Original subtitles

You know what I'm going to do today?

I said, you know what I'm going to do today?

You're going to catch me a thief.

I said, I'm going to catch me a thief.

at stealing me blind.

They?

They, him, or somebody.

Stealing what, exactly?

Um, money?

Gloves.

Gloves.

That doesn't mean I have to put up with the pilferage.

What a nice word.

Pilferage.

That implies they're not stealing very many, doesn't it?

They steal a box of six here, another dozen pair there, and at the end of the

year, you know, that adds up.

And besides, there's the principle of the thing, isn't there?

Exactly.

I couldn't have said it better.

How do you plan to catch your thief?

Or thief, as the case may be.

I'm going to hire me a private detective.

A real private eye.

Just like in the movies.

Yeah.

You do lead an exciting life, Ralph.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess I do with that.

Okay, Gladys, let's go.

Well?

Well, give me the bad news first.

Six pairs of the fur -lined suede and 12 pairs of the stretch number three. You

know, the racing gloves.

I mean, I lock up this place and I go home and come back here and 96 bucks has

walked right out the door without even waving goodbye.

Plus $46 the week before.

Did you get a hold of that private detective, what's his name, Semple?

I insisted that Mr. Semple give me three references and I checked each one out.

From what I could gather, he's about as honest and straightforward as those

people ever are.

Yeah, but is he any good?

He seems...

He'll be here at 10.

How many are out sick today?

Oh, just one, but that was expected.

Mr. Cotter came in at 9 .15 and left at 9 .30 to visit some studios.

He said he'd be back by noon unless he got tied up for lunch.

Noon? Huh.

Noon, huh?

What does Cotter think I'm running around here? Some kind of a message

All right, I got a message for him. When he gets back here, tell him he's fired.

But you fired him twice last month.

Then hired him back at more pay.

Talent.

You want to know something?

I hate talent.

The best designer in the business.

You still want to fire him?

All right, I'll give him one more chance. But that's it.

Now look, when this Detective Semple gets here, I want you to bring him right

in. And don't go around introducing him to everybody.

I want this to be an undercover operation.

How exciting.

Yeah. I guess maybe it is at that.

I'm Semple.

Detective.

Private investigator.

I'm not.

Sit down.

You don't look like a detective.

I hope not.

Oh, yeah, I get it. If you look like a detective, then it couldn't be very

private, could it?

Nope.

What's your problem?

They're stealing me blind.

Cash or kind?

Gloves. I make gloves.

They're just ripping me off.

How many?

A dozen here, a dozen there. It adds up.

How many employees you got?

Thirty -two.

Which one's stealing from you?

Which one?

What do you think I got you down here for?

Let me show you something.

What did I just do?

You took a cigar.

Without your permission?

Yeah.

I stole it.

But you didn't say anything.

Why?

What the hell? I mean, it's just a cigar.

What does it cost?

A buck a piece?

Two bucks.

I stole two bucks from you.

You saw me do it, and you didn't say anything.

Their guys will sit back, watch their oldest, most trusted employee steal from

them for years.

Won't say a thing.

Then they call in a private investigator.

But they still won't tell them anything because they want the P .I. to take all

the blame.

So that's why I asked you.

Who's stealing from you?

I don't know.

Could be anybody.

Could be my shop foreman or that no -good designer of mine.

Or a cutter, maybe. Anybody.

Look, gloves aren't big. You can stick them in your pocket or in your lunch

bucket.

What if it was your secretary?

No, it couldn't be her.

Yeah, but what if it was?

Well, I'd throw her out on her ear.

Prosecute?

Yeah, I'd prosecute her.

I think that you and me can do some business.

Gladys, is that no good Cotter back yet?

He's back.

Well, tell him I want to see him.

Right.

Come in.

You want to see me?

Where the hell have you been all day, huh?

Out.

Stealing, actually.

You know Garson?

Yeah, he's got a studio on 3rd.

Yeah, well, a little while ago I took him out and convinced him to drink his

lunch, and then we went back there and said goodbye, and not before I got a

at what was lying upside down on top of his desk.

Paris, huh?

Right off the plane.

I did that sketch from memory.

Yeah,

that's good.

It's real good.

How soon could you... Final drawings this afternoon.

Patterns tomorrow.

Maybe the day after.

Anything else?

No, no, that's all.

I guess.

Can I keep this?

Sure. It's all up here.

Dinner's ready, Ralph.

I gotta get back to the shop tonight.

Really? Whenever for?

Gonna set me a trap.

I didn't know you had rats.

Yeah, I got rats.

Human rats.

Thieves.

Oh, yes.

How was he, your detective?

He was a real smart little guy.

How long will you be gone?

A couple of hours, three maybe.

Why?

I just wanted to know if I should wait up for you.

Yeah.

Why don't you wait up for me and I'll tell you all about it when I get home.

Me and him, we're going to set a trap tonight.

Tell me something.

How does this stuff work?

Simple. It's just a fine, luminous powder.

And suspension.

We coat the gloves with it.

If you get it on your hands, it won't wash off. And it goes in the dark.

Banks sometimes use this stuff on bait money during the holdup.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I read about that.

So, uh, if the gloves are stolen tomorrow or the next day, all we

gotta do is line up everybody in a dark room, huh?

Guy with the shiny hands is your thief.

Is this stuff poisonous?

Harmless.

Absolutely harmless.

I must have dozed off.

Don't you want to hear what happened?

Oh, I'm dying to hear, but can it wait till tomorrow?

I think I'm getting a headache.

Went off like clockwork.

Just like clockwork.

Does that mean you caught your thief?

No.

next day.

Really exciting.

Yeah, as a matter of fact, it is.

How's your headache?

Worse.

Well, maybe you ought to see a doctor.

Tomorrow.

I have an appointment at two.

It happened.

What happened?

Twelve pairs of black kids were stolen.

When? As near as Thompson can figure. Just before noon.

They sold them on their lunch hour. That's what they probably did.

Is everybody here today?

Everybody. I mean now.

Well, everybody but Cotter.

He had a meeting at two, but said he'd be back by four.

It's almost three.

Get a hold of Sample. Tell him to get right over here.

Have a cigar.

So, happened already, eh?

Little before noon.

So, what do we do now?

Depends.

On what?

Whether you want to make a big stink about it, or whether you want to keep it

all in the QT.

What do you mean?

Well, you can hurt all your people in here at once, turn off the light, and

publicly accuse the one who's got the hands that glow in the dark.

Some guys like to do it that way.

Of course, it's not much good for your employees' morale.

No, I can see where it wouldn't.

What's the other way?

Bring them in here one by one, turn off the lights, and see who's got the shiny

hands.

Ones that don't, go back to work and lose what?

A couple of minutes off the job?

And the one with the shiny hands, the thief?

In two minutes, he's out of your life forever.

No muss, no fuss.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I like that better.

That's the way we'll do it.

What's going on, Mr. Stockpole?

Well, we're doing a little survey here, Joe.

And what I'd like you to do is to hold your arms out in front of you like this

with your palms up. And you count to ten, huh?

One, two.

Should I keep on counting, Mr. Stockpole? Yeah, Joe.

Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,

ten.

Thanks, Joe.

That's all?

That's all.

How many we got left?

Well, it's everybody but two.

Which two?

Your secretary and Mr.

Cotter. Oh, well, you don't have to worry about my secretary.

We don't, eh?

No.

I once knew a guy something like you.

Sort of a cream puff.

Yeah, nice little business. A lot of cash in and out.

Only trouble was, he wasn't making any money.

He and his bookkeeper couldn't figure it out.

So they called me in, and I did a number on everybody that worked for him.

Except for his bookkeeper, who he was kind of sweet on.

And it was her, huh?

It was her.

She was 28, kind of curvy, and, uh...

She took him for over $100 ,000.

Never could make himself believe it.

Not even after he got the postcard from her from Acapulco saying, thank you for

a lovely vacation.

Well, Alex, come in here for a minute, will you, please?

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

I hope you're satisfied.

I have never been so humiliated in my life.

No one suspected you for a second, Gladys.

Well, I should hope not.

Oh, Gladys.

Is that no good Cotter back yet?

He just came in.

Tell him I want to see him, please.

Miss Cotter, what does he do?

He's my designer.

Well, he's the last one on the list.

What if it ain't him?

If it ain't him, friend, then you got real trouble.

What's going on?

We're running a little check on everybody. I'd like you to hold out your

like this and count to ten.

No. What's that?

No, N -O, no.

Hit the light! Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Stackpole. What, are you hiring

Hoogland now?

All right, so I took a couple of pair. What's the big deal?

You stole from me.

Want me to call the cops?

No, just get him out of here. Out of the building and out of the street.

I'll send him his check and his stuff later.

You're lucky, kid.

That detective is a genius.

I took him out to dinner.

You don't say.

We had them all come in one by one, see, and then we snapped out the lights, and

they all held their hands out like this.

And everybody was clean but him.

There he was, standing there with that silly smirk on his face.

Sounds really exciting.

Yeah. Yeah, it was exciting at that.

And guess who the thief was?

Haven't a clue.

Cotter.

Who?

Cotter.

You know, that la -di -da designer of mine?

You met him at the Christmas party.

Yes. Mr.

Cotter. Yeah.

And you want to know something?

Hmm.

I sort of knew it was him all along.

What did the doctor say?

Doctor?

Yeah, the doctor.

He said you were going to see him today.

Did he give you anything for your headaches?

No.

He said I should just get a lot of rest.