Original subtitles

It is very seldom that a short story writer is able to make anything

out of an incident that actually happened.

But this story is one of the rare exceptions.

I myself met the Umbrella Man on a street in New York City.

And I followed him, just as in this story.

And I was delighted and amazed by what I found.

I must confess to you that I tried the same experiment myself a few days later

to see if it really worked.

And it did.

I only hope that on the next rainy day that comes along, we won't have

of you going out and doing the same thing.

It would cause chaos in the land.

Sir.

I want a room.

One night.

Not our son. Look, sir, would you please?

Say, yes?

Do you have such a thing as a list of the public houses in this town?

No, what?

Public houses.

Inns. Hostels.

Bars.

Public houses.

Pubs.

A list.

Of those in the centre of your charming little town.

Yes. A list.

It's only this.

That'll do nicely.

Well, mate.

First floor.

Thank you.

Was there something else, then?

Yes.

A porter.

A porter?

No porter.

I say, you don't happen to know the weather forecast, do you?

The what?

The weather.

The weather.

Tomorrow's weather.

No idea.

I don't care about the weather. I'm stuck in here all day.

I hear you've had some heavy rains the past few days.

I don't notice the weather.

Yes.

Heavy.

Very heavy.

It may become cloudy towards evening, but for the most part, the day will

be dry and sunny. And that's the weather.

You want paper?

No.

Here is the special announcement.

The request in A25 from Cambridge is running approximately 15 minutes late.

Going to be 15 minutes late.

Again.

Wendy. Andrew.

You won't need that today, will you?

What? Umbrella.

Better safe than sorry.

Forecast was dry and sunny.

It's the weather we've been having. You can't be too careful.

Ridiculous.

Beg your pardon?

No.

Rice and coffee, then?

No, thanks.

I'll just put you to the buffet.

I don't want a cup either, thanks.

Darling.

Darling.

I love you.

I love you.

Where are we going to meet?

I mean, properly.

What about lunchtime today? I've got the hairdresser with eleven, but I can be

through by one.

Damnation, I can't. I've got a business lunch.

Oh, darling.

Do you think?

Does Arthur suspect?

Of course not.

He looks at me so strangely.

Does Jennifer suspect?

No.

She's more interested in her cats than she is in me.

Poor darling.

If only...

Damsel.

Water. Bring your umbrella in weather like this.

You're wet. That's your trouble, Andrew.

You're wet, old man.

Bye.

Thank you.

Yes, hey.

Where's the nearest church?

Tell what?

Church.

Place of worship.

House of God.

Temple. Chapel.

Church.

What denomination?

Any denomination.

Straight down the road.

Turn right.

Can't get four across, can you?

Can you, bud?

I'll see if your wife can help.

I'm no good at crosswords.

Have a look, you know now.

Tricky.

No, I'll go on struggling.

The answer is mistrust.

Five's coming in.

What train are you coming back on?

I don't know yet.

Oh, the 520. I thought you said the 520, Arthur.

Not that train. I'll try to be on it, the 520.

So -so.

nearly forgot.

I do hope you'll excuse me.

Yes? I wonder if I could ask a small favor.

It's only a very small favor.

What do you want?

Well, as a matter of fact, I've got myself into a bit of a scrape, and I

some help.

Not much, I assure you. It's almost nothing, in fact, but...

I do need it. I haven't got any money. You see, madam, old people like me often

become terribly forgetful. I'm sorry, but I don't give a beggar.

Madam, I assure you, I'm not a beggar.

Do I look like a beggar?

I beg you to believe, madam, that I am not in the habit of stopping young

in the street and telling them my troubles. I suppose not.

You see, I've never forgotten it before.

You've never forgotten what before?

My wallet.

Please, go away. I shall call the police.

Allow me. Do me the courtesy.

You see, I left my wallet in my other jacket.

This is the silliest thing to do.

I have told you, I am not going to give you any money. So there is no use asking

me for money.

I'm not asking for money.

Good gracious.

Heaven forbid I should ever do such a thing.

Then what are you asking?

And now me to explain.

Now, when I first saw you hurrying for the suit, taking cover, I said to

what an attractive woman.

Fresh from the hairdresser, no doubt.

Smart, elegant, with a kindly, not to say, considerate face.

And yet... And yet what?

Well, you'll forgive me saying this, I know.

But I couldn't help feeling that you were possessed with a certain sadness.

Sadness?

I mean, I'm probably quite wrong.

No, no. No, silly of me. No, no, go on.

Well, I saw in your eyes a lost, faraway look that hinted at pain.

To give an old man's impertinence, you seem to me so terribly, terribly tragic.

Did I?

Yes. And so I thought that you were the one person to approach because my

dilemma might in turn be of some help, however poor, to you.

Pardon me?

I wish to offer this umbrella of mine to protect you.

Don't fret.

Madam, I don't wish to encroach or pry on your private affairs, but...

If, as I suspect at this moment, you are suffering from some unrequited love, a

longing, an age, then I can think of nothing worse than to endure such

at the heart in the pouring rain.

Mr. Preston, all I ask in return is five pounds for my taxi to her home.

You are asking me for money.

Madam, I am not without means.

I think I told you.

I left my wallet in the other jacket.

Now, if I'm to get this weary old body home, I need the taxi fare.

And all I can offer in return is my own rent.

And I believe I may be of some service to you as an avid woman.

If you had no money in the first place, then how did you get here?

Well, I walked.

Every day, I go for a lovely long walk, and then I summon a taxi.

Take me home. I do it every day of the year, come rain or shine. Then why don't

you walk home now?

I wish I could.

I really wish I could.

But I don't think I would make it on these silly old legs of mine. I've gone

too far already.

It's, um... It's a lovely umbrella.

Yes.

It's, um... It's silk.

I can see it, dear. Yes.

Then why don't you take it out of my knee?

It cost me over 20 pounds, and that was several years ago. But that's of no

importance as long as I can get home.

I don't think it's right that I should pay you five pounds for a silk umbrella

that cost you over 20.

Just take the tax and be done with it. No, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't dream it.

I wouldn't dream of taking money from you. No, no.

Take the umbrella, dear lady.

Keep the rain off your beautiful hair.

And let your spirit be chilled just a little.

How did it show so clearly?

Just a look in my eye.

Just... One more thing.

Remember this.

No man is worth the tears of a beautiful woman.

Thank you.

I thought to myself, as I was trying to find a taxi and getting soaked in the

skin, I thought to myself, Andrew will be all right.

Andrew brought his umbrella.

It was stolen.

Stolen? Yeah.

When I was lunching in a pub, I got back to the office, several of my colleagues

had had their stolen, too. Where did they go?

I went round to the police station to report it. They had several complaints.

Damned odd. Damned annoying.

Well, Wendy, you'll be furious.

Why?

He had a hair down today.

Probably looks like a drowned rat by now.

Drowned rat, indeed.

Don't worry, Arthur. I didn't buy a new one.

No. I must be sure everything happened.

A man.

Dear, kind, old man. Pardon me if I would buy his umbrella.

Swine.

I beg your pardon.

Your umbrella was stolen.

You're a liar.

Swine. Who on earth are you talking about? I'm talking about you and Wendy.

You met at lunchtime, didn't you?

You gave me your umbrella.

You met at lunchtime and then you invented some cock -and -pull story

theft in the police.

God, what a fool I've been. You think I'm blind?

Stop this at once.

Secret locks of whispering to size.

You met at lunchtime for God knows what reason and he gave you his umbrella.

This is rubbish, nonsense, absolute madness. In the first place, it isn't my

umbrella. In the second place... Don't lie to me. You can lie in court.

Court? What do you mean, court?

I'll name you as correspondent.

For God's sake, you're behaving like a maniac. This umbrella was sold to me.

I don't want to hear any more lies.

You just listen to her. Shut up!

You're in love with her. I am not in love with her. I'm a happily married

Happily married man. I am.

I don't give a fig for you. You may not give a fig, but you gave me your

umbrella. I can prove I didn't. This is absolute madness.

Come with me now to the police desk. Oh, nice try. I demand you to come to the

police. You accuse me of treachery. You threaten me with divorce proceedings.

You put my marriage and happiness in jeopardy. You teach me how to prove my

innocence.

Umbrellas.

Could be.

We have pulled in a man.

A well -known con merchant, known as the Major, the Commander, the Rural Dean,

and even Chief Inspector.

But I haven't connected him with the Umbrellas.

An Umbrella man.

He's come down in the world.

We'd need you to identify him, madam.

Well, of course you'd identify him. There's a great deal at stake.

People's happiness depends on this, Inspector.

We will chummy in, will you?

Better be the man.

Otherwise, happiness won't be a word much use around these parts.

Well, madam.

Is this the man who sold you the umbrella?

No, I've never seen him before.

That's all I wanted to hear.

You'll both be hearing from my solicitor in the morning.

Could you, Wendy?

This is the man, isn't it?

How could you?

How could you?

No man is worth the tears of a beautiful woman.

On your way, then, are you, sir?

Yes. Off to Manchester, I think.

Manchester?

Always rains in Manchester.

Yes.

Yes.

I know.