Original subtitles

room service to send us up some refreshments? That would be nice,

Hello,

John?

Yeah, it's me.

Two bottles of the usual, please.

Six nil. Six nil. But... But I love... Which team...

they closed our library because somebody stole the book.

They say our socialist government is like a beacon in a shining bright.

I say it's more like a fiddle. It's held by the left, but it's played by the

right.

How hard is President?

He loves poor people. That's why he has created so many. But you could spend all

day in a bar with him. You wouldn't know that he has any.

But he has married his beautiful wife.

We'd have figured too lovely to hide.

And now we put her on our postage stack. We all licked the wrong side.

The leader of the opposition escaped from prison by digging a funnel.

He tried to blow up the president's luxury liner, but he burnt his mouth on

funnel. So to keep it quiet, me president is in the best apartment in

about the bank, and now he's asking over ten million pounds.

It must be just like you in the night. Don't worry your pretty little head.

Just drink a bottle of tequila before you go to bed.

You'll be too drunk to notice them for the first half of the night.

And for the second half, those musky gold girls eat to grunt to bite.

So come to Costa Coco, where girls buy Tupperware browns with their cats.

They say they don't elevate and they don't separate, but they keep what

got nice and fresh.

And so it is that when there's a storm, you will go to any old port. Why don't

you come to Costa Coco?

Because it's the last resort.

weather hut there lived a weather pair they'd like to be together but life

is so unfair for though the boy adores the girl they have never met

cause she comes out when the sun shines he comes out when it's wet

She tends her flowers in the sunshine, but goes back in again.

When air, the clouds are overcast, and there's a hint of rain.

That is when the boy comes out, when the rain comes pouring down.

But for him, that's the umbrella.

Once again the sun comes out, it was time that he was gone.

But the rain continued falling, although the sun still shone. As they watched

the beautiful sun shower, the first they'd ever seen.

The weather boy and weather girl went into their routine.

Ended their entanglement, locked in a tight embrace.

And there they stayed together, through wind and rain and hail.

They struggled to release themselves, but was to no avail.

They thus remained through deep rain, and through winter's bitter chill.

Through sleet and snow, and for all I know, they remained there still.

Yeah, what's that?

Could you possibly direct me to the post office? A post office, yeah. You go

down here, you come to a little kid throwing a switchblade at the telegraph

pole, turn right, and you'll come to a tart in red with great big knockers

outside a pub.

Now then, keep straight on till you come to the sex shop, then turn left, and

it's opposite the porno cinema. You can't miss it.

Oh,

give me some of that!

What's that?

My son.

Why don't you turn your back on this wicked life?

Give up your evil ways, abandon all these pleasures of the flesh.

What? Start a new life.

Follow me, and I will lead you into the kingdom of heaven.

The kingdom of heaven?

You don't even know where the bleeding post office is.

The cause of Jamie McPheemy's

downfall... was the ladies.

Even as a wee laddie, he loved them passionately.

He and I did not reciprocate.

Brutal.

no avail.

And then one day, into his life, came Allison.

It was all too much for poor old Jamie.

And so, Alison remained faithful to her husband.

After all, better an old husband than a lover who's a nervous wreck.

Members of the jury, you've heard counsel for prosecution and defense.

And you have all read Arnold Plinger's book, The Scarlet Woman.

If you find it liable to corrupt and deprave, then you must bring in a

of guilty.

If you do not find it liable to corrupt or deprave, then you will bring in a

verdict of not guilty.

How do you find?

We find the defendant guilty, my lad.

Is that the verdict of you all?

No, no!

To climb inside they can't resist. Now I'm going to die a ruin.

Make us clean the stables out. The kind for tea not half a cup. Because the

work keeps piling up. We're the infantry brigade.

Overwork and underpaid.

Twenty -seven to a ten.

No wonder half of us are brave.

Fearless fighting men are we. Who long to kill the enemy.

Could you kill a man, Henri?

I suppose I could, eventually.

Thank you.

But say, where could we go?

Auntie Lil runs a restaurant outside Seville.

Everyone loves Lily's pasta.

If you're in a hurry, she'll make you a curry and after.

I should have to run a little faster.

But I heard that men of treachery go there in search of lechery.

kissing the girls and drinking wine some night till nearly half past nine.

It's just like him.

I'm on guard till eleven.

Oh, that's amazing.

But I'm on duty.

I could not leave my post, you see, no matter what you promise me.

love will someday take you by the hand and lead you off into a one

I've heard that there's a room upstairs where girls act like they're on their

honeymoon.

There are two single babes in there. They are located each side of the room.

The carpet in between is worn and torn and threadbare, held there by one

hand. They are loose.

It's cause of the quick dash across or the slow...

Blood there, it killed my brother Joe.

Ten weeks ago, he killed poor Joe.

Was he in Seville or in Malacca?

No, he was behind the ball.

When he fell off the wall and he killed, it killed my brother

Dave.

Carmel, oh, Carmel, how can you grow up with another man

when I adore you so?

And I will bring you joy forevermore.

Every day and every night I pray that if you go away, you will come

back.

What I really, what I really need is one thing.

It's mine. It's mine.

It's mine.

Come, come, come, come, come.

Victor, look, I went and I bought that, eh? So it's mine, innit?

You're right.

But I lent him the money. So it's mine, innit?

You're right.

Hang on, hang on. I said I went and bought that. You said I'm right.

And you say you lent me the money. You say he's right. We can't both be right.

You're right.

like beer and football and smoking.

Guess what, then? Your eight drawers have come up. You're joking!

Excuse me, sailor.

Do you drink?

Certainly not.

Good. Well, would you hold that for me while I tap my...

any other men in your life?

Oh no darling, only you.

No one at all?

No.

Not even one?

Not even one.

I don't know.

Would you like me to take a walk to the boat?