Original subtitles

-[engine idling] -[chuckles]

[pips]

[chuckling]

-Huh? -[engine stalls]

[groans, exclaims]

Illumination!

["Super Mario Bros. Theme" playing]

[song ends]

[wind whistling]

[rumbling]

[shouting]

Behold! The king of the Koopas!

[growls]

[growling]

Open the gates

or die!

[whimpering]

Attack!

[shouting]

[grunting]

[grunts]

That is but a taste of our fury.

Do you yield?

[chuckles]

I do not.

[all gasp, scream]

[grunts]

[cries]

No.

Ah.

[whimpering]

[grunts]

[laughs]

I've finally found it.

And now, no one can stop me!

["Super Mario Bros. Theme" playing]

[singers] ♪ Uh, we're the Mario Brothers ♪

♪ And plumbing's our game ♪

♪ We're not like the others who get all the fame ♪

♪ When your sink is in trouble You can call us on the double ♪

♪ We're faster than the others You'll be hooked on the brothers ♪

-[singers] ♪Huh! ♪ -It's-a me, a-Mario!

And-a Luigi!

Are you-a tired of a-paying too much for plumbing?

[both] Mamma mia!

That's a-why the Super Mario Brothers are here.

-A-to save Brooklyn. -[Luigi] And-a Queens.

And-a your wallet.

Thank you, Super Mario Bros.

It seems like the only thing you haven't drained is my bank account.

Forget-a the expensive a-plumbing companies-a where you're just a face-a.

With-a Super Mario Brothers-a, you're family!

♪ Hooked on the brothers The brothers, the brothers ♪

-[laughs] -Oh, wow! You were great.

I was great? Are you kidding me?

You were great!

I am so glad we spent our life savings on this commercial.

That is not a commercial!

That is cinema.

Uh, what about the accents? Is it-- Is it too much?

Too much? It's-a perfect.

-Wahoo! -[video game chiming]

Okay, I'm gonna trust you.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't Brooklyn's favorite failures,

the Stupid Mario Brothers.

Aw, great. Spike's here.

Hey, Spike.

Yeah. [imitating Mario] "It's-a me!" [laughs]

Whew, yeah.

Tell me, have you even gotten one call

since you left me to start your dumb company?

As a matter of fact, Spike,

we have.

-Wow. Really? -Uh, yeah.

Our mom called,

and she said, "Oh, boys, that's the best commercial I've ever seen!"

And I said, "Thank you very much, Mother. We're very proud of it."

-So, boom! -[phone screen shatters]

[laughing]

Good luck running a business with this idiot.

Say that again about my brother,

and you're gonna regret it.

Oh yeah?

Get this through your tiny brain, Mario.

You're a joke,

and you always will be.

[Spike chuckles]

Are you insane?

He's three times your size.

Luigi, come on.

You know, you can't be scared all the time.

Hmm, you'd be surprised.

[phone ringing]

Hello, Super Mario Brothers.

Uh-huh.

A drip in your faucet? That's great!

I mean, that's-that's great you called us,

because we can be there and we can fix it right away. Okay.

-Mario, we got one! -[laughs]

-The Super Mario Brothers are in business! -Whoo-hoo!

[engine revs]

[engine stalls]

[engine cranks]

Oh no. We're gonna be late.

No, we're not. Come on. Let's go.

["No Sleep Till Brooklyn" plays]

Hey, wait up.

-This way. -♪ Brooklyn! ♪

-[cat yowls] -[screams]

[Mario] Come on, Lu. Step on it.

-[grunting] -[cat yowls]

Excuse you.

-Here you go! -[cat meows]

[pants]

-♪ No sleep till Brooklyn ♪ -Aw, Mario. What're you doin'?

♪ Yeah ♪

[Mario grunts]

Hey! Get off of there.

-[Luigi screams] -[Mario grunts]

You can't be in-- [yelps] Whoa!

My bad! [laughs]

-Move it up! -I'm-- Sorry.

-We're working here! -[Luigi] So sorry.

Come on, Luigi. Pump those legs.

[groans] I'm trying. I'm trying.

I got bad knees. [sighs]

[song ends]

[Mario whistles]

Oh, wow. We have hit the big time.

[chuckles]

The drip is right upstairs at the end of the hall.

-Can you fix it? -[Mario] Very confident, sir.

You'll be careful about making a mess?

Ma'am, I assure you, we don't make messes.

We fix 'em. [chuckles]

That's Francis.

[gasps] He likes you!

[object crunches]

[Francis whines]

-[chuckles] Hey. -[growls]

-[growls] -Mama, mama, mama love ya, baby.

-[chuckles] -[Luigi yelps]

[yelps]

Wrench?

Mm-hmm. And a first job complete.

[both] Hey!

[both gasp]

Francis is here. [gasps]

[growling]

Hey there, pal. [chuckles]

-[Luigi screams] -[Mario grunting]

[whimpering] Mario! Do something!

[gasps]

[Luigi yelps]

-[growls, barking] -[Mario gasps]

[distorted] Mamma mia!

[growling, barking]

Whew.

Uh, Mario?

["L'amour est un oiseau rebelle" playing]

[yelps]

[grunts]

[yelps]

[grunting]

[grunts]

[yelps] That hellhound is gonna escape!

No, he won't.

Whew.

Hey, uh, Mario?

Uh, who's a good puppy?

[chuckles]

Who's a good boy?

-[Francis yelps] -[both] Hmm?

Hmm.

[groaning]

[grunts]

[song ends]

[both gasp]

-Found the problem! -[barks]

-[Uncle Arthur] Ma, you make these? -[Mom] Ah, good batch, hey?

-Why do you make it like this? -[Uncle Tony laughs]

[all] Hey-o!

[both] Hey-o!

Ho-ho! It's the Super Mario Brothers, from the TV!

They give an Oscar for worst actors?

-Hey! -[laughs] What'd I do?

[chuckles] So, uh--

So everybody saw the commercial then?

Uh-huh. We seen it.

-And? -I wouldn't quit your day job.

Oops! He already did.

[laughter]

Well, I thought it was incredible.

It belongs in a movie theater.

Ugh, mushrooms?

Everybody loves mushrooms, right?

-I like mushrooms. I'll take it. -Yeah.

Mario, seriously.

What were you thinking with that commercial?

What? It's supposed to be funny.

-Can someone pass the bread? -Yeah, but what's with the outfits?

Plumbers wearing white gloves?

That's right, you gotta have a trademark.

Gotta stand out.

Don't listen to them. The world laughed at da Vinci too.

I'm not sure they did, Ma.

Dad, what did you think?

I think you're nuts.

You don't leave a steady job for some crazy dream.

And the worst part?

You're bringing your brother down with you.

Well, thanks, Dad.

Thanks for your support.

-[door closes] -What'd I say?

[video game beeping]

I'M FINISHED!

Thanks for tuning in to News Channel 4.

Hey.

Ah, you're not bringing me down.

You know what? What do they know, huh?

Ah, it's not just them.

Our whole lives, everyone's telling us we can't do this, we can't do that.

I'm just sick and tired of feeling so small.

[newscaster] A water main burst underground today,

stopping subway service and flooding downtown Brooklyn.

Everything is under control, I promise you.

We are very close to fixing this.

-[pedestrian 1] Out of the way! -[pedestrian 2]Get back!

Somebody help! Somebody save Brooklyn!

Save Brooklyn?

Luigi, this is our chance.

Destiny is calling.

Destiny Del Vecchio, from high school?

-What? No! Just come on. -[exclaims]

[city worker 1] Look for a gate valve, huh?

[city worker 2] It's more than the storm drains can handle.

[city worker 3] Come on. We gotta pump it.

I got this.

[screams]

They're not even looking in the right place.

Come on, Lu.

[grunts]

-You are not seriously considering-- -[inhales deeply]

Mario!

[exclaims, whimpering]

[screams]

[coughing]

We gotta get to that pressure valve.

Mamma mia!

[grunts]

[yelps]

[grunting]

[groans]

[screams]

-[both screaming] -Mario!

[both groaning]

I knew saving Brooklyn was a bad idea.

Come on.

[grunts]

Whoa.

What is this place?

LEVEL 1-2

Looks like nobody's been down here for years.

[metal clattering]

-Luigi? -["Underground Theme" echoes]

Luigi, are you in there?

Luigi?

What?

[yelps]

[screaming]

[gasps]

Whoa!

[Luigi grunts, whimpers]

Luigi!

Mario!

Give me your hand!

It's all gonna be okay.

How is this gonna be okay?

I'm telling you, nothing can hurt us as long as we're together.

[gasps] Mario!

[distorted] Luigi!

[screams]

[screams, grunts]

[groans]

[gasps]

-Do not touch that mushroom! You'll die! -[screams]

[breathes heavily] Oh, I'm sorry.

[chuckles] That one's perfectly fine.

That's a little mushroom man. A little mushroom man talking to me.

Pleased to meet ya. I'm Toad.

Uh, Mario.

[chittering]

So this is, uh-- This is-- This is not a dream?

-[screams] -That hurt, right?

Yes!

Definitely not a dream.

Then it's-- This place is--

The Mushroom Kingdom!

Mushrooms. Really?

Now, that is a cruel twist of fate.

[gasps]

Hello.

Yeah, I'm actually looking for somebody. My brother, in fact.

He looks exactly like me, but tall and skinny and green.

See, last time I saw him, he was falling through a pipe.

It was foggy, and I believe there was lava.

[gasps]

Uh, that is not good.

Um, your brother

has landed in the Dark Lands.

They're under… [whispering] Bowser's control.

Bowser?

[normal] He's the most evil, wretched creature alive.

[Mario grunts]

I'm taking you to see the princess.

She can help you. She can do anything.

Princess?

[gasps]

Come on, Mario! Our big adventure begins now!

Hang on, Luigi.

[groans]

[whimpers]

Mario?

Mario?

Where are you?

-[rustling] -Huh?

[screams]

-[bats squeaking] -[screams]

[sighs]

-[rustling] -[gasps]

[whimpers]

[gasps]

[yelps]

-[roars] -[screams]

[grunts]

[groans] Oh.

[laughs] Yes!

You just got a-Luigi'd.

[yelps]

[growls]

[grunts]

[whimpering]

[growling]

[screaming]

[yelps]

-[grunts] -[growling]

[grunting]

[screaming]

-[thunder crashing] -[gasps]

[sighs]

[chuckles]

[screams]

This way, Mario. The princess lives right on that hill.

Do you wanna go or not?

Excuse me, everybody. Coming through!

Got a big adventure happening right now. Just clear a path for us.

-If I could just-- -Here you go.

[Toad] Excuse me.

[shouting] Excuse me, everybody. Coming through.

This guy's brother is going to die imminently.

-What? -Out of the way, please.

Just trying to clear a path. That's all I'm doing.

He's gonna be fine.

-Chanterelle! -Morning!

Nice to see you, bud!

Does this thing work?

Yes, works great. You just have to blow into it.

And up we go!

Wait, up?

[yelps]

[panting]

[whistles]

Whoa. Okay, so these bricks are just floating here? Uh…

[Toad] Just pop in this pipe and we're on our way.

-[groans] -It's the only way to fly, man!

[giggles] Whoo!

Oh, wow. Love these pi--

[screams]

[grunting]

Whoo!

[grunts, screams]

Huh?

[grunts]

Oh, come on!

[groans]

Here we are. Palace doors. Bing, bang, boom!

[uplifting music playing]

Come on! [chuckles] Whoo!

Whoa.

Pretty impressive, am I right?

Hold it right there, you two!

Oh, hey! I need to see the princess.

It's an emergency.

What princess?

I never heard of any princess.

Oh, wait, I did. Our princess, though, is in another castle.

Oh yeah. That's right.

You should try another castle, maybe.

She ain't in this one.

-Huh? -Okay, so they're messing with you,

and I don't like it.

-[gasps] -[screams]

What do you guys, um-- What do you wanna eat?

Anything-- Anything your hearts desire.

Go. I am ready to scramble it up.

[laughter]

-[gasps] -Hey! Intruder!

Stop him!

-[guard 1] Intruder! -Ah!

Stop him!

Now! Stop him!

[chattering]

Council, your attention.

Bowser has found the Super Star and is headed toward our kingdom.

Its power will make him invincible.

We will be destroyed.

[gasping]

Princess, what are we gonna do?

I will not let him hurt you.

We are going to stop Bowser.

How? Look at us.

We're adorable!

I'm going to convince the great Kong army to help us.

Together, we'll annihilate that monster.

Their mad king doesn't make alliances.

The Kongs will never agree.

I can convince him.

I'll leave for the Jungle Kingdom in the morning.

Good luck, Princess.

For all our sakes.

[Mario panting]

[distorted] Princess!

[groans, grunts]

-[gasps] -[gasps] Princess! I--

-[grunting] -[Mario whimpers]

Wait. Release him.

-[groans] -[Princess Peach] Whoa.

Are you…

No.

He's a human! I mean, you are a human, right?

-It's just, you're so small, and-- -Hey!

Wait, wait, wait. Let's go back. Where did you come from?

Me and my little brother, Luigi, we fell down this pipe.

And now he's lost somewhere in the Dark Lands.

Then it's only a matter of time until he's captured by Bowser.

But you're in luck.

I'm on my way to stop him.

Well, take me with you.

This guy's a lunatic.

A psycho.

He will eat you for breakfast.

He won't even notice it, probably, 'cause you're very, very small.

You know what? Make fun of me all you want,

but you are gonna help me find my brother.

Please?

Well, okay.

Let's see what you're made of.

Is that a "yes"?

No. That's a "let's see what you're made of."

[dramatic music playing]

If you can finish this,

you're coming with me.

Watch and learn.

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

Hi-yah!

[panting]

That was amazing.

Wait. How am I supposed to do that?

With the Power-Ups.

They give us special abilities.

[Power-Up sounds]

Ugh. Really?

Go on. Eat it.

[groans]

Now, this has to be a mushroom?

'Cause I just hate mushrooms and--

Okay, okay.

[clears throat]

Are you sure there's not like a--

-Down the hatch. Yep, there it is. -[exclaims]

-[choking] -And all gone.

[coughs] Oh.

Not cool.

Eh.

Huh?

Whoa!

[whoops] I'm tall.

And strong.

And you can jump.

[chuckles] Oh, I got this. No problem.

-[Jump sounds] -Wahoo!

[screaming] Oh no!

[screams]

[Power Down sounds]

[shouts, muffled]

[screaming]

Oh yeah.

When you get hit, you lose the power.

[Question Block sounds]

Great. [groans]

["Holding Out For A Hero" plays]

Come on. Try again.

-[grunts, screams] -Ooh!

[yelps]

♪ Where have all the good men gone ♪

♪ And where are all the gods? ♪

-♪ Where's the streetwise Hercules ♪ -Yes! [screams]

[groans]

♪ To fight the rising odds? ♪

♪ Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed ♪

[retches]

♪ Late at night, I toss and I turn ♪

♪ And I dream of what I need ♪

♪ I need a hero ♪

♪ I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night ♪

♪ He's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast ♪

♪ And he's gotta be fresh from the fight ♪

♪ I need a hero ♪

♪ I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light ♪

♪ He's gotta be sure and it's gotta be soon ♪

♪ And he's gotta be larger than life ♪

♪ Larger than life ♪

[song ends]

[screams]

Well, we have a long journey ahead of us, Mustache.

But I didn't make it.

You almost did.

No one gets it right away.

How many tries did it take you?

Oh, so many.

I was not good at it.

Worse than you.

You got it right away, didn't you?

I got it right away, but I grew up here.

Okay, now you're just trying to make me feel better.

No!

No.

Is it working?

A little bit. Yeah.

[thunderclap]

[heavy metal music plays]

[cheering, laughing]

[panting]

[barking]

[screams]

[whooping]

My army!

-Koopas… -[cheers] Yeah!

…Goombas,

-whatever those things are! -[whimpers]

After years of searching for the Super Star,

-it is finally ours. -[crowd cheers] Yeah!

I am now the most powerful turtle in the world.

[crowd cheers] Yeah!

Soon, we will arrive at the Mushroom Kingdom.

[all] Yeah!

Where, after years of being sworn enemies,

I will ask their princess to marry me

in a fairy-tale wedding!

-[all] Yeah! -[music stops]

Eh?

[slowly] Yeah.

Did he say marry their princess?

[Koopa Troopa] Doesn't she hate you?

Of course she hates me.

But that makes me love her all the more.

Her heart-shaped bangs,

the way she floats in the breeze,

her immovable tiara.

And when she sees this star…

[chuckles] Wedding bells.

What if she says no?

Then I will power up with this star

-and destroy the Mushroom Kingdom! -[music resumes]

-[all cheer] Yeah! -Prepare yourselves

for the best wedding ever!

It's gonna rock!

[Luigi sighs]

[Shy Guy speaking gibberish]

[laughs]

[fanfare plays]

-[gasps] -[Toads cheering]

They're all counting on us.

No pressure.

[Toad 1] Yay!

-[Toad 2] Whoo-hoo! Yeah! -[Toad 3] Hooray!

Huh?

[chuckles]

[Toad 4] Good luck!

-My Toads… -[cheering stops]

…our days of terror are almost over.

With the help of the Kong army, we will stop--

Uh, who's he?

[chuckles]

-He's not important! -[cheering resumes]

[Warp Pipe sounds]

[Warp Pipe sounds]

Nervous?

Who? Me? [scoffs]

-Yes, a little. -[chuckles]

[Toad] ♪ We're going on an adventure! ♪

Come on, guys!

[scatting]

Hey, Mario.

You know this guy?

-Uh-- -We're best friends.

But are we?

Don't worry.

I will protect you.

A Toad brave enough to join me.

I fear nothing.

Well, that settles it. You're coming with us.

-Let's move. -[laughs]

♪ I said we're going on an adventure! ♪

-Whoo! -[screams]

[adventurous music playing]

[gasps]

[grunting]

Pretty incredible, huh?

Mamma mia.

[Princess Peach] I'll never let anyone ruin this.

[piano plays]

♪ Peach, you're so cool ♪

♪ And with my star we're gonna rule ♪

♪ Peach, understand ♪

♪ I'm gonna love you till the very end ♪

♪ Peaches, Peaches, Peaches Peaches, Peaches ♪

♪ Peaches, Peaches, Peaches Peaches, Peaches ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ Oh, Peaches, Peaches-- ♪

-Sire. -[playing stops]

[sighs]

What?

A report from our intelligence.

A mustachioed human has arrived in the Mushroom Kingdom.

[growls]

The princess has been training him.

They are up to something, sire.

Sit.

Jam with me.

["Underground Theme" plays on piano]

This, uh, human,

where did he come from?

We aren't sure.

Does the princess like him?

Sire. Look in the mirror.

You have nothing to worry about.

I know that. I'm not threatened.

[screaming]

Find out who he is

and what they're planning!

I'm on it, sire.

May I lift the cover?

Not yet.

Pain is the best teacher.

[Kamek groans]

[sighs]

Thinking about your brother?

We've never been apart this long.

Don't worry.

We're going to save him.

You don't seem like you're from here.

-I don't know where I'm from. -Really?

Yep.

My earliest memory is arriving.

[Princess Peach] I was so lucky they found me.

They took me in.

[giggling]

Raised me like one of their own.

And when I was ready…

[Toads cheering]

…they made me their princess.

Hey, maybe you're from my world.

There's a huge universe out there

with a lot of galaxies.

[flute plays]

[propeller whirring]

[grunts]

[yelps]

[grunts]

We found him in the Dark Lands.

[growls]

[whimpers]

Leave him to me.

[yelps, screams]

What is your name?

Uh, Luigi.

[chuckles]

Not sure if you know who I am,

but I'm about to marry a princess and rule the world.

Wow, uh-- [chuckles]

Yay. [chuckles]

But there's one problem, Luigi.

There's a human traveling with my fiancée.

Has a mustache.

Just like you.

Do you know him?

[stammers] No. No!

Ah, a tough one, I see.

-Maybe this will get you to talk. -[screams]

Do you think I know every human being with a mustache

wearing an identical outfit with a hat with the letter of his first name on it?

Uh, because I don't.

-[grunts] -[whimpers]

Do you know him?

Stop, stop, stop. I know him. Yes, I know him.

Yeah, he's my brother, Mario, and he's the best guy in the world.

Do princesses find him attractive?

They do if they have good taste.

[screams]

Get him out of my sight.

We'll see how tough this Mario is

when he watches me kill his brother.

[Luigi screaming]

[panting]

[whimpering]

Where am I?

-[laughter] -[shrieks]

Home.

[Penguin king] Pay him no heed.

He is cute, but he is… [whistles]

In an insane world, it is the sane who is called crazy.

How long you guys been in here?

Time, like hope,

is an illusion.

-Please. We are depressed enough. -[sobbing]

There's gotta be a way outta here.

There is no escape.

The only hope

is the sweet relief of death.

[prisoners] Whoa.

[Penguin king] Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

[sighs]

You ready?

Uh, sure…

-[roars] -[Mario and Toad scream]

[growling]

What?

How you doing?

We are here to see the king.

[growls]

Follow me.

That gorilla's wearing a sports coat.

Feel underdressed. [chuckles]

[engine starts]

["Take On Me" plays]

Hop in.

[all shouting]

♪ We're talking away ♪

-[Mario] Whoa! [screams] -[Princess Peach shrieks]

-[screaming] -[Toad whoops]

♪ I'll say it anyway ♪

♪ Today's another day to find you ♪

♪ Shying away ♪

♪ I'll be coming for your love, okay? ♪

[Toad whoops]

♪ Take on me ♪

♪ Take on me ♪

-♪ Take me on ♪ -♪ Take on me ♪

[gasps, screams]

♪ I'll be gone ♪

♪ In a day or two ♪

-[Toad laughs, whoops] -[screams]

♪ I'll be gone ♪

♪ In a day ♪

[Mario screams]

♪ Take on me ♪

♪ Take on me ♪

♪ Take on me ♪

[Princess Peach, Mario grunting]

[song ends]

Oh, by all means, come in.

[guards shout]

Great and mighty Cranky Kong--

So I heard you want my army.

Yes, Your Highness.

Without your help, the Mushroom Kingdom will be annihilated.

What makes you think you're worthy

of fighting alongside the greatest army in the world?

Because we have heart.

And with your strength,

we can win.

-Okay, fine. -That's it?

No, that's not it.

The answer is no. Goodbye.

If the Mushroom Kingdom falls, the Jungle Kingdom is next.

We're not leaving without your army.

[laughing]

Who is this guy?

Oh, he makes me laugh. [laughs]

All right, tough guy.

You want my army so badly,

defeat my son in the Great Ring of Kong!

Give us a second.

This is a really, really bad idea.

Well, do you have another way to save my brother?

Are you two done whispering?

It's a little rude.

You, sir, have a deal.

I'll fight your son

and win.

I'm sure you will.

[laughs]

[coughing, laughing]

[distant rhythmic banging]

[breathes deeply]

[crowd cheering]

[gasps]

[booing]

[gasps]

[gasps]

[roaring]

-[crowd cheering] -["DK Rap" plays on speakers]

[gasps]

♪ Here we go ♪

♪ DK, Donkey Kong ♪

-Whoo-hoo! -Yeah!

I am DK.

-I'm Donkey Kong. -♪ Donkey Kong ♪

Yeah! We love you!

[Donkey Kong] Oh yeah!

Hi, Dad! Hi!

No, no. Don't do that.

Dad, wave back.

Enough with the showboating.

What do you mean? They like it.

It's what they came here for.

-Dancing pecs. -[crowd screams]

Okay, simmer down.

[Diddy Kong] DK! DK!

-I said simmer down! -[song ends]

[Diddy Kong] DK! DK!

That means you, Diddy Kong!

D-- Sorry.

Now, since I want this fight to last more than five seconds,

I put Power-Ups around the arena.

You're welcome, Mario.

I don't need anything special to break every bone in your tiny body!

[growls]

[chuckling]

All right.

-[crowd cheering] -Get him!

[grunting, groaning]

-[gasps] -Oh! My-- Okay.

Guess you're not getting my army.

[whimpers]

Is this what you came for?

-[crowd cheers] -I love you, DK!

[grunts]

[Donkey Kong] Hi, Dad! Love you!

It is on like Donkey Kong!

-[grunting] -[Power-Up sounds]

You're about to pick on someone your own size.

[crowd gasps]

Yeah!

[high-pitched shouting]

-Oh. -[crowd murmurs]

I guess he got the wrong mushroom.

[laughs]

[Mario chuckling]

[screams]

-Ooh. -[panting]

-[shrieks] -[Donkey Kong grunts]

[screaming]

[grunts]

[grunts]

Get up, Mario!

[whimpers]

[yelps]

[yelps, screams]

[Power-Up sounds]

[blows]

[shouts]

-[blow lands] -[screams]

[Mario grunting]

Had enough?

[panting] Not even close.

-[crowd gasps] -[Mario screams]

[high-pitched ringing]

[distorted] Mario!

-[ringing stops] -[distorted] It's-a me.

[distorted] The box!

-[grunts] -[crowd cheers]

[Power-Up sounds]

[purrs]

[crowd] Aw!

[stammers] He looks adorable.

[chuckles] He really does.

-[purrs] Oh, what? I'm a cat? -[Donkey Kong laughing]

You got the cat box! [laughs]

[laughing] Oh, my-- Oh!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Okay.

[normal] Now you die.

Huh. I'm a cat!

[Donkey Kong grunting]

[crowd gasps]

Meow.

[grunts]

[panting]

[grunts]

[whoops]

[grunting]

[panting]

Had enough?

Not even close.

I'll take that as a yes.

[groans]

[crowd cheers]

[crowd chanting] Mario! Mario!

Yes! That's my best friend!

[chanting] Mario! Mario! Mario!

-Yeah, yeah. -[chuckles]

[chanting] Mario! Mario!

-[groans] -That was incredible.

-He kept beating you senseless… -Hey.

…and you just kept getting back up?

You just don't know when to quit.

Huh! Well, never thought of that as a good thing.

It's a great thing.

Thanks. I--

I let him win. Just for the record.

Really, though? Why would you do that?

You wanna know why?

It's, "mind your own business", that's why.

-All right, giant monkey-- -Enough!

Get inside.

We've located Bowser's ship.

He's gonna arrive at the Mushroom Kingdom by sundown.

Lucky for you guys, I got a shortcut.

We beat him there and ambush him.

Yeah, I know.

That's why

we're gonna need karts!

Well, what are you waiting for? Pick your karts.

[machine trills]

[machine whirs]

["Thunderstruck" plays]

♪ Thunder ♪

♪ Thunder ♪

♪ Thunder ♪

♪ Thunder ♪

♪ You've been ♪

♪ Thunderstruck ♪

[engine revs]

♪ Thunderstruck ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, thunderstruck ♪

♪ Thunderstruck ♪

♪ Thunderstruck ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, thunderstruck ♪

[tires squeal]

[song ends]

[whispers] I hate you.

To the Mushroom Kingdom and the biggest fight of our lives.

Here we go!

[Donkey Kong] Yeah!

Princess Peach,

here we are. [chuckles]

I guess love really makes a guy come out of his shell. [chuckles]

[chuckles]

Let's rule the world.

Together.

Forever.

Will you marry me?

Oh yes!

-[clears throat] -[both] What?

We have found the princess and the mustachioed human.

He has defeated Donkey Kong and won the Kong army.

So, like, Peach was super impressed?

It appears so, yes.

They are heading toward their secret passage.

Oh, they think they can surprise me, huh?

Two can play at that game.

[Donkey Kong chuckles]

Um, no one panic, but the road is about to end.

Well, then you better step on the gas and buckle up. [laughing]

[yelping]

[screaming]

[laughing]

Wahoo!

Is there anything like this in your world?

-What? -[shouting] Is there anything like this

in your world?

[chuckles] No.

We don't drive on rainbows.

What are you gonna tell me next? That the turtles aren't evil?

No, no. They're usually pets.

No way.

Eh, come to Brooklyn. I'll buy you a turtle.

[laughs] Maybe I will.

-[engine revs] -[horn honks]

Dude, is this you flirting?

This is painful.

Just-- I was trying to be nice.

You are so embarrassing.

A princess would never go out with you.

Yes, she would. I guarantee she would.

Guys, enough.

[laughs] All right, all right.

[no audible dialogue]

[growls]

[Koopa General] Attack!

[grunting]

It's an ambush!

-[yelps] -Defensive positions!

[Koopas screaming]

[cackles]

Mario, you're a dead man.

[whimpers]

Split up!

Mario!

[yelps]

[screams]

[growls]

[laughs]

[gasps]

-Whoa! -[device beeps]

Whoa!

[screams]

[screams]

[laughs]

[screams]

[grunts]

[yelps]

[screams]

I'm too cute to die!

[screaming]

[chuckles]

That is how you princess!

[cackling]

[screams]

Time to die, Mario.

[screams]

[laughing]

[whimpers]

[cackles] Oh!

Ow!

See ya!

No!

Wahoo! [laughs]

Yeah!

You can't escape me!

What?

Blue shell!

[yelping]

[device ticking rapidly]

[both screaming]

No!

No, Mario!

[screams] No! No!

[yelps] Whoa!

Get your clown claws off of me!

[cackling]

Goodbye, Mario.

We have to get home.

[both screaming]

Hey! This is your fault!

My fault? You're the one who--

Stop talking! I don't want the last thing I hear before I die to be your--

[grunts]

[Mario grunting]

[growls]

[both gasping]

Mario,

you saved my life.

Yeah, well,

I won't tell anyone.

Good. Please don't.

Okay.

[rumbling]

Uh, did you just feel something?

[both scream]

Swim!

Bowser's on his way. You have to evacuate.

[Toads scream]

Hurry! Get out of the city!

[Toads clamoring, screaming]

[Toads exclaiming]

Princess?

We lost the army.

-[Toads whimpering] -And Mario's gone.

[Toads gasp]

Bowser is coming.

Head into the forest.

I'll buy you some time.

You heard her.

Evacuate the city.

[clamoring]

Go with the others.

I said I wouldn't let anyone hurt you.

Run!

[screams]

Just leave it! There's no time!

[screaming]

[low rumbling]

[thunderclap]

Princess Peach.

Brave as ever.

As you can see,

I have the Super Star.

If you're going to use it,

use it now.

[clears throat]

No, Princess.

I stole this star for us.

I guess love really makes a guy come out of his shell. [chuckles]

I told you that line wouldn't work.

[Kamek] You're doing great.

Peaches,

with this star, we will be invincible.

We can rule the world together.

Forever.

Will you marry me?

Marry you? Are you insane?

I would never marry you.

Maybe you should reconsider.

[shrieks]

No! [groans]

-Stop! -[screams]

Please, stop.

I'll-- I'll marry you. Just don't hurt my Toads.

[Toad grunts]

-[gasps] -[groans]

You have my word.

[sighs]

[laughs] Time for a wedding!

[Lumalee singing] ♪ Life is sad ♪

♪ Prison is sad ♪

♪ Life in prison is very, very sad ♪

[prisoners scream]

[sighs]

Oh, fresh meat for the grinder.

Who's this ray of sunshine?

There's no sunshine. Only darkness.

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

Hello, prisoners.

You don't deserve this, but you're invited to the royal wedding!

Yay!

Where you will all be ritualistically sacrificed!

[prisoners clamoring]

Oh no, no, no!

Finally. Mercy.

[whimpers] Mario.

[growls]

So this is the end.

Being slowly digested by an eel, next to an idiot in overalls.

Well, at least your brother isn't gonna die because of you.

At least you're not gonna die with your dad thinking you're a joke.

Yeah, well, my dad thinks I'm a joke too.

Yeah, well,

your dad's right!

You know what? I feel bad enough.

Just leave me alone.

I've never met your dad, but he sounds brilliant.

Just go in a corner and smash some stuff, smash monkey.

[grunts] I am more…

-[eel groans] -…than a guy who smashes things!

[eel grunts, groans]

[burps]

[groans]

[roars]

[both cheering]

-That was amazing. -Now we're even!

[Shy Guy groans]

[grunts, sighs]

[breathes deeply]

[door opens]

Princess, I got it.

[sighs] Great job.

Couldn't have you going out there without your bouquet.

It's perfect.

-["Wedding March" plays] -[doors creak]

[gasps]

[whimpers]

I'll be sacrificing them in your honor.

Lower the prisoners!

[whimpering]

[song ends]

[clears throat]

Dearly belove-- [grunts]

-Huh? -[wedding guests gasp]

[singsong] Drama.

You really thought I'd marry you?

Kinda.

I'd never marry a monster.

[Power-Up sounds]

Then we are breaking up right now!

[grunting]

[groans]

[grunts]

[shrieks]

[sighs]

[wedding guests scream]

[low rumbling]

They gotta be up there.

Fire!

[both scream]

[both grunting]

[gasps]

You wanna do this?

Yes, I do.

[grunts]

[Power-Up sounds]

[Power-Up sounds]

-Yes! Fire! -[cheers]

Wahoo!

[Donkey Kong] This is fun!

-Ha! Loser. [grunts] -[Power Down sounds]

[Power-Up sounds]

Hey, what does this do?

[screams]

-Whoa. Yeah! -[screams]

Whoa. [screams, laughs]

Cool raccoon suit.

-Really? -Not at all.

[shouts]

[screams]

[whimpers]

-[shrieks, grunts] -[Power Down sounds]

-[shrieks] -[Luigi grunting]

[shrieking]

[shrieks] What? [stammering] Um.

Whee! [laughs]

[screaming]

[gasps]

-[metal scrapes] -Huh?

[groaning]

[sighs]

[sighs]

Boo.

[grunts]

[screaming]

Huh? [shrieks]

-Lu! -Mario? [laughs]

-[laughs] -I told ya. See?

As long as we're together, everything is gonna be okay.

[laughs, sighs]

Mario, why do you look like a bear? What is this?

[Donkey Kong grunts]

Ya did good, kid.

Make your pecs dance. You deserve it.

No time now. Definitely later.

[growling]

[growling continues]

Launch the Bomber Bill and destroy the Mushroom Kingdom!

[rumbling]

[all gasp]

No.

Hey. Hey. Hey, over here.

You asked for it.

[shrieks]

[growls]

[chuckles] Hello.

[gasps]

Ow. [grunts]

Really?

Follow me.

Come on.

Little closer.

[distorted] Mamma mia.

Huh?

-[grunts, screams] -[Power Down sounds]

-[Princess Peach] Whoa! -[Luigi grunts]

[groans]

[all screaming]

Whoa! [grunts]

[screams]

[laughs]

-That's beautiful. -You made these, right?

-[rumbling] -[gasps]

-Huh? Whoa! -[electricity crackles]

[whooshing]

[Mario screams]

[grunts, pants]

Huh?

Brooklyn?

-[tires screech] -[gasps]

Mario?

-[door closes] -You almost dented my--

[rumbling]

[Spike shrieks]

[panting, screams]

[grunts]

[all scream, groaning]

[grunts]

[screaming]

[grunts, gasps]

[Bowser] Mario!

You want this?

[Mario shrieks]

[growls]

[gasps, yelps]

You ruined my wedding!

I was finally gonna be happy!

-[shrieks] -Now you will suffer!

[groans]

Like me!

[grunts]

[grunts, screams]

[grunts]

You really thought you could stop me?

You worthless, weak little nothing.

Come out and fight!

Or are you too scared?

[pants]

[cackles]

Just what I thought.

-[grunts] -[shouts]

[growling, roars]

[sighs]

-[TV beeps] -[Mario, Luigi on TV] Mamma mia!

That's a-why the Super Mario Brothers are here.

[glitching] …a-to save Brooklyn. …save Brooklyn-- Brooklyn.

…save Brooklyn.

[no audible dialogue]

Let's-a go.

[Mario] Hey.

Leave him alone.

Mario?

-[grunts] -You just don't know when to quit.

Yeah. I've been told that before.

-Mario! [grunts] -[groans]

The star!

No! That's mine!

[panting]

[grunts]

[sentimental music playing]

Lu.

[grunts]

"Nothing can hurt us as long as we're together."

-[metal creaks] -[grunts]

No!

[cackles]

["Starman Theme" playing]

Huh?

[screams, groans]

-Rip them to pieces! -[shouting]

[Sledge Brother grunting]

[all scream]

[Shy Guy speaking gibberish]

Oh, hey, Spike.

Luigi?

[Bowser's army shouting]

[all grunting]

-[whimpers] -[Dad] No!

Mamma mia!

[grunts]

[all grunting, groaning]

[Bowser groans]

[screams]

[screams]

[Bowser groans]

[both panting]

[groans]

Peaches. [chuckles] Uh, listen.

This is not the way I pictured it, but give me one more chance.

Ew. No.

No, no, no--

[in high-pitched voice] Hey. Hey!

-[laughs] -That is not cool.

Ha! He got the blue mushroom.

Eh? I told you I'd get you a pet turtle.

[chuckles] Not bad, Mustache.

And, Luigi, you're so brave.

Oh. [chuckles] Thanks, uh-- Yeah, it's kinda my thing.

Ah. My boys.

-My heroes. -Wahoo!

Mario, you were amazing.

[laughs]

Thanks, Dad.

-Ah, bring it in! -[all groaning]

[civilians cheering]

Yeah! [grunts]

Let's hear it for the Super Mario Brothers!

[pedestrian] Yeah! You guys are heroes! Thank you, Mario Brothers!

These are my boys!

-[laughs] Hey. -[laughs]

Wahoo!

[cheering continues]

-[laughs] Yes! -[Mario, Luigi] Hey!

[cheering fades]

[alarm blares]

["Mr. Blue Sky" plays on radio]

♪ Sun is shining in the sky ♪

♪ There ain't a cloud in sight ♪

♪ It's stopped raining ♪

♪ Everybody's in the play ♪

♪ And don't you know ♪

♪ It's a beautiful new day ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

-Morning. -Hello.

[laughs]

[Mario laughing] Oh!

Wahoo!

[song ends]

[laughs]

Now, that's a happy ending.

-[low rumbling] -Or is it?

Because everything's over now,

and all that's left is you and the infinite void.

Kind of makes you want to play saxophone, huh?

["Ground Theme" plays on saxophone]

[song ends]

[piano plays]

♪ Mario, Luigi and Donkey Kong too ♪

♪ A thousand troops of Koopas couldn't keep me from you ♪

♪ Princess Peach ♪

♪ At the end of the line ♪

♪ I'll make you mine ♪

♪ Oh, Peaches, Peaches Peaches, Peaches, Peaches ♪

♪ Peaches, Peaches Peaches, Peaches, Peaches ♪

♪ I love you, oh-- ♪

Hey.

Quiet in there.

Lights out, little guy.

[in high-pitched voice] Hey! You can't treat me like this.

Do you know who I am? I am Bow--

[Bowser sighs]

[dramatic music playing]

[machines whirring]

[egg cracking]

[voice] Yoshi!