Original subtitles

Oh, look at your dog.

Can't take his eyes off of me.

I guess he ain't never seen no one dressed like this before.

It ain't that, Reverend.

You got his bow.

Stop biting your finger. Now, stop it. If you keep biting your finger, you'll

get as fat as a balloon. Now, stop it.

Oh, I know what you've been doing.

My wife.

Have I done something?

Just a minute, just a minute. What do you think you're doing? You can't go in

there without a ticket. And they're two pounds each.

But Mr. Treader, I think we've got to eat, didn't we?

Yeah. Well, I've never heard of this Mr.

Treader.

Well, what does he look like?

food tastes like hell, it's not easy to tell the dish water from soup of the

day. Now the patrons have got a new waitress.

She's called Anna Maria Lovebell.

I don't mind if they've won, but her hair is in a bun. But it's in the right

pudding as well.

She went out in the park one night in the dark and was kissing our chef by a

hedge. When along came his wife with a long -handled knife.

She cut off his meat until vague.

But when I saw her, she was down by the river, quietly plucking a duck.

Then just as she feared, the gamekeeper appeared.

She looked up and said, what rotten luck.

She cut the duck in her face, but the gamekeeper's fake. He said, you're

stealing that duck, I suppose.

She said, come off it, Jim, he's just having a swim, and I'm sitting here

minding his clothes.

The new plaza did pour us next door to the Café Olé, and

they advertised big juicy sweetbreads from the bulls that were fighting today.

A tourist complained to Maria these sweetbreads are tiny and thin.

Maria said, sure, but respected senor, you see, sometimes the bull wins.

We stood by her poor old grandfather as he lay upon his deathbed.

And after he sold me his gold -watching chain, he said,

the joys of drink last but a moment.

Cigarettes make you sick, you could die.

But the love of a beautiful woman, oh, it's the best thing that money can buy.

I won't marry the lovely Maria.

She cost family honor for me.

It's all right, I'm sure, with my ma and my pa, but it would upset my wife and

I.

Just what I wanted.

Yes, it's a lovely pullover. It fits perfectly.

Old pink's my favourite colour.

Yes. I always put it on when I'm taking the dog for a walk.

Hello to you.

I think I'm over four or five. I don't know which.

Do you drink?

No. Do you go out with girls?

No.

Then you're false.

Goodbye, Regan. It's still good. You'll have to finish it tomorrow.

Are you in the fire brigade, then?

No, but my girlfriend's husband is.

Why do you get called Stinky Jones?

wearing breastplates through the wide open spotless streets. That, ladies and

gentlemen, is ancient.

this one wouldn't quite date.

Sorry, darling, couldn't get to my key.

I've got three Baudelaire and three Chianti.

Everything okay?

No, it's not. Perkins has gone to Scotland.

Oh, no. His mother's ill.

Oh, what a time to choose.

I rang the agency and they said they'd try and send somebody else.

Good evening, heavenly body.

I beg your pardon? I say good evening, heavenly body. I think he means good

evening, everybody.

You go on.

You're fat.

I beg your pardon?

I say you're fat.

river on the corner.

But it doesn't mention manservant or waiter. Have you waited at the table

before? Yeah, I a good waiter.

And valet?

Valet! Valet good waiter, yes!

I a ploverberry.

Not necessary.

I a ploverberry best writer in Hope Lake, Britain.

Hello, dear. How is here?

Look here.

When our guests arrive, pick up a tray and say, would you consider some

refreshment? Consider what?

Have a drink.

Oh, thank you very much.

That's nice. Very warming.

That's vodka.

Vodka. No, vodka.

Oh, yeah, vodka. Start with a wee, not with a wobble you.

Sherry. Sherry.

No, Sherry.

Sherry. No, Sherry.

You're saying, Shelley, Shelley.

You see, it's not difficult when you try.

No, no.

Yeah, yeah, nice, yeah.

Well, answer it. All right, I know what you've done, madam.

Oh, God.

All right, then I know what you've done, God.

No, Mr.

McGee, sir.

Certainly, Mr.

McGee, sir.

No, I am madam. Madam, yes. I am madam. Madam, madam.

Now, let them in on a point. Apologise for the house being so untidy. I'll be

the bedroom.

Oh, yes, OK.

All right.

Hello, there.

The madame of this disorderly house... ..is right for you in her

bedroom.

Madam, you've got your first customer.

No, no.

I'm Mr Nicholls and this is Mrs...

Oh, so, so. You have a double chin.

I beg your pardon?

You have a double chin.

You have a double chin.

Oh, double chin.

Or you can have water with wee.

With what?

With wee.

It's spout with a wee, not with a wobble you.

Yeah, like a breath.

Oh, just a little something I ran out.

You nearly fell off the top.

It's not a something, eh, George?

Wouldn't mind a little drinky poo. How about a spot of Harry's shampers?

Excuse me. Oh, look. You're messy, you are.

Still.

Why, your wife like the drink, yes? She's not my wife. I haven't got a wife.

Where's your father?

I'll do that. Thank you. All right.

Get out of the way, will you?

The agency said they'd send someone round straight away.

Bless my soul, bonfemme.

What jolly titties we're having.

Oh, yes.

Queen Elizabeth, very good man.

Three tears for...

Muck!

Your voice would thrill a nation.

Your face would be adored.

You'd make a great sensation with wealth and fame. Your reward.

And if you should kiss the way you kiss when we are all alone.

You'd make every...

Oh, children, aren't we forgetting something?

Now, what is it Daddy says before each meal?

Go easy on the butter.

Yes, my dear.

Oh, yes, my dear.

I see you before the altar.

Standing at the altar.

Yes. And you're all in white. You're dressed all in white.

Yes, my dear.

You are going to become a druid.

I think he knows how many pockets he has.

Oh Ethel, Ethel, Ethel, look at that, look at that. What does he look like?

sort of woman could fancy anything

Mrs. Keith.

Sorry we're a bit late.

We had a puncture and had to change the tyre.

Once I showed him who was boss, he was as good as gold.

Redhead?

He had to do it though.