Check out my bicep there.

Yeah.

Now my butt's again big.

Dad, Chauncey, what are you guys doing here?

Excuse me, children.

Please leave this room so that Mr. Reese may speak with his son.

Hey, come on. This is my room, too.

You know, suddenly I feel like standing in the hallway.

Come along, Zoe.

It's a wreath.

You're giving me half that money.

What's going on? This is the bill for my United Express credit card.

So?

$327 ,000.

Oh, I bought a car.

Without asking me?

You said I could use the credit card at BCA whenever I wanted. For books?

food, maybe a little entertainment.

It's a very entertaining car.

It's going back.

What? Dad, that's cruel.

I'm cutting you off.

No money, no checkbook, no credit cards.

What? Dad, no. Chauncey, please talk to him. Let go of my lapels or I'll poke

you in your neck.

The credit card.

Chauncey? What? What? What? No!

No! Wait! No! No!

Dad!

Gentlemen, take the plasma screen, the laptop, the stereo, and all that stuff

there. No! No! Dad, please!

Why? Why the stereo? I need the stereo! I have to listen to music!

Oh, no! Please! Put it down! Dad, please!

Please! What is it?

No! Dad, not the plasma screen!

No! No!

There.

Nice work.

You got the stopwatch?

Okay, now, while you're tied up, if you need anything, food, water, bathroom, if

you start to feel any pain, the safe word is... Ha!

Don't feel bad.

And the popcorn arrived.

Can't watch a movie without the corn.

Hit play.

Hitting.

This is depressing.

I miss Logan's plasma screen.

Why couldn't his dad have taken Logan away and left all the cool stuff?

Hey.

What's up, poor boy?

I hate my life.

Yeah, you've looked better.

What's wrong with your hair?

Juanita didn't fluff it. That's what's wrong with it.

Juanita? The lunch lady.

I used to pay her to blow -dry and fluff my hair every morning, which is why it

always looks so awesome. But now, since my evil father closed my bank account, I

can't pay her to do it anymore.

Yeah. Life is hard.

It is now.

What, need a little lunch, lady?

It explains the hair I'm not putting.

Ew.

Seriously. Here.

Hey, Juanita, to blow dry his hair.

And fluff it.

What 15 -year -old boy can't do his own hair? I know, it's like he...

Yeah,

go ahead, laugh it up. What happened to your clothes?

I washed them.

I used to use the PCA laundry service, but now I can't afford that, so I had to

wash them myself.

I don't know, I guess I did it wrong.

You think?

It's not funny.

I'm sorry.

There.

I think those knots ought to hold you.

The knots I tied didn't hold him.

Baby, we've discussed this.

You're not good with your hands.

Now, if you can get out of that, I'll be seriously impressed.

Tie me.

Go.

It's not that bad.

That's easy for you to say. You've never been rich. You're used to being

average. I'm not.

Hey, Logan.

You want to play golf with us tomorrow?

No. I can't afford balls.

Wow. I've never seen Logan that upset.

It's both bad.

Yeah. Poor guy.

Oh, my God. We actually feel bad for Logan Reese.

Unbelievable. Wow.

That's insane.

It's horrible.

Can I borrow a dollar?

I've never seen anyone so desperate for money.

It's because he doesn't know how to do anything without money.

He's never had to do anything for himself.

Hey, come on, please don't aim for the face.

Yeah.

Okay, we have to help him.

Why should we help him? He wouldn't help us. Yeah, but we're good people.

Yeah, I am a good person.

Hey, hey, one at a time, come on.

I feel yes.

All right, look. If you still don't believe I can free myself from any

any knots you got, then let's go again.

Anytime.

Okay. We will go again.

You know my digits.

You want us to get a book on knots?

No.

I have a better idea.

Come with me.

Oh, look. A rock.

First you're going to wash your whites in hot water, then your colors in warm

water. Colors in hot.

Colors in warm.

Warm. Right.

Okay. Now fill this cup up with a little mark here with detergent.

Which one? Vapor mat?

Either. Doesn't matter.

Now what?

Go listen to music. I'll do your laundry.

Right.

There.

All right, now, hair dryer in your left hand.

Brush in your right.

Got it.

Cool. Now just brush and blow. I'll be back in ten. Okay.

Something went wrong.

Well, how'd you... You don't... Let me do it.

Just put your fingers on the home keys like I showed you.

Okay, now what? Now, type...

The tiger chased the bunny into its hole.

Okay.

Um... T... T... Is there a T?

Yes, there's a T.

Why would they make a keyboard without a T? Look, it's right there between the R

and the Y.

R... Just move, I'll take this for you.

Hurry, okay?

You're a little late.

Sorry. Thought maybe you weren't going to show because you realize I can escape

from any night you got.

We'll see.

Mark?

Hello, Mr.

Billiam. It's not Billiam. It's Billiam. Two syllables. Thank you. Isn't he the

lower school history teacher? On weekdays.

On weekends.

I'm Troop Master Kenny.

He is the wilderness troop's number one expert on tying knots.

Thank you for recognizing that.

So you're pretty good with the knot tying, huh? Oh, I can tie over 350

knots, including the everlasting German pretzel twist.

Still feeling confident, Michael?

Sit.

Let's get it on!

Knock,

knock. Oh, hey. What you got?

Logan's laundry.

I can't believe I'm transporting Logan Reese's underpants.

Yeah, well, if you're really in the mood for fun, try typing up his 26 -page

history report.

Why do you have to buy that stupid car and lose all his money? I liked him so

much better when he was rich and obnoxious.

Oh, here.

Here's his wallet.

Logan, he left it in his pants.

Oh.

Well, this is weird.

We've got over 200 bucks in here.

And his United Express credit card.

I thought his dad took that away.

Yes.

Drunkle. Though it will do you no good.

Let us know when you're ready to give up.

Oh, don't you worry about me.

I'll get out of this so fast it'll make your mama spin.

Enjoy. Okay.

Michael! Have you heard the song I wrote? I can sing it for you.

No, please.

What did I ever do to you?

You can chip it in the morning, chip it in the evening, even at a quarter to

three.

You sound like an animal! No!

You know, it's really wrong to read another person's email.

You want me to stop? No, read it!

Okay, um... Ooh, here's the last email to Logan from his father.

What's it say? Hurry, read it!

I'm clicking.

Okay, it says, um... Logan, I know the last few days without money have been

difficult for you.

After we talked on the phone last night... and I decided you've learned

lesson, so I'm going to send your ATM and credit cards back tomorrow.

What? When did he get that email?

Over a week ago.

He's had his money back for over a week?

And he's been letting me blow dry his stupid hair every day? And letting me do

his laundry?

Do you know how many words I typed for the guy? I am going to kill him.

I am going to kill that boy.

This does call for revenge.

What are we going to do?

We need to do bad things to him.

I don't feel good about this.

I've been collecting these coins since I was five.

You'll get your collection back. We promise.

I'd better.

You will.

Just do exactly what we told you and don't let... Hey, shh.

Oh, come on, man.

Please?

Sorry, Chase. I can't do it.

He said he'd get you the money in a couple of weeks.

I thought we were friends.

This is business.

What's business?

Firewire wants to sell his coin collection.

And Chase's uncle wants to buy it. But he's in Amsterdam till the end of the

month. You can have the money in two weeks.

What's the big deal about a box of nerd coins?

Uh, this is the big deal.

A double eagle gold dollar.

From 1933.

So? So, it's super rare and worth like over $100 ,000.

$150 ,000.

Yeah, but I'll sell it for $80 ,000 because my parents need the money. Like,

now. They can wait two weeks?

Come on.

You swear your uncle's going to give me a check for $80 ,000 in two weeks?

Yep, as soon as he's back in the state.

I'll give you $100 ,000 for it right now.

What? You don't have any money.

Yeah, don't listen to him. His daddy cut him off.

Yep.

And then he cut me back on.

$100 ,000 for the coin collection.

I can get a cash advance and you can have the money in an hour.

You what?

Don't be grumpy. This is great news. You spend $100 ,000 of my money without my

permission? The coins are worth at least that, probably a lot more.

What do you know about coins?

Sir, I know a great deal about coins and stamps and thoughts.

Get the car.

Logan, I will see you in 90 minutes.

Oh, why did I do this?

Hey, hey.

I've been out here all night, man. I'm starving.

Are you going to finish that corn dog?

No. Really?

Can I have it?

No.

What would you do that for?

Why?

Why?

Hey, Pop.

Give it to me.

There's no reason to be all mad.

We'll see.

Chompsy, which one?

What's it worth?

Well, that's difficult to determine exactly.

I'd say somewhere between 50 and 75 cents.

You see?

What? This is a replica.

It's a fake?

Yes. Congratulations.

You're a dipwad.

Dad, listen, I... Give me your credit card.

But, Dad... Now!

Let's go, Chauncey.

Dipwad.

But, Dad, I can't live without money.

I was born to be rich.

Please, I can't be like other kids. It's disgusting.

Dad!

We're going to send his dad all the money back, right? Of course we are.

Yep. The whole 90 ,000.

It's 100 ,000.

Quinn! Don't fake!

It's true, Master Kitty!

This is bad!

Help! I'm in a predicament!

Listen,

Mr. Billion, I give.

I'm done.

You'd like me to untie you?

Yeah, please.

First say...

Troop Master Kenny, you are the best not -tire in the universe.

Troop Master Kenny, you are the best not -tire in the universe.

Thank you.

Now will you untie me?

No.

What?

What? What? I thought you just called me the best not -tire in the universe.

Troop Master Kenny!

I just gotta let it loose.

I do what you choose to do.

Don't walk away.

Yeah, yeah.

If you wanna play, come and play today.

Let's just get away.

You have enough rock.