Original subtitles

Harry. Too short!

Too short!

But everybody said short would be in.

Too short!

Short is short, but that's ridiculous.

Spread that around a little bit, baby.

We can lengthen it. We can just lengthen it.

Lengthen it? You can shorten that dress. You can't lengthen it. Where are you

going to get the material from?

How many of these rags did we make anyway?

Don't ask.

How many did we sell?

Don't ask that either.

Well, I think it's a cue.

Sissy, please!

Lord.

We're ruined.

A whole line down of tubes.

$200 ,000 to put everything we worked for.

Sorry,

Harry.

It's all my fault. I get short for this year.

I get strong.

You promised me a masterpiece.

It's grotesque! Even I can't sell it.

Harry, if you can't sell it, nobody can sell it.

What are we going to do?

Hello, I know.

Can we use your wife's trust fund?

I can't touch the principal.

What about our partnership insurance?

$100 ,000?

What about it?

I'd commit suicide.

Marv. It's my fault.

Marv, don't talk foolish. You're not going to kill yourself.

Neither am I.

We could flip a coin.

Marv, you're hysterical.

Here I am, sir. What are we going to do?

Hit me again, partner.

Lucy Hickman's poodle to get this permanent at Fashion Mall.

And then we went boutique shopping. Oh, I saw the most adorable outfit.

Had a pair of pants.

Tray of sheep. I got two. One in fuchsia and one in lime.

It was cultured clothes, classics.

Isn't that Ralph Zitwal's line?

Yeah.

Aren't you going to ruin your appetite, baby? Don't do that to me, Harry.

Just clearing my palate before dinner.

Listen, what happened to the new line? You know, I went and told the stores.

None of them are carrying it.

They're not carrying it because it's a turkey.

I thought it was kind of cute.

Oh, Castlemore's brainstormed. The world is into flesh these days, he tells me.

So what's wrong with flesh?

The new line is burying us, baby. The wolf is at the door.

If we don't meet our obligations, the bank is going to put the padlock on. We

lose everything. The house, the trip to Europe.

My God, Harry.

The Mercedes.

The Mercedes?

Yeah.

Harry. Harry, what are we going to do?

If only we could get hold of my trust fund.

Forget your trust fund.

Marv Castlemore should pay for it. It was his mistake.

He certainly should, especially with that rotten line.

Something happened to Marvin.

Happened? I got partnership insurance with Marvin.

A hundred thousand dollars.

Yeah, but doesn't he have to be dead before you can collect that?

He's got to be very dead.

Harry.

Harry. I mean, Marvin is your partner. He's your best friend. I mean, you've

been inseparable for years.

Like I say, friendship is one thing, but business is business.

Harry, I mean, you're talking about...

I'm not just talking about a measly, dumb murder.

I'm talking about a perfect murder.

Oh, honey, everybody's always talking about a perfect murder. Then they do one

little thing wrong and they get caught. I plan on getting caught.

I give up. I surrender.

In fact, if you help me, I'm going to try to get away when I murder Marvin.

Me? What do I have to do with it?

You know, Marv, Castlewise always liked you.

Me? He likes me? Why not? Look at you. You're a delectable woman.

Why do you think he's been a bachelor all these years? He's been carrying a

torch for you. If you waved your little finger, he'd break both legs running.

Harry. Yeah?

Are you trying to say that you want me to have an affair with a funny,

silly Marvin Castle woman?

Oh, Harry.

Why not?

Why not let the jerk have a little bliss before he dies?

Baby, I like it here in Wilmington, Delaware.

Delaware is a great state. They got a law written down that says if a husband

finds somebody in the act of adultery and he kills him, it's not a murder.

It's not even manslaughter.

It's a misdemeanor. It's a hundred dollar fine.

No.

That's all for killing somebody?

We saved the house. We saved the business.

The Mercedes.

We bought a new one.

Oh, I don't know, Harriet.

Ray, we're scared, darling.

Are you sure you wouldn't mind me having a little fling? Oh, like I always say,

Betty. A fling is one thing, but business is business.

You are doing a wonderful job.

A stitch in time saves nine.

I

like that.

Oh, yeah, that is different.

Different and daring.

Daring and different.

That is definitely different. Different and daring. Daring and different.

Wonderful. I think you got a winner there now, partner.

I think you're crazy.

I think you're crazy.

That, that, that is a rag.

You're right. I mean, no one would be caught dead.

Mob, Mob, this business is full of surprises. I think that is definitely a

trendsetter.

Harry, why are you so happy? What's that to be happy? I got a beautiful wife. I

got a wonderful partner. I got a great business.

Harry, two men from the bank were here today.

They're taking inventory.

They're taking inventory. It is going to be all right, Mob. Give it a little

stroll, will you, babe? Let's see how that rag walks.

Oh, yes, that is definitely a work of art. That is a work of art.

Harry, you're crazy.

Harry, we are finished. We are finished.

Marv, Marv, now I'm worried about your health.

You've got to learn how to relax. Why don't you come over to the house

We'll have some laughs. You bring a date. We'll have a little barbecue, a

cha -cha -cha.

You know, just this morning, Roberta was saying, how is old Marv? You know she

likes you. She's looking forward to seeing you.

Mark, I'm dead, baby. It's kind of neck and neck.

How do I look, then?

You look fantastic -o.

If it weren't my wife, I'd make a play for you myself.

I'm a little nervous, Harry.

What's to be nervous? A little fling with Marvin is going to be the best

in the world for both of you.

The fling doesn't bother me.

I mean, it bothers me. I feel bad about doing it, of course.

No, I meant later.

Killing Marv?

Hold it a second.

The trip to Europe. You want to cancel the trip to Europe?

We can't cancel the trip to Europe. You want him to repossess the Mercedes?

Never. All right, then.

Now, as soon as you hook Marvin, I want you to flaunt it.

I want the whole world to know what's happening. Harry, it's one thing to have

an affair, but it's uncouth to flaunt it.

Justification. When I kill Marvin, I want everybody to know I had

Harry, you are a very deep person.

All right.

That's Marvin.

Everything is up to you, baby.

Harry, whatever this looks like, I just want you to know...

I'm doing this for you.

And the Mercedes.

You're magnificent.

I know you guys were a number.

Oh, Harry, it's a strictly business. You walk in there, it's time to burn your

mind. It's so embarrassing wearing this thing in public.

That's all right, baby.

You look a dream.

Roberta, hi, this is Bob. Dick, Sissy.

Melunka. Sissy, Melunka.

Bob, Roberta's dying to see you. Come on.

I like that dress. It's Trey.

Cute.

Long time no see, Mara.

Hi, Robert. Now, on this special occasion, I would like to propose

toast to my beautiful wife, Roberta, to my

wonderful friend, Marv Castlemore, and to the great city of

Wilmington, Delaware.

you and Marvin were an item?

Oh, it's all business, Harry. He says he's grooming me for an executive

position. Oh.

Harry is such a beloved little boy. He travels all the time to New York to look

after your boss and Harvey.

Harvey, I'm still young and attractive.

Oh, yeah, you're very... What?

Attractive. You're such a very attractive... No, I am.

A seedless grape withering on my mind. A seedless grape.

Beautiful wine. You're luscious. Marv, what do you want to do to me?

Oh, my God. I want to make wine.

Shh.

Not now. Not yet.

Harry is leaving tomorrow for a week in New England.

Oh, you won't be back, and I have to see you. I have to be near you. I have to

be close to you.

Oh, Berta. Oh, yes.

You're spilling your drink in my life.

Oh, Marv, I'm sorry.

What are you thinking, Harry?

I was thinking about the business.

Is business all right, Harry?

Business has never been better.

Bankruptcy.

Moe, that's crazy.

Fabulous Fox has never been healthier, man.

Right.

Moe, I'm leaving right away. I'll be in Boston in a couple of hours.

Why don't we go out tonight? Have some drinks.

A little disco, baby, huh?

Cha -cha -cha.

Oh, la -la -la -la.

That Moe Osgood, what a fun guy.

I understand it, Harry. Why so chipper? Our business is going under.

Ma, don't be such a worrier.

You only live once, my friend. Try to have a good time.

Cha -cha -cha -cha -cha -cha -cha.

Cha -cha -cha.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la. Step line one, Mr. Castlemore.

Yeah.

Uh, Mrs. Elton.

Roberta. I mean, Roberta.

Harry just left.

Oh, good.

Marvin, you come right over here.

I'm waiting for you.

The door will be unlocked.

Come here, Marvin.

Oh, darling, my favorite chocolates. Sit down, Marvin.

Make yourself comfortable.

Oh, I just love chocolates in the afternoon.

Yeah,

Harry.

Everything's fine here.

Another week.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Yeah, sure.

I am relaxed.

I am very, very relaxed.

Marv.

Just a second, Harry.

Mrs. Elton's here to see you.

Harry, I've got to run.

Yeah, sure.

Take all the time you want.

A week, ten days.

Zip on down to New York. Have a ball.

Yeah, I'm feeling real fine.

Thanks, Harry. Bye.

Send Mrs. Elton in.

She has some brass, that woman.

Sissy. This is the third time she's been here this week, throwing herself at you

like that.

Mrs. Elton and I.

Disgusting business.

I could imagine. What business?

You're not fooling anyone, Marv.

Poor Harry.

On your way out, sissy.

Close the door behind you.

Darling.

Oh, darling.

Oh, darling, you have to... Oh, forgive me. Please forgive me. I tried not to

come. I tried... This thing between us is stronger than I am.

Wait, hold on. Watch the water.

Oh, darling.

Forgive me. Oh, Harry.

Oh,

Harry.

No, I, uh... I talked to Harry today.

What did he say?

I don't understand him.

He seems to enjoy being on the road.

Then let him stay.

But it seems like he should be... I'm a little suspicious by now.

I feel terrible about... Uh -oh.

Hmm. That's it, Paul. Don't look. Don't look.

Cultured clothes?

Classics? We've got the biggest mountain town. Don't look.

Hello, Ralph!

What the hell are you doing?

Well, I'm not ashamed of our love.

It almost seems like you want Harry to know about us.

What if he does?

This is Wilmington, Delaware.

People take a dim view of this sort of thing.

What sort of thing?

Adultery.

Adultery? Is that what you think we're doing?

Well, technically.

Technically? Technically, it's... Technically?

How can you be technical about our love?

Well, I mean, it's sort of like... Marvin, do you love me?

Yes, I love you. Really, really? Yes, I love you. I love you. Well, then

Wilmington, Delaware can go fly a kite. I don't care who knows about our love.

Including my husband, Harry Elton.

Hi, Ralph.

So, the drunk says to the lady, who is that pig?

She says, that's not a pig.

That's my dog. I know. I'm talking to the dog.

Got to hand it to you, Harry, the way you're dealing with this pressure.

Pressure? Business failing and those other rumors.

What rumors?

Maybe I shouldn't be the one to tell you about it. What?

I was talking to Ralph Zitzwald, your partner and your wife.

Yeah. They're having an affair, Harry.

Marv, my wife?

Having an affair?

Come on, Joe.

Ralph says everyone knows about it. She visits him at your office and they lock

the door.

Knows about what, mob?

Castle was my oldest, dearest friend.

Joe.

What are you talking about, Joe?

Yeah. I had to disturb you, Mr. Elton. This telegram just came for you. Oh,

yeah. Thank you.

Joe. Thank you. Thanks.

What is it?

If you want to know

where your partner is, find out where your wife is.

I got the telegram.

I'll be in Wilmington by 11 o 'clock.

Make sure Marv is with you.

Huh? Hey, come on. Don't cop out now.

It's almost over.

Think about the Mercedes.

Just keep thinking about the Mercedes.

What's the matter, honey?

Huh? The matter?

Something is the matter, isn't it?

What if you were about to lose something that was very dear to you?

You're not talking about us, are you?

No, of course not.

Now, I meant something like a car or like that.

Well, if it meant a great deal to you, I'd do anything in the world to help you

save it.

Oh, you make me feel so much better.

I just want you to know, no matter what happens, I think you're a grand guy.

Come on.

What in the world could happen?

Well, you know, it's like Harry always says.

Love is one thing, but... Business is business.

Who's that?

second I thought it... Oh, you thought it was Harry, didn't you? Don't be

He's still in New York.

Oh, give me a kiss.

We did it.

The only way I could get to the trust fund was if she died.

$200 ,000!

Harry, we can relocate. We can move the whole operation to Philly.

Forget about Philly.

Why? I like it here in Wilmington.