Original subtitles

Anyway, presents for the first anniversary are supposed to be made out

you know? And tickets for a show are made out of paper, right?

So guess what I'm doing? I'm giving Abby two tickets for a show for our first

anniversary. Isn't that smart?

Hello there.

Can I have two tickets for Sunday night? The best you've got.

Maybe you'd like me to throw in a couple of passes to the next presidential

inauguration. Buddy, a chorus line is the hottest ticket in town.

Oh, you mean you don't have any?

Zero.

Filch, the best I can do for you is to put you on a waiting list for the last

weekend of the run.

Of course, there are already over 50 names on the waiting list, but I'm

of starting a waiting list for the waiting list.

Oh, no, forget it. Thanks anyway.

Well, Dad, maybe if you put your name on the waiting list, you can use those

tickets for your next anniversary.

No, the show won't be here then. It wouldn't be any good anyway, because the

second anniversary is supposed to be cotton.

You mean each one is different?

That's right. There's paper, and then cotton, and the third one is, uh, I

forget. But anyway, then it goes into metal, tin, and the 25th one is silver,

and guess what the 50th one is? Gold.

Gold. You mean on your 50th anniversary we have to buy you gold presents?

In 49 years.

Well, then it wouldn't be too early to start.

Start what?

Increasing my allowance.

When the sunrise smiles on everything around

It's a portrait of the

happiness that we feel and always will Oh,

it is enough to fill our lives with love

We spend our days like bright and shiny new dimes.

If we're ever puzzled by the changing times.

There's a plate of homemade wishes on the kitchen window

sill.

And eight is enough to fill our lives with.

It's on my anniversary.

I don't have any.

Oh, I guess... I guess it kind of happens when you get old, huh?

Ideas just dry up.

It has nothing to do with it. I'm not getting any older. I just have the

morning blog.

I know.

Okay, maybe this will help.

Remember the article you wanted to do about the old people at the beach? Yeah.

Take a look.

Oh, that's hardly inspirational.

Oh, thank you.

Wait a minute. Hold it just a second.

Look at this. You see this guy, the roly -poly one? He owes me 75 bucks.

He loaned $75 to a guy who looks like a walking bad debt.

I didn't loan it exactly.

Don't you remember?

His name's Sam Harris. Nicholas caught him stealing all our Christmas presents

but let him get away.

Then we found him and had him arrested.

Of course, and you got talking to bail him out.

Every time I think about it, I get a pain in the back.

Right where I keep my wallet.

My name's Nicholas, just like yours.

Is that nice?

Yes, sir.

Oh, oh, oh.

Stay right where you are!

Well,

now, I wasn't expecting company.

I'll just go put the kettle on.

No, you won't.

What a nice surprise.

The trimming does seem a little skimpy, don't it?

Come on, old timer, let's go.

Are you going to put it in behind bars?

Yes, but it's a very nice cell.

Yeah, but remember, he has one phone call, you know. He's got to call his

lawyer. I should know. I was in jail once before.

You were?

Sure. Just play it close so they won't slap any more charges on you.

Come on, Santa Claus, let's go.

Oh, I thought you wanted to celebrate Christmas. Come on, give me a break.

on, we need the Christmas dinner while Carl stands in the chair.

Hey, it's him here. He said he was a mission beach San Diego.

I thought he would do that place in Mexico, Cusivaca. But it looks like

Cuernavaca.

Right. Yeah, I'll tell you what. He probably conned some poor sucker for the

money to come back. Oh, Dad. Yeah, or he stole the money to come back. Hey,

you're a big... I'll tell you something. His stealing days are over. What are

you doing? Dad, you wouldn't... I would, and I am. Dad, wait a minute.

For what? The man stole our Christmas. He ran off with the bail money we put up

for him. Never returned the stuff we gave him. Besides, he's a fugitive from

justice. He's Santa Claus.

Yeah.

And you're a bunch of patsies.

Yeah, we all are.

The only reason I'm doing this is because she's down in San Diego and not

in Sacramento. Yeah, yeah.

That's right, Dad.

Thanks, Dad.

Thanks.

Where are you going to hide the decorations?

In my closet under the ironing. Which Abby said could sit there until I did it

myself. It's safe.

Okay. Um, what about the cake? It's ordered. Decorated like the front page

the register. And the headline reads, Flash.

Abby and Tom Bradford have been married a whole year.

All of that?

Well, it's a big cake. We're having 30 people, aren't we?

Oh, is that the final count? Marry 30 people? Hey, cool it. Here comes

Oh, no.

What's going on?

Nothing. Not a thing. How come you didn't invite me?

Nothing's going on, Nicholas.

Yeah, we were just talking. You guys have been talking for days. Well, it's

about grown -up stuff, Nicholas. You should just be bored.

have to have been here from the beginning, Nicholas, you know? It

sense. Right.

See, it really hasn't mattered. It's just unimportant. So why don't you go

have a good time, okay? Yeah, go ride your skateboard.

Right.

Little kid.

Yeah. If he wasn't such a bladder mouth, we could include him in on everything.

Yes, I know Chorus Line is a hard ticket to get, but that's why it's such a

great anniversary gift for my husband.

A waiting list.

Well, how far down on the waiting list?

Oh, no.

Abby, all the kids learn later.

No, no, no, not you later. I was talking to someone else.

Well,

yes, I think it is important since it's my anniversary, yes.

A waiting list for a waiting list?

Can

I

talk to you? In a minute. This is important.

Forget it. Wait a minute, Nicholas. Oh, hello.

Is this Benny?

Yeah, this is Tom Bradford.

Did you get me those chorus line tickets for Sunday night?

You didn't?

Oh, what kind of a scalper are you anyway?

Oh, no, don't give up. No, no, please don't give up.

Well, it's a great day for skateboarding, huh?

Who says?

What's wrong?

I don't know. Ask them.

Who? All of them. They're all up in Mary's room planning something, and they

won't let me plan it, too.

Oh.

They never let me in on things, David. They act like I'm not even their

No, no, Nicholas. It's not that. It's...

Well, it's grown -up stuff, and you'd be bored.

They told you about it, didn't they?

Well, yeah, but... And you don't even live here.

I know, but I am a member of the family.

Well, you're a member of the family, too, of course, but... That's what

here for, isn't it? That meeting upstairs.

And you don't even live here.

Everyone's invited except me.

I'll tell you what.

I'll check it out, and I'll see if I can get you in, okay?

We'll talk about it later, okay?

Sure we will.

You're the only ones in this house who don't hate me.

Hello, Benny? Are you the man who gets the tickets?

Oh, good.

Really, yeah.

A chorus line.

No, I don't want any other show.

And it's for Sunday.

This Sunday.

Well, if you could get two tickets.

Okay.

Why do you need my name?

Oh, it's, um... Abby.

Um, Abby Doe.

That's D -O -E.

No, um, Jane Doe's my sister.

What's wrong with you?

Everything, Irving.

That's a lot of things.

I'm at the end of my rope.

You get doctor allowance or something?

No, worse.

They all ganged up against me. Who is?

My whole family. They're always leaving me out of things, and nobody will talk

to me.

What you gonna do?

I don't know.

Maybe I'll disown them.

It's only you.

I live here.

Hey, would you shut the door? You want them to see this?

Have you gotten a picture for the album yet?

No.

Well, you're the only one that hasn't contributed.

And the only one who doesn't have a camera. And the only one that nobody

use it.

Well, have you figured out what you're going to get the folks?

No, I can't think of anything. Can you?

I did the album.

No, I mean for me, Tommy. Please.

Well. Just think paper. It has to have something to do with paper.

I mean, it doesn't have to be paper. It could be about paper.

Sure, why not?

What's that?

Scissors. No, the thing that holds paper down so it doesn't get messy.

Oh, you mean a paperweight.

Yeah, that's what I'll make. A paperweight. Hey, good idea.

Would you shut the door?

So what you guys want me to do is scuttle tickets for a chorus line. A

line?

Well, you're just going to have to cancel them. No, Nancy, no, wait a

didn't know that. Maybe if Dad can get tickets for a chorus line. I mean, I

doubt if he can. He's been trying all week and, you know. Well, if they should

come through, maybe you could make a mistake happen, you know, for a

night. No, I don't know, Nancy. I mean, he would be lucky to get those for any

night. Right. Come on, Joanie. We're trying to organize a party.

Now, listen, Donna.

It's important that you get Dad and Abby out of the house. You're going to take

them to dinner.

Right. Then you'll all get into your car and you'll drive off to the restaurant,

taking your time.

And then just before you get there, you'll realize that you left your beeper

your own jacket.

Which you will have discovered was torn while you were at our house. But just

the theme, you know, I'll sew it up afterwards.

So you'll have to borrow a jacket from Dad, see? Right, and you'll have to go

back to our house to get it.

He has such terrible taste in clothes.

Take your time on the way back. Right, and when you get back to our house...

people will be there, the decorations will be up.

Surprise!

Hello?

Who?

Oh, oh yes, Benny, yes, this is Mrs. Doe.

You do?

This Sunday?

How come?

He didn't?

Foolish man.

Yes, of course I want them.

Fifty dollars each.

I'll take them.

No fun putting it away.

Good, then you can help me with my paperwork.

Sorry, but somebody else needs my help tonight.

Who?

The incomparable Wendy Springer.

I thought she wouldn't go out with you.

She was just playing hard to get.

Besides, I got a definite maybe.

I was hoping you'd help me.

Hey, you don't need my help. You know how to use that thing.

Yeah, but that alone, everybody would hold the things for me.

Yeah, but that's when you were just a little kid.

What is it, Nicholas?

Can somebody help me?

Not right now. We're real busy.

Everyone will have an assignment, and the minute Dr. Max gets Dad and Abby out

of the house, it'll be all symptoms go.

Right, and then by the time the guests arrive, we should be all set up, right?

Right, as long as... Will somebody help me?

Uh, no, right now we have to get these dishes done, Nicholas. Right.

After? Uh, no, not after, Nicholas. We have some important things to do.

I don't know why.

Nobody will help me. Oh, please, Nicholas. I have to make a deadline with

column. So does everybody else.

Nobody cares.

I don't have any friends in this house. Just relatives.

Nicholas.

Nicholas, what was all...

Is something burning in the kitchen? No, we thought it was out here.

No, it's upstairs.

Daddy, it's burning. I know. Hey, you guys, is there a burning up here? No,

no, don't open it. It's all right, it's cold.

I don't know.

We're leaving right now.

Good for you, son.

You were very brave, Nicholas.

Uh, they just teach all that stuff at the school.

Any idea how it started?

No.

Captain.

Well, here's our culprit.

They can level with you.

Let me see that, please.

Nicholas, was Tommy using this?

No, sir. I was.

Good for you, Nicholas.

I can't tell you, but I was real careful.

But you know you're not supposed to use this unless somebody's helping you. I

went around looking for somebody to help me, but nobody would.

Everybody was busy and nobody would help me.

Fire didn't ruin, the water did.

Everybody in this whole family worked on this album.

Everybody but you.

So you wouldn't care if it got ruined.

Leave him alone, Tom.

What do you think, dude?

That the insurance company better come through like a house on fire, or you're

going to be in hock up to your neck.

It's nice to have someone who knows about construction for a summer.

Well, labor I can give you for nothing, but materials are not that cheap.

I just got it all scratched out where I wanted.

Oh, well, it's not ruined or anything. It just needs a new cover. I can fix it

for you.

Don't do me any favors, or they'll all hate you, too.

Well, you could move in with some of the girls, and then we could put the boys

in here.

Oh, no.

None of our beds is wide enough for two people. Yeah, Dad, I don't want to sleep

in the same bed with Nicholas.

He hogs all the blankets.

You'll have to, Tommy, until your room is redone. I mean, you can't sleep

downstairs. It's too uncomfortable for two weeks.

Can't I move in with David?

Well, that's up to him.

Well, I guess I can put up with Tommy.

But I won't take Nicholas.

I would, but I won't be around enough to give any supervision.

Wait a second. You know, I've got an idea.

Why don't we just ship Nicholas serving Jay Moores? I mean, he's there all the

time anyway, right?

All right, that's a good idea.

I'll tell Abby to call the Moores right away.

Okay.

You just want to call it off because you haven't found a present.

Yeah.

Hi. Hi, guys.

The party's on as planned, okay? And be sure and get gifts because they need

them more than ever now, okay? Oh, what am I going to get them?

Hey, just don't get them a magazine subscription.

I got them a year of National Geographic.

Great idea.

I'll get him a year's supply of Time and Newsweek. And a year of Time and a year

of Newsweek. You'll lose again.

You all right? Hey, Tommy, you didn't have to get something new, huh? Wrong.

still giving them the photo album. Of what?

What do you think?

Hold it.

Insurance pictures.

Tommy, I have to talk to you.

Stay put.

for the album with what your camera oh not on your life i don't even want you

looking at it bad luck follows you around like a shadow tommy does

hate me well let's just say that we're keeping a fair distance

let's face it kid you're cursed hey you stupid little

would you stay away from me

putting some of these presents back in the back?

Well, I was just... I was just... just looking for something.

How come you're not wearing your red suit?

Well, I didn't get it back to the cleaners in time. Besides, I've got my

undershirt on, you see, and my red socks.

Did you come down the chimney?

No, no, no. Your chimney is much too small, and I am much too enlarged. Come

along. Now, go to bed.

You know, those pictures that you made...

were worth more than anything here in this whole room. You know why?

Why? Because you made them.

Because presents like that are worthwhile the ones you can't buy or

they're made with love, not money.

Coming through.

I wish I had the ability to make presents like that for my grandchildren.

How many grandchildren do you have?

Ten. Ten, yes.

But they don't live with me now. They live way off down San Diego way.

Give me my gift.

The gift I want to give to all of you is just to get out of your lives.

That's right.

I'd give anything to be able to go down to San Diego way to see my grandchildren

again.

Here's all I got, $7 .43.

I'll have to owe you seven cents.

Forget it.

Boy, I thought you'd never give this up.

So did I.

All right.

Now, Nicholas, if you need any more while you're at Irving J. Moore's, you

me, understand?

Okay, thanks.

Do you need help packing?

One, two, three, four, and five.

Now look it, if you need more... I'll call you. Right. Oh, by the way, don't

anything for bubble gum.

Gee, thanks.

You don't know what this means to me.

Hello, Mrs. Moore? This is Nicholas Bradford. My folks decided I should stay

my brother's house.

Okay, bye.

Oh, hey, Nicholas.

Let me help you with that.

to start doing things for myself.

Have it your way. I'll call the Moors and tell them that you're on your way.

I called them already.

Oh, well, then let me get that suitcase in the car for you. No, thanks.

You're always saying we should save gas. I can walk. Gosh, that's very

considerate of you, Nicholas.

And don't call to see if I got there. I'll call you.

Hmm. Looks to me like you're more than taking care of things for yourself.

I've decided not to bother people.

Huh. What a nice guy.

Bye. So long.

Where to, sonny? San Diego.

Are you traveling alone?

Yes, ma 'am. I'm going to see my grandpa.

Oh, that's nice.

Round trip?

No, ma 'am. One way.

Do you think that your company will cover the damage?

Let her check out all the wiring in the house.

Well, that's the first thing we'll do. Will the insurance company pay for that,

too? No smoke alarms, huh? Well, that's the first thing we'll get as soon as...

All right, as soon as we make the settlement. What day do you think

It's too bad you didn't think of it earlier.

Oh, well, how could I? I mean, the fire only happened last night.

I was referring to fire alarms.

Oh. How many in the family?

Not... Well, there are nine, but, I mean, there are nine that live here.

How often do you have fire drills?

Well, we're going to start right away.

Right after we get the smoke alarms.

Right after we settle our claim.

So what do you think?

We're covered, right? I don't make the decision, folks. Just the report.

Would you like a cup of coffee?

Can we get some coffee and cream?

Just like I said.

Is everything all right?

Yeah. Tell everyone I'm okay and they don't have to call.

I will.

Good night, son.

Goodbye, Dad.

It's a shame the kid has to sleep like this when he can have the whole seat to

lie down on.

Is he yours?

No. No, I picked him up in Sacramento.

Ah, shucks. I need a small screwdriver.

I got it. I got it.

Hold it.

What is he, the CIA?

Hey, would somebody get the door, please?

They're all in here, working.

Well, we just can't let it ring.

Oh, it's going to take days in the tub to steam the suit out of my pores.

Excuse me.

That's just what she needs, an excuse to sit in the tub.

It looks just

terrible. Just terrible.

I know exactly how you feel.

I wouldn't want to go on living here either.

What? Huh?

You're not the head of the household, are you? Uh -uh.

It looks just terrible, just terrible. I know exactly how you feel. I wouldn't

want to go on living here either.

Well, nobody invited you. We happen to like this house, you know. Who are you,

anyway? Oh, Della Gale, Hemmings and Gale Real Estate. My card.

I've got a client who's just dying for a house like this. You can practically

name your own price.

Bradford? Yes, I'm Tom Bradford. City building and safety inspector.

Upstairs? Yes.

Abby.

I'm sorry, Miss Gale, we just can't... I understand it looks just terrible, but

you've got money. Call me any time, night or day.

50 miles of beach in San Diego.

This one.

Let's see.

That would be... No. It would be... Oh, yes. 34 to La Jolla.

Only don't go to La Jolla. Go to West Mission Boulevard.

There's an old amusement park near there.

It's not an amusement park any longer.

I'm not sure it hasn't even been torn down.

You're just going to have to go out there and find it for yourself.

If you're upstairs and the stairway is clear, well, then, of course, you use

If not, there will be a fire alarm placed in every bathroom.

Now, when the alarm rings, you follow the route indicated by your respective

colored crayon.

Listen, you guys, we really have to get started on that party. We only have

three days. Hey, relax, Jody. I already got the guest list from Daisy. Yeah, I

know. How are we going to have time to call 40 people? Hold on, Jody. Make it

50. Huh? Donna added some names when I asked her to help us.

Didn't we agree to keep this small and simple? Oh, yes, David.

You know, forget small and simple. This has to be a bash.

I mean, Dad and Abby really need this party now. Poor Abby. She's upstairs

now taking a breather.

Hello, Benny.

This is Mrs. Abby Doe. Right.

Listen, there's been an emergency, and I'm not going to be able to use the

tickets, so I was wondering if you could refund them.

You know, I'm sure you're going to find some people who need some chorus line

tickets, right?

Oh, good.

Okay, so you'll refund $40 each.

No, no, no. Wait a minute. Now, I sent you $100 in small bills, just like you

asked. That's $50 each.

Well, you know, you don't run a business. This is grand theft.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't hang up, okay? Okay.

I'll take the $40.

Thanks.

My welfare and your pension.

You could starve together instead of separately.

Who asked you?

We're losing your place together.

And live in sin?

At your age, it's only a sin of omission.

Who asked you?

blocking the view, kid.

Where is he?

Where's who?

Him. He's in the picture. Why isn't he here?

Who does he want?

Him. Sam.

Where is he?

What do you want him for?

Whatever it is, he didn't do it.

He probably did, but you have to understand the circumstance.

I don't know what you're talking about. I just have to see Sam.

He's not here, Sonny.

He went to a place where they can't exploit him anymore.

Where's that?

Sam died, kid.

Died?

Were you a friend of Sam?

So was I, kid.

Sam was my best friend.

I'm going to be my grandpa.

Nathan, you got an extra dollar? No, but I'll give you one anyway.

Come on, kid. I'll buy you a hot dog.

Come on.

Well, I was the one who was trying to put out the fire, but Tommy wasn't there

to help.

David took Tommy in to live with him and not you, huh?

Yeah, so they wanted to send me to Irving Morse. He's a great friend and

everything, but he's not even in the family.

Exile. Yeah.

And so young, too.

Oh, come on now. They probably figured you'd rather be with your best friend.

Nope. They hate me.

Cushops.

Bolshevik.

But they're plenty worried about you right now.

Nah. I bet they don't even know I'm gone and don't even care if they do.

Serve him right if he never went back.

Stop giving the kid ideas, Nathan.

He's got to go back.

I'm not going.

He's not going, Joe.

He's going.

Now, where is home, kid?

Why'd Sam have to go and die?

the car, she did.

See, you've got to go back.

Now, where is home, Nicholas?

Here.

Everyone?

Hey,

Nance, I've got the perfect idea for an anniversary gift. Yeah, what?

Stationery with a Bradford.

Written and crept across the top.

You didn't. I did.

I pick it up from the printer first thing tomorrow.

What are we, animals?

No. Speak for yourself, Nathan.

We're fellow human beings.

A boy needs a home, you take him in.

It's your speech. You take him in.

I want you to, Joe. He wants you to, Joe. That's exactly what I'm saying.

Be a person for once.

Joe's bungalow is the second one on the right. Enjoy.

He can't stay with me.

I have no place else to go.

Well, son, I'll take you back to the bus depot.

I'm staying here.

Second one on the right.

Look, kid, I'm sure that if Sam was here, you could stay with him because,

he was a good friend of yours.

Couldn't be. All right, you.

Look at me when I'm talking to you.

Mrs. McHenry, how lovely you look this morning. You can save that for your

ladies on the beach, Joe Simons. All I want from you is three weeks back rent

out. You know, I think the post office must have lost my check.

Your investment dividend.

Yeah, I was over there all morning arguing with them about it. Maybe you

have spent that time hunting for a house.

Oh, you wouldn't throw me out.

Watch me.

Would it be all right?

My grandpa took me in to change before we go.

Grandpa?

What's this about grandpa?

Mrs. McHenry, I'd like you to meet my grandson, Nicholas. He's just come down

visit me.

Yeah, my grandpa wrote about you in all his letters. How nice you were and

everything.

He did?

Every letter.

He said it'd be all right for me to stay here with him because I have no place

else to go.

No family?

For a visit. Just for a visit.

Well... Didn't I tell you what a nice lady Mrs. McHenry was? But as soon as

boy goes, you go.

Gee, Grandpa, you sure do have a nice way of waiting. Knock it off.

What? No, don't talk to me when I'm thinking.