Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

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- "Open now the porcelain vessel.

"Shades of darkness, creatures dire."

- We're here.

- You said the magic words. - Here's Johnny.

Prize time you win a trip to the Super Bowl!

- Give it to me.

Use this one.

- Close your eyes. - Why?

Use your heads.

- The book!

- "Shades of darkness!" - No!

- "Creatures dire!

"Transform me now into consuming fire!"

- Good morning.

This is WGAZ, GAZ.

Rise and shine.

It's day one of prank week.

Will the Betas regain the prank crown from the Gammas?

Only time will tell.

- Hey!

- Hey!

- Oh, shit!

- Huh?

Whoa!

Professor, get out of the way!

Whoa!

- What?

Whoa.

Number one.

This is one for the collection.

Whoa, whoa!

Conjures the spirits of dark mirth.

Hermetic words of ancient lore,

make ghoulies slumber deep no more.

Through dark fantastic dance of night.

Wow, what is this shit?

- Hey, Wes, come on!

We're gonna be late.

It's prank week.

- Yeah, okay, okay, I'm coming.

- Can't spend all day on the can, amigo.

What'd you do, fall in?

Brothers, there's just no comparing a Gamma yank

with a Beta Zeta Theta yank.

Would a Gamma have the cunning to drill

and re-pipe every campus water fountain?

Would a Gamma Psi, could a Gamma Psi

ever conceive of rigging an ejector bench?

- Skip Carter, you are a yanking god.

- And remember, you have lunch with

the board of regents at noon today.

- Oh.

- All right, move, move, move.

Professor coming through.

- Oh, it's the old man.

- Perfect.

- Brothers, now here's a prime example of a lame yank,

no doubt perpetrated by those brain-drained Gamma Psis.

I'll bet they're aiming a water Cannon at us right now.

- All right, come on now. - Coming through.

Coming through. - All right, please.

- There are classes being held today, you know.

- Professor Ragnar.

- Carter.

Don't touch me.

- Clap it, slap it, wrap it.

- You won't get away with those foolish pranks this year.

- But that wasn't us.

- I catch you one more time,

you and your silly frat brothers are out.

- Huh! - Come.

- Gamma, Gamma, Gamma!

- Yes, clap it, slap it, and wrap it.

Too bad, Carter.

- Heilman, you think asshole tactics like that

are gonna win you the prank crown this year?

- Wait, repeat, repeat.

- Poor loser, Skippy. - Hey, Heilman.

What are you gonna do, send all the judges

to Florida again this year?

- Come Wednesday night that crown

is gonna be back where it belongs.

At Beta Zeta Theta.

- Yeah!

Beta Theta

No one's greater - We're the prank kings.

Beta Theta

Greater

- They're funny.

They're funny.

- I had to finish two term papers last night.

- I partied hearty last night.

- You guys going to the game tonight?

- Hi, Erin.

- Hi, Skip.

- Wait, don't eat that.

- Why not? - 'Cause it's wax.

They're all wax.

- Gee, Skip, you're quite the yanker.

Bet you spent all night rigging that one.

- Look, Erin, about last night.

I'm sure you think I'm an insensitive, selfish clod.

- Not to mention psychic.

- But I didn't stand you up.

I just sort of forgot.

- Oh, well, since you put it that way.

- Come on, you know it's prank week.

You know how much Beta Zeta Theta wants the crown back.

- And you knew we had a date last night, Skip.

- Where are your priorities?

- You're my priority, Erin.

Come on, how about letting a charming,

attractive guy walk you to class?

- Fine.

- Erin. - Jeremy.

You know Skip, right?

- Sure.

How's tricks, Skippy?

Strike two.

- Yoo-hoo!

- We got him!

- This is an institution of learning,

and those of you that forget that

will soon have plenty of time on

your hands to think about it.

All right, the myth of Pandora.

I trust that you've all acquainted

yourself with Pandora's Box?

What's funny?

Pandora.

Charming.

Cunning.

Curious creature.

Mr. Nesley, Miss Palm, am I boring you?

- Oh, yes, sir.

- "Ghoulish Tales."

Is that comic more interesting to you than my class?

- Well, yes, sir.

- Oh, no!

Uh-oh.

- "Ghoulish Tales.

Chapter One.

Wraiths of spirit,

grotesque in form,

rudely summoned to be born.

Wake to this, the mage's call.

Traverse gateway, come in haste.

Through porcelain place of earthly waste."

This is rubbish!

- Whoa!

- Enough of this foolishness.

Now, I'd like you all to get out paper and pencil

and get ready for a pop quiz.

Laugh if you must,

but it'll pay you to remember

that, as Professor of Humanities'

I am also Dean of Students,

and your transcripts,

your graduation, your future is in my hands.

And if this imbecilic prank war between

your fraternities continues, the ax will fall!

- Skip, we can't find the pizza we ordered.

- Do you have a large sausage?

- No complaints yet.

- Hey, Maryann, watch this.

- Like my Yamabachi?

It's got a three-beam laser tracking system,

a linear auto-play function,

and a dual-digit audio tape.

- You pud.

- Scott, play some of my jams!

- Whoo-ee, Wes is getting a licking.

- Man, girl oughta work in a post office.

- Yeah, look at her check out his package.

But you can't help

If you don't need help

- Wesley.

F.

"Ghoulish Tales."

- You like my Yamabachi?

It's got a three-beam laser tracking system,

a linear auto-play function

and a dual digit audio tape.

- You pud.

- Oh, Veronica.

Dude, that was so.

So. - Shh.

Wesley, don't ruin it by being reflective.

There's a party going on

- Let's go to Skip's room with the equipment, huh?

- No, not the equipment.

- So, any sign of Erin?

- Nah, but she'll show.

Once she realizes that Jeremy

and the Gammas are all the same guy

same clothes, the same brain, small one.

- Hey, somebody get the door.

- That must be Erin now.

Hi there, sexy.

- Sexy?

- Officer Barcus, what a surprise.

- Hey, hey, are you coming on to me, Carter?

- Well, I do love a man in Maidenform.

Still wearing those ladies, undies?

- Yeah.

Hey, wait a minute.

Who told you about that?

Those are doctor's orders.

I got sensitive skin.

- Okay, okay, don't get your panties in a bunch.

Wow.

Would you look at Miss Bonnie.

- Yeah, looking pretty good, isn't she?

- Yeah. - Got a new siren'

new paint, 14 coats of nitro-cellulose lacquer.

Honeymoon Beige.

- Mm, solid. - Yeah.

- So, tell me, officer.

What brings you to Beta Zeta Theta house?

- I can't remember.

I'm here to give you fair warning, Carter.

Dean of Students Ragnar, he's assigned me to double duty

to keep an eye on you pranksters.

So, if you or any of your frat-rat friends

were to try anything this week, and I mean anything,

you're gonna have to deal with me and with Bonnie.

- Hey, no problem.

Nobody messes with 24 volts of pure DC power.

- Jesus Bonnie!

- Well, not nobody.

- Just Sally, the self-cleaning sex doll.

- Yank away!

- My God.

- Faster, Wes!

Faster, faster!

Keep pumping, Wes.

Keep pumping!

Faster!

Okay, okay, okay.

- No.

No. - Yes!

- No! - Yes!

- No. - Yes!

- Stop!

- Pixel. - Hey.

- Where you guys been? - You don't want to know.

- Help, get this off!

- Now some girls will do anything for a buck.

Hey, are you okay in there?

Not you, pal.

I meant the girl inside.

Get off her head, come on.

- Hey, Ronnie, look who it is this.

- Skip. - Erin.

- Well, nobody told me this was a stag party.

- No! - Don't move.

She was stuck.

I was just trying to help.

She had a little too much elk-ohol.

Look, Erin, I'm sorry.

God, you look great.

Thanks for coming.

- Here. - My letter jacket?

- Look, I'm sorry, I just can't see a future

with a guy whose sole goal in life

is to be crowned Prince of Pranks.

- What, so you're serious about this?

- Look, I gotta go.

- Erin, wait.

- Skip, just be careful, okay?

Don't throw away four years of college.

- Erin, let's move it.

- Goodbye, Skip.

- Buenos noches, , Skippy.

- Night, Jeremy!

Oh, and, Erin, don't wait up.

See, I told you she'd show up.

- "Through dark fantastic dance of night.

"Splenetic birth conjures the spirit of dark mirth.

"Wraiths of spirit,

"grotesque in form,

"rudely summoned to be born.

"Wake to this the mage's call,

"Water bubbles, vessel breaks,

"the earthly bowel in turmoil shakes.

"Traverse gateway, come in haste,

"through porcelain place of earthly waste.

"Spirits rear, I now command you to appear."

- What a dump!

- Ow, ow, this.

Hey, ow, hold on, I'm coming.

Oh, gosh.

- Oh, no. - I better start aerobicizing.

- Not him again. - Hold on, I'm coming.

I'm coming, I'm up, I'm almost through.

Here I am, I'm here, I'm here, ow.

- Why can't I get union help?

- Honey, I'm home.

- Turn around, you moron.

- Hey! - What an idiot.

- Gang way!

Hello, world, how are ya?

Hey, get off the floor.

I'm talking to you.

You're way too slow.

- Oh, God.

- I'm back.

- No, I got a problem with this.

You're too slow. - All right, I'm coming.

- It's starting. - All day long.

Morning, noon, and night.

- Leave me alone. - You know what I'm saying.

- You're an idiot, you're an idiot

Just leave me alone. - You're really beginning

to really piss me off.

- Boys, knock it off!

Ow!

- Let's take a tour around, schmucks.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Guys, guys!

What are we doing here?

It's prank week.

Let's go yank!

Yeah!

- Yankee! - Yank!

Yank!

Yank!

Yank!

- Skip man, I know what would cheer you up, a good prank.

- Maybe, but only if it's a Gamma yank.

- What, tonight?

That place is gonna be tighter than Fort Knox.

- Mook, getting past those Gamma chumps will be easy as--

- Pie. - Cake.

- Ice cream!

- Wes! - Oh, Wesley.

We're leaving you to yank, okay?

You're the last one here.

- Fine.

Fine!

- Now it's up to you to guard this house from the Gammas.

Comprendo? - And, Wes.

Don't trash my room.

- Yank away! - Yank away!

- Mm, smells like something screwy's going on, boss.

What do you say, what do you say?

- Oh, yeah, come on.

Come on, move it up here.

Spread out!

- Yes.

Oh, Wesley.

Oh, Wesley!

Oh, yes!

- Keep it down, you idiots.

Would you get out of the way?

You're on my foot again.

Listen to me, you boobs.

- Whoa. - Wow.

Hot cross buns, yum.

- Yeah. - Varoom!

Last Tango In Paradise, wow.

- Ooh! - It's okay.

- Okay.

- Ooh, what a mouthful.

- Come on, you guys' let's get a closer look.

Okay, come on.

Look at that rump steak.

- "Appear before me now, Yargon Ghoulie.

"Appear before thy dark master."

- Oh, wait. - What?

- Come here. - Whoa, wait.

- Thanks, pal.

Great timing.

- Yeah, what'd you do with the bodacious babe?

- You got any eclairs in here?

- Get me outta here. - What a night.

- Mother of mercy, what have I done?

Get away from me!

- Wow, what happened?

- What was that?

- I didn't hear anything.

- No, no, no, no, somebody's out there.

- Oh, come on, Wesley, don't you want me?

- Want you?

Of course, I want you.

What do you call the last 20 minutes?

- Foreplay.

- No, listen, I gotta go guard the frat, right?

- Okay, make it quick, huh?

- So, I'll be right back, okay?

- Hurry up.

- It's okay, boy.

We're safe now.

Okay.

Wow, somebody blew major chow.

- Come to papa.

You ever think to knock?

- Holy shit!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

- Bad boy.

- You forgot to flush.

- Get him, Ratty.

Good one.

Ooh, right in the ballpark.

- Two balls, one strike.

- Yeah, get him.

Wesley, are you in the toilet?

- Let him have it.

- Goodbye, cruel world.

Watch your face.

- That happened to me once.

Killed my back.

Threw my tennis game off completely.

- Let's blow this poop stand.

- Oh, pizza.

- Forget the pizza let's go for the babes.

- I want the pizza.

- Forget both of you.

- Can I eat the lamp?

- Over here, over here

Shut up!

- You're an idiot.

- Move your tail out of the way!

- Ow, ow!

I was walking. - What an idiot.

Let's go over here. - Ow, don't hit me.

- Shut up, you guys, look this is it.

Check it out.

- Not interesting. - Where'd everybody go?

Where are we?

What's going on?

- So, what's your major?

- Schmuck slapping!

- Ow!

- It's party time!

- Boys, Music Appreciation 101.

Easy listening music?

I hate easy music!

I hate all music!

I hate my mother!

I hate my father!

I hate tan girl!

I hate all kinds of people!

I also hate Volkswagens.

- Ta-da!

Looks like a par four.

Oh, it drives, and it drives, and drives.

I win, I win!

- What are you doin'?

- Uh, eating.

- Playing through.

- Mine, mine.

Mine.

Get away.

- You pig.

- Ow.

- Quit it.

- The galloping gourmets.

- Eat it, eat it, eat it.

You really piss me off. - Leave me alone.

- Boys.

- Ow!

- Beer run!

- I'm gonna open it.

- Open Sesame.

- This is it, go.

- Pinch me, guys, I'm dreaming.

- Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

- I'll just take one.

- Wrong one, schmuck.

- Oh, God, I gotta go.

- And it's bat night at Gamma.

- Check out Blane, the dick brain.

Pee racing some guy on their own frat lawn.

- Hey, hey, come on, that's Leo.

- Midnight the pranking hour.

Give me the slingshot, Mook.

Let's test out their sense of fun, shall we?

- Skip, wait.

You sure you wanna do this?

This would be majorly violating yank rules.

- Just watch.

- Hey, hey, hey, come on!

Jesus!

Are you kidding?

- Oh, man genius, pure and simple!

- Sorry. - God.

- And now for my next trick.

- This is great! - Yeah.

Beer!

- Bottles of beer on the wall in the big fat can.

- Jeez, light a match!

- Imported my favorite.

- What a sap.

Here, gimme that.

Here.

Try some.

- More beer, yum, yum.

- Tastes great.

- That's filling yum, yum.

- What? - What?

- Isn't that?

- Jeremy's scooter.

- No.

More.

Oh, my!

My, my.

Nightcap anyone?

- Now.

Let's go.

- Skip, you're a master.

His bike pulls the cable,

and he gets dumped with trash.

I do love prank week.

- And the night's so young.

Let's go.

- Prank week?

- Prank week.

- Pancake?

- Better take care of that hearing problem.

- Nice bike.

Get to work.

- I'll do it, I'll do it.

Yeah, I'm going, boss, I'm going.

I'm always doing the dirty work.

Always me, always me, always me.

- All it needs is a little bodywork, yeah.

- We won't need a tire anymore.

How about this Fender?

Too shiny, too shiny.

Hey, look, boss, I'm making a bike.

- Good, over there.

That part. - Waitress.

Wait check, please.

- Oh, Skipper!

- Be it ever so homely.

There's no place like home.

Gee, who called the maid?

- I don't remember having this much fun.

- Mr. Yamabachi.

Mr. Yamabachi.

Oh, the humanity.

- You know who did this?

I'll bet I know.

I'll bet it was the Gammas.

Yep, it's just like those creeps.

Blane and Jeremy and.

- Wes.

- Wes! - Oh, Wesley.

Wesley.

- Wes!

- Wes!

No Wes.

- They drank our brews, all 2,001.

- Brothers, a yank, is a yank, is a yank.

But, gentlemen, this is war.

- Damn straight! - Let's do it!

- But first, Wes is dead.

So, Wes didn't call you or anything since last night?

- Nope, just got up and walked away.

He skipped out on me.

On me.

Can you believe it?

- Go figure.

- You know, I always wondered about Wes.

I mean, any guy who keeps a pile of comic books

under his bed is just not healthy.

You know what I mean?

- Yeah.

Yeah, I'm getting it.

Oh, listen.

Did you see or hear anything last night?

Like Gammas causing major damage to our house?

- No.

But Wes said he heard someone call him.

And when I went downstairs,

place was trashed.

Wesley was gone.

- Shit.

Shit.

Maybe the Gammas snatched him.

You know, they nabbed him last year.

- Well, that's it then, kidnapped.

Damn, they're just getting so big.

Oh, poo.

Skip, my best bra, and the clasp broke.

Do you think you could fix it?

- Well, I can try, sure.

Erin, hi.

I was just looking for Wes.

- Really, where were you looking?

Ronnie, get dressed.

- Look, this isn't what you think.

You'd know that if you were here this morning.

- Oh, really, what are you trying to say, Skip?

- You know, the shit you pulled last night, Carter'

was strictly below the belt.

- You just read my mind, Heilman.

- Oh?

Translate, please.

- I suppose you don't know anything about it, right?

I'm taking about you and your

goose steppers trashing our house.

- You mean like you trashed my bike?

- I didn't exactly trash your bike.

- Then you admit it.

- This is getting good.

- Shut up, Veronica.

You know, Skip, I'm really shocked

because I never thought that you were a vandal.

- Well, we've both learned a little

more about each other this morning.

Haven't we?

Erin and Heilman?

I gotta get her back.

- Hey, Skipper, track down Wes?

- Forget Wes Jeremy was with Erin all night.

- Erin and Jeremy together?

Oh, man, that's grim.

- I'm gonna get her back, Mook.

Don't worry, I'm gonna get her back.

- I know you will, man.

But first we gotta get back at the

Gammas for trashing our frat.

- You know what, I'm not so sure they did it.

I mean, who led them?

It wasn't Blane and it wasn't Heilman.

That scumbag.

- Did we do that?

- I don't remember doing that.

Man, that's major vandalism.

- You know, it's funny.

I was just thinking the same thing.

- Officer Barcus.

- What a surprise.

- Prank week.

- Prank week.

- Pancake?

- Ow! - Putz!

- Let's check this thing out.

Runs on electricity.

Shocking.

- Guys, guys, I'm hip.

I know there's nothing funnier

than chucking bathroom tissue up a tree.

- Excuse me.

- You know, tossing T.P. in a tree.

Bombing with the butt-wipe bouquet.

- Oh, I get it.

Barcus, that's hilarious.

T.P. in a tree.

We gotta remember that one, Mook, wow.

- Don't push me, boys.

Or I'll get ugly.

- I didn't push him, you push him?

- I didn't push him.

In fact, I didn't even touch him.

I looked at him hard.

- Appear before me, Yargon Ghoulie.

Appear before thy dark master.

- Sheep! - Where are we?

Oh, this guy again.

Who do you think you are, huh?

- I'm Ragnar. - Rag-ass?

- Professor Ragnar. - What a twerp.

- You're really starting to get on our nerves.

- Yeah. - Yeah, let's get him.

- Just as I thought.

Yes, my little friends, you and the book are one.

I can destroy you so easily.

You see, I've been reading up on you.

- He'll roast our little chestnuts.

- Let's get one thing straight.

I am the master.

And you will do as I say.

- Jeez, what a ball buster.

- I see that you've visited fraternity row.

You little monsters must have felt right at home there.

- Party, drink, drink, drink.

Beta Zeta Theta.

- Maybe you'd like to go back there.

- Beer!

- Maybe I will send you back.

- Excellent. - Yeah.

- And you will bring me the pranking crown.

- Bogus. - Enough!

Those are the orders.

I will start a war to end all frat wars.

I will start a war to end all frats.

- What a foul-smelling bag of puke.

- Begone.

- Prank crown, ahoy.

- What a coincidence.

Get it.

- I know, I know.

Always me, always me, always me.

Work, work, work.

Let's see, a nine-iron will do, I think.

- Par four.

- Poker anyone?

- Erin's going to study.

- See you later, Erin.

- Officer Barcus. - Miss Erin.

- What brings you here?

- In a word, your panties.

- Uh, sorry, they're being used.

- No, not your panties singular your panties plural.

I'm here to warn you about the

inevitable panty raid tonight.

- Oh, right.

- Look, if you want to foil the frats,

you can lock your windows,

you can close the doors.

Chances are, those guys are gonna come in anyway.

But if you and the gals were to give me your panties,

then I could take them home and keep them real safe,

and I'd give them back to you on Monday or Tuesday.

I'd have them back by Friday.

I swear to that.

- Isn't that your little car's horn?

- It is, that's Bonnie I gotta go.

Ah!

I'll keep an eye out on you, probably this one.

Bonnie!

Bonnie, come back!

- Boss, boss, your driving's making him sick.

- I think I'm gonna be sick.

I shouldn't have had those chili fries.

- Told ya!

- I need to find a bathroom bad.

- It was the chili fries.

- Guys, guys, I'm really gonna be sick.

I'm wrong, it's here.

Oh, no, sorry it's this way.

Oops, my mistake.

Where is that john?

Now I remember.

It's this way!

- Oh, gonna be sick.

- Something's wrong with the wheel.

- Gross me out.

- Hey, Jeremy, look what I found.

- Where did you find that?

- In some bushes by BZT

- Looks like she has a couple of holes in her.

- I'll say she does.

What do you say we blow her up and try them out?

- Holy shit!

The crown!

- Beta Zeta Theta.

Those scum-sucking pigs.

- I think it's time we nailed Skippy Carter.

You still got your key to the chem lab?

- Yeah.

- Coffee?

- Tea.

- Sugar?

- Honey.

- Sweetie.

- Cute. - Cuddly.

- Skip, if you have something to say, say it

because I'm done playing password.

- Erin.

I'm sorry about us.

I'm a dope.

We had something good.

We had something special,

and I was just too busy or selfish

or busy being selfish to know it.

- So what do you propose that we do?

- Well.

Maybe we could start over?

- What's gonna be different?

- Me, I swear.

I'm a new man.

Hi, Skip Carter.

- Erin Riddle.

- You wanna go out?

- Sure.

- When? - Anytime.

- I'm sorry, anytime is really bad for me.

Tomorrow at 8:00?

- Eight o'clock will be fine.

See you then, Erin Riddle.

- Quentin.

Mercy.

- Say, is that a pranking crown in your lap?

- Or you just happy to see us?

- Ah, the pranking crown.

Excellent, my friends.

Now, I'd like you to kill me.

- What?

- Come on, come on, come on.

I'm quite serious.

- This guy's crazy. - Tear me to shreds.

- What? - Rip me to pieces.

Whale on my butt, come on now.

- Can we, boss? - Oh, I know.

You're spineless scum, just like those infernal frat types.

Come on, you stupid little gits!

- You're history, professor.

- Can't hurt me, even if you'd like to.

Not while I control the book,

and I control the book.

And I know, even if you were to attack me,

it would mean the death of you'

and I would absorb your flesh

and the power that goes with it.

- Is that right?

- I knew there was a catch.

- You're full of dingle berries.

- Oh, you think so, do you?

- Don't do that.

- Hey, that hurt. - Cut it with the pain.

- Oh, please.

- So, now, I can't very well get at the comic, can I?

- That's true.

- So, go on, attack.

- I ought to. - Come on.

Come on I know you love to destroy, so, kill.

- Quentin, are you in there?

Quentin.

I found the "Ghoulish Tales" you requested.

You know, it's a literal translation of a medieval text.

These are ancient spells, Quentin,

in an underground comic book.

See, they never did get around to publishing it.

There was this big fire, and...

Excuse me, Quentin.

You seem a little distracted.

- No, I must ask you to leave at once.

- Why? - You can't stay.

- Oh, dear, do you have a cat in here?

- Gesundheit. - Thank you so much.

- You're welcome.

Is she famous?

- Yeah.

- She was on "Newhart."

- Stop screaming, Miss Boggs.

Hold your tongue.

- Allow me.

- Stretch it, stretch it!

Reel her in.

- Cat's got your tongue.

- Let go. - More tongue than a deli.

- Was that amusing?

- Uh-huh. - Was it fun?

If you love destruction so much, go do some good.

Her friends the Greeks await.

- Okay, it looks clear, come on.

Come on, come on.

Shh, shh, shh.

Come on.

- Tonight's the night, girls.

Panty raid!

Are we gonna let those morons

fly our best undies up the flagpole this year?

- All right, give this your leg.

Come on, get up.

Here give me your arms quick.

- Okay, one, two.

- Veronikins, tonight's the panty raid.

- Big wow, Buffykins.

I have a date.

- Okay, girls, get ready.

I'm sure there's a whole herd of horny men hiding outside!

Night out, talk tough

Hey, boy, you want to look

Boy saying right now

Come on, baby

I'll show you how

You're gonna get it like you never had it

Sometimes you gotta reach out and grab it

Some like it hot

Some like to dance

And nothing here to stop

A modern romance

Phone rings three times

- Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Knock, knock, at my door

- Just watching out. He says baby

I need more

When'd I ever say

I told you so

- He couldn't keep it up.

Some like it hot

Some like to dance

But nothing hits the spot

- Take it off, baby.

Dancing cheek to cheek.

- Yum, yum, yum. - Shake it, baby.

Oh, my.

Mm.

I'm hungry again.

- Oh, hubba, hubba, hubba.

- Eureka.

That's illegal in most states.

- Can someone give me a burger

and fries with that shake?

- Purple's my favorite color.

- It's a bikini bonanza.

- Yank away, guys.

Some like it hot

Some like to dance

But nothing hits the spot

Like a modern romance - They're off!

- All right, come on.

- Come on, come on.

Me first.

- Charge!

- Come on get him!

- Everybody out, come on, let's go, let's go!

- Panty raid!

Some like it hot - Panty raid!

Some like to dance

But nothing hits the spot

Like a modern romance

Some like it hot

Some like to dance

Nothing hits the spot

Like a modern romance

- Let go!

Boys, I think we're gonna have to numb these.

- Num-num-num-num-num-num.

- Oh, nice berries.

- I'm sporting half a chubby.

- Oh, nicer derriere.

- Wash your mouth out with soap.

- Uh-oh.

Okay, boys, easy.

Hey, who cut the cheese?

Oh, trust me, guys this is gonna work.

Hey, shut up down there.

This is important.

This'll work great I seen it in a movie.

You two, cut it out right now.

Shh, keep it down.

Shut up, shut up!

- Oh, honey, I'm home.

- Ready?

Hi, wanna suck face?

- Ooh, bikini cut. - Wow, and tan.

- Yeah.

- Hey, Carter.

- Carter! - Hey, Officer Barcus.

Whoa, what happened?

Bonnie's a beater.

- You want a war, Carter, you deal with me not Bonnie.

Tooth and nail, mano a mano to the death.

Have you got me, mister!

- Barcus, what are you saying?

- Bonnie and the scooter you wrecked them.

- I'm a rectum!

Hey, do I go around making false accusations?

Barcus, I don't have time for this.

I'm late!

- I've got my eye on you, Carter!

Whoa.

- Erin.

Erin.

Hi, Skip Carter.

We met last night.

Don't you remember we have a date?

- Had a date. - What?

- The date I made last night was with a guy

who swore he gave up yanking,

a guy who claimed that I was far more important

than some goofy tin crown with a prop on top.

- And you are.

So what are you saying?

- Come on, Skip, you knew there was gonna be a panty raid.

You knew they were gonna hit us.

- I wasn't there.

I was studying all night.

- Come on, Skip. - I was.

I was studying for Ragnar's class.

I wanna do good, get an A, be his bud.

- Well, you know what, even if you weren't there,

you didn't try to stop them.

And you didn't bother to warn me,

and now my entire wardrobe is absolutely completely ruined.

- Hey!

What happened at Pi Nu last night?

Did you hit Erin's room?

- No.

- Did you hit any rooms?

- No.

- You score any panties?

- No. - No.

Just what the hell happened?

- Pi Nu, Pi Nu, Pi Nu!

Pi Nu, Pi Nu, Pi Nu!

- You'll find them on the flagpole, boys.

- Pi Nu, Pi Nu, Pi Nu!

Pi Nu, Pi Nu, Pi Nu!

Pi Nu, Pi Nu, Pi Nu!

- There was a lot of them,

and they had huge stuffed pillows.

- Feathers. - They swarmed like locusts.

- Evil and power.

You cannot be powerful without evil.

Isn't that a beautiful thought, class.

Hmm? - Professor.

I think goodness can prevail

no matter how powerful the evil.

- You are wrong.

You see'

power corrupts,

and this college was foolish enough

to give the Greeks power.

And they in turn started a prank war,

and those pranks are evil and destructive.

In fact, I am only one prank away

from recommending to the regents

that certain people and fraternities be expelled.

- Professor, come on that's not fair.

Not all the BZTs pull pranks.

Sure, I've pulled a few in my time'

but those days are over now.

- Come now, Mr. Carter.

You expect me to believe--

- Believe it, professor.

I, Skip Carter, am through pulling yanks now and forever.

- It's a wire.

- Shit.

- Where?

- Get out.

- Wait a second-- - Leave!

Take your books.

Don't come back!

Professor, come on you don't think that I had anything.

- You, correction you don't think.

Get out!

Kiss Granger College goodbye.

- This is bullshit.

Somebody's been setting me up all week.

I didn't destroy your desk,

and I didn't trash your bike.

I didn't trash Barcus, cart.

Oh, yeah.

And one more thing.

I didn't raid your panties.

There's somebody else in this picture.

Somebody with some answers.

- Yeah, like who kidnapped our buddy Wes?

- Right. - And who stole

the pranking crown?

- We didn't steal no crown.

- Yeah, we didn't kidnap Wes.

- The hell you didn't!

- The hell you didn't.

- See, there's some weird shit going down here,

and it's not the Gammas and it's not the BZTs.

- You will leave now,

or Officer Barcus will escort you off the campus.

- Oh, I'm going, Ragnar.

But I'm not giving up.

You mark my word.

I'm gonna find the comic who's behind this,

because nobody, nobody is gonna deny me my future.

You got it?

Beta Zeta

No house greater

- Stop, I'm warning you! A house united

The others quest abides - Enough, stop it!

- All right, go, go! We are the greatest

You're all out all of you!

You're out!

Keep going!

All of you out of here, out of here!

- Ahem, the ghoulie guru contemplates his internal self.

In with the good air and out with the bad.

- Pootie!

- I think we should go now.

- 36, 24, 36. hut, hut, hut!

- Guys.

What were you thinking?

- We did it for you, Skipper.

- Guys, really, I appreciate it.

But come tomorrow there's no more Beta Zeta Theta'

and that means whoever was out to get us has won.

- Oh, come on, Skip.

You know those Gamma dorks were framing us,

and since we're on the verge of expulsion

and immune from any further punishment, it's payback time.

- Mookey, come on.

Squirt guns?

- Oh, come on, man, it's filled with goofy glue.

Here.

- Mookey, did you or did you not hear

what I said in Ragnar's class?

- Yeah, your "I'm Through With Yanking" speech.

Classic!

- I'll say wat a setup.

- Yeah, as soon as you're done telling

him you're through yanking,

bam, you waste his desk.

- Man, you're the best, you're the prince,

and that's why we're gonna get back our crown.

- Mookey, forget the crown.

I didn't do Ragnar's desk.

In fact, I haven't pulled a yank in days.

We just threw away four years of college

and the rest of our lives trying

to regain a goddamn tinfoil crown.

- Whew, wait a second.

This is all about Erin, isn't it?

- Chill it, Mook. - Gentlemen.

Skip Carter, president of BZT,

gets booted off of campus.

His house gets booted off of campus,

and he won't retaliate

because it won't score him points with his woman.

- Shut up, Mookey! - A woman who right now

is over at the enemy camp taking a roll in the hay

with Jeremy Hitler youth Heilman.

- I said shut up, man! - Cool it!

I used to think that you were so cool.

- Mookey, I'm sorry.

Look. - Me, too.

- Mookey!

Look, guys.

What else can go wrong today?

- Kill him.

Kill Skip Carter.

Kill Skip Carter.

- Skip Carter.

Kill Skip Carter.

- He is a danger.

- He is a danger.

- Are you mimicking me?

- Are you mimicking me?

- The ghoulies have no dicks.

- Ragnar has no dick.

- Silence, go kill him now!

- Clap it, slap it, and wrap it!

Blane is a chemical genius.

It was a beautiful thing.

Perfectly executed.

- One minute there was a desk,

and a Skip, and a BZT house.

- And the next minute poof they were all gone.

- You know, Jeremy, you're twice as ugly

when you're two-faced.

What are you crying about?

That's the first below-the-waist

stimulation you've had in weeks.

- That's not what you told us, Romeo.

- Shut the hell up!

- Are you all right?

- That Carter turd has still got a hold on her.

- Maybe I can cook up something new in the lab, you know.

Maybe like a stink bomb for his room or something.

- But make it a big one.

- Hey, for you, Jeremy, anything.

- Okay, that's a start.

But it's not good enough.

Tonight, fellas, Skip Carter is going down!

- Dumb-ass.

- Dumb-ass?

- Erin.

What, not out stuffing envelopes for the Hitler youth today?

- No, that's tomorrow.

Today we're out skinning bunny rabbits for mittens.

- Hmm.

Hard to catch those little beggars, isn't it?

- Not as hard as it is to tell you

what an absolute idiot I've been.

Skip, I'm really sorry,

and I feel awful.

- You feel pretty good to me.

Goofy glue.

- Goofy guy.

- Shut up.

- Kiss me.

- Okay, guys, come on.

- Where do we go, boss?

- This is where Skip Carter's supposed to be.

- Yeah, let's look for Skip.

- He's around this corner. - And some sandwiches.

- Come on, fat ass, follow along.

- Shut up.

Ow, sorry, boss.

- Ow, my head.

Always my head.

- You guys stay down there.

Get over to the trash can.

- I want to help, boss. - There's a chair.

- Shut up!

Spread out, you idiots.

- Shut up and spread out.

- I bet Jeremy doesn't have one of these.

- No, he doesn't.

You know, nothing happened' though, that night with him.

I couldn't, I was still thinking of you.

- That dick.

Imagine him accusing me of kyping the pranking crown.

- Forget the crown what about Ragnar's desk?

- What about it?

- Well, Blane and Jeremy rigged it.

I overheard them in the hall outside after class.

- Those assholes.

Hey, hey, wait a minute.

I gotta tell Ragnar.

That's my ticket back to school.

Yeah, right.

Like Ragnar is really gonna believe me.

- Yeah, but he'll believe me.

I'll go with you.

- Ooh, here he come shut up, shut up!

- Quiet guys. - Keep it down.

- Okay, okay. - Shut up!

- Get over here! - Stop.

- Shut up!

- Skippy.

Skip Carter.

- Skip Carter?

Breakfast is served!

Man down!

All right.

What a nice bomb.

- Bomb, nice bomb!

- Yeah, mm-mm-mm.

Oh, it's a bomb.

A bomb!

- Dr. Ragnar?

He's not here.

- Maybe you could leave him a note.

- Maybe we could come back later in broad daylight tomorrow.

- Good idea, except tomorrow's too late.

Come on.

- Yeah, but, God, Skip, this place-

- Gives you the willies.

Yeah, me, too.

God, Heckle and Jeckle.

I love those guys, come on.

- Oh, Skip.

Do you smell that?

- Yeah, it's either really old socks or really good brie.

- No, that smells more like the day my mom

found Whiskers dead in the dryer.

- Let's just go. - No, wait.

Wait a minute.

- My God, it's Miss Boggs!

- Jesus, the pranking crown!

- Oh, she's dead, Skip.

She is dead.

She must have been strangled

with that thing around her head.

- Yeah, with.

- Her tongue!

- We've gotta call 911!

- He's got a tongue-tied stiff in his office'

and I'm getting expelled?

- Well, well look at the love turds.

- This is not the time, Jeremy.

- You jerks, there's been a murder.

- Oh, that's past tense, Erin.

Try future.

Pin him.

- Jeremy, stop it!

- You're a real hard-ass when you're around

your steroid-fed butt buddies, aren't you, Heilman?

- Yes, Skippy, I am.

Do him.

- Stop it!

- I don't like you much, Carter.

- Erin, get help!

Get help!

- No, no, let her go, let her go.

You don't wanna miss all the fun.

- What city, please?

- Look, there's been a murder.

There's been a murder here.

- This is 411.

We don't do murders.

Next time, try 911.

Thank you, have a nice day.

- Can't, please, please, please.

- 911, what is your emergency?

- Look, there's been a murder on campus.

Your location, please.

- Sorry, operator.

Prank week.

Someone say murder?

- You've been a bad boy, Skippy.

So destructive.

- Heilman, you dick.

I knew you liked to blow things, but Ragnar's desk?

- Damn clever, wasn't it?

Perfect frame-up.

But having you and your BZT zits

booted from school wasn't enough.

We got bigger plans for you, Carter.

Plans that are bound to land your ass in jail.

- Great, then I can bunk with your mom.

There's going to be a minor explosion

tonight in the administration building,

and when Barcus and the cops show up,

they are going to discover the just-booted

and still bitter prankster Skip Carter

lying unconscious with a handful of TNT.

- I didn't see anything.

- Hardly a convincing performance.

Come now, Erin, talk to Quentin.

- Stop her.

- Check me out.

Read any good books lately?

- Ah, uh-uh-uh.

It's a library.

- Hey, that's Erin!

Pulling the oldest trick in the book.

Jeez, everybody's a yanker these days.

- It's no joke, she's in trouble, you dick.

Calm down.

The bitch ain't worth it.

- What?

- Can we start the torture now, boss?

Huh, can we, huh, huh, huh, can we, huh?

Oh, I want to torture her bad.

- Torture, torture, torture.

- Don't you fancy my ghoulish friends?

They've been very helpful to me in my war against the frats.

I can call them off very easily.

All you need to do is tell me

who else knows about the murder?

- Spill the beans, baby.

She's a screamer.

- Erin, you know, we could be friends.

Good friends, if you just cooperate.

- You're out of your mind!

- But if you don't.

- Oh, yeah, give it to her.

You'll get my stamp of approval.

Here and here and here.

- Good work.

- Holy shit!

- Skip!

- No, oh, no, my dear, Skip can't help you.

Skip is quite dead.

My little friends just took care of him.

- What's that?

- What?

- What the hell's going on here?

- Carter.

- Carter, Skip Carter. - He's supposed to be dead.

Kill Skip Carter say it.

- Get him, boys. - Skip, help me!

- Fascinating creatures, aren't they?

They obey my every command.

- My head.

To think that from a little comic book,

I could gain such control.

Your hero can't save you now.

- Skip!

- Eat glue, you puds!

Oh, my eyes!

I can't see a thing, boss! - In my ear.

They got it in my ear.

- Carter, my creatures!

Stop it!

Stop it!

Leave them alone!

Leave them alone, you pud!

You are finished thanks to pranks!

- Skip, help me, help me!

Shit!

Come on, boys.

- I'll get your feet, come on!

- Slowly I turned.

- Cheeseball. - You're mine.

- Come on, boys, let's--

- The comic.

Skip, the comic controls them.

- No!

Oh, no, not the comic.

No, not the book.

- Get Ragnar.

- Ragnar? - Okay.

- Ragnar!

- No, what are you doing?

You don't know what you're doing.

I'll consume your powers!

Stop it!

- He's not bad eating.

It's coming.

- Carter.

- Get the hell out of my house.

- You dick.

You tried to deck me.

- You dick, I did deck you.

- I'm gonna call the cops, Jeremy.

- Better make it the paramedics.

- I am the power!

You cannot escape.

We'll kill you all.

All of you just like we killed that punk Wesley,

that slimy hussy Veronica,

and that sniveling toady, Blane.

- What the hell is that thing?

- That is our humanities teacher.

- Oh, my God. - Look out.

No, no, no, no!

- You cannot escape the force you created.

Submit to the power I have become.

Give me the sacred book.

- Get back!

- The book cannot harm me.

I am the book.

The book is mine.

I am the power!

- I am staying in college.

You are gone!

- Help.

- Wes.

I don't believe it.

Poor Wes. - And Veronica.

At least they're together.

- Poor Wes.

- Carter.

Me and Bonnie met with a little bomb.

But you probably wouldn't know anything

about that, would you?

- As a matter of fact, Officer, I would.

Here's your man.

Here's his dynamite.

- Heilman, did you do that to Bonnie with explosives?

- No, no, monster.

Big monster.

- You are out of here!

History.

Gone.

G-A-W-N.

Little shit.

Bonnie.

No house is greater

Beta Zeta Theta no house greater

Beta Zeta Theta no house greater

- Hey, hey, hey!

What's Barcus doing with Jeremy?

- Must be love.

- Hey, Skipper, we did it.

We won the pranking crown back.

The judges voted and BZT won the crown.

Hey, there it is.

Where'd you get it?

- Guys, you'd never believe me.

Mook man.

- Skip man.

Mission accomplished.

The crown is ours you did it!

- Couldn't have done it without you, pal.

- Aw, shucks.

Put it on, Chief.

I mean, you are the Prince of Pranks, right?

- Skipper, Skipper, Skipper,

Skipper, Skipper, Skipper,

Skipper, Skipper, Skipper,

Skipper, Skipper, Skipper,

Skipper, Skipper, Skipper!

Let have some fun

You can see the lights

- Hey, let's party! It's coming near you

It's gonna be there tonight

It's a first-class blowout

One that won't come again

I haven't seen things this crazy

Since I don't know when

Whoa, ooh, whoa, ooh

There's gonna be a reason to shout

Whoa, ooh, whoa, ooh

You're either in or you're out

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

All night long

Over in the kitchen

There's tons of barbecue

The line is forming to the left

There's one that you gotta go through

Dancing's all on the ground floor

Romance is on the top

It's gonna be the best you'll ever see

And it's never gonna stop

Whoa, ooh, whoa, ooh

You're having the best time you ever had

Whoa, ooh, whoa, ooh

Sometimes you gotta go mad

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

All night long

Whoa, ooh, whoa, ooh

There's gonna be a reason to shout

Whoa, ooh, whoa, ooh

You're either in or you're out

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

All night long

The cops tried to shut us down

But we bought them all a drink

Now they're partying down with us

Bobbing for French fries in the sink

I danced with a zombie in a low-cut dress

And I just about lost control

My head's in the clouds

My hair is a mess

But it's only rock and roll

Whoa, ooh, whoa, ooh

You said you had to toe the line

Whoa, ooh, whoa, ooh

It's 4:00 a.m. and I'm feeling fine

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

All night long

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

Party going on

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

There's a party going on

Party going on