Original subtitles

Well, that's ridiculous.

I know what I saw. He had his hand right on your ass, Sanjay. It was the small

of my back, actually. The whole area is a danger zone, as far as I'm concerned.

Sanjay is a gentleman.

Sanjay is not a gentleman. The guy's a perv.

Roger, please don't get jealous on me.

This is not jealous.

I'm not. How does Sanjay even have his own agency? He's like 12.

I don't think he shaves yet. We never made a no -fly list.

A no -fly list.

Okay, Iceman. I didn't realize the pattern was full.

You know what you signed up for.

Sometimes I just need to mobilize my passion.

Mobilize your passion with Sanjay Khan.

That's what we're saying happened.

Wow. What is he, Mondays and Fridays?

Well, Wednesday is laundry day.

I think we need to take a break.

I agree. This whole free love thing is stressing me out. From each other,

We work together.

From the sack.

You obviously can't handle it.

It's not going to be very good for the agency.

Fuck the agency.

You probably have.

Oh, jeez. Jesus Christ.

Wait.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What just happened?

I can't hear you. It might be because you hit me in the head with a car door.

Where are you going? You are not breaking up with me through a car

You are not breaking up with me.

I am taking you like a man.

Turn these off.

Why are you?

Do not drive this car.

No.

Turn that down. No problem.

I'd hate Christmas if I were Jewish.

Why would you think that I would... Pick up Bob Freeman at SFO?

You're my first black Jew.

Is that okay to say? How long is this going to take?

I don't know.

Traffic's pretty bad.

Can't we take another route?

Maybe. I don't know. I'm just doing this to save up for Hawaii.

A Christmas present for myself.

They call this...

The future of transportation.

Oh, hell yeah, it's the future.

Get up an airplane, tap an icon, and bam! I got a Prius.

I got a town car.

Well, at least I was there for you.

Yes, you were.

You uber boob.

I can hear you up here.

Merry Christmas, Sharon.

Right.

Oh, happy Christmas.

You mean merry Christmas.

Peanut butter and jelly?

Sunflower butter, actually.

Bullshit. Well, you know, it's safer.

Some people have allergies and it's just... I like peanut butter.

Oh.

You know, it's not really about sunflowers or peanuts, Florence.

It's more about having the sustenance to go on.

Onwards and upwards.

Sit or lie comfortably, quietly.

Allow yourself to be here, fully, in this moment.

With your eyes closed, begin to connect with your inner world of thought and

feeling.

If you find your mind wandering to other thoughts, don't let it concern you.

Gradually, Let the horseshit of the external world fade from your awareness.

Vishnu is displeased with all your chanting this early in the morning.

Yeah. Rude.

No, not at all. You know it's rude using an app to meditate. It's disrespectful

to the gods and pretty stupid.

Well, it works for me and a lot of other people.

Well, I can think of a lot better ways to relax.

And suddenly you're a thought leader on relaxation.

What is happening?

I don't know. It's just, I guess, a physiological response.

I don't have

time.

There's always time.

No, it's Wednesday.

You know, you know what we have today, right? Yeah, I do. We have an hour.

Yeah, but I can probably get some coffee and get on the same page.

Oh, well, I'll probably have to go home first.

What?

What are you doing?

I'll be there, I promise.

No, no, no, no, no. Wrong direction.

What do you know?

You're not the only one who's stressed out, you know. Well, if you need to

relax, then you fuck you.

Fine, I'm okay with that. Can you just lick my balls while I do it?

I already brushed my teeth.

All right, fine. Can we do the mom fantasy?

Let me just suckle on your breasts and you call me a good boy.

Out of milk today.

You don't actually have to produce milk. It's a fantasy.

Bye.

Hello, does anybody work here anymore?

Oh my god, Bob.

Bob.

Finally. I thought you'd all been raptured. No one in advertising is ever

to be raptured, Bob. But happy Hanukkah.

I'm not Jewish.

Oh. Where's Roger?

It looks like a bodega blew up in here. A what?

A deli, a mini mart, I don't know, whatever you Brits call them. Oh, a

shop. Of course.

So quaint.

Not really. They're mostly the purveyors of sugar and corn.

What happened to the cleaning service?

Fired him after the last round of layoffs. You never cancel the cleaning

service, Caitlin.

What if a client happened to stop by? I don't have any clients.

And now I see why.

No, you don't.

This mess is a product of boundless creativity and passion.

That's boundless bullshit.

Bob, I don't believe that subordinates should confront their superiors, but...

Are you serious?

It's rule number 11 in my 20 rules for fluid office dynamics, but I'm breaking

that rule now, Bob.

You must give Roger more time.

Not stupid, you know.

I know why you're here. This office has lost four clients, 29 employees, $5

million in billing. Then you all blame Roger. $5 ,265 ,000 to be exact. Not

it's any of your business.

Not my business.

I am the only account executive left in this fucksy place.

And I'm also the HR manager, the office manager, the receptionist, the cleaning

lady. Shit.

What?

I'm all out of big shiny medals.

Is your partner here?

He should be right behind me.

Are these all your clients?

Yes. Oh, you must be really good. They look so happy.

Oh, I only take pictures of the happy ones.

You can have Maggie's desk.

What the hell happened here?

Oh, right.

Um... You are not going to ruin my life!

You do not walk away from me. I walk away from you.

And you are left wondering why did Rob...

He's not very subtle.

He's not very strong either, but he's passionate.

If he's so damn passionate, then where the hell is he? Oh, God.

Where am I?

Oh, no.

No. Wait. I remember.

Roger?

Bob?

What the hell are you doing behind the sofa?

Sofa fort.

It's got a blanket, pillows, flashlight, half a box of Malamars.

I'll take it from here.

Did you not have a childhood? Did you just go straight to mixing dry martinis

your Snoopy snow cone machine?

I will be at the front desk, wearing my receptionist hat.

What time is it?

Ten o 'clock.

Now get up.

This is your day of reckoning.

Strange, I don't have day of reckoning on my calendar.

Let me just get my pants.

I'm fine.

He's not coming, is he?

No, he's not.

This is couples therapy, Maggie. If Sanjay doesn't want to... I know. I'm

I'm sorry I wasted your time.

Hang on.

Maybe we can try something.

Maggie?

This is Sanjay.

He's a bear.

He's a therapy bear. He becomes...

Whoever you want him to be.

Try saying hello.

Hello, Sanjay.

That's good.

Now, what would you like to say to Sanjay?

caught, you know what to do.

You need to have a very good reason for not being there.

And I mean like hit by a truck good.

The office is a shithole, Roger.

Yeah, it has been a struggle since we lost the cleaning guy.

I suppose you lost the plant guy too, huh?

Yeah, I like the plant guy.

You know, he must have got up every morning and think to himself, what am I

doing today?

Oh, right.

I'm watering plants.

I can't wait.

Why don't I feel like that?

Because you're a total failure.

Not a total failure.

Pants.

Boom.

What happened, Roger?

I can't figure it out.

Talk to Maggie.

I'm talking about after Maggie left.

You promised to take care of our clients, cross your heart and hope to

know. I tried.

You tried.

They didn't like the work. They hated the work.

Because it wasn't Maggie's work.

I was just a showman. I sold the ideas, but they were Maggie's ideas.

Fuck.

Exactly. No.

Those complimentary Bloody Marys are catching up with my prostate.

Bathroom's down the hall and to the left.

Don't move.

Don't move.

Roger.

What is Bob doing here?

What do you think?

He doesn't fire people. He sends HR.

It's like the only thing they're good at.

You are a pillock.

I need a hug.

I'm not supposed to move.

She's very serious.

Don't move.

Office kisses tonight. Need two seconds.

Thrill number nine.

Right. I need two more seconds.

Roger, are you sleeping here every night?

No.

Yes.

Why?

What if I wake up and they've locked the place up and we can't get back in? I

can't risk that.

Not until we fixed everything.

You moved. I did not.

Yes, you did.

What are you doing here?

I have to get that. That is the main line.

You have to get it.

Hello,

Agency SF.

It's Mr.

Baker.

Get rid of him.

He's the vice president of operations.

He's the micromanager of Bob Freeman's ass.

Okay, but what should I say?

Um, say I'll call him back in ten minutes. Scouts fucking honor.

Um, hello, Mr. Baker.

Mr. Freeman will call you back in ten minutes. Scouts honor.

Hello?

I'm not a very patient man.

That's because he wants proof.

Proof of what?

That I'll deliver Roger's head on a silver platter.

You're not going to do it. I am.

It's Andy Baker's new vision for personal accountability.

You don't have to do everything that Andy Baker tells you.

Wow. Look at you, just breaking rule number 11 left and right.

You're a healer, Bob, not an executioner. And then what?

I'm out on my ass, looking for work.

You do not want to be an aging black man in this business. Oh, he says to the

marginalized young black woman.

You can't turn back the clock.

Your hands are irrevocably stuck. What are you doing?

You just wait to be right.

Twice a day with love.

Stand up in your tower.

Away from all this meth.

Life was done with you.

Taking on your best.

But he ever hid that crown.

As heavy as that crown Left me for dead As heavy as that crown Bestowed upon my

head As heavy as that crown But I ain't dead yet I'm lucky

Stop it.

You're just making this harder, okay?

Caitlin, give us a few minutes.

Because?

that this is where you're all hiding.

Next time on... People say you don't even have clients anymore, which has to

true. Oh, my God.

Tell him about the pitch.

Pair the closed pitch. Invite only.

I just so happen to know the new head of marketing. Stinky is dead to me. It's

Pete. Just Pete. We should grab this opportunity by the teeth.

And milk it. Maybe if there were three of me, he would have been satisfied.

Don't you wanna be with me?

Because I want to be one of the ones.

Drunk on flow.

I can't find the pieces.

Left me dead.

Yes, heavy is that crown.

It's torn upon my head.

Heavy is that crown. But I ain't dead yet.