All language subtitles for Dirty.BLONDES.FROM.BEYOND.2012 [VO][ZFOS]

Them! Please tell me you bring good
news.

The flagship of the Volvian Empire is in
orbit, Your Highness, and has been met

by our fleet.

I have been told that Empress Cruella is
on board and is currently being

shuttled to the surface.

She should be at our palace within the
hour.

Oh, thank the blessed haggis.

Once we have signed the treaty with
Cruella, we will finally gain access to

their technology and be able to stop
these terrible storms which are nearly

destroying our planet.

What do you know about this Empress
Cruella? Can she be trusted?

Well, she controls the vast empire and,
like, part of the galaxy.

That is enough.

Yes, but how does she control it? I
mean, surely you've heard the rumors of

sexual appetite.

I have heard. They say she has body like
Vandarian's snarf herder.

Hmm, and knows how to use it.

It is intriguing.

I've even heard rumors of her finding
creatures in faraway galaxies that do

look like us.

What do you mean, not like us?

It's been said that she's found species
that resemble us in some form, but have

no breath.

And a third leg between the other two.

Really? For what use would be such a
leg?

Enough of this, my lady. I do not trust
the Volvians.

I find it very disturbing that they
contact us about new technology.

So soon, after this planetary shift that
has caused these devastating storms.

You are too suspicious, Vemma. Which
suits your position, I suppose.

And you are far too trusting, my lady. I
mean, if I weren't here to protect

you... But you are, and always will be.

Thank you, my lady. Thank you, my love.

them.

Oh my goodness.

Bye.

We will go to the chamber of Prince
Farah.

Send orders up to the fleet. Come and
see it back.

Let the invasion begin.

As you wish.

Yes? Lieutenant Bella, this is Captain
Sandberg of the Space Fleet. We are

attack. What? Oh, no.

Who is it? Is the delegation of the
Volvian Empire safe?

The Volvian Empire? Other ones
attacking.

I knew they couldn't be trusted.

What are we to do?

I must get you to safety immediately,
Your Highness.

But my people. You'll do them no good,
Dad.

But, Farah, please, we must flee.

Captain, hold them off as long as
possible. I'm taking the princess aboard

Royal Fighter for safety. Good luck,
Captain.

Come on, Your Highness.

Be prepared for the worst, Your
Highness. I'm not sure we'll make it

blockade if Volvian ships.

The Volvians always work for the
impregnable.

Do your best.

I see it. Hold on.

Well done, then.

We're not out of the woods yet. We made
it to the fleet.

Now we've got a straggler after us.

Look over there.

Perfect.

things to put an eye out, you know.

I'm doing my best.

Oh, you did it.

Don't celebrate quite so fast.

What is it? I mean, there's no place to
go in this quadrant to hide from the

reach of Empress Cruella.

You're not joking.

I am. We have to use the hyperdrive to
get out of this quadrant and away from

Cruella. That takes us into an
unexplored region of space. Virgin

On the upside, Cruella hasn't explored
it either.

From what I've heard, the only thing in
this university he hasn't explored.

It's your decision, Your Highness.

Do it.

that she would be here. She couldn't
have escaped.

I must have her, Therese. The moment I
saw Princess Thar's beauty, I knew that

must have her.

I will have her!

Yes, Empress.

I thought that there exists a creature
like this in the universe that I haven't

seen.

Surely there are others just as
beautiful.

Nonsense! All others pale in comparison.

All others?

Find her, damn you!

Commander Thar, Sebovian fleet.

Status report.

Prepare my ship. We are going to go
after the princess.

Oh, no.

What is it? Be prepared.

What's wrong?

It's the fromits.

It's never been designed to be used at
maximum speed for so long before.

Is it bad?

Not good.

We dropped out of warp.

The engines, they're failing.

What can we do?

There's a planet nearby.

We're going to try to land.

I'll get you running again. I'm going to
have to take you straight to the

junkyard. This is the fifth time this
month you have broke down on me.

What the heck?

What the hell is that?

I better call this in.

I want to talk to the county sheriff.

I want to report a... Well, I don't know
what I saw.

Are you uninjured, my lady?

Yes, I'm fine.

But what about the sheep?

The damages seem to be somewhat minor.

If we can find a replacement from it...
He'll be able to fly again.

This looks like such a primitive planet.
Do you think we will be able to find

from it here?

I'm not sure.

I did detect population here on my
instruments.

But... But what?

You must be strong, Your Highness.

Before my instruments went out, I also
detected a Volvian craft in pursuit.

Oh, no.

We must be vigilant.

Come. We must find civilization as soon
as possible.

This way.

I don't really care if you believe me or
not.

I don't expect you to take my word for
it, okay?

The proof is out there if you were just
intelligent enough to see it.

No, I don't work at the university at
the moment.

Yes, but that's just because they were
so short -sighted.

Extreme is the word they used to
describe some of my theories.

Look... I'm close to finding conclusive
proof that'll show those eggheads over

at the university that what I've been
saying all along is the truth.

What the... Look, Mom, I'm gonna have to
call you back.

This is it. An actual UFO.

This is my chance to prove that I've
been right all along.

Are you the gentleman that called?

Yes, sir.

My name is Mark Grabowski. I'm Agent
Smith. This is Agent Jones.

Well, I sure am pleased to meet you.

Just tell us what you saw, Mr.

Grabowski. Well, you can call me Mark if
you want to.

Why, standing over there, see?

I was trying to get old Bessie started.
Usually she's real reliable, but, you

know, she's getting kind of old. And,
you know, you get a little old, you get

cranky, and you get stubborn. So I stick
my key in her, and she's going, Whoa,

whoa, whoa, please, sir. Just tell us
what you saw.

Oh, I'm sorry, Agent Smith.

I'm Jones. She's Smith.

Oh, well, I thought you said you...
Well, anyway, I was standing over here,

and I hear this noise.

Like a... It's right overhead.

And I look over, and I seen a spaceship
coming right over them trees,

landed in them hills over yonder.

A spaceship?

Yes, ma 'am.

Can you tell us what it looked like?

Was it shaped like a cigar with
pulsating lights?

Oh, no, I can't say it was.

It was more like a...

You know, kind of like a circle, like a
cylinder.

In fact, truth be told, it looked kind
of like one of my old moonshine stills.

Uh -huh.

Excuse us a moment, would you, sir?

Well, certainly, Agent Smith.

I'm Joe.

He's Smith.

This is ridiculous.

The guy's obviously some backwoods lush
who had a few too many and thought he

saw something.

I'm not so sure. This one might actually
have merit. You heard the way he

described the ship.

Yeah, like his dough.

Come on, you can still smell the alcohol
on his breath.

I think it's worth checking out. What's
the harm in taking a little hike up into

those hills?

See if there's anything there. If not,
we chalk it up to just another

sighting. In any case, it gets me into
the woods alone with you.

Enough. If you want to go check out the
Strunk's claim, then fine.

But let me tell you something, Smitty.

Once you get me up into those hills
alone, you'd better keep it in your

I've told you no a thousand times, and I
don't want to have to tell you again.

It's not ever going to happen.

Okay, okay.

You keep playing this hard -to -get act,
I'm going to start thinking you're not

interested.

Are you two going to go up there and
investigate that?

You want me to go with you?

That's not necessary, sir.

I suggest that you get out of the area.
We'll contact you if we need anything

further. All right, then, agent.

Agent.

I'll just... I'll wait here.

Much farther, ma 'am.

I haven't had to walk this far since the
plumbing went out upstairs and I had to

go downstairs for a shower.

Not much further, your highness.

In fact, there it is.

The first signs of civilization.

It isn't much to look at, is it?

If this is the best they have to offer,
we are surely doomed.

Fear nothing, my lady.

You are safe in my keep.

Thank you, ma 'am.

Hold it right there.

By the sons of Vifrexia, what manner of
creature is this?

I'm not certain, Your Highness.

It appears to be bipedal.

It has two eyes, a nose, and a mouth.

Well, he's like some malformed version
of a human.

Could this be one of the creatures
Crowley discovered?

The one with the third leg.

I see no third leg.

Although, it does not have breath.

Very odd.

Yet, there is something intriguing about
it.

Oh, your highness.

Please tell me you're not serious.

Let's take it inside.

Very well.

Ma 'am, look.

Is this a promise?

I'm afraid not.

It has the same shape, but no movable
parts.

Perhaps this creature can help us.

I doubt that.

It doesn't look very intelligent, does
it? We should try.

Unfreeze him. Your Highness.

Unfreeze him now.

Yes, ma 'am.

What the hell is it?

Who the hell are you?

Who the hell are you?

You are addressing Her Royal Highness
Princess Farah from Bifraxia, and you

show respect.

La -di -da.

Sorry I don't know nothing about that
respect stuff, but I don't take too

to trespassers.

You just stay right where you are.

Hey, wait a minute.

You guys are from another planet.

Indeed. What sort of creature are you?

You are quite different from us.

Well, I'm a man.

A man?

Yeah, a man.

Don't you guys have men where you come
from?

We most certainly do not.

I don't know what you're missing.

I can't imagine you would possibly have
anything I could want. I wouldn't be so

sure. Vema, I want you to do a search of
the perimeter.

Your Highness, you heard me.

You said yourself that the Volvian ships
were following us? Who knows how long

before Volvian troopers could be
surrounding us?

Best to check it out.

But I can't possibly leave you with
this... this creature.

I'll be fine.

Yes, you'll be fine.

Very well.

Don't you dare lay a hand on her royal
head.

We've heard rumors on our planet of
creatures such as yourself.

However, we were told you were possessed
of a third leg.

I see no evidence of that.

Well, darling, you just gotta give me a
chance.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Empress Crella.

Why are we stopped?

Speak! We have been tracking Farah's
ship, and the signal has come to rest on

the planet below.

Excellent.

Now we have her.

You will transport yourself down to the
planet immediately, and you will bring

the princess back to me.

As you wish.

Oh, and Commander, you will bring her
back to me, unharmed.

Of course.

soon, Farrah. You will be mine!

Oh, my God. I knew it. I knew it.

I have arrived at the crash site.

And it's definitely an alien craft of
some kind.

There appears to be radiation.

Some kind I don't recognize. Something
alien.

It doesn't appear to be harmful.

There's something going on. I feel...

and not just from this discovery, but
almost a sexual excitement.

Amazing.

You! Barbarian!

Where is the princess?

Who?

Don't play stupid with me. I recognize
your kind.

You of the third leg.

Third. What have you done with the
princess?

Um... Look, I can tell you what you want
to know, but then I'm going to want

something in return.

What could you possibly want? I kind of
want to show you that third leg you're

so curious about.

Fine, but no tricks.

Stay with it!

Yeah. Yeah.

Very well, Earthling. I have given you
what you desired. Now tell me, where is

the princess?

Um, well... You do know, don't you?

Yeah, of course I do, but I'm going to
have to show you. If this is some sort

trick.

No, no trick.

I need to use this to show you where
she's at.

Lead the way.

Which way?

Um... This way. This way.

So is this metal or is it fabric?

Your Highness,

there is nothing out there.

I don't know about this.

Vemma, when we get the moment, I'll tell
you all about this third leg.

Your Highness!

We need to focus here.

There is nothing out there but
wilderness as far as the eye can see.

Well, yeah, I could have told you that.
Ain't nothing out here. That's why I

moved all the way out here, to get away
from everything.

Well, that's fine, but we need to find a
replacement from it.

What the hell's from it?

It's part of our ship's engines.

You can't go find nothing like that
around here.

Where should we look?

Uh, well... Neartown's 40 miles away,
and we're right over here.

Perhaps we could find some there.

I guess anything's possible.

I don't know. We're going to have to be
very careful we're not discovered by

Cruella's troops.

Are you sure they're really here?

We have to presume so.

Cruella?

Oh, them. The sheep.

Did you activate the clocking device?

Thank you for being a fool!

This should be the place.

I don't really see any crashed
spaceships. Do you?

There's something going on here.

Mitty, when are you going to accept the
fact that this was just the ravings of a

drunk? I'm getting a radiation reading.

That's not like any reading I've ever
seen.

Jonesy, you do something for me.

Enough. You're not getting away with the
radiation is making me horny trick

again. It didn't work last time, and it
won't work now.

It's just that you'd do something for
me.

Anything in a skirt would do something
for you.

Now, can we get out of here?

Doesn't this radiation mean anything to
you?

Yeah. It means with luck, you won't be
procreating anytime soon. Let's go.

Wait.

Let's at least swing by that cabin we
saw on the way up here.

See if they saw anything.

After that, can we wrap this up and call
it a day?

Absolutely.

Mm -hmm.

Okay. Let's go.

Great.

Where to next, tripod?

Uh, I don't know. These readings are
really difficult to decipher.

I'm starting to wonder if you know where
the princess is at all. If you don't, I

don't see any need to keep you alive.

I know where she is. Don't you worry,
okay? Just give me a minute, okay?

Yes, Empress.

Status report, Commander.

I grow weary of these delays.

One moment, Empress.

Wait, wait, wait!

Transporting up.

What is happening down there? Why do you
not yet have Princess Farah in your

custody? I'm working on it, Empress.

I have made contact with an earthling
who knows her location, and he's taking

there now. What is the delay?

The native population is of the three
-legged kind.

Really? Yes, and I think perhaps their
third leg takes the place of their

They're a very ignorant species.

Ah, yes, I remember.

Well, do the best you can. I must have
the princess.

Oh, don't be so jealous, Commander.

There's enough of me to go around.

Then perhaps until I can secure the
princess for you, I could serve as a

substitute.

Very well.

Serve as you command.

oh yeah oh oh

Fear not, earthling. I will not harm you
as long as you take me to the princess.

Yeah, I'll take you to her. I know where
she is.

Mm -hmm.

Yep.

You will take me to her immediately or I
will feed you to my pet halogonon.

I don't know what that is, but it sounds
really unpleasant.

So, um, yeah, we're really close.

You had better hope that we are.

Let's go.

Who's this?

I don't know.

Don't get too many visitors out this
way.

Ah, it's like government time.

Probably saw your face, shit.

Perhaps they can help us.

Once again, my highness, you are far too
trusting.

Vemma's right.

I don't know if Vemma's going to believe
your story, and even if they do, I'm

sure helping you is not going to be the
first thing that's on their mind.

What can we do?

There's no place to hide here. Do you
guys bring any clothes? Anything to fit

you in?

We can change into anything we wish.

How's this?

That'll do.

Just follow my lead.

Good afternoon.

I'm Agent Smith. This is Agent Jones.

Can we ask you guys a few questions?

Anything I need to stop you?

Hello, ladies.

Hello.

We're wondering if you've seen anything
unusual around here earlier this

morning. Unusual? This morning? Nope,
nothing.

And what about you, ladies?

We've observed nothing out of the
ordinary.

Certainly haven't seen any spaceships,
if that's what you're talking about.

Farah! Spaceships, you say?

That's Farah, my sister.

She's a real getter. Is that so?

Yes, I do love a good kid.

Look, Agent Smith. I'm Jones.

She's Smith.

I told you I ain't seen nothing.

If you don't mind.

Actually, I do mind.

I'd like to talk to your sister alone.
And Agent Jones here, she'll talk to you

and... Vemma.

I thought you were Agent Jones. I'm
Smith.

She's Jones.

Young lady, come with me.

Me? I'm Jones.

Jones.

Farah. That's an interesting name.

You're not from around here, are you?

I am not.

You said something about a spaceship
earlier.

Oh, that was part of my kid. That joke
was talking about.

You mean kidding?

Yes. Kidding.

You're not fooling me, you know.

I'm not?

No. I was at the site where your ship
landed.

and there was this radiation, and it
affected me in a strange way.

And now that I'm standing here next to
you, I'm feeling the same thing.

I know that you're aliens from another
planet, and that your ship crash -landed

in these woods.

Why don't you just admit it?

Oh, very well.

Really? That was easy.

Could you please help us?

We are in desperate need of fromits to
repair our ship.

Fromits? I don't know what that is.

Better have you call it by a different
name.

It's... It has long shifts, a round
head, and balls on the other end.

Oh, yes.

I think I know what you're talking
about. I happen to have one of those

over there.

You do?

Yes. Let me show it to you.

Here it is.

It's this short leg.

It is nothing from it. But I'll take one
anyway.

Thank you.

Something is definitely going on here,
and I want to know what it is.

What do you mean?

Oh, don't play dumb with me.

My partner suspects that you're alien,
but I suspect something far more down to

earth, like a meth lab.

Oh, now ain't nothing going on around
here.

I am Vemma, and I am an alien.

Vemma? What's the game here?

No game.

Being deceitful is not in my nature.

I am Vemma, and I am from Planet
Bifrexia.

Sure you are.

And, uh, I'm Dolly Parton.

Yeah, you sure got the parts for it.

Shut up.

There is something weird.

Earlier today, my partner thought he was
feeling the effects of radiation at the

supposed landing site.

And now, I'm starting to feel the same
thing.

I wonder.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm feeling it, too.
It's radiation all around me. It's

me all crazy.

I can prove what I say is true.

This device allows the molecules in my
clothing to give me any appearance I

want. Uh -huh. Allow me to demonstrate.

Oh, my...

this thing. You really are an alien.

That's what I've been trying to tell
you.

And you're gorgeous.

Thank you.

Yeah.

And radiation and the effects of the
radiation is compounded between the two

you. I guess one really can't help
himself, can they? Certainly can't be

for radiation.

Are you suggesting what I think you're
suggesting?

Well, in the interest of my
investigation, it must be thorough.

Right.

And I want to cooperate.

And, Jock, Farrah never told me anything
about this third leg.

Well, uh, I can fix that.

What do you think that is?

I'm Jock. Whatever.

Oh, my God. Come on.

I got it. I got it. I've got so much
radiation on it. It's burning my

I would be, like, working on her body.

I'd be, like, sucking on her boobs or
something.

That would, like, relieve radiation
poisoning.

Oh, yeah.

That's what I do.

Yeah.

That's got to be helping.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God.

Them.

Don't worry, Your Highness.

I told them everything.

Everything?

Yes. We know that you're alien.

So, you believe me now?

Yes, Smitty. You were right and I was
wrong. Does that make you happy?

Actually, yes it does.

It made me happy.

All right, enough of this.

We must find a replacement from it so we
can repair our ship.

I'm sorry.

I don't think we have one of those on
Earth. I've never heard of it. Neither

have I.

Could we build one?

There they are. There's the aliens.

Hurry. Get the princess in safety.

Stand fast, them of Bifraxia. I will
have your princess, or I will have your

life.

Why are you doing this, Doris?

Bifraxia's always been a friend of the
Volvian Empire.

My empress wants your princess.

That is enough for me.

Do you believe me now? Do you believe me
now? Yes. Yes.

Do you really want to capture the
princess?

Once Cruella has her, she'll have no
more use for your pleasures.

You did it.

Well done.

Yes.

But look how sad she is now.

Better her sad than us dead.

I suppose you're right.

What do we do with her now?

What? Won't her bosses just send her
back?

Don't worry.

I altered her mind with this device.

She'll report back an entirely different
story.

Commander, where is the Princess?

Report. I'm afraid I bring bad news,
Empress.

Princess Farah and her royal guard are
dead.

Dead? Impossible.

How? The atmosphere on Earth is
poisonous to us. If I had stayed there

longer, I would be as dead as they are.

We can never return here.

Just when she was so close to my grasp.

I remain to serve you, Empress.

You always have been loyal, Commander.

Perhaps I don't need the princess after
all.

Set a course back to the Volvian Empire.

It's time we went home.

As you wish.

Vima, I found it.

No, wait.

Look, a promise. Yes, it is.

Batteries included.

Now, why exactly?

Did you have that in your cabin?

Well, I guess it's time for us to go.

Yes, you're right. We must leave now.

Thank you for everything.

Yes, thank you. We couldn't have done it
without you.

Hold it, hold it, hold it just a second
here, okay? These are aliens.

We can't just let them leave. We've got
to study them.

Hello? Research grant?

Them. Right.

Why did you freeze everyone?

It's for the best.

Now, come on. We have to go.

I hope this works.

This ship, it's powering up.

All systems go.

What? What about the people we just
frozen?

You're right.

Frozen. It's what they do.

Where are they?

There.

Man, they're gone.

We used to have this as evidence.

We erased it.

Now I'm back to the drawing board.

Better luck next time.

So everything was true?

Yes.

Especially about the radiation.

I don't know about you, but I just can't
stand it anymore.

Wait. Wait.

Really? Let's go inside.

Yeah.

No.

One thing I don't understand.

What was all that talk about the
radiation making everyone want to have

I don't know. There's certainly nothing
in the radiation to make them want to do

that. I think they're just one horny
species.

you were possessed of a third leg.

I see no evidence of that.

Curse me for being a fool!

Sorry.

Yes, and I think perhaps their third leg
takes the place of their brain. They're

a very ignorant species.

I was at the site where your ship
landed, and there was this radiation,

affected me in a strange way.

You're not getting away with that.

Radiation is making me horny trick
again.

It didn't work last time, and it won't
work now.

Oh, my...

Yeah, I'll take you to her. I know where
she is.

Mm -hmm.

Yep.

She's getting kind of old, and, you
know, you get a little old, you get

and you get stubborn, so I stick my key
in her, and she's going... Whoa!

Just when she was so close to my grasp!