Original subtitles

Marriage is not what I expected it to be.

Everything that was charming then is just irritating now.

Can you give any examples, Frida?

I don't know... It's so much, I wouldn't know where to start.

- I'm gonna get some coffee. - Magnus has no sense of humor.

If he happens to say something funny, he milks it forever.

Just get your coffee!

And how are things sexually?

Well, you can see for yourself. He's such a prude.

No, I don't have a problem talking about S-E-X.

Have you always had a tense relationship to sex?

I've tried so many things. We tried different types of...

...role play, but I gave that up very quickly.

What's the matter with you?

There's blood in my stool.

I'm reading a very interesting book.

There's a great description of who I want the man in my life to be.

It's a crime novel. He doesn't exist.

- You're ridiculous! - But it's all made up!

How boring can a person be? Huh?

Well, a relationship is a lot of work.

I advice you to go see a marriage counselor.

Yes, perhaps it's time.

Yes, this is just a bank.

Your new rate lock is for three years.

As far as your other situation goes...

My advice to you is to make sure you have time to yourselves.

Take a vacation this summer, just the two of you.

- To Venice... Or the West Indies! - Thank you!

That's what I've been saying!

We've never had a vacation just the two of us.

No... But we can't do it this summer.

We promised the gang we would go to Laholm.

You know how Ulf and... what's her name?

- His new wife? - Yes.

They look forward to it so much.

But we've been going to Laholm for five years.

No, you know what? We'll tell Ulf there's been a change of plans.

Yes.

It can't be that important to him, right?

LAHOLM APRIL 2011

Laholm!

- Not this about Laholm again. - Are you taking a bath? Nice!

- You want company? - No.

I've booked the cottage.

"Laholm has good infrastructure and a great high school."

I don't want to go with them. Can't we go abroad just us?

Abroad?

What about our tradition with Laholm? We should cherish that.

What did I eat, Kristina?

- My name is not Kristina. - That's right. My bad.

THE THORN BIRDS

- Hello! - Hi. You're home early!

- Hiya. - Aruba!

- Two weeks, just the two of us. - Wonderful!

It feels so good!

If we can just get away for a bit, everything will be okay.

- You're so fine. - So are you.

You don't think I'm too reserved?

Reserved, no.

No, but maybe you could be a bit more driven.

- Don't sweat the details. - I just want it to be right.

- Just be yourself. - But that's what you don't like...

- Okay, let it go! - Yes, yes...

We're going on a trip. Just you and me.

How should we tell Ulf we're not going to Laholm?

That'll be tough...

You can just tell him tonight.

You want me to do it?

Yes...

I'll handle of it.

Well, I had to put the lid on...

Honey... Do you know what to say to Ulf?

Yes, I'll just tell it like it is. No worries.

Hello!

- Hi! - Hi.

- Here you go. Hi... - Hi.

- Am I the first one here? - Yes, the others are on their way.

- I'll take that. How are you? - Good.

- It's been a while. - I've been busy with Rune.

- He's just amazing. - You say that every time.

I know I say that every time, but this time it's the real deal.

This is the man I'm going to marry.

He's taking me sailing on his boat in the Mediterranean!

But... that means I can't come to Laholm.

What? Neither can we!

What a relief!

I've been so nervous about telling Ulf.

Ridiculous! It can't be that important to him, can it?

- No! - No...

- Hello, hello! - Hi.

I LOVE LAHOLM

The shirts were Ulf's idea, and...

We hade some made for you as well, so...

- And we made songbooks. - We sure did.

Songbooks?

To Laholm, to Laholm Yes, we're going to Laholm

We will go swimming then we'll have a BBQ

Play some Yahtzee, drink wine and play some games!

Let's eat before the food goes bad.

Let's try the one on page seven.

I have to go "take out the trash."

I have something to tell you about the vacation this summer.

Magnus also has something to say.

I also have a little something I want to say.

Well, you can go first.

When we get to Laholm

we can't miss out on the Mongolian Barbecue.

That sounds exciting. Mo--

I can't come!

Then you'll have to wait in the cottage while we eat.

They have different kinds of meat and sauces...

I can't go to Laholm at all.

What?

What do you mean?

I've met the love of my life.

We decided to spend the summer just the two of us.

What a great idea!

Great idea...?! But we always go to Laholm!

You're letting the whole group down!

Look at Magnus! He's crushed!

What? Well...

We talked about this, and we...

We can't...

We can...

We can't go to Laholm either.

But we booked the cabin!

We looked into it, and we can cancel the reservation.

But what about me?

What am I going to do this summer?

We've made our decision. We need a vacation just the two of us.

But you and your wife... Why don't you go to Laholm on your own?

That sounds stupid!

- Everybody has to go to Laholm! - But why?

Because I... I...

I...

FIGHT BREAST CANCER

I have cancer!

What?

Yes.

- You do? - Yes.

But... How long have you known?

80 EXCELLENT SANDWICHES

For... 80 weeks.

80 weeks?! That's over a year! Why haven't you said anything?

- I didn't want to scare... - Ulf...

I have the best doctor in Sweden, and he says nothing can be done.

What's his name?

Pot.

- Doctor Pot? - Well, or... Palm.

- Palm is his last name? - No, his first name.

- So Pot is his last name? - Right.

So, his name is Dr. Palm Pot?

- Magnus, please! - Sorry, I'm in shock.

How has your wife been handling it?

You've told her, right?

Of course he has!

So, there we go...

Oops, guess I forgot to wash my hands...

It's just so much washing and rinsing in a day...

Do you always wash your hands after you've been to the toilet?

What?

Why did you tell everyone else before you told me?

It was so you wouldn't feel guilty.

What does that mean?

I mean, she calls me on my cell several times a day.

- She always overcooks the meat. - No.

Sometimes it's like charcoal.

I'm not saying you're the one that gave me cancer.

But, but... I only have a little time left here on earth.

And I have one last wish.

I think you all know what it is.

Coffee?

But, Magnus... What a shock!

And poor Ulf's wife!

- Imagine having a dying spouse. - Yes...

That is, if he is dying.

What is that supposed to mean?

He's lied about so many things over the years.

Remember when he said he had a helicopter at his summer house?

He had neither a helicopter, nor a summer house...

That may be...

But he would never lie about something like this!

Can we be so sure?

Now you're starting to sound paranoid, Magnus.

Nope, no Aruba for us...

Laholm...!

LAHOLM JULY 2011

Can you...?

- Hello, hello! - Hi!

Hi!

Magnus, do you want rye bread with sprouts or cress?

- I'd like something sweet. - Cress it is.

He is just too sweet!

It's so wonderful that you met someone who is so driven.

- Someone who embraces life. - It's fantastic.

Who doesn't wait for others to take the initiative.

Jenny will dump him, as usual.

No, not this time.

Can you swear a death oath that you won't break up with him?

The death oath was something we did in sixth grade...

Maybe you're too scared.

Of course not! Let's do it!

Okay...

I, Jenny, swear

to never break up with Rune.

- If I break this oath... - I will die...

I will die...

All right, you've never done that with any guy.

That's how sure I am.

NOTHING HAPPENED IN LAHOLM TODAY EITHER

Carita, open the door.

My hands are full.

Laholm!

Everybody: La-la la-la-la La-la-la-la Laholm!

You too! La-la la-la-la La-la-la-la Laholm!

Ulf, we're here. Shut off the engine.

- Ulf! - La-la-la-la Laholm!

We're here.

Sorry, I was so excited. I am just so happy to be here.

Well... Déjà vu...

Let's not make the same mistake again.

Let's decide who sleeps where before we bring in our stuff.

- Isn't your guy coming? - Yes, but he's taking his airplane.

I need to rest here. If that's okay?

- The cancer is acting up... - Yes, of course.

Get a grip, Magnus! You have to accept that Ulf is sick.

This was the only room with a big enough closet.

Sure, that's okay.

What?

- Are you happy now? - This isn't so bad?

You are such a wuss!

Why don't you ever stand up for yourself?

You're the one who said I should accept Ulf is "sick".

Ulf, yes. But Jenny is healthy!

You have to stand up for us!

If there's room for the heart, there is room for the ass.

This isn't so bad.

Something's going on here, Carita. Hurry!

They say Harry Belafonte is in the shop. It's crazy!

Hurry up! I'll meet you there.

"Goran poured himself a whiskey with a steady hand.

"He took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest."

"He sat down on the bed, looked her in the eyes,

"and whispered, 'I want you.'"

I forgot my mouth guard.

- This isn't working. - I won't grind my teeth, promise.

I mean everything.

Living with you is like living with an old lady.

Lady?!

You order Baileys at the bar,

you eat cough drops and you hate drafts.

Drafts are not good. Remember my "frozen shoulder"?

Take off the goddamn dress!

I need a man! Look at Ulf! He's dying, but he takes it like a man.

Well, that is... if pretend-cancer can kill you...

How can you even say that?

You're not just an old lady, you're a mean old lady!

This was the last straw. I want a divorce.

- Shouldn't we talk about it? - No, my decision is final.

Here's the ring. Thanks for all the years. Good night.

Please, Mr. Minister of the Environment...

In here?

Wow!

Yes, keep going...

Ouch! What are you doing?

- Time to wake up, my dove. - No, I want to finish my dream.

But it's morning. I've been up for quite a while.

I'm getting hungry.

If it's not too much to ask that you make breakfast for a dying man?

Sure, I'll do it. Can't be that many times left.

You want a sandwich?

Do you know how to make Eggs Benedict?

Eggs Benedict? No, sorry.

First you poach an egg. Then you make Hollandaise...

...and then there's... You can google it!

But we don't have internet.

I want solutions, not more problems!

I'm dying, for Christ's sake!

Excuse me. Frida has something important to share.

She's called a meeting here in the big room.

Here they are. Quiet!

Late last night, Magnus and I decided

to file for divorce.

It was a tough decision

that took months of reflection to come to.

The separation will take effect immediately

and all marital obligations are revoked.

- Well... - I have a question...

I wonder...

- Ulf's wife. - Will you get back together?

- I'm positive... - No!

- Or... I have... - No.

- I'm open... - No.

- Never. - It doesn't look like it.

- I'd like to know... - How about...

I'm wondering...

The sick man. Be my guest.

Do either of you know how to make Eggs Benedict?

No.

Well, that concludes this meeting. Thanks for your attention.

- Thank you very much. - I'd like to ask...

How come Magnus...

Is there a slotted spoon in this house?

Get out. That's that.

- Oh, no! This place is full of kids. - Kids are sweet, don't you think?

Yuck, no! I hate kids. I never want kids.

Is there a beach for adults?

No, not here. We tried one of those in Denmark.

That's right. We were kicked out, if you remember...

Yes, the Danes are full of double standards.

Everybody's naked, but if you try to "poach the egg"

everyone screams.

Is this a good place?

This is great.

- It's so sad you're getting divorced. - Yes. But it's not 100% sure.

Sure, it is. Didn't you hear what they said at the press conference?

I'll see if I can find somewhere to change into swimming trunks.

Just do it here. Use your towel.

Magnus is such a prude.

Even back when we were married.

Yesterday. We were still married yesterday.

Stop living in the past. You have to move on.

Can you run off and get me a beer?

This cancer is making me thirsty.

Yeah... Sure.

This will be great. There we go!

- Fucking Norwegians. - Stop it.

OK, maybe that was rude. But Norwegians are so annoying.

They're pigs.

Will there be more Norwegians than Swedes here in the end?

Did you know the Norwegians only have sandwiches for lunch?

Sandwiches! What kind of a lunch is that?

Yes, it's him! He's already landed. We have to go pick him up!

Great idea! Let's leave right now.

Hello!

- Hi. - Hello.

Hi...

You have such beautiful weather in Sweden! Hi...

I had the Atlantic winds in my sails all the way from Oslo.

- Frida. - Hi.

This is Magnus, my ex.

Hi, I'm Ulf. And this is my wife.

- Ulf's wife. Hi. - Hi.

Your own private plane, huh?

It's an old Piper the board gifted to me when I got my license.

- "RJ." What's that stand for? - They're my initials.

Rune Johansen, the sexiest man alive.

You're welcome to join me. There's room for everyone.

- Yes! - No, thank you!

Okay...

Thank God we broke up.

I'm hungry. One shouldn't skip lunch!

Let's go shopping!

Let's make sure we get a hot meal. I can't eat sandwiches.

No, we'll get sandwiches for the Norwegian.

- He has to adapt to our culture. - Yes. This is Sweden.

SUPERMARKET OPEN

We need oil for the grill. I wonder where it is?

Here. Leave it to a Norwegian to find oil.

- You're so amazing. - So are you.

There. That'll be 2,300 kronor, please.

Can I pay with Norwegian money?

- Yes, that's fine. - Great.

Thank you.

- Here's your change. - Thanks.

Thank you.

He's so nice, Jenny. I want to meet a Norwegian too.

They're so tall and strong, and they love to hike.

What did Magnus do?

He played Canasta and did workouts for pregnant women.

I'm sure there's a Norwegian for you out there, Frida.

- Do you think Skavlan is single? - I'm pretty sure he's not single.

That word "single" has so many meanings, you know?

You can single someone or something out, for instance.

And a single from an album. The record with just one song.

At least, you think it's one song.

But a lot of times there's a B-side, so you get two songs.

We're talking about single, as in living alone.

When you're not dating. You don't have anyone!

That's not a bad thing...

To be one's own boss can be nice.

You mean you're all alone at home?

Nobody else is around? Is that what you mean?

Yes, yes.

So you have free rein? Say I wanted to listen to music.

I can walk up to the computer and go, "I feel like Céline Dion today."

Not Nordman on loop.

I only cut my own toenails.

I get the feeling it's kind of like living with someone dead.

Is that right?

Jesus, guess what I'm thinking now?

I wonder if Rolv Wesenlund is single these days?

Huh?

Day-O! Remember "Fleksnes"? It was so funny.

So, where are the girls?

I don't know how you do things in Norway, but barbecuing here

means the men do the grilling and the women make the salad.

But why?

Well, why...

Why do we celebrate Midsummer?

Why do we have a Christmas tree at Christmas? It's tradition.

I think it's a matter of qualifications too.

Lots of women are scared of fire.

That dates back to when we lived in caves.

I'm gonna flip this bad boy, but let's see if we can...

Give this guy a kiss...

I love barbecuing in the summer.

FLASHER IN LAHOLM

Oh my God!

There's a flasher on the loose in Laholm!

- What? - He was at the same beach!

That's terrible!

Did he show his wiener on our beach?

- Ew! - They should be burned alive.

This was so yummy!

A little tough, but yummy!

Yes, yummy. But you shouldn't eat too much barbecued meat.

It can cause cancer.

- Well... - But, yeah...

It was yummy...

- What? - Rune, I...

I haven't told you this, but...

I might as well just say it.

- Ulf here has cancer. - Well...

I see!

Rune is a doctor. He's a cancer specialist.

- Damn. - What was that?

I said, "Damn... Damn, this is good."

- Are you happy with your doctor? - Yes. My doctor, yes.

He's so professional. There's the...

He has the white coat. And...

...a beard. He's got a beard.

And... he's very competent.

May I ask what his name is?

Yes, you may. Ask me his name. His name...

You said his name was Palm Pot.

Palm Pot?

- Is that a colleague of yours? - Dr. Pot? No.

Let's talk about something more fun.

Yes!

Want to tell the story about your mom's bike accident?

That's not funny, Ulf.

She broke her hip and ended up in the hospital.

No, I need more beer.

Can you go get me one?

The cancer makes me so tired.

Do you know anything about euthanasia, Rune?

- How did you like my friends? - Well...

- I know they can be weird. - It was fun meeting them.

- Sad about Ulf. - Yes.

I'll see what I can do for him.

You are amazing!

- Jenny? - Uh-huh?

Will you...

Will you marry me?

But, Rune, we just met!

Yes!

In Norway it's tradition for the

fiancé to give his fiancée a little engagement present.

How romantic!

A butt plug.

What?

It's a butt plug.

Oh, ah!

No, it's a pacifier.

- Yes. - Yes.

I thought it might come in handy. Soon.

Oh... Okay...

Do you like kids?

To me, they're what life's all about.

I want you to be the woman who bears my children.

If you feel the same way.

Absolutely.

Let's hope it happens.

- What are you reading? - A travel brochure.

- Do you want to travel? - I am going to travel.

I booked a trip to Corsica.

Boring! I don't really feel like going at all.

But this is in the fall. When I'll be living as a single person.

Because you're thinking I won't be around then?

Exactly. And I'll need

to get my spirits up and my strength back.

It'll have been a rough time for me.

- "Party cruise"? - Mm.

"You can lounge poolside by day,

then do throw back shots in the evening and attend the singles' party."

I think I'm going to go for the view of the ocean.

Speak Norwegian to me, Rune!

It's so sexy!

- What do you want me to say? - How do you say hedgehog?

Pinnsvin.

- And sidewalk? - Fortau.

What about tacos?

How do you say tacos?

- Tacos. - How do you say it?

Tacos!

- You call them tacos? - Yes. Tacos.

- How do you say lingonberry? - Tyttebär.

Here we go...

Time for breakfast.

- Can you serve yourself? - Yeah.

There's an article about the flasher!

"Yesterday the flasher was spotted at Laholm's crowded beach."

It could be a misunderstanding.

FLASHER CAUSES STIR IN LAHOLM

"Witnesses describe the man as short, of weak build,

with sickly pale skin, probably albino."

Scary.

"He has a double chin and close-set eyes."

"He looks to be about 45."

45?! Come on!

- I mean... Yuck. - Yes, that's right.

Hi!

We have something to tell you.

- Yesterday I asked Jenny... - We're engaged!

- Congratulations! - Wow!

Congrats!

It's really time to start a family.

- You strike while the iron is hot? - What do you mean?

You got an early start last night!

Oh, sorry if we disturbed you.

No worries. You're already planning on having kids?

- Yes. - No, we're not.

Yes. We are.

There.

- Oh, you're here? - Hi.

- It's been a while. - Yes.

- You look well. - Thanks. It's going well.

You still have the same job?

Yes, nothing has changed.

I wish I would get paid for overtime...

- Anything new about Ulf? - I just saw him outside.

He seems to be doing relatively well.

- Good, good. - That's good.

Yes...

- Want a coffee? - It's over, Magnus.

It's over.

- Hi. - Hi.

Have you heard the crazy stuff that's going on in the cottage?

Jenny and Rune are engaged and are going to have children.

What a vacation!

Jenny's engaged, I got divorced, and you'll be a widow.

Oh my God... Should we celebrate this?

- I mean, about Jenny. - Yes!

Let's go to the pub tonight. Just the girls.

Sure.

Ulf? I'd like to talk to you about your illness.

No, I don't want to talk about it.

But I'm a doctor. Maybe I can help.

I'm sure it'll be fine.

What medication are you taking?

Medication... What aren't I taking?

What are they called?

The names are so weird, I don't know them by heart.

Maybe I can take a look at them?

Yeah.... Sure... I'll get them for you later.

I'm already up, so I can get them if you tell me where they are.

- I didn't bring them here. - What?

I'm taking a break over the summer.

- So, no problem. - No, you can't take a break now.

You can't take a break, Ulf!

I'm gonna get my colleague in Helsingborg to send some meds.

You're so lucky, Ulf!

Hey...

Don't be afraid. We'll handle this together.

Together.

Come on, tiger.

Hey, one more of these. No, make it two!

My friend got engaged. But I'm divorced.

- Huh? - I'm single!

- I'm almost a widow. - Huh?

I'm a widow!

Lucky that Rune could get cancer meds on such short notice.

Yes. Very lucky.

Tell me, Rune... It's a very unpleasant treatment, right?

Yes, it can be really unpleasant.

But, as we say in Norway, it's a necessary evil.

If a person didn't have cancer, it'd be crazy to do this?

Yes, absolutely.

How does that make you feel, Ulf?

Want to share your feelings?

I just hope it won't be too bad... Ouch!

Don't worry. I'm here to support you all the way.

- Popcorn? Rune? - Yes.

Good, Ulf.

You're discovering your inner strength.

I heard Vegard Ulvang at a lecture once.

He said...

"When you push your body to the limits...

"When you live up to your greatest potential...

"In that moment... then and there...

- Shut up! - "You're the...

- I'm throwing up. - Good, Ulf.

- I feel better now. - Yes, but it'll get worse.

I don't think so.

- It'll get worse. - No!

Hi, how's it going? Everything okay, Ulf?

- I'm in hell... - Okay, great!

- Rune, may I speak to you? - Sure.

You seem to know what women want.

Frida left me, as you know, and she's at the pub,

and it's full of other guys...

And...

Yes?

I'm thinking about going there to win her back.

Women love men who are willing to fight for their love.

- A woman like Ida... - Frida.

Frida...

I would never let her go without a fight.

So you think I should go?

If you don't go, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

- Vegard Ulvang said-- - Can someone shut him up?

Okay! Thanks!

One Baileys, please.

- Is this seat taken? - Here's your Baileys.

Don't spill any on your dress!

Keep the change.

God damn it.

- Why are you here, Magnus? - Surprised?

Hey, pony tail! That's my wife you're trying to pick up.

- Are you crazy?! - Why don't we step outside?

- We're just talking. - Sorry, what did you say?

Talking is harmless.

How drunk are you?

Excuse me.

Oh...

- Do you want to fight me? - No.

- I'd love to fight you. Come on! - That's not such a good idea.

What are you afraid of?

Are you scared your dress will get dirty, little missus?

Okay, let's go! You and me. Outside. Now!

- God damn it. - Jesus...

I'm going to tear you a new asshole, you fucking clown!

Well, how do we solve this?

Magnus is fighting a guy for me outside.

Come on!

- All of Skåne will be embarrassed. - Sure...

And your ex will have nothing to do with you.

Come on, you stupid southerner.

You pasty-faced nincompoop.

Hey! Look at me! You get one free punch.

One free punch. Come on! Do it!

Come on! One...

- This isn't working. - Come on, jackass.

When I'm finished with you, you'll be in a wheelchair, too!

What? Is he going to get away...

- God damn it. - Ow!

- Give up, schmuck. - Ow, my testicles!

My testicle is cracking! Ow! I give up!

Yes!

Stay down, you fool. Fucking southerner!

- I'm lying down! - Serves you right, you dumb fuck!

What kind of a person are you?

Last call! Do you want something else?

What's wrong, honey? Lay it on me. I've heard it all.

It's my boyfriend. He...

He proposed!

And he wants kids. Which I don't at all.

Don't talk like that! I've never regretted having kids.

This is Melanie. My daughter. My little gold nugget.

We're really close.

Not personally, but in age.

I'm just five years older. I started young.

I don't think being a mother is for me.

- So end it. - I can't.

Why not?

Because we're getting married and...

- I swore a death oath. - Wait...

- Melanie, bedtime. - Ugh!

There are ways out of this.

Scare him, so he dumps you.

For me, it's usually enough to introduce them to Melanie.

Make sure he knows you're the wrong girl for him.

Your drinks are on me.

Oh no...

God damn it...

No...

- Watch the bush. - Why do we have to go shopping?

- I'm so hung-over... - I can tell.

I need a pick-me-up. Is there any booze in the car?

Just the wiper fluid.

We're here!

That was quick. I thought we were going to a deli.

A deli? No, this is more my speed.

A typical Swedish discount store.

They've got it all. Cheap booze and black-market cigs.

Remember when Sweden was an industrialized country?

Yes, but now we need some "morning after" food.

- This is really cheap! - "Party pizza"?

I'm sure it's fine. Says here, "Suitable for human consumption."

I wonder where they keep the mixers?

Can we go over to the kids department for a bit?

CHEMICAL ANT KILLER

FUNERAL PARLOR

- Isn't it nice to get this done? - Yes, it is.

It's so nice in here. I could see myself coming back.

Let's see here, Ulf.

I've gone through all your wishes.

If we start with the ad, this is what it will look like.

ALL-IN ULF

And the collection... You want it to go to the Swedish Democrats?

- Yes. - Great.

All your wishes are in these documents.

I'll take that.

- Does the headstone need upkeep? - No, it's maintenance free.

- And the price? - 5,500 kronor.

It's a little too expensive...

We don't have to decide all this now.

I can sell off your stuff online and get money for it that way.

- You're selling my stuff online? - Not yet.

I mean, after you're dead.

Anyway, the total comes to 63,400 kronor.

We'd prefer if you could make a down payment today.

Yes, we'll have to do that.

I think it's best if we sell off the stock. You're not going to need it.

- But, it's money I... - But, Ulf!

Listen to me. You will be dead.

Dead people are still. At most there'll be drops on your forehead.

You won't waste energy.

Everything will be much cheaper. For me.

Wait a minute! I have something to tell you!

What are you talking about?

Well, it's...

Well, this thing about me and the cancer...

It's not really... What's the word? True.

What?

Sometimes you just say stuff.

If you're late for work, you say it was the bus that was late.

And if you want to go to Laholm, you say you've got cancer.

- What are you saying? - You discuss things...

...and then you need something serious.

And suddenly this pops out of your mouth.

- You don't have cancer? - No, I'm totally healthy.

I've been lying all summer!

Yes!

No....

I thought you'd be happy.

- No. - I'm healthy.

We can take the party cruise together.

It's not the same.

I had to lie! I was backed into a corner.

- The trip here was in danger. - Yes, but...

What about the diaper? You've worn one all summer.

Yes, but that was for practical reasons.

We have to go tell the others. We have to inform them.

- What? No. - Yes!

We have one more week left. We have to keep quiet.

- No, let's tell them now. - No! We can't tell them!

I'll do anything.

Anything at all.

Frida! Come! Follow me!

Magnus, please... Have you assaulted a dwarf?

- Ulf has confessed! - What's happening?

I have proof! Ulf just told his wife he doesn't have cancer!

I'm not paranoid.

- Come! - OK, but take it easy with my bag!

I, Ulf, promise to never force my way into a bathtub

if said bathtub is already occupied.

Number three. I, Ulf...

...promise to never mention the words "go-kart"...

You have to write quicker. It's taking too long.

..."monster truck"...

And that thing...

Ping-Pong show.

Aha! Game over!

So Ulf doesn't have cancer? He's been lying!

And his wife can confirm this.

Is it true?

Please. Ulf is writing his last will and testament.

- What? - Yes!

But, please...

- You can say that again. - But I heard...

But, please...

That was close!

I'm not comfortable with this.

You did great. When they ask, you just say...

"Ulf is terribly sick."

"He could die any minute."

Any minute?

"He could die any minute."

And now for a heinous crime.

We turn south, where evil has yet again reared its ugly head.

The flasher of Laholm strikes again. People are getting worried.

The flasher was spotted again last night.

It's so unreal that it actually happened here in Laholm.

You get scared and pissed off.

It's hard to believe that this could happen in Laholm.

I would understand if it happened in bumfuck Falkenberg.

Not here.

Isn't there anything good on?

He's a deeply disturbed individual.

This could be the result of some trauma.

Like a divorce, for instance.

It's hard to believe it could happen here.

It'd be different if it happened in bumfuck Falkenberg.

- The police have a drawing of-- - No! Now...

We can't sit here and watch TV all summer! We should take a trip!

Far away from Laholm. Can we go on your plane, Rune?

- Sure, if you want to. Now? - Yes.

No, it'll have to be tomorrow. It's nearly dark.

Let's do it tomorrow. Fly out over international waters.

- But you're scared of flying. - Me? No.

Are you kidding? I love flying!

Let's pack!

Good morning, the most beautiful woman in the world!

I've got Eggs Benedict for you.

Wow... Just put it there. I want to sleep a little longer.

- Of course. - But... Are you wearing a wig?

- You can tell? - Yes.

Rune is giving me medication that causes hair loss.

I bought this yesterday. I didn't think you would notice.

But the price tag is visible. That makes it noticeable.

Come on! Hurry! We have to get to the airport.

- Do you have...? - And you a...?

Come on!

POLICE PREPARED TO ARREST

FLASHER IN LAHOLM STRIKES AGAIN

It's a slow process. To get ready for a flight.

- One can't be too careful. - Nope.

Is there anything I can do to help?

You can fill the tank. It's just like with a car.

I can do that.

I'm going on board to do the checklist. Don't forget the gas cap.

No!

Let's go!

POLICE

What a glorious day! Perfect day for a flight!

What?

What the hell?

What's happening? Everything went silent.

The engines have stopped!

We're out of gas! We're losing altitude!

Dump anything we don't need!

But! Wasn't that a parachute?

What? Oh, no. That probably wasn't good.

Shit, this doesn't work. We're going down. We have to jump.

- Take over. - Me?

I have to prepare the others. Here you go!

- We're missing a parachute. - I accidentally threw it out.

- Okay, we're short one parachute. - One of us has to stay behind.

It would be a nice gesture, Ulf, if you...

He's... You know.

- Yes, that makes sense. - That's for the best.

Wait! I don't have cancer!

I lied so you would come to Laholm!

Are you're telling the truth now?

You know! Tell them!

Ulf is terribly ill. He could die any minute.

God damn it! Not now! Do you want me to die?

No, okay... Ulf has been lying all summer.

I knew it! Palm Pot, what the hell kind of a name is that?

How could you lie about that?

No, Ulf! Let go! We have to draw lots.

Eeny, meeny, miny...

moe... Catch a tiger by...

the toe... If he hollers...

- ...let him go. - Yes!

- Bad luck. You're staying. - That's not how it works.

You count until there's only one left. I'm safe.

No, you lost!

- Rune? - Sorry. You don't want kids.

I have to continue my hunt for a childbearing wife.

- I'm pregnant! - What?

I'm carrying your child, Rune.

Oh.

Then I have to stay.

What?

As a pilot and a father, it is my duty to stay behind.

- Yes. - Fine by me.

Jenny? Name him Rune.

Frida? I was thinking about the divorce.

You said it was too much when I accused Ulf of lying.

But now that it turns out I was right, maybe we can start over?

It's so much more than that, Magnus.

I want excitement, passion.

I'm sorry.

Excitement? What do you call this then?

Praise the Lord!

We're alive!

- What about Rune? - That's right... Rune...

It was so nice of him to sacrifice himself.

Such a strong person.

Norwegians are such a noble people, after all.

How exciting that you're pregnant, Jenny! It's wonderful!

- It was just something I said. - What?

Oh, really...

What the--? Lying about something so serious to us?

At least I didn't break up with him.

- The death oath! - Right.

Where's Magnus? Didn't he make it?

What?

No, but please...

I think he fell out of his pants.

- Oh, well... - Magnus...

Four out of six survivors isn't bad.

Oh my God! Look!

- Oh, please... - Oh, gosh...

Oh... What a relief!

That was the last of them. Let's go!

What's happening, Magnus?

- This is the flasher of Laholm. - There's no proof.

He might look boring and ordinary, but this is a dangerous person.

Really...

No, I'm disgusted. To think Magnus is the flasher of Laholm!

It's just sick.

I always thought there was something funny about him.

His old robe that always seemed to open to reveal Mr. Pecker..

Yes.

Just imagine, Frida... You've been living with a dangerous criminal.

- Frida? - Yes, imagine...

- No drawing on the walls. - Oops. Sorry.

You have a visitor.

Hi!

You really fucked up, Magnus.

I know, but I'm innocent. It's just a stupid misunderstanding.

You don't have to lie to me. I know you did it. It's okay.

- Is it dangerous in there? - No.

I burned myself on the coffee. The machine's not great.

And there's a draft in my room, so I've got a stiff neck.

You're so brave, honey.

Alone in this hellhole with all these monsters.

- Who's that? - Nils-Erik.

They call him P-Nisse.

He has a nickname.

He's got over 30 unpaid parking tickets. He's the worst in Laholm.

Don't look him in the eyes!

Magnus?

I'm wearing the ring again.

- I'll wait for you to get out. - Well, this door opens.

I have something for you.

- A shank. - What's that?

If someone attacks you in the shower, stab them in the thigh.

I'll sneak it in for you. I just have to blow the guard...

No, no, no. What? No. I'll be fine.

To think that I would fall for a gangster...

Yeah, that's me...

- Uncle Gunnar. - Sorry for your loss.

Uncle Börje.

How nice of you to come.

Rune talked so much about you, Jenny.

Siri and I i are so grateful that you arranged this memorial.

- It was the least I could do. - It was very kind.

Did you know what Rune wanted for his funeral?

No, I got this from Ulf and his wife and then...

...I changed "Ulf" to "Rune."

- Thanks. - Glad you could use it.

It took some time to fill it out...

- You're a strong woman. - It hasn't been easy.

We were just about to get married, and it didn't happen.

- Well... What do you do? - I'm a priest.

We remember Rune as a happy, upbeat, and very candid person.

He touched everyone he met.

He was never afraid to speak his mind

about tax burdens or immigration.

His interests ranged from go-karts to beer

and pornography.

He had literary ambitions, but, unfortunately, his erotic novels

were never published.

They let you out?

Three hours. It's all the bastards would give me.

I can't go any farther because of the ankle bracelet.

Fuck it! It doesn't matter.

We will sing a song that meant a lot to Rune.

ALL-IN RUNE

To Laholm, yes to Laholm We're going to Laholm

We will go swimming then we'll have a BBQ...

Oil! Yes!

Subtitle translation by: T.P. Lindberg BQ...