Original subtitles

What's that?

Oh, yeah?

What? That lock.

You didn't have no key, Sam, did you? Just the pin.

Nice. Yes.

You don't miss nothing, do you?

Hey, you little twit, would you? No.

Go on. No, no, no, no. Come on, Sam. No, no, no, no. It's naughty.

I've retired. Come on.

Here.

Out. No kids in here, Jenny says.

Rule of the house. Come on.

Come on. Out. Out.

Oh, yeah?

What's all this then, eh?

Oh, the poster. I put the letters on the desk. Billy Thompson, you're supposed

to be having flu. Come back to bed and clean those teeth of bright green.

Hey.

Here's your motor, Maddy.

Is it true you're famous, Sam?

Back to bed, Billy.

I hope you wasn't teaching him bad habits, Dad.

Me? No, would I?

Never. Oh, no.

What?

The axe.

How do you know, love?

Well... I haven't been yet. I know, but it's from the town hall, and three great

mates on the council have told me already.

Cutbacks. He's cut me a grant by 25%, and I'm already snowed under with unpaid

bills on this place.

Always one for you.

Very posh.

How do you do it? Please.

Mister, I was always jacked till I got the sack. The boot, the old... Sorry

about that, Mr. Bliss.

Yes.

Mr. Harrison.

Yes, I know, but he's just walked in.

Yes. Right, I'll tell him.

Mr. Bliss suggests you walk right out again.

But he's got to listen to me, sweetie.

I'm sorry, but... No, no, no, he can't afford to pass this one up. Mr.

Harrison!

See you, Puddin'.

I don't want to keep you out of my hair. I heard, Henry, and you're wrong.

Everybody's wrong this morning except me.

But you're no longer with us.

You completely screwed up the Holdwell account, blamed everybody, and I fired

you. This is the ricochet, baby. Now do sit down, Henry.

I'm not here to waste your time nor mine.

Five minutes, that's all I'm going to give you. That's all I need, Henry.

all I need.

The 801.

The 801? What are you talking about?

Oh, come on, Henry, get a grip. Holdwell's newest safety, the 801. I was

on the line. Ah, yes, yes. It was Holdwell's chairman, Winford Stark, who

specifically requested your dismissal. That was last week, Henry. This is now.

Listen.

Can't help myself, can I? The 801.

Their latest, their best, their totally impregnable safe.

And this.

Sam the Touch Morrissey.

Yes, I can read. I know, Henry, but does comprehension follow?

No. But I think it's a great idea, Jack.

I haven't even said it yet. No need.

This guy Morrissey is a safe cracker, right? The best in the business. Shall

get him to try to crack the 801? Henry, you're brilliant. I knew you'd flip over

it. What a testimonial.

Superstar cracksman fails to open the 801.

Think of it, Henry. What a promotion.

We'll get the press, radio, TV, everybody in there. We'll film the whole

caboodle.

Suppose he's still in jail.

He's out. He's been on parole for over a year. I checked.

Henry, if he can't open that safe, nobody can.

Hilda, get me Winford Stark of Holdwell's safes, will you?

worth a tenner for our appeal fund. There's the other one.

Ten pounds?

Cop it up on me dad now, okay?

You're kind of expensive to meet, Mr. Morrison.

Oh, yeah?

Well, Jenny, don't miss a trick.

Not my good cause.

Did you, uh, did you get my letter?

Yeah, I did.

Yeah. I, uh, I hoped you phoned me back, Mr. Morris. Did you?

But I don't crack safes no more, mate.

Well, how did that line of work all together?

Well, there's, um, there's nothing illegal about my proposal, Mr. Morris.

It's absolutely legitimate.

You see, uh...

Our client, the Holdwell Safe Company, would like you to prove that their

model, the 801, is absolutely burglar proof.

You're the best in the business.

Was.

Point taken, but your reputation lives on.

But I'm trying to live it down, right?

Sammy, can I call you Sammy?

Let's keep it formal, shall we?

Oh, Sam, right. Oh, okay, Sam.

Now, in our promotion, we'd like you to testify that... Testify?

Oh, not like in court. We want you simply to endorse the public, announce

world that you tried to crack the 801, and, well, you couldn't.

But no safe's really burglar -proof, mate.

There ain't no such animal.

Oh, you can bust any of them.

giving time and the right tools.

Exactly, and we're going to give you the time and the tools.

No, no, no, no. I'm sorry.

Mr... Jack, just call me Jack, Sam.

All right, Jack.

I'm going to pull the ladder up.

I ain't interested, I told you.

I'm in a different line of work altogether now.

Cheerio.

Mr. Morrissey, please.

We're offering you the opportunity to crack this safe open. You'll have three

hours to do it. You'll have witnesses like reporters, television, police,

people. Oh, no.

Just to watch, to establish your efforts as legitimate.

Hey,

kids, look, I'm trying to talk to you.

Hey, you know, the 801...

As a

matter

of fact, Sam, they're so sure you can't open it.

They're prepared to make it a real challenge.

You see this envelope, Sam?

An envelope exactly like that's going to be put in the safe.

Containing 550 pound notes.

25 ,000 pounds, Sam.

And if you can open that safe in under three hours, that cash is yours.

All yours.

Twenty -five grand.

You're kidding, mate.

Oh, no, on the level.

All yours, Sam.

Well?

Pardon me.

No, no, no, no, no, I can't.

I'd like to, sure, but... But you're in a different line of business now. Yeah,

that's right, yeah. Does it pay as well as this?

No, no, not quite.

More like pocket money.

What do you say, Sam?

What sort of gear, you know, equipment could I have? You name it.

Thermal arms.

And a lipid drill.

Harrison! Harrison!

Where is this fingers and modesty of yours? He ought to be here by now. The

touch. The touch? The touch, Henry. He's never been known as fingers. You've got

it wrong.

Well, whatever he's known, and he's late.

He said up past the co -op and turned left.

He meant right.

Billy Thompson, who said you could come?

Sam. Don't start an engine. Sam's got enough to worry about.

Ten seconds, studio.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. On behalf of the Holdwell State Company

Limited, allow me to introduce our honored guests for this evening. On my

weighing in at 2 ,370 pounds, a solid steel muscle, the

Holdwell 801, the world's champion, burglar -proof tape.

110 pounds, Mr. Sam the Touch Morrissey.

As you know, Mr. Morrissey holds the world's record for safe cracking, but

asked me to assure you that he's now retired.

Paid his debt, done his time, and is strictly ex -con.

Right, Sam?

Right. The Holdwell Safe Company believe that the 801 can defy Mr.

Morrissey's best efforts. So strong. Is there faith?

in their new safe that they are prepared to make this incredible challenge.

In my pocket... In my pocket, ladies and gentlemen, is an envelope which

contains 550 pound notes.

25 ,000 pounds, ladies and gentlemen.

Mr. Craig, would you open the safe for me, please?

Would you place this valuable envelope inside, please?

And now will you set the time lock mechanism for 12 noon tomorrow, when the

press will again be invited to witness the opening of the safe and the

retrieving of the envelope.

Now, will you close the door, please?

And so, ladies and gentlemen, the gauntlet is thrown.

The Holdwell Safe Company hereby challenges Britain's number one safe

retired Mr. Sam the Touch Morrissey, to open that safe before midnight tonight.

The time now coming up to nine o 'clock.

You have three hours, Sam, and if you succeed...

the contents of that safe become your exclusive property.

Twenty -five grand.

We could save the engine.

Shh, Billy, I know. Shh.

Are you ready, Sam?

Yep.

Will you examine the equipment provided and satisfy yourself that you have

everything that you could possibly require?

I have already.

Drills, bits, explosives, detonators, et cetera, et cetera?

There's enough here for Fort Knox, Barry.

Good. Right.

Okay, Sam. You have three hours.

Go to it, Sam. And may the best man win.

Maybe he'll psych it open.

Hey watch it I'm trying to concentrate yes, please no photographs while we're

recording. Okay, you'll have plenty of time for that later

Cut one.

Cut two.

Beneath the protection of the surface is a glass relocker.

Mr. Harrison?

Yes, Sam?

If I drill any further through the door, she's going to relock herself.

Can we turn her on her side?

How do you feel, Mr. Morrisley?

Oh, never say die, lady.

But it's looking pretty difficult, wouldn't you say?

Well, no safe's made to be easy, is it?

But that don't mean there ain't a way in, you know.

But in real life, you wouldn't have access to that brochure, would you?

I imagine that's a pretty confidential document.

I've read them all, love.

I've got a library back home.

with the specifications of every safe that's ever been made.

Master, this one's pretty smart.

Why haven't you tried the thermal launch?

Well, I don't want to burn up the contents, do I, eh?

I couldn't be sure. See, by the time I'd cut a handhold on that 25 grand inside,

it wouldn't have turned to ashes.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, the 801 is now in its new position.

Oh, I'm sorry, but...

I think it's only fair not to take up any more of Mr.

Morrissey's valuable time. Oh, that's all right, Mr. Harrison.

I needed a nice break.

I'm sorry.

to the 801.

Brilliant idea, Jack.

What's it made of?

Solid tungsten?

No, copper composite.

I feel sorry for him, don't you?

Your old -style con meets modern technology.

Don't worry, love.

Well, sir, what's next?

Well, a touch of the high explosives?

Yes, could be.

Please stay well back, ladies and gentlemen. Mr. Morrissey will now try to

the tape.

Ladies and gentlemen.

It's now two minutes to twelve.

This is my last throw.

It's taken me a long while to wire up the number.

And if you don't go this time round, well, I reckon she deserves to win.

Okay?

Right.

Everybody back.

Right back.

Alright everybody, hold on to your hats.

Tell Jenny not to worry, okay?

Oh, no.

Sam!

Billy, you took it.

I thought I told you that elephant was never to leave my office.

And now for the unique Holdwell time -lock device, preset for 12 noon.

I'm warning you, Billy, if you've nicked a single... I'll show you, all right?

gentlemen, 25 ,000 pounds.

What do you mean you and Sam laundered it this morning?

Sam said it'd be safer.

Oh, Billy!

Have a look.

Toilet tissue.

Harrison. Of course, he knew all along he could never crack the 801.

Put on a performance.

He said... He told me he was in the new line of business.

Pocket money.

He's a pickpocket.

Champagne, sir?

You haven't got a glass of light ale, have you?

Certainly, sir.