Original subtitles

You little…

You'll never get a man like that.

It's not your business.

You are so unlikable.

You'd better fix that.

How?

Start by kissing someone.

Nowadays, girls initiate kisses.

Don't lie!

But I guess you can't.

I can!

Look for your wallet!

Is your wallet big?

What's your wallet--

Ms. Sakaki?

Ms. Sakaki, aren't you going to eat?

Ms. Sakaki?

Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, can someone

read the textbook? Page…

What?

The textbook is…

Ms. Sakaki, it's lunchtime.

Oh…

That's right!

It's lunchtime.

Sorry about that! Continue eating, everyone.

Um…

I…

Hey…

I…

More like…

You…

You…

You didn't have to actually do it.

I can't believe you listened to me!

You are so simple-minded!

In a way, it's actually impressive.

I'm impressed! Ouch, I tripped.

I can't believe it.

Come on, let's find your wallet already.

It's white, right? This is impossible.

Hey…

You're horrible. You're the worst, you idiot!

You didn't just do that…

How dare you do that to me!

Yes!

What was that for!

-You liar! -There!

You fool!

There! Ouch!

You little…

Take that!

That hurt! That wasn't fair!

Good evening. Sorry to come unannounced.

Who are you?

I am Shirakura from General Television.

General Television? A television station?

On TV?

-Yes. -Us?

Have you seen the show called Tokyo Lifestyle?

The one where they showcase

the homes of men living in Tokyo on live TV?

Yes. We were looking for someone in Harajuku, and some people suggested you.

Wait, so you want to broadcast our house on live TV?

That's right.

Yes!

He said TV!

We're going to be on TV! Us!

I'm getting nervous already.

What are we going to do if we become even more popular!

We get to be on TV?

Oh!

On the day of the shoot, you go play outside.

Why?

Why? If the beautiful ladies that are watching TV

think that we're fathers, they'll have no interest in us.

That's true.

-That's the way it is. Too bad, Akira. -Too bad.

I want to be on TV.

I want to be on TV!

"I don't care about being on TV."

What a good kid.

Good boy.

The three of us are single and ready to mingle! We accept your offer!

Uh, thank you very much.

So, what about our outfits?

Will you do our makeup?

-Right. -No, just wear what you always wear.

Why?

We just want to see your candid, regular lifestyle.

-Our regular selves? -That's the premise of the show.

So don't try to act--

All right, Suga.

-Don't worry about it! -It's "Shirakura".

We just have to be our usual selves, right, Yamaguchi?

-It's "Shirakura". -Our candid, natural selves…

What?

-You're going to be on TV? -You guys?

One, two! Yes!

Once we appear on TV, the world will go crazy.

People on the streets will be like…

"Date me! Sleep with me! Kiss me!"

Want our autograph now?

No, thank you.

Now's your only chance!

Oh, it's Ms. Nozomi.

Hey!

Good evening.

What are you doing? Sit over here with everyone.

I guess I will…

They're going to be on TV.

Record it on standard play mode and not 1/3 speed.

-Standard mode. -I see.

Better get our autograph now.

That's right. Once we're on TV,

everyone will be like, "Date me! Sleep with me!

Kiss me!"

When people see us on TV,

they might even fall in love with us.

Do you want to kiss us before that happens?

What are you saying!

If you fall in love with us after the show airs, it'll be too late.

As if I would…

I want to be on TV too.

Hey!

What? Akira isn't going to be on?

I can't be on TV.

Why is he the only one who can't be on TV?

-Well, he has school, you know? -Shut your mouth.

That's unfair!

-Oh! -Why are you screaming?

Akira, you'll be on TV too.

Really?

-Huh? -What are you saying?

It just came to me! It's our chance!

Chance?

If Akira is on TV, maybe his dad and mom

will watch too.

As if his parents would be watching TV…

That's possible.

Right? Right?

But

if we're together with him, our chances of getting girls…

-Might be bigger. -What do you mean?

Three kindhearted men

lovingly raising a boy who they had

no connection with.

It's so rare to see such warmhearted people these days.

Date me! Sleep with me! Kiss me!

-Exactly. -I see!

You really are smart!

The part about calling out to his mother is a good idea.

All right, Akira! Once school ends,

-rush back home. -Yeah!

-Yell out to Dad and Mom. -Yeah!

They might watch it and come to get you.

I'll do my best!

Good for you, Akira.

Good for you! Yes!

Here we go.

Five, four, three…

Tokyo Lifestyle!

Hello, I am Mighty Sakaue.

Today, we will introduce you

to three men who are living together in this house in Harajuku.

They have actually

taken in a boy whom they've never met before

and are raising him

because he cannot live with his parents at this time.

What kind of lifestyle do they lead?

Let's take a look!

TOKYO LIFESTYLE

All right! We're inside now!

What kind of people are they?

What is this? Let's open it up.

Whoa!

Oh, you found me?

I am Yamada.

You're Taro Yamada?

Yamada,

what kind of lifestyle do you normally lead?

Well, when I find the time in my busy schedule,

I go to the park and play the violin

-towards the withered trees. -How cool!

-No way! -I sit on the bench

-and read Osamu Dazai novels. -It's smoky in here.

That's pretty much

-what I do to feel refreshed. -Wow.

You should try it out too.

Also, there's one more thing.

What a bunch of lies.

But he's so handsome.

What?

My name is Ken Otsubo.

I will use the letters in my name to tell you about myself.

I don't get it. What do you mean?

"O" stands for "Old people, whom I treat with care."

Okay…

"O" stands for

"Old people, whom I treat with care."

You just said that. Say something different.

-"T" stands for… -"T"?

"Though I'm called a cruel man…"

Okay…

-"B" stands for… -"B"?

"Brutality is unacceptable to me."

-"K" stands for… -"K"?

He's the complete opposite.

That's a little wordy but whatever.

-"N" stands for… -"N"?

N…

Next up is the owner of this house.

Here he is.

Akira, what is three plus six?

-Nine. -Correct.

Here's your allowance.

What?

Oops,

did you want Fukuzawa instead of Natsume?

Um, excuse me…

Oops, sorry. I was so caught up in raising this child…

Are you Zen Maeda, the owner of this house?

That's right. I own this house.

Whoa! What?

-My motto is, "Three peace…" -So you are Akira?

I see.

-"Three peace brings… " -Excuse me.

Akira, how do you view these guys who live here?

-They're all acting different than usual. -Whoa!

Huh? What?

-He said you're different. -Don't mind him.

-What? What do you mean? -Move on, please.

I want to play you like an instrument.

-Are you watching, Teruki? -You're sold out.

Orange pekoe.

Well then, we are going to dig deeper

into your lifestyles. Are you ready?

-Of course. -Of course.

TOKYO LIFESTYLE

Let's three peace together.

All right then,

-now we'd like to see your bathroom. -Okay.

Bathroom? Sure, sure.

-You're breaking character. -Come

-and look at it! -Our bathroom is fabulous.

-Come on. -It's a relaxing space.

-Oh really? -We're really proud of it.

They're very proud of it.

-Ready? -Yes.

Look at it!

-Hello. -Why are you here, Harry?

-Who is that? -Nobody.

-Who was that? -That room is amazing.

All right, today we were able

to show you this family in Harajuku,

who is doing their best

-raising a boy-- -Hey.

When am I going to be able

to yell out to Dad and Mom?

-Oh, I forgot! -Oops!

-Hurry, Zen! -Yell out! Hurry!

It's me, Akira!

Dad! Mom!

I'll be waiting for you!

We're taking care of him!

-Dad! Mom! -Inspector, this is…

I'm doing fine!

-Louder! -Louder!

I am doing fine!

Jeez, nothing has changed since we went on TV.

Not a single fan letter!

Who said people were going to be like, "Sleep with me! Date me! Kiss me!"?

You two ruined it by trying to act cool.

You're one to talk!

You giving Akira an allowance was so fake!

First of all, why was Harry in the house?

How should I know? Don't ask me! It's not my fault.

Who is it this early in the morning? It's open!

It's me, Shirakura from General Television.

I have come to deliver the fan letters

that were delivered to the station.

-Fan letters? -Fan letters?

IT'S YOUR MAIL

"Akira, you're so adorable."

-"Akira is so cute." -"Akira, come over to my house."

"Ken, don't be mean to Akira."

Why are they all for Akira?

On top of that, they're all just fan letters.

No information on his parents yet.

I thought this would kill two birds with one stone.

It might just be hidden at the very bottom.

There might be a letter that will surprise all of us and Akira.

What about this!

Look! This is for me!

No way! Really?

Gold Sports?

Enjoy.

Nice to meet you.

I'm Hatsumi Sakuraba from Gold Sports.

Um…

You're really that company who makes boards and stuff?

-That's right. -What happened?

Someone from a sporting goods company saw Zen on TV and reached out.

Senior Managing Director? You're so young though.

Actually, it's my father's company.

Oh, so that makes you an heiress.

No, I'm nothing fancy like that.

What did you want to talk to me about?

Will you join our team?

Team?

I saw you for the first time in a while on TV the other day

and knew it had to be you.

"In a while"? Have we met before?

You used to compete in all sorts of snowboarding competitions, right?

I used to.

I was in the same competition as you once.

Since then, I've always liked your snowboarding style.

Really? So you're talking about a snowboarding team?

No.

It's snow cycling.

Snow cycling?

You've done it before, right?

I have but not seriously.

Would you like to take it seriously?

You have a snow cycling team?

Our company will officially have our own team from this season.

But it's not a popular sport in Japan yet, you know?

So there aren't that many people I'd like to recruit.

So you chose me?

I am confident that you can become a professional in snow cycling.

-Professional? -You are skilled in both snowboarding

and bicycling.

Snow cycling is the sport for you.

You think so?

So I want you to join our team

and strive to become a professional.

We will back you up 100%.

That's hard to pass up.

Please.

Me? Becoming a professional?

Hey, what is a professional?

Professionals are professionals, like Ichiro and Nakata.

You didn't explain anything.

-I did. -Is it a big deal?

Yeah, being professional is a big deal. You get loads and loads of money.

It wasn't a scam, huh?

What would you do if I become a professional, Akira?

Zen, you're amazing!

I know, right? You can brag about me at school.

I knew something was about to happen when I saw that letter.

I knew that letter would end up changing Zen's future.

We're counting on you, Maeda Pro.

-What did you just say? -Maeda Pro.

Yu, serve your

-most expensive alcohol to Mr. Otsubo! -Thanks.

May I also get something, Maeda Pro?

Drink all you want!

Why don't you pay your tab first?

It's fine!

Once he becomes a professional, he can buy out this entire place.

Akira, you order something too.

I want to eat a parfait, Maeda Pro.

What did you say?

-Maeda Pro. -Again!

Maeda Pro!

Yu, give him a parfait with three scoops of ice cream.

You sisters over there, say it to him.

Maeda Pro.

Yu, give those sisters some milk!

Amen!

-Lady, you too! -I think you should think about it.

Glare.

The professional world is not easy.

You're just getting carried away and fawning over

that company president's daughter.

You don't know whether it'll work out or not.

Excuse me?

Don't you agree, Yu?

Either way, I think we're allowed

to be happy that even someone like Zen can be useful to somebody.

Well said, Yu!

-"Even someone like Zen"? -When will you reply?

Well, we agreed

to meet up again to talk about it further.

Maeda Pro in the making.

-That's great. Say it again. -Maeda Pro.

-Nice! One more time. -Maeda Pro.

Hey, sweet tooth guy, say it too.

Maeda Pro.

Nice!

Yu, give him cake.

I want ice cream too, Maeda Pro.

Maeda Pro will give you ice cream too.

Give me a piece of nori, Maeda Pro.

-All right, fine. Here. -Thanks.

I want nori too, Maeda Pro.

I want nori too,

Maeda Pro.

I guess I have no choice.

There. There. Eat up.

Maeda Pro is fine with just white rice and vinegar.

There.

Oh…

I'll get the phone. Don't worry about it.

-You sit down, Maeda Pro. -Wow.

-I'm sure it's a phone call for me. -What?

Are you getting scouted too?

-Will you be Otsubo Pro? -Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

It's too early for that.

Hello, this is Otsubo Pro.

Oh, pardon me, Hyuga.

Did you get any reaction?

Oh, you watched the show?

You wouldn't believe it!

A sporting goods company scouted Zen and asked him to become a pro.

I'm not asking about you guys.

I'm asking about the kid.

Oh, about that?

It's about Akira.

Akira also got

a bunch of letters and stuff but nothing important.

I see.

I hope you get some good leads.

Thank you very much. Um, is that all you called for?

Yes. Goodbye!

That made me nervous!

He took the time to call just to ask about Akira?

In a way, he is like Zen's chaperone after all.

Not just mine. He's "our" chaperone.

That's right. He was the only one who listened to us

when we were up to no good.

That's true. The other adults looked at us like we were raw garbage.

Akira, you're lucky to have such a dependable person on your side.

-Yeah. -I can't

sleep with my belly facing him.

You mean "feet".

Harry Pro has the lead.

It's as if the snow is on his side.

Will he keep his lead until the end?

However, here comes Maeda Pro!

He closes the gap!

But Harry Pro

passes him!

The crowd is screaming,

"Harry! Harry!

-Harry! Harry!" -The Harry chant

has turned into a Maeda chant!

Maeda Pro!

-Maeda Pro! -Not yet!

Maeda Pro!

WHAT'RE YOU LOOKING AT

Next is moral education!

Moral education?

We will learn how to give someone a dirty look.

A dirty look?

First, you walk up to them slowly.

And then you glare at them as hard as you can.

Then you mumble incoherent things to them.

You little…

-You little… -You little…

The basics of sitting!

Elbows on your knees. Let's do this together.

Then you slowly move your eyes up as you glare at them.

Hey, girl!

That's a short skirt you're wearing.

Hey, girl.

That's a short skirt you're wearing.

Wait, you can't whistle?

-I can't. -You want to learn?

-I do. -All right.

Then call me Master Ken from now on.

Please teach me, Master Ken. Repeat.

Please teach me, Master Ken.

All right. Now I will cram all that I know about morals

into your brain.

Punch, punch!

Lower your body like this.

Like this, Master Ken?

That's right. And then go

punch, punch, punch!

Punch! Try it.

Punch, punch, punch!

Next is the roundhouse kick.

I will teach you a special roundhouse kick.

Ready… There!

-Good evening. -That voice…

Yu!

Here, you forgot this. You need this, don't you?

Thank you.

You came to drop that off?

-What were you two doing together? -Oh, well…

Fighting class.

Fighting class?

You idiot! I said it was moral education.

You only teach him useless things like that.

-I'll go to the bathroom. -Hey, don't run away.

You were enjoying it too!

Jeez, why are you teaching him how to fight? What if he

gets arrested like you guys?

We're just joking around.

You guys were always getting arrested.

Yeah, we caused a lot of trouble

for Hyuga.

Even when I was almost arrested and blamed for something

that I didn't even do,

the only one who took my side was Hyuga.

I remember that.

-Hey, you know… -Huh?

You know…

Never mind.

What is it? Tell me.

You know, I…

Never mind. I need to get back to the bar. Bye, Akira.

Bye.

Yu, what was that about?

Mr. Hosono from the prosecutor's office will come at 3:00 p.m.

He wants to talk to you about a case he's investigating.

After that, there will be a meeting at Aoyama Station from 5:00 p.m.

You are scheduled to be there as well.

How about this, Taro?

The three peace mark is in the way.

-I don't get you. -How's this?

-What do you think? -I don't care!

Man, she's so unlikable.

What's up with her?

Hey, where's Ken and Akira?

We invited them, but they stayed home.

Ken was acting weird.

"I just can't go

to Red Line."

-He was blushing and saying that. -Yeah.

He said he'll look after Akira and sent us off.

What's up with that?

I have no clue.

How about this?

No matter how I think about it, that's the only explanation.

No, it can't be!

No, it is. It must be.

Right?

You're curious about what it is, right?

Not really.

You must be curious!

You're special, so I'll tell you.

Listen carefully.

The truth is,

there is a woman who fell in love with me.

Can you guess who?

The old lady from the bathhouse?

Idiot! It's not that old hag. Believe it or not…

it's Yu.

Are you surprised?

Are you sure?

I guess a kid like you wouldn't understand.

While you were in the bathroom,

she confessed to me.

She was like, "You know…"

If you hadn't come out of the bathroom, she would've confessed.

She would've said it all.

But I'm sensitive when it comes to emotions, so I still got the message.

What!

Hey! Hey!

He came anyway.

Big news!

It came!

Were you scouted?

It's a letter from Akira's mother!

"Dear Akira, I want to see you, even for just a second.

On March 1st at 7:00 p.m.,

I'll be waiting at the Brighton Hotel lounge.

-Love, Mom." -That's tomorrow.

Akira, is this your mom's writing?

LOVE, MOM

It looks like Mom's writing.

Let's go see her.

Akira, don't be nervous.

You too, Zen.

I know.

She's late.

Zen, why are you more restless than him?

I know, but…

It was probably a prank after all.

You never know.

Don't give up until the end.

Okay.

-There he is! -He's so cute!

You see?

-I told you he'd come. -Yeah.

Hey, you're Akira, right?

You really came, huh?

We saw you on TV.

I want you to be my baby brother.

He's so cute.

What's this about?

They watched the show

-and said this kid was so cute. -Yeah.

So I told them to send a letter.

I didn't expect him to really show up.

I told you he would if you wrote it like that.

-You guys wrote this letter? -Didn't I just say that?

What? Did you actually think it was your mom?

Sorry, Akira.

It's fine.

Akira…

Let's go home.

-What? You're leaving already? -Let's talk more,

Akira.

You came all the way over here. Might as well stay a little.

Knock it off.

Think about how Akira felt coming here.

Do you realize what you've done?

You left a huge scar on this little kid's heart.

What's up with him?

Stop exaggerating.

-Yeah. -I know.

Zen!

You don't know how he felt--

All of you, get out.

Let's go.

-Yeah, let's go. -Whatever.

What a waste of time.

Zen, let's go home.

Okay.

Let's go.

I wonder what dinner is tonight.

It's Ken's turn to cook,

so it might be tacos again.

I hope it's not.

One out of three times, he brings back leftovers from the shop.

If it's tacos again, we have to punch him.

And say, "You dummy!"

-What do you think? -You dummy!

-You dummy! -Dummy!

Sock him!

-Sock him! -Now together.

Sock him!

Good.

-Bro… -Hey.

Want some coffee?

Sure.

They haven't gotten

any useful information?

About Akira?

Were they all just pranks?

The thing is…

That's not exactly true.

Here it is.

Ms. Nozomi.

Zen is becoming a professional today.

What?

Hurry up!

Recess is almost over!

What! Wait!

What? One year abroad?

Yes. At least one year.

Because in Japan, you'll have to wait until winter.

So we'll go overseas and train in the snowy mountains.

That means I have to leave this place, right?

Of course.

Oh, are you in a relationship or something?

No, I'm not dating anyone, but…

Overseas?

One year abroad, huh?

I'm sorry. I'll have to say no.

What?

It's not a bad deal though.

Um, right now,

I'm taking care of a kid named Akira.

And I want to stay by his side until his parents come for him.

So…

if you need me to go right now, I have to say no.

I understand.

I'm sorry. I know you're giving me a nice opportunity.

But if you change your mind, give me a call.

I think you are worth the wait.

Thank you.

I'll get going then.

What are you doing?

Ouch!

You're not even hiding!

Did you say no because of what happened?

No.

Even if that hadn't happened, there is no way I would leave Akira.

I see.

But Akira is so much stronger now.

He doesn't look upset at all. He's acting energetic and happy.

Of course! We're teaching him after all.

If…

Huh?

If his real mother comes to get him,

you guys might be the ones who will be unbearably lonely.

Don't be stupid.

If Akira is happy, of course, we will be happy too.

I know but still.

What were you doing at that cafe anyway?

Huh?

Me? What are you saying? It's not like that!

I wasn't following you.

Following?

Like I said, it was a coincidence.

Don't fall for me.

If you fall for me just because I was scouted,

I'll break your heart.

You are stupid.

I am not stupid. I am Zen Maeda.

Okonomiyaki cabbage special.

There is only cabbage in here.

That's why it's a cabbage special.

If you became a professional,

we wouldn't have to live like poor people. Why did you turn it down?

-I didn't turn it down. I put it on hold. -I don't get it.

Whatever! Hurry up and fry those.

Mind your own business. This is my area.

Yu is just being shy.

I like that

about her too.

Zen. Zen.

-It's spreading out too much. -Yeah.

You guys,

when Yu and I get married, don't cry.

It's burning!

Don't be jealous!

It's fine.

Just leave it alone.

Good evening.

-It's Yu! -That voice! It's Yu!

Yu is here.

-I must be right then. -Hey!

Why else would she come so often?

What a sad looking okonomiyaki.

It's not about how many ingredients are inside.

What brings you here?

Want to step outside?

This.

-I got amusement park tickets. -Oh!

Let's go on Sunday with Akira.

Amusement park?

Really?

-I want to go! -Here.

-Thank you. -I have work.

What about Zen?

I have the evening shift, so I can't stay the whole time.

I'm free.

I mean, what's the point if I don't go?

Okay, let's meet up there at noon.

-Okay. -Bye.

-Okay! -Thank you!

All right!

Meet you there! I'm definitely going!

All right!

Tonight is going to be the night!

Listen, Zen.

Yu actually wanted to come here alone with me.

Hey!

She invited you two because she's shy!

-Do you understand? -Yes, yes.

Anyway, when Yu gets here, make sure you

leave us alone as soon as possible.

I got it, Otsubo senpai!

-Akira! -I got it, Master Ken.

-I'm counting on you. -Yes.

Where is Yu?

They got a call from someone who claimed to be Akira's mother.

Was it really her?

Akira didn't take the call, so we don't know.

She said she'd be waiting at the Tama Amusement Park on Sunday at noon.

Are they going?

It might be a prank, but they're going to take Akira there without telling him.

I hope it's his real mother.

Yeah.

Don't come.

Yu is so late!

What is she doing?

Hey, Ken. Want a bite of my ice cream?

Oh, great.

RAMEN AND SANUKI UDON

-Oh… -How mean, Ken!

Buy him another one!

All right, fine! More importantly, where is Yu?

She's not here yet?

-Oh, I need to get going soon. -Hey, wait a second!

-If you leave, I can't be alone with Yu. -Bye, Ken.

-Please! Wait a second! Please wait! -Bye, Akira.

-Please wait, Mr. Maeda! Please! -You'll be fine.

-Let go of me. -Please!

Inspector!

-Any movement? -Not yet.

Bro!

Why?

What's going on?

Is it what I think it is?

I was thinking it was strange

how you've been showing up in front of the guys nowadays.

You come to my bar a lot too.

But I kept telling myself

that it wasn't not true.

Akira's mother won't come.

You tricked me?

Please.

Don't hurt them or Akira anymore.

What do you mean?

Zen!

What is this about, Hyuga?

You told him not to hurt us or Akira,

but what do you mean?

The thing is…

I came here to stake out

Kotaro Igarashi's son, Akira Igarashi.

That's not true, right?

So…

you approached us in order to capture Akira's father?

No way…

That can't be, right?

My job

is to capture that kid's father.

In order to capture his father,

I approached you guys.

Yeah, right!

That joke isn't funny, Hyuga!

It's a lie, right?

Tell me that it's a lie.

Why?

Why did you do it?

Listen…

That kid's father

used his position as company president

to embezzle several hundred million yen.

In the end, the company went bankrupt, and he's on the run.

And that money is thought

to have been given to politicians as political funding.

A large-scale profit increase can lead to trouble.

This case is already being handled

by the Special Investigation Department.

Kotaro Igarashi is a criminal!

Akira, give me a bite.

-No. -Hey. Why not?

-No! -Just one bite.

-No! -Just one bite.

And it's my job

to catch that criminal.

You were lying to us the whole time?

I wasn't lying to you.

I was just using you.

How could you?

I will use anything that I can,

even if it's my own family.

This time, you guys happened to be near that kid, so I used you.

That is all.

Subtitle translation by: Kiko Morita