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- FOOTSTEPS

Oi!

- Wakey, wakey, rise and shine.

- Put some clothes on and exit the cell, please.

We've had intel that there could be contraband in here.

- That's a lie.

That's a lie. - Thanks for clearing that up.

Get the fuck out!

- You don't have anything you shouldn't have, no?

No more of those drugs?

No more of those drugs? - Shut up!

- What are they looking for?

- Can you explain what these are?

- Two kettles.

- You should only have one.

You should only have one. - You'd better lock me up then, gov.

Everything's OK. We'll be fine.

- What are these?

What are these? - My babies.

- He grew them from seed.

- Really?

- They're only tomatoes!

- How do I know that?

- It's Pete. He's an honest guy.

- I was practising, you see. For a new job in the garden.

- You haven't heard? That won't be happening now.

- It was okayed ages ago.

- Do I need to remind you that you two spent time with Jac Love...

..before he jumped off this balcony?

- We were helping him.

We were helping him. - You're lucky he's still alive.

Until I find out what happened to his headphones...

..you won't be going near the garden.

- You're just going to let him do that?

- Sorry, mate.

This is stupid.

- Why?

Try it today and see how you feel then, yeah?

You might surprise yourself.

- If you're asking me, the headphones have disappeared.

- They must be here somewhere.

They must be here somewhere. - Dunno, mate.

Everyone's fed up of the searches.

They should defo have appeared by now.

- Carry on asking.

The faster we find them, the less of a problem Simon Says will be.

While you're at it, we need to show we won't take his shit any more.

- How?

- Alright, kid?

I'm Hugh.

- Hardy.

- Hardy.

Got a first name?

Got a first name? - Dale.

- Well, nice to meet you, Dale.

What are you doing?

What are you doing? - Six years.

- Plenty of time to make a carpenter of you then.

Do you know what this is?

- A hammer, yeah?

- So, we're halfway there.

Come on, the rest will be here soon.

- So?

- What?

- What's the plan?

- I'm not your babysitter.

I'm not your babysitter. - You're supposed to mentor me.

- It's not rocket science, is it?

- I don't know! I've never really done this before.

- Right, you take the lads to the workshops, I'll do chapel.

That enough of a plan for you?

- Hey, I have a job for you.

Problem?

- Have you spoken to Roberts?

- Come on then.

- What do you want?

- We need to sort this.

- I don't think so.

- Things got out of hand before.

You know Brennan was behind it.

You know Brennan was behind it. - That's why I hate you, Hardy.

To be a boss, you have to take responsibility.

- Yes or no?

- You tried to get him to kettle me, not Brennan.

- I don't give a shit what you think, but this one does.

All I want to hear is that you're not going to go after Hussein again.

- When you reach my age, you notice that...

..that life is too short to worry about small fry.

- Happy?

- I'm sorry.

- I know you are.

Please, just stop hanging around with a twat like him.

- Just lay off for a bit.

- And let them make fools out of us?

- If they expect cell searches, we're not going to find anything, are we?

- The searches will stop when I say so.

- Watson's tomato plants.

- You know the rules - no plants unless they come through security.

- He's harmless though.

He's harmless though. - Is he?

Where's Chloe?

Where's Chloe? - Workshops.

I'm not convinced she's cut out for all this.

- What teenager is? Will you take this to the bin on the way to the chapel?

- Who is he?

- Shakey Blakey. Junkie.

He's in and out.

But every time he comes in, he brings lots of stuff in with him.

- What's that got to do with me?

- It's first come, first served. But you can't trust him.

If he comes to your wing, you have to get everything out soon as...

..or he'll sell them to someone else.

- I could do without this today.

- I heard you're having trouble with the S.O.

- He's a keen bastard.

- Something for me to worry about?

- Lovely to see you all here again.

Let's start with a hymn.

Number 21.

- What about this bit here?

- Don't worry about that. It's the top bit you need to sort out.

- You're shit at that.

- What did you say? Take it back!

- What are you going to do?

What are you going to do? - Come on then!

- Stop it! Hey! What's going on?

- Misunderstanding, Miss. Hardy's just about to apologise for it.

- Oi!

- Dale Hardy!

- Well?

- He's had a shock, I think.

He's had a shock, I think. - What about Simon?

- I'll speak to him.

- Good luck with that.

- He's new. He doesn't know you yet.

- The guy's impossible.

- Dale has started the course today.

- Oh. Say well done from me.

- What are you doing tomorrow?

- Do you want me to check my diary?

- I'm arranging a visit from the University's criminology department.

I'd like some of the men to speak to them.

- Me?

What would I say?

- The truth. What brought you here, what the reality of prison life is.

There's a buffet.

There's a buffet. - Sausage rolls?

- I'll see what I can do.

Come on!

- Go on then.

- Thanks. See you tomorrow.

- Pritchard! Have you farted?

- As if, sir. I'm a gentleman.

Jesus, it stinks here.

Sorry I haven't been in touch. It's on the list.

- Thanks. There's no time to think, is there?

But I'd like to raise another matter.

Peter Watson.

He shares with Barry Hardy.

- Oh, yeah. Those tomato plants. What about him?

- He was looking forward so much to that job.

- In the garden?

In the garden? - Yes.

- You'd be surprised how many officers in this place...

..don't know the men in their care.

No interest in finding out what makes them tick.

I'm different.

I read his file.

- That was years ago. He's a different man now.

- Listen, I'm sure you think the best of him...

..but my conscience can't let him work there of all places.

- That file doesn't show his progress.

- He cut out his mother's tongue with secateurs, in the garden.

- The psychiatrist thinks the fresh air would do him good.

- She's not responsible for his safety and that of everyone around him.

- The risk of something happening is so small.

- But there is a risk.

That's the point.

It was lovely to meet you.

- Peter deserves this chance.

Don't take it from him without getting to know him.

- Come back to me in six months...

..and we'll revisit the decision then, OK?

- 'Door open'.

- New arrival.

- Bloody hell. I thought last time was the last time.

- Fancied a little break, sir.

- Well, you've come to the right place. How you been keeping?

- Alright, yeah.

- Which cell?

- On remand, so put him with Roberts for now.

- Roberts?

- Problem?

- He has a lot to deal with as it is.

- I'm sure he'll enjoy the company then.

- Right, let's get you settled in then.

What you on these days?

- A little bit of this, a little bit of that, like. You know how it is.

- I don't, no.

New mate for you, Roberts.

- Alright, boss man?

- Shakey Blakey, as I live and breathe!

- Right! Who did that?

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- I don't even know the guy.

- What happens outside the workshop stays outside.

- It wasn't beef.

This is stupid.

- Dale!

- I can't do it, no. Look at the state of this!

- That's why I'm here. To help!

- Where do you think you're going?

Where do you think you're going? - I wanna leave.

- Everyone has to stay until the end. Those are the rules.

- Fuck's sakes!

Any idea who ordered it?

I wouldn't like to be in his shoes anyway.

- 'Door open'.

'Lock, prove and check'.

- Jesus, twice in a day.

It's my lucky day.

It's my lucky day. - Shakey Blakey?

- Maybe.

- I'm Hardy.

- Don't listen to him, Shakey. He's a twat.

- I'm here to collect.

I'm here to collect. - Give me a chance, lad.

I've only been here a minute.

I've only been here a minute. - What you got?

- Four rubbers. Full.

- Best cavity in the business.

- When can I get them?

When can I get them? - How long's a piece of finger?

- ROBERTS LAUGHS

'Door open'.

- What's happened?

- Spillage.

CHLOE RETCHES

- Sorry.

- 'Door open'.

- They were only tomatoes.

What did they do to anyone?

What did they do to anyone? - I know, mate.

You don't know what happened to them, no?

- The tomatoes? Been thrown by now.

- Headphones.

That guy's headphones.

No-one else has seen them.

- You think it was me?

- Of course not! Asking, just in case.

- That's what you and Linda were talking about?

I saw you looking at me and whispering.

- Mate, come on. We weren't talking about you.

She was asking a favour.

- What favour?

What favour? - Nothing major.

- Well?

- No idea.

- We know who ordered it, don't we? Barry Hardy.

- Probs, but without the proof...

- Find the proof.

- What do you expect? I said you needed to take a step back.

- When I come back, I want answers. Just do it!

Take this away.

- Is he angry?

- What do you think?

- What's your problem with me?

You've been a right twat since I got here.

You left me on my own on my first day!

- It's not all about you.

It's not all about you. - What is it about, then?

- None of your business.

- Do you know what?

I have tried my best, but you are the most horrible man I've ever met!

And in case you haven't noticed...

..I work in a fuckin' prison!

- 'Door open'.

'Door open'.

I need those packages by dinner time.

- Can't reach 'em, can I? Pushed 'em too far.

You'll have to wait for gravity to do its thing.

- Hey, there's always the spoon.

- Yeah!

Or you can spoon them out.

- SHAKEY BLAKEY LAUGHS

- But I want extra for that.

- Push harder.

- Told you, didn't I? He hasn't got the balls to be the boss!

- BOTH LAUGH

- Watson?

- My babies!

- Don't tell anyone, right?

Keep them hidden.

- Thank you.

- Right, less of that.

- Miss!

Fancy a bit?

Fancy a bit? - Put it away.

- Just a quick tug, miss.

Just a quick tug, miss. - Go on, Pritch!

- See you tomorrow then.

- Problem?

Problem? - All sorted.

- Did he flash you?

- Needed a microscope to see it.

- Nice one, newbie.

Nice one, newbie. - No thanks to you.

- Listen.

I'm sorry for being a prat. It's not you, it's me.

- I know.

- I'll be a better co-worker from now on, I promise.

Everyone deserves a second chance, right?

Would you like a cup of tea?

Would you like a cup of tea? - Now you're just being weird.

- Ready.

- Remember...

..I want extra for this inconvenience.

- Go on then.

- Me?

- You have no choice.

- At least be gentle with me, lad.

- Bloody hell! You're hopeless, boys.

Bloody hell! You're hopeless, boys. - Give it here.

- So why are you doing this?

- Doing what?

- Working in this shithole. How old are you? 14?

- I'm 19. And I've got a plan.

- What, to get PTSD?

- I'm gonna go to Australia.

- Really?

- I've sorted it all out. My two-year plan.

I'm living with my parents, which saves a few quid.

I get a bonus on top of my salary for the first couple of years...

..just for being here, then I'm off and you'll never see me again.

- Fair play. But you've got two problems.

One. Do you know that everything in Australia wants to kill you?

Look what happened to what's his face - Steve Irwin.

- Who?

- Google him. That'll put you off.

Second problem - do you think you'll last two years in here...

..without developing serious mental health issues?

- Sorry, what?

- Alright, lads?

- Gov.

- What are you up to?

- Having a chat with the new guy.

Having a chat with the new guy. - Check the cell, Miss Jones.

Wall. Now.

How's it looking?

- All good.

- Right! Let's see what you two have got on you then.

- Are you going to say sorry?

- For what?

- The strip search. I said I had nothing.

- Not going to believe you, am I?

- If Shakey gets the stuff out tonight...

..can I trust you not to do anything with them?

What's funny?

- You know what?

I never thought to go out of my way to make your life a nightmare.

But because he landed in my lap...

..and because you're such a fuckin' twat...

- Don't be stupid and do something you regret.

- Have you any idea how much time I have left to live?

Four months, tops.

Cancer. Hell of a thing. But there we are.

But maybe I'll have the last laugh...

..when those packages fall into my hands.

You shouldn've spooned them out like a real man.

Thanks.

- You're welcome.

- 'Door open'.

IRONIC CHEERS

- Enough!

Enough!

- Well?

- Hardy and Hussein are clean like a couple of whistles.

- Must I do everything myself?

- S4C subtitles by Cyfatebol

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